The 9 SIGNS Of An Emotional Affair...

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ Get your copy of "Love After Heartbreak" here 👉 www.loveafterheartbreak.com

[@carolyndelong4737]

Hey Stephan, first off your a great speaker and you have helped me so much . I’ve learned a lot about myself and about my ex . I would like to hear from you about “emotional cheating” on social media . Meaning for example my ex , he has thousands of woman on all his social media accounts and it’s nothing but nasty woman if you know what I mean . It was really hard for me when I found out about a year into our relationship. I addressed it and he refused to change it . He basically chose that over me along with alot of other situations that I found wrong and hurtful. We still live together because of money and it’s super hard . I was just curious what your thoughts are on that issue. Do you do online counseling?? I would be interested. I’ve never felt this low in my life and I’m trying to find me again . Thank you !! And god bless

[@pmo7780]

One of the worst responses is when you calmly and respectfully try to communicate this issue with your partner and they call you insecure and dismiss it

[@courtneyshiels6918]

Definitely a red flag

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I feel you it's not an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!

[@pmo7780]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks yeah. No matter what we still need to do what we have to. Thank you for your reply

[@susanswecker1918]

Or your partner comforts you with lies and you want to believe it. What am I getting out of this? I must have low self esteem.

[@redvelvet6618]

I can't count how many times my ex husband dismissed my conversations, tears, affection.. 😔

[@lisacowan2248]

1. Secret "friendships" or friends kept seperate from the relationship 2. Confiding in others that are not their partner 3. Unwillingness to establish boundaries/ pushback when asked to set boundaries 4. You feel closer to the friend than the partner 5. Partner is more concerned about how they look for the friend than for you 6. Constantly thinking about the friend 7. Having sexual fantasies about the friend 8. Always finding excuses to spend time alone with the friend 9. Engaging with the friend in ways that would upset you if your partner did the same thing with someone else **Address the behavior...attacking and accusations get you nowhere. Ask them why they are doing the behaviors. Address the root issue. If your partner is the right one for you, it can be fixed. If it cant be fixed, you should split up to find the right partner.

[@kimberlyedgett3592]

Every time I try to ask him he gets defensive and says I'm crazy and I'm sure he gaslight me. But this other woman lives in another state. But I know down inside he loves her.😡🤬

[@lisacowan2248]

@@kimberlyedgett3592 bite the bullet girl...dump him

[@kimberlyedgett3592]

@@lisacowan2248 ik. But I've been with him for 26 yrs and I love him. I'm hoping by me being happier, praising him and changing my whole attitude will make him realize we are meant to be together. Hope it works.

[@lisacowan2248]

@@kimberlyedgett3592 good luck.

[@raebell3538]

@@kimberlyedgett3592 Men always say you "crazy" when there's some form of dishonesty. In other words, you're right about your intuition.

[@KarmenMartz]

I left my ex husband because of an emotional affair. I felt like that was more painful because I read what he wrote to another woman and I can't unsee that. I am 7 years passed that relationship but I will never allow that in any future relationships.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏

[@nontsikelelokhasu5257]

All of these scenarios are so true. The worst feeling is being on the receiving end of this emotional cheating. It really affects your self esteem as a women, when your partner is emotionally cheating. The most liberating thing I could do was walk away from my marriage and heal from that experience.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.

[@chantehowe7798]

@Vanessa Louis I had to walk away ftom my marriage my husband wouldn't stop no matter how much I tried talking to him reaching out to him and offering marriage counseling he never showed effort or interest 25yrs wasted because he wanted more and I wasn't enough

[@yesibot.2051]

I see all these scenarios playing at the moment I have addressed my concern twice and have been assured it’s nothing. Their friendship is still going and I’m in the waiting game of when the bomb will explode. So she’s not hiding , they’re both in after school activities with the kids and I work so I’m not there … So I feel crazy when I see the chemistry and have to remind myself “it’s just friendship” … is it worth it

[@Dejahs1]

Anytime that you’re entertaining, texting or discussing any issue that you would feel uncomfortable participating in with your partner standing right beside you, it’s an indiscretion. Once you open up to someone that your spouse isn’t aware of, something is definitely not right. Yes, a vibe is definitely there and once you start looking forward to speaking with your friend secretly, this is how it begins.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Most definitely!

[@yulandadixon3659]

Amen

[@miriamuduji4344]

So true 💯.

[@queenefuah444]

👍🏼

[@johnbyrne5645]

My wife joined a gym.Then spoke to a friend that was an upair that revealed to her his worries for her future.Should I be suspicious?

[@msnyc3]

There Are Emotional Affairs Going On In The Workplace Everyday, We Need To Be Careful With The Terms Like Saying Someone Is A "Work Husband" Or "Work Wife". It Doesn't Even Sound Innocent To Me. Especially If You Know That Person Is Married Or Is In A Relationship Already, Just Stay Professional Period! 🤷‍♀️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Indeed, it really helps when we embrace being profession, thank you for sharing I appreciate your feedback!

[@msnyc3]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks You're Welcome And Thank You For These Informative Videos! 🙏

[@queenefuah444]

👍🏼

[@kwm9315]

Never understood the work husband/wife thing! I mean, the very name is just... it's like a work name for potential affair partner

[@lisadaoued-ouhssain7052]

I totally agree! I have heard that term so many times and it makes me sick...if a person I vested all that energy and attention to their partner that they invest in the "work husband" or "work wife" the marriage would be strong and grow

[@shawancollins6457]

I've recently only realized that this is what has been going on between me & my ex for 8 years now. We're both in other relationships but we talk every day providing mental & emotional support to each other. & I recently realized it is an emotional affair. It also feels very addictive. He literally cries to me & I cry to him. But, we don't want to be together in a relationship. This is toxic behavior. And, now that I'm aware I will not continue it.

[@ericajanellelifecoaching]

This is such an important topic! This is happening everyday. I don’t want anyone of the opposite sex to be closer to me than my partner.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Indeed, it really helps when you embrace that. Thank you for sharing!

[@joanmacke7006]

He is the BEST

[@shadaiwalker8516]

Facts

[@Just_my_opinion_23]

I’m glad my husband and I both agree men and women can’t be friends… don’t put yourself in a position that you need to get yourself out of.

[@verohb79]

In my opinion, the minute I sense that I’m not his best friend I’m OUT. I know my worth, and I don’t have time to be convincing him to act right. Treat others like how you’d like to be treated is a very simple yet powerful piece of advice to follow for all relationships, especially for the closest relationship.

[@eileenmolina9152]

My husband and his mistress chatting messages were too intimate but he denies that they never had physical affair.. But I knew that he is lying..

[@ChinaDoll305]

He is! I went through the same thing and finally found the proof.

[@ATenderTouch]

Emotional affairs are real. It’s been a more than few occasions where I’ll be actively listening to a guy and the convo switches to his other half. I hold the metaphorical hand up and stop it right there. It’s a no no. Stop being a pop therapist to ppl whose agenda is to appeal to your nurturing energy. When you entertain a convo that delves into his dissatisfaction(s), a line has been crossed when it’s about his relationship. Cut him off or put him way on a back burner and keep it moving. Manipulators are skilled at baiting. Snakes in the grass.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, indeed, it would really help if we can embrace that. 🙏

[@EShavonRichardson]

so VERY WELL SAID!!!!! Gosh I needed to hear this. Thank you ♥

[@skyfall1481]

Any form of lying, cheating, devious behaviour needs to be treated appropriately. Give them the gift of missing you permanently. Always walk, they will do it again anyway!!!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

[@kimfrederick7710]

I'm glad you are addressing this issue. Not a lot of people feel they are having emotional affairs, when they are, this is such an important topic that everyone needs to see

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response, and don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing!

[@sensualshawty]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks This happened to me 2 years ago and now I'm currently divorced and going through the effects of it. And that friend has moved on with someone else but found themselves telling me that they want to be with me but feel like they should give this woman a chance to avoid karma from happening to us if we should get together again. This friend got divorced as well prior to me and my ex became an espionage expert stalking my friend and myself and claims that we can rebuild our trust and start over but mentally I'm done with him. The friend left me in my time of need whereby he claimed he would be there for me....but he moved on and says he's mad at himself for acting so impulsively to move on without waiting to see where he and I stood. And yeah I believed him. But it's been a roller-coaster ride and it left me crying every night cause I'm without someone and he has someone. Sooooo yeah.....I often wondered what was the cause of all this in the first place but thanks to this video now I know. This friend was giving me what I was struggling to get in my own marriage of 10 years. I asked him to marry me and 10 years later I asked him to divorce me. And we have 2 kids together. And it's rough!!! I miss the friend and I constantly find myself asking God if this one this was a real thing or think or if it was just a hoax because I felt as though there was a connection there but the only signs I've been given thus far is wait on the Lord. Be patient. So I don't know if that means that we met each other at the wrong time and maybe just maybe things will work out in the end or if it means that this friend is a waste of time and energy and better is coming. Because I'm not gonna lie being with him felt heavenly to me after knowing him for such a short time and we did meet on our job. And though the intent was that meant to be physical physical it happened. I took the initiative to end my marriage because of what a laid my ex husband become and he was someone that I did not know anymore or so I had to end the relationship. It went so far to where I felt threatened for my life and the friend offered me offered me to come stay with him at his house and the time and energy that I invested in him in that space of time left me feeling weak and doubtful and broken because certain things happened whereby he said things that I was unclear about and I got triggers and left his home and went back to my home. And he wasn't opening up to communicate what he meant by what was said and I did what I thought was right. I left. The woman he is with now when I left he met her then a couple of months later he put her out her out and we got back together. Then 3 months later he said something again that sounded like he threatened me me and I left again and she returned. And then he tries to still see me on the side and though it was hard for me I recently had to block him from all communication and social media just so that he can be out if sight and out of mind. He always said that he wants to be with me that he doesn't want to risk karma happening between us if he was to put this woman out again and the fact that he made her give up her apartment and move in with her son actually says a lot more than what he's willing to give up verbally. He also said that now that he is with this woman he is seeing the signs that he has to change but he didn't want to listen to his ex wife nor did he want to listen to me but for some reason he is listening to her and she's older than he is so was his ex wife I am younger than he is. Sometimes he still runs across my mind but I try really hard to stay busy and work on me like I've been seeing in your videos and reading in your books. Sigh but I'm a total mess. 😔

[@merlebrown7664]

@@sensualshawty Been there , done that and now I’m happily married to a great guy. Also I managed to achieve this through an online therapy session and turns out it was the best $45 I ever spent. I’ll suggest you do the same.

[@jessicawillingham6945]

@@merlebrown7664 What is the online therapy link?

[@merlebrown7664]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks But why do you continue to delete my comments 🤷‍♀️

[@velvedermskin2371]

Violating the boundaries of the relationship indicates that the other party is attempting to sabotage the relationship

[@oneofakindlifestyle]

Absolutely. This can be anyone, even male friends/ to your husband. Female friends to you.

[@eileenmolina9152]

My husband mistress has all guts to call my husband during his off and never even think that I might be around because my husband gave her confidence that she was loved and chosen over me..

[@funmiadeaga926]

That's very painful, I understand what you mean.

[@andrewjr99]

Oh my God finally someone is talking about this no one is talking about this hats 🎩 off to you my man.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌

[@oneofakindlifestyle]

I can tell you from experience, it goes for actual friendships. I had a friend/co worker who I spend a lot of time with. She in more ways then one asked so much time of me. I thought I was being a good friend. I was, but I was being a neglectful wife. It happened to my husband as well, he thought he was being a good friend. He was, but he was neglecting me for his male co worker. After a lot of back and forth we established boundaries on our future friendships. Its crazy that things like this happen, but they do.

[@nimya516]

This is exactly what i am struggling with right now with my 7 year relationship. He has so many emotional affairs to the point i was already being harassed and receive dirty insulting messages already from these women and still he denies and trying to manipulate the situation saying they are only friends and nothing else. So i decided this time to let it go and remove myself from this situation as I understand he still wants his freedom. It has not been giving me peace of mind and has made me doubt my worth and my judgement because he has been trying to tell me that there's nothing more than just friendship although its very obvious his priorities are with someone else than with me. And i know for a fact he will never admit and apologise. Im still in the process of healing and pulling myself back again and focus on myself.. With God's grace and guidance Stephan's videos have been helping me get the clarity and understanding that i need. Thank you Stephan! You are an Angel.

[@DaughterofAthena13]

I hope you are in a better place now, sending you love ❤

[@Ace7of7Cups]

wow, if he;s allowing these women to disrespect you then he's lying through his teeth. I hope you left that playground -those are games children play

[@amyitis]

This is 100% my ex. I told him he was having an emotional affair and I was the other woman because he's emotionally tied to his female best friend whom he talks to every single day. He told me he wanted me to meet him at her emotional level (which is honestly not very high at all) and he refused to set boundaries with her, so I left. I don't regret the decision but it still hurts.... but I know my value, I know what I need in a relationship and I know how to prioritize my partner, but if he doesn't, then I'm not going to waste my time

[@suzy1750]

Good for you. Glad to hear of a woman keeping her dignity in a situation like this...

[@sharonparks5542]

I always believe that an emotional affair is damaging to any relationship.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

You're absolutely right!

[@michellebrown9329]

THIS IS THE REASON WHY I FEEL IN THE POSITION I AM IN, I FEEL SAFER BEING ALONE IN THIS LIFE BECAUSE NOW THAT I KNOW THAT IN THE NEXT LIFE TO COME IN ETERNITY, LOVE WILL CONQURE ALL AND SOCICIALIZATION WILL BECOME MORE MEANINGFUL THEN.

[@cookiesandspice94]

I dealt with this this summer. Now that I’m listening to it, almost all of the signs hit home for me. It’s been a rough year and a lot has happened. Sure was a shock to me but I had that intuition that kept being told it was wrong but it clearly wasn’t lol

[@lisahall8546]

Thank you Thank you for addressing this issue. Just as hurtful as a physical affair. I'm very old school and it's not appropriate appreciated and very disrespectful. Makes your heart hurt

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏 It's not an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!

[@anneaires3984]

Wow, Stephen, just came across your channel.....and subscribed. This was the best explanation of an emotional affair I've heard...and I've seen most of them out here. Yes, they can tolerate the underlying issues at home because they have an outlet that "softens" the real deal at home....and have another life that no one is aware of......I know first hand. Many thanks for your spot on insight, wishing you peace, look forward to hearing more from you.

[@ponko6642]

4 years after the divorce, I finally understand what had happened to my ex. Thank you for your video 🙌

[@kokolatte825]

There were so many great point in this video that aren't always talked about. Just as people might have kids to strengthen their bond, often times parents find themselves in loveless relationships that ONLY revolve around the kids and once the kids are grown, no more connection. Sometimes we just choose the wrong person.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I appreciate your feedback, it isn't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best 🙏

[@adamoart211]

Cheating is cheating! People need to realize that there are more ways than one to be unfaithful

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Absolutely!

[@kourtney101]

I agree.

[@chantehowe7798]

My ex husband told me thats not cheating thats talking smh although he has a brother plenty of close male friends he reach out to a woman co worker and she told me on the phone they was friends however I never herd of her until I seen a text from her to my ex husband he also said it was harmless and I was over reacting and he didn't cheat on me he was venting to her but the messages was very inappropriate for 2 people who are both in a relationship

[@tammyevans5799]

This is a slippery slope that declines quickly..... speaking from a personal place

[@ginagonzalez5763]

Wow!!! That was deep. I was in relationships where I wasn't enough, I'm healed thanks God but it's painful to be in it. The worst of it all is to be deceived and not know it.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!

[@tarotpist_empress]

Your emails are always signs for me …. At the same time, Emotional affairs are more sickening… I’m glad I’ve learned all my lessons and karmas from previous experiences… Karma misses no one!

[@Mekia-hr8qh]

This is why Communication, Listening, Comprehension is so Important in relationships. Not communicating to speak but listen to make a change. I feel if you don’t want someone for whatever reason tell them the truth be honest hell they may no longer want you either. But be honest so both parties can make an adult decision on what you need to do. But give me that choice before you go get with someone emotionally or sexually. People just so damn selfish in relationships these days

[@rashawntaylor4316]

Goodafternoon real good man will sacrifice too make you happy n also ask what ‘s you need help with n what ‘s your future goals . A real good man will put god first in his life n put you properity , help with bills , keep gas in your car n repairs , take you work on your off days , send you roses , communcations is the key n trust . A real man will work too bones make should everything is good !

[@downbad2874]

💯 because this just happened to me like u can’t even tell me wat I’m doing wrong or wat u need from me wen i ask so how can I fix or address it properly

[@rashawntaylor4316]

Just be your self never stop what you doing can I be your friend

[@Mekia-hr8qh]

@@downbad2874 so sad 😞

[@carimoody8552]

🎉❤

[@blackblack697]

It's best to stay single. I'm happily divorced and have been for 15yrs I don't ever have to worry about going back down this road again. Single life is the good life.

[@annettehalter2182]

These are valid concerns in a monogamous…. Relationships ….Well said young man. Not many people care to admit these issues out loud.

[@PattiJuni7]

Thank you so much for the knowledge and confirmation that I’m not crazy and that my boundaries were crossed and ignored, that I made the right decision to break up with my boyfriend. I’m sick of his claim that I’m controlling when I was trying to compromise and express my feelings, and those ‘super nice’ colleagues and acquaintances of him who have no respect for me. Actually, I’m not sure if they even know that I exist.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏

[@PattiJuni7]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you so much Stephan. May God bless you too. 🙏🏻

[@UniqueFit0316]

TOTALLY AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID. 16 YRS. MARRIED AND MY PARTNER DID IT TO ME. MY TESTIMONY. NOW, I'M IN A HEALING PROCESS. THANKS FOR SHARING. BLESSINGS!

[@ambergerman8504]

My Husband started pushing me away when he had a new female coworker at work. She's here on a work visa with her fiance so my Husband feels he needs to help her out where her fiance should. He told me he's emotionally invested in her because he doesn't like the sound of emotional affair. He has pushed his love for the Lord aside because he doesn't feel right having that relationship with God. All red flags for me

[@juliewade8140]

Wow, Stephan you just outlined my married guy friend’s situation. I warned him not to continue this emotional relationship with an ex-girlfriend and that will eventually end up physical. He didn’t realize at first that it was emotional or was in denial but admitted that it was as he thought more about it. He didn’t listened to me, he continued the emotional that turned physical. Now, he is caught up. I am going to send him this video.

[@lichiehrb]

You're a good friend to support him amdnhelp him straighten out

[@rosettemarshall3024]

Many do this due to personality disorders 😒. It's wow when you get home from work and the neighbors tell you there was a woman in your apartment while you were at work. You ask your partner and they admit it but tell you nothing happened...ha!! The boundary had already been set, you are not to be alone with any woman unless it's family...ha!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

It isn't an easy situation but you need to focus on doing what is truly best!

[@Orvsimmons]

I fell into this trap thinking it was innocent because my boss assigned my coworker to help me... One day we're working and she noticed my girlfriends photo and made a snide comment about her... But I actually felt the same deep down... After a few weeks I was caught up. We were never intimate but the common interests and personality that I found in her made me question my relationship...a second time around at that... In the end I wasn't truly happy with my girlfriend and wanted more and emotionally got the attention I craved so long... Unfortunately we fought so much all the time that it took three key incidents to set me over the edge and end the relationship. A few months later I tried to date the coworker and she played me like a fool...I helped her get a new job, great money and find a new boyfriend through that job.... Karma at its finest... I'm still torn from the relationship that failed twice but we're both to blame. I took action in conniving way and paid the price

[@blacksea1726]

It is immaturity and lacking values on your side! But at least you realised it after, most people don’t learn that lesson ever and keep going through the same pattern all their life!

[@kortiniamartin9682]

Geesh! I was apart of one and didn't even know til now. My guy friend who's our kids played football together ask me on a date and told me he loved me! I felt bad and told him "TO GO HOME TO his WIFE" I don't even know how it happened but we have been friends for years. I would ask him about his day even his wife, I tell him to tell her I said hi and everything. I guess my kindness was taken for something different. It makes sad, because I would have rather been an example of what it means to be faithful in a relationship also I'm sad because he thought so low of me that I would allow him to be an adulter with me. Like I wanted that karma on my life. Oh well praying for him and her is all I can do. Great Video! I'm headed to the movies to see Halloween! SO EXCITED! PRAYING 4 U AS ALWAYS BE BLESSED

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

It isn't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!

[@kortiniamartin9682]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks yes focus on what is truly best.... Got it 👍

[@rashawntaylor4316]

Good morning real good man will sacrifice too make a woman happy n also ask what you need help with n what ‘s your future goals . A real good man will put god first in his life n make you properity , help with bills , keep gas in your car n repairs , also send you roses n take you work on your off days ! A real man will work too bones make should everything is good at home !

[@kortiniamartin9682]

@@rashawntaylor4316 thank you! Hopefully God will send you a women that has those qualities as well. Have a blessed day!! Take care.....

[@cynthiawalston6727]

Often times the “friend” may not even be interested that way…the prudent thing to do is dump the friendship as opposed to operating as a surrogate.. the person will find another person to fill the void until they are ready to look deeper..imho

[@AB_1211]

This topic is sooooooo important! Should be covered in pre-marital counseling. Emotional affairs probably happens more than people realize. Just another form of cheating, whether intentional or not. I don't think a lot of ppl know what EA'a are. Great discussion. T/U

[@CrystleSky]

It's good knowledge to know all aspects of emotional and physical aspects of issues in a relationship. Love from a free flowing new youtuber. I respect your content your really a healer

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you very much, I appreciate your feedback!

[@cameron8500]

Glad I didn't get too deep with a person a few years back. They had all these signs. They also had a lot of the signs from your video about a female player. She can be someone else's problem!

[@cindy8275]

I really love how you show all sides of each point you bring up & highlight that all relationships are different & can go through similar situations but for different reasons

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm glad you enjoyed the video, I appreciate your feedback and don't forget to subscribe and click the notification bell so that you can be notified each time I release a new video!

[@EbonyCOliver]

And when he sets the boundary I do not expect him to say “she doesn’t want this or that”. Don’t do that, don’t throw me under the bus

[@cicigetthat07]

Really good point!

[@geminilover8880]

YES!

[@cherylmorgan4257]

I've just came out of an emotional affair this past week. Actually, I didn't realize I was in one until the Holy Spirit revealed it to me. He is married and I am not, but hearing what you've said in this video only confirms what God was telling me. Thanks so much for this insight.

[@Sundaylilly23]

I'm sure you didn't know. Stop playing dumb.

[@sacampbr1]

Wow, interesting but accurate!!! Your insight is not just valuable but is so needed to help us evaluate our situation. Thank you 🙏🏾

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad it was helpful!

[@patriciajones8893]

This is such an overlooked type of cheating. The thing we now call "Work husbands" or "Just good friends", can and will vere into areas that are to be exclusively for that special someone. Historically, I have found that when this element is a constant by a partner cheating is often not far away or has already happened. Emotionally starved people with poor self awareness, overwhelming insecurities, and very little discipline are especially prone to fall into this seemingly innocent to the offender, type of an affair. You will find out really quickly how strong of a bond you have when it's confronted. Either the acceptance of its damage is acknowledge or denied. Denial is a sure sign that you're in the wrong relationship. The first person to know your highs and lows and the in betweens should be your significant other. If, there are only certain things that you can share with them and you hold a certain level of intimacy with an outside person, you Sir or Ma'am are a cheater. Only when the perpetrator can see where there is harm done and why it's wrong can they begin to recognize the beauty and safety of boundaries. Emotional immaturity is wrought with blurred lines. Those who have sensitivity and devotion steer clear of any such attachments. This Sir is good stuff. Thanks for bringing this to light.

[@queenefuah444]

So true, I learned from experience how to recognize emotional immaturity.

[@RhondaR4]

I’m not going to withhold nothing from my future husband!❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!

[@angelataylor4642]

On point!! Thank You…this has been a topic for gaslight in my last relationship and sure enough- my intuition was correct…knocks the wind out of you….but I’m sure I am healing-taking applications in December 😆 🙏🏽💜

[@KnightGeneral]

This is so helpful. Thank you for this. So many Emotional Affair going on in Social Media right now.

[@skyfall1481]

Many divorces stem from online affairs. It will eventually happen to all of us, it’s that common. It’s a joke.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

It isn't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best

[@FTYC2022]

@@skyfall1481 yeap! I don't have social media and prefer to date someone who doesn't engage in it as well. It's not healthy whether you are single or in a relationship

[@kayrndillard6492]

Lorddd I needed this a couple months ago. I got into an emotional affair with someone. And I had to end my 5 year relationship, bc It was turning sexual. But I am forever grateful for the affair bc it showed me I didn’t need to be with my partner. Even the guy I had the affair with said if nothing else comes out of this, he is glad he could help me realize that I wasn’t happy.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏

[@tabitaeguangs]

The guy used you to have his needs met and he is out here telling you if nothing comes out of it bla bla

[@kokolatte825]

@@tabitaeguangs did you miss the part where she said she used him too and that it was an advantage because it got her out if a situation where her needs weren't met?

[@TomikaKelly]

Damn. Imagine how your partner felt. 🫤💔

[@thatgrlsav]

Lmao girl your buggin

[@ThePossumone]

Great video, thank you. For me, bottom line is - does your partner know about your friendship, is this person a separate friend of your partner and not a friend of the marriage? Are they an old flame (old flames are the most flammable) or someone from high school they contacted again. Is the other person pursuing your partner, and does your partner keep it secret? Secrecy is a way to disconnect from your partner. It is very prevalent in a world without boundaries, time and internet, and texting - makes it all so easy, sadly

[@beegee5305]

My beloved ex had the secret thing going on. When I called him on it, he blamed switched and said that I was "insecure" and that he didn't KNOW that I was so insecure with "us" (meaning he and I) Good gaslighting buddy! I said I couldn't be in the relationship anymore if boundaries weren't put up. He agreed at first to pacify me but several days later he "changed his mind" as he said. He said he refused to throw away any of his friends. (Gaslighting again) I said I don't want to be with a vacillator either. So I showed him the door. I told him what he needed to do to get me back (as if he didn't know ) but he only tried to hoover me back with several emails. It was a total world salad and he never addressed the issue.

[@amyitis]

Wow....sounds like my last relationship.....I gave him options on how to set boundaries, he agreed, a few days later he took it back....I don't regret leaving one bit. Good on You for not settling for that hot mess

[@eileenmolina9152]

My husband usually does emotional cheating.. He usually deletes all their messages and it's all encrypted.. Even use ATM card of his coworker that later on become his mistress ordering online and e-mail were even deleted. I'm. Not aware of what their doing but they call each other oftern chat and text each other even though they're both in one shop working and usually my husband wait for her to finish her duty so that they will come home together..

[@evd5826]

An emotional affair all by its self is enough for me to initiate divorce without hesitation

[@megzee5078]

Often times emotional affairs are more painful than sexually affairs. Such an important topic.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

It isn't an easy situation, but we need to focus on doing what is truly best. 🙏

[@missjackson132]

So true

[@Kay00911]

100%

[@abigalestoll]

I agree 💯, I will not put my male friends above my future partner but I will have a good balance when it comes to my kids and future husband.

[@CammyCamz-o8]

Emotional and physical detox from work , friends etc.. is a must . Disconnect to recharge for the better.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that.

[@womenwhodate7643]

Yesss please, this is definitely a MUST WATCH!!! Stephan you are the best on the scene ❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌

[@jonelljones8572]

I watch all of your videos and Lord, I saw me in so many.

[@dianedorney5147]

Great subject...it happens, more than anyone thinks, my first husband had a fit over it

[@eileenmolina9152]

Yes thats 100 percent true he actually change his looks and style and even buys perfumes new shoes and how his pairing his clothing but never does that when were together... Finally I found out he is cheating and having an affair with his co barista.. And till now I cannot trust him no more

[@lindacathey9654]

Hubby kept telling me his gorgeous work friend was just a friend of 20 years yet he deleted their Messanger Messages. I read their messages for the next year. He went to bed earlier than I did due to work schedules. He'd kiss me goodnight then go to bed and mess her Good Night, name, sleep well. When i told him I had two conditions, 1. Not to go to her house alone, 2. No mess. Her when we ate together. They worked 12 hour days so I only had him for a couple hours on workdays. He blew up!! He was always suspicious of me but i never had a close male friend and had no desire to. I tried getting him to think of how he would feel if i had the same friendship with a guy. He just couldn't get it. We were married 38 years AND he use to be a marriage and family therapist. Sure wish I could have gotten him to listen to this. He passed away 17 months ago following a heart attack at work. I feel everything was unresolved and I can't get past it. I keep wondering which of us did he think of last?

[@Devon.Martin]

Hope you can heal.

[@louisaklimentos7583]

If you are in an abusive relationship with a narcissist , it is hard to communicate with them . You rather communicate with others . Sad but true .No one should contact someone at midnight .

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤

[@kwm9315]

Especially if the person is in a relationship. I never message or call any male friend late at night if they're married or in a committed relationship. I don't want their wives or gfs to feel uncomfortable or disturb their personal time

[@tiffanyrivera3648]

😁😁👍😁so that a red flag for me if I do that🤫🤫🤐🤫

[@tiffanyrivera3648]

🤗😁🤗😁🤗🤫🤫🤫🤫that me 🤫

[@jessicaabrahams8168]

Hi Stephan, first of all thank you for your wisdom and sharing your God given gift with all of us. This video resonated with me on such a deep level. I have been dating someone for just over a year now. He is divorced and share custody of his dogs with his ex, they live in different towns. In the beginning I had no issue with this, I accepted it and tried not to feel insecure. However every second week be takes the dogs to her place and sleeps over. He said to me his love for her evolved from romantic to platonic...so the reason for their divorce...I accepted and respected this. However he lost his mom in April and we were already dating for 7 months, he spent 20 years with her, and during his grief he turned to her and completely shut me out. This was extremely painful but I respected his grief and their connection. However whenever we are out together she calls him...in the beginning I was like OK it's for the dogs(his dogs are his life) but then I noticed she calls him all the time for the smallest thing. And even when be has the dogs...so she couldn't be calling because there was a problem with them...during our date night whether at home or at a restaurant...he ALWAYS answers her call. I dont want to be THAT girl that gets all jealous and uptight about an ex...cause I'm generally not a jealous person ....but this has me feeling some kind of way. I dont know how to adress it with him but I realise in not doing so I'm cheating and not respecting myself. I'm stressing because the holidays are coming up and I tried to bring it up with him...he was very evasive with regards to his plans...but I'm pretty sure he plans on spending it with her...and his excuse will be...well I lost my mom so i have no one. This for me will be the straw that'll the camel's (in other words my) back...am i being unreasonable?

[@ysmithriley]

@jessica abrahams Sis, you're not being unreasonable. The writing is on the wall if he is already sidestepping and evading the question of WHERE he'll be spending the Holidays. I think this is a #9 on Stephan's list - the WORST one. If the circumstances were reversed, I'm sure there's no way in HELL your boyfriend would be happy if you were going to spend the Holidays with your ex-boyfriend instead of him. You must find out where he plans on spending his Holidays. As you stated, if it isn't going to be with you, you must WALK AWAY❗ You also need to set a boundary for your date nights. Answering his ex-wife's call during YOUR date night isn't ACCEPTABLE unless she has the dogs and it's an EMERGENCY. All those other calls that he answers need to STOP during your date nights! Does he also have children with her too? By him answering his ex-wife's call during your date nights, it's like you're the third wheel in the relationship and she's the current girlfriend. Sis, there really are a lot of RED FLAGS you need to address and get to the ROOT of why he's sharing with her instead of you. I can't imagine that you feel good when you're with your boyfriend because you're always anticipating that his ex-wife will find a way to INTERRUPT your time together. This isn't an issue of you being insecure. This is DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR on his part. More than likely, he is still EMOTIONALLY TIED to his ex-wife, so he's emotionally unavailable to you.

[@jessicaabrahams8168]

Thank you so much for your reply which literally had me know tears...you voiced everything I'm thinking and feeling. I also feel that it's a question of disrespect... They don't have kids together...I can only imagine what that would've been like. I have 2 kids myself...and not once in over a year did my children's father call me while I was out with him.i do feel that he is emotionally unavailable to me...and that she is his person...the one he goes to when happy or sad...and it's a terrible situation to be in...I don't believe that I need to compete for his love and affection...yet I feel like I'm doing it. I'm not sure that he has the emotional space for another woman in his life...problem is when I try to bring up the subject I end up feeling like the insecure villain. Like I said the holidays will be my clear sign...he spends it with her or in any other way without including me...then YES...I WILL WALK AWAY. Much love and blessings to you❤

[@ysmithriley]

@@jessicaabrahams8168 Sis, I'm happy if this helps. IMHO, HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOU‼️ I'm praying for the best outcome for you. I forgot to ask you how long has he been divorced?

[@jessicaabrahams8168]

@@ysmithriley 6 years...

[@ysmithriley]

@@jessicaabrahams8168 TBH Sis, I think you're wasting your time. 😥 They're NOT done with each other. Wondering now why they even divorced. As long as those dogs are alive, he'll have a REASON/EXCUSE to see her EVERY 2 weeks and spending the night at her house. After the dogs have passed on, he or she will find another reason to see one another. Address your RED FLAGS as Stephan always advises and see if there are ANY changes made on his part. If not, you know what to do then.

[@priscillaL83]

My husband always shuts me down when i try to talk to him or reverses the conversation and makes it about him for years hes been doing this. I even told him ive been lonely for a long time and i just want to confide in others. He didnt care and told me to go ahead. So I warned him several times and he refuses to change so really its his loss one day.

[@TomikaKelly]

If you want to confide in others and he is okay with you confiding in others, then what is the issue? Your marriage is working perfectly fine to me, it sounds like.

[@cynthiagomes2979]

I'm having an emotional affair. We are connected. I can't wait to cross the line.😊

[@L.RaeHoldt]

Great. Have fun dealing with your selfishness.

[@erinedwards6970]

This was an GREAT as well as an VERY important topic. ❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!

[@TairaMoniqueWyatt]

I really understood when you touched on getting from the source of your kids. We jus need better self love and better boundaries.

[@rhondagraves5983]

I was madly in love with a guy who was also at or to some point madly in love with me but he constantly confided in other people even regarding our relationship and not me whom he said he wanted to maryy

[@versatile3169]

Great topic! You disect things one at a time and teach us to analyze to understand.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!

[@peaceandquiet62]

My ex-husband always had emotional affairs throughout our ten year marriage. One of his co-workers/friends would tell me something negative he said to her in confidence about me at company parties. Once my ex and I double dated with this particular woman and her finance to attend the Houston Rodeo. My ex-husband and his friend showed up dressed alike as if they were a couple. They both had purchased snaked skinned boots with matching belts which were quite pricey. My ex-husband bought me her favorite perfume as a gift. When we moved out of state this so called friend showed up at our house with fresh baked cookies for my husband. He rarely opened up his mouth to communicate with me but always nurtured friendships with others

[@aliciahartline4870]

Wow this is good, thank you for the breakdown. I realize this is happening a lot.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!

[@MSHOLLYKAY68]

Your a gift from God tome. I am taking notes. So sad, but every vid I see is like your speaking to me. I did what i needed to do, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for giving me the peace of mind that I have needed. Trauma bonding is real and THANK GOD you showed me the truth.......I am healing and doing great now and for the first time I LOVE ME! I respect me and wont allow ANYONE man or woman to disrespect me. Thank you........from the very bottom and top of my soul.........thank you!! Heidi

[@ambikaananthapadmanabha2860]

This is wast my exactly happened in my life… my husband introduced to me to his women colleague and even she introduced her family to my husband and got close eventually… as a wife I have experience all the points which u discussed coz that’s the same way my husband was reacting with me… I was always giving a red flag that it is more that a friendship and be away from her.. but he was always defending that, I’m possessive and insecure and doubtful character and finally gv me a tag of Mental illness.. actually he was getting mentally ill and was arguing as is he has not having any illicit affair or physical relationship with his lady colleagues, she and he just share their sorrows together, that’s it!!!

[@merlebrown7664]

Personally I think a lot of people need to start attending therapy sessions when it comes to issues like this. Turns out it was the best $45 I ever spent. Anyways , been there , done that and now I’m happily married to a great guy ❤️❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Indeed, it really helps if we embrace therapy and healing. Thank you for sharing I appreciate that ❤

[@suzan655]

When a partner has been in an emotional affair and eventually led to a physical affair... It can and has caused so much heartbreak even to the point where the person that has been hurt so badly to try and end their lives... And at the end when meeting a new woman or man it could and does cause trust ssues...Not easy for people to fully trust again... Sometimes what the man or woman went through in their relationship or marriage ... Is to believe what if it happens again and also thinking to themselves all are the same!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!

[@suzan655]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks you are welcome, thank you for all your advice, it's much appreciated. Be blessed.

[@beegee5305]

Why would that be? That the person isn't in a relationship with the person they have the strongest feelings for? Would love to read the studies and articles on that.

[@amyitis]

Because the feelings aren't mutual. My ex had/has feelings for his girl best friend, but she didn't feel the same way about him. They're inseparable, talk every day....he refused to set boundaries with her when I dated him.... his priorities are with the person he wants to be with. Plain and simple.

[@deeeeeeezzzzaaaa]

I think that can also be the case for example in arranged marriage situations or in cultures where there is pressure or expectation to be with who your elders chose for you.

[@apriljanefajardo7250]

For me, your words and explainations are super accurate!!! Really learned a lot, thank you!

[@narviaflournoy3869]

Therapeutic approaches and smile !! 😊⛷🌱🛠👣🙏🏽 Amen Amen !! Thank you for sharing this beautiful message !!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

You are so welcome ❤

[@narviaflournoy3869]

Amen Amen !! Took me by surprise, I went deep into pray; thank you Jesus !! 😊👣🙏🏽

[@musclegurl8302]

Hi Stephan, I like that your speaking to the heart of this matter, sometimes people aren't aware of this, sometimes they are aware and say oh well, what is not realized is these things interfere with relationships not only that are already in place but having emotional affairs interfere with relationships that could be as well. Therefore, this type of affair ends up being to the benefit of the ones involved, however, to the death of the existing relationship. The kicker is if you continue the emotional affair, the person you are participating with the emotional becomes guarded to not allow any relationship to continue that doesn't include them. I say that, to say you are still bonding with this individual and just be careful of that because it may be a benefit that becomes something you might not want to deal with once it changes. Stephan I appreciate you king, thank you 👏🙏👍❤👑💐

[@darciborelli9153]

This is incredible!!! TY 4 telling about this! This is a eye-opener and I pray that many people will take this issue & face it. U R Amazing! Greatly appreciate every, all your teachings. Actually every one has helped, made me change, think of handle things differently. God bless you always praying for U🙏🏾🥰

[@tiffmoore8831]

My last relationship, was gaslit the entire time when I confronted him regarding the situation.

[@khemaloving4031]

Dude tried to turn me into that “friend.” Told me he was still married AFTER we went out. I made certain she hung out with us everywhere. He didn’t like it at first but realized he was wrong. And when three became a crowd, I added one more. Fun times!

[@razanisaac6498]

This is so true! My partner has all these female friends that he entertains nothing sexual in their messages but for some reason I haven’t met not even one face to face. His excuse is they live far and he’s busy. I even caught him once entertaining a woman he met in the past through bumble, until I caught him messaging her. Told him to tell her he has a gf once he did she was offended and said too bad She didn’t made the cut 🤣

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️

[@razanisaac6498]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks do you offer any 1-1 counseling?

[@benitshi]

Can you do a video about connection vs attachment?

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!

[@benitshi]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks Yay 😃

[@lichiehrb]

Great topic

[@juliesnyder4015]

Excellent. Just found you and your insight and deep explanations are valuable. Thank you! 🌺

[@lindaperson382]

I keep you in my house all the time when I listen to you i benefit from it a man like you is one of a kind

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌

[@ablakley8302]

Whew the gems dropped in this video are stellar!!! 💎

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you!

[@MegaJason800]

Thanks!! For this video my brother, I just got out of a relationship due to this factor. It wasn't physical or maybe it was but I didn't give it that much time to get to that point. Entertaining others through your phone and social media such as ( Face timing, sending pictures/ videos, phone sex or anything in that nature) with your ex or so called friend is considered cheating. Caught her red handed but was still in denial. Life to short play games, I nip it at the bud jack. Big world and plenty of people that I haven't came across yet.

[@pculo75]

Stephan didn't like that

[@meli4822]

Hello Stephan I'm going through something like this except we are engaged, we use to be so close and talk about everything, do everything together, ge along well, until people start complaining about what he doesn't do anymore. We haven't been the same since.

[@DianaFlorea-j6s]

Love your channel, a lot of insight and you are always right and on point, you are also very funny and it's fun to listen to you talk, never boring, very entertaining

[@anastasiasharidaali8217]

Such a great topic.. love the points you brought out.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching I appreciate your feedback!

[@Trendsetanista]

You teach with your soul... And a deeply sincere in your coaching Quality💯💢🤔Wow. Amazingly Rea,l New video.!👍👏👏👏💥💥💥Nailed it. Realistic truth I've ever heard off a Man's lips

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤ 🙂 Thank you very much, I appreciate your feedback!

[@Trendsetanista]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks Its appropriate. You Work hard and it's Quality Relationship advice. My pleasure to be appreciated. 🙏it's only after deep contemplation.

[@rhondagraves5983]

Boundaries are extremely important

[@DivinelyGuided777]

Good evening Stephan, I do agree with you; but some peoples intentions are not good or on the up and up; boundaries need to be established and not broken; if you really truly love someone, it need to be said directly and shown wholeheartedly; both parties much maintain a level of respect; and again boundaries must be respected, otherwise, it is a clear deal breaker.🙏🏻

[@thisismystone9658]

This is so exposing. I am imagining the vast numbers that are bursted 😝... Thanks for preparing and sharing.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad you found it valuable it's my pleasure ❤

[@isa1894]

Thanku for discussing this..I had to break up with someone for this very same reason.

[@dec23]

I'd like to add a few more coming from the "friend" point of view. For context I'm a woman who likes women, I'm also single. This whole scenario happened to me recently. It was confusing as hell and frustrating. I've never been lead on before. Sure I liked it, but I assumed this girl was in an open-relationship due to the amount of signals she was sending me and how much time we were spending together. I finally addressed it with her, she obviously wasn't surprised but did stop my physical advances. However, she allowed my verbal advances. We had quite an intimate discussion about our feelings for each other, including her saying she wished this happened years ago (before her bf). It was quite intense for someone who is in a committed 6 yr. relationship. I just kept thinking, why is she in a relationship with this guy? - they never talk about their bf/gf. Like EVER. - they tell you things like "I've never been able to talk to someone like this," or "we talk so well together." - they discuss difficult topics with you, that have been on their mind. e.g. not wanting children. - they dress up for you (different to how they normally dress). - y'all always meet up alone. Like a date. - leaving each other is difficult, staring into each others eyes when trying to leave. But also, staring in general. - questionable texts - if you have been honest about your feelings, they still want to be friends to keep you around.