The best relationship advice no one ever told you

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WHO AM I
Hey there, I’m Clark Kegley, a pro drummer turned self-improvement advocate. Here on KZbin, I provide guidance to help you transform into your 2.0 version.
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[@clarkkegley]

You loved some of our other videos on this topic... so thought I'd share the 3 BEST pieces of advice I've heard on relationships. Remember, all there's ONE common denominator to EVERY relationship you've had in the past, are in currently, or might have in the future.... YOU! That's why when you shift into the highest version of yourself, ALL your relationships improve. We've helped hundreds of people this year alone just like you create and shift into that 2.0 version of themselves using Identity Shifting. Want some more info? Wondering if it's for you? Check out this free vid that'll fill ya in a bit more ➡ www.clarkkegley.com/free-case-study?sl=yt-relationship

[@caseyscottclegg]

Kinda bummed there are no captions. It makes it difficult to be able to watch the video.

[@ajshribbs]

Thanks Clark! This vid and quote struck true as an arrow to the heart. I needed this today, thanks again!

[@kellieknight9654]

💯

[@alexpadilla144]

Llllll

[@davidnewelljr1944]

Good stuff. Very true

[@jonathanhinson7397]

I loved this. "Instead of trying to find the right person , become the right person"

[@wyattrussell525]

When your turbulent an assertive women will come along and make you their bitch

[@nofybn7794]

What crap. I am the right person.

[@watp5552]

But changing who you are to please a person doesn't last unless u change to who u want to be and it pleases them

[@ericalinmorales676]

Lmfao I text my man real quick

[@Haileyrodriguez288]

Makes no sense

[@oliviaharris5957]

“Stop trying to LOOK like the 10, and focus on BECOMING the 10.” THAT. IS. SO. GOOD. THANK YOU.

[@fingreen2663]

I think I’m happy with an 8

[@mumuuuuo]

Keep working on yourself. But also know that you’re perfect the way you are and you can be love just is. Despite all the flaws. You love yourself no matter what you are right now unconditionally or where you’re going to be. And know that others can and is going to appreciate and love you the same way. Through the journeys. Through the struggles. You are giving thanks and gratitude for all the abundance you currently have and you are drawing more to. You are bettering yourself for yourself and your loved one, a conscious committed dedication and devotion. Everybody wins.

[@jackalkin6757]

For some reason, I can imagine this in other ways, including relationships.

[@lilianemurekatete6593]

Be authentic.

[@Flight000]

It's both. Focus on improving yourself and you physical appearance

[@brandonf5558]

As my father in law once said, "Live your own life, and look next to you, and you might just find someone going the same path as you, and that's a good start." I think this is the best way to find a "compatible" mate. Honestly you don't have to be compatible, to love, because you can love anyone, but it may be work. So to find someone along the same path, makes it much easier.

[@juliekrol]

I love what your father in law said…it may need to become a song of mine ❤️

[@AhmedSaad-bx7ij]

that's very wise actually, Big thanks to your father 👌

[@OfficialIreneGratil]

My

[@notsure6915]

Wow that's awesome

[@sauravistheascended7161]

You can’t love anyone, that’s not how humans work. We have preferences duuuhhh Your source: Trust me bro

[@NickNotas]

Attraction alone is not enough. Just because you _feel_ good with someone, doesn't mean you can build a healthy long-term relationship. You need to align on values, respect one another, and have good communication. Well said Clark.

[@QUINTUSMAXIMUS]

Yeah, definitely. My ex and I were attracted to each other, but our ideas of what it takes to make a relationship work didn't align. I believed that a good friendship, having the same values are key, not infatuation. A lot of people are super into infatuation because of Hollywood, Korean dramas. The world isn't the movies.

[@ohdear2275]

You're so right. You must also have shared values, emotional maturity, a shared vision and blendable lifestyles. I learned this the hard way. Chemistry and mutual attraction are not enough to start a RELATIONSHIP. Chemistry and mutual attraction are just enough to DATE to determine if you have the other components. The purpose of Dating is to learn about each other, to determine if you should even pursue a long term Relationship.

[@phantomdaze2599]

I have that we click a little bit but I'm not really attracted to her. I feel like its a chore to date her.

[@ADHDDoc]

that initial attraction is simply hormones playing tricks on you.

[@pradagirl777]

You’re right. 10’s attract 10’s. I’m focusing on myself. ❤️

[@privateequityguy]

*"If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can't hear them..."* If you are reading this, I hope you have an amazing day!

[@andreacastroamezquita3988]

I know it's completely unrelated, but your user name is super cool and original! Just wanted to say that, have a great day!

[@zozzex]

u 2 brother

[@Prettybadhaitian]

this right here

[@isaiahminott]

Not to rain on the parade but that's not good advice it sounds nice and driving but doesn't mean much. It gives the idea that if someone tells you something you don't like them blindly ignore them. And in a relationship sense it's not good to listen to everyone but it's also terrible to not listen at all. If someone who loves you have it be dad,brother,sister,mother best friend or watever it offering experience wisdom it's best to have an open mind.

[@anonima1964]

Thank you, but since i'm here...

[@chelseamoneill7717]

Most people looking for “the right person” forgets to think that the other person has needs and dreams of their own.

[@IconMan-qc1ys]

You’re right and I love your perspective. My name is Steve, can I be your friend?

[@CdHarmon-u2j]

Hello beautiful

[@FenyaFirewolf]

The most important thing in any relationship is good communication.

[@oscarbear7498]

Yep. No matter how bad life gets, if you have good communication, everything works. No matter how wacky things get

[@shawnkee8689]

Say it louder!

[@fawzee_em]

I always say comprehension is more important. You can communicate all you want but allowing yourself in the shoes of your partner to understand things from their perspective, even if the communication is not that effective on the other end, will make things easier to solve and to live by.

[@jkjokero3421]

he spittin

[@keeswayze7975]

Comprehension as well

[@chris.bussing]

“10’s attract 10’s - Not just looks wise but energetically, lifestyle wise, communication wise, value wise, job wise, social circle wise - you don’t attract who you want you attract who you are”

[@melissabee4052]

This right here 💖💖 But how many mes can I attract? 😂 cos I had that person then we had to break up cos the circumstances weren't so favouring..distance but I do hope I'll meet them one day. Even tho they legit talked about "getting another girl" right when we were saying our forlorn goodbyes...my heart😂 It bled

[@mskatrich]

Yes! 10s attract 10s!

[@janemike3048]

Hey

[@EveofPyrite]

Not true I'm poor and I attract rich people a lot lol

[@jasminejanelle1228]

Damn I needed this comment. It blew up for a reason. Thank you 🌻

[@toni.bolden]

compatibility isn’t a prerequisite for love, it’s the achievement of love.

[@beautyjoseph7763]

Hi I just got my relationship fixed and my ex is back to me and we are living happily like never before i got help from a relationship expert

[@nataliajason2193]

How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc

[@takecontrol000]

Wow I was having thoughts about it.. If compatibility and love have their own parts like yes you can fall in love but the Compatibility part got me. When love happens and you see what interests the other I m sure the other partner will too have patience and also work on the their own selves or icks they get from each other and then the compatibility part just happens with effort and time almost like cultivating the love and fondness resulting with good rapport/compatibility.

[@LucyHalbert]

Hello how are you ?

[@mariewiggins1]

Yah it’s true

[@knickandknac]

"you don't manifest what you want you manifest who you are" YES.

[@thevectorvolume6424]

Then why I am not attracting people like me..

[@Marreization]

How do you do that?

[@jodelthing588]

Cap

[@peacejoy3629]

Bs!

[@boondockbwoy14]

Very deep I like the whole knowledge of this

[@missstorme2771]

Best relationship advise I ever got was, "Don't look for the right person, become the right person for YOURSELF and the right person will be drawn to you"

[@Abhishek-vz6ud]

When issues develop in a relationship, many people consider leaving. But I've learned that it's critical to talk about and work on relationships on a daily basis. Especially if you really love the person, but I get it sometimes it’s hard. So, for those times we use lovify’s couple games, to share our expectations. We are now trying to open up about topics we previously avoided ❤

[@namioliver232]

Yeah it’s better to be open to your partner when you have a thought about him/her

[@RBN_M8]

Never again will I be so ungrateful

[@misslayer999]

Being "in love" isn't Love, it's infatuation. Notice it happens before people actually get a chance to truly know each other. And you can't love somebody without knowing them. Loving someone for real is a choice you make everyday. Infatuation while often a precursor for the real thing, is also a precursor for the very opposite

[@zoebeingzoe3909]

Soooooo true! Most ppl don’t realize the difference between infatuation and love. I wonder how many ppl in this crazy century are lucky enough to even feel real LOVE at least once in their lives. Infatuation is self-centered projection. Love is altruism and faith.

[@kelyshacairo9044]

So love is choosing someone over and over again?

[@interneturomagazin]

Well said. Loving someone is a choice (for a person) and a vow (4fidelity) you make to yourself "to be" with that person in every way every day. You must respect and love the other just like you would like to be respected and loved. If you want to not be cheated than don't cheat, if you want to be respected than respect, if you want to be understood then understand and if you want your relationship not to fail make sure the other person has the same values as you. A relationship stages should be: friendship, confiding, mutual goals, physical contact and the last one should be sex (just like the cherry on the cake) only when you are sure you want a family with that person because nothing could change your mind and you are both set on being as one. A child is both parents as one... if anything had or will come between his parents that child will suffer in some way the consequences, so make sure you will always love the other part of your child (your partner). Also fidelity is something transcendent that doesn't apply only to the future. As their child, would you like to know that your parents had other lovers before they meet each other ... don't think so. Because cheating can be done before you meet someone you'll love, just as after. The rest are excuses.

[@dena11118]

That last sentence. Best I heard in awhile. I read tarot...thanks I give you credit when I use it. Much love to you

[@ernestbuckley8671]

Love is a choice. Love is not a feeling or emotion. When someone says they “fell out of love”, they don’t understand this reality: it was not love in the 1st place. They simply choose not to be with that person any more. This is totally unromantic but its a fact. Love is always a choice.

[@rootedro]

The second you decide you don’t want love, is the second it makes it’s way into your life hehehe 💖

[@wyattrussell525]

Super weird how that happens

[@rootedro]

@@Mr.Honest247 I totally feel you. Check in with your energy as your manifesting. Is it too strong? Is there a strong attachment to the outcome? Are you TRUSTING that it really is on its way? Are you letting go? When we are manifesting from a place of lack, our energy can feel needy/clingy. This could cause a repulsion effect to what we are desiring. Honestly the letting go, is the key that most people are missing in their manifestation techniques. I mean think about it… someone that is desperate for your attention is normally pretty unattractive. But if they are rooted in their own confidence then 🔥🔥 I hope all that made sense

[@ivairena3931]

Hello,how are you doing today?

[@lifeisbeautiful7047]

you don't Need* love

[@itsmeGeorgina]

Nah,, more like when you decide to relax regarding it all... then boooom ...

[@Prettythinker]

Thankyou for saying "you dont attract things you want, you attract things you are" cause that taught me alot. I understood more. Thankyou! And also "stop looking for the right person, start becoming thr right person" have a good day yall!:)

[@nataliajason2193]

How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc

[@SchoolOfFeelosophy]

Before you begin a journey with someone else its important that you have a great relationship with yourself

[@draxxx_exe]

“You don’t attract what you want, you attract who you are”

[@LoneLee2022]

What does that mean?

[@wlfie950]

Not always true

[@mikeparez]

Not true at all lol

[@theekaleeb6268]

Cap

[@draxxx_exe]

Y’all goofy

[@inhobiswinecellar9571]

“Start becoming the right person” literally 7 mos after I started working out I felt way more open and at ease. Thinking abt relationships didn’t fill me with as much anxiety. Had a lot of firsts from then. I’m 19 and still figuring stuff out but I’ll forever live by this rule. :)

[@standardofexcellence]

You're on right track lad

[@joaopedroandsan2172]

Self improvment

[@jahfaricoumarbatch3947]

same boat and same age fam. hope you continue figuring it out

[@LokheeNyx]

Yessssir, keep on going! I started working out every second day while completing NNN and bruh lemme tell you what a confidence boost that had on me, since I was doing it for myself! And like a miracle, a month later I got together with the girl I've been crushing on for 2 years without even THINKING of needing to be in a relationship. We're still going as strong as ever and as cheezy as it sounds, work on yourself, and become the right person like you've been doing the past few months. You'll gain confidence like drinking water and damn is it a good road to travel

[@bryangasca6300]

Right un the same boat even started doing auto work on a project that I was too nervous to do myself idk it just gave me a new outlook

[@dymoure]

Romantic love may not be “the most important thing,” but even after watching this video I still truly believe love is the most important thing. Love keeps us going. Love is helping others. Love is doing things that fully benefit someone who isn’t yourself. Believing in love is believing in God without knowing it.

[@kristinasvenska3688]

So u have to work then on romantic things when honey moon phase is gone…. Otherwise is it endless cycle with dif people.

[@johannalange802]

Based on your own definition of romatic love you have a point. Take into consideration that many people don' t have a clear concept of 'romantic love' and don't reflect on it They often confound it with lust, look at it in terms of getting instead of giving etc... So it all boils down to having the same understanding what constitutes 'romantic love'.

[@Unofficial_Suno_Music]

I think people tend to forget when reading something as declarative as “Love is the most important thing”, that that is simply one’s opinion, and many different people have many different views on life. I personally don’t believe love is the MOST important thing, but the people who think that way are some of the happiest

[@dogstick12]

Romantic love is subtracting from another person

[@sethtenrec]

Love is a choice and also LOVE IS A VERB

[@DeJay7]

"Avoid relationships" and "It's not all about love" are my two favourite quotes ... to cope with myself.

[@ChillinLikeBobDyllan]

It’ll find you without you even looking.

[@MrsAlmightyKey]

Yeah, that is my current mindset, which is ironic cause I'm a person that loves, love. Funny right lol

[@nataliajason2193]

How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc

[@ultra.based.27]

​@@ChillinLikeBobDyllan if you are good looking

[@dxminichughes]

@@ChillinLikeBobDyllan trust that. I took a year to myself and told myself to embrace being single for this period and just work on myself. Just casually enjoying myself out with a friend one day, the best woman I could’ve asked for came up and found me. Good things find you when you stop looking so hard

[@LosTacticalTaco]

I'm going to watch this whenever I get in my feels, lying awake at night, missing someone who doesn't miss me whatsoever. I'm tired of holding onto the past, and I'm definitely tired of hurting inside. I need to understand that life is not all about love. It's time I start spending my days bettering myself and not waiting around for something unrealistic to come along. Thank you very much for this advice! 🙏

[@Koliousoe]

Hope you feel better soon!

[@khadijaabdu4298]

Hold out and u will see the light

[@neilhunsinger8487]

great advice in its own right! good idea, i’m there right now. not sure what this “relationship” i’m in now is. most likely nothing. seems like she really isn’t interested.

[@craftcode7468]

peace and prayers ❤️

[@acidbath3226]

make sure to listen to my remaster of the 'drive' soundtrack if you do

[@Blue.Berry.Gums.]

My husband and I have been together since I was 15, him 17. It’s been 12 years together, 5 married. We are both proud of how we operate as a couple but don’t really identify with many other couples. This is the absolute best advice I’ve heard! I’ve had to battle other people’s views on relationships from purity culture to “don’t marry young” and everything between. This is officially my go-to video I send friends looking for advice. 😎

[@aprilapril2]

My 12 year relationship just ended when I introduced him to an acquaintance … he gone

[@nataliajason2193]

How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc

[@Levun7821]

Can I ask you a question. Has there been any moments where you wanted to give up because your hurt or you broke up because you were hurt but than got back together ?

[@danmcmanus8098]

Odd… “purity culture” or most Christians I know (especially women) think it’s the end of the world or they’ll never get married if they don’t find their spouse in college.

[@Relationship_advice12]

Love can be expressed in many ways. One way I know is to send it across the distance to the person who is reading this.

[@carieyounginsurance]

Focus on making yourself the love of your life- all the rest will take care of itself naturally

[@soniapawar704]

How i make myself love of my life...how??????

[@VictoryVictoryMusic]

This is toxic positivity

[@MJisthepowerhouseofmusic]

No. Thats bull. Focus on what you want to see in the person u love and change into it. Ur not supposed to be an egoistic narcissist

[@slavsya]

I've known a guy like that, he's currently 30 years old, Virgin and never been in a relationship but he's very nice person to be around and talk to. Don't do what it is said above

[@socialguarantee]

"You don't attract what you want, you attract what you are". Amazing quote.

[@Arthurs_Playground]

We often want what is peculiar and we cannot fully define ourselves without the help of an outsider's perspective. So I rephrased it for myself: "We attract what we want, we mirror our identity to the ideal person, in the process our ex-identity is over shallowed by our newer portrayed persona, that's why I think what we attract is often different from what we are, we start to see different shades of ourselves through the other person and through realization within ourselves."

[@laurar.2053]

Based on this logic, I don't exist.

[@johnlol8954]

This blew my mind!

[@suga7206]

No

[@fleshytrash]

Lies that is all I want with I could just clone and marry my self

[@jennifercollins5201]

I'm in the process of becoming the person I need to be to attract the person I know I deserve. ❤

[@QUINTUSMAXIMUS]

Yeah, I've been working on myself very hard the past three months and considering a relationship with a lady who I might otherwise have thought was out of my league. We'll see. Aim high, right?

[@ivairena3931]

Hello how are you doing today?

[@Speedypro-hp5dh]

Love this🤍

[@IIQuickII]

Holy shit yes, that exactly the way I can describe this as well!

[@imaginempress3408]

Amen

[@davidbrucemusicvideo]

“Love and compatibility are two entirely different things…”

[@darkwave957]

I’ve been in so many relationships and I’m only 24. Never given myself the chance to truly enjoy being single. Watching this video really reinforces a lot of opinions and thoughts I have had.

[@brodzillagaming]

Still breaks my heart a thousand times over that my ex and I genuinely loved each other and put it honest effort but were just not compatible. But over the last two years I’ve done all I can to better myself and be good to others. Everything in this vid is true.

[@EverythingChar]

Same

[@ciarasutton7530]

God this comment hit me in my soul ♥️♥️♥️

[@leehalloway8787]

Same. I loved someone who would not come out of the closet and was desperate to appease their religious family. I got tired of being hidden. It's definitely not enough to love someone. An incompatibility can ruin a relationship.

[@rachelmurphy9679]

Maybe you just weren’t ready for each other. Maybe later in life you will be ready for each other. When love is real it cannot be broken. Sometimes it just takes time to catch up with each other they you both need to. And maybe there is someone who is way more suited for you. You never know. Just don’t give up hope. Hope your heart heals soon.

[@kaitlynng7214]

same here but it gets better

[@adolfoduarte3719]

The best advice I've heard was "You can love anybody as long as you're willing to love them, emotions change don't base your relationship off of love but instead off of how they will help you improve yourself and vice versa"

[@aarathi010]

Nice thought, but not exactly applicable for people on the aromantic spectrum.

[@Eirud]

Relationships are significantly more about creating something with someone rather than finding the perfect partner. Find someone you think is attractive, that you can trust, that you maybe share some ambitions with, and then put the effort into creating your relationship. Throwing beautiful colors at each other will make a masterpiece much less often than using a brush and placing those colors where you truly believe they make sense.

[@thomaswaffle5121]

That's the biggest problem in relationships. Not being yourself and them not being themselves and after a while, the real comes out and incompatibility is undeniable.

[@janemike3048]

You are right about that most relationship suck

[@janemike3048]

Happy weekend

[@janemike3048]

Where are you chatting from

[@jkjokero3421]

No bitches?

[@mickeyc2137]

the main problem is is that almost no one chooses to love themself. Thats why they keep ending up in failing relationships. Learn to love yourself first, when you do that you are choosing yourself and choosing happiness and then you will become the right person for you and then attract to you a person who is another form of you to love you just as much.

[@veronica587]

True. And most times meet people that just turns our world around and we can't help but love them and love ourselves more for loving them. Love is like an ocean, you just can't measure it's depth

[@leoniea138]

Relationships are hard work. I can not change myself for another person . I'm happy alone and content. I need nothing . What a great life . At peace always.

[@ivairena3931]

Hello,how are you doing today?

[@maramariajarvis3425]

Omg, yes!

[@tootstoyou1]

I hear ya sister! And feel the same! 🥰

[@andrewmarvell5137]

Yeah your right but I need someone to feel up the empty space in heart

[@MrsYolandicook]

But… still you are on here. I’m not meaning that as a slight, but there must be a part of you that knows you wouldn’t say no if the right person came along.

[@thesouthernbandit3752]

“Success is mental” best advice I’ve ever gotten. I’ve been through a lot and if you just tell yourself you’re okay and you do things that make you happy and you just say that pain doesn’t exist then it won’t, you’ll only feel how you think you feel

[@jolyenslik44]

It really does not work like that💀 being delusional about one’s pain doesn’t mean it’s actually been resolved

[@thuydungie]

i kinda get where that is coming from but telling yourself that certain pain doesn't exist can lead to you bottling everything up and then it gets *really* dangerous. it's okay to acknowledge that you're in pain and work on it without letting it control your life. you don't have to be okay all the time to be successful.

[@nataliajason2193]

How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc

[@melodymodica7922]

@@thuydungie yes this is a more balanced way of seeing it, feel the pain but don’t let it consume your life

[@hahaha-pl7ev]

Emotional Suppression 101

[@brandonray61]

Biggest takeaway for me from this was the compatibility vs love. Personally I see that with alot of people close to me and it hurts to watch people lie to themselves simply because they "love" or "think they love" that person. I did it myself for a time and basically put myself in a space where that person could do no wrong and it just got worse than I could have ever imagined. So I hate to see it. I definitely agree. Falling in love is easy... chosing and finding someone you're compatible with not so much some times.

[@nataliajason2193]

How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc

[@juanjosagas2706]

How do you know you are compatible with that person?

[@brandonray61]

I don't think alot of people do know the answer to that question when they think they love someone. I think we choose people based on emotion and feeling as opposed to what fits logically. I dont really believe in "matchmakers" or " love gurus" but I do almost think it takes a third party who has no attachment to the situation to help figure out what who is "compatible" with whom.

[@TammyKaren-ut1ih]

Please how do you know you’re compatible with the person??

[@brandonray61]

@@TammyKaren-ut1ih I don't have the correct answer to that question. I feel like I touched on that in my reply above.

[@josefraticellimaldonado8137]

“Falling in love is easy” im so glad someone finally points it out

[@saswatisaha8155]

This video is the most realistic piece of advice ever on internet! Half of our lives , we spend on watching videos on how to bring someone back chasing you ? How to play hard to get ? And so on but once you understand the concept of deep bonding and learn love like the previous generation, you'll loose interest in people who plays games and so will you hardly have any interest on those videos , etc !

[@earlymedia3301]

Just got out of a 3 year relationship and have been trying not to kick myself for stepping away from someone I was so deeply in love with and who loved me hard. But you really described a lot of what I was feeling and why i couldn’t see it working out. Its tragic that “love is half the battle” but its so so true. The advice on “become the right person” was exactly what I needed to hear. This video randomly came up for me but I’m glad it did!

[@KDbelieves]

This is what my parents warn me about. That if you pick the wrong person and love that person, it will hurt to leave them. Their advice is to make a list of non-negotiables that are heavily based on logic and yes and no answers. Things like, do they want kids. What is their religious faith etc, then you can build love on top of that. If you fall in love with someone that doesn't meet your non-negotiables, your relationship is already a failure. It's only a matter of time before the love can't cover for that non-negotiable.

[@EddyG0rdo]

You will be ok! Just keep working on yourself. You’ll have good days and bad days but overall never give up. Things will be ok.

[@djj54]

Damn this is exactly what im going through (plus a baby) with someone and glad to see we have arrived at the same place.

[@badpiggy2403]

Sorry to hear about that, try to stay strong!

[@mutiaraLUVSmusix]

Just went through this last night… hope things are easier for you by now. Brighter futures ahead 🙏🏻

[@aliengoddesskang9364]

Omg… you’re a genius… And that’s exactly what I am going through. To be the best version of myself - I need to grow up and try different things those are not me. Wow!!! Great job!!!!

[@princewillotosi3305]

Hi can we chat on hangout

[@_sqwid]

My definition of love is wanting to be by that person and have a special connection with them, but to also be able to function regularly even if they aren’t by u

[@panheadgirlofskillet]

I learned the hard way that love ≠ compatibility. I was SO compatible with my guy best friend & we convinced ourselves it would be smart to be in love. We fell out in 2 years because it was always supposed to be platonic from the beginning. After a year of taking a break we’re finally best friends again. But what a hard journey to go through

[@jehandelange6266]

Aww yay, so happy you're best friends again!

[@Cryptoj12]

Currently dealing with this

[@ThomasLahm-vo4ew]

I definitely agree with you not every friendships lead to love. Are you single please?

[@brookhellemons111]

I'm a co-dependant person this was quite hard to hear but needed

[@MzBentluvsluv]

Lol co-depend on u.

[@Kid871]

A lot of people in our generation mistake love for lust. It’s easy to fall in lust but love is so much deeper. It took me a long time to learn this, love is being your true self with someone and visa versa.

[@illy_lia]

is it possible if i wanted to ask you to elaborate more on the difference between love and lust based on your experience and perspective?

[@kristenk708]

​@@illy_lia i will answer, if I may. To me, lust is just a strong physical attraction, or infatuation. Love is soo much more. It's truly caring for a person. Wanting them to be happy and doing your best efforts to make them happy in every way possible. It's oftentimes putting their wants and needs first. It's respect. I can go on but these are the main points

[@qudsiagohar2042]

You are the one who made me change my life just by believing in me that I worth everything and I can do anything, working as a chef assistant to having my dream job working as a manager. 47 Kg low weight to 55 Kg perfect weight. Never being able to communicate my feelings, to being able to put myself out with confidence. Still learning and trying to get to know myself better. This is a massage for everyone out there YES you can do this. By the way I listen to your affection (love, health, wealth in 21 days) I was jobless at the time when I started listening every morning, and keeping myself in happy frequency for all day, I got job only in 15 days it wasn't easy but consistence make it happen. Still learning, working hard to shape myself and my life for batter. Lots of love and wishes for you keep it up. You are awesome. Stop settling start living 😍

[@TilikaVispute]

The fact your autocorrect went from better to batter just shows how much you love your profession of being a chef 👨‍🍳 hehe ☺️✨

[@eloy89]

“What are you willing to give up in exchange for your demands” love it!

[@jessicaphillips5344]

I’m currently on my second relationship that I’ve ever had in my life and I’m 25 and I approached each one very differently. The relationship I have now I started off with rose colored glasses on and I learned very early to let go but mainly work on myself a lot more and the advice is so true I can’t even explain it. And since my partner had started seeing me start to level up and work on myself, he slowly started to level up with me too and it was nice to see

[@Beverleyprince]

I also started off my relationship with Rose coloured glasses, now I am focussing on myself more and levelling up, I see him wanting to do the same. I’ve definitely been slacking, it’s so important to keep developing yourself when you’re in a relationship because it’s so easy to stay still and be comfortable. I prioritised my partners life/problems over myself at one point.

[@voodoodolll]

I've been making some massive strides in my life this year, and my 3 year relationship just fell apart over Christmas because she was too afraid of her insecurities to 'level up' beside me. I'm glad there's a success story out there.

[@nataliajason2193]

How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc

[@SchoolOfFeelosophy]

I feel you

[@Jamie-zi2nf]

I was a hopeless romantic for a long time. I searched for other people's love, instead of my own. "Love" is NOT the same thing as "healthy." In the old version of myself, I was obsessive. Tried to force feelings for someone, then when I genuinely realized them, I tried to control everything out of fear of losing that person. Never actually lost love from anyone; they've always loved me, but I was in a toxic mindset so I didn't believe in myself. I thought I couldn't be in a healthy relationship; that the negative patterns would follow. Fear. That's one thing that "love" should never be. Glad that videos like this are out there to touch on the "wrong" and "right" reasons for relationships. ALWAYS respect yourself and others, and good things will follow :)

[@Daniel-dw8jc]

Bro for real I was like that too.

[@joodeatsfood]

Married at 20, divorced at 21. Should’ve become my own full and whole person before I even entered the relationship. Self love is vital

[@TammyKaren-ut1ih]

I Agree that self love is vital but True love still exist 😊

[@myxomatosis455]

"You don't attract what you want, you attract who you are." 💯

[@saralina1018]

The vibrations and energy you put out are what you attract into your life. ❤✨️

[@ToonTyFo]

Love this advice! It’s not telling you how to date or how to “succeed” in relationships. It’s about truth and looking out for yourself in relationships.

[@hestiaartworks2288]

I have never been a romantic person. I’m a loyal person, a ‘be there for you’ person, and a ‘we can grow together and apart’ kind of person. I don’t say I love you, I show love, I don’t say I’m here for you, I show that I’m here for you, and I don’t expect a person to change who they are for me. And I won’t change who I am for anyone either. I will evolve myself to be a better communicator, a better listener, a better friend, but I won’t make myself unhappy to make another person happy, bc that’s not a relationship, that’s a dependency, and a one sided one at that.

[@EefkeL]

“Instead of looking for the right person, become the right person.” Hadn’t heard this advice but this is exactly what I did in the 2 years that I was single before meeting my now boyfriend. That and the “avoid getting into a relationship”. I knew what I wanted from a future partner. I’ve never been one to date for fun, I wanted my life long partner so I acted like how I would want them to act. I trained myself into being my ultimate partner. An example is that whenever someone attractive on social media would catch my eye I would scroll instead of look. I know myself and I know I wouldn’t be able to handle a partner whose eyes would wander, so I made sure mine wouldn’t either. This is important because even if you find YOUR ultimate partner, it doesn’t mean you’re theirs. You could meet the love of your life, but if you haven’t worked on being a good partner then it can still go bad. So after working on things like that it came to a point where I could say with a 100% certainty that I would date myself AND be happy with how I acted. After 2 years of working on myself and correcting myself as if I were already in a relationship I met him. And this is the part that will probably motivate you if you’re reading this; he was exactly like me. He had the same mentality, boundaries, etc. It was a match that I could’ve only dreamed of. Of course I worked on more things but going along with my example from earlier: he didn’t follow any ig models, his tiktok was only filled with funny videos, he respected girls and didn’t objectify them, etc. He is all that and the best part is that I deserve him. Not only did I get who I wanted but I also deserve the man I want because I was loyal even before I met him. Before him I would of course explore my options with people who I came across but with all of them I knew within a week that it wouldn’t be anything because I knew what I wanted. With him the connection was SO strong that we’ve basically been together since day one. I suspected it in the first few days but after a month of knowing him I knew he was the person I had worked so hard for. Meeting someone and clicking is cool but meeting some, clicking, knowing that that is the person you waited for AND deserving them is just something entirely else. Love is a choice, but even in hard times that choice is easy to make when you’ve worked on deserving them in the first place. I want to share a thought that I had in those 2 years of working on myself that have kept me motivated: If you can exist with your mindset, boundaries, morals, etc then someone else with those same things can also exist.

[@evatoxu864]

Thank you for writing down your inspiring and amazing experience. I read it thoroughly and found we had some in common. Congratulations! I kind of know what meeting and being with the person that you’ve been searching for or even becoming is absolutely amazing. I’m working on it. I know what I’m gonna do now. Thank you for your comment again as it makes my path clearer. All the best. x

[@scottwilliams824]

How are you doing pretty

[@Suihoon]

Your right ❤

[@inhphuonglinh5a-209]

omg it touches so hard

[@PabloCashout-w9s]

Hello

[@Yvonnemorgan2020]

Best thing is good communication ❤

[@BrianOwen-nj1nn]

Hi there

[@ChillGuy0]

​@@BrianOwen-nj1nnrizzler

[@caylieann1994]

I’ve learned, just in the past few months, that you can love someone but not want to be with them. I still love my ex husband, but I feel no sort of attachment to him. My love for him stems solely from time. We’ve known each other since we were kids. Compared to what it “used to be”, now I see him as a life long friend.

[@StrongerThanBigfoot]

This my struggle now. I just want to be single but I stay for my kids. I don’t want to be in a relationship but don’t want to hurt her my girlfriend. At the same time I feel like I’m doing wrong by her by not leaving so she can be happy and find the right partner. She keeps bringing up marriage and I’m just not into it. I love her but not in love with her.

[@dosesandmimoses]

Man.. that is hard to hear

[@Artlesbi]

Clark is one of the few youtubers I actually find sincere and helpful. you can tell he likes the inner work and is just sharing to benefit others not for some specific outcome. anyway i only have gratitude for this channel.

[@idrisuabubakar9985]

I'm so happy to say this I wouldn't have done it if not for the God's sent man that helped me with my relationship thank you once again,his channel ( Dr osayande great powerful healer )

[@ry6554]

If you can sit down and work together in silence and still love each other, That’s love.

[@mrmartinez4188]

Absolutely right Clark. I used to look at it as I want to attract the right woman. Now I’ve learned to just be. Just be an allow. Nothing more nothing less.

[@mikahlactpo]

Whoa 🤯 good video! Lately I’ve realized sometimes in a relationship Love isn’t enough. Sometimes you’re on different paths, you want different futures or you see the world differently, you may be in love but it doesn’t make everything else right 🥺

[@cashedoutmyluck]

That’s so real..

[@deze3692]

thats a whole fact.

[@Jane-gz3nn]

“love is a choice” stop looking for someone else when you’re in a healthy relationship and then claim that you’ve “fallen out of love”

[@frahohen]

I like to say: "Start to become the person a soul needs"

[@michellerains2732]

Become the person your Soul needs or become the person any Soul needs?

[@vincegredo]

Dang that bit about falling in love being easy really hit hard. I remember I went to a party with a coworker who was getting divorced and we all got super drunk and ended up crashing at a mutual friends house. We shared the couch together and then BOOM one month later we’re dating and BANG three months later we broke up

[@ajhill251117]

I came here for the relationship advice but NOW I know destiny brought me here to see how AMAAZING your shirt is 👌🏾

[@veronica587]

OMG! You are so funny and sweet. Such honesty!

[@carolsherman9817]

Pretty good analogy/statement for someone so young. It took me till I was 60 before I realizes so much of these things. Everyone learns at different paces, but always better late than never. thanks Clark!

[@fossforever512]

I feel like the most important thing in the long run is how kind someone is So I always try to be as kind as possible, hasn’t worked for me as far as relationships goes seeing as I’ve never been on a date But being kind is it’s own reward

[@thatgirl789]

True kindness is a reward itself. Good luck in finding love my friend♥️👍

[@michellerains2732]

The world always needs kind people & more random acts of kindness.

[@pizzaraccoon8202]

it’s a shame that so much kindness is taken for granted

[@lucianwong420]

Being kind was never in my favor. People (especially women these days) think i want something from them or have ulterior motives. I’m nice simply because i am, I don’t have any motives. And as you said, it’s far more rewarding.

[@Nevernormal790]

I am done trying. I am a hopeless romantic and been told being too much, care to much, give flowers on a first date = too much, I am done. Apparently showing genuine interest is too much in 2023, I am done i don't have it in me !

[@kenzielove99]

This video came at just the right time. I’ve been aware of my own obsessions and on dating sights like a maniac. It’s disturbing. Thank you for this- sending to my girl friends!

[@osirismaximus2787]

We loved eachother but were incompatible - this perfectly defines the two year long relationship I just ended. I wish I would have been wise to this earlier.

[@AmyRosario-ln7de]

Firstly, Its weird, because at the beginning I thought this was a Mark Manson video, as you have similar mannerisms and inflection. thats a compliment, as he is my favorite wordsmith. secondly, you summed up love versus limerence beautifully. i had to learn to be alone to fully appreciate what love really is. i knew codependence. I knew losing my identity and doing anything to avoid abandonment. i found that love is not ownership. i love people without having to have them be "mine" and not being in a relationship and responsible for anothers feelings is a relief for once. it helped me love me. gotta remember that through rose colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. great vid man!

[@kerigirl711]

Loved watching this. However, I recently read about a study that came out on the topic of compatibility. It basically said something to the effects that you actually make a choice to be compatible with someone, you find common interests, you choose the type of relationship you want to have with someone and it’s all about how you both decide to build it. ❤️ I wouldn’t say to give up hope on someone just because someone else told you you two may not be compatible 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@K5720k]

Agreed, you make your choice in the way that you are still comfortable with.

[@yashikashishodia4161]

You are literally the best person on the whole You tube planet.....everything that you say makes so much sense

[@NedaPeeff]

Fantastic video, Clark! LOVED IT! I so agree with you on all the points you shared. As a married woman who just celebrated her 28th wedding anniversary, I am focused on always improving myself, and I must add that the beauty of having a lasting relationship is to fall in love many times, and always with the SAME person. Stay blessed and great! ♥

[@lorri31]

Question, if you are always improving yourself, is this the same for your partner? If no, wouldn't it make you realise that you are the only one improving and then start wondering if its better to be with someone on that same level, hence you start to lose interest in your partner? Especially if they have bad healthy habits you wish them to quit.

[@scottwilliams824]

How are you doing?

[@JohnMarkerba-lf3bm]

Hi beautiful lady how are you doing today

[@ryanladanyi6956]

Bro I just want to say I watch your videos religiously, you have really helped me to shift so much in my life for the better and I'm grateful to all your teachings, you help me to confirm so often that I am on the right path, I'm an avid reader and we read so much of the same content, my life is better than it has ever been, and everyday in every way it gets better and better, thank you Clark. Powerful point I took from this, "You don't need anyone's permission to be all of you".

[@yorankoppes]

“just focus on becoming the 10” I agree, but I would like to tweak that a little: Focus on becoming your 10. I don’t really care about being fit, so I don’t go to the gym. I do care about being healthy, so I try to eat healthy and be generally active (walking, running, cycling). You shouldn’t care too much about what others think about you, but you should care about what you think about yourself. I don’t know what my 10 would look like but I do know that no unhealthy person is a 10 for me. The health point isn’t the best example because health should be important to everyone, but you should realise that not everyone’s 10 looks the same.

[@beautyjoseph7763]

Hi I just got my relationship fixed and my ex is back to me and we are living happily like never before i got help from a relationship expert

[@ryant9876]

Totally agree and I'm happily in a relationship for 6 years now. The last one is so important for maintaining the relationship you get in just as much as about getting into a relationship.

[@DopeeAssYessi]

I absolutely agree, you attract who you are , and someone actually said that to me , the whole relationships are very much a give and a take. not only take , they are beneficial. you get with someone who gives you something (money , house , car ) and you give something in return (helps with cleaning, bills , etc )

[@dropdemi]

best way to find the best girl or woman to spend life with is to go places you don't normally go, opposites are the best relationships, love is most of the battle imo, compatibility is kinda important but only for certain things but if you both are willing to compromise for love then you'll be living the best life and bringing out the best in each other. Obviously don't get disrespected, but just be a good person and you will find the one, don't ignore red flags, talk about them if you see them and decide if you want to continue based on how you feel about their response. Listen if you're reading this and doubting me, you probably will experience some heartbreak and hurt but as a man we need to see and feel those things to know what to look for. Girls look for guys that are similar to their dad, guys look for girls that wont hurt them :) you got this you'll find someone. Trust

[@jboogie123]

This was very insightful. I’m 20 years young so I’m gonna take this with me forever. Thank u

[@Je.rone_]

Serious relationships require a lot of effort and still statistically they'll probably fail, take it from the lad who was in a 6 year relationship

[@anthonyman8008]

not with someone who is correct

[@firemedic542]

Hands down, one of the best most common sense videos I’ve listened to on this topic. Thank you!

[@evanleclaire]

You don't attract what you want but, who you are. Such an important statement

[@lissette1798]

Wow, "You don't manifest what you want, You manifest who you are." Love the spin on that phrase. Makes you see it in a diff way. So truee.

[@msamios.321]

Nice video! As a society, we tend to conflate love with infatuation, and we forget that love is a verb. Abiding love is about what you do. My husband and I will celebrating our 28th anniversary at the end of this month. My advice to my children was two-fold: make sure you marry someone who makes you laugh, and make sure you are happy being you before entering a long term relationship.

[@thopmsonsmith3256]

Hey Mary

[@adammickievicz350]

I was in a long term relationship of love without comparability, it was very unhealthy and once that obsessive feeling was gone I could really see how wrong it was, especially after the breakup

[@RealTalk-mq2ug]

I claim a beautiful heart-centered healing for the friendship between myself and my best friend. May all visible and invisible support surround us both in the healing power of love and truth. It is possible, it is happening and it is divine. And so it is.

[@fridamonlund]

Yes yes YES, I love everything that you are addressing in this video! Focusing on becoming what you want is a win-win, because then you will both be content on your own AND you will attract who you seek!

[@SantiagoTPC]

I'm trying to make sure my relationship with my girlfriend can last. Thank you for all the advice.

[@ciaranwalshe_vocalist]

This is amazing. Honestly I needed your videos tonight. Just to be able to see the wood for the trees. After breaking up with my fiancé 6 months ago, we’ve had this weird limbo period where we were trying to transition to friends and preserve the best parts of our life together despite the actual relationship being really traumatic. And you put it into words I couldn’t ascribe until now; we were deeply in love, we were also incompatible. In many ways. And both of us have grown from that experience. But I am now going to be checking in with myself to elevate who I am and see what the universe has in store. Thank you for your inspiring and refreshingly non condescending advice! Xx❤

[@Meta.Empress]

Yup - solid - I think another game changer for me was learning that I am responsible 100% of the time for my own happiness and self-worth - once I learned how to love and respect myself, it became very clear who could match me

[@michaelducey3328]

Usually the people who run these videos seem very fake. You are absolutely the most genuine personal development KZbinr I've ever seen - makes a huge difference.

[@scottwilliams824]

How are you doing?

[@MIMC16]

Thank you for this. Im currently in an emotional turmoil after leaving a 7 year abusive relationship. These are exactly the words i needed to hear ❤️

[@beautyjoseph7763]

Hi I just got my relationship fixed and my ex is back to me and we are living happily like never before i got help from a relationship expert

[@otiscoyer5287]

faith with time you will hear take your time you will make the right decision soon

[@Relationship_advice12]

Love can be expressed in many ways. One way I know is to send it across the distance to the person who is reading this.

[@SchoolOfFeelosophy]

Just keep going! sometimes one door closes to open up new doors

[@AdityaArjun-wc9un]

Am so sorry about that but always remember not to give up yet in your heart desires

[@LadyNikitaShark]

Loved the vid. Before I met my partner I only dated guys that made other women jealous but ultimately didn't made me happy. When I started dating my partner, I had friends genuinely asking me why I was dating him because I could get so much better looking guys in the past. I met my partner when I was 32 and at a point in my life where I realized what I really wanted was way over just looks. I admit I used to be very shallow in that department, I dated a few models, just for exemple. There is do much more to a relationship then looks and stuff like that. Meeting someone with whom you can be your true self and grow together as a person is amazing.

[@SerenityVoiceXL]

"That's not love, that's control." SPOT ON, BROTHER! You nailed it with that one!

[@bigdaddytruck3647]

With the last piece of advice, I was accidentally following it already lol, I started dating a guy who’s absolutely amazing and super kind and everything and dating him is making me realise that I want to improve myself the way he tries to improve himself. I want to start going to the gym, I want to start being more empathetic, I want to be a better person. I’m going to try my best.

[@seanlim5447]

This popped up on my feed and I got to tell you. This is the best video I have seen. I broken up with my gf a couple of weeks ago because of comparability issues and this made me realise I focus so much on love that I didn’t realise the value differences we had. I felt wrong to leave cause I love her so much but she didn’t cause she didn’t believe we can continue on as a couple if we disagree on our core values and future wise what will happen to our career, kids, etc. This made me confident now to pursue my own things and be strong on my own and one day someone will see me as a 10. Thank you so much for this video and makes me want to live another day ❤

[@matthewriegner5180]

This is great. I will say, working on yourself also means sorting through your baggage and insecurities. It means that more than getting a job making xyz unless that would be removing some insecurity. But understanding the difference between whether you want that for you or want it because you think other people expect that of you. Find your peace.

[@ChickentNug]

I've been avoiding relationships my entire life. I'm 18, finishing high school, and I've never had a girlfriend. I'm not happy that I was always either too scared or too focused on finding the perfect person. I really feel like not getting into a relationship is one of the biggest regrets I have. It's only going to get harder to find someone after I'm out of school, so I don't even know what to do

[@vanvanxo]

Hey! I feel you. I just graduated this year n have never been in a relationship. I always wanted to have someone to call my own, but then I opened a dating app. I realized I can’t give someone my time when I’m so busy trying to start my own life n also hook up culture wasn’t my thing. Being young, most ppl don’t want to be in a relationship for the long run so honestly don’t worry so much. You have the rest of your life to find someone just be you n better yourself so that the same person you find interesting finds you interesting too!

[@ChickentNug]

@@vanvanxo thanks

[@mama-miadayo]

Hey there 18 years old is still a young age and I can tell you that there is still hope. Take your time and the right true love will come, perhaps even in the most unexpected time. I had a relationship at 16 and I wish I hadn't rushed things, but I learnt through it. My advice is to take things at your own honest pace and don't feel too disheartened cause I'm sure there are also many teens out there which share a similar case with yours!

[@ChickentNug]

@@mama-miadayo thank you, I really appreciate the kind words

[@PyroYeet]

It is slightly worrying that I already knew everything in this video yet I am still messing up every aspect. I've had toxic relationships twice and a relationship with an incompatible but non-toxic person once, and I am currently taking care of those around me and having a blast with friends I just met and yet I can't shake the feeling that I can't be the person someone actually wants. Regardless of how much people tell me I am caring and have a great view on life and that I am a great person, I still can't help but feel like there is something in me preventing people from truly loving me. Everyone seems to be so close yet so far. They all want to be close but none truly close. I hope this is just temporary because it kindof hurts to see people come in for a hug and be happy from it yet you can't feel their touch.

[@MarianaTheDogWhisperer]

Honestly this is the best relationship video I have ever seen in my life. Truly magical

[@shellieblack528]

When truth is spoken it is not always easy to take. When it is not easy to take.....that make a person better. I wish I had known these truths when younger. I am now in a relationship that is exactly what it is. My man is deployed and it means that loving or just being friends......it is a constant process and we make the choice everyday to be together. Thank you so much Clark! The last tip is absolutely right!!! You attract what you see yourself to be. I changed my thoughts and what I wanted to change about myself....and I attracted a wonderful man who is my equal!!!!