Stop counting sober days? *before it’s too late*

[@AddictionMindset]

Beyond Sober Program Link (i have no financial affiliation) www.beyondsober.org/?r_done=1 AddictionMindset Programs: stan.store/AddictionMindset

[@shymaelkholy8475]

I agree with AA! I felt like a nothing! Not connected and then entering real society I felt shunned! And not a part of and less then.

[@happypurrrrs]

For me counting days is extremely important to me because I have wanted to be sober for over 5 years, and now that I am finally here seeing the days increase makes me more motivated to continue.

[@Vanxiety12]

I think counting is the worse. it keeps you attached to addiction.

[@Lefreemanyt]

​@Vanxiety12 I'm on day 8, I plan on counting till day 14 and stopping, I just want it to be the new me

[@kyle960]

Watching number go up make dopamine go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[@4Paradox8]

4 years/ 10 months sober on the 8th. Keep on counting because it does make you feel proud hitting milestones

[@Stormvogel262]

That's ok, different things work for different people.

[@Larry_Dean]

I absolutely love this point. I’ve struggled with addiction my whole life. The pressure that gets put on addicts to conform is almost cult like. We need love and forgiveness, especially with ourselves. Sobriety and health are a personal journey. You are not defined by a token. If you slip, get back up. The addition of a failure of “oh no, I lost my 90 day chip” seems inherently damaging and setting up addicts for a huge collapse when they do inevitably slip. We are all human.

[@larryc7209]

If it works, then do it. If not try something else. Counting days can keep the focus on the present instead of the future. Accomplishing sobriety in little streps can be manageable where the thought of never drinking again can be overwhelming.

[@AddictionMindset]

absolutely!

[@vibes1952]

i agree Larry. someone here said never say never. your setting ourselves up for failure.

[@XIsleTheWanderer]

Yep. Tomorrow makes 60 days for me. I wouldn't have made it this far without counting the days. And honestly, today's is a HELL of a struggle. I'm fighting every second to stay sober today. But, when I looked at my calendar and saw that tomorrow makes 60 days - that gave me a huge boost of motivation to stay sober, like I have made it this whole way, "for the rest of today".

[@larryc7209]

@@XIsleTheWanderer CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! That's an awesome achievment

[@XIsleTheWanderer]

@@larryc7209 Thank you!!!

[@jaycheek254]

This same mindset helped me to overcome my daily use of opioids for 21 years. I am totally clean and moving forward. I had to change my thoughts and actions. It's been a journey for sure. I'm grateful today.

[@zdgzgcgxc]

I've always heard when quitting, to restart your quit date after you "lapse". That's what I've always done, and its effected me negatively. but this is a great video.

[@carmenbrown3437]

In A.A. they do that. I think what I'm hearing lately is to give yourself credit for the previous days you did have. That's what I'm trying to do now.

[@oliverschultz4345]

Wow - Respect to Kohdi for his whole approach to addiction, his wisdom and clear explanation, and his undeniable sincerity! And thank you to Dr Frank for hosting this invaluable discussion! Thank you both.

[@reganjacklin]

Man just in the first 15 minutes this guy has dropped multiple bombs. This one is worth a rewatch for sure!

[@AddictionMindset]

It’s a really really great video!! Glad you enjoyed it

[@knewdist]

This video is great. I'm day 1 and I have a lot to clean up in my life. I'm going to deal with everything with a clear and focused mind.

[@baldersn4474]

Ate you still clean ?

[@knewdist]

@@baldersn4474 Still sober and it gets easier every day! My life has changed a lot in such a short time. I've been hitting the gym daily for 9 months, going from 150lbs to 190lbs. Plus, I'm on an info sec certification path funded by the state, and I might get an apprenticeship soon. I used to just worry about getting drunk or high every day. Feeling grateful for the progress! Thank You for asking 😊

[@knewdist]

@@baldersn4474 Still sober and it gets easier every day! My life has changed a lot in such a short time. I've been hitting the gym daily for 9 months, going from 150lbs to 190lbs. Plus, I'm on an info sec certification path funded by the state, and I might get an apprenticeship soon. I used to just worry about getting drunk or high every day. Feeling grateful for the progress! Thanks for asking 😊

[@knewdist]

Still sober/clean and it gets easier every day! My life has changed a lot in such a short time. I've been hitting the gym daily for 9 months, going from 150lbs to 190lbs. Plus, I'm on an info sec certification path funded by the state, and I might get an apprenticeship soon. I used to just worry about getting drunk or high every day. Feeling grateful for the progress! ☺️

[@allfacts8365]

This was my first time hearing of Kohdi, but he was dropping alot of gems and wisdom in this video. Great content Doc Frank.

[@vusimogola]

This was a great interview, and I love the way our guest laughs , he makes everything look easy

[@NubineQueen]

Wow this was perfect for me . Thank you so much Doc , this cleared my mind up, I’m 3 hours clean from nic just trying to make it to day 3 and this really motivated me to push harder against my own negative thoughts

[@AddictionMindset]

Glad you found what you were looking for in this video! I found it very powerful

[@NubineQueen]

@@AddictionMindset yesss very powerful! So many good gems and he made addiction seem so easy to get away from the way it was broken down ! Great collab! Def gonna rewatch this when I start struggling more

[@Zgarnet777]

🍀 Good Luck 🍀 You Will Do It🍀I'm in 19 days and I'm still shocked I'm doing it. It's not so bad, it can happen. Just think of Booze as a bad friend that left the planet. You will feel so good all the way around. It's Great 👍 Merry Christmas 2022🎄 from Susie 🌺 in Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA 🇺🇲🎼☮️ 💞

[@aouna9412]

How are you doing after 10 months?

[@addas001]

Thanks guys this helped so much. I didnt loose much from having a lapse in judgement but I know im capable of doing this and so much more, sober. Ill focus a day at a time and go to my mums to get away from it. Youre the best Doc Frank and Kohdi 😊❤

[@angelad.williams6298]

This video is gold for so many reasons, but especially the discussion of the AA mindset. AA is the grandpa! My substance of choice was marijuana but I also found myself on relationships with people whose substance of choice was alcohol. The al-anon mindset is so damaging and keeps people stuck and I'm so glad to be able to find such helpful content that is something so much better than AA.

[@AddictionMindset]

Happy to have you here on the channel! It’s good stuff🙏

[@Vontaejack]

This is a dope collab !

[@vibes1952]

Kohdi, What about the doctors opinion written into the books of MA. I could not keep with AA, too many evangelists. I could not relate to the people in AA (btw- 70 yr old). I can relate to the folks in MA. Have you checked it out at all. I do agree your thoughts in AA.

[@theoperator4253]

I honestly don't get why this video has that few likes and views. Gold right there for the people that need it. Amazing talk thank you!! :)

[@yaomitch]

This guest is dropping gems like every second. Really interesting to listen to

[@shymaelkholy8475]

I am trying to think greater then how I feel! Self preservation and self development

[@renegade2325]

I’m not afraid to be sober. Life just sucks so much, that the only good part is being under the influence. Idk how anyone can actually enjoy living, life is endless suffering for no point.

[@kills26]

I would like to say it gets better, but I'm still in the life is actually shit stage of stopping. But I don't want to go back to it, I'm not saying I will never smoke again, but right now I can see it far enough. If it makes me feel like this without it, then I'm better off without it. (But I am more and more feeling better, and normal) I've only got one brain and I would rather like to have it back. It used to be a good brain, it was a motivated brain, it was even at points a happy brain. But honestly, I am a coward, I knew I wasn't doing things to make me happy; I was doing things that were easy. The easier something is the smaller the reward. I smoked a lot, never at work, but before work, after work, constantly, would sit up to 4 in the morning just to make sure when my head hit the pillow, I was sufficiently baked. I didn't roll a last spliff I would roll 3 or 4. It's been 2 months since I stopped smoking heavily and now on day 21 being dry. My brain is adjusting to my new normal, I am feeling more motivated to do things that will make me happy, it's not so easy though. But life isn't easy, if it was it would be dull as fk. I am a recent convert to the idea of stopping, this time last year I was planning my Christmas weed budget, which was OfCourse festively huge, despite the fact I earn less than a 1/5 of what I used to and have a lot of debt. I can only speak for myself but most of my problems can be traced back to substituting real life progress in favour of getting stonned. Still did stuff, but it was the minimum amount. Now 3 weeks in, I feel like yeah. My life is still my life, life is still kind of shitty, but at least I've got my brain back, at least I've won back my motivation. Nothing is free weed comes at a price and I don't mean cash. Your brain on weed, life sucks but I'm chill about it. Your brain off weed, yeah life sucks, but I can do something about it. Personally feel like it's better to have hope than needing a crutch to get me through life. Because you know there is always hope and without hope you will fear the darkness because you can't trust the sun will rise again. (Yeah, that was twee as fk and rather cliché) But things are cliche mostly because they are true. Give it a bash dude, try if nothing else you will have a larger stash for Christmas nicely saved up and given yourself a tolerance break. But you might find "might" find that really life is what we make of it, another cliche sorry. Whatever you do or don't do, you should consider speaking to someone and not necessarily about the weed. Talking in general helps, writing down your thoughts can also help. Trying new things definitely helps. Anyway, I don't want to preach, I respect your agency and freedom of choice.

[@clairewillow6475]

That makes sense. It explains why I felt I could never make it to 90 days. The anxiety got to me

[@Nahuelero123]

Wow this video is truly a gem, it’s amazing how much someone can take away from two individuals that overcame so much in their life. I look up to people like that. 2 weeks sober nicotine and thc. 🤘🏻

[@MaryBrown-qp6iw]

Love this video. It’s putting new ideas in my head.

[@zacharysway575]

Okay but that app in the thumbnail has helped me so much as a visual thinker, it helps me put into perspective the stages of my recovery and what is going on during the detox. Like little milestones to push towards

[@zacharysway575]

The app is called quit weed

[@BeeLZBeeb]

Idk where I’m at on the whole journey but I really appreciate this chat, thankyou

[@kingsworld8903]

This was just amazing! Day 1 sober from weed after 8 years of extreme chronic smoking (25-30 bong hits a day, 0.5 gram each bowl, every 20 minutes) .. this video has some key things to help one quit

[@the_mattescat8497]

I plan to stop counting the days after 90.. after that I think I will be far removed from weed to go back.. I’m on day 7..and for now the counting really does help keep me focused on the goal

[@seanpaul4896]

Been through treatment with alcohol and god forbid everytbing he said i learned on my own. I was taught i was an alcoholic and will always have this "disease". Working on my mental health has given me the knowledge and understanding on what needs to be done to become a ex alcoholic. I appreciate the videos 😊

[@vibes1952]

hey Dr Frank, just caught this video. AT MA, I had been doing day counts but found it a bit 'negative' rathr than positive after awhile. of course after a second relapse it got me thinking that counting these days is not working for me. Ive been on MA for so long what the f does a few days weeks mean. So now, its just 24 hours at a time, 1 day at a time. thats all i'll say. I know in the back of my mind about ho long ive been straight i dont need the added pressure of counting days. I know I stopped my binging on alcohol about 20 year ago (with a 1 or 2 day slip in that time). Pots got to stop too. So, back on track, good today, good yesterday and good a fe dys befor that. 1 day at a time. I happy for those who have years etc, but its a downer when you re early on in recovery. btw- the alcohol would have killed me. I agree with your guest. he hit the nail on the head. thanks

[@AddictionMindset]

Yeah it’s a different perspective! I like to get many points of view.

[@shymaelkholy8475]

Counting days was my demise due to self destruction and not feeling worthy. AA was angering me. I have been struggling with my mental health. I don’t know anymore 😢

[@cat4517]

Wonderful talk. I love Kohdi's laugh it made me smile

[@ElronHumpperdink]

Wow… “you’re not gonna get MORE SOBER, when you’re sober you’re sober… if you’re not, you’re not.” Counting days to me proves life goes on… but I truly see it can get in the way, as some pinnacle of success when it’s actually a journey, not a destination. The second you say nah, no more… you’re sober (aside from if zooted when deciding this). Very refreshing outlook for me.

[@chuckchizzle]

I’ve said this plenty of times on a few videos. I know everyone is built differently but personally cold Turkey is what always worked for me. I had a great opportunity come about and unfortunately marijuana is a “drug” and I couldn’t test positive for ANYTHING at anytime. So I just stopped as soon as I heard that. I had weed at home. I let my people smoke it…I still had the same friends but just didn’t smoke. People still came to my crib, picked me up for things. They would still smoke, I just wouldn’t hit

[@ZMAN_420]

Alcohol and benzos tho? Cause you can die from those withdrawls.

[@ElronHumpperdink]

Not to kiss up to you, but that’s some awesome willpower. I want to anyways, but I too am stopping for the next phases in life, which include numerous job opportunities which would be sacrificed if I keep messing around. I still have it, so any time I could just go out there. But something in me outside of “running out, no money, etc” (nothing wrong with that), I have something above my own views driving me to be sober. I think it is because I’m by myself a lot, and so it’s not like I’m partying out, and then some at home. I just go to work and home and errands… so it truly is just me alone with the smoke. That’s what got me to say “meh, alcohol isn’t a healthy thing for my spirit in this regard, what it’s become.” Hoping it works for us all.

[@renpa5938]

i had a cigarette at AA today , feel lousy , fell asleep , awakened walked around in bare feet in the rain 'outside cold shower' not thc, still thc free - addiction is sneaky - 'I grew another layer of protection today recognizing for me that one cigarette could doom me - cbd only weed ok NOT! complete severing from the smoking products ! The relief, the realization still THC free within a month; daily if not an hourly reprieve Choosing your alternative 'mindset Dr. Frank and Kohdi 'beyond sobriety you're saving my life keeping me from doom! (time for pineapple fruit preparation a new alternative).

[@4Marktk]

49:58 please tell me that's not a fentanyl patch on the top of his hand .....

[@st17473]

Fellow NY awesome channel, great job guys

[@bettycarmella1127]

Awesome stuff here!! So appreciate your channel❤️

[@ZMAN_420]

Very informative 👍🏻🇺🇲

[@concrete981]

I was addicted to alcohol and weed, not anymore. Totally agree!

[@MidasWellTuneIn]

43:37 I had to write that one down.

[@jenniferbryn]

seems like a semantics game... but whatever encourages self-love to anyone struggling with negative perspectives is an activity in positivity that i can support. tomato potato. :)

[@bradleslie3760]

Counting days absolutely works. I haven’t had a drink in 36 years and absolutely have counted the days, months, and years. The specious reasoning that you can’t get “more sober than sober” is harmful and wrong. If you’re working on yourself as you remain sober, you absolutely DO get more sober because, as he even says, sobriety is more than not just picking up a drink (or drug, or process). The only way that counting days doesn’t matter is if you’re not growing by doing the work required to address the underlying reasons of why you picked up in the first place.

[@savannahprejsnar2174]

awesome video!!! 👍🏻💫

[@spartamuzic]

Great podcast!

[@AddictionMindset]

Thanks I personally loved this one!

[@brownmut5518]

I remember when I quit smoking i stopped counting after the 3rd or 4th week. It's been well over 7yrs now since I quit and will never go back

[@MidasWellTuneIn]

This was an amazing video. I will never smoke or drink again.

[@NorthTonawanda1]

It's true, my first few times where I had any success quitting drinking, I used to mark each day on a calendar with a "X". After 70-110 days or so, I'd be looking up at that calendar and I don't know how to explain it, but it felt like a weight on my shoulder, it doesn't make sense, but I swear that's how it felt, and I would fall off the wagon. I learned not to beat myself up over this failure, in fact, it got easier and easier to start new sober periods. What finally succeeded for me was just ditching the calendar (and again, not beating myself up, I realized I could do it and that when I messed up on occasion I could right the ship, and it would eventually stick.) I credit NOT marking off every day as one of the keys to my success.

[@UnseemlyGenie00]

I actually felt the opposite each x I could mark on my calendar gave me a confidence boost (quitting cigarettes)

[@NorthTonawanda1]

@@UnseemlyGenie00 --- I know, it sounds counterintuitive. It worked for me up to a point (the first several weeks,) then I made it into something else.

[@j.anderson1366]

Day 1 Grateful Doc

[@tomeseixas1203]

Can u make discussing why many people who quit alcohol won’t touch it at all again.. why won’t they say ”I’m not addicted I’m not going to get addicted again” and maybe enjoy it like a normal person who does it occasionally and is not addicted

[@caresblair1234]

People can say that this is all just semantics...yet on the flipside WORDS that you speak to others OR tell yourself DO/CAN have enormous impact. So balance is important to recognize here IMO. I am near the end of this talk now where you are discussing the implications of AA / 12 step groups and some of their failings in this regard. Basically we are talking about NLP here. Now remember this is a 40 year old field or so that has masses of supporters as well as opponents who would claim all of it is false. Again I state that balance can do either side with good to recognize benefits (truth) to be used. Neuro Linguistic Programming just like what you tell yourself (or decide to beLIEve) can affect people. I guess what I am trying to share here is to line up your thoughts with your actions, for consistency/power.

[@erimozata5120]

Thank you for this

[@zero4961]

Amazing podcast

[@ElronHumpperdink]

I think the counting days is deeper with “poking smot” because it’s not just a measurement of progress as much as it is “I need to pass a drug test, I could naturally by this time” because it takes so friggin long to leave your body.

[@wendypappas720]

Yes but AA IS into personal growth (when it works), not just about being sober. And I'm getting addicted to Dr. Frank, great as he is, and podcasts, and I would like to spend time doing something else. Then there's Allen Carr's Easy Way. That's helped people too. He thinks the addictions are mostly psychological.

[@Toxic_Male_Minimalist]

Another problem with counting days is that there is always someone out there who has more than you. You’ll be 14 days dry and then see a blog written by someone who has 1,000 days under their belt and you’ll feel like you’ll never get there. Which leads to more anxiety and depression and then relapsing

[@omayma4453]

Yess this happens to me too😅

[@larryc7209]

on the other hand, if you have one day and meet someone with 100, 1000, 10,000 it shows it can be done; it's not impossible

[@logtrees]

That’s a problem with comparing yourself with others, not a problem with counting. You should only compare yourself with who you were yesterday.

[@baldersn4474]

I've relapsed sfter 10 weeks sober...Feel suicidal 52 , what a failure, booze amd coke, gitl friend has left me too..

[@sreid4313]

I don't know if you'll see this but don't give up! You are not your addiction and 10 weeks is very impressive! It means you can do it again! Sometimes when we are going through recovery we need to focus on the reasons why we quit because if we forget, then when a tragedy befalls us, we run for the quickest and easiest way to cope. It doesn't matter how old you are or how much money you have. All that matters is that you keep trying and have faith! God bless :)

[@qz2983]

Good video

[@bennewman4675]

Like smoking tobacco can smoking weed make people more likely lose at boxing ?

[@4Marktk]

Re 47:20 Read Augusten Burroughs saying he went in to his psychiatrist meeting , and learned he had just committed suicide

[@hunterbidensvaxmandates]

This addiction suckss frank not having control

[@Mbalings]

With weed I'm not counting, with alcohol I definitely am 😫

[@Ella_therain]

I used to count when i quit, but this time, i didn't count. Must mean something good.

[@vibes1952]

Relapse vs Slip! the difference? i know the naswer but hd to say it.

[@bennewman4675]

Weed could be like when people didn't use to think smoking tobacco was bad

[@AddictionMindset]

Sadly there is some literature coming out that would agree with you

[@damianmaxwellorion]

blaming the program? Or the person who says they work it, continue working it, and show others to work it. If I’m constitutionally honest with myself. Key right there. The AA Spiritual Program of Recovery, where you recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. A profound alteration of my perception and reaction to the people and world around me. If I work the steps. That’s the key. If I follow above construct, I’d still have to practice. Give above techniques 87 years. You’ll probably end up with the same split of “non” success. My humble opinion. What the abou wdude never sounded. Humble. Humble doesn’t equal weak. The AA program does reprogram if you are just honest with oneself. Positive action, practicing 12 simple spiritual principles in everything you do everyday. And allowing yourself a 24 daily reprieve where you begin the journey. If you feel the hiccup. Good luck either way & God Bless. As long as we stay alive, trust a power greater than ourselves and help others.

[@jnnx]

Too.

[@AddictionMindset]

hahah thanks.

[@onerider808]

Hmmmm

[@davehasenford3985]

The only day that counts is today.

[@laurabegnini3953]

❤

[@MidasWellTuneIn]

41:00 🥲

[@johnjenkins1370]

Can’t take this Kohdi dude serious with the way he’s wearing his hat and whatever that is underneath the hat…😂

[@hallabsuha]

😂

[@attwireless9443]

I like to brag to everyone who smokes how long I’ve been sober. Because I hope they never achieve what I have . Being clean is a step ahead in a hard world .

[@matthewanderson6254]

Do you still smoke weed? I mean, can you control it to once a week or something?

[@shivanishamar]

he’s fine as hell

[@lukekalashnikoff3604]

this guys fucking laugh LOL

[@pawelwis7215]

I don't know if this guy Kohdi has a degree in psychology, but he talks so much nonsense that it hurts my head. He creates theories for his thoughts

[@robertarpin9779]

Fellowship and service heal the spirit. We are more then just neurons. With all due respect what works for the narcissist may not work for the empath. This modern word and science have spawned just as many horrors as solutions.

[@sreid4313]

This 100%. Biological arguments only get you so far. Focusing solely on oneself actually leads to depression but this doesn't seem to be a topic of discussion...

[@Classic_Depth1973]

Awesome video. Please don’t refer to bipolar in these discussions though. Bipolar does not even apply to any of this and is not simply having two points of view on the same subject.

[@Vanxiety12]

besides this guy saying he doesn't like counting, which I agree completely. I have no idea what else he is saying..lol sorry.

[@ediggs504boys]

sorry you lost me with the hat.

[@19MadMax98]

I can see dr frank wanting to burst out laughing at the guy the whole video lol

[@chrisalva9474]

One of the most powerful conversations I’ve heard. Now I’m starting to understand why you’re not that fond of Marijuana Anonymous. I went ahead and shared this on my Facebook page

[@tomeseixas1203]

Do you have an instagram page?