Star Trek: Picard Episodes 6,7, and 8 - re:View

[@lyoko619]

"I am not doing Discovery Season 3. I refuse." *Rich Evans will return in Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 re:View*

[@victorwagner2423]

Avengers/Always Sunny theme intensifies

[@o.oo.o5637]

They will absolutely suck him in somehow

[@arlostein1000]

Victor Wagner curb your enthusiasm but doomwave

[@HDMe2]

In Morgan Freeman's voice... "But Rich Evans would return..."

[@maybeimortal5697]

@@o.oo.o5637 no their gonna make him a Borg and strap him to the chair just so they can have an arbitrary action scene where rich has to remember his humanity as dick the birthday boy and be filled with rage it was on Ellen only to finally get revenge on mike for torturing him by making it so mike cant cancel his CBS all access account

[@tein357]

Who else is just watching these recaps instead of the show?

[@masiczobe6074]

What show?

[@adamj6645]

Yep

[@SnowyNightFlyer]

They watch it so we don’t have to.

[@maxrampertshammer]

This is all the entertainment I need.

[@88kurtg88]

I am, mos def. I definitely didn't see Star Wars 9, cause like why would I when I can get the recap of the crap that it was from these guys? And the most important part - the guys and gal of RLM are not only intelligent and intuitive, they're also FUCKING HILARIOUS!!! K.

[@aninnocentmannerism2314]

"that is so dumb, that has to be true" - Kurtzman's law

[@MichaelPohoreski]

An Innocent Mannerism -- Klutzman's Law /s

[@blackholegenerator6831]

Rich is a Q.

[@blackholegenerator6831]

Out casted to suffer mortality and crippling diabetes

[@blackholegenerator6831]

@@jus_sanguinis pure scifi is not for women it is for brains on legs that don't feel anything

[@theguardian8317]

"Mike.... you really want to make another Star Trek Picard episode?" I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of RLM infected themselves with corona so the could "self-isolate"

[@Sleelan]

"Not only are they ripping off Mass Effect, they are ripping off the bad one" I always knew Rich was a man of culture.

[@yew2489]

He talked about Mass Effect 3 often on the PreRec streams

[@noukami22]

Except that concept is from Mass Effect 1.

[@123sleepygamer]

I am sure he means 3 being the bad one, I loved it but that's just me. I figured when he said "ripping off the bad one" I thought me meant Andromeda

[@grandpathong]

great multiplayer, though.

[@danieltobin4498]

3 wasn't bad, it was just the ending that was mediocre

[@scottpoet]

I never realized this, Rich laughing, is also Rich crying.

[@evilspacewizardwithnostory935]

"That's Rich!"

[@o.oo.o5637]

Hes a complicated man

[@toweypat]

O.o o.O no one understands him but his woman.

[@BlindAlex117]

Such is life

[@aesen161]

@@toweypat his woman is mike

[@iceParadox1819]

"the Romulan sister will explode into a bloody red mist" Mike's a fake Star Trek fan. Clearly she would explode into a bloody green mist

[@nsalegit9482]

A L E X K U R T Z M A N

[@jamescrow4915]

Alex kurtzman gave me AAAAAIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDSSSSSS

[@jiin6]

Kurtzman gave me the macarena Virus

[@hannibalburgers477]

But I remember that Romulans have grey bloods

[@Ya_Mosura]

@@bulbulovo I'm suprised they're not using lightsabers.

[@swagromancer]

"We should kill things we're afraid of - that is not a message that should ever be on Star Trek." Rich Evans is a gentleman and a scholar.

[@casbyness]

Don't you mean pure Id and ego? :D

[@swagromancer]

@@casbyness That's what it will be in the Rich Evans biopic. Written and directed by Alex Kurtzman.

[@boredfartless4221]

Mike said something similar about the Gorn in his Starship Troopers review, because he and his crew are tiresome hippies who would never apply their logic in the real world

[@Sawta]

Remember that episode of TNG, "Suddenly Human", where the Enterprise discovers a training ship of Talerian teenagers, and one human, unconscious and severely injured from a training accident? Picard goes on to basically treat the kid as his own adoptive child, finds out he's the grandson of a Star Fleet Admiral (one who proceeds to contact him and express her sincere joy and shock at him being alive), and then Picard insists that he go to live with his distant relatives. Towards the climax of the episode, the Talerian captain, the one who essentially had the child's parents killed, then adopted the human child as his own, and raised him, and threatens to go to war with the entire Federation if the kid isn't returned to him. The Talerian's are *severely* outmatched and could essentially be blown up with one hit by any ship in the fleet. Well, at the very end of the episode, Picard and the crew come to realize that what they were prescribing onto this kid - this literal human child, who had living human relatives - was wrong, because the environment in which he was raised, the only family he has known for the majority of his life (flashbacks aside) is with his adoptive captors. Picard admits his failure, apologizes to the other captain _and to the child_ and returns the kid to his adoptive father. It's an act of not just humanity, but of humility. It's introspection and reflection. Taking the kid back "home" at that point would have amounted to kidnapping, and the Talerian war would have been justified, even if they never could have hoped to have won it. Now compare that to literally anything in STP, or STD. When people say that these two series "aren't Star Trek", they don't mean that there's "too many female roles", or "too many minorities", or any other tripe I've seen played off as "the REAL reason why fans despise the show". No. The reason is because STP and STD *literally aren't Star Trek* . They share no similarities, outside of rank, ship model, and insignia, to _anything_ from TOS - STE. If you want an even more glaring comparison between the actual plot lines of STD and STP, look at the episode "Evolution", season 3, episode 1 from TNG. Wesley accidentally creates sentient life, which takes control of the ship, which nearly results in someone who has spent decades preparing for a specific "stellar explosion" which only occurs every 196 years, and Picard doesn't try to wipe out that life, risking the entire mission, because he finds this _literally brand new life form_ to be of a higher value than a once in a life time science expedition and possibly his career in Star Fleet. His duty isn't to the badge, but to his ethics. His motivation isn't to wipe anything out for reasons of vengeance, but to understand and cherish the inherent value of all living things. It's a innate sense of burden, of respect, of admiration for the creation and existence of all creatures. Anyway Picard Data Borg laser shoot now space noise

[@nurlindafsihotang49]

Yep. And a *inspiring technology*. The same that made all those trekkie to go and invent things like what they saw in startrek, BECAUSE THE TECHNOLOGY OR SPACE PHENOMENON ARE CREATED WITH CONSULTATIONS WITH ACTUAL SCIENTIST. This is sci-fi! Science should be the backdrops of the story. The creator of STD did not understand why many botanist, biologist, physic nerds trekkie got so mad and lost interest. Because it is all "cool spore with space huge water cow snort on it to jumps around in space". And after i read about the *INITIAL STORY* for that series, that the spore was purpose for terraformed a dead planet, seeing we tried to do that in 10+ years from now, .... ........i hate cbs and bad robot now...

[@Sawta]

​@@Shenaldrac You made some great points, and I even agree to a degree. There's a few lines in the episode that I can't remember word-for-word, but it goes something like, Captain: "It is our custom to take what we please as spoils of war." Picard: "Including children!?" Captain: "What is done, is done. None of his people were left to care for him. If we had not taken him, he would have starved to death." Throughout the episode, the kid doesn't even accept that he is human, and apparently has been raised to believe that he isn't one for the majority of his life. The question of asking which people the kid would prefer to be with comes up, but it's (kind of...?) clear that he wants to stay with his captives, because he believes that to be his "true" family. As an interesting side note: They also show the kid have flashbacks to his parents being killed, which adds even more complexity to the situation. He literally vaguely remembers the traumatic event, but chooses to ignore it. Regardless of how we feel about the outcome of the episode, I don't think either side is wrong, because it's such a complicated situation. It calls into question the concept of identity, the ethics of adoption, cultural beliefs, dealing with teenagers, and use of force. It's what I love about classic TNG. A similar episode in complexity is "The Enemy" s3e7. A person is injured and they need (someone) to donate blood or he will die. The injured doesn't want (person) to donate to him because it will "taint" him. (Person) doesn't want to donate to the injured because of their past. It takes some pretty unexpected turns, and the outcome is an extreme grey area - do you let someone choose their own medical treatment, even if it means they might die, or is the chance to save someone's life more important than their wishes and beliefs? I strongly encourage you to check it out if you haven't seen it. It's a great one!

[@jcore0981]

@@Shenaldrac The amount of people that hate Rey for her character vastly outweighs the three Redditors who hate women. Remember, Ashoka Tano is one of the most popular SW characters ever. It's not a hatred of women, it's a hatred of terribly written characters.

[@jcore0981]

@@ShenaldracOh, I thought you were on the other side. Nvm. But it might literally be three people. Have you ever met anyone who actually hates Rey cause she's a woman?

[@jcore0981]

@@Shenaldrac There is forced diversity. That's not like a toxic opinion that's a fact. They openly said they wanted as many diverse people as possible as well as having a brand called "The Force is Female" Hell John Boyega openly said his character pretty much became just a token black guy screaming Rey.

[@skeletonwizard708]

"The quiet, reserved, intellectual captain who always spoke diplomatically and was always concerned for others feelings. Yes, pure ego and Id on him." Somehow this is the saddest part of all this.

[@OlOleander]

@Redresseny Because he grinds up material to make fodder for the trough, and the swine line up to pay to consume it.

[@Johnny-rx4hs]

@Redresseny Because as long as the checks keep coming they couldn't give a shit.

[@luckyspurs]

The actor has a bit of ego, the character doesn't.

[@isodoublet]

@Redresseny Oy vey

[@Keldiur]

@@Johnny-rx4hs Actually since the rights of Star Trek are slowly becoming whole again this Secret Hideout/Bad Robot fiasco might finally come to an end. The proof is basically CBS All Access failing and the guns with the money (Netflix and Amazon) keep wanting out. Also pair that with NOTHING new Kurtzman has pitched in the last 2 - 3 years not getting green lit we can see the end of this whole debacle. If they do not produce a movie in like 5 years, any rights Bad Robot has to Star Trek or their contracts are gone. Couple that with the newly formed Viacom trying to shove Secret Hideout into the cold and we will AT LEAST be at the end of this train wreck. New Star Trek though... even in old cannon... going to have to wait another decade for that. Might not be any good either. Most of this info paraphrased from nuggets from Midnight's Edge. Love their ST stuff. Lets hope it's all true.

[@Antillles]

Riker will appear at the final battle... flying his forcefield house into the fight, while his wife shoots from the windows.

[@TacoWrath95]

Wrong, Troi will fly the house, and ends up crashing it.

[@danfawcett88]

I lol'd

[@Aix_Plainer]

He will ground the Romulans and the Synthetics with harsh words. And afterwards he will make Pizza for everyone.

[@brunomunemassa8266]

She'll be shooting a 12 gauge for some reason too.

[@dansokil7856]

@@Aix_Plainer did somebody say pizza rolls?

[@Jon-ey4el]

This show is painful to watch, seeing people that you appreciate being old and tired. Not their original selves, all the joy drained from them. Star Trek Picard isn't great either.

[@middlebit]

The pay probably is, though...

[@turtleanton6539]

Yup

[@itsd0nk]

Pretty my sums up my exact feelings while trying to stomach through these Picard episodes. The only silver lining is that I'm happy for their pay checks they're getting.

[@jeremytuttle9439]

👑

[@Dev518]

Sounds like this other Sci-fi franchise I know with a similar name.

[@gustavoperezramirez2717]

"I'm afraid to say anything 'cause it would be so horribly mean spirited." Rich has just wrote my epitaph.

[@onionhat745]

I like how Rich is cynical about everything but the true, gentle meaning of Star Trek.

[@pensiring7112]

Hey, all of us people looking cynical aren't cynical because we don't care - we are all cynical to hide the crying child inside us wishing for a brighter future.

[@pensiring7112]

​@@claudiolluberes111 What tells you we are not trying? Just because you want something to happen and work towards it doesn't mean it will actually happen.

[@amelzon1]

@@pensiring7112 that’s beautifully put. Surprised nobody had said so.

[@KinoQuint]

In response to the current health crisis Redlettermedia is cancelling Rich Evans' diabetes medication

[@namename-xn3de]

The fact that RedLetterMedia had to stop Rich's selfish behavior is sickening

[@Rick586]

I can’t believe that degenerate what stealing precious toilet paper (as proved by that paparazi image prominently displayed throughout this episode). How could an upstanding NaMBLA member fall so far?!

[@maw9406]

IS CORONAVIRUS REPLACING RICH EVAAAANS?

[@Rick586]

@@maw9406 Yes.

[@onlineenglish7065]

Nooooo! We need him

[@CK-bv3qb]

Poor Rich Evans. Being forced to watch Picard against his will by evil Mike.

[@ichmich9324]

Plot twist! Mike is behind it all! He sponsored STD and wrote for Picard just to make sure Rich suffers. I feel you Mike. This Schmock always tells people that he is rich

[@conwayandwhitmanman]

Rich Evans is a sadomasochist confirmed.

[@darkstar932]

I really don't get why he keeps doing this. He is doing exactly what he mocks. Like all the Star Wars fanboys, he complains about it, but as soon as something comes out with the Star Trek brand, he runs back into the massive auditorium to watch it again (and give money to those who made it).

[@chrisjernigan1912]

DO IT

[@drifter402]

Mike just doesn't want to suffer alone

[@ChalfantNBC]

mike and richs pure , deep and unrelenting hatred for alex kurtzman is so inpsiring

[@somecuriosities]

Made me laugh way more than it should 😂

[@djangofett4879]

it's not deep and unrelenting hatred, it's just an objective analysis of how much of an absolute piece of garbage Alex kurtzman is

[@ANTIStraussian]

@@djangofett4879 I can forgive Alex for almost anything except for his misunderstanding between solar systems and galaxies

[@aarondavis8943]

@@ANTIStraussian The Alex Kurtzman black holes are also unforgiveable. The technical term is a "Kurtzman Field".

[@BoleDaPole]

Pretty sure they are just playing characters for a KZbin show and IRL they could care less about star trekking

[@Copenharvest]

Ah to be living in a time when a video of people talking about a show, is infinitely better and more entertaining, than the show itself.

[@rivolinho]

Yep if a reality tv character was US president and a deadly pandemic was sweeping the globe, I'd almost think it was the end of the world

[@nunchuckfilms]

It seems almost every video of people talking about any show is better than pretty much every show themselves.

[@Hack_The_Planet_]

Copenharvest to be fair at the movies with Siskel and Ebert have some great episodes about terrible movies, and on cinema at the cinema of course

[@Shiirow]

they are coming up with logical reasons for everything to happen that even kurtzman and his team of writers never even conceived of. which makes it all the more entertaining because it borders on conspiracy theories.

[@nurlindafsihotang49]

And how dare I to think that this is the time FOR ACTUAL STARTREK TO BE AIRED. NOT THOSE GRIMDARK WHATEVER!?

[@tranquilflames]

Rich already thinks STP is ripping off Mass Effect and he hasn't even watched ep9 yet to learn that the alternative dimension synthetics are literally the reapers and are going to come and wipe out all organic life.

[@pkpckls]

Which Mass Effect ripped off from Revelation Space!

[@jackalope99999]

@@pkpckls fuck yeah revelation space, good reference

[@jiripodivin5409]

@@pkpckls Eh, not exactly. The ancient menace coming to kill everyone, yes. But not their motives or general setting. Not that the motive the Reapers were given by Bioware made sense. I wish went with original draft, where the reapers are killing everyone to save galaxy from the titular Mass Effect, which is ripping stars apart.

[@pkpckls]

@@jiripodivin5409 The Inhibitors have essentially the same motivations as The Reapers though don't they; to protect life in the future, life in the present has to be pruned. And the artifacts they leave lying around as traps to detect when life gets too dangerously advanced seem to be (ahem) "inspiration" for the equivalents in ME and ST:P.

[@aznthy]

@@pkpckls Your whataboutism isn't a defense on STP ripping off things. You stupid fuck.

[@wanderinghistorian]

Wait..."Shut the F up!" is a REAL line from this show that an ADMIRAL says? Good lord.

[@swagromancer]

Modern Trek has to drop the F-bomb every episode now.

[@norassoras356]

@gatheringoflight And he was only doing that to break recruits to reforge them into mean green killing machines (And went to far) for top brass to behave like that only cruder, and without purpose is just disgusting.

[@JosephDavies]

It's basically all she's said in her two appearances. And she's supposed to be a "good guy".

[@Kambrius70]

Yeah, the rest of Starfleet calls her “Admiral Tourette’s” behind her back.

[@wdcain1]

That so bugs me because Wesley's time at Starfleet Academy showed how careful and thoughtful cadets had to be when dealing with alien races and their different cultural norms. He even got points because he realized that being argumentative with a Tellarite was a good thing by their culture and got right in their face to yell back at them. Both Kurtzman Trek shows just revel in darkness and meanspiritness with not even bothering to give any substance.

[@piousl]

"Unless the show is so dumb they just sweep [Agnes being a murderer] under the rug...." Yep, Rich, you were right

[@desmondd1984]

Rich was right about fucking everything.

[@chancethefapper4528]

Season 2 doubles down on this!

[@FernandoRaulAstrology]

Im not watching Picard. Im just watching this.

[@SDCGI]

Sam Clegg watch Star Trek the next generation

[@SDCGI]

Sam Clegg we are fans of Star Trek not jj abrams madness mystery box “storytelling”

[@SDCGI]

Sam Clegg Mike and rich are right tho. Dumb does sell

[@lazarzekovic5586]

@@SDCGI I am kind of shocked this guy had the audacity to say he loves the show. I mean you can like it if you have never seen any previous series. absolutely dumb does sell and and they are selling it wrapped in shit.

[@FernandoRaulAstrology]

Sam Clegg ive watched all episodes of the star trek series. After discovery I know all new trek is extremely low quality for REAL fans. After the series ends I will watch it via some sort of pirate service but I refuse to give not even a penny to watch this after Discovery.

[@austin2362]

Stay back Mike, that guy looks like someone I saw with the Macarena virus.

[@chrischickering1959]

Lollll

[@averyjackblack7420]

😂😂😂

[@ijustworkhere1008]

If I had a nickel for every Romulam all-female secret society, I’d have 2 nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

[@skeletonwizard708]

Two nickles is also a weird amount of money to be carrying around.

[@ElOchentero]

Technically the order of nuns wasn't secret

[@suryakumars]

Why couldn't the one with Elnor be an offshoot of the Zat Vash? Like they eventually didn't agree with the lengths they were willing to go. They split up and use their training for good.

[@ElOchentero]

In any case the Kolnar (I think that was the name of the order that raised Elnor) was the opposite of a secret group, they were known for been too much direct and straightforward for the standards of Romulan society

[@UrsaFrank]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz?

[@frankmerker630]

Alex Kurtzman is the ultimate villain in the Red Letter Media Cinematic Universe

[@aaronwebb1548]

So Lucas is the Vader to Kurtzman's Palpatine? I guess FuckBot-5000 is Captain Phasma?

[@danlastname407]

Star Trek: Discovery is like Alex Kurzman's main dish at his own dinner party was just a can of creamed corn. Star Trek: Picard is like Michael Chabon ordered take-out pizza for his dinner party but discovered Alex Kurtzman in the kitchen spreading creamed corn on the pizza.

[@Arkturus88]

That's so true, deep and sad.

[@the7percentsolution]

Omg I love that, lol.

[@TheJohnnyonthespot1]

Garmonbozia.

[@zetetick395]

Otherwize known as Kurtzman garmanbozia

[@Puggleh]

@@TheJohnnyonthespot1 Has there been a good version of Alex Kurtzman trapped in the Black Lodge all this time

[@ShadeUnderTheSoul]

"Sheer despair broke the Borg cube" I think I just had an aneurysm. I guess all those billions of people assimilated by the Borg just weren't sad enough about it?

[@cgvapors963]

LMAO! I swear Picard may be the worst thing to have ever come to Star Trek. It might even be worse than Discovery, but it's a close call. I feel like the entire loyal Trek fanbase that loved it since the '60s have been completely betrayed. I guess they don't care because they're trying to establish a newer, younger fanbase for Trek which has nothing to do with the old guard so to speak. They want to turn it into Star Wars so they can sell the products. Old Trek fans aren't a group that they can sell dumb, mindless products to. Old Trek fans love plausible science and thoughtful stories. That's too much work for this new gang to be bothered with.

[@Johnny-rx4hs]

Alex Kurtzman must have learned how to write by watching the Star Wars prequels.

[@swagromancer]

@@cgvapors963 But why tho? That's the part I don't understand. Fans are essentially customers. Shouldn't the people who run these multi billion dollar corporations have some fundamental understanding of how business works? How and why can somebody get the idea that it would be reasonable to essentially alienate your entire customer base for the sake of cultivating a new one? Or are they even so delusional to think they can completely change the product they're selling and somehow *keep* all their old customers while attracting new ones? I don't understand how somebody can be so dense, I can't wrap my brain around it, and it's already folding in on itself.

[@cgvapors963]

@@swagromancer I'm with you on that. The only thing I can think of is they are betting on the long run. They feel that the core fan base of Trek are unmarketable now, and are growing old. I'm guessing they want to cultivate a newer, younger base that they will not be as interested in hard science or continuity. This will allow the writers more freedom and again allow them to market products to newer fans more easily. That's only my guess. I really hope it backfires in their faces though if that's the plan.

[@swagromancer]

@@cgvapors963 You might be completely on the money with that guess. And if that's true, it absolutely *will* backfire in their faces, because the things they get rid of *are* the things that get fans invested. Without continuity, logic and actual worldbuilding, there's nothing for a long-term fanbase to latch on to. Maybe you get people to consume your product, but those people won't be buying Picard merchandise for the next few decades of their lives. They will move on to the next thing as soon as your show is over.

[@Clakpo73]

When I get my haircut, I ask for the “Rich Evans”.

[@chandlerrabatin9865]

Samuel Smith Is that where they just give you AIDS

[@lilmoeszyslak4810]

No it's crippling diabetes!!!!?

[@intheblues]

🤣

[@karmabad6287]

Did they light your hair on fire?

[@baddabeer4862]

Same here. Also called the one dollar no tipping

[@quickpawmaud]

I have never seen a single episode of Star Trek but I have watched Mike and Rich complain about it for over 20 hours and I would watch 100 more.

[@allenpoe17]

Yeah they are fun to watch.

[@prodevus]

Man you are missing out. They’re gonna spoil everything for you! Go watch TNG!

[@cerberusmutt4252]

"And I would watch 100 more, just to be the fan who watched a thousand hours of Star Trek Deep Space Lore."

[@CasLee]

@@cerberusmutt4252 bah da da daht dah

[@PhilipBosleyMusic]

"When I mind meld, well I know I'm gonna be... etc."

[@MichaelB-jw5po]

"They want to make a show and they want to get paid, but they don't care about the source material." Mike really hit the nail right on the head with that one.

[@_Ciaran_Maher]

It did hurt hearing him saying Patrick Stewart never cared about the character of Picard though. I think modern Trek has been like a massive dose of cynicism directly into Mikes veins

[@luke-rd8nt]

This quote can be applied to literally everything right now

[@MonteLeeMyPOV]

I think PS does care about the character. He is more interested in that characters arc.

[@Stiltonator]

Maybe Patrick Stewart is just an old man who wants to leave as much money as possible behind to his remaining family before he dies and he'll take every oppertunity to fulfil that real-world-duty before appeasing the masses of internet nobodies he doesn't give a shit about. No offence.

[@jayteegamble]

@@Stiltonator Well yeah, that's what we're saying

[@nolandavis1129]

It’s great that Seven of Nine’s quest in Voyager to break her dependence on the collective and finding her humanity ends with her becoming a violent psychopath and going back to the borg. Thanks Kurtzmen

[@nolandavis1129]

Lassi Kinnunen oh I see. He decided to take the David Benioff and D.B. Weiss Game of Thrones approach.

[@MariaIsabellaZNN]

It's possible he may have thought people wanted to see this because all he knows about Seven is that she is an ex Borg. Which is incidentally the only thing I know about her. I couldn't stand Voyager after Kes got replaced.

[@davidkeys4284]

@@MariaIsabellaZNN Voyager was better without Kes

[@davidkeys4284]

@@Nothinglastsforever 7 is hotter

[@zstpierre]

I have not seen a single episode of Picard, but just come here to watch Mike and Rich's magnificent takedown of this show.

[@ursknorke561]

Their hate shows as that once they must have loved

[@ioncladstudio2688]

Thanks to people (masters) like these two.. and Nerdrotic, DVD, and others.. I have avoided Star Wars: rise of soywoker.. Star TP.. sad.. but better than having this viral trash in your head.. I am very thankful to RedLetterMedia for their work.. :)

[@emile1365]

I'm sure you mean Mike and Rich's _breakdown_ over Picard!

[@Thenameispurple]

I grab the popcorn every time :)

[@amadeusdebussy6736]

This show is a continuation of Star Trek the same way a show about Jesse Pinkman riding around in a van with his family solving spooky mysteries and singing songs would be a continuation of Breaking Bad.

[@amadeusdebussy6736]

@@cakestalker Yes

[@luiginastro8831]

Y'know what, I'd watch that

[@dylanbuchanan6511]

@@amadeusdebussy6736 I’d watch the hell out of that. He’d make for a great Shaggy.

[@thegreywanderer8427]

The reason why there are swearing female leaders on the show is that The Expanse also has a female Earth president who swears when stressed.

[@stevew8513]

Plus, the fear of artificial intelligence wiping out all life was on Battlestar Galactica, and that was cool, so throw that in! It's like the writers absolutely refuse to create anything original for these shows.

[@darkstar932]

@@stevew8513 Why create something new when even people who supposedly hate it still watch it anyways? These guys are just helping them make more money by watching.

[@grandarkfang_1482]

@@darkstar932 that is the eternal dilemma of being a reviewer; it's your job to criticize these corporations' terrible decisions, but you contribute to those terrible decisions in n some way.

[@OmegaZyion]

That's the going trend of modern Star Trek. Copy shows that work without understanding why they work. Much like they did when The Orville came out.

[@denkerbosu3551]

@@darkstar932 but I get to enjoy it (being trashed) without paying them a dam, so its worth it.

[@Rune_X]

I like how even during a global pandemic, Rich still comes over and talks Star Trek with Mike. This is the type of friendship we should all strive for.

[@NealX_Gaming]

What? All the RLM guys live together in the same warehouse where their existence consists of watching old VHS tapes which they feed to Macauley Culkin in his rabbit hutch at the end of every fulfilling day.

[@jeffyang7072]

I'm pretty sure Rich is tied to a radiator with a TV that plays Picard and Discovery on repeat while not on camera.

[@One21Jiggawatts]

Rune X like he had a choice. Mike keeps him chained up in the basement and only lets him out to do videos and jerk Off his droids.

[@st2udent_650]

I don't think anything could stop these two from talking about Star Trek

[@MrInvinciblewarrior]

They are nerds, social distancing per excellence

[@askthepizzaguy]

"Sheer despair broke the Borg cube." And my will to ever watch any new Star Trek anythings ever again.

[@AmazingThor]

askthepizzaguy Sheer despair broke Rich Evans. Also diabetes and Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiids

[@Halinspark]

Star Trek: Grief Planet Me: Imma head out

[@duanebarry2817]

Sheer despair is why my car wouldn't start last weekend.

[@Medic_naturalist]

Killed Padme and now the Borg?!

[@MagCynic]

When they started venting the Borg into space I instantly thought, "Why doesn't Seven just not let them do that? Isn't she in control of the entire ship?"

[@GoodNewsEveryone01]

You two shouldn't be that close to each other. Don't you know the elderly are at greater risk?

[@TheClutchCanuck]

after all their bones are more brittle

[@johnnyjohnny3117]

Elderly and overweight.

[@markusfalk9459]

Don't break their old, frail egos with your savagery....; )

[@LTambini96]

@@tieck4408 and Rich is older than Patrick Stewart in Picard

[@seand7042]

Hey Mike doesn't look a day over 83!

[@BenDiPaolo]

"I’ve heard it described as Mass Effect meets Star Trek and I think that’s actually a pretty good summary of what makes Picard so great." A REAL sentence. Written by a REAL person. For a REAL Forbes article.

[@grandpathong]

@TimiaTriv101 when it was just armond white, he was (due to being uniquely transgressive and a good writer to boot) often insightful. now it's all trite and we don't even get that.

[@R3GARnator]

Forbes lets literally anyone write their articles no joke.

[@AltoStratusX1]

"I really liked the call back to Adam Sandlers masterpiece Click with the magic remote that solves problems." Seriously the Click remote man gave me a stroke.

[@bufboston1]

That sentence, the person and the magazine are real, Picard, however, is certainly not at all great.

[@TooLameToDie]

>Taking anything Forbes says seriously

[@JingleJangle256]

“I am not. I am not doing Star Trek Discovery Season 3. I refuse.” -Rich Evans. Yes he will. Mike will hold Rich down and force Season 3 into him if he has to.

[@mortified0]

It's like when they made Pike swallow the bug in the first JJ Trek movie

[@danmanx2]

Watching Discovery is like observing a toilet bowl that doesn't flush. You get nothing done. You accomplish nothing. You learn nothing. You experience nothing.

[@anonymouss4635]

He's gonna slip it right in. Right in there.

[@Ipraytopesci]

He will hold his diabetes medicine hostage again.

[@Myrth1]

Rich will probably watch it on his own anyway... but think about Jay

[@DimentioX7896]

"Unless the show is so dumb they just sweep it (Agnes being a murderer) under the rug and forget about it" Apparently the show was exactly that level of dumb. Bravo Rich

[@DougBongos]

So I’ve been rewatching Star Trek: TNG and noted that there isn’t a single phaser fight in the entirety of Season 2. Like when they first meet the Borg, they shoot at them but literally nothing happens in retaliation. Just interesting to note that 30 seconds of this show has more violence than entire seasons (plural) of the source material

[@divinestrike00x78]

Keymaster Comics I miss actual phasers all Discovery and Picard “phasers” are just blasters. I miss actual beams. Does anyone else hate the fact that as soon as anyone pics up a “phaser” in NuTrek it starts humming loudly. It’s so cheesy.

[@VorpalDerringer]

@@divinestrike00x78 It starts humming? The foley guys who have all the real guns make cocking sounds whenever you pick them up or move them must have gotten hired there!

[@Wayzor_]

You're confusing this bull-shit with real sci-fi.

[@the81kid]

@@divinestrike00x78 Star Wars has made $$$, therefore Star Trek must now be like Star Wars. Heck, I suggested the Battlestar Galactica remake to some friends, and they told me they couldn't finish the first episode because it was too slow! Nobody cares about story. They want an explosion every 6 seconds. Who cares about characters? Why isn't somebody exploding yet! Star Trek's dead, and even worse, you're supposed to feel bad for liking old Trek!

[@Brian-du3ou]

I think there are like THREE Torpedoes fired in the whole of The Undiscovered Country.

[@baconcleaner]

Can't wait for the next Startrek series: The federation builds arks to travel to andromeda.

[@jthom0027]

and the CG will be embarrassing

[@PsyCoCinematics]

@@jthom0027 My phasers are tired.

[@travismcnasty51]

Oh yeah, that horrible video game. Where none of that plot was ever touched upon in Mass Effect 3. Hey remember that whole galactic apocalypse? Well just before that, some random billionaire united all the races and sent them to other galaxy! Weird how it took Commander Shepard three games and fives years of his/her life to barely accomplish such a task. When it was so easy to just send everyone to Andromeda! And their faces all look horrible!

[@baconcleaner]

@@travismcnasty51 I uploaded back in 2015 a full "worst shepard" run from me1 to me3 taking only bad choices for the LOL of it, and I was exited to do one with Andromeda too... but after my first playthrough I never wanted to touch that game again. It was so bad at so many levels it doesn't deserve even the time to make fun of it.

[@Latinkon]

And there will be a new series set in the _Star Trek_ universe all about characters flying around in Iron Man suits... and the show somehow ends up being worse than either STD or Picard.

[@gracenreilly]

Hey I know you guys probably aren’t gonna see this, but Rich talking about how this show is ripping off mass effect at 43:30 made me remember that LEGENDARY hack-fraud Alex Kurtzman was/is already in one lawsuit over Star Trek: Discovery for stealing basically the entire concept for the show from an Egyptian game dev named Anas Abdin, who created the 2014 game Tardigrades, about a civilization of people who have learned they can harness the power of a giant blue tardigrade to travel anywhere in the universe instantaneously, that is linked mentally with a human subject who is a blonde, gay man in a relationship with a darker-skinned guy with a beard. I’m guessing it’s a coincidence.

[@captainquark2272]

This needs a lot more visibility. Wonder what else kurtzman has ripped off? Anyone remember that IGN editor? Almost his entire career was ripping of others including people from IGN itself

[@ash_1687]

Down to that very small detail?

[@joshuatabor8755]

Some videos by Nerdrotic on it. He ran a GoFundMe for him to be able to sue CBS

[@onlineenglish7065]

Watch out or that sneaky potty mouth will steal your hoarded toilet paper

[@michaelbaldino-kelly4991]

I hate Kurtzman, but that law suit seemed like total BS and it was dismissed. From the ruling: “Star Trek: Discovery and Plaintiff’s Videogame are not substantially similar as a matter of law in concept, characters, settings and ‘overall feel.’ In particular, the tardigrade in Star Trek: Discovery is not substantially similar to Plaintiff’s tardigrade in concept, attributes and overall feel.”... “The plots of both works are similar solely to the extent that the characters go on adventures in space, and some of the adventures involve alien tardigrades.”

[@The28House]

"So at the end of the show, is everybody just going to conveniently forget that Agnes is a horrible murderer and she's just going to be accepted?" Indeed good sir, that is precisely what is going to happen LMAO

[@nerd1601]

"Commander Riker makes a Pizza for an hour" Now THAT was the most entertaining part of STP, yet, IMHO.

[@ИванСнежков-з9й]

I also liked an episode where they stop to think for a bit, instead of blindly running from one place to another.

[@Keldiur]

@@ИванСнежков-з9й There is one writer, that sneaks off alone at night and puts in these little scenes, where he as a trekkie, can put in a little hint of once was. Not too much though lest the Kurtz catch wind that something has not exploded or been shot for the last 5 minutes. He also bribes the director to shoot it with any of the crumbs he is being paid for his work. The scenes are not great... and the more I think about it they just might be exposition dumps so all the simple folk at home understand the convoluted story or actually have some sort of character moment. Starting to go with the 2nd one.

[@JAnx01]

Sadly, he didn't really make it for an hour. But that episode would have been better if he did make it for an hour and contained the whole recipe step by step.

[@rwomble1]

Dear Alex Kurtzman: The cussing, the gory violence, and the horrible mood that everyone is in is depressing. Doesn't feel like Star Trek at all. It's not even a family show anymore.

[@CharlesP2009]

And yet these characters that don't have any camaraderie, will end up "loving" each other in the end. The show will prompt us to be teary eyed and reminisce on the "good times".

[@whodatninja439]

I bet Nemesis was his favorite Star Trek movie

[@CharlesP2009]

It's the only one he watched. They told him he had to watched something Star Trek before taking the job so he picked the last one.

[@whodatninja439]

@Wiz I read this in Mr Plinkett's voice. Pretty much every criticism from his Nemesis review could be leveled against Picard as well

[@djbred18]

Try twitter

[@SirEnglishBatman]

It warms my heart to know that Rich still hasn't forgiven ME3.

[@EinDose]

My favorite part is that he calls it 'the bad one'. He gives ANDROMEDA a pass.

[@ArkadyTunguska]

@@EinDose I thought he never even bothered to play Andromeda

[@derlich09]

@@ArkadyTunguska On PreRec he breaks the game disc before playing.

[@derlich09]

I'll NEVER forgive the ending to ME3. It's stupider than all of Kruztman's works combined.

[@ArkadyTunguska]

@@derlich09 How did he play a broken disc?

[@stoaeterna6336]

To paraphrase a wise man: Gene Roddenberry isn't rolling in his grave, he is spinning like a Beyblade.

[@ineednochannelyoutube5384]

Hook him ut to a dynamo for free energy.

[@Toasty_Britches]

@@Leon_der_Luftige it's pretty fun imagining Kirtzman yelling that

[@samhouston9162]

The spacecraft his ashes are on now has enough power to go on for the next 10,000 years

[@sharibyaku]

let it R.I.P.

[@BoleDaPole]

Roddenberry don't care dude is in his scientology heaven

[@okayalright6882]

"it's like being on a rollercoaster ride into your own grave" - Mike Stoklasa on Robot in the Family, Star Trek Picard and 2020

[@themilanguy1]

fuck that just killed me. i did a loop de loop though

[@BlindAlex117]

"That's so dumb it has to be true" seems to apply to almost everything these days, not just star trek

[@sirquaffler542]

Agreed, people thinking buying 500 rolls of toilet paper will protect them from a virus is so dumb that of course it's true.

[@BlindAlex117]

@@sirquaffler542 especially when it isnt even a shitting virus

[@walterloehrmann5213]

Besides, there are other, more sanitary, ways to clean Uranus. Using water for instance.

[@lapinbeau]

Aaaand now I'm depressed.

[@JohnBatman111]

@@BlindAlex117 everything is a shitting virus at certain point

[@danielclyde7777]

Jonathan Franks played the whole “shields up, perimeter scans to max” like a joke. But the special effects guys didn’t get the memo and actually put shields and perimeter scans on this cabin in the woods.

[@edwinmclachlan9969]

They could have had it both ways, with Picard chuckling at his friend's apparent joke before being surprised to see actual shields kicking in. Or something. Literally anything else.

[@verygermanboy6468]

“Franks”

[@quzar]

​@@edwinmclachlan9969 That would have been a wonderful little bit. And it really did seem like Frakes, knowing Trek, intended it to be closer to this.

[@kaitsobato]

Whenever i hear something like "Perimeter scans to max", i wonder what it was that made them go "Naaah, minimum range is fine, leave it at that"

[@quzar]

@@kaitsobato you'll burn out your perimeter scanners that way!

[@meruscales]

This just makes me want to rewatch Babylon 5, a show about space war, secret societies, and ancient races that actually works

[@babcomsk]

Watching these re:views made me think whether Babylon 5 did not have a much greater impact on Star Trek than previously thought, as the writers turn the Federation (from Trek) into Earth Alliance (from Babylon 5) - with all its intrigue, inequality and *-isms. The problem is that somebody somehow allowed this to happen... and thus ruined the previous dogma of Star Trek, destroying its previous values upon which it was built upon.

[@mostevil1082]

​@threedoubleyou dotcom Ignoring DS9 is not an incorrect choice. They ripped off the concept of B5 but without the smart writing or story telling, and somehow managed worse acting and effects despite having 3x the budget. I tried to re-watch it, but it really is just truly awful.

[@Spiderbloke]

@@mostevil1082 That's some awfully rosy tints on your glasses. Season 1 of B5 is terrible. Bad acting and dull stories galore. A plodding pain to sit through and not something I'd ever willfully watch again. The Gathering pilot is nowhere near as interesting as it thinks it is either. And season 5 was totally unnecessary. Seasons 2, 3 and 4 are the meat inbetween a slice of mouldy and another of stale bread.

[@hitomisalazar4073]

Funny enough I actually like a lot of Season 1 Babylon 5. But almost nothing related to the overarching plot. Like one of my favorite episodes of the series was Grail, which even JMS calls just pointless filler. But I've been thinking DS9 is kind of the problem with Modern Era Trek. Because... when focus groups ask what people's favorite series is? Often Deep Space 9 comes up. Like I see it mentioned more than TNG and way more than TOS. TAS, VOY, and ENT aren't even in the running. . Modern Trek seems to love DS9 to me. Like almost everything I see them do, is something DS9 did. But if DS9 did it on like a 6 on a 1-10 scale... modern trek kicks it up to 10 and rips off the nob. DS9 had a massive fleet on fleet battle on (some) of their season finales... so we need an even bigger one with more explosions on every one! DS9 had characters who carried secrets and lies with them and had a checkered past, so we need even more! DS9 had a captain willing to genocide planets (In Sisko's hunt for the Maquis turncoat, Mr. Wellington), so we need to do that too! We need to have religious doctrines and conflicts, because DS9 had them! It's just... tiring. Because it just makes me think I could see a more subtle, more toned down, better performing series in DS9 and not really miss anything.

[@jonmac1987]

@threedoubleyou dotcom I think Babylon 5 came out after DS9 though.

[@CousinCreepy]

Frakes/Riker looks like he's ready to star in that Orson Wells biopic now!

[@Cygnet13]

AAAAAAAH, THE FRENCH

[@neo-retroambiance4509]

I don’t like looking at that Alex Kurzman’s face, he looks like a young person in old person makeup.

[@o_o_o_o_o-o_o_o_o_o]

The appearance of his head is offensive.

[@doctorknow]

And the extreme soy look. Cant handle it.

[@user-hu6pk3zs3i]

stop being antisemites he looks perfectly normal

[@Roboshi2007]

That's because he's a child in the body of a head writer.

[@palchristianandersen9086]

All his hair and facial hair looks fake somehow.

[@ShinobiNando]

Mike: So we're doing season 3 of Discovery? Rich *pulls a sword out of nowhere* Please my friend... Choose to live!

[@bkindrewind1102]

I thought this comment was So Badass...

[@sirclownsalot5800]

jack young DID YOU WATCH THAT EPISODE OF RE:VIEW LAST NIGHT!?!?! SCIENCE FUCK YEAH!!!

[@nurlindafsihotang49]

@@sirclownsalot5800 ..."yum yum" and spock : "i like science" .... My trekkie heart just died again..

[@MarxistKnight]

I wish someone would ask Alex Kurtzmann in a televised interview: “Wow, so a beacon that gives psychotic visions about an AI wiping out all organic life to stop them creating synthetics that wipe out all organic life - where did you get such an original idea from Alex?”

[@tristanseaver9054]

Can't wait to hear Rich's opinion on Star Trek: Discovery Season 3

[@AmstradExin]

Violent THOTs

[@luckyspurs]

Love the look on Rich's face at the start of these episodes. This is the release bit; the actually watching the episodes is the despair Mike always puts him through.

[@TheSSSFilms]

The moments when Rich and Mike sit silently and process the fact that they’re making another Star Trek related video are better meditations on death than The Irishman and The Seventh Seal.

[@EmiZViolet]

+

[@mrmeatman]

It just keeps getting worse. In more ways than one.

[@tisisonlytemporary]

the last four years are just a prequel for 2021....

[@luckyspurs]

Everyone's stuck in their homes with nothing to do; Picard still loses audience.

[@SnapdragonFilm]

mrmeatman get outta here dunky, there’s no use using your alt account you can’t fool my big boy brain.

[@gabbyprincip1575]

With so many horrible things happening lately makes you wonder, how it could possibly get worse?

[@gabbyprincip1575]

@@tisisonlytemporary We are lucky if we get to July or August

[@martindouglass3248]

If Kurtzman and company really believe in all the "love and hard work" that they say went into this abomination, let's see them show up on a panel at a Star Trek convention or two to discuss it. I won't pay CBS for Picard or Discovery, but I'd pay good money to see that.

[@dwaynezilla]

"not are they ripping off Mass Effect 3, they're ripping off the bad one for some reason" In the past few months, Rich has been proving to me he's that goofy character who's actually a secret genius. He catches a lot of things that would go by the other two. He seems like an awesome guy to bounce whatever ideas off of.

[@Khazuki_]

he's too good to be the butt of Mike's jokes

[@MysticCouchPotato]

Khazuki the fact he’s the best of them is exactly why he HAS TO BE the butt of Mike’s jokes. If they don’t tear him down every once in a while, you would never see the need for Mike or Jay

[@dullyart]

what melts my brain though is he's referencing the beacon vision, which is in all three games. but i'll take any excuse to throw 3 under the bus one more time

[@vlad4o813]

Kinda disagree with Rich's take on Mass Effect 3 though. It can hardly be called "the bad one" when Andromeda exists.

[@Turamwdd]

@@vlad4o813 Well, on my better days, I forget Andromeda even exists. Maybe that is the case here.

[@Zelkiiro]

Random Romulan: "doot doo-doo just a Romulan living on a random world doin' my job, never been off-world in my life, just a peaceful ordinary--WHAT?! The Romulan homeworld has been destroyed?! OHHHH NOOOOOOOO I'M A SPACE REFUGEE NOOOOWWWWW"

[@ShadowtheRenamon]

No but don't you see? See the meeeeeeeaning and the SUBTLETY?!

[@conan2096]

@Lady Wanderer if theyre from la they might already live in a shanty town lol.

[@toweypat]

Lady Wanderer that would be as stupid as the First Order ruling the galaxy just because they blew up the Capitol!

[@Zelkiiro]

@@toweypat Well, the First Order is more like a rogue terrorist state that happened upon hundreds of nuclear missiles while actually having the capability of launching them; they can browbeat any country (Read: Star system) into submission because they're just crazy enough to use them.

[@veeclash4157]

"Please my friend, choose to live!!" Coolest line ever written. Only topped by classics such as "Sheer F**ING Hubris!" and "STFU Picard!!"

[@cheeseburgersuperior1874]

Can I use that line on a coronavirus infected friend of mine?

[@ryuoh6928]

I ain't even a trekkie, and yet I'm learning a disturbing ammount about Star Trek and what it's all about just from listening to these two...

[@halowaffle25]

@Redresseny what season did you watch? Please do not say 1.

[@halowaffle25]

@Redresseny Yeahhhh that's the biggest issue with TNG. Season one is almost entirely devoid of good episodes, lmao. Season 2 has some good stuff that you might want to go back and watch, but it's much less consistent than season 3 onwards.

[@tcschenks]

800,000 fighter ships, thousands of Borg Cubes, and then someone plays The Beastie Boys over the ship’s comms.

[@dodojesus4529]

And its heard from space

[@Around_blax_dont_relax]

@@dodojesus4529 alex kurtzman doesnt like science, he doesnt want to understand it.

[@Toasty_Britches]

Cue the Plinkett's returned colostomy bag scene.

[@trekadam30]

SABOTAGE!

[@Pauly421]

Beastie boys playing over the whole crew farting and scrambling to the toilets with the shits cos of bad replicator rations

[@ruyvazquez1588]

"They're ripping off Mass Effect" So Star Trek Picard ending will be either blue, red or green?

[@PorkFork]

Green ending probably, everyone will become Data!

[@hiltibrant1976]

Most likely they'll make it more nuanced... so a mix of red and green. That'd be brown.

[@Andron152]

@@PorkFork Everyone will be borg!

[@MrTereos]

@@hiltibrant1976 just a huge turd

[@PorkFork]

@@MrTereos It's all about symbolism! the brown will symbolize the pile of shit Hurtzmann has created!

[@ely_oh]

Mike and Rich are more likely to die from watching Geria Trek: Picard than the Coronavirus.

[@darkstar932]

Yet these geezers keep giving CBS money and views anyways, thus paving the way for more crap Star Trek shows.

[@nitewarden]

That was good :O

[@MFSeaMen]

Amazing Pun

[@DudeMcAwesome]

When that red gas came out...I said "Oh shit, they are pulling a Phantom Menace assassination?"

[@YevOnegin]

Making people watch Picard is Mike's version of the casting couch.

[@nsalegit9482]

He's becoming plinkett. Soon he will be force feeding ladies of Ill repute pizza rolls while forcing them to watch all terrible nu trek content

[@brunovega6479]

this is feels oddly accurate

[@scottl9660]

This webzone is awesome

[@Kurzula5150]

20th century Star Trek: "Captain, I can't get a lock-on to the target." "Fire manually, Mr Sulu. Photon torpedoes, full spread." "Aye sir. Firing." 21st century Star Trek: "Captain, we're losing gyro-stabilisation on the camera." "Do we still have lens flare?" "Lens flare is fully operational, sir." "Engage."

[@chrislaverick]

Only just seen this...spot on 👏👏👏

[@AltoStratusX1]

More like "Captain this fucking ship is FUuuuuCkkkked. Oh Shit! Lieutenant use the hypergyroscopic energy from the solar flares temporal lobe to mathematically compute the target! Motherfucking science is fucking cool. Fire! Kill them all!"

[@maxis2k]

The mark of a bad writer is someone who throws emotion into everything, but without motive or development to why they're angry/sad. TNG was all about showing the development of characters. Sometimes taking the whole episode to build to a powerful emotion at the very end. Abrams/Kurtzman Star Trek is about throwing as much anger, sadness and action in an episode as possible, but avoiding the how or why. When you go to a Writing 101 class, literally the first thing you learn is that writing is explaining the how and why. I know everyone here knows this, I'm just explaining it to Abrams/Kurtzman and their "writers." Because they don't understand the most basic rules of writing. Or they're purposefully doing the opposite to "subvert" everything. You know those Hollywood guys and their subversions!

[@jp5394]

@@100Wilbur999 that explains the story quality of the new star wars movies

[@rotwang2000]

I think it's the idea that they are better by virtual chronology and apply self-awareness and second-guessing to everything. Writing is no longer organic, it relies on baiting an audience and then hit them with enough emotion or nostalgia. Characters no longer have a personality, they have wild emotions as placeholders. Plotlines are kept up long enough to deliver the jolt and then dropped because story no longer matters, people just want a high and the feeling they watched something impressive, when they are just getting a contrived display of emotional fireworks.

[@SylentVoidkeeper]

rotwang2000 I think it’s honestly one of the big problems that has arisen since serialization has become such a big trend in television. Hack Writers don’t need to come up with interesting self contained stories with endings, escalation of stakes, and really any development anymore. They just need to waffle around and then set up something for the next few episodes and that’s what they’re satisfied with

[@kevintipcorn6787]

didn't they just kill a character off for his support of hollywood subversion?

[@maxis2k]

@@shrekislove1509 Music in modern TV is even more dead than script writing is, if you can believe it. I mean, think back to any prime time show in the last decade. Can you remember a single bit of music from it? 90% of the time, it's just some synth strings playing over a "dramatic" dialogue scene or a generic pop ballad at the end of the episode. Basically every show has copied the NCIS/Law and Order formula in how they handle music. But I suppose we shouldn't be surprised when 90% of prime time TV are just generic procedurals. So of course they're just going to copy the music (and writing) of the most popular procedural.

[@testuser1337]

Alex Kurtzman get's up every day, makes a new YT Account and dislikes this video.

[@Toasty_Britches]

No he pays someone to do that with the absurdly misappropriated budget he's been given to prop up this show.

[@hastekulvaati9681]

“... Alex Kurtzman get's up every day, makes a new YT Account” No, Alex Kurtzman get’s up every day and thinks of cool TV shows and films from my childhood that he can ruin. Hey, how about a Kurtzman Twin Peaks prequel show that really focuses much more on the action and adventure!

[@staceyann1180]

@@hastekulvaati9681 SHUT UP! He might hear you!

[@hugovincent5077]

Mike: "he's brave and he fights for a worthless cause..." Rich: "Hopeless cause" MIke: "Hopeless cause" They're so good

[@Dreadnaught98]

"They're not just ripping off Mass effect 3, they're ripping off the BAD one." Thank you for this.

[@CoercedJab]

Well a lot of mass effect 3 is great. Solid pay off for the Geth. Also the genophage. Etc Andromeda is the bad one. All around. Mass effect 3 is the one with the bad ending. Horrible ending.

[@cogwheel5979]

@Paraponera Andromeda is a STD

[@catoblepasomega]

Could at least have ripped off Revelation Space, the series that Mass Effect based the Reapers off of. Somehow I don't think Kurtzman reads that much scifi though.

[@TheDaruma]

@Paraponera For real. Remember the sidequests that were literally "Exist in system y. Return to general vicinity of quest giver y in Citadel. Check e-mails at terminal for meaningless quest dialog." Cool space battle cinematics though.

[@richardcahill1234]

A more accurate way of describing the Mass Effect series is "Mass Effect 1 - the only good one."

[@SpudMackenzie]

They made "No good deed goes unpunished" one of Newton's laws when it's already Rule of Acquisition number 285? smdh.

[@isodoublet]

One of Newton's laws "of thermodynamics", get it right lmfao.

[@prolamer7]

They have no idea about anything beside few TNG movies... they cant be bothered with that old crapp :-DD they are TOP TIER WRITERS

[@InAnimateGamer]

Only to see (and overuse) Section 31, under the most superficial lenses.

[@iansarmy1]

I think it was a call back to a line from Geordi in TNG.

[@PretzelsandNutz]

I think what irks me about these reboots, remakes and the like is that the writers pretend to have all this disingenuous reverence for the original material, but once they start writing there’s so much contempt for the characters and themes that it’s just clear they don’t understand the original material or actively hate it even though they can’t come up with anything new on their own.

[@Neodeleux]

This is hollywood 101. I believe it steems from directors/writers who have their own story in mind but can't seem to get it be picked up by a single producer, so they instead default on using an already established IP as the basis of their pitch and then proceed to just tell the story they intended from the start inside the IP's shell.

[@baronvonlimbourgh1716]

Most writers now are shallow empty vessels. This is just what the got from the original material. It could simply mean that studio's have contempt for the audience and any writer with any depth is turned away because the studio "feels" nobody would watch anything that has any depth to it.

[@ManOutofTime913]

That's just Kurtzman and his team. Most of the reboots are written by people who just don't care and they wind up being boring.

[@Aeonfell]

Ah yes, """"""""""""THE REAPERS""""""""""""""

[@casbyness]

We have dismissed that claim.

[@pisscvre69]

w h a t c a n y o u t e l l m e a b o u t t h e r e a p e r s

[@Phelan666]

How'd you get all those scare quotes? He only had two fingers to work with!

[@Midgert89]

Oh god

[@ioanbotez7128]

Oh come on, it's not like they'd stoop to stealing the plot from a game, that's preposterous!

[@luispt77]

I can't wait til Palpatine shows up in the final battle in his Destroyer with gian Death Star Laser attached. Oh wrong series?? Nope, bet Kurzman doen't know and is eager to add that.

[@norassoras356]

This is Star Trek.... so Kahn? Kahn will show up and start quoting Shakespeare or Moby Dick with a fleet piloted by super soldiers! XD

[@GramLikesBread]

If there's a Romulan Star Empire there must be a Romulan Star _Emperor!_

[@norassoras356]

@@GramLikesBread I mean, unless the writers wrote him out of existence with the rest of their Empire lol Sigh... NuTrek

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

The Romulan ninja is starting to remind me of Elves. Did... Did Alex Kurtzman shape his perception of the Vulcans exclusively from their pointy ears?

[@silhouettegundam]

If they are ripping Mass Effect 3, he is Kai Leng. Ninja man, strike a pose!

[@afarce4172]

The most basic overview of the Vulcans/Romulans is decently space elf-ish, more proper Tolkien elves as opposed to most which are more DnD based. They are longer lived, had an empire that fell due to their own flaws that led to them reacting in rather extreme ways, they have near mystical powers and despite all this are just part of a faction that humanity is largely leading. Though, near mystical powers don't mean shit in Star Trek because a lot of alien races have those. That is the most basic overview, and obviously misses a lot about them where you can say that they are not really space elves. Most notably is that, unlike a lot of DnD based elves, they are not the favorites of the authors and their attitude, and philosophy, is largely depicted as a negative. They are good at what they do, but kind of off putting.

[@DecoySanchez]

Over a million views, this would be challenging the actual shows viewer count

[@NormCantoral]

chiming in from the future... make that 2 million.

[@iandesoucey9369]

Y'all need to flip the dynamic: torture mike by talking about mass effect for 2 hours.

[@Betrix5060]

Holy shit this needs to happen!

[@arlostein1000]

It wouldn't be as fun. Rich loves Star Trek Mike don't give a shit about the best sci-Fi series until Andromeda shit the bed

[@casbyness]

Torture for Mike would be Jay explaining Twin Peaks to him for 3 hours.

[@Launchpadcomics]

RLM is a beacon of hope in these uncertain times.

[@CWargh63]

Also the bacon of hope.

[@jerichomoon28]

with Pre Rec gone, Rich no longer has a forum to vent his hatred of mass effect. Its now bled into RLM

[@ShoRyuBarbie]

He already brought it up years ago on Half in the Bag during their review of the movie Transcendence. Did you even watch that episode?! Who are you, Alex Kurtzman?!

[@matthewcornish3086]

every time i hear either mike or rich say the name "soji" i'm hoping they say "shoji tabuchi"

[@bencarlson4300]

An oldie, but a goodie

[@Rick586]

12:02 I LOVE how all those traumatized people just stand around and don’t react to the person doing horrible violence to them. VERY realistic. GREAT JOB, Kurtzman. *YOU’RE SUCH A GREAT PRODUCER, KURTZMAN.*

[@MariaIsabellaZNN]

That one guy who doesn't even care enough to stop what he's doing and turn around is the best. What kind of directions were these actors given anyway?

[@Rick586]

@@MariaIsabellaZNN "Just fall down or whatever. We'll put the lasers in later."

[@ShoRyuBarbie]

I haven't seen the show, so I was guessing maybe those were the ex-Borg Romulans whose brains were permanently broken. But they're just sane people then?

[@tyty8484]

My favorite part is how they put all the cussing in these shows that sounds like an elementary school kid who just learned about cuss words trying to use them. It's almost as cringe as the "YAY SCIENCE" writers.

[@staretimecomics]

You get a like [from me, also], but nothing is as cringe as Yay, Science from a fat chick.

[@denkerbosu3551]

@@staretimecomics She is fat? She seems t have the fat in all the right places, or maybe its just me.

[@Yusuke_Denton]

@@denkerbosu3551 Just look at the leaked Discovery Season 3 poster. She's like two Burnhams wide and has no neck. (maybe the artist really doesn't like her)

[@spooplegeist5260]

@The Cost 'of XD' Except stop after Dexter season 4...

[@woodwyrm]

@The Cost 'of XD' The Wire, Sopranos, maybe Better Call Saul, Game of Thrones season 1-4(skip the rest)

[@iamasickman]

49:50 "I can go dumber." "You can go dumber than that?" "Yum yum!"

[@DinosaurFan88]

Slow-moving gas to kill a target in a closed-off room? Were the Romulans taking lessons from the Neimoidians?

[@QBG]

There's one great thing about Star Trek: Picard-the Red Letter Media reviews.

[@Marinealver]

Mass Effect 3 Rich Evans is showing to everyone that he is a cultured man.

[@zetetick395]

@@prince-solomon The ME3 ending is a friggin masterpiece next to Andromeda.......Good god what happened??

[@pond0479]

Not cultured enough considering the Reaper visions are from Mass effect 1. The Reapers already attack in the 3 one what would be the point showing the visions by then?

[@mangalores-x_x]

@@zetetick395 shit does not get tastier because there is more shit elsewhere. M3 is an exercise in horrible story writing and what NOT to do.

[@eldritchedward]

@@mangalores-x_x I disagree, ME 3 is great. It could have been done a lot better with the same basic story, but some rewriting. I don't like the reaching the story does, but it isn't entirely, insanely illogical like most stories are now.

[@justaguy12345]

The edits on this were so on point. I love the juxtoposition of "this weapon won't hurt you if you clear violent thoughts from your brain" to 20 seconds of CGI ship battles. You guys speak my language. STP has been really disappointing and it's nice to find that other TNG fans feel the same way.

[@30noir]

I always thought it was funny that the weapon didn't kill Worf... I mean come on. No violent thoughts? Right...

[@justaguy12345]

@@30noir "HAVING VIOLENT THOUGHTS AT THIS TIME WOULD HAVE NO HONOUR!"

[@nicholas_james]

I like to imagine Picard writers watching this, cursing you, then crossing items off their list of ideas.

[@QBG]

For a show that took most of its plot setup from "Measure of a Man", the most baffling failure of writing (and of faithfulness to Trek) is that they NEVER explain why the Federation decided to build a bunch of slave androids. In multiple episodes, TNG referenced the android rights established in "Measure of a Man", but apparently those rights were tossed out an airlock sometime between "Nemesis" and the attack on Mars. Let's talk about a man named Alex Kurtzman...

[@ericjohnson2024]

Why slave labor? All you would need is a machine who knows only one thing "Get ore." It would never require any higher intelligence. An IQ of 50 would be overkill.

[@maybeimortal5697]

@@ericjohnson2024 I mean like all you need is a drinking water bird thing but its beak is a pick and conveyer belt.

[@klopferator]

Considering that it was established in Voyager that the Federation basically used plenty of sentient former EMHs as slaves for mining it's not so much of a stretch.

[@kyleharlan100]

As Klopfer said, they already established that the Federation used tons of EMH slave labor because they weren't believed to be sentient, just artificially intelligent. Measure of a Man didn't establish ANY android rights, that hearing only specifically allowed Data the designation of sentience so that he could decide whether or not to submit himself to Maddox's specific test. There was a precedent set, but as Data and Lore were the only sentient androids, that precedence doesn't extend to anyone/anything else. Data had to fight tooth and tail to get anyone to believe or care about the non-organic intelligence in Home Soil and the Exocomps in Quality of Life. There's no reason to think the Federation wouldn't use tons of non-sentient AI androids.

[@raoulduke8725]

Klopfer exactly androids became obsolete and replaced by holograms.Using mining as an example why build physical bodies to put in harms way,when you can project endless amounts of holograms using holo emitters to do the same job without losing anything.

[@mtr801]

1:01:25 "Good morning plastic people." "Good morning Mr. Plinkett!"

[@striderleigh478]

Making Picard and Data “BFFs” really stinks of them scrabbling to duplicate the Kirk and Spock dynamic.

[@rosenyne]

They were the most popular and recognizable characters which is why they're always at the center of all the movies, but they didn't have the same personal arc in the show that Kirk and Spock did. Also Nemesis is just a ripoff of Wrath of Khan, which is why Data sacrifices himself for Picard the way Spock sacrificed himself for everyone on board the Enterprise. Mike made a Plinkett review of Nemesis a long time ago that pointed out all the similarities with side by side shot comparisons.

[@RobertWilkinsonJKekMaloy]

Katie Carr cause no matter what happened to Seven, she would have ALWAYS returned to janeway or at the very least chakotay

[@shippo72]

@@EverythingMustG0 Hahahaha. I can guarantee you that no one working on the show even saw TOS much less even read a Star Trek book.

[@bbbbKeJodddd]

@@shippo72 I'll do you one better and say they never saw an episode of Trek in general.

[@nightwishfan1991]

I absolutely despise JJ Abrams and his plague of "writers" he has unleashed on the world. Kurtzman, Orci, and Lindelof. His mystery box is the worst thing to happen to writing. Bad Robot was a mistake. Just burn all of Hollywood to the ground. There is no saving it at this point.

[@stevenherrera3469]

Lindelof’s television track record is great.

[@montalban5673]

@@stevenherrera3469 You are joking right?

[@stevenherrera3469]

@@montalban5673 LOST (sorry, I love it), THE LEFTOVERS and WATCHMEN. Yeah, I’d say his television track record is great.

[@montalban5673]

@@stevenherrera3469 I'd say each to their own, and if you enjoy those shows then good for you, but they are not good, they are terrible. The only way a person could love that rubbish is in the same way that people love films made by the Asylum.

[@stevenherrera3469]

@@montalban5673 k

[@datonkallandor8687]

The ending Mike is describing at the end is the finale of the Shadow War on Babylon 5. A massive space battle that's solved by putting the powerful ancient aliens in a room and having the main characters talk them down. Except instead of a well thought out million year history written ahead of time by JMS it's a thrown together hackjob by Alex Kurtzman who's improvising every story beat the day before it's shot.

[@Paul-uw2my]

Daton Kallandor Get the hell out of our galaxy!

[@TheRealActualPaincake]

Star Trek: Picard; taking the science out of sci-fi

[@swolemoth]

It's just fi now..

[@Kurzula5150]

Star Trek 2009: Blow up Vulcan. Star Trek 2020: Blow up Romulus. Star Trek 2031: Blow up Kronos. Star Trek 2042: Blow up Earth. Star Trek 2053: Blow up Doll. Star Trek 2064: Blow up Ego. Star Trek 2075: Blow up Alderaan.

[@sarissophori]

Star Trek 2089: Holdo maneuver.

[@AmstradExin]

Star Trek 1865: The Hickok - Tutt shot

[@AmstradExin]

Star Trek 2021: Violent THOTs

[@neal2399]

Pretty bold of you to assume society will still be intact in 2075

[@Blodhelm]

In Star Trek Discovery, they already blew up Kronos in the mirror universe XD

[@davidstaiti]

Mike and Jay, for the love of goodness, put out the episode 9 & 10 review!!!

[@davidstaiti]

Mike and Jay? Where is the review of 9 and 10?! Some of us are home with little to do!!!

[@augustosellhorn1722]

I check every day to see if they’ve done it ... please !!!

[@davidstaiti]

@@augustosellhorn1722 lol, same

[@atsilleps]

Yes, we are in dire need of this now.

[@Boball345]

Agreed, pls