Compilation Of Michael's Best Jokes About Public Transport | Michael McIntyre

[@Mad9977]

"chaos on the roads, it has been snowing for 8 seconds..." 😂

[@robo08ify]

That sounds like the American south and southwest. 😂

[@pinkmagicali]

That’s Australia.

[@mahasw777]

Sounds like Virginia Beach!

[@chriseTx]

The imaginary bus might be the most British thing ever

[@Mortthemoose]

I bet they were in an orderly queue too! Lol

[@collinscartoons2887]

Just keep walking Just keep walking

[@rosestar7078]

Miss Moose Im British. Is there another way to walk in a group of strangers?

[@Finda5]

does this actually happen?

[@pamilyadance3550]

I’m always on an imaginary bus Hahahaha

[@MaryCochrane]

I love you British people. Even when you swear, you sound so elegant. Again, so glad I found you. You are a joy in my life.

[@jamieosullivan2684]

“So glad I found you”🤣🤣🤣

[@user-un9jo9fo4i]

It's very interesting, you all think we're so posh, the teenagers round me are all in hoodies drinking wkd, while attacking each other.

[@jamieosullivan2684]

Emerson Maybe are you Australian or American?

[@sandyxx6243]

**other than Chavs and roadmen**

[@MaryCochrane]

Emerson Maybe I’m Canadian and Our teenagers the same.

[@dotnetdevni]

I don’t like many comedians but the way u tell a story and make people laugh is priceless.

[@jenk6895]

Let me guess...American? LOL

[@dotnetdevni]

Jen K No I am Belfast.

[@tigerlilygledhill8348]

@deekat3279 no need to be so rude :-)

[@Oasisftww]

Peter kay is pretty good at it

[@ittakesallkinds809]

I like lots of commedianes, but you're right, Michael is priceless.

[@vanianup]

I remember a man walking up to me in Birmingham one day and informing me that the bus is cancelled and then we walked together to the next stop and informed people there. It really was an imaginary bus for next four stops. British are the cutest and most gentlemanly devils.

[@pinkmagicali]

He did a skit about this. The bus was cancelled because of snow.

[@JesusIsLord105]

​@@pinkmagicali The CHAOS of the snow

[@adamcraig3339]

Love how he walks rapidly across the stage all the time 😂

[@PotsAndPans25]

Omg ya the poor lighting people😂

[@myriamguns2162]

@@PotsAndPans25 Keeps Michael fit though. And maybe the lighting people enjoy the challenge 😀

[@auntheidi9389]

I'm surprised he has a weight problem with how manic he is on stage.

[@ANTONBLAKE-COX]

Nobody: Michael: do you know Sainsbury's? YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

[@irfanzone4025]

Turn on the caption and it will be "satan brief's"😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@vanessaholden1575]

Omg I didn't have captions on but I did hear Satan's Briefs! 😂😂😂

[@dodgingpineapples90]

@Vanessa Holden , me, too!!! 😂

[@sharonmullins1957]

@@irfanzone4025 I think the caption is incorrect. There is a Satan's Breeze in North London.

[@Lady_Tee15]

🤣🤣🤣

[@lubom5540]

Michael is truly one of the best there is in this line of work, haven't laughed so hard in a while well done Michael

[@chloehumble8256]

Everything he say is true😂

[@trissethomsen]

By far the most hilarious man on earth! He’s quite loveable and never obscene. I’m in awe of him. He brightens up my days! Thank you Michael McIntyre! 💕💕💕

[@littlebean2528]

this guy can make anything funny😂

[@queenbean6922]

He makes the most mundane things funny

[@amcadam26]

@@octaviussludberry9016 then why are you here?

[@samcooke343]

@@octaviussludberry9016 How can anyone NOT like boiled vegetables and vanilla ice cream?!

[@casim8842]

The comedic equivalent of McDonalds.

[@flamingpieherman9822]

@@octaviussludberry9016 I'm a tiramisu kind of person...

[@lourie_01]

I guess I like boiled veggies and vanilla ice cream.

[@WyomingParanormal]

Michael is so freaking funny. So much fun to watch and listen to.

[@karencurtis2697]

This has become my addiction, as soon as I see the notification I have to stop everything and watch . Never fails to make me happy xx Take care everyone 😉

[@lynnteasdale1207]

Karen Curtis me too!

[@karencurtis2697]

Lynn Teasdale he just makes me smile 😁

[@ihaveliterallynoname]

I Hope you’re safe from the virus, and I hope his comedy is getting you through it (:

[@karencurtis2697]

MW Productions were ok so far numbers getting a little worrisome but laughing helps Stay safe stay well

[@cmnkrr3167]

Michael McIntyre is a national Gem😍

[@flamingpieherman9822]

Yes need to make a national treasure!!

[@Techniciansbrewery]

Correction: International gem ;)

[@annsmith9196]

Send those bus drivers over here to Canada, we will teach them how to drive in the snow! 8 seconds haha

[@adavelaar]

I was thinking the same. We get 25cm of snow overnight and are still taking the bus or driving to work.

[@maddykrieg222]

@@adavelaar 2 feet.....?

[@kyramainer3315]

Not to Vancouver, no one knows to drive in a few inches of snow here XD

[@Clothmom1]

I live in the Seattle area of the United States which has a similar climate to London. I grew up in the Midwest so I know hard core snow. Let me tell you that in our climate with the paltry or nonexistent snow-removal equipment that the government agencies have is utter chaos! It rains on the snow, the snow isn’t removed, it forms a hopelessly deep slushy mess that is nearly impossible to drive in without a four-wheel drive vehicle or at least snow tires. Nobody is going to buy and put on snow tires or chains for 3 days of snow each year. Last year the children didn’t do to school for 2 weeks in February. Ugh!!!

[@silvanaworrall8716]

It's not the drivers so much as the buses themselves breakdown and the sheer lack of equipment to clear the roads

[@michael43567]

As a weekly train taker, I relate to this so much. All of us on the platform try to predict where one of the doors is going to stop. Most of the time I'm in between 2 doors & I have to try to decide which is closer lol

[@dollyharini7281]

I have been watching most of his clips on KZbin and I must say this comes on second best performance of his. first and most hilarious one is the dentist visit!

[@pinkmagicali]

My two favs are glasses and spices. 😊

[@flamingpieherman9822]

I'm not an English person I'm an American but I've been there several times I know exactly what he's talking about cannot stop laughing!

[@suzannelindsay2247]

Go Michael! What a gift to come into our homes and make us laugh. You often make my day. Thanks❤👍🏻

[@brendatrujillo2666]

Most hilarious comedian I’ve heard in decades. Love it!

[@TheRoxen92]

omg he really does have a gift! I love his little laugh at his own jokes ;) he really can make comedy about anything. The best thing is that he talks about something relatable. Like the whole time you laugh and think “omg it’s true” 😂😂😂😂

[@s_vlog1018]

Hello everyone, it’s 7:54 in the morning and I have come on this to see Michael McIntyre run across the stage and make jokes about public transport! Nice! Lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@RitzyCupcake]

Omg everything he says is pure gold!

[@chrisrobinson9065]

Agreed.....but he speaks too quickly sometimes.

[@leeh5812]

The walking bus story is hilarious 😂😂

[@joannecastille6468]

My favourite too 😂

[@marcusrakyat8891]

Love Michael show for very long time. Always have fresh idea on his joke.

[@Alienisadj]

I'm from sweden and have visited london twice and just love it. The tube, i can just totally agree :D But the best thing is when you hear your own language is spoken somewhere in the tube carriage... and you see a couple talking swedish... and you asking them : "ah, from sweden... where in sweden and so on..." in swedish... it is an awkward smalltalk but funny :D

[@larawabsie]

Alienisadj I love Sweden!!!

[@cyansloth1763]

I love Sweden and I love Svenska. The first time I heard Robyn Carlsson interviewing in Swedish I fell in love with the language and now I learn it with Duolingo ❤️ Jag älskar

[@christinesharland8478]

I'm sure this works in every language.........trying to figure out if you know where they live But why............ who knows ??! Maybe in the sea of strangers we want to find someone who has something in common.......

[@joperhop]

Ah sweden, where? Where? Do you know IKEA?

[@carolynworthington8996]

Alienisadj I would love to overhear that conversation!

[@rc_p5192]

Imaginary bus is probably the best bit I’ve ever heard 😭

[@vampirequeen017]

Michaels laugh/giggle is adorable XD his wife is soooo lucky.

[@007one]

NOBODY NEEDS TO GO HOME THIS BADLY 🤣

[@Symbol-of-Hope]

This guy is just the BEST comedian EVER!

[@xueyizhou7926]

The bus joke just killed me. He is soooo funny!!

[@hc8843]

I found him this year. So glad I did. Lots to watch! I feel lucky 😁😁😁

[@marlene-rr2ih]

Michael McIntyre is my favorite, funniest, smartest comedian of all time!

[@vivienneoneill5400]

I agree he is great.❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@emmas5000]

The way he describes the tube is so funny. I remember those crazy days pre pandemic. It was mental but getting dangerous. Something had to reset somewhere

[@virginieb20]

“I’d love to chat but this is my stop” 🤣🤣🤣

[@lenaroma320]

I have a long list of things I should be doing but instead I've been sucked into binge watching his videos for the last 2hrs lol.

[@claudiap.53]

I don't really like most comedians but thanks to Facebook's recommendation I'm here. He's great. Greetings from Germany 👍

[@shimashimmer5081]

Bless his heart for making such genius jokes and comedy

[@jackywong2656]

Thank you Michael, for always making me happy :)

[@louisgeorge4467]

Michael: it should be one in one out Covid-19: I got you bro

[@aviadeloi498]

Exactly what I was thinking XD

[@gsue33]

Every day I enjoy his jokes over and over.

[@deborahdanielson8901]

During ever extending quarantine, this guy has been a sanity saver; thanks for the laughs🎉😂😂

[@cyndianderson7056]

I remember I was on a bus once, years ago. I was trying to get off, avoiding arms, legs, baby carriages, and accidentally smacked a woman in the head. 😬😳" I'm so sorry, ma'am!" I ran off the bus like the hounds of hell were chasing me. Lol.

[@j2m3_raiden5]

Gotta love rush hour.

[@Cariad22]

I love the description of group thought it's hilariously accurate 😂

[@chesterlester5770]

Went to one of Michael’s shows which didn’t feature on TV, looking around at the arena excited to see him in real life but didn’t realise I was sitting next to my Headteacher and sat through the show in an awkward but enjoyable way 😂

[@brookwilliams9448]

Thank you Michael for giving me my laughter back.

[@user-bg3nr7we9v]

Thank You What a gift.

[@lee-annebarrett366]

Hysterical. I used to get that reaction in Earls Court pubs aka kangaroo valley in the 1970s about where l came from in Australia by Australians

[@janespurgeon3658]

Makes me laugh every time ❤

[@stevenponte6655]

Oh man this came out the month I moved to London. It was so funny. I have been a fan every since.😊

[@myapinion7532]

I think it's his very posh accent that makes his style so good. Very funny, very likeable guy.

[@Ron.S.]

It’s unbelievable that his jokes about real life trivial things are funnier than made up story jokes like the last one

[@allyd-moon2875]

It's not made up, that kind of thing actually happens 😂😂

[@marywood8794]

It's a nice break from politics...especially this year!

[@ivanolsen7966]

4:11 ...a woman overflowed ........... HYSTERICAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@noah-jw1nk]

michael says the simplest things and it’s funny

[@susanjohnson9795]

He just slays me and it. Thinks outloud and lets our everyday thoughts come to life. Also USA

[@steveshuffle]

This his first major appearance that made him, rightly so, famous!

[@elvinadhludhlu5380]

Noooo, Where's the flapping haiiirrr???

[@aspiknf]

Maybe he’s an illuminati clone

[@MystiqueHorizon]

He's too young. Lol

[@cynthiajoeverett5798]

Thank you. You are hilarious. So good to laugh out loud.

[@tomhogan3843]

I kept laughing at that last one for a good 2 minutes after the video ended!

[@87654321j]

I have to admit I'm the same with the doors on the train also he does a great train noise lol 🚉

[@lucasaaglansk]

That buss story killed me, I bursted out in laughter!

[@cisium1184]

The bus bit is brilliant.

[@sc882tt]

Walking behind the bus driver 😂😂

[@TheDJHoller]

The last sketch would have made a good story for "Would I Lie To You?"

[@riskie2773]

This guy turned mayhem in London into a heaven😂

[@theepebble214]

when he said "he took the hit" I lost it, i cant breathe, my ribs hurt

[@valzvinyatskovsky393]

Spotlight operators must be having a blast

[@Creativetruths]

I remember being around 18, taking the bus to go to school and being used to standing up since it was always so full. Suddenly, the bus driver gets into a corner way to fast, and i know, standing in the middle of the bus in the back, nothing to hang on too , I was surely going to go down. I then, screamed to my friend, « Give me the finger » instead of saying, please give me your hand! Let’s say everyone in the bus, was laughing real hard! 40 years later, she still laughs at me when we talk about it. 😂😂😂

[@dennismartin2407]

Michael McIntyre best comedian around.

[@8888-9]

Billy Connolly and now, for me, this amazingly hilarious guy!

[@sitijones2582]

The imaginary bus is hilarious!!!!

[@helenj2064]

Was it Dan Howell who got his head stuck in the train 😂😂

[@Amradye]

Bless your funny heart!

[@luminair11]

Brilliant comedy....love MM!!!! ♥

[@Sarafara7]

I was dying after the first 30 seconds LOL

[@shape-shiftingcatandhermin2508]

😂😂😂😂😂 Michael is one of the most genuinely funny people out there, doesn't need to fill his act with profanity & toilet humour to get a laugh like half the so called comedians out there..........yes I mean you Jimmy yaaaawn Carr 😑😑😤

[@oakstrong1]

Michael learnt what a walking bus is: lots of school children go to school with it. 😃

[@Nana-vi4rd]

I love your comic style, wish I could see one of your shows in person. Unfortunately I live in Erwin Tennessee in the U.S.. And I live on Social Security which isn't very much, just barely enough to pay my bills. Nothing for extras like going to a movie or a comic show. Thanks for uploading bits of your shows. If I'm feel down, I watch one of your videos and am laughing and happy once again. Thank you so much, God Bless you and yours.

[@zacleeson2015]

And in the north... we have new trains with less seats for the comfort of passengers haha!

[@rewrose2838]

I was laughing so hard it actually hurts😂

[@rakheimbarrowes5925]

4:37 whoever plays smite. He sounded like when the default voice pack says “ Save yourself”

[@hamir712]

The bus one was on point and he made me hilarious. Unfortunately this exactly happens when it snows. Mind you it rarely snows here in England and when it does everything is lockoffffff

[@lee-annebarrett366]

His humour is helping me through some pretty tough times. After 40 yeaes of marriage my husband has become suddenly and seriously sick and wont becoming home. So many memories are come flooding in and the tears are just streaming down everyday.

[@ivanolsen7966]

4:11 one woman overflowed...(trying to type while chuckling) LOL x 100

[@28highlife]

You're too much Michael 😂

[@mysticmayhem5407]

the walking bus gets me laughing in tears everytime... 🤣

[@emmahayward7668]

I guess when you go up north things change COMPLETELY! STORYTIME: Me and my mum were trying to get on a train in Newcastle but it was full so we almost gave up but then in one carriage this random guy was shouting ‘move back! Let these women on’ and we ended up getting on the train and it was VERY SQUISHED. No-one was reading, everyone was talking about the footy match even if they didn’t know each other (probably cuz there was a Newcastle match and they won). Me and my mum stood there kinda awkwardly as we don’t support Newcastle but Geordies seem like friendly people, one even got up of his seat to let me have instead :)

[@sammyryan8161]

I’m in my favourite city of them all --!!!!

[@agnescleary2312]

Whereabouts,whereabouts, whereabouts!!!! LOL...NYC same!

[@kenpole1840]

A worthy successor to Robin Williams, who forever shall be missed.

[@Bromhildy]

I lived in Muswell Hill. And I worked in Sainsburys. Like 40 years ago. Lol.

[@mariangeerling2950]

Oh my stars, Michael, come to Canada! We'll teach you about snow! And buses during snow storms! 😂

[@pendolino_pete4621]

Yes sooooo relatable

[@allylou8514]

Michael brilliant 😁 💖👍

[@neonskyline1]

British People and snow, it's astounding. The three funniest People i've ever seen are Michael, George Carlin and Chris Rock, it doesn't get better, Britain however has the funniest humour in general

[@marklipner2325]

How is he so funny! I listen to him instead of tv 📺! 😂🤣

[@kayhaven4710]

Had to deal with the same shit today on the public bus.

[@kan0762]

Can't believe no one helped the guy that got hit by the train doors ..💀

[@CleanTeamSolutions]

It's London. Unfortunately most have forgotten what it's like to help a total stranger.

[@kan0762]

@@CleanTeamSolutions ya that's sad to hear

[@cawiltu]

Londoners were equally rude 62 years ago when I was 13 and visited there

[@tazask7269]

@SEAN INGRAM urrmmm Sean you stood alone except for the millions of common wealth soldiers (Indian Subcontinent, Africa, Australia, New Zealand etc) and the Soviet Union!!!!!!

[@mjjacobsen7529]

😂ahaa haa👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻brilliant nearly peed myself 🤣coffee ☕️came out my nose😆from laughing.....your awesome Michael 👍🏼👍🏼

[@sharonmullins1957]

"The run up", and the entire bus stop. Where did he get that processing ability? I watch 1 of his videos - sure he can't top it, and then he does. I am laughing so hard, my stomach hurts - and this is the 2nd time I watched it.