we got too stoned on the pod again (w/ Will Witwer) | Perfect Person Ep. 60

Miles and Will bravely go where they went last year at this time, stoned on the show, beholden to the callers conundrums, giving fire advice with the power of their vape pen.
• Subscribe To The Patreon!: bit.ly/PPPTRN
-27 EXTRA MINUTES of THIS episode!
-Platinum Exclusive Episodes on Fridays
• Listen Everywhere: linktr.ee/perf...
• Follow On Insta To Call In: bit.ly/PPPodGram
•Tell a friend about the show! Tweet it! Story it! Scream it!
• Peep My Main Channel: bit.ly/MilesbonYT
• Follow @milesbon: bit.ly/MBonsta...
PERFECT PERSON
Perfect Person is a comedy call in advice show in which Webby-Award-Winning Podcast Producer, Miles Bonsignore, answers your phone calls, solves your problems, and helps you achieve maximum perfection with his talented friends.
MILES BONSIGNORE
Miles is an internet creator, comedian, and podcast producer, known for his work at The Try Guys (The TryPod), as a commentator on Pretty Much It, and on his followings on social media.
EDITOR
Rob Laltrello
-----------------------------------------------
About Headgum:
Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at www.headgum.com.
» SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: www.youtube.co...
» FOLLOW us on Twitter: / headgum
» FOLLOW us on Instagram: / headgum
» FOLLOW us on TikTok: / headgum

[@PerfectPerson]

DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code PERFECTPERSON. New customers can score TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS IN BONUS BETS INSTANTLY when they bet just FIVE dollars on college football. Kiwico - Foster brain building play with KiwiCo! Right now, get 50% off your first month - plus FREE shipping at kiwico.com, promo code PERFECTPERSON.

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

can’t believe the absolute ripping into miles for wearing a stanky shirt from the guy who showed up to the recording of episode three with a poop stain on his shorts

[@PerfectPerson]

The audacity of a man who *allegedly* shit his pants

[@yarns8117]

"a hard conversation is only hard once then afterwards you can have ice cream" is legitimately exactly what i need to go talk to my own roommate about something

[@desireeanne3129]

“We’ve been together for five months and will have been together for six months in a month.” LMFAO GIRL GO LAY DOWN

[@candy135able]

THIS KILLED ME 27:00

[@katiex3171]

the aggressive “we LOVE women on this show!!!” is killing me

[@anonymixx8106]

Its giving "i love lesbians" from rhett and link lmao

[@__iTimmayy]

I love how they wake up their sleepy caller and start going "YUUUURRRR" assuming she's high 😭 Utter chaos! Could not stop laughing this episode.

[@static2735]

it is SO refreshing to see people (especially straight guys tbh) who have a nuanced understanding of what asexuality is

[@zusuwoohoo]

I loved it when Will finally started to explain it but and then Atrium was like "wait what's my name?" Buddy, LISTEN LOL 😂

[@eeeliz]

I giggled too hard and spilled coffee on my weighted blanket. I’m going to sue Perfect Person for $45

[@PerfectPerson]

we will settle outside of court for a clean $50, you deserve a little blanket as a treat

[@eeeliz]

@@PerfectPerson 🤝

[@genetic_disruption]

So glad we can all get a little 🍃 together today, love this for all of us here in the chat

[@musicbycarolinebauer]

“WE LOVE WOMEN ON THIS SHOW!!!”

[@mariapizzaa]

26:49 i can't get over miles losing his shit over the caller's response to the echo fart sound. "Ok great. 😐 Yeah." 😂😂😂😂

[@jenna9590]

As Will & Miles mentioned, asexuality is so much more complex than people not having sex. Perhaps you and your partner could learn more about the ace spectrum, which could potentially provide insight into why he doesn’t initiate as much as you’d like. And it’s normally to have different sex drives. Clear communication does seem like the way to go. Will and Miles know what they’re talking about.

[@Elle_acce]

I came on here to make this comment, so I’m glad someone beat me to it! The callers partner should definitely look into asexuality more. It took me a really long time to figure out my ace identity because it takes some research and learning to understand how it works and feels in the body. As well as how many different experiences exist within the community.

[@notmn8210]

“start a movie at 10pm and you’re gonna be married to that person” i’m absolutely taking this advice

[@JazzIsSoWhatEver]

“is the boss being weird to women around the office?” “classic boss!” 😅😅😅

[@ashr9]

Miles would know 😂😂 (well, now ex-boss. Lol)

[@katiex3171]

2nd callers bf could still be asexual if he has no urge or desire for sex, even if he enjoys when it happens

[@kyliesparks1435]

Agreed! It seems like they both might want to look into demisexuality and grey sexuality specifically, in addition to looking deeper into asexuality as a blanket identity

[@hotboxfort]

hello my fellow stoner asexuals, congrats on being perfect people!!

[@DanieGrace]

I want MORE stoned podcasts from you both 💕 the chaotic energy is even better than normal

[@tawnyew]

Will, weed and miles bro time. Im here for it. Also my bf now has pver 20 sample colognes ive gotten him. He loves it

[@PerfectPerson]

We love a sweet smelling king

[@presidentofnothing]

whenever i first meet someone they’re like “do you smoke? idk its just a vibe you give off” 💀

[@kristalicious1126]

8 min in and this is the best episode to date 🍃😆🤣

[@jdavisjohnson3380]

The annual stoned episode is amazing. I want to also see a drunk episode please. Also, there should be a second smoke sesh before the Get Real Segment.

[@LizardKingRequiem]

Dispensary guy is a treat, he seems like a perfect friend

[@notmn8210]

“crushes are good because they make you feel alive… Daphne” so real

[@cleoW444]

I stand with the irrational fear of forgetting how to swallow

[@palindromegrace]

It’s not even 2 minutes into the episode when Will brings up the iconic 2005 banger, I’m Ready by Jack’s Mannequin and we thank you! What a fuckin time to be alive.

[@Celesticalhelena77]

Girl with the bumble roommate, BE CAREFUL! That's exactly how I met the guy who would end up threatening to hurt me, attempted squatting in my place and then broke my door down and stole from me. I got lucky that my neighbor saw him and he was later arrested. Please girl be careful

[@anonymixx8106]

Same... Glad you're safer now. Best case it's a butthead hobosexual, worst case it's a violent man child with a fragile ego

[@kelseytamez6824]

Miles I’m being induced right now and need a distraction so thank you for posting today

[@anonymixx8106]

42:00 "classic boss 👀👀👀👀" im dying 😂😂😂

[@jenna9590]

That Jack’s Mannequin reference took me BACK

[@theres.theresa]

DUDE WILL AND I ARE SOULMATES. Y’all start talking about dirty shirts and my mind immediately went to that jacks mannequin song. 😂😂 I gotta slide into that man’s DMs asap.

[@brandygreen865]

If it's not dirty I am going to wear it!!!

[@emmyemu33]

I love that we all knew/thought of this! I love them as a band!

[@noogie4173]

Confession: I’ve been debating getting the patreon and getting to watch them smoke weed is what pushed me over the edge😅

[@delcarr26]

LIVING for the Jack’s Mannequin I’m Ready reference straight off the top. 😍😂

[@aimforthejade]

Miles talks about how he’s not into music but then references Jack’s Mannequin?!? Excuse me?!? Does Mr. Zach Kornfield know about that song too!?

[@aimforthejade]

Okay.. just watched the rest, it was actually Will. But same same right?

[@Hello_Kristie]

JM hive rise up! 😆

[@mahurn]

This episode is making me join the Patreon. I love miles sm

[@a_o011]

I kind of disagree with the advice for the 1st caller.😅 if I'm ever in a situation where I'm being cheated on... please tell me. Idc if it's a short fling or not. Plus even if she doesn't like her, be a girls girl and anonymously let her know. No one deserves being cheated on, unless it was known that it's an open relationship.

[@tamberry8536]

Adding to this to say that untreated STDs can lead to cancer and infertility. Always let people know if they are being cheated on.

[@jackiemarchand2647]

“If it’s not dirty I’m gonna wear it, I take the stairs to the car and there’s fog on the windows.. I’m finding the wordsssssss …”

[@beckmannm]

Miles' giggle collapse at 46:21 was PRIMO Perfect Person!!!!

[@that_feralghoul_reaver7657]

😂 the conspirator whispers that goes on in this podcast always gets me.

[@EvWuzhere]

"Dirty stuff isnt from dirt, ita from stank"- miles is literally blowing every philosophical thinker in history out of the water within the first minute thirty of the podcast bc a truer statement has never been spoken

[@kathrynm5074]

Miles saying the first caller would be a spy and starting to sing a little spy music was amazing! 😂

[@CB____]

My 2023 brain struggles to focus on one thing at a time but I can always give this podcast my undivided attention.

[@musicbycarolinebauer]

I’m fucking loving the j’accuse reference omg.

[@__iTimmayy]

That had me cackling LOL. The power in Miles' voice when he said it was just perfection!

[@minmom166]

" I wouldn't say shit to nobody" 😂 Fav line from this ep

[@rachelhensley6758]

For Atrium - I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 years. We were both each other’s firsts, and at the beginning everything was great in terms of initiating intimacy. We had a medium-distance relationship (lived about 45 min apart) so things were also more scheduled. Once we moved in together about 3 years ago, we had to have some hard conversations about him not initiating sex as much as I did. It’s not easy to figure out, when as you guys said, women want to be desired. Our “agreement” is usually me saying “hey, you and me later?” And giving him the time to think about it and get into the “sexy” headspace. I’ve also learned his sex drive is VERY connecting to his emotions and well-being, so I’ve also learned to read him and know whether he’s in the right headspace. It ebbs and flows, and you learn to take care of yourself if you’re not lining up!

[@pwnrjw]

Long time listener, first time commenter- would love to see Jacksfilms on a drunk episode of the pod!!!

[@blinkfilms1]

I cant believe the weed episode is one of the most productive (number of calls wise)

[@xxAlexixx88]

I fucking love Will and Miles high together, the BEST

[@hollycaylynn9370]

Every time Will giggles my power grows

[@DS-pd2tn]

Miles is this generation’s Frasier Crane.

[@PerfectPerson]

Oh my GOSH I am honored

[@lindsayberry8749]

This is hilariously accurate! 😂

[@mariapizzaa]

Will needs to bring him tossed salad and scrambled eggs next time he guests lol

[@obscurecamera24]

yeah and Will is Miles🤣

[@DS-pd2tn]

@@obscurecamera24 I feel like Will is more of a Marty and Rainie is definitely Roz

[@samanthagooding5493]

“classic boss!” IM DYING 😂

[@imbomi7845]

I was so hesitant to watch this but so glad I did! 🎉🎉🎉 Thanks Miles and Will

[@mickinziejohnson1682]

I get so violently chopped during these videos ! 😂❤

[@jupiter8598]

this. is what im here for. mighty thnk u

[@alisterling499]

#HOTWILLAUTUMN 🍁 🔥 🍁 Thank you guys for your vulnerability and willingness to be yourselves. Makes me feel like a very normal 30 something 💕

[@emilyjohannes7007]

Love the “I’m ready” JM reference 😂

[@gopher8288]

Welp, my morning is made perfect 😊

[@emilieg4336]

Im always too stoned, glad to see you here with me 😂

[@k4zbr0]

amen to always needing water in case my throat randomly closes when im high

[@Allthatjass28]

Listened to the podcast this morning now I get to watch it I love Wednesdays ♥️

[@mchammerandnail]

I remember when i worked at a pet store and the job situation was similar to the dispensary caller, and me nad my coworker had suggestions and clear solutions to problems with organization and flow and she become wildly defensive.... I quit soon after and my coworker a few years later and now that place is CLOSEDDDD. Crazy how listening to ur workers work, I hope dispensary caller creates a freaking movement in the workplace and his boss and turn it tf around

[@FluffyBubbles468]

“And who said you have to change and wash a t-shirt after every individual use!? If it’s not dirty, I’m gonna wear it!” - Jack’s Mannequin

[@jessicasussen3912]

Thank you for this show ❤

[@krs1122]

Lol I feel the same way about getting 🍃 before interacting with other parents during school pickup or drop off 😂

[@PwnySparklez]

Okay- the "4 year 26 year old breakup" is a freaking THING?? I... am speechless. xD

[@missimplicity962]

I can never get over how much Wills voice reminds me of Morty from Rick and Morty....

[@kayemma443]

I also manifest my anxiety in worrying about forgetting how to swallow when I get too high, don’t worry Miles

[@flannelsaurus]

A chanteuse is a singer Will 😂

[@BradTheImpalerX]

ATTENCION PICK POCKET!😂

[@juliarose7205]

Why do you guys feel like real life Rick and Morty 🤣

[@polarberin]

I was going to comment about the related jacks mannequin lyric and then will said it and I've never known more confidently that someone was my soul mate.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

NO FEAR WILL WITWER IS HERE. Also, his eyes count as a water body.

[@sniffingyarn]

@will I love that Jack's Mannequin song 😂

[@gracel9080]

Loving this episode so much oh my god

[@mirabellerb]

holy shit not will with the jack's mannequin dirty shirt reference?! so many of my niche interests 🥲

[@spicypotatosofttaco3227]

I was gonna comment something else, but dang that Get Real was Real, Will. I've had mostly stoned musings with an anxious casing for like three years now, it's fricken time.

[@Preppy_SzaFan135]

Ok for the girl with the long distance crush…. I have been in a long distance relationship for 7 years and it did start that way. Now we are planning our future together. I just wanted to let her know it may not be common but it is possible.

[@anonymixx8106]

Agreed. I think it was a tad bit too generalized. And the hypothetical better scenario they described seemed pretty close to what she was describing 😂

[@Chantaya]

This was chaotic and wholesome 😂

[@arielle.notthemermaid]

Will! my love language is gift and I feel attacked.. Its not about being materialistic but its the thought that this someone remembered me somewhere along the way and brought me this item... For someone naive as me, having something that is very construct makes me feel and understand the feelings more

[@margaritakmp]

Has anyone told Will yet that a chanteuse is a singer not a prostitute lmao (for example: Mariah Carey, the titular elusive chanteuse)

[@PerfectPerson]

Hahahaha

[@petalchild]

This had me dying lmao

[@WestTexasGothic]

Y’all should do a microdosing episode 🤭

[@tinejoan]

hey besties just a fun fact: love languages aren't at all based on actual science/psychology, they were initially proposed by a guy caled Gary Chapman, he mainly used it as a way to justify some women not being attracted to their male partners, which i mean has a lot of social implications but that's basically the tea.

[@JennaLoomar]

I just realized how much Will can sound like Morty from Rick and Morty

[@andyqv-goodvibes1900]

MILES ME TOO! I FEEL LIKE I CANT SWALLOW OR LIKE ILL FORGET!! YOURE THE FIRST IVE HEARD TO HAVE THIS TOO to be fair, my throat gets a numb feeling for some reason even if i dont smoke and take edibles..confusing

[@__iTimmayy]

I'm this way too! One time I was so high it felt like my throat was closing up and I couldn't swallow to a point that I thought I was going to die ; - ; never got that high ever since.

[@andyqv-goodvibes1900]

@@__iTimmayy omg relatable, i too avoid getting that high ever again, especially at night because i dont trust myself to sleep and continue to breathe and swallow. Sleeping feels like dying at that point. Only mild highs for me! Only mild tipsy as well lol gotta keep it chill 😎

[@findparadise]

I need Will to know that I understood the reference to Jack’s Mannequin!!!

[@rachelreetz6614]

Will reminding us of the existence of Jack’s Mannequin. BRB while I cut back to my emo days and jam

[@cswrawr]

I recognize the very specific Jack's Mannequin reference. 😆

[@dallontaylor5840]

the girl with the asexual boyfriend made me so uncomfortable. if its that big of a deal to her she needs to find a partner who isnt asexual.

[@dallontaylor5840]

if sex is an important thing for you, dont enter a relationship with an asexual person and try to change them

[@aliflanagan7669]

She made me uncomfortable too I think it's cause she wasn't taking it seriously or sm, idk she had a weird vibe

[@dallontaylor5840]

@@aliflanagan76691000% viewing her boyfriends sexuality as a hurdle

[@margaritakmp]

Yeah I think they gave great advice, except it needed a bow on it and that bow needed to be "if you keep trying but you still aren't meeting in the middle on this and it matters a lot to you, then you need to accept that you're not compatible and just break up"

[@cottagegremmy]

she just sounded pushy af and it sounded like she was moaning everytime she sighed ;-; not her fault for that last thing but personally i cringed. she also kept breathing right into her mic ;-;;;;;

[@DragonDruids]

For the first caller, I would advise a cautious approach. I think you would be totally within your rights to try and warn one or both of the partners. However if you are going to do this, I think there is an obligation to try and better clarify the situation. For me the worry is that it doesn’t sound like the caller knows any of the people involved very well. Nor do they have any actual proof if an affair. There is also the fact that they are two men, one who it sounds like is not publicly queer. Being closeted of course does not justify cheating, but without understanding the situation better, you run the risk of circulating a rumour about someone’s sexuality and/or forcibly outing them. Which unfortunately can still pose a real mental or even physical danger to someone. So yeah, the potential for harm may outweigh the potential for good as the situation is currently described.

[@reekoo3034]

I was looking for this comment & I’m glad I didn’t have to scroll too much to find it, I am a lil surprised they didn’t bring up that aspect but tbh they’re both high & aren’t queer so I don’t blame them for not openly considering that aspect.- even having light gossip about someone’s sexuality can easily scare someone deeper into the closet/ impact their well-being so it’s definitely important to think about the outcomes of even touching on that situation, especially as someone not directly involved.

[@coldsuncrowfeet]

Her well being comes first

[@enterusernamehere123]

we're all stoned together ❤😆

[@maddirachael6362]

“you will not be able to see us get high” - will, penjamin in hand

[@Mali-it1ek]

Immediately got the Jack’s Mannequin ref!

[@Chloe-pp3oi]

miles is REALLY embracing the hot guy rebrand

[@amalia1973]

desperately need a t-shirt that says "what up what up ciao etc"

[@AprilSay]

Ughhhh working at a dispensary is literally the worst!!! Everyone I know that's a budtender is miserable we gotta unionize that shit!

[@blytheromano7488]

Watching this intoxicated made me feel sooo seen. Like I understood everything

[@blytheromano7488]

And I’m eating jalepeno poppers I just need you to know

[@sewerrat2728]

It sounds like this girl's bf is asexual. Asexuality is a spectrum. Some people will have sex but not need to for themselves.

[@emmyemu33]

JACKS MANNEQUIN OMG YES!!!!! IF ITS NOT DIRTY IM GONNA WEAR IT!

[@anad8087]

THE SUPERIOR DUO.

[@LavenderSpring-yy5wq]

It's 10:30pm I just took, arguably, too many edibles 🤭

[@lauraska95]

Reminder: Will's big post coming tomorrow!!

[@claudinevasquez3092]

I can't have weed because I'm going out for externship soon so I'll live vicariously through you guys😂