THATGUY Gets KICKED In The BALLS

[@PaladinGear15]

That first story is brutal. Two ruptured testicles?! That's horrific, but well deserved. Don't mess with a footballer's sister, footballers know how to kick balls.

[@realdragon]

Fun fact: men can die from the shock, there are so many nerves in balls kicking them can overload system. But yeah it's really horrific, I squeeze them a little on accident and suffer a lot

[@nickbrothwood1238]

@@realdragon Just simply tapping them stings like hell... I know.

[@UNSCMarine117]

@@realdragon And if he did die nothing of value would be lost.

[@Nintendoggy]

@@realdragon That's hilarious and sad at the same time.

[@pugking4518]

Agreed the problem player had it coming

[@robertmcgloin9198]

Dude the brother went "That's it, you out of the gene pool!"

[@yoyoboy87]

Let’s be honest, it might be for the best Kevin’s bloodline ends with him.

[@rommdan2716]

As if he has some posibility of that at all

[@petepromedio9159]

@@rommdan2716 exactly what I thought

[@pippo17173]

LOL the brother did all of us a favor.

[@Lionwoman]

@@rommdan2716 based on his beahviour he sounds entitled enough to might ending raping someon irl

[@falxblade1352]

@@rommdan2716 eh ,just in case. You really think someone like him would care about consent?

[@RiveroftheWither]

Guarantee that guy in the first story thought that if they "talked outside" he could intimidate and terrify her into letting him do what he wanted. When he continued to not get his way, he kept escalating.

[@KIDhazama]

I can't help but feel he was more so going to just straight up assault her while her brother wasn't around. He just lost his temper too soon.

[@NillanthirZ]

"Violence is never the answer... it's a question, and in this case the answer is FUCK YES!!" - Critcrab

[@REfan2002]

That Guy attack the DM..a 16yro. And TG gets his just rewards. Awesome. Also, kitty time!

[@PancakemonsterFO4]

That hit in the balls was definitely a critical sucess

[@asioca1992]

1st Story: Kevin honestly got what he deserved. Imagine assaulting a child and an adult over not being able to commit SA on an NPC, after the GM already told you that they didn't want to do stuff like that in their campaign. If you're going to grip someone hard enough to draw blood and then sucker punch someone when they try to defuse the situation, you deserve whatever happens to you. 2nd Story: If you're going to make a character with a secret, but do things to out their secret at multiple points during the campaign, you can't really be surprised when someone puts 2 and 2 together and figures out your secret before you're ready to reveal it. Not sure what their endgame was really. 3rd Story: D&D is not tinder, D&D is NOT tinder, D&D IS NOT TINDER! What is with these people trying to turn a D&D campaign into a means of getting chicks? The fact that the DM was in an "open marriage" and clearly showing favortism to the new girl (at least one decade his junior, because of course she was) just makes it exponentially worse. 4th Story: This guy's just an annoying person in general. If you're going to play video games or watch anime during an online game, at least try to hide it so you aren't a distraction to the party members who actually give a crap about the campaign.

[@TheJege12]

First story's that guy made a major mistake, football players know how to kick balls

[@patjacksonpodium]

Doge: I would say that takes some balls, but Kevin doesn't have any." Me: *Supa Hot Fire react intensifies* OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥📣😱🪦😂🔥🔥🔥

[@williamyates7679]

Doge got me with the busting balls remark ppl like Kevin don't get my sympathy. Don't attack ppl over games and you won't get life changing injuries. Its like climbing into the lion's cage at the zoo and expecting not to get eaten. If you attack someone and their big brother fucks you up all I have to say is "What did we learn?"

[@melaniescribbles]

Exactly this! They get no sympathy from me either. Don't just put your hands on people, because you never know what might happen to you. Like, if the the person themselves won't kick your ass, then their loved ones probably will. No joke, I once saw this story of a Karen trying to actually steal some girl's mask right off of her face, and she straight-up got tazed by the girl. People like Kevin really just ask for trouble at some point in their lives, because not everyone is just going to put up with their BS forever. Like, one day, they'll give the wrong person that kind of attitude. And Kevin DEFINITELY gave the wrong person attitude.

[@geoffreypershouse70]

what kevin tried to do is something that as a DM would make me shout "GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!!! DARKEN MY TABLE NO MORE!!!" there are lines that no DM should ever allow to be crossed and kevin tried to cross so many of them he frankly deserves every bit of agony his nuts suffered from that kick.

[@SirXer]

7:39 and 8:09 OOOOOOO, got em! Such good jokes, Doge :)

[@Aja-e5j]

1. as said in the story, charm person (and monster) make them *friendly* not mad in love with you 2. your charisma stat is literally irrelevant unless your spell casting stat happens to be charisma - you being charismatic does *not* make the spell's target extra friendly 3. i think the spell's name matters notably less than the description of what it actually does, lol

[@cmhsky]

Doge roasting Kevin made my day. Thank you!

[@Turenkoren]

Das boot be strong with this one. When in doubt kick 'em in the nuts 😂. Made my day.

[@patrickedger2448]

Two towers was a blast when I was a kid. Good pick. Sounds like that football player would have scored a goal with that kick.

[@SwitchBladeX89]

Your ball jokes are nuts... On the plus side, we won't have to worry about that Hellspawn making more of himself and he got sacked to boot...

[@novadrake9232]

I hope op in story 1 is OK event's like that from that guy's can be terrifying

[@elmeromogollon]

I don't know why critcrab doesn't show gameplay in the background anymore, thanks for doing this, and you even show the title of the game.

[@Yojimbo16]

Had something similar in the 2nd story happen to me. TLDR: Was playing a Tiefling Paladin that was hiding the fact they were a Tiefling for a reveal later on by wearing a helmet, player rolled a nat 20 session 1 to tell I was a tiefling and I got the Okay from the DM that my character was actually a female disguising herself as a male so I would still have a big reveal later on. She went on to be one of the best characters I ever played.

[@TheBones1188]

Thats pretty far different imo rolling to see what race someone is under a helmet and rolling to see or hear the verbal and somatic components to a spell. The former has the stench of meta knowledge that doesn't exactly make sense to look for; a warrior wearing a helm is pretty normal but doesn't provide useful info( unless they were just rolling to see what u look like ig). But someone seeing you cast a spell in the open is different even if ur trying to hiding it since magic is pretty overt in a lot of cases.

[@Yojimbo16]

@@TheBones1188 I initially had the character spoke in a really gravelly voice that probably tipped them off. I originally made the character as a joke when I learned I could put the Tiefling Race together with the Paladin Class where they're this big scary demon-looking guy who would ask NPCs if they accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I had the DM's permission that the gravelly voice was retcon into being the disguised voice rather than the actual voice.

[@apertureAI-jw1iz]

First guy assaulted two people irl while trying to drag one of them outside with him, he's lucky he didn't get murdered for that shit.

[@BlackRainRising]

"I'm just busting balls here" bro... if I could like this video 100 times I would, that was a horrible pun but damn was it funny, I love you doge!

[@shadenox8164]

What's amazing is I had a phoenix sorcerer who liked fire, could set things on fire via touch, cloak himself in fire and reroll ones on fire damage rolls who was less obsessed with fireball than that wizard. In fact the first spell he learned of that level was actually lightning bolt because hey gotta have some different elemental options and it still set things on fire. He was an actual character and didn't just start fires willy nilly like some kind of wandering arsonist I swear.

[@MechaG]

The real horror stories are the ones that spill out into IRL, and maybe the police get involved.

[@Reddotzebra]

Ok, I may not be that wizard, but you'd better believe this is my inner monologue every time I'm playing a wizard. That said, I generally focus on crowd control instead of blasting, simply because I know that I can get MUCH more death out of my spell slots if I deliver the enemies to the rest of the team like lambs to the slaughter than if I cast fireball over and over again. And the best part is they usually love you for it. Then again I much prefer playing a druid, despite knowing full well how brokenly overpowered a wizard is at mid to high levels.

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

First story: I have to wonder what Kevin expected to happen when he called the cops. Like, he’d really obviously just assaulted two people in front of multiple witnesses. OP was bleeding, her brother probably had the beginning of a bruise on his jaw, and the other players were RIGHT THERE. How did he not think the cops would figure out he was the aggressor? Second story: If you make a character with a secret, you’re going to have to reveal it at some point, because otherwise, there’s no point to having it. If you’re going to react to your secret’s reveal by initiating PVP, then you’re just playing to screw over your party, which is just a dick move. The magus player is the problem here. Third story: D&D is not a dating tool. Sitting around a table pretending to be a wizard isn’t going to get you laid. And if you’re in your 30s and trying to get into anything romantic/sexual with a teenager, you are a capital-c Creep. Full stop. Fourth story: Yeah, if I was the DM, that guy would have been kicked long ago, longtime friend or not. He clearly doesn’t appreciate any of the effort the DM put into the campaign.

[@MrFurro-uu7je]

Still don't know how people don't get this D&D is to have fun not to get laid

[@ArchieRatsworth]

They don't think ahead like that, they just live in the moment.

[@shadowgearaudio293]

I think it was the store owner who called the police in the first story. From what I understood based on the text, Kevin was still incapacitated on the ground vomiting. So he’s probably not in any condition to do anything. Much less call the police.

[@acrothdragon]

First story was certainly brutal and completely uncalled for. To call out OP who was a woman just to pick a fight with them because they wanted to force a romantic relationship onto a npc and top it off with rolling all 18s on his stats. Jeez yeah he deserved to be neutered when trying to attack her and her brother. Story 2: yeah I’d certainly rule perception checks insight checks those will go unnoticed by the characters and this player really jumped the shark. Personally I do get extremely annoyed by these types of people in games having deal with the situation twice. The worst was a fiend pact blade warlock that at the start of the campaign picked a devil on the list then changed it three sessions in to some homebrew goddess he pulled out of his butt. I was annoyed by this since I already prepared some material involving his patron then he preceded to get annoyed when I was going to have him do certain tasks his patron wanted done. Of which he was furious because I think he wanted to keep him being a warlock a secret which was kinda hard when your throwing eldrich blasts and doing all the warlock things. I did boot him after the 6th session when he refused to share his character sheet after he was rolling ridiculous high on damage and to hit rolls for a lvl 3 warlock. Story 3- while uncomfortable this sounds I have polyamrious friends and I don’t condone trying to hook up with another partner at the game table as this just isn’t the proper place to look for a date. Now if the players did afterwards the session ended that’s fully on them for what they do in their time is their business and OP shouldn’t put their business in someone else’s. But op write that the 19 yr old was naive and really a guy in his 30s and his wife who wasn’t comfortable yeah he should of just not gone there. Last story- yeah wizard seems to be a one trick pony DM should seriously consider throwing out opponents that have fire immunity. But I had a player behave the same way and it really grated on the other players he loved to use fireball and chain lighting. He had other useful spells but would never cast them because he didn’t want to use up his precious spell slots. Getting tired of his belittling of others yeah he kept saying how much damage he can do and behaved the same way as wizards op I had the part face 3 devils and a lieutenant of the bbeg they were shadowing that were immune to fire and electricity The party wasn’t ready to face this person yet and the majority of the party agreed to run after the first 3 round knocked everyone to half hp and no one was able to hit. Wizard was like no I can handle this and for three rounds he was casting max lvl fire and lightning and since he never did a knowledge check I’d say they don’t seemed effected by these spells. Our warlock was just annoyed and did a knowledge check and crit it I told them their immunities and the lieutenant was a legendary right before he yelled at wizard to pack it up and he dimensioned door away. Wizard was saying that’s bullshit and proceeded again to try to attack the lieutenant with another lightning bolt instead of misty step or teleport away the lieutenant just multi attacked the hell out of him killing him completely.

[@koboldking7153]

Ball Bearings+Flour+Torch= Shrapnel Fireball for nonmagic characters 😎

[@AspieMemoires]

The game play, it activated so many neurons. That was an amazing game for a movie adaptation.

[@novadrake9232]

When I first sub to your channel I had nothing to do with your cat sub tactic I was very interested in the content you were making so I sub to hear more of it seeing a cute kitties was icing on the cake

[@Sl4wt3r]

Man, I'm so so lucky that I don't meet 'kevins' anymore. The last 'Kevin' I met was in high school and he tried to set me on fire. I responded by 'punching' him in the face. With a skateboard. Edit: I should mention this was also over d&d. He wanted to 'borrow' my books indefinitely.

[@NegaHumanX]

I played that Two Towers game in my early early teens, back when I only had a PS2 and about 5 games (2 of which were Sonic Heroes and Shadow the Hedgehog). That game somehow ended up being the thing that got me the most into Lord fo the Rings since the films and books never managed to tickle the part of my brain that obsesses over stuff.

[@4aw50fGold]

I was Having a hard time Finishing my food at the first story… Somehow.. you just Know that pain was felt by everyone, but you know Everyone sees the situation as “So you chose Death.”

[@PaladinGear15]

We had a sorcerer who refused to do anything but fireball, although he kept using quickened spell to cast two fireballs at once, turns out you can't do that. He got away with that for almost the whole game since none of us had played sorcerer before >_>

[@deepseastonecore3017]

Thanks 4 all the hard work.

[@WTFisTingispingis]

I came mostly to see how nutshots factored into this.

[@DICEBOY22]

Kitty! my house has 9 cats! 5 adults and 4 kittens.

[@unluckyone1655]

OK for that second story, hey I love playing characters that have a secret that the party may find out about later. One of my characters is a vampire and he is pretty good at hiding it, and I have planned different rp scenarios based on how they react should they find out, and overall, I look forward to it all. Magus there needs to get over themselves and accept that they took that all the wrong way. I mean, sure it sucks to have a secret found out too soon and said secret is one that can land o e in hot water, but they should have took it in stride and see how it panned out. That is how role playing works my dude. Yeah, at this point the fact they are still salty about that is 100% on them

[@phobiawitch835]

Story 1: No comments to be made that weren’t, other than that your jokes and goof smile had me cackling (and nearly choking on Halloween Oreos). Story 2: I have only played 2 characters with secrets due to my lack of being able to pace out reveals, lol. Thiugh I did well enough I think. But I wouldn’t nuke a character if someone found out early. Story 3: No comment, seems mostly like an Out of Game thing that was definitely just uncomfortable and needed to be dealt with (and it was). Story 4: Yeah, my only comment is that they need to have him leave when they can talk politely since it seems he doesn’t listen when talked to by the dm.

[@ryanrizzo4869]

Look at that classic gameplay! I played so many hours of the LotR games!

[@hollowblaze2320]

Do not be ashamed about your joke. You deserve the spot light!

[@deadzone4033]

The best consequence for a That Guy ever!

[@mothermothproductions]

the cat updates are my fav

[@UNSCMarine117]

Halo announcer: "double kill"

[@lonespartan2272]

oooh i remember playing that game in the BG. good times

[@Sanodi21]

Not like they were going to see much use, but I could only imagine the shame Kevin's make-believe kids would've felt over learning their dad got sent to prison for attacking a girl over being mad she said no to banging a make-believe married woman

[@Yoxiv]

Oh, it took balls alright, he just lost them in that gamble.

[@LiteraryDM]

It has been some time since I've seen The Two Towers game footage. I probably played the game into the ground.

[@WTFisTingispingis]

Me too that game was fucking sick.

[@LiteraryDM]

@@WTFisTingispingis Right?! That and Return of the King, among the few solid movie tie in games.

[@Captaincory1]

Evocation wizards are cool because of the sculpt spell feature that allows you to choose a number of creatures up to 1+spell level to auto save for no damage, unless the problem from that last story took sorcerer levels or metamagic adept to get the metamagic of a similar effect and the sorcery points to use it, my point being he doesn't have to be such a douche about it

[@shadenox8164]

Almost certainly using sculpt spell, with the way that metamagic works you wouldn't want to be taking levels in anything else besides sorcerer since the amount of targets you can protect is based on your charisma modifier. That'd just be a mess of a character and the two sorcery points from metamagic adept is kinda eh for most casters. Oh and the sorcerer metamagic just gives the targets the ability to auto succeed the saving throw, so you'd still take half damage which doesn't sound like what was happening.

[@MattHew-rq8zw]

LOTR, two towers, my personal favorite one in the game series of LOTR on consoles. :D ! Missed playing it among another one, which was a turnbased one, on gamecube.

[@Chedmond]

Perhaps it's not official, but in most every tabletop RP I've played, one of the major rules is that one player cannot manipulate another with charm spells and the like. That works on NPCS only. Other spells and skills vary depending on whether PvP is allowed.

[@RiveroftheWither]

Kevin was using it against an NPC, the problem is that it's still not mind control or a magic date grape drug. The spell description is that it just makes the character regard you as a friendly acquaintance and turn hostile towards you after it fades. It's good for getting a discount at a shop if you're about to leave town or stalling a fight for a little bit. It doesn't compel a character to do something they wouldn't do normally, like making a married woman that's not into you want to suddenly bang.

[@WolfgangDoW]

Last story: he doesn't have main character syndrome, he just wants to be in the lime light lol

[@soultpp]

Okay, for the first story I laughed loudly from the puns and that guy deserved the pun-ting after attacking the DM. I hate to think what he was planning if she had agreed to go outside with him though. I fear that this story could have been SO much worse than it was. For the second story, the player of the magus (or whatever) was really being a huge baby. It was entirely his own fault that his character was outed and he jumped to the worst possible conclusion with his meta-gamed realization that the person he cast a spell on noticed when he did. And to just nuke the whole character AND make a "revenge character" afterwards was childish. For that wizard in the 3rd story why, isn't the DM using fire immune monsters? When the one trick pony can't do his one trick, maybe he'll learn better? I mean, I won't deny that Fireball is one of the most efficient damage spells in the game, but it's also one of the most resisted as there are more monsters that are resistant and immune to fire than I think any other damage type. A few immune creatures, maybe a few counterspells now and then, and enemies occasionally (not always, that would be unfair) targeting the 'guy with the biggest boom' and he might stop being so arrogant about one single spell. Of course it sounded like there were more issues than JUST fireball being cast from an Evoker Wizard (I'm assuming 5e and at least he is actually avoiding his party.) It may be that the way he's playing this character is just exacerbating a problem that already existed. If that's the case then it was only a matter of time before he did something to cause the group to want to kick him.

[@l0stndamned]

Second story: if players are going to be fussy about in-character secrets that they're doing a bad job of keeping then they've only got themselves to blame.

[@wolfyblackknight8321]

I feel bad for the 16 year old gm who had to deal with a shit player like that, but I respect the brother for protecting his sister and deescalating the fight with 1 hit, makes me think of ether that fight in the Deadpool movie with colossus just backhanding Deadpool with one hit or one of my favorite phrases "like Zeus smiting a toddler". also stories like this always make me feel like if I was going to try and be in a new group or with a new gm to try and be as little trouble as possible for them. its stressful enough and they don't need the added headache of dealing with a problem player. 2nd story just because another character notices you might be a class or race that in the setting is hunted or persecuted doesn't mean you should retire the character when the other player notices you might be one of them. since I assume the other players out of character knew already since its hard to say "I cast -insert spell name here-" at a table with other players and no one notices it. I think the player over reacted and jumped ship before letting the rp of it play out honestly I'd love the idea of a strictly lawful good character noticing it and having the internal conflict between "you saved my life" and "that's illegal I should turn them in" 3rd story DND is not a dating service if you have an open relationship and everything ok but keep that separate from the game. you might be cool with it but everyone else probably isn't and don't need to be an captive audience to it. 4th story the corruptive power of fireball also just going to point out that while its a good spell you still have a finite number of times it can be cast per day so dumping all your 3rd level castings and up on it isn't exactly the best idea strategy wise. guy definitely has main character syndrome and hopefully they grow past it. that being said for the gm they might consider spacing out the monsters or other opposing force to make fireball less effective since it can only hit a set radius. or they could I guess try and hard counter wizards in a few encounters to knock him down a peg or two, but that's kind of a dick move to just keep throwing fire resistant or immune mobs at the player or, have them suddenly deal with a lot of casters with counter-spell but sometimes the only way humble someone is to knock them down a few pegs. maybe after encounter when he brags about how the others would of died without him or something like that. I mean that's how I'd run the game as a gm but that's personal preference.

[@JimAbooGames]

Kevin doesn't need them anymore.

[@7thsealord888]

Story #1 - I am saddened that this experience has frightened her off D&D, at least for now. Hopefully, with her brother's help, she can get back into this marvelous hobby. Kevin got absolutely everything he deserved. Story #2 - The other player handled this situation VERY poorly. If your Character has a secret, gotta figure that someone in the party will figure it out, sooner or later. OP did nothing wrong. Maybe there should have been more communication up front - even just a simple Player-to-Player, "It's cool, dude. I'm not saying anything...." may have helped here. Story #3 - Ummmmm. 'Keep your private life away from the table' seems like much-needed advice here. Story #4 - This guy NEEDS to be talked to and seriously brought into line (or kicked) because, sooner or later, either people will start walking away or the whole game will blow up. As often seems to be the case, I think it has gotten this bad simply because no one has stopped him.

[@TheSkepticalPanda]

Image getting an impromptu sterilization without anesthesia because you can't keep your angry hands off a teenager over a game.

[@FedericoVetencourt]

The second story, my opinion: if you are worldbuilding a world were the spellcaster classes will be punished and you are not banning the classes as well, then I would believe: A-being a spellcaster should be discussed in a Session 0 so maybe we all agree even if someone plays a spellcaster we will find a way for our characters not to kill this ally at once, or B-the PC knowing to be a Spellcaster and wanting to hide it makes an ACTIVE change to the system or creates some dynamic to HIDE his spellcasting from his allies that is also NOT discernible by regular means, otherwise you ARE damaging the class at it's core elements, cuz D&D 5e HAS NO spells that can be casted WITHOUT components

[@9liveslie-cat-lie129]

But your honor I used charmed person...CHARMED PERSON!!!!

[@DunantheDefender]

DnD Doge blesses my rolls so they're all nat 20s: calm Oh wait shit I'm the DM: panik

[@SuperBatSpider]

Last story:Bring in the Iron Golem

[@BlueTressym]

I take it they're immune to fire...

[@SuperBatSpider]

@@BlueTressym Fire heals them

[@BlueTressym]

@@SuperBatSpider Ah, I see.

[@Azmeaiel]

What the clickbait DND channels promise, Dnd Doge delivers.

[@Densoro]

'Takes balls.' Out.

[@AvatAR42420]

How did you know? Mute Beavis is the name of my Indie band.

[@mrbeebs44]

Is that the PS2 Lord of the Rings game? I remember those. They were neat, but so bloody hard

[@oliviabean8264]

"Good job ruining my character" ... because having them try to magically nuke the ALLY they where JUST TRYING TO HELP with said magic for the crime of NOTICING THEY TRIED TO HELP in front of a bunch of witness's wouldnt ruin the character whatsoever.

[@Pandadude-eg9li]

I hope Kevin wasn't going to do what I think he was going to do...

[@RiveroftheWither]

I don't know how far you're thinking is but chances are he wanted to "talk outside" just to intimidate her into doing what he wanted. It's when he continued to not get his way that he escalated. Think of it like you would a bratty child wanting some candy from the store. Mom says no, the kid doesn't usually go straight to a full screaming fit on the floor. Typically it's a progression of "but mom" "dad said I could" "but why", getting more emotional the more they're denied. That's pretty much how things progressed here, I don't think he was originally planning to hurt her, just scare her but he lost control of his rage .

[@solarchos4352]

20:25 - "Almost like a mute Beavis with a lighter." Heh-heh-mmm-hehheh! Shut up, Butthead.

[@Thedragonlover95]

1st story, dont mess with big bro

[@TigerW0lf]

Why do they always go for the kiwis? BECAUSE IT ALWAYS WORKS!!!💥😱

[@lalunafate]

7:45 buuuuurn

[@solan7978]

That Fireball-obessed wizard sounds like a bit of an ash-hole.

[@ketrava0425]

No bad doge no puns

[@TalkativeHands]

First story. I don't care if Kevin was having a bad day he deserves what he got. Second story. Magic user went crazy. Side note whenever you cast a spell it should be obvious either way, that's why sorcerers have subtle spell. Last story. They should just cut them from the game before it gets hostile. But still be friends with him.

[@DoomsdayR3sistance]

1st story, Dude is waving his hands around and producing sounds to try and alter the weave, before even getting into what Charm Person actually does... lucky if everybody in the bar doesn't get up and immediately attack but then the player as it turns out has no concept of repercussions, something they will have to learn in Jail for being a douchebag. 2nd story, again spell casting really isn't subtle (meta magic reference), you can't be doing spell casting in open and expect that nobody notices. 3rd story, "open marriage" is synonymous with Divorce, Open Marriage usually doesn't last. Usually it's 1 partner wanting to cheat without guilt but once their partner sleeps with somebody, they see the grass is greener and dump the idiot that wanted an open marriage, that or the idiot that wanted it gets jealous of the other partner ever daring to do as they do. Open marriage never lasts. 4th story. Wizard is a war gamer and has main character syndrome vibes, he is at the wrong table and also needs to be humbled, Evocation Wizards might be able to avoid allies with shaped spell but they are also very squishy, a goblin farting in the wrong direction is enough to kill one.

[@karisasani7006]

Imagine what would happen if the dungeon master in the 4th story decided to throw in a creature that is immune to fire damage chances are that wizard would be pissed!

[@slagarcrue85]

I growl in annoyance at the wizard. I look at him in the eyes and say wizard for the love of the lady of the lake put a Leroy in it. Our shut uppppppppp! Thank you Arnold. No problamo,

[@Jokervision744]

Fireballs and balls

[@SnaxTheSnaxolotl]

Doge woo plus kitties woo

[@vodostar9134]

Story 1. Player shows up with more than one 18 on the character sheet (or 5e bonuses over +10)? He's cheating. Kick him out right then. Story 2. I don't think the DM should have allowed the perception check or set a very high DC on the presumption that a MU in that culture would have gotten good at hiding magic or be dead already. Story 3. Adults are adults. The OP was poking his nose into other people's business, except for the in-game favoritism issues. Story 4. Is shaped fireball a real spell? Sounds like a bad homebrew.

[@slatealan7082]

Nipsey always like random thing, is there any chance Nipsey like us the subscriber?

[@johnmattson8280]

So in the second story, he jumped the gunslinger and then jumped the gun?

[@vortega472]

Kitty in a box, so cute, love your black beauties! As to the first Horror story, he's lucky the brother only cracked the jewels, if it were me I'd crack...*Deep Breath* Oh Hi Nipsy, thanks for bringing down my blood pressure.

[@lamiahunter]

Bruh imagine losing the ability to have kids because you couldnt cheat in a pnp game and tried to kidnap a minor and fight their brother. TBH the kick to the nads was too far.

[@asioca1992]

The moment you start threatening people and putting your hands on another person without their consent, you deserve anything and everything that's done to you in retaliation, up to and including 14 months in jail + 2 ruptured testicles. I shudder to think what Kevin would've done to OP if her brother wasn't there to protect her.

[@lamiahunter]

@@asioca1992 Bro code, you never go for the nads.

[@asioca1992]

@@lamiahunter Man, screw that. Bro code goes out the window the moment someone threatens you or someone you care about with violence. If you don't wanna get kicked in the nads, don't do risky stuff that'd warrant a shot to the breadbasket in the first place.

[@lamiahunter]

@@asioca1992 Im going for your nads then.

[@asioca1992]

​@@lamiahunter Why, because your boyfriend can no longer reciprocate anymore? Seriously man, it ain't a difficult concept to grasp, don't threaten/assault people and you won't get kicked in the nuts. It's really that simple.

[@Simkitty]

Oh yeah, I subscribed a long time ago. 😸 =^..^=

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

💀 bro why you had to make the title of the first story so sus 📸🤦🏻

[@dorianleakey]

Why was her 6'5 brother wearing steel toe capped boots? Why would Kevin go for someone that size? Its uncommonly large, I dunno if this is one of those stories the OP picked up from someone elses life, who knows.

[@heatherharrison264]

Today provides yet more proof that mixing D&D with romance is a bad idea. Imagine assaulting someone over a game. This is so absurd to me as to be almost unbelievable, but then KZbin is full of video clips of gamer rage, so I guess this is perfectly plausible. Kevin got what he deserved. When the DM decides (for good and sound reasons) that there shall be no romance in the game, do not ignore this rule. In the third story, at least the problem DM got the hint after the girl said "ew." This could have been far worse if he had pushed the issue further, which I fully expected him to do, so this was a pleasant surprise. I've still not found a game, though I have been looking for one but haven't put a great deal of effort into it. I won't play any kind of game online, so I'll have to actually meet people. A local brewery has D&D nights, so that might be an option if they are running a one-shot or a short campaign that I could try to see if it works out. If I join a game, there will be no romance or erotic role play at all involving my character, and anything involving other people at the table will be fully consensual and fade-to-black. If the table is more into romance and sex than that, then it isn't the game for me. I simply do not want to get involved in any of that, especially if it turns creepy.

[@BlueTressym]

It's not romance and D&D being a bad mix per se; heck, I've met more than one romantic partner (including my current partner of 12 years) through gaming. The issue is with being creepy about it. Kevin wasn't at fault for wanting romance in the game; he was at fault for refusing to accept the word no, both in-game and out. It's not even about the game at that point; it's about entitled people refusing to accept no for an answer, and those kinds of people get everywhere. With people like Kevin around, it's pretty understandable that many DMs just nix any form of romance or the like from their games but it's not really the ideal solution. What we actually need to do is IRL, not in the game, and that is; teach people not to be entitled creeps. I fully agree, BTW, that any and all content that can cause discomfort should be discussed in session zero and boundaries set. If you don't want to partake, no one has any business whatsoever taking issue with it or getting pushy or whiny.

[@TheRPGNerd]

hi, polyamorous person here. thats not polyamory. thats being predatory. also open relationships and polyamory are completely different. i promise you most of us dont do this shit and we especially dont go after ppl half our age (well. most of us. not gonna say theres NO pedophiles amongst us, but hopefully theres few.) i hope this didnt sour op's view of us, we are uh. typically seen as weird or cheaters or other pretty shitty things. and i hope that 19 year old gets far, far away from those two. im the same age and it makes my skin crawl. edit: youre completely right doge! polyamory is all about communication and comfort. if one person isnt cool with it, then thats not ok, and it needs to be worked on. it sounds like pdm had the idea its just "i get to date multiple people" when thats not it. everyone needs to give approval on that, and if you go forward WITHOUT that, thats cheating. im glad you get that.

[@Leppa10]

Ok I definitely think neutering was too far

[@rabidr3aper213]

What game is this in the background?

[@michelcosta76]

Cat in the box!

[@Reddotzebra]

What even is this guy's problem? First, I really have no idea why it's such a common thing to try to abuse NPCs in such a way, second, I have even less of an idea who thinks it's in any way defensible to physically attack your DM after they simply read the rules to you, and third, groin attack for the win!

[@Plaugue1122]

Dude your cats look like my Morticia. She's a sweet girl who loves night cuddles

[@marybdrake1472]

If I had been the GM in that last story with the, frankly douchebag wizard, I would have tried to save that first bit. Nope, I would have just told the guy, your thoughtlessness just screwed everyone. Good luck with that. Bad decisions in game need to have in game repercussions.

[@666Vampirefromhell]

Like for LotR gameplay. Love that game.

[@dadanny187]

Honestly, I think physical assault by anyone TO anyone is a little much for DnD. A little unnecessary. Edit: this story sounds pretty made up. I was going to leave a benefit of the doubt, but when it started talking about the "meat and potatoes" of the story, it sounds a little bit too much like a "I bested him and he looked like a big dumb, everyone clapped for me in the end story." Or maybe this did happen, and I'm the asshole. Tl;dr: everyone sucks.

[@Geth-Who]

When someone attacks family, then you come to their defence. There's very little that can change that axiom, and none of it's in this story.

[@dadanny187]

@@Geth-Who Well that's why I said physical assault by anyone TO anyone. Irl Physical altercations should never happen over DnD. That's just dumb. No lie

[@WTFisTingispingis]

I take these reddit stories with a pinch of salt 'cause 'lol it's reddit', but even so if someone attacked my sibling I'd probably do the same as the brother in this one. Or at least try!

[@dadanny187]

@@WTFisTingispingis nah for sure if something like this actually happened, then I believe the brother did exactly what he should have. But that guy took sheesh too seriously.

[@APerson-ws4cw]

Yeah it does sound kinda fake, but if it's real then I'd say the brother acted appropriately

[@Rtrstormghost327]

Yikes I feel bad for kevin but I don’t feel sorry for him he got what coming