Nessa Barrett ON How To Deal With Loneliness & Heal After A Breakup

I am so happy to welcome TikTok star-turned-singer, Nessa Barrett, to the podcast. After being named as one of Billboard’s “21 Under 21” twice and People Magazine’s “Emerging Artist List” - Nessa has gone on to accumulate more than 1.4 billion global streams to date.
Nessa opens up about her current struggles with loneliness, mental health, and an eating disorder. We will hear her deep thoughts and meaningful words about navigating a difficult breakup, recovering from codependency, and finding self-love amidst self-criticism. We will uncover the transformative power of love, both for ourselves and others.
If you’re struggling with loneliness or need guidance on how to heal after a breakup watch this!
In this conversation with Nessa Barrett, we discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:16 Running Away From Home
02:35 Overcoming Fear & Taking Risks
05:25 How To Deal With Bullying
07:24 Healing Your Relationships With Family
09:42 Struggling With Loneliness
14:25 Struggling With An Eating Disorder
28:50 Navigating A Public Breakup
33:01 What Are The Eight Stages Of A Breakup?
34:20 The Hardest Stage Of A Breakup
36:28 Recovering From Codependency
38:09 Post-Breakup Lessons
40:24 Healing & Finding Love Again
43:54 How To Practice Self-Love
48:03 What Is A Burn Box?
51:41 Using Music To Be A Voice For The Voiceless
54:36 The Importance Of Being Honest & Vulnerable
58:40 Nessa On Final Five
Episode Resources:
Nessa Barrett | / nessabarrett
Nessa Barrett | / @nessabarrett
Nessa Barrett | / nessaabarrett
Nessa Barrett | / nessabarrett
Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getti...

[@JayShettyPodcast.]

What is your post-breakup advice?

[@jupiterjanes]

Make sure you are comfortable being alone before you look for anyone else to add to your mix again. A true appreciation for solitude and alone time is a powerful thing. Having a strong sense of self and self love makes it easier to not settle for things that don't align with your values. Thanks again, Jay, another wonderful conversation, wonderful guest and advice 🙏❤️

[@sweetangel83rc]

Set yourself a time to cry it, talk about, scream about….after that fix your face and be the boss you know that your are and they lost. 🫶🏼🫂

[@Isabellamaryrusso]

Spend time loving yourself and with loved ones. Go on adventures, delve into your hobbies and find new ones. Explore new experiences, give love to others and be kind to yourself. With time you will heal ❤

[@latifakisampa5526]

The first step is to acknowledge that the relationship has ended. It is difficult, but tell yourself as much as you need to. Give yourself some grace, do not blame yourself (you can accept responsibility if you were the cause of the breakup or did something that caused the relationship to crumble), and wish things had turned out differently. Move forward after appreciating the relationship. Moving forward by allowing yourself to love and be loved, and above all, by loving yourself. Allow yourself time alone to assess what you want in a relationship and to consider what you will and will not compromise on.

[@itsantonioparker]

Don’t go back to what made you leave in the 1st part.

[@Just_a_Nobody00]

For those feeling lonely, know that you are not alone.

[@4lyssening]

🥺🫶🏼

[@louiskwizera]

How so?

[@TonyStark-xz2nd]

Jesus❤

[@louiskwizera]

@@TonyStark-xz2nd I just wish I had everything to make him proud

[@outtamykk1874]

​@@louiskwizera The thing with God is that you don't need anything. You just need to run to him. His love is unconditional and nothing you do would make him see you as worthless. You are his masterpiece.

[@blondie4lyfe245]

"A voice for the voiceless" that is exactly how I would explain Nessa's music!

[@DanielRodgers-vc6xb]

Oh yes thought i was the only one that think about that

[@Lily-cx1vo]

She ran away as a survival mechanism. She was afraid she was going to die. Maybe not physically, but in every way that mattered to her.

[@StaceyABerger]

And she made her own opportunities. So much respect for that

[@sallyb4766]

Nessa is so insightful for her age, very articulate, and gifted with expression. I listened to this podcast on my morning walk, and I had to repeat certain parts.

[@DanielRodgers-vc6xb]

Yes she is so amazing

[@Ease.your.mind.]

This was a great interview. I didn't know much about nessa or her music but this showed a lot about her. She is such an intelligent young woman that grew up fast. It amazes me how in tuned with her emotions she is, and how fast her mind works. She is so young yet so connected with herself I've been binge watching episodes and this is one of my favorites

[@JayShettyPodcast.]

So glad you enjoyed the interview! Nessa is amazing.

[@PianoHits]

Nessa looks younger than her years but speaks decades wiser, i hope people listen to her and not understimate some very well spoken points on self awareness

[@aileenmaldonado7778]

nessa has shown a lot of growth since when she started doing social media this definitely made me an official nessa barrett fan I adore her, I wish nothing but blessings towards her she has gone through so much for just a 20 year old

[@ivahelf4077]

I enjoyed this interview so much. I am trying to recover from a 35-year marriage breakup, and it touched my soul! Who said young people can not teach you a thing or two!!! Thank you NESSA!!! GOD Bless!😢😊❤

[@StaceyABerger]

So many beautiful lessons from every walk of life. So much love as you are navigating your own new path.

[@csjobson7763]

No but same! I’m 36 and I’m listening to this!! 🥲

[@briangaita4169]

Who initiated the break-up?

[@westtgrace]

Thank you for having Nessa on the podcast, she’s so strong

[@JayShettyPodcast.]

Agreed!

[@DanielRodgers-vc6xb]

Oh yes she is love hearing from her

[@allisonpitstick8313]

Nessa checks every box for me as an artist. Her music is the words I think but cannot write on paper. The perspective and views on life she now has is incredible and makes me so proud. It's so cool to see me in such a cool artist. Makes me feel more comfortable and less alone with my BPD through her music. A blessed soul

[@duke2duke28]

my love & respect for nessa grows more & more each time i hear her speak. she’s such a light to our generation & world. i’ve seen her twice in concert (yay burn box) & have met her once, which have impacted me forever. truly a gem to our society & i wish nothing but the best for her. thank you for having her on

[@DanielRodgers-vc6xb]

Oh yes likewise me

[@carabaye]

the fact that she’s so open about her struggles especially with anorexia it’s so hard for someone to come out and say they have that and that’s why they’ve lost weight not like many people in LA who just wanna be skinny and consider it the standard

[@DanielRodgers-vc6xb]

Oh yes she is such a great

[@AlexandrasGirlyTalk]

Awww 🥰 Amazing interview

[@JayShettyPodcast.]

Thank you!!

[@jupiterjanes]

So much wisdom for such a young woman, love to see it, really loving this episode! Thanks to you both 🙏❤️

[@ArylaMoran]

wait i remember u

[@marianalover69]

omg i love your videos😆

[@grannyronna]

I love this interview as well! No matter what challenges we face, we need to have the courage to overcome all these.

[@cassandrabosworth6820]

I’m 20 and I also struggle with my body and she explained exactly how I feel. Even talking about the words you use, my mom told me a few days ago I look healthier and more fuller than before and since then I’ve just been spiraling thinking about those words “healthy” and “fuller” making me change my ‘healthy’ trajectory. I’ve been staring at my food labels and I felt crazy. I’m just glad I’m not going through these things alone, and there must be so many other people going through this. I’m getting the help I need btw so it’s ok, I really am trying.

[@uhhwhateva6446]

omgg this felt so open, honest and real. this interview felt like a warm hug i will always love nessa’s honesty and vulnerability it makes me feel so seen and connected and jay’s insight on the things she says it just felt like such a genuine conversation 🤍

[@audacein5063]

Love her vulnerability and her honesty ❤ Thank you

[@atirarasidin9696]

she grown so much. i remembered saw her first ever interview. forever proud of her

[@AberdeenCyrus225]

Blown away by her self awareness and all that she has been through ❤

[@Golgibaby]

Clarity is like a breath of fresh air. This is why conversation, even if it feels confusing, can be healing. Thank you for the clarity.

[@vanessaocampo7460]

Thank you Jay and thank you to your team for having nessa and all of these amazing creators. I’m almost in tears thank you for all you do and all of this , I’m feeling so greatful❤️❤️❤️

[@savannahhaines704]

thank u so much for having ness on the podcast, she has helped so many of us and she is so strong.

[@rhiarnestrickland3651]

Thank you for having Nessa and thank you Nessa hearing you talk about your eating disorder helps me so much, to know that someone know exactly what I'm going through

[@Rita-wv2xv]

this interview is so amazing. I'll def watch it twice a week from now ahah so comforting i'll forever love nessa

[@rosex4207]

i love this sm. i’ve been dealing w anorexia since i was 11 years old ,, it’s nice to have someone speaking up a. the issue without denying it

[@YusufElias751]

nessa barret shows that struggles are real in life & with strong willpower we can get through this!

[@kahvyuhh]

This truly is a powerful interview. Hope the best for everyone in this world. You are not alone ♥️

[@alyssajackson863]

nessa is such a beautiful person inside and out, whenever I listen to her talk I will cry she has such a pure soul

[@chlo5589]

I adore this pod, i come back to it so often. As someone who suffers with an eating disorder who doesnt necessarily ‘look’ like an ed sufferer - i really appreciate nessa talking about how eating disorders dont have a look. You both expressed such empathy and genuine emotion and understanding. I truly loved this episode. Youre both so important and the way and fact that youre even talking about topics like this with such an open mind is so refreshing. 💌

[@Love.ellie.]

I love this girl with my whole heart and I’m so proud of everything she’s gotten through ❤. Thank you for letting her open up so much and being so graceful and understanding ❤️

[@pf3108]

What an amazing chat this was. Nessar - you deserve all the happiness in the world for you are a great human being. I wish you much love Jay - perfect as usual

[@dorothybennington475]

I absolutely love her music. I discovered Nessa through my daughter who is a huge fan of hers and became a huge fan myself. Her music resonates with me. She really is awesome. Can't wait to see what comes next.

[@anais_schaeffer]

This was actually my favorite podcast episode ever! I love Nessa & everything that you talked about during the interview was so instructive and accurate. Thank you for creating this safe place for her to be able to express herself honestly and help others who are struggling too.

[@peach4554]

she is doing amazing, i wish i was this self awareness. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@vanshikababbar1829]

i can relate so much to this podcast. felt so much comfort watching it 🤍

[@PamelaKaisner-wf5bx]

This interview by far is one of the best I have ever seen on jays show. She is so intelligent and mature. I do not know who she is however I will be following her and her music from this point on. Prayers going up for you young lady. Best interview. Your parents must be very proud of you.

[@girrlovesyouu]

What a beautiful interview. Nessa is so insightful for her age. Me at 21 could never sit down and have this conversation with myself let alone a interview about trauma and heartbreak. She is growing into herself and it’s beautiful to see.

[@Isabellamaryrusso]

Before this interview with Nessa, I didn’t know of her. After listening to Nessa speak, I’ve fallen in love with her heart! What a wise and mature queen 🩷 sending love. Thanks for the episode x

[@Talitha42000]

best podcast i ever watched, Nessa is just so honest and real. she really helps so many people including myself, by talking so open about her struggles with an eating disorder. it really makes me feel so understood

[@deeconradie1862]

what a beautiful, touching and warm interview! x

[@user-nh1di7vn5r]

These conversations really help me get through life sometimes, thank you.

[@rosex4207]

girly keeps giving us interviews i love it

[@ellarhett]

I love this podcast the talker is very respectful let’s the other person speaks and listens and is always super kind with his questions and answers ❤

[@destinymmarie]

This one made me cry I have a very deep connection to nessas music hearing her talk so openly and the way she is able to process understand and express and turn her struggles into beautiful art is so amazing and inspiring seeing her growth made me so emotional and proud she is such an Angel 😇

[@VG-tp9rc]

This is such a beautiful episode,very relatable in the present day world! My favourite interview so far❤❤

[@therantcommunity5863]

Love getting to know people intimately like this before actually getting to know what they do. Gives me a very special view point of their personality. Nessa is a beautiful soul. ❤

[@nathanleung5592]

Another purposeful conversation on the podcast this 2023 summer all about family relationships & self love❤🎉Keep up the great work Jay 😊

[@gabytimpe9552]

She is such a beautiful person in and out. I am so grateful to have her in my life whether she’s physically in it or not. She has such a strong voice and she’s uses it for good and I don’t see many influencers or artists advocating for it this much. Really enjoyed this podcast♥️♥️

[@jamieleewolfe]

Such a good podcast/interview. You both seem to genuine and real. Both of your voices are so calm and perfect for a podcast as well

[@LarrysLife07]

Love her energy and heart frfr 🪫💯💎

[@jocelyna476]

I love nessa so much. This was an interview I didn’t know I wanted until I clicked on the video.

[@Ingridguadarramaa]

Thank you for opening up nessa 💕 you are literally an inspiration

[@tayahj3587]

Nessa is so incredible. She has such incredible advice and is so real. I love her so much

[@erinb4596]

Such a pure heart! She is so young yet still extremely self aware. ❤❤❤

[@marisamiddleton9906]

Two beautiful humans right there ❤ thank you both! Really touched me in both topics you spoke of today

[@Ankesadventures]

That was amazing! I loved this conversation and I didn’t even know Nessa before ❤

[@user-rk9uz6go1p]

Thx sm for this deep sense interview!!! We all luv and proud of Ness and thanks to u

[@sianlouisee]

nessa is amazing. she is so strong. ❤❤

[@hp8962]

Nessa is so insightful and wise with her words. I hope to articulate my thoughts gracefully and as fast as she does someday. Everything she says blew my mind with her introspection. Love this interview! New subscriber!

[@elliecaitlin1122]

love her so much! love seeing her being so open on podcasts too🤍

[@blondie4lyfe245]

Day is made, another Nessa interview! :)

[@jetsun685]

Jay thank you for always being so wonderful and so inspirational. What i love about you is not only are you so knowledgeable and great..the importance and the way you listen to every guest is unbelievable. You are so humble. So thank you ❤❤❤

[@denisapaduraru6742]

I am happy that she is able to ask and get the help at such a young age and doesn’t need to wait a life to learn all these. I hope she breaks the stigma around going to therapy, looking for healing the inner child. ❤

[@tanyrlandis2978]

wow this interview was one of the best i’ve ever watched! i loved every minute.

[@marissarenee4123]

She has grown so much and I’m so proud of her. I hope she does get treatment soon for her E.D, she deserve calmness and peace

[@sidharthasatapathy3491]

Jay Shetty just brings so many different amazing people ❤

[@JayShettyPodcast.]

That's my goal!

[@clarice8693]

I love this girl so much and have so much respect for her.

[@koustav_18]

Much needed.... thank you so much jay for the podcast ❤

[@JayShettyPodcast.]

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[@davidwegner7403]

Wow, what an amazing interview. One of my favorites so far.

[@mila_bowers]

this is such a good interview! i love ness so much!

[@dannapaim3377]

Great interview! I feel like we need a book on the stages of a break-up/ heartbreak, would help so many people. Such a mature lady for her age ❤❤❤

[@pxmprodriguez1524]

Love this interview probably one of my favorites

[@giovannacarmos]

the way that she became more mature and well spoken is beautiful. she’s so down earthy and sincere about her mental health. keep going Nessa 🫶🏻

[@lazombie3052]

This interview was absolutely amazing! It completely blew my mind! What a beautiful human being ❤

[@bhumikagohil7841]

Thank you for having this kinda conversations,it feels so personal and relatable,watching her speak wisely and just smile and be happy throughout gives me a sense of hope !!People go through tough times but it makes them much more kinder ,wiser and mature towards situations and human beings.The way she said be vocal and honest ,i personally believe its the best help you could ask for !! Take care❤

[@mayaferrMayaferr]

if you have the opportunity to get your ex back will you get your ex back be honest

[@Snowbear2022]

I love her so much. She’s such a sweet soul

[@ZinaO.]

This was beautiful. Loved the hearing what was said.

[@alejandrasylvana805]

I love this, First, you were great i really enjoyed your energy and how you involved the conversation with nessa, u can see that she was really comfortable. And second, she is great not just as an artist but it looks like as a person she is too, i love the fact that she is honest in her process.

[@oliverrose3031]

i am so proud of her, i hope she knows how loved she really is

[@JessieRSA]

Wow, she put words to something that I knew was happening or feeling but never knew how to explain. Such a great podcast!

[@user-gx6mw5nq2q]

Nessa is so mature ; loved this interview. I am impressed with her outlook in life considering all she has been through 😍😍🥰

[@user-gx6mw5nq2q]

I had never heard of her or her music; I have now become a fan.

[@rennasremanak-le3lc]

NESSA IS A FREAKING QUEEN!!! i sturgeon with about that same thing as her and he explained things so well

[@fire12731]

Never heard of Nessa until this. Really great to watch

[@bgrohmann3378]

This young lady is absolutely delightful! She is absolutely filled with wisdom and love ❤

[@hirashahofficial]

You’re so strong and so mature at such a young age. You’re beautiful Nessa inside and out. I do listen to and watch Jay’s podcast regularly but I never really felt like I needed to comment but today I have to for you my beautiful angel Nessa. May you be happy and well.

[@braydenb35]

you are such a good interviewer. thank you for letting her speak. and not cutting in! great interview

[@MiahHolbrook]

nessa is truly so amazing!! She has saved so many people in so many ways.

[@joannaszymanski1725]

Nessa, you are an amazing human being! I listen to full podcast and enjoyed every second of it. Thank you both for sharing your wisdom and spreading love.

[@DanielRodgers-vc6xb]

Oh she's so amazing

[@user-py9fr6wj3l]

This young woman is amazing. Loved the interview.

[@raquelvega5707]

This was amazing...it brought tears

[@cccmusic]

LOVED THIS interview

[@Blue-ek8kj]

Loved the interview

[@nothingmore2974]

nessa is my favorite person ever i’m so beyond proud of her i love her sm her shows are amazing 🤍🤍🤍🤍

[@clairebearr44]

you're such an amazing interviewer ! this is an incredible video.

[@ambition112]

0:29: 🏃 At 17, the speaker ran away from home to pursue her dreams of being a singer and living in California. 6:43: 💔 The artist discusses their challenging upbringing, healing through therapy, and the loneliness they feel in the music industry. 15:04: 💔 The speaker discusses how her music is focused on her struggles and how she chooses to deal with them rather than being unhappy with her life. 22:31: ❤ The speaker discusses the challenges of performing on stage while dealing with an eating disorder and shares insights on how to support someone going through it. 28:28: 💔 Public breakups are more difficult due to the scrutiny and constant reminders, with the desperate stage being the most challenging. 36:09: 💔 The longest stage after a breakup is the recovery from codependency, where one has to learn to love themselves and enjoy their own company. 42:27: ❤ Self-love is crucial for giving love to others and finding happiness in oneself. 54:45: ✨ Being open, honest, and vulnerable is key to creating a stable support system in the music industry. 56:05: 💡 The artist values authenticity and being true to oneself in creating music, rather than chasing commercial success. 1:03:06: ❤ Nessa suggests that a law should be implemented where people are encouraged to give love and hugs to those in need, in order to combat hatred and separation in the world. Recap by Tammy AI

[@laestherminator]

She may be struggling, as most are, yet her honesty and self-awareness make her an amazing role model. Wishing her full recovery (which i know is a journey) so she can inspire many for decades to come.

[@Ciel_._]

nessa gets it, the way she say and worded her problems touchs my soul every time

[@adiosxan]

this is a great interview, you asked really good questions

[@Britney21700]

I love her so much. She is so strong

[@toasofele7301]

What a beautiful, courageous, honest, raw interview. ❤