The Rise of Skywalker - Why it Sucks

[@violetzow]

I love how rey mentions that she can sense that the dagger has done bad things while holding the youngling slayer 9000

[@TheSqueezey]

I'm fuckin dead

[@NSGrendel]

[@deponensvogel7261]

Hahahaha.

[@craigh4691]

@@TheSqueezey so are they

[@BabysitterSky]

They werw killed off screen so I assume they're fine.

[@onlinestonedogii]

I feel that getting infinite money to make a trilogy of Star Wars movies and then not planning anything long term is the most incredible thing anyone has ever done. The sheer amount of bravery, the complete blindness, I can’t help but be amazed

[@julielove4evr]

They both didn't plan anything, and decided to have different directors for each movie. Some of the upper level decisions regarding Disney Star Wars are just baffling.

[@kanedafx]

And they still made a bajillion dollars, didn't learn anything, and Kathleen Kennedy still has a job.

[@JoeMamasBestie]

They tried to use, "The Force" and it just didn't guide them this time.

[@Rebelrose]

@@julielove4evr I didn't mind the different directors for each movie. I think that was a cool idea as long as they followed the same story set up by the previous one and you had the same script writer for each. But then Rian Johnson had to ruin it by ignoring all of the plans JJ Abrams had set up in EP 7.

[@calebhopkins3346]

@@julielove4evr nah jj Abrams had a plan

[@FBI_Not]

imagine being a soldier and in a meetup, you hear "Somehow, Hitler is back"

[@hashtagunderscore3173]

*shrugs* Mary: “Somehow, Jesus is back.”

[@Jadfisk]

Modern Germany: “leave him to us”

[@zephyr8072]

And Hitler made the announcement of his return on Minecraft.

[@unterdessen8822]

@@zephyr8072 Meinkraft 😉

[@kristinaant6239]

after 30 years "Somehow, Putin is back"

[@hell0zer0]

the idea of Kylo being forced to live with what he's done and rebuild the very thing he swore to destroy as a mean to pay for the damage he caused to the Galaxy (and his family) is not only a very good (kind of) redemption ending for him but also A GOOD REASON FOR THIS MOVIE TO BE CALLED *RISE OF SKYWALKER*

[@boredomkiller99]

Legit it would have made so much sense

[@shawngillespie3532]

Exactly

[@HappyHubris]

That...was in the video you're commenting on.

[@Wra1thdreams]

It's also poetic justice

[@lugasalexander4852]

I don’t understand how Disney missed this slam dunk ending. Even if the rest of the film was trash, the ending was right there for them and they still botched it lmao.

[@Whyiseveryhandletaken6942]

Voldemort came back because he put his soul into 7 horcruxes Sauron came back because he put all his power into the one ring to rule them all Somehow, Palpatine returned

[@yggdrasil2]

To be fair, I don't think any explanation would be satisfying, because it just isn't that great an idea, because the previous examples are from stories centered on the villain returning!

[@yggdrasil2]

@@KenBroo_ Bro, I just said it isn't that great of an idea, I wasn't trying to justify anything.

[@46raulfull]

More like sauron is a demigod and his soul cant really be killed

[@calebowen2006]

@@46raulfull his soul can't be but without the existence of the one ring he can't become reenbodied through his own will

[@mvnkycheez]

(also, Sauron is tehcnically an immortal demon)

[@weaselbatches]

The random kiss between the two women at the end of the movie is just so funny to me because of how it represents Disney pandering instead of actually including a gay main character. Easier to edit out a two second scene than to lose profits in China.

[@SpecterMemo]

Holy shit you are alive Comeback when?

[@warronrampage7371]

True

[@Benjamin_Gilbert-Lif]

Why couldn’t Poe have a crush on fin only for fin to love Rey and it gives them a cute dynamic with Poe embarrassed when he is usually confident and Finn feels even more like Shit

[@jessehenry1341]

Did you get my milk dad?

[@bigboahpete7484]

Ah cool uncle weasel

[@matt15]

It is insane to me that Disney bought Lucasfilm for literally billions of dollars and didn’t think they needed a plan for a new Star Wars trilogy and I like your changes a lot, especially the change with Rey dying and Kylo having to atone for everything he did

[@akorn9943]

And honestly, they as far as they’re concerned, they didn’t. They made a few billies off these movies, they can continue to use them to milk shows and spin offs and theme parks for years to come, that’s literally all they care about, so objective completed. All hail our corporate overlords.

[@roseolivas08]

@@akorn9943 correct. The way word of mouth spreads now makes it so something that is on both ends of the spectrum (great vs awful) a must-see. Encanto was Disney's best movie in a looooong time, but people saw it because the memes compelled them to. Morbius is awful but is a household name *because* it's awful. You don't need to make a competent project anymore. Just something to be memed.

[@Connorthecatsdad]

A hubristic decision by a multi-billion dollar mega corporation? Unprecedented

[@kratoserick]

They just wanted to capitalize on the brand, and to be fair, with that amount of budget it's easy to lose touch from reality

[@dsfddsgh]

This is the same company that was going to have the showrunners of GOT make their new Star Wars movies so they love people not having plans to finish shit off the right way.

[@ThatPancakeCat]

Imagine giving the Knights actual unique gimmicks. Like, one is a hunter who constantly tracks them down. Maybe he has a pet bird or animal or a drone or something. One is a master of Stealth, munitions, defence, strategy, one is an amazing pilot and he has a flight suit or something. Give them some personality and make them feel like bosses. Maybe I just want Titanfall 2

[@pastashack3517]

So like an evil Bad Batch?

[@only_in_starfleet]

Maybe you want TF2 lol

[@JimJams315]

​@@only_in_starfleet If they put Heavy in this movie it would've been a million times better

[@only_in_starfleet]

@@JimJams315 ong

[@vanjahruska5661]

It would be similar to Metal Gear Solid 3 and it would have been amazing.

[@tenki_]

"Somehow Palpatine returned" is a line that for the life of me i cannot understand how it made it past the first draft

[@Satellaview1889]

Somehow this line made it in the film

[@damienkun8786]

The actor even cringed before the line 😆

[@Chimera6297]

yes, that's a very [INSERT DIALOGUE HERE]

[@NTWoo95]

Harry Potter had the exact same story. A SUPER evil threat from years ago has now returned. The difference is that in Harry Potter,’most people need a little more convincing that just “somehow Voldemort returned.” It takes people literally a full movie of calling Harry a liar and a coward until people see Voldemort and finally believe that he’s back

[@harayaalirak4040]

@@NTWoo95 fr, thats one aspect of harry potter that was absolutely correct. a collective people that had gone through a horrific massacre in their history would 100% be in hard denial and fear if they were told that their greatest enemy suddenly returned out of nowhere. there should have been waaaay more internal conflict between the jedi & their supporters before the final showdown

[@metroid97]

The fact Rey calls herself a skywalker means she kissed her cousin. Keeping the awkward family kisses alive for generations.

[@lazarpeuraca9618]

It ain't Star Wars if there's no incest!

[@cadenadelreino1442]

If they had a convincing love story she could have said „Rey Solo“ and they could have make them have s…and now she is pregnant and that‘s how we get a new Jedi super child…hey maybe twins 😂… even this bad attempt didn‘t made it…

[@panlis6243]

@@cadenadelreino1442 Knowing that they made Kylo and Rey get together purely because fandom shipped them, I feel like this could also geuninely make it into the movie

[@plastikrappavevo4786]

Technically it was already incest from the very beginning, since it was revealed that Palpatine was the one who was technically Anakins father, since he used the force to cultivate the midichlorians in Shmi because he knew Anakin would grow up to become Vader. So she's Kylos aunt by technicality, which makes it even weirder

[@barkley8285]

@@plastikrappavevo4786 no it wasn’t. That was legends and even then it was plagueis not sidious who forced the living force to create anakin. The force is anakins father

[@patriciosiles8097]

Above all mistakes, Finn not having a proper character arc throughout the trilogy really disappointed me. He had so much potential but Disney decided to focus solely on Rey and her story.

[@l.e.b.3541]

""story""

[@blah007001]

She had a story?

[@Verminator4]

They should have had Poe sacrifice himself to destroy Starkiller base in the first movie, and then have Finn gradually take his place as the Resistance's top starfighter ace over the course of the next two movies. It'd give him the chance to go through an arc in parallel to Rey and just generally do more interesting and exciting stuff. I'm not just saying this because starfighters are my favourite part of Star Wars and there wasn't enough of them in the sequel trilogy btw

[@mr.dr.prof.patrick7284]

Disney is so racist for making the story about a white girl and not a black guy but they’re not sexist because they made it about a girl and not a guy

[@krocodockle2544]

None of them had any potential honestly

[@charrineau]

I love how so many creators can make an hour+ video criticizing this movie, and all have plenty of unique talking points. TROS is truly a masterclass in how not to make a movie.

[@zonboi2677]

Maybe in another galaxy

[@davidgv3527]

It’s called grifting

[@killer92173]

I mean, the cast and crew did their damnest with what they got. The problem was not only the script, but the fanbase kept sending threats at the cast and crew, and people wonder why the trilogy came out the way it did.

[@yarpen26]

@@killer92173 I honestly would love to see how quickly my superiors would have my ass kicked out the door if I tried to excuse me botching a project by saying that the customer was being mean to me. Can't stand a little bit of criticism? Then don't do fucking entertainment or politics and expect to be showered with cash whenever you succeed and protected like a precious little baby the moment you push out crap. And if you receive death threats, then I want to see the report you filed at the police because I have a fleeting suspicion none of it is anything more serious than what you'd get from a single CS:GO session.

[@killer92173]

@@yarpen26 you seem to forget that Star Wars has some of the most toxic fanbases out there!! These people are ALWAYS complaining about something whenever a few Star Wars projects come out, and many cast and crew members deal with the same shit over and over again. Just look at Jake Lloyd's and even Hayden Cristensen. Both got bullied and received death Threats for their roles, even though they were not at fault!! This has been going on for DECADES now, and people always look the other way when the cast and crew are targeted for cyber bullying and death threats.

[@fivestarman5130]

This film somehow managed to piss off both people who loved The Last Jedi and people who hated it. That might be the only accomplishment this movie has going for it

[@TheBmb2jn]

Yet somehow got liked by 86% of audiences on rotten tomatoes

[@UltimateNut]

@@TheBmb2jn how can they like this mess of a film?

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

​@@UltimateNut Because SW fans don't know what they want. Nobody hates SW more than SW fans

[@joshleftthechat3497]

@@UltimateNut Because they didnt watch the others or they turned their brains off bc "space wizards"

[@infamousplayer8772]

True. You gotta respect that level of incompetence.

[@CaptWarChief]

I feel like a lot of people discount their own movie ideas because "they aren't professional writers", but seeing what passes for professional writers nowadays should really fill you with confidence.

[@rhythmandblues_alibi]

I think a lot of the writers getting their scripts made into movies aren't actually professionally trained. They likely never studied screenwriting, they just happen to know someone in the industry. Or are someone's niece/cousin/son/whatever. Nepotism is how Hollywood runs.

[@ubersc00ber]

I'm discovering my passion for writing after watching Rings of Power and seeing how shitty it was.

[@ChangedMyNameFinally69]

Yeah but YT movie rewrites are often far worse than the movie they're rewriting.

[@VinOnline]

@@ubersc00ber damn me too

[@allanredhill8682]

eh writing something good is still difficult. Seing how so many produced shows struggle with their scripts should show you how hard it is to make something decent. Its easy to criticize these bad movies but most people would struggle making something just mediocre let alone finish a project at all...

[@delvy5685]

The idea of a theater of kids crying and adults being pissed because of Chewie while Cosmonaut is just uncontrollably laughing is beautiful.

[@magic-cola]

I was blasted off of five edible gummies on the opening night of this movie and I was right in Cosmo's shoes when that scene came. I've never had to suppress harder laughter in my WHOLE LIFE.

[@antiseth3964]

@@magic-cola I felt the same way, but it wasn’t the Chewie thing that did me in. I was chuckling to myself the whole movie because of how ridiculous it was, but what made me and my brother lose it in the theater was the Reylo kiss. I wasn’t even on drugs either. Just laughed my ass off.

[@warmachine5835]

@@antiseth3964 I'd kept a pretty OK lid on my audible eyerolling as well, but the kiss was where I just let out a guffaw and Seinfeld-ed myself.

[@h.c.49]

Like that one Charles Addams drawing.

[@LucyLarkspur]

@@magic-cola I wasn’t even on drugs and I was ctfu so bad when she yelled “Chewie!?!?” 😭😭😭

[@thomasmartin4281]

Ben being the "Skywalker" the movie refers to makes so much more sense, and has an interesting twist of "what if a Vader was redeemed and survived, having to undo all the damage he did?"

[@Mullenmeister1510]

I mean, Vader was redeemed and undid all the damage he caused in Return of the Jedi, sooo...

[@admiralweb27]

​@@Mullenmeister1510No, he was redeemed, sure, but he did not fix a damn thing. He killed Palpatine, which was great, but even as a kid watching Return of the Jedi in theaters, you still realize it is up to Luke and his gang to now fix the mistakes of the Empire.

[@deletekeys]

@@Mullenmeister1510 Almost like you didn’t pay the slightest bit of attention to where the First Order came from…yikes dude…

[@Harpagio]

You missed one of the biggest problems right at the beginning. The opening crawl says that Palpatine broadcast a message to the universe saying that he’s back and he’s more awesome than ever. But then the entire opening sequence is Poe and Finn (and Klaud) are racing to deliver a spy report… that Palpatine came back. The entire opening is made completely pointless from the opening crawl.

[@scaryhobbit211]

Poe and Finn wouldn't have had to race so hard for it if they just played Fortnite.

[@ToyFiend]

This was brought to JJs attention while they were making the movie and he yelled, “Quiet! I’m counting my money.”

[@iLLiCiT_XL]

Even funnier when you consider that the dead already spoke in Star Wars, since there have been force ghosts since the originals AND when you remember that Palpatine spoke… in a live Fornnite event… 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@MasterEm243]

not to mention that the message was broadcast only in Fortnite and nowhere else lol

[@Trevendor]

"She is going to make the world know that every rose has it's thorns" is easily one of the best jokes you have made in all of your videos.

[@herdiansyah9982]

Can't wait for metal gear rose 5 phantom menace

[@paveantelic7876]

its*

[@inebriatedfowl3197]

Yikes, better not watch it then

[@channel45853]

if only she had the shaprnel in her face

[@RodrickMarsMoon]

*Is She With You?, by Hans Zimmer ft. Junkie XL, plays dramatically at the background*

[@thomaslaroche9886]

A personal gripe I have with this movie is that the planets are so generic. You have yet another sand planet, another jungle planet, and the most boring «bad guy» planet that is desert again but with thunder this time. The original script had the Resistance take back Coruscant from the First Order. That would have tied the whole saga together, got those cheers in the theaters and make the final duel so much cooler. Rey vs Kylo in a wrecked Jedi Council chamber while Finn leads an army of ex-troopers in the streets is the best thing we'll never get.

[@trillionbones89]

Exactly, all the cool stuff is in the stand alone movies: Rogue One has an imperial installation on a tropical beach, a guerilla war inside a desert/dune city, a trading outpost with a food mile. Solo had the shipyard and the evil crime Lord yacht. But the trilogy gets nothing but the copies of planets we already had better examples of

[@MaxWelton]

@@trillionbones89 I think Ach-To does deserve some credit. It looks different from Dagobah, the planet where similar things happened in its trilogy; it’s a beautiful natural island with an interesting grey Jedi mural and a neat dead-tree library. I also appreciate the little things they did to try to differentiate the generic biomes. Crait has salt instead of snow and the planet ‘bled’ during the battle. Starkiller turned Ilum into a Hoth/Death Star hybrid. Jakku is even more desolate than Tatooine and has cool crashed war machines all over. It is a shame, though, that Disney felt so beholden to the OT aesthetic.

[@MaxWelton]

And that’s not even mentioning Kijimi, which I don’t like because A) it’s where we meet Zorii, who is there to maintain the FinnPoe No Homo Zone alongside Rose and Jannah, and the Final Order blows it up even though we don’t give a shit about it.

[@Icerope-km9lu]

Never thought I would be jealous of an alternate universe before hearing that suggestion

[@thekinqbx4899]

I was born in 02.. No one is Manipulative or lame those movie.. It’s allegation.

[@athenabrown3117]

Y'know, the "ghouls" line makes me think that it could've been really cool if the Knights of Ren were like, actually undead abominations. That's why they have the helmets and don't talk, they're literally the corpses of the jedi Kylo killed raised to serve him and Snoke, and if Kylo still does a bit of redemption and has to fight them, he's facing his own worst mistake as he's doing it.

[@h.c.49]

That's fucking sick, they should've done that.

[@thepriorstone4064]

Actually based story

[@c.h.a.s.e.]

The stormtrooper says goals not ghouls

[@DriverHenryWho3245]

Oh that would've been awesome!

[@davidhenson1316]

Not only did they imply he was force sensitive.. he literally yells at Rey multiple times that he "needs to tell her something" and that plotline is forgotten.

[@jemmellpyron2527]

Classic J.J Abrams storytelling.

[@realog9934]

what did he want to say though? Ever since he said that I was curious. You know first you'd think oh maybe he wants to tell her his feelings but then Rose kind of got the love interest but then not. After that we get the ex stormtrooper chick who is also ends up with nothing. Just take out Rose and that other chick and either build Rey and Fin together or just let them be best friends platonic. Either of these I'd been ok with and expected it but they messed up there. Fin was so cool in TFA man it's so sad.

[@marobrother1751]

You gotta love the jar jar Abrams mystery box

[@Dravianpn02]

I can't believe they didn't make Finn the main character and make him force sensitive. A force sensitive storm trooper. Nope. Instead we get Rey sue and a complete shit show.

[@realog9934]

@@Dravianpn02 i liked rey but she shouldve struggled way more. I think she shouldve gotten beaten by kylo ren and finn makes the save. Rey could get like KO and finn takes a gun and kylo ren gets hit like in the leg idk and he leaves. Kinda like that wouldve been better instead of kylo ren losing the fight. In episode 8 finn couldve improve his fighting with the lightsaber. Cuz that looked so cool when an ex stormtrooper took a lightsaber. In episode 9 rey couldve gotten stronger by then and beats kylo ren then once and for all. But nope lets make palpatine return somehow literally and make him related to rey cuz why tf not. I dont want to go into too much detail so thats what i came up with in the first moment.

[@danieluss8729]

I feel like the “Somehow Palpatine returned” line wasn’t scripted. But it wasn’t improvised by Oscar either. At that moment, Poe became alive and questioned the own logic of his universe.

[@garrettbaratheon567]

A couple points: 1) I came out of the theatre saying the exact same thing about the ending, your thoughts on Kylo living and being the one to continue the Jedi legacy and finding a way to forgive himself is what I was thinking too. 2) I think even worse than “somehow, Palpatine returned” was Palpatine’s “I’m ALL the Sith” with Rey’s retort “and I’m all the Jedi”, and all of a sudden we were in a Dragon Ball Z episode.

[@TheFriley4]

Dude no lie when I was watching this in the theater, very much not enjoying myself, when Palpatine said "I am all the Sith", in the second before the next line my brain said "Omg, how fucking dumb would it be if she responded with the obvious cliche 'And I'm all the Jedi'" and then she actually fucking said it. I think I said "Oh fuck you" outloud lmao

[@swaglessbeast655]

Rey is Gohan confirmed

[@kkkkkkkxd4692]

@Moonlight I do kind of agree that the Endgame line was a bit cringy, but at the same time, Tony was trying to think of a response to Thanos while the Infinity Stones were killing him, so I think it makes sense this is the best he managed to come up with. It feels realistic and thematically satisfying in its own way.

[@maximilianomartinez6130]

@@kkkkkkkxd4692 I think it avoids cringe because it was not pulled out of his ass in the sense that it was the first time ever he said it. Thematically, it was the final epic line of the first movie of the MCU, and his debut as Iron Man. Also, backed up by his arrogant personality. I am all the Jedi just comes as a basic response to a dumb line by the villain.

[@crazynachos4230]

@Moonlight At least in endgame it actually made sense thematically and wasn't just pulled out of someone's ass.

[@XSV15]

One of the things that bugs me the most about the sequel trilogy is that it doesn’t feel like a galactic struggle. The “resistance” is made out to be this small little band of a couple hundred people fighting on a GALACTIC scale? That isn’t a resistance, that’s an ant farting in the grand scheme of a galactic empire. There’s a million things wrong with the sequels, but the first mistake was changing it from a “Star War” to a “Minor Skirmish”

[@abrahampena1263]

Not to mention the first order doesn’t feel as much of a massive threat as the empire They did in Force Awakens but that’s it

[@ThatGuyWithAComment]

Mannn if it ended with “Ben Skywalker” I would’ve shed a tear. That change in ending alone would’ve made me like this movie a lot more.

[@deponensvogel7261]

Could've felt somehow profound and not as empty as it stands now.

[@Orgikan]

And a sequel trilogy of a rebuilt Jedi order led by a heroic Ben Skywalker that everybody hates in some way would be an interesting concept to look forward to.

[@Fleshtornfrombodies]

@S V Darth Vader is about as bad as Kylo

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who believes in him and follows his commandants! Have a blessed day, everyone!!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

God heals depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING, God literally heals my physical pain when I ask Him! Trust in God to heal ALL! He is your creator! Lean not on man, you'll never be healed. Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name, for the world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully!!!

[@thedivinepastry]

When the world needed him most… he posted a review

[@theriddler2555]

that is true sir

[@UNKNOWN-qr7uo]

I think after Marcus made his contrarian video,he needed time and space away from the internet to think about life and consider if he was or wasn’t a contrarian

[@swagwolfgang]

You beat me to it by 8 minutes

[@drigonfirefox]

Right after the contrarian vid

[@mrconga6701]

ok lobotomite

[@buckeyebeliever3397]

I feel so bad for Boyega, Finn had great raw potential as a character for so many reasons, hell, the actor even loved SW but the writes completely stuffed him

[@chaitanyabahl3623]

I was pretty excited after the Force Awakens since I thought that there would be 2 Jedi against the first order those being Rey and Finn but the way they massacred his character in the Last Jedi just wasn't fair atleast from my POV.

[@Hats502]

The stormtrooper turned Jedi arc would have been so cool to watch. I loved Finn in TFA, but China doesn’t like black people so disney had their hands tied

[@clementj]

That's why I love The Force Awakens. Finn was an interesting character and the dynamic between him, Poe and BB-8 was so much fun. People always say they like the idea of Rey being a nobody, but it's already been done with Finn with him being just a janitor on Starkiller base. He was not some badass soldier, but he has the potential to become great through the Force and they squandered it all.

[@valentinlageot4101]

@@Hats502 Nah it is just that Disney make political useless move just to have a moral highground and say: "look I have a black friend" or "look I have a girl friend" (not a friend who is a girl not the other way around). such shameful manner of conducting a movie should be forbidden.

[@paul_tully]

But forget that a major film had a female lead right?

[@itzthefreakinbat]

I met John Boyega (Finn) in real life. Turns out he lived in the same neighbourhood of London -/ me. He’s definitely a really nice guy. When I got a picture of him from these movies for him to sign, he might have looked cheerful, but behind those eyes I saw regret.

[@killer92173]

I feel bad for him cuz he definitely deserves better.

[@RRRRRRRRR33]

He is a very good type casting, the comedy relieve. But yep, after Star Wars he never worked on roles like these again (not that I noticed), he kinda disappeared. I watched just the first 30 minutes of Pacific Rim 2, goddamn Boyega can't play the role of a "action hero"

[@g7924]

You just made that up

[@itzthefreakinbat]

I didn’t. He came to Charter East in London. You can look it up if you want.

[@levantz]

@@RRRRRRRRR33saw him in they cloned Tyrone and he did great

[@TheLonelyGoomba]

I'd rather a mediocre movie that at least logically followed the story from TLJ than whatever this was. Even if it was a bad movie at least it would feel like a more cohesive trilogy that actually amounted to something. This movie is so bad it retroactively makes the entire trilogy feel pointless.

[@darkevilazn]

Yup. I didn't like SW8, but for them to try and ret-con everything, and to throw out the first 2 movies, and just make a incoherent story line with bad plot twists that feels like they just got an AI to write the story with input from a focus group.... yeah. SW9 is the worst Star Wars... thing ever. And if it wasn't for the Mandalorian, it probably could have put a pause on the franchise for a long time.

[@elijaharroyo4846]

Exactly dude. I felt dead inside watching this in theaters. Confused, conflicted, and overall disappointed which then led to more confusion then into anger. The Rise of Skywalker actually broke me in a way that made me feel like watching BvS and even that movie is bad. Man… I was never the same after watching the movie

[@TheLonelyGoomba]

@@darkevilazn That's so funny cos I remember when I first saw the movie, I said it felt like it was written by an AI.

[@whyjon2990]

Same. I didn't like 8 but 9 was so much worse because it didn't even follow the last movie in line thus killing the cohesion of their trilogy

[@READERSENPAII]

I agree. It's annoying how the majority of criticism gets written off as typical, "Fandom menace" gaslighting. The new trilogy is objectively just bad.

[@ricardossng]

the knights of ren definitely should’ve been similar to the nazgul. just a constant side threat to the main characters that consistently pursues them throughout their adventure. start out with them encountering one of them on jakku and barely getting away from them, then build up to a bigger confrontation where all the knights show up in the final movie. would’ve better solved the lack of villains after snoke dies. maybe have one be kylo ren’s right hand man who constantly leads him down a darker path. idk, just about anything would be better than the one scene where they fight and die.

[@KatieLHall-fy1hw]

I feel like they were supposed to be Nazgûl-esque? Which actually would be cool. No idea why they would have cut that if they even filmed that much, or written it out. Maybe they thought it was too close to lord of the rings

[@maineman5757]

I didn't even realize who exactly they were until after the movie was over and someone brought it up. So poorly done.

[@OpinionParade]

Vader should have defeated the Rogue One main cast in the climax of that movie, and being impressed with their skills, he implanted mind contol chips in them; turning them into his personal special ops squad; bending them to his will and making them into the Knights of Ren. They could have been put in stasis and awakened for special missions. A throwback to when Anakin commanded clones. Then in the sequels, they are awakened and commanded by Vader's grandson, but the good guys eventually deactivate the mind control chips, and the Knights of Ren turn on Kylo. That would be a good way to connect things, and allow some of the Rogue One cast to return. They'd have some Winter Soldier-ish guilt and a drive to redeem themselves. Also, the "ghoul" line would make a bit more sense, if they were basically killed and brought back through tech, to serve Vader.

[@Silver-gu8zd]

Personal headcanon after TFA was that I thought the Knights of Ren were what happened to children kidnapped by the First Order to be stormtroopers who happened to be force sensitive. Because why wouldn’t they test for that? Ben Solo wanting to end the dogma of the Jedi and Sith. They’re a new order of darksiders led by him and forcibly made into cyborgs in the image of Vader, who he hero worshipped, to invoke pain and fear. Faceless and without on-screen individualism but still a constant threat. More loyal than Sith but solely because they’re willing to die for his cause: bringing peace to the Galaxy through totalitarian order. Star Wars Nazgûl. Instead we got whatever this was. I stand by that the sequels should have just taken the best parts of the stories of Jaina and Jacen Solo and used those as inspiration without the bad writing baggage.

[@MichaelDeNicola]

GHOULS

[@zackburke5459]

I never thought I'd see a world where the most emotionally impactful scene in a Star War would be delivered by Bill Burr.

[@secondarycolors2947]

LMAO

[@leovincent2692]

🤣

[@murciadoxial8056]

I'll do you one better, never thought I've live in a world where the best star wars anything since empire would be a spin off show starring diego luna

[@dariusgreysun]

Facts

[@mackielunkey2205]

⁠@@murciadoxial8056Damn if the writing quality in the prequels was just like Andor’s, we could have had a fantastic trilogy. I love how they got a ton of great crime movie writers and people who worked in politics to help write it.

[@Psilocybin77]

I remember in grade eight our English/Language Arts teacher had us tell a story via a game of telephone. One person starts the story, and people continue the story, passing it along down the line. This is exactly how the "writing" of this entire series felt.

[@wmhull98]

Ben living instead of Rey at the end of episode 9 would have changed the whole trilogy for me. That is a truly epic idea that I’m sad we didn’t get to see.

[@xxmarjaxx]

Exactly. IMO they can still correct that mistake if they bring him back and actually let him atone for his mistakes and build a new Jedi Order.

[@-whyquestion]

Ratio + K-pop better 🧑🏼‍💻🧑🏼‍💻🧑🏼‍💻🧑🏼‍💻🧑🏼‍💻🤳🏼🤳🏼🤳🏼🤳🏼🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

[@princejugali6637]

When I saw the movie and realized kylo ren died while rey lived I internally screamed

[@xxmarjaxx]

@@princejugali6637 I think that was most people's reaction... I actually wanted both of them to live and start a new Jedi Order together, but if I had to choose I would have 100% preferred for Ben to live instead of her.

[@Riprake]

In retrospect, I could go either way on that. Whether Ben was redeemed or not and whether he lived or died, what's important is: *this should have been HIS movie.* Having Palpatine put in a cameo appearance (in a flashback, which was what I figured was going to happen when one of the teaser trailers featured a recording of him laughing at the end) would have been fine, but what I wanted to see was what the First Order's new Supreme Leader Kylo Ren actually had planned for the galaxy once he'd conquered it. TFA had him trying (and failing) to be Darth Vader, TLJ had him giving up on trying to be Darth Vader and thereby succeeding where he'd failed (i.e. killing his master and seizing the throne from him), and TROS should therefore have been about whether Darth Vader's plans for ruling the galaxy (now that his grandson had effectively implemented them) had any merits to them. It could still have ended with the good guys winning and overthrowing his tyrannical rule (because yeah, tyrants with good intentions are still tyrants). In my version of the story, the end would have Rey sitting on his throne mourning the late Ben Solo's death while stroking her swollen midsection (very visibly pregnant with his child) and telling Poe Dameron that for all the horrible things he did as Kylo Ren, he wasn't entirely wrong, and the galaxy really *does* need a new form of government. While how they actually plan to achieve this would have to be left a bit vague (i.e. she calls everyone together to draft a new Constitution, but we're not shown what actually happens at that convention), it would at least tie up all the political threads every movie in this franchise (including the actual TROS) left hanging.

[@QuintessentialWalrus]

My hot take is that "Somehow, Palpatine returned" isn't a bad line in a vacuum. It's funny that Poe doesn't know why Palpatine is alive and he doesn't care. The problem is that THE MOVIE also doesn't know why Palpatine is alive, so it makes the line seem like a cop-out in context.

[@isuckatusernames4297]

it also shows that they treat the extended universe as something you shouldn't miss, otherwise you don't get the story

[@desiladygamer2076]

My objection was "show don't tell". If you are bringing back Palpy, let us hear Palpys message and see scenes of different people's response to it. Not put that in the opening crawl.

[@vinniy32]

I think they could have had Palpatine tell Kylo "My master told me that the Sith Lords of old did conducted rituals to extend their life spans. One in particular transferred his essence into hosts".

[@zachrohler1047]

@@isuckatusernames4297 which Kathleen Kennedy made "noncannon" they literally deleted all the books and comics so they could bitch about not having books and comics lmao

[@LemonMoon]

I heard that they explained his return in Fortnite, which is probably the worst way to do that

[@sophieamandaleitontoomey9343]

Honestly if the film ended with Ben claiming his name as Skywalker, I think that would have been a very powerful moment.

[@thelocust619]

We should make Finn a jedi -Great idea! We'll make Rey the last jedi -Kylo would probably beat her in a fight. Of course! *writing* Rey...beats...him...every...time... easily...with...no...trouble. Got it. -We should maybe respect the characters that put this franchise on the map. Perfect! We'll have Rey take a big steaming shit on everyone before her to assert her dominance. -Ben should accept his heritage as a Skywalker. Ah yes, I know just what you mean. Let me handle it. *Written and directed by* *J.J. Abrams*

[@zachanikwano]

Also I heard in the canon expanded canon that Luke was more of a father to him than Han and Leia were parents. It would have been a beautiful bit of forgiveness/start of his redemption. Albeit a slight to his parents lol

[@sophieamandaleitontoomey9343]

@@zachanikwano And that's what we should have been shown. That to me would have been a great sequence of events.

[@t.s.adrian8785]

Wait. White cis male becomes the hero of the story? You honestly think that would get past Kathleen Kennedy? I want to live in your world.

[@ryanartward]

What really got me is how easily Chewbacca got arrested. He's had a good two centuries of hunting, guerrilla warfare, and smuggling. So how in the name of Darth Banes tatas did he get arrested without a huge amount of tranquilizers?

[@therightarmofthefreeworld4703]

“Somehow, Chewbacca was captured.” “How?” “A good question, for another time.”

[@mamaya311]

Among the many plot holes in this movie, the one that angers me the is most when Finn tells Rey he needs to tell her something and then it's never brought up again. Although it's a seemingly minor issue, I think it says a lot. THEY introduced it. THEY could have wrapped up with a throwaway line. THEY could have cut it out entirely. The sheer LAZINESS is such a spit in the face to fans. I'll be honest, I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but this trilogy made me upset for true fans. Fans of anything never deserve garbage. It's so disappointing.

[@atomicdancer]

*Finn* : "Rey! ...REY!!! ....REYYYYYY!!!!" *Rey* : "Wat?!" *Finn* : "Oh... ehh... Nothing, never mind."

[@ctchulk]

ayup

[@LSHSrandomness]

@@atomicdancer :((((

[@grudgeisdead]

He's just force sensitive

[@callmejason3520]

fr like wtf did he wanna tell her

[@squishmac]

I absolutely love the idea of Rey dying and Kylo having to atone. That's such a cool ending rather than just the typical villain being redeemed by saving the hero. I like a lot of ideas in TROS but I agree that they weren't executed very well - this could've made it so much better

[@DoremiFasolatido1979]

Right? It would've been so much better if Vader had failed to save Luke in time, and had to atone.

[@derek96720]

It would have subverted expectations in the best way possible, since it's the complete inverse of Anakin's arc. Kylo would be the one who falls to the dark side, yet has to live with that guilt and spend their life atoning, rather than perfect Rey just going off into the sunset as a skywalker.

[@froshtea]

And you know why it sounded cool. Now that we have indulged in the magic that is Book of Boba Fett and Mando S2. WE COULD'VE GOTTEN A BEN SOLO LEGENDS D+ SERIES UGHHHHHH. I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY, RIAN JOHNSON DID DAMN WELL WITH VILLIANS AND REY BUT FUCK JJ ABRAMS HIS STAR TREK NEW GEN WAS SHIT TFA WAS SHIT. HE IS A SHITTY GLORIFIED LENS FLARE DIRECTOR WITH BAD TASTE.

[@alexanderforbes1452]

Agreed, I'm tired of the trope of the villain having to die to make up for their sins. I'd rather see them live and have to stand by their decision to betray their previous world view.

[@channel45853]

@@alexanderforbes1452 I think there was a video I watched that talked about that, forgot the name though

[@Immafuggin182]

Man when you started talking about it being Ben accepting the Skywalker name I got chills. I’ve always hated that Rey said that she was a Skywalker, I loved that she was “no one”. The last being “Just Rey” would’ve seven way more satisfying. Having her die and Ben being forced to live on and accepting he’s a Skywalker is definitely the best ending.

[@DrLipkin]

The Zuko arc is definitely the superior ending for Ben.

[@SGCentral]

Having a Jedi Master who gave into the dark side and can tell you exactly what will happen is way more effective in preventing people from going down that path too Ben becoming a Jedi Master and rebuilding the order, maybe even seeing the ghost of Anakin for the first time, would be a unique way to end the movie

[@memorian8472]

I legit remember being in the theater and when that woman asked her what her name was, I whispered "Rey, just Rey." because I THOUGHT that's what she was going to say, and then she said Skywalker, and my face just fell. I didn't like the movie but I was still thinking, they'd at least get THAT right. But no.

[@ezeknowsenglish7972]

Rey dying and kylo reconecting with the name Skywalker at the end just makes so much sense

[@fullmetalheel]

7

[@hoennchamp374]

The “Rokay Raggy” and then followed immediately by Scooby-Doo sound effects had me dying. 😂

[@ashb7846]

Hearing "But no, he literally made him...in a cave," my brain immediately went, "With a box of scraps!" and you did not disappoint. Bravo sir.

[@EddyA1337]

That part got me too

[@reb-dom1ne]

TONY STARK BUILT THIS IN A CAVE…. WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!! Obadiah Stane is a badass.

[@CasuallyEndangered7772]

Time stamp?

[@prska]

@@CasuallyEndangered7772 9:20

[@A10-z9g]

That line “somehow Palpatine returned” is one of the worst lines in movie history, not just SW history

[@reek4062]

George Lucas would be proud

[@yuvalgabay1023]

@@Misery2331 it's a pretty low bar though

[@rollingtim2164]

@@Misery2331 atleast this line is just cringe and not rage inducingly frustrating

[@John-xr9ry]

@@Misery2331, the romantic lines in the prequels are at worst cringe inducing. This line is a gigantic middle finger to the whole franchise

[@DragonDude233]

At least “somehow Palpatine returned” didn’t make me cringe unlike some of the lines in the prequels also what else were they supposed to say they didn’t know how Palpatine came back so they just said “somehow.”

[@kevinbothwell8425]

I always thought that the reveal of rey being a palpatine would have been monumentally less stupid if it had be revealed that SHE killed her parents. The flash back where she's reaching out and calling out to them - imagine that that memory was always cut short and blocked out, and only now after killing chewie (committing to that death) does the rest of that memory come back. The memory of her reaching out and as a child, shooting force lightning out of her hands and accidentally killing her parents. That could have been very interesting. I still think her being a palpatine is the dumbest thing ever. That just would have made it infinitely less dumb.

[@MrTaxiRob]

dude that's HOT. See my comment about Ben killing her to prevent her from becoming Sith lord.

[@Reorganiser]

Well first off that weird guy that gave her food on Jakku was dragging her away, and if he'd seen her just blasting a ship, she wouldn't have lived like she did in the force awakens. Also the film wants to state that where you come from doesn't limit you to what you could become. And her blasting her parents away would sort of suggest that she's destined to become a dark side force user. But actually I think it would've made sense to make her the antagonist since Disney obviously wanted to prevent under all costs to make Kylo Ren the main antagonist of the trilogy. So why bother bringing someone into the game that was never even mentioned but rather work with what you got? Well the trilogy just sucked all along cos the first film wasn't even that great. It was the best of the 3 by a country mile, but it wasn't good either

[@kevinbothwell8425]

@@Reorganiser those are good points too! I guess with my idea there would also have to be other changes to account for the things you mentioned. And probably more things as well.

[@Reorganiser]

@@kevinbothwell8425 I think to make the trilogy actually work you'd have to change the supposed outcome of their fight in force awakens because Rey winning is stupid, and then rewrite the whole 8th and 9th film because they're shit, but the basic idea of introducing Rey as the new Anakin/Luke of the trilogy and then making her the main anatagonist by breaking with that rule of the naive young prospect that growths up on a sand planet to achieve great things is amazing in my opinion. Sure you'd probably have to make Kylo Ren/Ben Solo the protagonist and that is sort of boring because he is the ancester of the heroes of the past, but it's 100 million times more interesting than what they ultimately did which is take the idea of the originals and give them other names and new faces, but get them through the same plot on the same planets because it has worked once before, so why wouldn't it work this time right? RIGHT!!!???

[@TheQuota2001]

@@MrTaxiRob Meh, when random dudes in the comment section can write a better plot... Then you need to sit back and study whats really going on. They ruined star wars for a reason. They didnt want anything else to interfere with their other Disney projects, so they bought Star Wars, and they will run it into the ground on purpose. Study well what is occuring.

[@olofwelen6595]

26:57 "Just wait and see how Rey deals with .... Ap'lek?" Killed me, great stuff!

[@SaberRexZealot]

I actually really love your idea of having Rey die a hero while Kylo lives on to suffer in his mistakes for the rest of his life - that’s a fitting reversal of the OG trilogy’s ending. Reminds me of Devilman; bleak but poetic.

[@13Gisang]

Idk if it's a common theory but my jaw literally dropped when Marcus said that because it is SUCH a brilliant way to not only give Kylo a satisfying arc, but to give the entire saga a melancholy but cohesive ending. What a shame.

[@LOLquendoTV]

Yeah, but there's no way in hell Disney would have let them do something like that

[@SaberRexZealot]

@@LOLquendoTV grrrrrr, you’re right lol

[@ddtn9635]

9:20 "But no, he literally made him... in a cave. 'with a box of scraps!!!'" Literally made me burst out laughing

[@hypothalapotamus5293]

Well, it worked with Ironman.

[@blountman747]

Same lol

[@MasoMate]

lmfao

[@stungun0]

It’s so sad to see the arc of Darth Vader, dying to save his son from Palpatine and therefore culminating the prophecy and bringing balance to the force, all thrown away because somehow the emperor is back and now Rey is the chosen Jedi the prophecy spoke about? That throws away the most beautiful arc in cinema to the trash, and it hurts me so much.

[@sirstizz7912]

That's why you just ignore anything that happened in the sequels

[@jarvaewray453]

Yea that was dumb especially how anakin was explicitly stated to be the chosen one all throughout the prequels and he fulfilled his destiny just for it to be undone it’s like Disney undid everything anakin and Vader did

[@reaper4729]

If Snoke was the main villain it would make more sense but, Palpatine? Luke also became an old fat fuck through the trilogy.

[@gkay8889]

9 just ruined everything

[@philiplanz7123]

Best to think of the sequels as not canon for that reason

[@MohnJarstonWasThere1907]

I've seen it on reddit before, but with the whole palpatine thing I like to use this analogy: Imagine you are a new recruit in the army, any army. And then you get taken in for a surprise debriefing and your commanding officer in the middle of talking says, "Somehow Hitler returned." That is quite literally what this movie is like.

[@ShinSHOGO]

The only experience that I can always remember about experiencing this movie is the final scene. Rey sees that random woman who asks “Rey, who?” She replies, “I’m Rey Skywalker” And then someone from across the room in the theater just goes “Oh- FUCK YOU!” And nearly everyone in the theater busts a gut laughing so hard that you can’t hear anything from the movie anymore.

[@bigal8752]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@frostyfilmwatcher2148]

I've seen videos of this. Still glad I didn't go.

[@finlayames6216]

I spent half the movie laughing cause it was feeling like a shit fan fiction. Character dies at end of chapter to leave cliff hanger? Instantly brought back. Can’t think of a good reason to find the muguffun? Stumble (or in this case fall through sand) onto it. Bring back characters for no reason (palatine and to a much lesser degree Lando). Make character try to admit their feelings but never do it (I though Finn would say he loved Rey, not being force sensitive. And most of all, randomly redeeming your bad guy with no build up (he literally spends the first 2 movies falling to randomly 180 in this movie), fall in love with the girl and then sacrifice himself. It was one of the funniest films I’ve seen in years, but not for the rights reasons.

[@HazardMaster47]

I pretty much had the same reaction here as I had with watching The Fate of the Furious ending when Dom decided to name the baby Brian.

[@minixlemonade]

@@finlayames6216 that's an insult to fanfiction even

[@benjaf1058]

Marcus, you’re totally missing a key aspect of how terrible Palpatine’s return was. Not only was it never hinted at or established during any of the movies or even any tv show/comic/canonical piece of media, he was revealed during a fucking Fortnite event. Truly tragic, RIP Star Wars

[@thelegendaryhusquin9906]

Holy fucking shit 💀

[@max_sall7440]

To be fair tho. If Disney just did that as a massive shitpost knowing how shit the movie was... I'd respect it actually

[@ronaldomendoza7578]

@@max_sall7440 that would require Disney to somehow be in touch with its audience, far too much credit for them

[@pB-ri6su]

It was a desperate attempt to get teenagers to care about that star wars thing their grandpa keeps talking about and bringing these weird black rectangles over for

[@landon8657]

What do you mean that’s fucking amazing

[@ttowen]

I used to watch these retrospectives with my dad when he was still alive. I really wish I could show him this one in particular because Star Wars was his favorite thing ever, and Rise broke his heart. He’d have loved this!

[@ah7910]

Your pa sounds like a really cool dude. I lost mine too 4 years ago. Here’s to all the great dads that have passed on, may the force be with them 🙌🏻

[@ultraguy8771]

I also sadly lost mine about 5 years ago. At least he didn't live to see the absolute shitshows that were TLJ and Rise.

[@jasonbelcho8609]

"Somehow, your father returned"

[@-whyquestion]

Ratio + k-pop better 🧑🏼‍💻🧑🏼‍💻🧑🏼‍💻🤳🏼🤳🏼🤳🏼🤳🏼🤳🏼🤳🏼🤳🏼🤳🏼🤳🏼✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

[@EfodsMovies]

@@jasonbelcho8609 bruh

[@todd-2362]

The Klaud camera edits cracked me up. Great video.

[@SiroBenju]

Dude! When you talked about Rey having to take down all six Knights of Ren, I just envisioned a single long-take of her working up through the First Order Command Center or something, having to fight off each knight in turn as she advances, facing the first few on pretty even footing, but eventually wearing herself out, and having to resort more and more to cleverness, deception, and wits to barely squeak by on the last one. Hell, she could've even inadvertantly tapped into some dark side energy or techniques, out of pure desperation to survive (plays on her tendency towards the dark side mentioned in Last Jedi). By the time she reaches Kylo, neither we nor her have any idea how she's going to possibly survive the fight! But naw, long takes require effort, and skill, and passion, and J.J. Abrams had none of that to give.

[@leepicrandomaa]

This idea is too good and good is something that doesn't exist in ROTS

[@cass7448]

I immediately thought of the last fight sequence in No Time To Die, where Bond is making his way up a stairwell level by level and resorting to every trick in his arsenal to get past the bad guys who all know he's coming. And by the end of it, he's barely standing. Give me the Star Wars version of that, please.

[@dr.pokemon1463]

And we could see Kylo ordering them to do it or smth, to remind us of that interesting dynamic that she's stronger than him. (Normally villain>hero)

[@chr0m315]

Fr sounds much better itd be like the ending to Kill Bill 1

[@joshgsy2348]

Bro I kinda got chills reading that

[@treycampbell2026]

The Rise of Skywalker is the pure definition of "the more you think about it, the more it falls apart."

[@mr.quilava2062]

Yeah at this point, just dont overthink when rewatching a movie... Or else youll get more disappointed lol

[@Jonathanlepine]

For me, that's the entirety of Disney Star Wars.

[@aarongonzales66]

Your rewrite of Ben surviving and going to Tatooine with the title “Rise of Skywalker” popping up in a grand reveal was *chef’s kiss* perfection.

[@ethandoddadkins398]

You swing in with that last 'if I could only make one change' and holy fuck that whole concept just HIT

[@MrSilnev]

I always found it weird that Kylo ditches his cross guard saber in this movie. That Lightsaber is like the most important object in the entire trilogy. It was the first 'new' thing shown back in the original force awakens trailer and both Rey and Kylo were seen using it. Considering in the current canon you get a white lightsaber (typically associated with force users who are not jedi or sith) by purifying a red lightsaber, I thought for sure that if Kylo was going to have a redemption arc he would purify his saber to show that he does want to be redeemed. Then if you go down the route of killing off Kylo while doing the whole Reylo thing, you could have Rey bury the Luke and Leia's sabers but then keep Kylo's saber as a sort of symbol of her having a part of him with her and in turn using a weapon of evil for a new purpose, to bring a new light. Instead Kylo just uncermonisly chucks it into the ocean and gets a random blue saber to show that he's a jedi now....like why?

[@integra8472]

I feel like they tried to make it effective by having him throw away the symbol of Kylo Ren and take up his mother’s lightsaber, finally accepting his family instead of trying to kill the past. The only problem is that it’s not really that well explained

[@WillToNihilsm]

the fact you care about their laser sword design is exactly what is wrong with this series. all flash, no substance.

[@Wigglystilts]

@@integra8472 not that well explained. And tbh too little too late

[@theserpent8667]

​@@WillToNihilsm His weapon has special functions. The cross guard allows him to block swings more easily and attack while in a bind. The fact that you think Star Wars has no substance shows a complete lack of understanding of anything the 6 films are about.

[@kingawesome5219]

The first thing I thought in that scene that made me go “that was really stupid” was that he could still use that lightsaber but just chucked because “I’m good now”

[@scrumdiddlyumptious5250]

Well done. To add to the goofiness of the Chewbacca “death” scene, right after the explosion, Kylo and Rey are both just there with their crews and everyone just… goes their separate ways? I saw the movie once and I’ll never forget that.

[@MrTaxiRob]

My jaw was slack from all the dumbs in the final trilogy, glad I never paid to see them at the cinema.

[@xXNeoNashXx]

Wait chewy dies? Wtf haha

[@scrumdiddlyumptious5250]

@@xxx_rotfd_xiii_xii3619 There were also stormtroopers with another ship. The all powerful Kylo Rey, with near-equal powers and command over a huge military force hust stood there wistfully.

[@scrumdiddlyumptious5250]

@@xxx_rotfd_xiii_xii3619 Yeah I guess "lots of power" was what I meant by "all powerful". I get that he's a weirdo and I enjoyed that in prior two movies but him just standing there after the Chewbacca explosion was dumb. So was Lando Calrissian appearing just for a holiday special. And that kiss/death at the end of the movie was anything but "poetic".

[@david9840]

@@xXNeoNashXx (1) “Death” was in quotes. What do you think that means? (2) Did you not watch the video? He literally went over that scene. (3) Have you heard of Google? It’s pretty useful.

[@NerdoftheRings]

Dude, you absolutely nailed it with this one. So many things I completely agree with in this hour-long vid that I can't even list them all. I mean, I *could* but that would take a long time, so I'll just say... really well done!

[@harlepas]

Yeah if that’s the case you r smoking too much of something . Lol

[@cow_king4223]

I would never expect to see you here. I am very pleased to find out that you are a Cosmonaut fan too. By the way, I want to say thank you for helping me understand the world of LOTR more and helping me develop a passion for learning more about it.

[@johntheanimator4317]

ok

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who believes in him and follows his commandants! Have a blessed day, everyone!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

God heals depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING, God literally heals my physical pain when I ask Him! Trust in God to heal ALL! He is your creator! Lean not on man, you'll never be healed. Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name, for the world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully!!.

[@allegoryofdissonance]

"Ghouls."😁😁😁 I love that you added that ASIP bit.

[@RenUchiha06]

I actually like the idea of Ben living and atoning for his sins. He can finally rewrite the errors of the Jedi and Sith and just teach about the force as a whole. The Skywalker name can live on and still continue it's grand legacy.

[@Arander92]

That’s not how the force works

[@sand_sand7304]

@@Arander92 look up Grey knights.

[@skiks1853]

@@Arander92 That might be true from a certain point of view. Even Mace Windu used dark side skills.

[@justinportillo3996]

@@sand_sand7304 I think this also happened in kotor with Juhanu I think that was her name fell into the dark side and depending on your choices can bring her back to the light side and tries to forgive herself for attacking her master. Might not be the same thing but it’s somewhat similar

[@zachanikwano]

I mean you're always going to have sith tho. Selfish evil people with great force potential. Hence the need for the jedi, or some non-force sensitive combat warriors (soldiers, bounty hunters, etc) to kill sith when they arise.

[@dntthe88]

I wanted Finn and Poe to become like some unstoppable wingman duo. Finn being force sensitive is a good excuse to make him a natural pilot

[@benchidley9508]

This man should’ve directed the trilogy

[@TroubleToby3040]

This is a genuinely good idea. Cut back and forth between Rey doing important ground stuff, and Poe and Finn doing important flying/fighting stuff. It's better than what they did which was have ALL of them going around together doing stuff that one person could have done with R2 and 3PO. It felt like Scooby Doo where they're all just standing shoulder-to-shoulder-to-shoulder-to-shoulder doing the work of one person.

[@ianmckee4726]

I really liked Finn as the gunner to Poes pilot. That opener on the asteriod with finns gunnery saving them as much as Poes hot shot flying was a neat moment.

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who believes in him and follows his commandants! Have a blessed day, everyone!!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

God heals depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING, God literally heals my physical pain when I ask Him! Trust in God to heal ALL! He is your creator! Lean not on man, you'll never be healed. Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name, for the world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully!!!

[@karenwang313]

"Punished Rose" would have been a hilarious middle finger to the fans that bullied her actress off the internet. And don't tell me it makes no sense, if Palpatine came back for no reason, Rose can become an ass kicking super spy .

[@tlv8555]

No one bullied her off the internet. She's just a brat with rice paper thin skin. The internet didn't make Kelly Tran cry, Kelly Tran made Kelly Tran cry.

[@RealGeralt36]

Another reason fans absolutely despised her character is she literally stopped Finn from sacrificing himself to destroy cannon in TLJ which brought the destruction of the fort, then promptly kisses him for no reason

[@WoofgangPrime]

@@RealGeralt36 Honestly, this is the only reason I disliked the Rose character. I think Rian Johnson thought he was being clever. Yeah, he was wrong.

[@CerealExperimentsMizuki]

Orange haired waifu with plump and voluptuous boosum.

[@chairmanm3ow]

I totally forgot about the Knights of Ren but giving him an entourage of space goth hitmen is an idea with a ton of potential.

[@MothmanAlpha]

I can't believe they never had a plot for Finn in this movie, when they literally had a line about recruiting more child soldiers. How in the world do you not connect the two? Can't you just have that as his plot, deprogramming other storm troopers? That's what I've been saying they could have him do with him trying to get to the comms relay in the finale! Trying to convince other storm troopers to defect, as opposed to having a random cavalry charge would have made waaaaay more sense.

[@LipziG3R]

Nah, that makes all too much sense. It's way better if he kills his fellow child slave soldiers and he's also really, really happy about doing it. He's a good guy! Or something, I don't know ...

[@LordyT34]

As a "Hardcore Star Wars fan" I think I can sum up my problem with the sequels like this It felt like they didn't take the universe seriously. I know Star Wars is silly and I'm not asking for 40k grimdark or something, but between the lack of planning, the "we have no source material!" while decanonizing a massive extended universe, and just the pure chaos of the story, it feels like, at least the corporate side, just treated it like "Oh yeah that movie from the 70s with the toys" instead of this massive, interesting, wonderful, exciting and beautiful universe with infinite potential. I didn't need Darth Revan showing up or insanely deep lore moments, but just treating this world with respect would have gone a long way. I hope that makes sense.

[@sun332s7]

I still don’t get the removal of the EU. Literally decades of stories pissed in the wind.

[@GeneralTaco155555a]

@@sun332s7 a shitton of it contradicts other shit, and you can't write anything new when there are already 20 comics, and 37 books that already laid everything out. They either make something new and contradict EU, or adapt part of the EU and contradict others. Either way, the EU can't coexist as canon.

[@GeneralTaco155555a]

@@sun332s7 even before Disney bought Star Wars there was a ton of contradictions between canon and what we see on screen, as well as a ton of shit that's REALLY dumb. (Luuke/Luuuke for example) At some point someone had to put the foot down and decide what is/is not canon.

[@renanleandro5914]

Yeah man. I hate this mindset of "it's just a dumb movie with space wizards and laser swords", because it is a dumb movie with space wizards and laser swords, but it's not because of it that it should be treated like they treated this trilogy.

[@ElementZephyr]

The problem is that the people with the money and the power have really shallow, sometimes one-dimensional personalities. There's no depth to them. The furthest extent of say K. Kennedy might be "Star Wars has laser swords and that's really cool!!!", and that's it. This is on top of not wanting to be told how to do things (eg the fans telling people what they like about XYZ), and not wanting to get involved in a job unless it includes political/racial pandering beyond "Get it done" "Yes Ma'am/Yes Sir!" that we get from Corporate Culture. These are some really boring people in charge of these franchises.

[@georgew1014]

A perfect example which shows how incoherent the sequel trilogy is that Finn gets a completely new “love interest” each film

[@BabysitterSky]

And none of them are Poe!

[@BabysitterSky]

@IntrepidTit that's true but they had the chemistry for an amazing couple.

[@degiguess]

@IntrepidTit Yes but they can also be close friends and be involved

[@yorukaadams940]

i swear they only put in Rose as a love interest to stop the Stormpilot allegations

[@Lord_Of_Night]

@IntrepidTit Yeah, but that's most movies with two male characters. Just buddy comedy-style banter is pretty cliché.

[@dresdenwarlock7978]

I'll die on the hill of Rey should have been Luke's clone. Cloned from his hand to be a spy against the Rebellion, but before her programming could begin, The Empire crumbled, and her bacta/clone growing tank are lost, and she gradually grows on her own, maybe a couple of scavengers find her and take her to Jakku, sell her to Unkar Plutt. This would explain why she's so naturally gifted, how she knows how to intuitively perform a jedi mind trick, why Luke's lightsaber called to her, why her Force-back starts in the corridor on Cloud City, why there's a zoom in on Luke's robotic hand in the force back, why she feels compelled to find Luke. It fixes A LOT of things. But I thought she was a clone after The Force Awakens. Alas.. she's a f'kin Palpatine.. because reasons. Ugh.

[@JMarchel]

Legit love this idea

[@jvillain9946]

Her just refurbishing the old lightsaber is actually more metaphorical than her building her own bc that's basically what the movies are doing. They're just implanting her in place of another character without having to work it. Same thing the mcu is doing with all their phase 4 movies.

[@Petirep]

A 5/10 still seems outrageously high for me, but I appreciate the detailed analysis. Your rewrites were all excellent

[@jasoncporter]

I agree, and I was truly shocked after all that he gave it a 5. It’s honestly a 3/10 for me with TLJ being a 7/10 and TFA being a 8/10 or something like that. TROS literally had nothing going for it except spectacle. Story and character have to come first, and this movie failed both.

[@reek4062]

​@@jasoncporter TROS made the impossible possible. I didn't enjoy Palpatine in it. In the prequels he's at least entertaining.

[@BirdsElopeWithTheSun09]

@raymond907 Plot is a 1 or a 2, characters are a 2. Most the things that have nothing to do with the writing are of high quality. Overall, it's a 2/10.

[@_Donovan]

@@jasoncporter you’d give the first 2 scores that high? I’d say TFA was a 6/10, TLJ was a 4/10 and TROS was 4/10. TROS gets a +1 for the palpatine bass boosted lightning. I was in awe in theatre’s so it’s a win. Curious to know what you liked In those first 2. Haven’t seen em in a while so it seems like a rewatch might be in order since my scores are so low

[@TheMainelson]

@@_Donovan "palpatine bass boosted lightning" This is the exact phrase I always use to describe it lol. Also the single reason I went to see it again the next day. The movie was really painful to sit through for a second time, although I quite enjoyed it the first time in a weird no-hopes-at-all-after-TLJ-way

[@n.l.g.6401]

I'm so glad Marcus has finally discovered the healing power of fanfic. Good on ya, buddy.

[@sevsimply]

10:10 Claude cam ☺️ i know nothing about star wars. This videos is hilarious so far. i love it

[@John-ns5se]

The funniest part about the dagger is that it just leads to some random door in Palpatine’s throne room. It be like one of the first places you’d look if you were interested in tracking Palpatine. Making the dagger almost unnecessary.

[@SknowingWolf]

What made it 100x weirder to me is that I'm unclear how old the dagger even is or why it was even created. Like I was under the impression that it was some ancient relic.... Buuuut it simply points to the wreckage of the death star which is... Only 20+ years old? And even if it was more recently crafted.... Why? It points to the maguffin in the middle of the throne room. Who was this even for? So much in this movie was pure nonsense, it's like they just didn't know what they wanted to do so they turned it into a long pointless maguffin chase, which, mind you, somehow apparently took place over just a few days or something? Just... What the hell.

[@danielz-v4083]

The absolute funniest shit about the dagger is the “this has been used to do terrible things” line. While she is LITERALLY holding the saber that was used to unspawn a large group of younglings.

[@SknowingWolf]

@@danielz-v4083 God I forgot about that line lmao. That just makes it even worse xD

[@thereturnofdarthcaedus]

@@danielz-v4083 true true very very true indeed thats not even her own lightsaber thats anakins it does not belong to her she never created her own till the end of the film

[@thereturnofdarthcaedus]

@@SknowingWolf basically the entire sequel trilogy erases the ot and pt if you give it sometime and think about it plus they never once mention anakins name nor the clone wars it only has more callbacks to the ot never ever to the pt like seriously how can you make a star wars movie never mention the clone wars or anakins name yet have many more callbacks to the ot and never one mention to the pt how can you screw that up till this very o hate to say this the phantom of the opera movie that came out in 2004 is far better and far greater than the entire sequel trilogy heck even the the number 27 is a far better film than the entire sequel trilogy

[@wookiecruz]

Feel so bad for poor Ian. His performance is so good in every movie. Soiled everything he does in the previous movies

[@valeriefinnigan41]

I feel bad for the entire cast. Adam had to fight for a semi-decent character arc. Daisy did the best she could do with abysmal direction, JJ filming reaction shots when he didn’t even know what Rey was reacting to, hence her looking relatively unaffected by the retcon to her origin story, etc.,. John’s character was made a laughingstock with an incomplete character arc. Oscar was forced to play a racial stereotype. And Carrie would’ve hated how the most important scene in the trilogy and Leia’s arc didn’t happen, and it wouldn’t have been hard to have Billie Lourd play her, then shoot from behind or CGI Carrie’s face on her like they did earlier. She definitely would’ve hated how the family reconciliation the previous movies set up became a child replacement narrative, because that made Leia an unconscionably bad mother.

[@JackyMan22]

Disney ruined it. I will not forget this. >:(

[@TheBmb2jn]

Agreed. What I wish they did was was, not resurrect Palpatine, but instead write it so that he has some kind of contingency plan, and either as a Force Ghost or through Holograms, he instructs Kylo Ren how to execute this plan.

[@matthewcs490]

@@valeriefinnigan41 I feel especially bad for John, Oscar, Kelly Marie Tran, and all the OGs.

[@davidtaylor142]

Honestly everyone in these movies is real good

[@NachozMan]

"He wanted to see the past die, so he had to atone by building a new future" that shit gave me chills, that shit's philosophical.

[@xxmarjaxx]

:( This shit just makes me sad that we didn't get it. I still hope they bring him back.

[@dachking6657]

Considering that Klaude automatically boosts every movie that he’s in’s score by 5 points, that is saying a lot about this movie’s quality.

[@remrants]

We desperately need a Klaud spinoff film

[@ethandugan3864]

56:45 Not to mention one of the people who owned one of those lightsabers was Anakin who whether you dislike the prequels or not you have to admit having his lightsaber buried on the planet he grew up on as a slave and the same planet his mother had died on is kind of disrespectful in a storytelling way.

[@streamurmind]

this movie is so fucked up that I enjoy reading comments about the gripes people have with this movie and I always find new things that don't make any sense or are just not really thought out of. That is because there are so many problems that one can't catch up on all of them. Btw Luke's uncle and aunt were murdered on that planet and that is also the whole point of why he decides to leave with Obi Wan. These movies were made by the casuals for the casuals...

[@aag2139]

just imagining ghost anakin screaming at the universe for that is beautoful

[@DookieStain007]

Buried it in sand too 😭

[@kwc0435]

​@@DookieStain007I don't like sand

[@spaceonisorceress4406]

DANG IT your "Kylo killing Rey" idea could have made the post-sequels EU super fucking cool Seeing Ben rebuild the Jedi Order, an exploration of his regrets, his lifelong quest for atonement... He could have ended up as a Legends version of older Luke, but with the baggage of Darth Vader. That's some super cool shit!

[@Paladin1034]

It could honestly lead to the rise of the Grey jedi. Since pre-war, the Jedi Order was dogmatically against the use of the dark side. Kylo/Ben, having used both, would be able to develop and maybe teach a new way of force practice that truly did "embrace a larger view of the force". True balance, but within ones own self. Idk sounds pretty damn cool to me. Plus, he's a Skywalker. It only makes sense.

[@thatoneguy5343]

@@Paladin1034 Kylo and his students will essentially be like Mace Windu where they mostly use the light but sometimes use the dark sparingly.

[@evanlight2550]

Maybe in a different timeline. One where the ideas of the people come together to forge a new order. One free from Disney. (Btw, I like Disney Star Wars just disappointed with the ending)

[@danieltukua4527]

@@Paladin1034so you’re saying Kylo would just be a canon version of Revan? Sounds awesome

[@Paladin1034]

@@danieltukua4527 basically. By eschewing the Jedi fear of the dark side (having used both), he could develop and then teach a new hollistic way of approaching the force.

[@_McCullochDavid]

The simple change of replacing Rey in the end moments with Ben, and having her stay dead, would honestly have fixed so much and, despite the films flaws, would have given us a satisfying conclusion and people would have looked on this film more favourably

[@SpFlash1523]

Plus, it would've conveyed a simple message, that is cliche, but very effective in this case. "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

[@dasboom7133]

You cant fix this movie until you fix the last Jedi. That crap screeeewed over this movie and should be blamed equally. Like Disney had no plans…

[@blueguygaming1330]

@@dasboom7133 and TFA fucked up everything before it, whatever potential this trilogy had was dead on arrival

[@fromthefire4176]

Blueguygaming as bad as TFA was, the trilogy still didn’t have to go the way it did, Johnson pretty much sealed its fate. He guaranteed the third movie would be a complete wreck.

[@blessanabey8386]

Yah that would make a lot of sense cuz he is part Skywalker, but sadly even with that it doesn't fix the whole movie or the mistakes of the trilogy.

[@Eustaphios21]

How have I not seen your channel before? You're cut editing is absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the great content!

[@cydude5856]

This review is making me realize just how compelling a trilogy would be if Kylo Ren was the villain. In trying to fulfill his grandfather's legacy he turns into a dark reflection of Vader. Instead of controlled aggression Kylo is unhindered rage. Kylo also betrays his master, but unlike Vader it is purely for selfish reasons. My favorite scene in TLJ is when Kylo declares himself as Supreme Leader. Kylo has only ever dragged people across the floor to choke them out with his hand, but his force choking of Hux, while a small moment, is a great parallel to Vader and the power of the dark side. If Palpatine isn't alive, Kylo doesn't pose a threat because he's an ultimately powerful sith lord that has manipulated the lives of the entire Skywalker family. Kylo is a threat because he's a member of the Skywalker family turned to the dark side and he's an ultimately powerful sith lord with a chip on his shoulder and the means to obtain the galaxy.

[@bjdetweiler8052]

Yes!! Showing us a parallels journey of Kylo and Vader would be so good. Since we saw Vader as Anakin and then Vader as an adult knowing his true power. They could’ve used Kylo to portray the struggles of honing the Sith powers in the middle stages. Learning to control his rage, learning to let go of attachment and truly be ruled by the dark side.

[@KiiDMaGiiK]

ooo that would be cool too. I mean I do like that he was always battling with the darkside in him, but they did a horrible job of showing it to the viewers. When he and rey kissed i just started scratching my head like "huhhh when was this hinted at??." They mustve cut hella scenes or something cause the story made no sense. Like I could see that "oh he might turn out to be a good guy" but they did not do the work to make us actually believe it and want it to happen.

[@TheASMRRyan]

no joke almost started crying at your final ending idea. just thinking of how incredible it would have been to see all that come to life on screen is so painful knowing the reality we got. thanks for the vid! really well done

[@TheStrategyGamerPro]

You could literally have the exact same scene and it would have way more meaning. For example: "Who are you?" Ben's gaze lingers on his Uncle and Mother, their pale image shimmering against the desert sand. He frowns as his hand jerks upward in greeting before snapping it down and shaking his head. Can he be what they want him to be? Is any part of that Ben left? Leia, his mother, smiled. Such a warm thing, bringing back memories of a life he'd once had. A life he'd destroyed. But perhaps... a life he'd have again, not the same, never the same, not after what he'd done, but similar. They were both smiling now, it was...moving... and now he knew what he had to do. Who he had to be. For them. For her. For everyone he'd hurt, for all the lives he'd torn apart on his path of darkness. Their images faded, his mother gave one last wave, her eyes shinning with pride? He shrugged, probably just heat shimmering... Even as they vanished it didn't seem final. There was no closure, no... he'd see them again, he could feel it. The old woman cleared her throat, startling him. "Well?" The old woman said. Her beady eyes narrowed as she waited patiently for an answer. Before, he hadn't been sure, but now he knew. The words came easily to him and meant so much to so many people. They were both an apology and a promise. It was time to be who he was meant to be. Ben took a deep breath and for the first time in years, grinned. "My name is Ben, Ben Skywalker." *Queue massive John Williams swell of binary sunset lmao

[@chyanfrancisco4818]

@@TheStrategyGamerPro Wouldn't Ben Solo make more sense tho? But I agree with the idea of course

[@TheStrategyGamerPro]

@@chyanfrancisco4818 Yeah I get that, I think you could go either way tbh. I was trying to tie it in to the idea of him rebuilding the jedi order, and finally accepting his skywalker heritage. Of course Solo would work too and is more about Ben accepting his family and his father. Like I said either works, just depends what you want for the character I think.

[@ShadeKill]

@@TheStrategyGamerPro I think Ben Skywalker works with the title

[@TheStrategyGamerPro]

@@ShadeKill Oh yeah, I didn't think of that but yes!

[@kaimemes]

I really, really love the ending you gave to Ben Skywalker. It makes perfect narrative sense and it's even so obvious I really wonder why it wasn't in the original movie plan.

[@randomguy6679]

Because he’s a man. And we can’t have a man live on to be the hero

[@erikgain1294]

@@randomguy6679 never

[@ShyKirb]

@@randomguy6679 its more to do with the fact he's the leader of a nazi group

[@KyleGallagher]

It is the exact thing that Star Wars is missing. Anakin had to die to be redeemed, in order for Ben to succeed where he failed, he would have to live. What do addicts do in recovery? They make amends. And they have to live every day with the risk of falling to the dark side again right in front of them. As of now the message Star Wars sends is that only through death can you be redeemed. People need to believe that it's never too late to turn around. That's the heroe's journey. That's Star Wars.

[@anycullen21]

Could you imagine the success that would have? Anakins grandson fixing what his grandfather and mother fucked up. Look at how good the Loki series was, and its Loki, who did all this out of jealousy cuz Odin loved Thor more. Ben was mindraped and suffocated from birth and his mother knew and ignored. Her job was more important. Disney Leia sacrificed her son once to build another corrupt senate like the one her own mother was so tired of dealing with, and again later for yet another corrupt government to be born led by idiotic morons like Poe and friends. Even Vader couldnt kill his son, yet I count 3 times Leia put his life on the line to win the war. Yikes. This is a hero??? Not to me shes not. I would rather have him live the life of a scoundrel like his dad. A Skywalker knowingly training a Palpatine to kill another Skywalker cuz he refuses to do what mommy tells him to do, thats just sick. I rooted for these ppl growing up. Luke was hailed a hero for saving them on Crait and Leia used her sons humiliation to boost up the resistance. The man went out there to mock the same boy he betrayed, Leia and Rey covered it up . And they never once came out publicly with their sins, they just said "I was wrong, oops sorry" or "Its was Snoke, he took our son". No you uptight spoiled princess, no. Your son was raised by droids and Snoke, whos fault was that, Snokes? I doubt Padme would be proud of her daughter. If anyone in SW deserves a redemption movie or short series its BEN SOLO, one last big FU to both the Jedi and Sith who ruined his life. And its not like Adam Driver cant handle it. Have a family of his own, 1 Skywalker generation raised right and in peace, is that too much to ask? But nooooooooooo, theyre giving Reva of all ppl her own show. Cuz shes soooo cool, and it was her who taught Vader how to track his enemies in ep 4. This is madness. Madness and stupidity. Sorry for the long rant, but man how I hate the sequels

[@auraguardianred4771]

6:10 wait, is the Obi-Wan “Only a Sith deals in absolutes” line infamous? I thought that scene was one of the only non-original trilogy things that everyone agrees is great. That scene - and indeed that line - is raw as hell imho

[@h.c.49]

Being an absolute itself makes it fall a little flat.

[@chasingautumns]

The statement itself is an absolute, so the person saying it ALSO deals in absolutes. It's a dumb line.

[@Zarastro54]

It’s crazy how badly the sequels treated all the “romances.” At least with the terrible romance in the prequels, they _tried_ to set up a relationship, and the bad writing was at least memeable. But in these movies? The romantic developments amount to two, out of nowhere kisses of questionable consent that we are supposed to just accept as demonstrations of love. Like what the hell was that?

[@thegoat4238]

I wouldn’t even try to understand it,with all the flaws the prequels had at they a linear story that you could understand,the sequels are so all over the place that’s it just not going to make sense

[@Ryuk45]

Kylo and Rey ooze sexual chemistry from their very first scene together. Why do you think Reylos are a thing? The difference between the prequels and the sequels' romance is that the prequels have two people with zero chemistry who *tell* the audience they desire each other, while in the sequels Rey and Kylo are incredibly horny for each other even if they don't necessarily know how to express those feelings

[@RMMS13]

A buddy of mine actually yelled what the **** at the kiss scene when he saw it in theaters. Started a chain reaction of laughter and wtfs from damn near the entire audience

[@KoolKeithProductions]

Wait..."terrible" romance in the prequels? As compared to what, the romance in the OT? Oh yeah, there WAS no romance in the OT. Han and Leia literally went from hating each other in ep 4 to acting like jaded lovers by the start of ep 5. First time l watched it like was like "did l miss something here? Wasnt that chick smooching LUKE at the end of the last movie?" 😳

[@JurzGarz]

I felt like they were clearly setting up Rey and Finn as a couple in the first movie, but that was just completely abandoned for whatever reason.

[@nerd_1356]

When Cosmonaut finally returns: "A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one"

[@MrSoopSA]

Somehow Cosmonaut returned.

[@nerd_1356]

@@MrSoopSA lmfao

[@Plasmacat1]

Your ending is actually pretty fucking cool. Congrats on the audio editing too it had me rolling. It's also super funny all the outrage goblin KZbinrs that claim this movie and trilogy is "woke" when all the minority characters, actors and even Rey are treated like complete shit irl and story wise.

[@deft4184]

Wouldn't that make it woke tho? Treating your minority characters like dogshit and then acting like you've done a good job solely by adding them?

[@claytonweyl4135]

@@deft4184 Big fax. I think fewer people would feel so strongly about it if the characters were... better.

[@pixiel1xie]

@@deft4184 nah, people bitching about wokeness are just mad that there was a female protag and a black male protag at all lol

[@SushiReversed]

@@claytonweyl4135 correct. It looks like tokenism when characters Like Rose Tico are added in for seemingly no reason, written horribly, and then swiftly abandoned in the sequel.

[@yanipheonu]

@@deft4184 Woke has been misused so often it doesn't mean anything anymore. It's a useless word, because there's no real way to tell what someone even means when they say it.

[@nateds7326]

I didn't like that they made Finn force sensitive. I liked that he was a badass without needing the force.

[@thatoneguy5343]

I can respect that, it was really cool seeing a regular non force dude wield a lightsaber. Sure, he wasn’t very effective with it as he had no training to use it, but he put up a decent fight against Kylo.

[@madeleinehallatt3962]

22:47 I thought the storm trooper said “goals”, which made me think the knights of ren were like a really high rank of stormtrooper that if you were actually decent at killing the enemy you could achieve

[@teddy-vg8xl]

pleaseee im trying not to laugh at my desk the image of a stormtrooper turning to his bestie and saying "goals!" is too much for me lmfaoo

[@darthnick427]

I thought he said that too tbh.

[@Goblin_Hands]

I thought he said "gaush!" Like Scooby Doo saying gosh.

[@expendableindigo9639]

Honestly that woulda been more accurate to how they feel in this film.

[@channel45853]

that would have been funny and humanized stormtroopers a bit

[@TM-oy9qo]

The amount of bait and switches in a row literally gave me whiplash. My friend and I could not stop laughing through the entire film. The point where it really broke me was the bit where Kylo comes back from the dead from getting force healed, and then dramatically stares off into the waves with a big ass hole in his shirt

[@Feesh322]

The bit about Rey almost having a saber staff made my heart sink into my stomach. I want to cry. It is bewildering how many incomprehensibly bad decisions went into the making of this film. Not even the worst parts of the PT made me feel this way.

[@jackgeorge9478]

What hurt me is that the saber-staff and orange blade is reserved for TEMPLE GUARDS, otherwise known as sith hunters

[@DerangedManiac12]

I might just be weird, but I really hate the "lighstaber color = job class" thing. I like the idea of a crystal reflecting its user's personality, but leaving the meaning fluid and up for interpretation in the same way people are, rather than just being Hogwart's Houses.

[@direkitsune]

@@DerangedManiac12 it wasn't specifically just that, but the color and what the gem its made from adds/changes about the blade lent themselves to specific things, which generally fell under certain "classes/jobs" the blue ones had more power and "weight" to them, making it more ideal for the guardians who were the martial arm of the Jedi for example. Granted, iirc this is all no longer canon, but that was what it used to mean. Unless I'm completely miss remembering XD

[@Moakmeister]

Wait, THAT almost made you cry? What???

[@Chris-ks4sw]

Idk man, anytime I see general grievous getting shafted as he does in the prequels, I want to cry.

[@cassindra438]

those knights of ren descriptions from the 'pedia are hilarious

[@cykurosaki1337]

“Somehow Palpatine returned” has to be one of the most iconic and thought provoking lines in cinema (in a bad way).

[@codered1132]

“s o m e h o w”

[@MkZuO12345]

It's one of the lines in cinema history

[@TankHunter678]

Don't forget Rey's "Its a bad place" when asked about the Death Star.

[@bacon7149]

@@codered1132 “ i d o n t l i k e s a n d” Is way way way worse

[@fall190]

@@bacon7149 no its not. its a bad line because it just comes out of nowhere and it doesn't really mean anything. Its like someone making small talk about the weather. its boring. "Somehow palpatine returned" is terrible because its the script writer telling the audience that he could not think of a reasonable explanation as to how Palpatine survived not only being thrown into the Death Star core but also survived the Death Star exploding into dust. so he just tells us to not think about it.

[@sevensicilies]

This movie will forever be my all time greatest theater experience. With my theater-going boys at a late showing populated by other people just dying laughing and it was just a magical time of hilarity. We were making jokes and predicting lines and I will never forget that. Also I called the last line of the movie right before it happened and I will never top that moment for as long as I live.

[@kylecunningham9793]

I was actually glad it set expectations to "nonsense" immediately. Somehow plpatine came back...

[@MrTkillian]

It would've been more fun with that group. I was just awkwardly laughing out loud at serious moments throughout the whole movie with my family and the rest of the theater not understanding why :(.

[@nathanm.6147]

I wish I had your theater. The audience in mine clapped unironically when the credits started rolling. I specifically remember hearing a guy behind me tell his group "damn, that was so good!". I shit you not, it had a physical effect on me.

[@alexvjuz882]

@@nathanm.6147 People have opinions. Some may like it and some may not. That's alright, art is ultimately subjective.

[@nathanm.6147]

@@alexvjuz882 No hostility towards you, but I'm so tired of this argument. I know that there are always going to be people that like anything, but this movie was objectively bad at what it aimed to do. People can have their subjective opinions about art, but I do believe that there is some objectivity in the form of any type of artistic medium. RoS failed as both a film and a star wars film. The proof is in the hour long breakdown above us.

[@magicLP76]

I find it especially hilarious that they made a point in The Force Awakens to have Han, a non Force user, tell Finn that they can’t just use the Force to figure shit out as they go. But in this movie that’s exactly how the Force works. It is so, so stupid.

[@stevejames7930]

That Sunny reference was perfectly placed

[@lordmashie]

I don't know why but the line, "and then Kylo Ren tries to run over Rey with his car" is so hilarious

[@Paraves426]

And then he dies in a car crash

[@Megarobotsquadron]

Here's how to fix rose: Make her a nurse. In the Last Jedi, the attack on their ship heavily damages the sick bay, cutting it off from the rest of the ship. Rose is the surviving nurse and she spends the movie with Finn, who's still injured from the fight with Kylo. So you can completely scrap that casino subplot and all of the action sequences with her and Finn. Just use her for the character moments between the two of them. It's the quiet parts of the movie.

[@robinmitchells]

Ooh this is good. Plus i can see Kelly Marie Tran being great at a nurse role, it would have been so sweet :)

[@Megarobotsquadron]

@@robinmitchells totally. Not everyone needs to be an action character. Some of them can just be a great character.

[@heintz256]

Does that include cutting out the random kiss between them?

[@yemmohater2796]

@@heintz256 giving them.more down time would allow them to build up a romance more naturally. Though im still a Poe-Finn hoper

[@heintz256]

@@yemmohater2796 Fair enough, though i prefer a Finn and Rey pairing because of the similar character backgrounds, i just don't see how well gay characters would be received, seeing as they had a lesbian pair shoved into the background, Disney just seems scared of showing same sex couples.

[@seanmcneil349]

Make more hour long videos with rewrites. You don’t seem to believe you’re a gifted narrative writer, but your clear ability to see things through a common sense lens gives you a surprising edge. Also, you’re the easiest person to listen to monologue for an hour straight on KZbin. Good shit dude

[@arisel0v360]

Definitely better than what we actually got. 😤

[@FrederickGautier]

Well said 🙏🏽

[@scottproco8115]

The full house theme got me 😂 😭 Klaaud. You’re funny af bro