Sister Trying To Force My Autistic Son Follow The Same Rules As Hers

[@weaponwaffers3516]

Story 1: NTA “boys will be boys” is supposed to mean friendly insults and wrestling, not sexual harassment

[@PANG0LIN]

That pretty much sums it up.

[@callapratt7927]

Yup. When it comes to harassment buys need to be called out and held accountable

[@adelheidbreidvik]

Boys will be boys is reserved for people like the TryGuys, not sexual harrasment

[@weaponwaffers3516]

Im at 169 likes, please don’t break the 69 You guys ruined the 69!

[@MrJpaynebb]

This was in a college class where each student is spending several hundred dollars per class to learn not deal with some rude jackass in the classroom. That's part of the instructor's job is to deal with those idiots which OP did quickly and effectively. It was damn rude, out of line and that behavior has a tendency to quickly become sexual harassment if not squashed very quickly which you did. Does the boyfriend and men like him think current or future employers would tolerate such and interruption during a business meeting. That young man would be getting a call to report to HR or his supervisor's office right after the meeting and it would not be a good talk for him I can assure. Better to learn this lesson in a college classroom than a suspension, write up or demotion at work.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Story 1: BF: "He NeEdS tO lEaRn!" OP: Yeah, I taught him that behavior wasn't acceptable by kicking him out of my classroom. That BF clearly has toxic views if he's dismissing literal sexual harassment as "boys will be boys". Dump his ass and suspend the student. Poor girl didn't do anything wrong.

[@MarkNarrations]

Must have been very embarassing for the poor girl 😔

[@jameson1239]

Saying something like that would get you suspended from middle school this happened in university

[@Jamlf]

@vergorance Nice conjecture with no bases. The boyfriend didn’t find anything wrong with the comment.

[@emilyevans7858]

Came here to say exactly this. OP taught that boy a lesson by calling him out in front of his mates and making it abundantly clear that this sort of behaviour should not and will not be tolerated in the classroom.

[@bearcat999]

The code of conduct comment is exactly right! We have that thing on every room and auditorium in our campus taped right by the door. University is not the place for that kind of shit.

[@carolynethepreposterous6284]

Story 1: The boyfriend is definitely in the wrong here. If the guy is going to act like a child, then he deserves to be treated like one.

[@niyablake]

This is in college, he is an adult, the BF is shit

[@Marco_Onyxheart]

I get where the boyfriend is coming from, but he's also dead wrong. Well, he's right that the college kid needs to learn. That's why the OP was teaching him by sending him out. That's how he's gonna have to learn.

[@forbinproject7174]

@@Marco_Onyxheart That kind of behavior shouldn't need to be addressed in college. It's something boys learn not to do in high school after girls are visited by the titty fairy

[@ravanpee1325]

Eye for an eye is never good behavior.

[@niyablake]

@@forbinproject7174 if has to be addressed in college m best way is expulsion

[@annvictor9627]

Sheramom4 is wrong -- there was no "seemingly" about OP's husband misusing CPS. What he did was knowingly file a false report, and that is something that comes with both criminal and civil liability.

[@belledomnik]

Story 3 dad is playing the sexuality card. BS. He is being irresponsible with his life and yours. If he was by himself it is one thing. He is selfish and gross. Run king theme.

[@peteranon8455]

Yeah, it doesn't matter if he's straight or gay for this story. You can't leave randos home alone if you live with anyone else, especially minors.

[@mirandanils5114]

story 1: im an undergrad. he’s at least 17+ there’s no reason to act like that, that’s the most disgusting ridiculous thing i’ve ever heard. drop that bf. he’s a creep too.

[@ravanpee1325]

The boyfriend discusses the pedagogical approach of the punishment. Harsh punishment is not always the best way to achieve a change in attitude or behavior. For example war against drugs. Harsh punishment, full crowded prisons, no change. The wrongdoer must reflect and come to the conclussion his behavior was wrong to resocialize. Now he will just blame the teacher for her reaction, no self-reflection no change. Public shaming is not the best way to achieve this.

[@mkuti-childress3625]

@@ravanpee1325 Harsh punishment? For telling him to apologize for actually humiliating someone and asking him to leave? If he has no problem loudly saying what he did, how would a simple apology bother him? Besides, the guy didn’t do anything to indicate that he was embarrassed at all. He’s lucky he did it where and when he did so he can learn how unacceptable that behavior is before he has a serious job, which would probably get him fired on the spot. Most schools have policies about disruptive behavior, and she did her job and followed the school’s policy. Students know the consequences for that kind of behavior from the get-go, so he shouldn’t have been surprised. He’s very lucky she didn’t report the incident to the Dean’s office. No school wants students who treat other students like that. What would you have had her do differently? Do you care at all about the humiliation and mortification the girl went through at all? I’ll bet she absolutely hates going to that class now. Was the instructor supposed to show her that she and her actual public humiliation don’t matter and not say anything to the guy?

[@peteranon8455]

I completely missed the fact that these were undergrads.... Yeah, it's perfectly acceptable to just advise the guy to leave for the class. I was thinking this was highschool, where the teacher would be obligated to have the student stay after class instead of leaving.

[@dylandobbins3135]

Oh my god for the first story NTA not sexualizing random women is common knowledge. Hell I’ve known that since I was 2

[@MarkNarrations]

I know right

[@itjustmemanning8441]

Story 2; Calling CPS is a very big deal. They can take the children away. Sometimes it can be very hard getting them back. NTA 🤔🧇🧇🧇😶

[@ettinakitten5047]

They're not going to randomly take away children who are clearly well-cared for because someone made an unfounded report.

[@Ospyro3em]

First story- you never know, this could be one of many comments in a long list of harassment from this guy. I'm saying it definitely is, but I'm getting flashbacks of my time at secondary school- a group of guys (the ringleader in particular) had an unhealthy obsession with me that bordered on stalkerish. They would constantly wolf whistle me in the corridor, make derogatory comments about parts of my body and at one point touch me inappropriately (he was punished for that). This went on for most of my secondary school years and made my life a misery until he was finally expelled for something unrelated. My point is that it may seem harmless, but it has to be stopped before he thinks he can get away with worse.

[@reesespieces2390]

If it was a long time coming, you would think the OP would add this to the post.

[@Ospyro3em]

@@reesespieces2390 if they knew it was going on- this may have been the first instance they knew about. I don't think the school knew the full extent of the bullying, harassment and humiliation I went through because I was too intimidated to report a lot of it. Also, my so-called (now ex) best friend just laughed at me and found it funny. Anyway, I never said it was definitely the case, the point I was getting at is let him get away with this comment and it could lead to more serious actions from him.

[@reesespieces2390]

@@Ospyro3em Wait.. do people not get their warnings like that on their lil school record where you are or wtf

[@reesespieces2390]

Either way. God damn schools are bad.

[@Ospyro3em]

@@reesespieces2390 it's been a few years since I was at school. All I know is that I reported him many times, even got the police involved at one point after a particularly nasty incident, and yet he and his group continued to harass me.

[@15oClock]

1. "Boys need to learn without the public humiliation." He's an adult in undergrad; he *needed* to learn before he even said it! 2. He doesn't care about whether or not she can raise her kids so long as he doesn't have to deal with it! Communication could be better, but that's 50% on him. 3. Considering the dad could get in trouble for this, that should be enough. OP could be in danger with all these strangers about. 4. Person on the spectrum here. I don't think OP's raising her kid as well as she could, but better than being backseat parented by someone else. Boundaries need to be set if they're gonna be living together for a long time.

[@j.c.2240]

Also on the spectrum, and I'm going to have to agree. You can't come in without warning and suddenly uproot and change the routine on any child and expect it to go well, but especially not with a child who has autism. Plus, she's not a guardian or caretaker. She has no authority. OP is right to refuse, seeing as she's already adapted as much as possible for her child.

[@Badartist888]

4: Really comes down to how severely autistic he is.

[@beckiehubley5798]

Yeah...bf is the asshole. Girls (everyone really) need to be able to learn without harassment.

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Another story 1 point: legit if my partner defended something like that we would be breaking up. He's obviously sexist and I'm sure she could do better.

[@callapratt7927]

I have a kid with autistic tendencies and I completely understand. You can’t just change their routine, it’s majorly upsetting even something as simple as that kid helping to close their medicine bottles (it’s a very important part of my kid’s bedtime routine, and if I don’t let her screw on that cap then I’m in for a bad night.) also let the kid have the tablet. It’s clearly helping him learn and when it comes to autism, the person in question usually finds one thing that they obsess over and excel in their lives by pursuing said obsession. For instance, my daughter started learning how to write using her own tablet. And Dora the explorer has helped immensely with getting her to be verbal.

[@Gumbier_Than]

My kid is on the spectrum. May not work for every child but we give a bit of flexibility in routine and in free time. For example, he has some chores he is able to do like folding laundry. He has before 6PM to get it completed. I think "phasing" him a bit onto her rules for her kids and slowly may benefit him. Also kids learn well from their peers. Maybe if the sisters talk this out rather than argue, things will go smoother.

[@TheGenericIndianGirl]

I mean, doesn't letting them do what they like, hinder their progress? Shouldn't OP have the kid learn other skills than just let him have a tablet? All I can think of I how the developmental years of a kid is spent wasted on the tablet while he could easily learn other skills, while not hurting himself.

[@callapratt7927]

You’d think so, but if used correctly it can be a massively useful tool for therapy. My Kid has partial right side paralysis, and part of her therapy is getting her to use her other hand which is largely useless to her at the moment. But with that tablet I can get her to use that hand more often. Plus all of the other things she’s Learned from her tablet. She’s also super active anyways so I don’t have to worry about it. She also learned how to be adept with touch screens because of her tablet.

[@roserocks1979]

But her kid his always on his tablet,that's way to much time.He needs to learning life skills also.I have a niece and 3 nephews with autism.Not every kid is the same.But no stop being on a tablet is not good for anyone.But her sister has no say over her kid.

[@tonilynn6819]

@@roserocks1979 agreed, if I just gave into my Autistic son's meltdowns all the time I truly believe he would not be as far along as he is now. He is 8 now and doing well, on the road to a normal life, a far reach from the unknown several years ago. You can't give up and give in, you have to step up and power through the hard times to get to a better place. That said, I know severe autism is a different ball game.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Dad is acting like he's a Frat boy sharing a place with a roommate, who's down for the party life, instead of his teenage kid.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

@Gi Gi That or he's going through some kind of a mid-life crisis and trying to relive his youth; the kid should go stay with his aunt e in a safe environment.

[@ruthgriffiths7365]

Despicable and dangerous behaviour.

[@dune3001]

As a teacher myself , I would have definitely taking it a step further. Ask the girl if she wants to report him to the faculty or report him personally. Another way to go is to ask in front of everyone in the class why he thought his comment was appropriate or what he hoped to achieve by it - you would be surprised what public shaming does to curb such behavior in the future. I hope OP dumps her boyfriend if he thinks an UNDERGRADUATE student still has to learn how to not sexually harass someone.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: The boyfriend's "Boys will be boys" notion is BS. OP was nicer than she needed to be. I'd have tore him a new one.

[@ravanpee1325]

It's not about boys will be boys, but about the best pedagogical way to change his attitude and behavior in the long run. Now he will blame the teacher for the situation instead to reflect about his behavior. Same exampel with e.g. war against drug. Harsh punishment, prison full crowded, nothing achieved.

[@Russman67]

@@ravanpee1325 that's wrong. He was lectured and removed for the day. He will learn (something very different from your war on drugs analogy) that his actions caused this and frankly if he doesn't then it's his cognitive dissonance that's at issue here, not him being publicly called out for his behavior.

[@Russman67]

@Lucith Manoire It's a college. He should have seen a dean. Frankly the teacher calling him out was light. Had he done this in a work setting, that's at least an HR visit. Maybe even a box of his stuff and his final check that day.

[@Russman67]

@Lucith Manoire We're good. :)

[@m.a.4838]

At first I thought maybe they were talking about middle school kids (which still wouldn't be okay) but then they said they were college students! That's not a boy it's a man and he should know better than to harass female students

[@sweetnyghte3593]

Story 4: I am a parent of a child with Autism. Only recently we have gone from an expanded family home of 7 down to a home of 3 (My sister and her 3 daughters recently moved out). It is not easy blending your family's together it take s a LOT of communication, understanding and willingness to be open to changes and not one only one persons part. I will say since it has gone down to just my husband, daughter and I left in the house the Rules have gone rather loose and laid back compared to what they where before. Keep to you guns, keep working towards what is best for your Son, OH and work on weening him off the tablet. Daughter had a similar tick of wanting to hide in her own world in stories on her tablet. It took about 3 years of constant work but we have got her down to only 2-3 hours a day on it finally. NTA

[@Flakey101]

Thats the one thing I was worried about in that you can not just change many autistic childrens routine all at once. She has to let the sister know she is willing to change, but it could take weeks or even longer for some things to be done. It is not going to be as simple as stating its going to change tomorrow like the sister thinks it can be done.

[@beckiehubley5798]

Or the sister could just mind her own business. There may be some changes that would benefit the op's son. I don't think the time to start is in the midst of a big change. Get thru that first.

[@alexsantoire4701]

Story 1: Dump that boyfriend. That is quite the red flag with him empathizing more with the male student than the female student. This is a college situation, not a highschool situation. At that point, folks know better than to say stuff publicly, and not to objectify people. The teacher did the right thing by kicking the student out of the classroom. Get rid of boyfriend. He's still a child, not a man, if he can't understand why what that student did to his female student is wrong. Boyfriend is making the OP feel guilty over common sense. Story 2: To call CPS as a wake up call is just despicable. It is such a big deal. It's like calling the police over trivial manners. This guy needs therapy. Sounds like there is some deeper set issues there in his mind where he gets this upset and goes to CPS. Childhood traumas? Things he might see are red flags that aren't actually red flags? Either way, calling CPS is just a waste of their time when it could of gone to actual children in need. If the partner is jealous of the amount of time or something that OP is spending with the kids needs to be addressed. The couple needs to have a real conversation and the guy needs to figure out his feelings and limitations. Story 3: Children really shouldnt be exposed to multiple partners all the time. It is extremely jarring. Stability is so important. It is not that hard for a parent to be able to go out and meet folks, and not bring it around their children. Do what you want to do. But do not involve the kids. I do not feel like either party is in the wrong, but the father really needs to keep his private affairs private. If he gets a proper partner and has been with them for a long time, he can then introduce them to the son. Dad is being selfish. Just let him take some time when the son isn't around to fool around, and not in the house, go to the other guys house. Compromise for the sake of the son. Story 4: The other children need to be spoken to that everyone is different and will handle things differently. Yes, they might be upset that he does not have chores and that is not fair. But, it is a great time to learn a large life lesson for them and how to empathize with a situation that they do not experience. The fact that the parent said they changed the routine partially is a step in the right direction, but the Aunt needs to do the same. Compromise together. One person cannot give fully without things being one sided. Walk towards the middle of the see-saw together at the same time, so it stays balanced, rather than one person walk and tip the scales.

[@VeritasEspiritoria]

Boys empathize more with boys, the same with girls, females usually support themselves even when wrong, why is so bad for him to do the same? He's just suggesting a better punishment.

[@alexsantoire4701]

@@VeritasEspiritoria I disagree. People can empathize with people regardless of sex or gender. It depends on who as a person has the capacity to empathise and to what amount. His empathy is projection on to the other male in the scenario because he probably acts the same and doesn't want to be treated just as the other male was. I.e getting kicked out of a classroom for objectifying a student. The punishment was equal. Humiliation and shame. But, it's cause his own cause had an equal consequence. If he hadn't said anything he wouldn't of been given a punishment. Sucks to suck and all that.

[@insertrandom5712]

@@VeritasEspiritoria thing is thats clearly not a better punishment, and he has no place to tell a teacher what a better punishment in this case would be, if the culprit had been a female and op tried to write that off they would be the asshole, it doesn't matter what gender you are sexual harrassment isn't ok and should never be ok

[@Pydite]

I love how when Mark was at the end of story 1, he typically asks the audience who was right etc. but this time he just was like: "was the punishment strict enough or does it need to be worsened" like yas king we don't stan sexual harassment B)

[@dwoktheraynejonsohn4849]

1:50 The guy acts like a child, so he's treated like a child. That IS harassment, and not just a "mistake" when you're a freaking _undergrad._

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Story 1: was completely reasonable. He humiliated her in the front of class, be glad he wasn't suspended for sexual harassment. Sure it's a juvenile comment, no less gross or inexcusable. Story 4: to battle screen time, she should set a time aside for him to read books abt sharks, draw them for mommy, tell her which ones are their favorite, or even ask her son to play sharks with her. Dress him up with a shark fin on his back and pretend to swim away before the shark gets you

[@Tim85-y2q]

That wouldn't necessarily work for someone on the spectrum. Routine is crucially important to many of those with ASD and he's probably already had his routine disrupted to a significant degree.

[@SendarSlayer]

@@Tim85-y2q Routine is important, but so is exposure. Children on the spectrum still need to be treated like people, and sometimes you don't get your way. If he can't handle that then they need to work on that together. Not straight away, but work towards it Still NTA though. The rules and routines being set by the sister are BS. Parent your own kids

[@Tim85-y2q]

@@SendarSlayer Sure, but the extent to which that is possible depends heavily on where this kid is on the spectrum etc. In the absence of more information, I'm going to assume OP knows more about her son's specific situation and needs than we do.

[@bioshockbrat9171]

@@Tim85-y2q - like many said: the excessive screen time is not great for developing brains, I'm offering alternatives because she may to change his routine even if just a little

[@Tim85-y2q]

@@bioshockbrat9171 Again ideally yes, but the extent and timing of that being able to happen depends on a lot of factors in the individual situation. I've known individuals with ASD who required years of extensive therapies and support just to get to the level described in this story. Obviously, the hope is that they can eventually go further, but that's not a given. OP sounds like she's pretty on the ball as far as helping her son deal with his special needs, so if she feels this is as far as he can be pushed right now, I'm inclined to believe that.

[@tracie2741]

I had to call CPS on a neighbour who use to SCREAM SO LOUDLY I WAS SCARED. I've never heard screaming so loud, and my nan lives next to a primary school. I had to hear it 3 times because at first i thought it one off. Second I thought once more and I call. Third time I called them. It changed her totally. She knew it was me I think. They came out the day I called. She needed the wake up call. OPs sister didn't, she needed support.

[@isaualii]

oh god NTA for the first one and break up with your boyfriend.

[@sentientjeans9487]

Ariana grande song

[@sentientjeans9487]

Btw he does suck

[@goddessmelanisia]

Immediately.

[@83gemm]

“Not everything is harassment.” Right. But THAT was.

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Story 2: another deal breaker. This man is being a child and I can't believe he think he's allowed to pass judgment on his wife's sister like that when she's willing to help and he doesn't even have to be involved? He's such an asshole. Another dealbreaker for me. I wouldn't forgive him for that. Omg.

[@ruthgriffiths7365]

I completely agree, that was absolutely unforgivable, he would be leaving via a window, a closed window.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

@@ruthgriffiths7365 Exactly! And I guarantee you that he’d be limping once he gets up.

[@CL-lx2pm]

I just loooooooove it when men tell me what is and isn't insulting or commonly heard as a woman. They're the experts, after all, and I really do rely on them to tell me what I'm allowed to be offended by and how I should react. Simply couldn't function without them.

[@amberadams6539]

They certainly make our lives so much easier, God's gift to women.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Story 4: NTA. The only thing I'd add is that it couldn't possibly be healthy for him to be on his tablet so often. Excessive screentime can cause damage to the eyes, as well as other side effects. If he's on his tablet literally ALL DAY, it's bound to have some adverse health effects. Buy him some books or toys so that he doesn't have to be on the screen as often, but can still be learning. Other than that, you seem to be doing everything right. Sis sounds entitled, "I'm living in your house, your kid has to follow my rules!" She can fuck off.

[@thedestroyasystem]

@Gi Gi I absolutely understand that. I am talking about the effects of the screen's light on the eyes. As a virtual learner, i can attest to the difficulty that being onscreen "24/7". It hurts my eyes and drains my energy, despite the fact that I am using it for educational purposes. I'm not saying that the effect on him would be the exact same, but rather there's a reason that doctors recommend a 2 or 3 hour limit for growing kids. That's why I suggested books, so he can continue learning but get a break from the screen. And once again, not saying he shouldn't be using it at all, just limit it a bit.

[@thedestroyasystem]

@Gi Gi Yeah I get that. Sis is totally out of line

[@roserocks1979]

Agreed,stop using his autism as a excuse not to parent him.He needs to learn how to do things for himself.Her ignoring him on his tablet so he won't have meltdowns is bad parenting.Her sister has no say on how she does or in her case doesn't parent her kid.Her sister also needs to realize she's about to pop out number 7 with no husband,no boyfriend,and how that affects her kids.

[@williammccroskey2433]

Now it could be the kid isn't actually on 24/7 just tends to be most of the day. And as a person with autism I liked quiet and few people (unless they are a group of people I know well) so the tablet could be the kids get away from the rest which is me when we have company over.

[@renoloverxoxo]

@@roserocks1979 you don't have a child on the spectrum do you?

[@makq4002]

In order to learn from a mistake you need a punishment. If he's saying that there shouldn't be a punishment, then the BF doesn't want the boys to learn, he wants them to have free reign over girls bodies

[@yunuenhagane3495]

I bet the first story "Boys will be boys" guy is named Chad or Bryan

[@MarkNarrations]

Lol🤣

[@KyrieChii]

Or maybe Kevin. 🤣

[@maxpanzer10]

Story 1: How can young men make mistakes and not be punished for it? If you let them ‘make mistakes’ and don’t correct them, they’ll never learn. That boy is an UNDERGRAD! He’s an adult and should know better. Honestly, the BF should be dumped. They did the right thing by shutting the man down completely when it happened.

[@365ral]

With Story 3, when minors live in a house with non-married adults, the risk of sexual assault skyrockets.

[@MrJpaynebb]

It has nothing to do with sexuality but common courtesy and decency. He could be straight and be having 3 to 5 random women over every week and OP would still be uncomfortable in that house. Would OP's father once he turns 18 be cool with his son having that many different women over every week and leaving them alone with his dad after leaving? Hell no! OP talk to your dad again and if that doesn't work tell your aunt and let her know why you want to move. Perhaps his sibling yelling at him about how dangerous this is and how much of an idiot he is being will get him to change his dating habits.

[@renoloverxoxo]

Yep... I know two people in my circle of friends during high school who were abused by the person dating their parent. And those are just the ones who felt comfortable enough to open up to me.

[@justafan8994]

About the screen time! I have adhd and autism and I can say my phone helps me through a lot. I am not lucky enough to have a mother like her who understands but my phone helps me stay grounded keep on routine and helps me not have a overload as it blocks out the other sounds. Plus I love learning

[@fionamasters1822]

Story 1 oh hell no not the a hole! He is not a child he should not not have even said that! If she was about to start a presentation I'm assuming the class was silent so that was clearly heard.

[@MarkNarrations]

What goes through someone's mind to say it though. Madness

[@KyrieChii]

I found his addition of referring to the guy saying 'boys that age'... as though this was a kid in high school (which _still_ wouldn't be tolerable but perhaps a little more understandable) instead of a man in college... particularly obnoxious & ridiculous. Sounds like in his mind we can't expect them to act like adults until age 30.

[@didyasaysomethin2me]

@@KyrieChii For some men, even at 30 it's like the zero fell off somewhere.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

@@didyasaysomethin2me Tell me about it!

[@lavenderquartz9323]

For story 1 If the dude using that excuse "boys will be boys" High chance that he'll do the same thing to OP

[@TheHellsHobbit]

Calling CPS is huge, the sister will now be in their files for at least a year. If no other issue is raised case will be closed, but still there will be a file. What he did was wrong sounds more like he is jealous of the close bond between the sisters

[@hayleyg7719]

My step mum kept calling them on me when I pressed charges on my dad for creepy shit. The added stress definitely contributed to my mental breakdown 10 years ago. And god help ops sister if she needs any further help with kids and CPS gets wind

[@TheHellsHobbit]

@@hayleyg7719 So sorry for what your step mom did to you, not cool. Husband opened a big can of worms. He needs to shut up

[@MrJpaynebb]

She has a case file now with CPS. OP your idiot husband needs to be called out not just by you but your sister. OP needs to tell her he's the reason she got a CPS visit. Sister can no longer trust her BIL and needs to be aware of this. He is a danger to her family and OP needs to let her know asap. There will be fallout but the longer you keep this from her the worse it will turn out.

[@hayleyg7719]

@@TheHellsHobbit thank you love

[@zoidberg1256]

I never realised how many different kinds of people watching these vids like I'm having tea some people are working and some people are just waking up its mad to think about

[@MarkNarrations]

I know I find it crazy too 🤣

[@anonamouse2052]

I wake up to it, at around 10am where I am, and listen to it while getting ready

[@zoethezoologist4391]

I come home from work to these videos! Nice way to start unwinding from a manic day!

[@nikkiwhray1598]

I really wish there were legal consequences for people who call CPS for fake / malicious purposes.

[@msindestructible1]

Side note, the waffle at the beginning is adorable and needs to be made into a Plushie

[@MarkNarrations]

Haha what would it's name be

[@nitrogamer8222]

@@MarkNarrationsI have a couple: Woofle Wuffly Wabble Weffler The first one is my favourite Please consider doing this

[@paden1865able]

I'd buy a plushie waffle and name it Wuffle.

[@shithead1029384756]

@@nitrogamer8222 sounds like he needs a line of 4 of them now!

[@ragingwerewolfdude3797]

Woofle merch

[@jazzywarrrior1414]

That last story really gets to me. I worked with autistic kids and many parents seem to think that because a child has a disability, they can get away with more. There's a difference between meltdowns and tantrums. I wish I could have a word with that mom. That kid is going to suffer so many consequences.

[@Lindsay-nx5sv]

My big worry is allowing hyper-fixations to continue. I don't think it is healthy for any child, autistic or not, and could pose a problem as he grows.

[@blakethememe3840]

@@Lindsay-nx5sv what's wrong with hyperfixations? the kid likes sharks- so what?

[@jazzywarrrior1414]

The hyper-fixation hasn't necessarily been a problem for most of my kiddos. However when the mom doesn't help them adjust to anything and just makes the world accommodate to them, it causes issues down the road.

[@ettinakitten5047]

@@Lindsay-nx5sv Hyperfixations are not a bad thing. In fact, for many autistic people, they're the person's biggest strength. If you go to upper-level university classes, most of the students you'll meet, whether or not they're on the spectrum, will have hyperfixations relevant to the degree they're working on. It's just that if someone doesn't have a diagnosis we call it a passion instead.

[@pris1378]

The tablet could be his way of communication.

[@louisecarruth932]

It's the husband for calling CPS. Because he was jealous of the sister's kids.

[@hollinal]

He essentially used the CPS system to correct a problem or concern in his relationship. With zero consideration for the actual welfare of those kids. Unfortunate.

[@thislookslikepatrick5070]

S2 NTA responding to that last comment would OP babysitting the children be any different than not working from home and working a nine to five it doesn't matter and doesn't affect him.

[@gamestain1511]

I would have done the same. I've never understood why people feel so comfortable commenting on another person's body, ESPECIALLY other women

[@flb-fatlazyboy5942]

What does it matter if it’s a man or a women

[@Deviczek]

@@flb-fatlazyboy5942 Probably some SJW bullshit.

[@gamestain1511]

@@Deviczek How am I being a SJW when saying that women have a field day commenting on other women's bodies? This is something I've witnessed my entire life

[@gamestain1511]

@@flb-fatlazyboy5942 In hindsight it doesn't, but growing up i notice that women tend to do it just as much or even more than men do. Especially if they're going out of their way to make fun of said person

[@flb-fatlazyboy5942]

@@gamestain1511 I thin the main problem is that there is no line between which is acceptable an what is not

[@KE-hr4sb]

Story 1: BF: "Not everything is harassment." Another record scratch. I'm sorry, please explain to me how making (ill-timed, unnecessary) comments about her body is NOT harassment? Should the girl have responded, "And your brain is obviously as small as your dick," would bf have a problem with that? Even if the kid had "made a mistake," he needs to learn from them as well, which he can not do if there are no consequences. Meanwhile, imagine what you are not seeing out of the classroom, that poor girl is probably going to be known as "the girl with the big tits" as the story gets gossiped about and passed around for a while.

[@amberadams6539]

And, if I read correctly, he's in college. So he should have learned from those "mistakes" long before leaving high school. He's not a 6th grader, that shit doesn't fly. He's just being an asshole, and so is OP's boyfriend.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

@@amberadams6539 Agreed!

[@debischepers2983]

In the first story, the first thing she needs to do is dump the boyfriend.

[@builtontherockhomestead9390]

Autism has so many variations, hard to say what OP should do without knowing this child.

[@isabellamaza1702]

1st story: dump him 🙂

[@grinningweirdo4888]

Story 3: nta any one of those guys could be a “lover of children” or enjoy “unaliveing” people and he won’t know since he’s not there at some points.

[@lizcatty9281]

You know what I think is really sad?... I've never heard any1 say "Boys will be boys." when they're doin something good/positive!😥 I aim 2 do things differently with my little dude!- I want some1 2 be able 2 say "he's being a boy" when he's helpin some1 out or somethin, u know!? Lotsa love from Australia all u wonderful little waffles! 🧡🇦🇺 Thanx Mark 4 another great vid mate! 😉💋 Edited 2 fix some grammar, but aware it ain't gr8 lol xo

[@er6730]

In real life I've heard it used mostly in the "yikes that seems like it will cause a bruise, but they're having so much fun I'll let them continue" way. Like, 3 kids pile into a cardboard box and rock until they roll down a hill. If it's all boys doing it, one parent will want to stop them and another parent will say, "aw, they'll be okay. Boys will be boys" It's not gross like it is online. It still bothers me a little, because I did that sort of thing as a girl, and one of my daughters is always in the mix when nonsense like that is happening, too. It feels weird to erase us like that. Maybe "kids will be kids" would be a better way.

[@digitalharmony26]

Stuck in the hospital ER at 6am on a Monday morning. Needing this video to stay awake haha

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

1st Story: Does Respect, Common Sense & Decency mean anything to you? Wtf. Red flag for that bf. 3rd Story: WTF!! That is absolutely scary & dangerous.

[@GaiaTheNatureWitch]

Story one: Op's boyfriend sounds like one of those guys who think forcing woman is ok. because hey boys will be boys right

[@josephfarr1649]

Story 4: I def think a compromise would be good. I def agree with people saying it's not healthy for the kid to have the tablet 24/7. I do believe that depending on his age, he could do a little more chores.

[@Aziza_Nyxie_Jynx_Ashling]

For the last story I can relate, growing up I was in the position the autistic boy is. It went from it being me, my mom and dad to having my half siblings and cousins all under one roof, around 10-12 kids constantly, depending if some were taking a day or two with other family. I was ALWAYS reading and was quite advanced, by 2 1/2 years old my fav books were the lion the witch and the wardrobe and a wrinkle in time and all the books within those series. Most of the kids my age and older either couldn’t read yet or were learning or were older and not interested. I was also painfully shy, and very sensitive to yelling, fighting, and the older kids grew resentful. What changed things was to draw me out of the books and into family time we had story time first, I could read things at a level that they were interested in so I read them book everyone liked. Then we read books together, the books that connected us was Disney books we read the books together then watched the movies together. We spread it out into each person was a character and we memorized the books lines as well as movies lines and song lyrics, then we made plays of them. They were able to slowly understand my shyness and triggers and once they understood they worked with it, learned what to do if I was upset and when it was bad when to get an adult. They learned to just sit with me till I calmed then didn’t make a big deal when I started to play again so I wouldn’t be embarrassed. I was the the youngest in this group of kids, and most of them were boys, i was one of a few girls. For this family to work the other kids NEED to be told ASAP. The longer they wait the more the resentment will build. Then engage the boy by having him tell his cousin about the weird wonderful world of sharks, find shark programs and have the kids watch after the adult to make sure it’s not gonna give nightmares. Then have a family night were everyone takes turn talking about a subject they love, give a least weeks time heads up to get info on their fav topic, get pics, or anything, like show and tell (it will and can double as a meet and greet type thing so they can get to know each other and get a feel for each other) before it starts remind the kids about their cousins issues, and while doing that have the mom talk to him (and try to get him excited) about family show and tell, excited about sharing and excited about learning what his cousins like. Then causally mention stuff everyone can do that involves each topic during show and tell (and if he tries to go back to his screen ask him to look up something about the subject being talked about.) Like shark night, then lego night, then super hero night. And how everyone can incorporate their fav topic into other fav topic, everyone can make a lego statue of the fav thing, then “hey we should have a movie night!” And u can find movies about any of the subjects, and chances are high, movies with multiple subjects. And u can even dedicate certain nights to one persons topic. Engage everyone to find info about that topic. If he can find shark stuff he can find other stuff too. Many opportunities and chances to make it work but the first step is talk to ALL the kids, tell the autistic son that his cousins want to get to know him, ask him is that ok to try? And explain to the other kids what is going on with their cousin, have them watch a few KZbin Vids too, visuals may help. Have the kids and the aunt understand when the son is just to overwhelmed ( we called it me not feeling good or having a sad feeling night, or a grumpy night and that I’ll probably feel better in the morning. If they were worried they drew pictures of stuff I liked to give to me the next day so they could make sure I knew they cared and it made them and me feel better) and the mom’s need to respect that they know their kids limits and respect that. No demands, no ultimatums, and no obligations. Cuz the kids will feel that stress. When I felt like I HAD to do something because of a demand, ultimatum, forced obligation or guilt trips it wrecked me and I would shut down and cry unable to do what they wanted but unable to feel like I could say no not today. So when planning stuff it should be let’s see how everyone feels on that day and if everyone is up for it then let’s do it and if not we can come up with something else’s just as fun for everyone to do. With the chores have him HELP his cousins with the chores, see what he can do then some days they can HELP him with the same chore till he gets it. That how I learned just bout everything even cooking by watching, then helping then being helped then on my own, ta-da 🤗 💖 kids understand more than ppl give them credit for, and the first step is talking to them about it. If the kids get frustrated then take the one that is upset aside (alone, one kid at a time) to vent, give them ur full attention and validate their feelings, do it one kid at a time cuz if u have several venting their anger at once it will only feed each other till it grows to true anger and dislike to hate and the target of the anger will never be accepted by them and then bullying starts. Nip the frustration in the bud. And family counseling could help to but again individual and group. It’s important everyone feels heard and that everyone, weather autistic or not, can take a ‘me day’. Where they can have alone time too. It’s so important that they know they have that option too regardless if they r autistic or not. Hope this helps. And sorry for any spelling issue or anything, I’m writing this on mobile.

[@reptilelover2129]

If my BF told me "boys will be boys" after sexual harassment, they would be thrown to the curb so fast they would sore past it.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

I’m of the mindset that some behaviors can be chalked up to “boys will be boys” depending on the age I could see that argument for the behavior in story 1 for a middle school student, though op still wouldn’t be the asshole there, as that doesn’t make the behavior any more appropriate or excusable But a college student is well past that age, and there’s no excuse for it at that age

[@annvictor9627]

If I were the OP being left alone with random strangers, I'd move back with the aunt. I'd tell my father that I love him, but I don't feel safe with a house full of strangers. As he said, it wouldn't be comfortable if it were a bunch of strange women in the house. Tell Dad you'll be glad to see him -- alone (unless he's met THE ONE and wants to introduce you to him), at a restaurant. Get takeout and go someplace safe to eat.

[@frith.calluna]

Story 1: NTA. Personally, I would probably have punished the boy more. He knew what he was doing and he knew it was wrong. Actions have consequences. OP has a shit boyfriend. Story 2: NTA. You don't call CPS over nothing. That's like calling the police because you want your children to behave. Story 3: NTA. NTA. NTA. OP has good reason to be concerned about this situation. I'm sure the dad wouldn't like it either if OP randomly brought people over without discussing it with their dad. Sexuality doesn't matter here and OP has put up with this possible safety risk for long enough. Story 4: NTA. Autism or not, you can't just demand that someone else's kids do whatever you want. OP's sister is in the wrong here. I think it's very understandable that her children are frustrated as well. I'd be frustrated too if I was one of the sister's kids. That being said, I do think they should discuss this together. Maybe they could try to integrate OP's son a bit more if he's able to, but I'm no expert so that's nothing more than a suggestion.

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Story 3. Omg poor child. Nta. You're right that your father wouldn't be able to protect you from his one night stands if he leaves you alone in the house with them. The fact that toyr father thinks its about his sexuality is amazing to me. You're bringing strange person after strange person barely knowing them and leaving them at home alone with your son? Omg.. so irresponsible.

[@sophiaann8918]

Story 3: This made me queasy listening to, it reminded me too much of situations my friends found themselves in with single party parents and it never ended well. Op needs to tell their aunt, this behavior is reckless and scary and putting them in danger!

[@LokasennaCole]

for story 4: I've always been a bit angry when people lump ALL screen time into the same category. If they were watching power rangers or cartoons all the time that's one thing, but he's using it to read and learn. It's not bad because it's a screen. for all you know he could be reading collegiate level textbooks on marine biology.

[@ettinakitten5047]

This! Everyone's jumping on the screen time thing but reading educational material doesn't go from beneficial to harmful just because it's displayed electronically instead of printed on paper.

[@Lynx-og5fd]

OP needs to drop the boyfriend

[@papachrist200]

As somebody on the spectrum I know from my personal experience just having so many more people move into the household in and of itself is probably disruptive and stressful let alone an (in my opinion) overbearing relative trying to impose the rules for their own children onto him. Going on to then try and completely change his whole daily routine is just unfair to him all around. For this child he is only seven years ild and all of the sudden his aunt and six cousins move in and are aggressively trying to completely change his entire routine and day to day life, I don’t know if he is but if that were me I would’ve been extremely resentful of that entire part of the family!

[@robhatesyoutube]

Story 1: I bet that boy was so embarrassed after being called out he was glad to leave.

[@charimonfanboy]

I am on the spectrum myself and while I would definitely advise speaking to a specialist about the screen time, please make sure it is a specialist who knows about autism. So many health workers know nothing about it and they can make things so much worse by just treating autistic kids as naughty NT kids.

[@theannilators7479]

Ill bet you anything the student from story 1 thought he was muted Little shit mortified himself too

[@MariXiraM]

I just finished the cps story and it reminded me of when my previous step dad who had abused me called cps on my mom for my half brother going home to his house with a bruise that his older son had given him from literally attacking him in the middle of the night and now having my brother terrified of the dark. He stopped getting my younger brother after he himself started abusing him because of being unruly from either his autism or adhd, i dont know which but my brother didnt deserve it. He’s a sick man.

[@palmspirit1833]

Being walked out of the class should be the least of his worries. I'm sure there are channels to report sexual harassment and escalate the issue. This is ridiculous. The boyfriend has seriously screwed up values.

[@danielb9213]

great video! thanks for making these they've even turned into part of my morning routine

[@MarkNarrations]

Glad to hear it, thank you 😁

[@heathermiller6046]

Not as fortunate to do it first thing in the morning, but always the first video I look up in the day 😊

[@missluciddreams3472]

Story two...NTA...she is helping her sister and the husband had to lie to CPS to get them out there. Might want to spend some time apart. Story four: NTA...I have an autistic child...melt downs can last three days or more...please do not suggest changing and autistic child's schedule to appease someone with neuro typical children...he is six...if a tablet makes him happy, let the kid experience some joy in his already difficult life...he has the rest of it to grow out of this phase and therapy can help. Make this a learning moment for the other children and keep doing what u r doing, OP. Ur child sounds amazing and I hope his love for sharks continues 💙 Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! 🦃

[@Flakey101]

Story 2. You have no suggestions or proof that he lied. He could also have just told them the truth, and his wife is down playing the sisters struggles. Especially when people are saying it just a little babysitting where they ignore the part where the Op and her husband do most of the cleaning and repair work of the sisters apartment.

[@kelseylauer6477]

Considering the huge change in sensory input (7 additional people in a house is a lot!) He may need the tablet as a way to prevent overstimulation. Based on what the parent wrote it sounds like she is already working with a specialist and is trying to minimize stress to her son during a very stressful time.

[@STB-jh7od]

Story 3-OP better not be surprised when sister's kids WON"T take him in when they're adults.

[@dynodish]

That first story..I had a kid do that exact same thing to me during 8th grade speech class. Before anyone else could say anything, I said, ''Wow, you have the smallest (pregnant pause) brain I've ever met." Yeah, it wasn't the wittiest quip, but, hey, I was 14. Anyway, he never lived it down.

[@D123-f9k]

When I heard what the guy in the first story said, I immediately said "kick him out". I would say that for any similar outburst from a college student, but also if the guy hasn't learned to keep his appraisal to himself, that was a great way to teach him without ruining his school career with a referral to some CoC Board.

[@peteranon8455]

Story two, the story was sounding like it was simply a relationship that was headed for divorce , but then the husband took the nuclear option and blew everything up. She's also ignoring his needs in the relationship, but it's NTA because she's a level 2 AH and he's a level 9 AH.

[@RWorley3sl]

My sister had the its unfair talk with her Middle son, he does have very bad adhd but is fine otherwise. His brothers are autistic and have numerous health problems. He does more, but understands more now. We don't know if the youngest is on the spectrum or just imitates his brother. He's very manipulative and smart like most kids. You just have yo be firm. The sister can't ho into another home and demand same rules for nephew, autistic or no. Don't force family time, it won't work.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

Well said.

[@kimmieevans3598]

The first time one of them robs him.I use to wake up on Saturday morning and Sunday morning to random men .I was 10-14 a couple of them tried inappropriate shit on me .She said I flirt ed and was jealous of her .Narcissist mommy stop bring them home once I started to be pretty and younger then her

[@nuclearphoenix177]

For story 4 I’m gonna say NTA as I’ve commented I’m on the autistic spectrum, and I can say from experience that a change in routine is extremely stressful and can cause meltdowns (which I had a lot of when I was younger) the sisters are in TA if they can’t understand the kids disability (if he see it like that). I’ve had people get annoyed and pissed with me because of my autism and it’s a day to day challenge I hope OPs kid in story 4 has a successful life

[@PinkMarshmallows]

1st Story: Excuse you?! I would have dumped that boyfriend right then and there. I have no tolerance for that bullshit.

[@suzettekath9860]

Our household was the target of cps couple of years ago. What happened, is that I corrected at that time, my daughter's social worker on how autistic folks wish to be known as. She kept going on how her way to say what we are, is supposedly the correct version. So she made a report. Some truths, some truths that she twisted, and some outright lies.

[@gabrielaranna5809]

Story 4: What a mess! OP had a kid when she was just a kid at 15. OP still lives with her parents and depends on them to take care of her kid and herself. The sister has 6 kids! And was kicked out by her partner. A lot of problems going on and a lot of different sides and points of view. I can't shake the feeling that everything would be way easier in both their lives if they had focused more on their development, careers, and less on having children after children.

[@Nuqutu]

Mother to the autistic boy. Let him read a book instead of using a tablet as a nanny

[@shadeblackwolf1508]

autistic son story: he went from being in a good environment for learning to handle the mess in his head, to an awful one. if i were that kid's parent, i'd give them a key to their bedroom and make a new rule that whenever things are too busy in the house, he may go to his room, and if they won't leave him alone, he may lock his door.

[@fhuber7507]

3... OP needs to get out ASAP. NTA. Hope she called CPS.

[@HeloiseColas]

About the last story, OP clearly states in another comment that the tablet is mostly a comfort object and doesn't use it all the time. Like I commented originally on Reddit, I think it would be good to have a talk with everyone and explain the differences to the children. Also, the child could try and take part in a small family time maybe by talking about sharks since he seems so passionate about it. Could help create more bonds and make him less "nervous" I guess...

[@cyrilenejones8487]

Last story that sister should raise her own children and stay from OP child. What she doing with so many anyway

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Exactly. My first thought was; she has six with another on the way. Maybe she needs to tend her own house and stop dropping kids before deciding she in in charge - at her parents' home - of OP's kid...

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

@@OZARKMOON1960 I honestly don’t see how anyone can handle that many kids, even though I have a friend that has 6 siblings and has the most laid back, generous, kind and loving (not to mention the coolest) mom and dad. It’s just a lot more than I could handle. I’m ready to pull my hair out with my 2 teens. As far as her taking over at her parents house, that’s ridiculous! Also, I wanna know why the parents aren’t stepping up to their kids and setting some “in our house you need to take care of your own kids” rules and whatever other boundaries they have. There’s no way in hell my parents would just sit back and let me and my sister move in just to immediately start fighting about our own parenting techniques.

[@AllenTax]

I hope twins or triplets. She needs to keep her legs closed. Kid does need more help. Glued to tablet is not healthy.

[@angeliccow]

I was all ready to say yes all children should follow the same rules - but she is entering his domain not the other way round. So no she should not have her son follow the new routine just cause it’s hers.

[@MsTemptation]

Story 4: NAH, but surely you need to have your son put down his tablet and try to engage with the other kids. Your son isn't going to be a child forever, so you will need to work with him more instead of expecting special treatment due to his autism. Plus you really need to thank your parents for allowing you to stay with them rent free by doing your upmost to help keep the peace in their home.

[@BraveryWing26]

2nd OP should divorce this guy ASAP. He's awful and he did something unforgiveable.

[@melknox8079]

S3 - NTA, child of divorce. Both my parents dated and I never knew a thing until they were "serious". Leaving these strangers with OP alone in the house is neglectful; they are an underaged dependent,not an adult roommate, a difference OP's dad doesn't seem to understand. OP should go back to aunt, right away.

[@lunanight2151]

Story 2 in regards to the last comment. I am sorry but to me it sounded like their communication isn’t what needs help. He never said he was wanting to talk about how much she was watching the kids. He accused her sister of being a bad mother and using them. To me it sounds like Op was the volunteering to watch them to help her sister out. The husband needs a reality check and to be kicked out on his tush. Op is absolutely nah

[@middaydraws3379]

I was thinking the same thing. Sometimes reddit lacks reading comprehension or don't bother reading updates especially since OP only watches the kids 3 times a week and for under 6 hours during that week.

[@lunanight2151]

@@middaydraws3379 Honestly all the info needed was provided in the original post to!!

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

@@middaydraws3379 I just created a Reddit account for myself almost a week ago, and I’m already seeing what you’re talking about. The comprehension levels of a lot of people’s commentary is absolutely lacking in every way.

[@cb9825]

Last story OP needs to gradually include her kid into helping with chores, it will help him to be more independent as a teen and an adult. And yes, letting him use the tablet 24/7 to avoid meltdowns is not right. She needs to consult with specialists.

[@alma5147]

Sexual harrassment is never okay, no matter the gender. OP in the first story did the right thing by removing the issue, though I think she should have confirmed that the student was okay performing the presentation or not. Should definitely have reported it to the principle/parents. With ones actions comes consequences. I feel as if though the mother of the autistic child is using technology as a nanny, that child needs to learn social skills and compromising what he likes to do with what he needs to do, to the best of his abilities. As a 19 year old high functioning autist I am slowly but surely learning these social skills. Wish that child the best.

[@17andtravelling]

I have Asperger's and changing like that would not end well for me. I found it hard when I went to a Guides camp and they expected us to do chores, and I was given no exceptions. It was honestly hell. I stopped doing any type of camp afterwards because I realised that my mum was paying people for me to do chores effectively. My grandparents picked me up early because it was awful, and they said no one was smiling in my group when they walked in. Also, the leaders liked to do a whole lotta nothing other than tell us what to do. I've found I particularly don't like washing up. They didn't like when I said if they gave us the huge tin that the mashed potatoes were cooked in, I'd refuse to wash it, because "tHaT's My JoB" I wouldn't wash it because the sight of them makes me gag and you are truly kidding yourself if you think I'm shoving my hand inside it and cleaning a huge pot of them. Thankfully it was given to another group but jeez that camp was awful. For 300 pounds for 7 days of camp, I'd rather take a RyanAir flight to wherever the cheapest destination is and stay there for a couple of days!!

[@SMey54]

Teacher’s BF needs to be expelled.

[@justkittensbeingkittens5892]

The only thing that matters is if the kids are happy and healthy. If the extra support from op makes that happen then that’s great. It’s horrible to stress the kids out just because of pettiness.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 1: NTA. The boy making a sexual remark IS HARRASMENT. What the heck is wrong with the BF? Story 2: NTA. He wasted CPS time and resources and was being extra petty because he didn't want to watch kids. Also, divorce that guy. Seriously WTF. Story 3: NTA. Your dad is bringing random guys and leaving them alone with you. That is a serious safety issue.

[@voxkine9385]

Story 1: it’s no longer high school and it probably wouldn’t be unlikely that this could result in a sexual harassment charge by the school if the girl wanted. He got off easy. I’m 30, and have had/still have those thoughts, it’s a natural thing to think, BUT I NEVER had the audacity to voice those opinions in the middle of class. Can’t crucify anyone for a thought, but you can for their actions. He should have known better 10 years before this incident, much less undergrad. NTA, but I’d follow up with the girl and notify your department.

[@Mewse1203]

That boyfriend in #1 right. Boys do need to learn. Best way to learn? Receiving quick and brutal punishment gor their wrong doing. NTA

[@videofan1010]

OP#1 Time to reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend.

[@annvictor9627]

It's been a few years since I read it, but SCHOOL SUCCESS FOR KIDS WITH AUTISM by Engel, et al, had tips for helping siblings adjust to the autistic child's needs. Those tips might work for live-in cousins as well.