Why some don't want to quit self harm | Selfharmerproblems

[@elizabethjacobsen7647]

i'm mostly scared to stop because i don't want people to think that my self harm never actually affected me. i don't want to invalidate all the pain i've gone through by stopping.

[@happydonut2631]

Your pain is valid 🥺

[@tomofekshlomai7706]

I miss self harm, I also miss smoking and I also miss drinking. do I think those things are good for me? Hell no but they helped me cope and now I'm alone without them

[@meganhardy6983]

I feel this so much. Except alcohol mine was opiates.

[@kirap4476]

I also

[@kirap4476]

@@meganhardy6983 my anniversary is November 1

[@Mwah77]

I don't want to stop because it is a coping mechanism and my go to thing. I can't stop even if I wanted to

[@chatmarie3381]

Thank you for making this xx Everybody thinks I'm self-harming for attention but it's just the only way I can cope with the pain and I like the feeling. You're my inspiration xx

[@honkmimimimii]

I'm scared to stop because I feel like it's part of my daily routine. even if I don't particularly feel like self harming that day, I do it just so that I can keep the routine. I don't wanna know what it'd feel like to not do it everyday. it's the only thing that I can easily keep a pattern of doing, even basic hygiene is too much for me.

[@the_divinezer042]

I’m just over 50 days clean and I don’t want to be clean. I want to do it so bad, but I don’t because of a lot of things. Life rly do be shit doe🍋🧈

[@boardingurban]

How did you manage?

[@the_divinezer042]

@@boardingurban rn I’m just about 70 days and it’s bc my parents and therapists. They hold me accountable and I don’t wanna have to tell them I did it. Also it kinda grosses me out to sh

[@boardingurban]

@@the_divinezer042 cool!! keep it up! i'm 2 days in

[@user-nu8xi4sl1e]

Half of the reason I don't want to stop is because I'm afraid if i do, people will stop caring about me. They'll go back to ignoring and treating me like an invisible wall. The other half of the reason is because I always get a type of relief after doing it. Like some of my mental and emotional pain is now visible. It helps, A lot.

[@chesneywipperman339]

I miss self harm as well it’s so hard to quit self harm

[@emowo9328]

I don’t wanna stop(at least for now) bc I like the cuts, the blood and the scars, even tho I hate it, I love them, they make me feel better in some way

[@bibsss]

i was one year clean before relapsing on march and then again yesterday, but ur videos have been really helpful especially the baby cut syndrome one. i always compare myself to others and how my self harm isn't 'bad enough' for me to seek help yet but im slowly trying to change that before it gets too bad. ur channel is so necessary, keep up the great content!!!!

[@GUROBOY..]

When I was little I was so scared, but now that I’m older I know how to break the stuff down and get my blade, it’s thin so it doesn’t hurt anymore, but it’s unhealthy. To save yourself don’t ever start if you didn’t yet

[@thebikeguy-t7k]

wether we want to know it or not ..... self harm is an addiction. I started harming ar 12 and stopped when I got into substance abuse. Now that I am clean , my self harm came back as a cross addiction worse than before

[@empathnation5433]

Thank you, sweet girl.

[@crowthecryptid6508]

yesterday, 6th of october, was one year since the first time i’ve self harmed, i relapsed recently and i wanted yesterday to be the last time, but i can’t, i’m not strong enough right now, i know i can make it, but right now, i just can’t edit: i’m almost a month clean and i’m pretty proud of myself since i got broken up with recently and my mental health is kinda crappy atm but i’m getting through it and coping in healthier ways

[@Selfharmerproblems]

I know it can be so hard but you can do it ! Reach out for professional help and to loved ones

[@soleil5607]

You can.

[@soleil5607]

You will.

[@misakiyagami1158]

Same. I am here after relapsing. I have self-harmed recently. I was 2years clean. Now I do not know if I should stop or start again. I am back in the cycle that was mentioned in the video. Stop or do it even more.

[@nagititz223]

damn i’m self harm and two of my closest friends found out and they wanted to help me. The first one reacted just fine she wanted to help me but the second one... damn he reacted in a very toxic way and i understand that. I’ve been doing this for a year and my mom reacted in the same way. She thought that i stopped self harming so now she doesn’t know. Back to my friend. So he reacted by yelling at me and getting angry so he gave me a choice drop it or losing him. I was devastated it made me want to self harm even more. My wounds never looked so bad in my whole life. His behavior towards me changed as well. He seemed so cold and not caring almost as if he hated me. Thankfully my first friend told me that she will search for help like a therapy online or something. I could never thank someone so much like omg she has done so much for me. She cared and was with me when i needed. I trusted her enough to tell her that i was bullied for self harming throughout last school year. I’m glad that i’m alive now because i tried to end it all... When i told him that she found help he said oh nice i i’m glad and told me to better be grateful and that was all... i don’t know if we should be friends anymore. He used to be so caring and warm but know it’s like a total opposite. I felt like he left me when i needed him the most. But i’m in the new begging thanks to her. Thanks to your video now i know why i self harm Thank you so much

[@alextuohy861]

the only self harm specific support group i've seen was a 12-step program, which i'm sure is helpful for some people, but i really don't feel comfortable with the religious aspects of that. there definitely needs to be more options out there

[@Selfharmerproblems]

There's SIRA that exists if you're interested!

[@alextuohy861]

@@Selfharmerproblems oh i think that was the group i saw. i was really tired when i was looking at their website and saw the 12 steps listed in their resources page and misunderstood why it was there. i agree with their other principles, i might have to look into it more

[@Anonymous-tz5ue]

I have heard before that with addiction if you wait for your self-harm or eating disorder etc. to give you permission to get help then you never will. You have to take that step

[@gabbyt2873]

Self harm to *me* can be one of the two 1-it's mental/emotional pain into physical pain 2- it's to remind myself that I'm still alive since I can bleed

[@nisa-vn3er]

The 2nd one doesn’t really make sense to me

[@BowAndAro]

@@nisa-vn3er idk about the person who wrote this but for me (i'm bipolar) when go through something hard I often go into an manic episode. When I am in a manic episode it feels like the world isn't real and that I don't really exist. So nothing can hurt me, right? Because nothing is real. It feels like I'm lucid dreaming but it's actually real life. This makes me do really stupid stuff that can ruin me, the people aroud me and generally my whole life. So, when I self harm in this episode of my life it's kinda like pinching yourself to see if your dreaming in a sense. It makes me remember that life is real, I am real and the stuff I do is real. Although it isnt healthy or a smart thing to do, it helps me from doing potentially "worse" and more dangerous things. Also I know a lot of people who arent bipolar who feels like this, like nothing is really real, when they are in a depressive state. So again it's like pinching yourself to know and remeber that you're awake and not dreaming. (I apologise if I made any spelling errors, english isnt my first language pluss I'm dyslexic)

[@nisa-vn3er]

@@BowAndAro oh okay thanks for sharing hope it gets better for you!

[@jan-seli]

It was my only coping mechanism, as harmful as it is, it did help with what I needed it to. There was long period where I knew quitting would be for the best, but I simply wasn't ready to give it up, I had to cultivate other coping mechanisms first.

[@romanmindset-r2j]

Before my stroke i could fight selfharm with playing guitar to me it was the one thing no one could take away then the stroke for the time i was in hospital i had my gf with me nearly everyday then that fell apart badly now i have nothing no guitar no gf no friends i cant leave my house due to damages of the stroke i cant use my left hand and stuck living with an abusive mother fighting self harm at this point is like being naked an unarmed fighting a gladiator

[@kittykatt8092]

It's a hard life, I can understand that. It's horrible and life can seem unfair. I hope you recover and find happiness at some point ❤️❤️

[@romanmindset-r2j]

@@kittykatt8092 thank you

[@soleil5607]

I love you you are amazing and you are so worthy and precious and beautiful and inspiring and strong and brave You are one of the strongest people ever even if I don't know you but I care about so much please get better I don't want to see you do it again

[@romanmindset-r2j]

@@soleil5607 thank you x

[@piney_studios]

Gary Millar I’m 12 and I cut and self harm due to very toxic parents. You’re strong. I know it’s hard, but it’s going to be ok trust me.

[@bandiedkawaii5931]

the thumbnail and the title itself is so relatable

[@sabrinaalexandra9902]

Thankyou for this video. I was over a year clean until i relapsed last year december but now it's getting worse. But I don't want to quit. I don't want to stop. I want to keep doing it.😔

[@victoriageren5513]

Thank you so much for addressing this topic, I feel like this is absolutely one of the hardest parts of self harm to talk about and to admit especially because of the fear of people judging us based on that alone. Your videos are making an impact for people like me that haven't been able to find the words to explain a lot of the things I've gone through while trying to recover from self harm, so thank you!

[@rebeccaljarrellbeckywoods8091]

❤@Selfharmerproblems, thank you so much for making these videos for everyone 😂 I love your videos so so much! I hope you add more videos! ❤😂🎉😮😅😊

[@laurawakai2607]

I feel that it's the only thing that it's always there for me... The only thing that can't leave me.. Sometimes I go out with people and they hurt me, so when I'm with them I keep thinking that my blades are waiting for me at home.. and it's weird but it helps me to go through..

[@astrid_sfrt4324]

thank you, this was really helpful! Sometimes I don't even know myself why it's so hard to stop, but seeing it like any addiction really opened my eyes

[@bethanystuart614]

I've been clean for some months (I lost count) but I always wish I never had, I miss it so much and think about it almost every day

[@shaulinmatadordeporco8655]

i dont wanna stop self harming, it its my best friend, the only thing that makes me feel happy, its almost a year i was diagnised with depression and anxiety but i dont want to get better.

[@apoet-y6c]

I'm currently writing a poem about this. It's about the relationship I have with a character called Nessie -- the personification of my NSSI -- where she abuses me but I still feel comforted by the relationship. I'm terrified of stopping.

[@bbybih3893]

I guess the reason I haven't stopped is because I really don't want to stop. I have tried to quit a few times but never works I get to 3 months and then I relapse, once I got to 6 months but I relapsed after a little inconvenience, I just felt so upset that I stopped trying. I am really planning to try again to recover this time

[@kirap4476]

Wow 👏 this really helped me out tonight. I'm struggling to return back this year. My anniversary is November 1 and i am sad normal. I was really happy with it but it was what you said. "It will destroy you". It's weird but very true

[@isabroncosfan]

I want to stop but i also don't want to if that makes sense

[@nishanacht]

This is 4 years old but somehow popped up… but yes this is it. My eating disorder is my best friend, my most important and reliable relationship. I’m in rehab for it… and I can’t believe how hard I’m fighting to keep it. I’m terrified but… the non-ED part of me is not letting me give up. So that’s good I think✨

[@rebeccaljarrellbeckywoods8091]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@Kaito-xj1te]

i have told my parents about 2 months into addiction and im not going to lie i regret it. my dad says its just the devil so he is forcing me to go yo church, and whenever my parents believe i self harm they act as if they are angry at me and i cant stand it. it’s the most difficult because i dont want to stop because i feel like people think i do it for attention and ive never thought my reason was valid and its obvious other people dont think so either, which makes me want to do it even more.

[@senselesschiId]

Everyone assumes it's for attention 😔 Theres so many reasons not to stop,

[@labbrockington7854]

So very true so many reasons not to stop so many im sorry your struggling with self harming, there are so many things that qualify to be called self harming because people see the outside only if they only knew what they dont see

[@a.a1562]

this feeling is what drove me back to self harming not too long ago. and although i feel so bad for falling back into this unhealthy coping mechanism part of me feels relieved and happy that i finally have my “bestfriend” with me. also relating to the end of the video, i feel like seeing my scars fade is what triggered this feeling of not wanting to let go you know? (this is just my personal experience)

[@lillibear69]

the whole reason I started was to punish myself. when people give me alternatives it just doesn't work. those alternatives are for pain. I do so it for pain, but the punishing aspect isn't there. I'm not actually hurting myself by an ice cube or a rubber band.

[@pandabytes4991]

Every time I "try" stopping, I end up in the hospital. Then I get angry at my situation and relapse inside the hospital. So far, I've unfortunately spent about two thirds of my life fighting this terrible addiction.

[@noelleuwu1776]

Yea I’ve tried quitting and I can stop for like 2 days but then I always do it again

[@jordanherrmann1145]

I absolutely love this. I also agree that self harm support groups could be beneficial. I haven't found any in my area, but what I found instead was SMART recovery. It's open to any sort of problem/addictive substance/behavior. I've been going for a little over a year, and there are people from every walk of life, many of whom have crossover behaviors/addictions/coping skills- including self harm. It's been an absolute blessing for me. We talk about different coping skills pulled from CBT, DBT, and RBT therapies. We help and support each other in meeting, and have ways to reach out to each other in times of crisis. I'm not sure if it's in every country, but I do know that is is available across many countries around the globe. There are both in person and online meetings, and with covid19, many of the in person meetings have temporarily moved online as well. Like AA or NA, it is free with the option for donations, so if you don't have a lot of money or insurance, that isn't a worry.

[@alsy6813]

If I don't self-harm, then I am fine. Then I don't feel anything bad. Then I'm just trying to manipulate mother, and don't deserve help. If I stop self-harm, then I should be happy, and what if I'm not?

[@vjnt1star]

why am I watching self harm videos ?

[@boardingurban]

why not? awareness

[@kenr7997]

the only reason i kinda wanna stop rn is cuz my mom almost found out last night and I'm terrified of how she would react if she did lolz

[@juniperberries9437]

9:30 you should make a support group chat on your Instagram

[@wiliamarg]

I didn’t want to stop but my mum would yell and scream at me if she saw the scars so-

[@niamhhmcu7613]

I’m currently 57 days clean and I hit 100 days on my birthday. I’m planning to relapse the day after because the urges are too much :)

[@simplykatexo2504]

i know how it feels to feel attatched to your blades