Second chance for avoidant ex?

[@Jdotrhh]

I regret ever meeting them at this point

[@northshorelight35]

No. Do not give an avoidant multiple chances because they'll only discard you as soon as things are going great. Only take them back if you plan to treat them like crap. lol

[@sholamacastro984]

It’s so many coaches talking about how to get the avoidant back. I found that this is the best channel to move on and avoid the avoidant, this man really opens your eyes to the cruel truth of what the avoidant did to you, and it’s not about demonizing them but the coach really has an impressive understanding of the personality of an avoidant. I don’t hate my avoidant ex, we were together for 7 months didn’t know he was an avoidant, and thanks to this channel I won’t be giving a second chance unless he seeks therapy, I told him i understand now why he is so emotional unavailable and he did not deny it. I really hope he heals and seek therapy, it’s not fair for anyone.

[@SSJavenger]

They aren't healthy people. Especially severe avoidants, i think i broke mine. I was the best she ever had from every single standpoint and she still fumbled it, fell deeper into addiction etc. They are unsavable.

[@spiritwanderer777]

I know what you mean. Mine had a panic attack after she trashed me verbally right after we had a wonderful 2 weeks together and I was nothing but loving. I think deep down they know they messed up. I doubt she will ever find someone as patient as I was.

[@SSJavenger]

@@spiritwanderer777 She won't, she knows she doesn't deserve it. Mine had extreme anxiety during the love bombing phase, she told me things like ''have fun with other women'' etc. And when she fell deeply in love and i told her DURING SEX BECAUSE SHE ASKED ME IF I USE A CONDOM WITH THE OTHERS! That she is stupid and i only have her, she had the next day her first deactivation, two days later, i was her god again. Then on and on and on and on, she had a panic attack when i told her that my intentions with her were always pure, literally visibly trembled. I told her i too had fallen in love for her and she replied ''you are crazy right?'' I was far better looking than her, along with everything else. She just couldn't wrap her tiny insecure brain around pure love.

[@johndoe8923-k2d]

@@SSJavenger LMAO your post is funny af bro. that last line, "she just couldn't wrap her tiny insecure brain...." HAHAHAH

[@Nono38-jj1tk]

@@johndoe8923-k2d You sound verbally abusive with narcissistic tendencies.

[@johndoe8923-k2d]

@@Nono38-jj1tk you sound like you dont have a sense of humour. Strong projection

[@jarretthardcastle]

Don't do it. You're setting yourself up for disappointment...again.

[@petitcoeur-q6r]

Don’t do it. I gave them a second chance and they discarded more cruelly this time by ghosting with no explanation whatsoever. They rarely or ever change. Heartbroken and trying to heal again. Thankfully I feel they won’t come back again this time by the way they discarded me this time. I was used and never loved by them. It was all a facade. They just wanted the benefits.

[@LorenaBerrenbaum]

Im sorry, thats painful.😢

[@nuninuninu5095]

The avoidant i was dealing with only spoke of how I hurt him so badly when I broke up with him because he was being an avoidant to begin with. I gave more chances because at his core, he is a good person. After many questions from me, he basically told me that he will never give his all because the last time he did he got hurt badly and doesn't trust anyone. He says if he gives hus all and gets hurt by me, there will be hell to pay. I've given many chances. Thank goodness he isn't verbally or physically abusive. I also still remain myself and live a good life. Leave these people where they stand. Many of them are covert narcissist. You will be on a constant roller-coaster ride. I'm weaning him off of me lol. He's deeply in love with me because i have dealt with him for so long. Thats my love, not his lol. With videos like these, it really helps. I was lovebombed, then bread crumbed. I wasn't discarded but downgraded and basically had the pedestal that I never asked for kicked out from under me. Run good people. Staying with them negates them understanding that they need therapy. They have you so its not like no one wants to be with them. You are validating them as being relationship material. RUN!

[@rattified]

I've done it twice with him, same thing. It won't work. But it's worth taking him back so that YOU can do the dumping this time.

[@Darkempress45]

😮😂😂😂

[@brendaeberhardt3739]

Not bitter at all?

[@smohammed2821]

Good 1

[@gayleneflower398]

Broken up 5xs WITH asking for normal needs..like seeing each other, honesty, communication, intimacy, celebrating holidays, birthdays. Gifts… he was selfish, he stole items from my house, cheater. he lied to me all the time.5 years wasted… long distance relationship Gf there 1/2 time… I wonder what she thinks? What a sucker I was!!… no more each day I still have a hard time one month now. I will get through. I don’t deserve someone like this piece of trash. The last time I took him back then ghosted him. He kept calling me asking me if I was seeing someone else and I said no. Then we had plans to go somewhere and I told him to stop playing games I was done I didn’t want to ever speak to him again… it felt soo good! But I still I miss him 😢

[@Darkempress45]

I blocked mine and he will stay blocked. I’m done. We have broken up and gotten back together 6 times. Only way I’ll hear from him is if he pops up over my house and he is too chicken shit to do that lol. I’m good. Next man I meet with these traits I’m running for the hills! Ain’t no second chances!

[@1984musicman]

You sort of have to live and learn with this one sadly. I let them back in and for discarded again within ONE WEEK. Hurt even more and has cost me a lot of time (and money) in high quality therapy.

[@andziagreen4922]

Sadly but true

[@jennyhaytch]

Same. Broke up at Xmas. Were back together by new year. A few days after that I get a text: “Now that the festive period is over I don’t feel so bad about not being in a relationship.” F****** idiot. Honestly, the pain this person inflicted on me. And I *still* care for them. 😠 Am healing and learning. At his worst he is an incredibly painful person to experience and interact with.

[@sadiqua7]

My ex was always so defensive and withholding, I thought if I remained consistent he’d calm his anxiety. I could not understand why a guy would pursue me so hard, then act like he didn’t want to spend time with me or talk to me other than once a week IF that. It was so weird. I wish I had found out about attachment earlier into the relationship so I could’ve moved differently. Now I know his issue was financial insecurity that he tried hiding from me. He’s self reflective up to a point. Since the breakup he’s shut down, anything I say is met with silence since I declined being a friend. No way I could consider a 2nd chance with a person that can be so cold, no matter what, stonewalling is unnecessary and traumatic immature behavior. Bridges burned. If he was adult, and responded to my last text, yeah I’d consider a reconciliation at some point with tangible changes in communication and vulnerability.

[@brennam954]

Well said, Sadiqua. It is the most confusing thing and I had also never gone through it before. Attachment theory really helps to explain these weirdos because they don't make any sense otherwise. But I especially like your resolve to not be his friend, especially since he's just stonewalling you. The bridge is burned with mine as well. There is absolutely no way to repair what he ruined, and he ghosted me 7 months ago. After pursuing me so hard and pushing a relationship to an abrupt "I feel weird right now", "I'm not emotionally available", "maybe we should just be friends" after acting like I was beyond precious to him.

[@petitcoeur-q6r]

I gave them a second chance and they discarded me again. They ghosted me this time with no explanation. I went NC and then three weeks later they messaged to ask if I had a fake profile - assuming I’ve been out on dating apps and stalking them! I felt offended and replied no. Not bothered since then. They come back when they have no other dating prospects and felt lonely. You are just an option. They dump you again when they feel ready to jump back to the dating pool again. Mine did that - decided to lose all the weight and discarded me to chase younger women. (He’s in a midlife crisis so it’s worse)

[@zacharyhoward1778]

💜 Man brings tears to my eyes. More than coach! Healing, slowly but with help

[@IndorilTheGreat]

I gave my ex a second chance. She dumped me a second time. I was willing to be friends and give things a third chance, but she dated someone else immediately and ghosted me, so I told her off. She got angry and that was that.

[@muhammedsaqaf5237]

Thank you coach, your the best keep up the wonderful work! My fiance came back after 4 moths. I was unsure about whether i would give her a second chance. But after i saw This video, i know i deserve better, its just not Worth the risc- time, effort, money - emotonal stress and pain again. I dont want her back , actually i just feel sorry for her

[@smohammed2821]

NO 2ND CHANCES ... NO WAY

[@RayLiotaToyota]

My ex reached out to me after two months. I don’t know what to expect except what I read from all the other commenters. Probably not gonna go well 😢

[@gayleneflower398]

RUN

[@tarkov666]

Find it funny many people say to work on yourself, but never say to have the same expectation from them

[@Helptosave-uc1pc]

No. Even if you have conditions what’s to stop them from doing the same thing, you can’t believe anything they say because they only want to avoid conflict…… hard no.

[@garyforbes8711]

I'd be shocked if I see mine again, nearly 4 months of NC and not a peep. Also, she is seeing someone else.

[@gregorystinette8271]

Keep on trucking

[@sadiqua7]

You’ll hear from her once that other situation ends trust. She’s distracting herself from feeling the breakup.

[@angelinadenisenko7396]

Same

[@TheUnkindness]

Mine reached out 7 months later, despite still being with someone else. She most likely will in time.

[@andziagreen4922]

I was 11 months in NC, believe me he didn't try to reach out but we met by accident at some event and he gave me back my notes from a workshop we went together while in relationship that I thought I lost and only said "was good to see you" and my NC continued, he never reached out with apology but we live near by so I'm guessing we might pop in to each other some day again. There was a phantom ex and female friend in the picture as well but not gonna follow him to check if my intuition was right. I did so much work with my issues that I don't want to drag myself to that terrible state of mind I was for over a year.

[@sarahkhan6742]

Absolutely true for me , I was discarded many many times

[@Flufero23]

I don't think my FA will come back. He probably feels guilty since he prides himself on being a nice guy. He probably has not addressed his avoidance issues in therapy. No, it would not work. Same thing over again. No way.

[@BirdieHaze2207]

They are nice guys.. that’s the hardest part.

[@Strongblast]

How long has been your breakup? It’s been for 2.5 months after my breakup, he is also stubborn af, I don’t think he wants to say apology to me because his prides

[@BirdieHaze2207]

@@Strongblast it’s been 4.5 months. He just shutdown and gone! Haven’t heard a word since. I feel it’s best to just leave him be. He’s such a good soul it’s very hard. He was soooooo good to me.

[@Flufero23]

@@StrongblastIt’s been nine months now. He texts occasionally about casual matters: co-workers, how I’m doing, etc. Nothing more. I have finally healed and moved on.

[@brownell.landrum]

@@BirdieHaze2207 They're nice - until they push you away. Then they're outright cruel.

[@user-mw4kr2vs2r]

Thank you coach!

[@naserdeen8210]

Ryan please make tons of videos for anxious and secure attachers

[@parkerberlin4410]

You'd just be wasting your time

[@Nonfiction.Reader]

Thank you!

[@TheHighwinder]

Nope.

[@GodHelpMe369]

Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.

[@davemaurer7341]

Jesus can't help you, you have to help you.....God helps those who help themselves

[@LorenzoMasterConnector]

Sorry guys but literally almost everyone is broken and needs healing. Y’all are Gunna be running from partner to partner till you die. At some point if the person is not severely abusive, you might wanna actually try to work things out.

[@brownell.landrum]

Thankfully, you are wrong. While many - perhaps even most - people have issues not everyone is abusive like a Dismissive Avoidant. Most of us will end a relationship with respect, not cruelty. And your suggesting people keep trying with a DA is telling them to invite being abused.

[@LorenzoMasterConnector]

@@brownell.landrum I’m suggesting people use discernment in their own relationships instead of a KZbin guy

[@brownell.landrum]

@@LorenzoMasterConnector This KZbin guy is helping a LOT of people.

[@LorenzoMasterConnector]

@@brownell.landrum I agree

[@majeedmeerasahibu1803]

You are the best in this field my coach!! Appreciate your videos.. Cheers

[@davemaurer7341]

This is the 5th time my ex has discarded me.... something triggered her outta nowhere.... she's ghosting me again, stinewalling and avoidong...... can Karma please stand up, im shattered again.....