The walk from "no" to "yes" | William Ury

[@jonathanaguilar1342]

William was able to use stories to keep the audience involved and understanding. He used real-world scenarios to make his point. When said the secret to peace is us, it helped me realize that we can do more than we think if we stand together as a community and share common goals.

[@serenpartnership1]

The guru of negotiation. Worth listening to.

[@kimmers17]

"From the Balcony" a great reference point. For those that have made negative comments about the story of Abraham & using a religious person as a focal point, missed the main point...The common denominator. He does say treat negotiation with hospitality, or you could say, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." Making a point to find a common interest among the parties. What does that region value? Religion, first and foremost. Muslims, Jews & Christians all respect Abraham. Which brings a common perspective to the table & sets the groundwork for positive movement.

[@MsOwuor]

I have been with kurdish people, most of them practice this,,,they welcome people in the most amazing ways, such a friendly place,,,,good people...

[@mentorman6285]

The last time we did that in Afrika - Europeans colonized us , to this very day !!!

[@lucaslfnl]

The world need this talk today more than ever!

[@fernandosalado8259]

I really enjoyed his way of sharing stories and some of his personal experiences dealing with conflict and trying to find the secret to peace. A story I enjoyed was about the Sun Bushmen, the hunters and gathers on how they would deal with their own conflict by sitting down and talking to one another. Additionally, how there is a third side to when there is a dispute between to other sides. One thing I learned is that the secret to peace is us, and that it is important that we stop fighting for a moment start talking because we may lose perspective.

[@MOON-zo3ik]

“When angry you will make the best speech you will ever regret” facctts

[@SpiritofSix]

It isn't difficult to understand his points or to recognize his sincerity--this man truly wants to get his ideas across, for the benefit of everyone. I read in some of the comments that he should not have used religious examples--I agree, but it seems religion is the last piece of overweight armor that man needs to overcome. For all its benefits in forcing people to be moral, the power for us to become master of ourselves yields far greater benefits. I agree with this man that conflict can be resolved--mostly through understanding, empathy, and tolerance. I talk about philosophical and societal topics that help us grow as people. I also made a video on religion and morality: how it is high time for us to overcome our own fear of understanding. All I want is for us to accept the truths of our humanity and of our reality for all that it is--the good and the bad. I want for us to become the truest humans possible; fully embracing our responsibilities. That is all, no more no less. Good day to everyone! :)

[@waterkingdavid]

***** Well said.

[@АллаСаркисян-й1ъ]

WWW.mmmenglisf.com/signup

[@carlosvazquez510]

Dude, such a great comment.

[@MukeshSharma30071995]

I loved the way he started with a story which was mind boggling...Great one!!

[@thomasheaney4235]

I quite appreciate William Ury's focus on peaceful conflict resolution & his suggestion that we have the power to make peace happen. US politics have been focused on making war with the other side to the point where war-making is a growth industry. We can all opt out of that & opt into helping us all based on our interests.

[@girllex2676]

Always enjoy watching TED talks, really liked when William said " The secret to peace is US , its us who act as a surrounding community around any conflict ,who play a constructive role" ,

[@loxdixon]

TED has changed my life, seriously there's something here or in the lifehack series for absolutely everyone!

[@motymora]

Amazing. Watching this video from time to time, still far better than others in discussing unity issues. Thank you

[@fahadalallaq5216]

Amazing video; I especially like how he opened the video with a with story. It demonstrates how we deal with issues on a regular basis and how crucial negotiation skills are.

[@4disputes]

My Ury said, "It takes two sides to fight but a third to stop." There is real science and math behind this. Its called a mediating variable. In statistics, a variable that transmits the indirect effects of an independent variable or variables on a dependent variable. For example, the relationship between social support and exercise adherence could be mediated by motivation: social support leads people to be more motivated which in turn leads them to adhere to an exercise program.

[@piotrsauerbronn]

What are your thoughts on Universal Basic Income?

[@andyclausen5521]

German: Viele Elfchen mit Stil MEIN E-book, Andy Clausen

[@sb77221]

This is one of many conflict resolution of William Ury without these lessons the world would be a more terrible world

[@melissagonzalez9882]

Really enjoyed the story in the beginning and the examples throughout the video. What was especially interesting was the story of walking the 'Path of Abraham.'

[@186bingo]

Very inspirational and on point. It's a shame that after 75+ years of this conflict we still can't get people to listen and walk if you will.

[@felicienharerimana1666]

This man is a gift that humanity got. we really need him in Africa. Ury, you are great!!!

[@michaeltoebe5619]

Hostility to Hospitality. Re-frame the way we look at things to get to that hospitality mindset. Not easy but not impossible. It takes strength to be courageous and endure and walk that hard road.

[@manujaranasinghe3087]

How to properly negotiate is explained and expressed eloquently. Thumbs up to Mr. Ury for that. However, part of Middle, Africa, and Asia still remain in conflict. I will use his lesson in my businesses.

[@malevmani]

the definition he gives for the terrorism and the opposite of terrorism is awesome and commendable. Hats off to you William Ury

[@KREATORDESTRUCTION99]

Uma mensagem para ser refletida e levada a serio. Parabéns!!!

[@mosesonly]

I guess at this time of the year and in this time of continuous conflict infested world this is a refreshing change and to know that there are people who think like that but better yet have actually acted as well is very comforting to know.Yes as we speak north and south Korea seem to be at it again ,once brothers now on/off I sincerely hope they have a facilitater like william as i think they truly need one.I t

[@mentorman6285]

Here in rural of South Afrika we still have community elders resolving conflict under the tribal authority . That system is very effective relative to imprisonment and or court . Thanks for uploading

[@clearmenser]

I'm not religious at all, but that story choked me up. Beautiful.

[@THINKER43]

Very thought provoking, people at the top need to give close attention to the calm delivery of this talk and act on it

[@hellomoto170]

That story at the start... I've never heard it before and it's brilliant!

[@Metalistforlife]

I love TED talks... the intellect of these individuals amazes me

[@maxwellranasinghemx622]

You are a great resource to the whole world.

[@thaleskroth]

Excellent lecture. A collaborative way can bring nations together.

[@lesliecapalac5037]

*snaps snaps all around. At the end of the day it is all about ourselves and what we can do for our community that will bring peace into our lives. If we just take the time to get to know others there would probably be less hatred and confusion. Also, if a conflict arises just take a step back, take a break, or have fresh eyes/ears in order to come into an agreement between all parties. Great Ted Talk brb I need to do the Ted Walk, haha.

[@andy4an]

This was exactly the right guy to bring to the Russia/Chechnya talk.

[@NareshSen]

What a great insight. Thank You William and Ted.

[@Viracocha711]

@Zotov13 I noticed the same thing about his eyes & even his mannerisms...He gives off a peaceful vibe even through video.

[@underdogwja]

The "Third Side" concept is even more powerful if you define it (and this works best among people who accept Jesus Christ as the authority on what is truth and right) as what we (or "us" as William says) believe Jesus would do in a given situation. My wife and I have used the "triangle analogy" in our marriage with great success. In a triangle you have two corners (sides) that are unique and different and opposing, but when both "sides" submit to the will of Christ (the 3rd Side or the corner at the top of the triangle), then the "two sides" (or opposing corners) move towards each other in a harmonious manner, or they go from a "hostility" as William says, to "hospitality." So the answer to peace is not a watered-down concept of "us" but lies in the God of Abraham, who is Jesus Christ. Abraham has a special understanding of the meaning of the Atonement as he was asked to and almost actually did sacrifice his son, Isaac. Walking "Abraham's Path" is to know Jesus Christ, and William Ury gets some inspiration from this prophet's life, but I suggest even more inspiration is available as you consider the letting Christ be the Third Side to any conflict, even if you are warring against yourself dealing with foibles.

[@Sanngot]

This is very inspiring! I hope that something can actually come from this and that it is not just groundless optimism.

[@Zarriana28]

I really enjoyed his story from the African tribe where they put away all weapons and sit down to talk to reach a solution. They do not stop talking until a resolution is met and if someone does not agree with the group and are still upset, they are sent to be with family until they find peace. If everyone in the World followed this method instead of fighting, war and destruction, we would all be living in harmony. We can learn a lot from deciding to choose a third side in conflicts. If we can assist others on complete opposite ends of an argument with a fresh perspective then maybe we can find greater peace than conflict in many areas. He also mentions the story where he was the mediator and found himself getting verbally attacked. He then stayed calm and redirected the conversation back to the main point. If we find a mediator to help us in conflict, the third side, we may be able to reach greater solutions. Arriana Roehl MGMT 4300-70

[@LaurenHuleis]

I really enjoyed listening to this Ted Talk and the opening story. It was a good way how real-life example negotiations are illustrated in the real world.

[@HarryNicNicholas]

having worked in television graphics and having to deal with producers and directors who can't make their minds up and basically have no qualms about wasting one's life, i found one answer is to say "i can make all the changes you want, but i need you to sit next to me until it's done", suddenly they let you go home and pick up the next day.

[@johnvonhandorf7177]

Incredible Speech. Thank you for sharing your insight.

[@0thatdudewill0]

i clicked "like" and "favorite" as soon as he said "we're all one family"

[@amircena1823]

that's what we really need, AWESOME!

[@georgiyroykhman7637]

Favorite Tedtalk. Revisit this a few times a year

[@JamesTraverseYoga]

Beyond 'talking' - this is a great 'walk' - Highest Recommendation. ~ Much Love, James

[@AliAhmed-xc7zf]

Hey James, are you alive rn? If so, hmu!

[@allfunthings]

Great video. I think more people should see this video.

[@LifeByMeVideos]

We are so honored to have WIlliam Ury today on lifebyme.com

[@viksra]

12:04 does anybody know if there is water inside of that roofed area in the center where the woman is sitting? (The Aleppo pic)

[@scottcates]

These are good ideas for humanity.

[@MartinBenek198]

Well, looks like you aren't walking through Allepo in 2016 :-(

[@nicolepedley8352]

Your talk was great actually.... thanks

[@mikebeim]

The word solution represents something static which is not possible in a dynamic world. THE POINT is: a 3rd party is a way of changing the vector of dialogue. ANY dialogue constricted to a single direction will take the form of conflict over time since the parties represent different dynamic systems. It's about stepping in once in a while to point out the constrictions that a static vector poses on individual and COMMON INTERESTS, it's about staying in motion parallel to shifts on the outside.

[@Alkomp75]

What an inspirational man !

[@AhJodie]

What a beautiful idea, and he has great shining eyes!

[@teemoney6731]

Great story in the beginning to catch the audience's attention and great examples in the whole speech especially the terrorism example.

[@onee]

@Metalistforlife I know, it is unbelievable how the TED Talks always surprise me, because they tell something which we assume as very tough/complicated as something very easy to apply. It is actually stupid that they don't teach us this type of material at school.

[@vikivoicecoach]

What a speaker,Beautiful

[@Deepa16]

great insight.thankyou mr.william.

[@7Drummy]

One would be lucky to accomplish a percent of this man's accomplishments.

[@emmydymme]

Just love these talks! I have to share this. thanks a lot for awakening our brains :)

[@oxygen240]

The explanation of this idea is very good. But I think it's incomplete because the heart of conflicts' matter is not only a reason of kind of behaviours, it's also because of the confrontation of our different personnalities. According to me, the open-minded quality, listening to people, be objective are the keys of the resolution of a conflict. The knowledge of ours opposites is essential.

[@mattdepalma6565]

Tl:dr version: be kind to others

[@crosey109]

This guy is a great speaker

[@MrJaiLeeworthy]

the idea here is that individual moral choices, i.e display of the virtue of hospitality, particularly across borders, can ultimately solve political problems...which makes a fair amount of sense in a democracy, because it promotes a more compromising viewpoint (this being the "third side" he mentioned)

[@friendsgroup3330]

Hi William, thank you for the great speech. I wish you could do something (become a 3rd side) to avoid the genocide of more than 200,000 Palestinians during the last 14 months. Fourteen months was a lot of time to stop the genocide. Yes, it is not yours but everybody's responsibility to come forward but your research and conclusions could work to save the lives lost. Best regards. Dec. 17, 2024, Romania.

[@AnnaCherry]

William Ury = Real-life Picard

[@Rimsh7]

Fantastic Contribution!

[@SirArghPirate]

@DJGelbart I think you missed the point; 'The solution is simple, not easy', but it works. That's it.

[@TBlev215]

As much as I enjoyed this talk and wished something like this could be possible, conflict is essential to the ongoing processes of the universe. Evolution, social conflicts, conflicts in many other areas... as harsh as it is, it is through conflict that many things achieve definition. Sure, resolving all conflicts and having true lasting peace is a noble goal, but we must realize that that would ultimately lead to stagnation. And then what will we do when innovation becomes even more essential?

[@IAmTheUnknownPunk]

love that first story.

[@mauricioarturovargasalvare7725]

a great insight and a walk for third side

[@loafer20002000]

There are always skeptics when truth is involved. No matter how much you chisel away the frvolities of this talk the basic ideology is true. Get from it what you will!

[@khi590]

Good to avoid conflicts: best is to keep cool and argue logically telling that you are not bound to please anybody with your answer, but at the same time not provoke new anger...Abraham was a nomad and nomad*s tradition is to be hospitable at any costs, good that the poor lady (at the end) gets money for doing what her culture taught her to do. Don*t abuse traditions, e.g. occupy a house, a place, a country that was not meant by hospitality since nomads are settled now...Peace for all!

[@kenjeev]

@Rimsh7 It's because KZbin lets commenters be anonymous, whereas TED.com makes everyone use their real name. It's amazing how much that single requirement gets rid of trolling.

[@viswaghosh1]

Excellent Talk - and worth exploring at every opportunity. QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU DO IF THE EXISTENCE OF TERRORISM OR HOSTILITIES IS THE VERY RATIONALE FOR AN ENTITY'S EXISTENCE? (Specific example: What will happen to the military-industrial complex if PEACE TRULY REIGNED on this Earth? No weapons required - not even a hand gun!)

[@MelvilleG]

The key for terrorism is uninterference with the private affairs of your neighbors. If the jews were not forcibly planted in their current territory by oppressing the indigines - no conflict would ever happen. If Russia did not conquer Caucasus and did not threaten the nearby countries - no hatred would ever be toward it. Terrorism is basically the desperate attempt to confine the aggression with aggression. The bare diplomacy will not help settle the conflicts, justified by the policy of the people and the country. Only the political neutrality in regard to the neighbors can guarantee absence of aggression on their side.

[@awhodothey]

Please explain Saudi terrorism then. Terrorism is simply a technique. Sometimes, a technique encouraged by idealogies that preach it is spiritually preferable.

[@Crazee108]

It's weird. He's essentially telling us, when faced with conflict, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. But i think many like this video... simply due to the delivery. he speaks quite well, the words he uses are good to... mm...

[@doreenann3402]

Very inspirational

[@MDMAx]

15:39 didn't expect that loss comming

[@Mexicotravelltd.]

Amazing perspective

[@stevao]

@charlessmyth I would have added the fractions... 1/2 + 1/3 + 1/9. Need to find lowest common denominator, which is divisible by all of the above. This is 18. So multiplying up we get 9/18, 6/18 and 2/18. Luckily of course 9 + 6 + 2 = 17 :)

[@noeromero5215]

Well done sir.

[@physicswithvignesh2538]

"The secret to peace is us". The secret to conflict is us in caps

[@TantrumV1]

@57beachbum I didn't say you were wrong, I just meant that your interpretation of the example is completely tangential to the point of the ted talk.

[@mentehe1]

even if ur a non-believer, just grasp the story of Abraham, and the important part is that we in the Middle East don't question his existence. the speaker is trying to find a common ground, something people can start from. So, don't just come up questioning the existence of Abraham cause its not the point in question up there.

[@nestquick9204]

Practice makes perfect. As a famous Jedi once said, the greatest teacher failure is.

[@altafhossain7086]

Excellent insights

[@JohanBesterphotos]

Yes! That's exactly what I wanted to say!

[@teknikalyfit]

The peace on the Abraham's Path was disrupted very hardly just after this peaceful speech and still broken. Is it interesting?

[@MarcelaVitorino]

Very good.

[@Wayne1121]

It is an interesting idea to transform conflict through community involvement and responsibility. That I, as a stranger, can take upon myself the obligation to feed the traveler, the wandering family. It is not simply us and them, if everyman acknowledges that they have an invested interest to begin with and is accountable for it, then there can be no dichotomy. Also, as a side note: saying that a problem has to do with ethnicity is racism, is nowhere near solution and engenders animosity.

[@ammypammy]

very actual indeed

[@TonyHaddonIE]

@ghostrid3 I don't agree. The core idea is sound. It's how you act on that idea (if you choose to do so) that counts.

[@sketchup73]

very enlightening. he reminds me of GANDHI, who did a similar DANDI MARCH...a 15 day walk to the beach to break the salt law .......all this happened when britishers ruled india about 60 years ago. please search google images with the search words ' dandi march' to see it.

[@hariyantosalle7927]

Great insight

[@Rimsh7]

@Salvat1onD3neid The reason this is rated highly on ted.com and not on KZbin is because the average intelligence of the KZbin community pales in comparison. Reading the comments here I realized that there is a glaring lack of appreciation for out-of-the box thinking and also an inability to understand subtle differences in mindset and how these are relevant in the larger picture. He does *not* have answers but he does have a supposed 'first-step' from which other can progress.

[@rajasmasala]

@neoaeonian Yes, but at 30% of GDP that seems a far overbalanced number. I'm convinced appropriate regulation that allowed proper transparency would make this sector much more efficient, and I'm convinced it has not supplied capital where it could be used most productively at crucial moments. Also I think the inefficiency of the finance sector, at 30% of GDP, has something to do with the lack of punitive measures on the finance sector for far too long. Not just here, but in Washington also.

[@santaana36]

@tcorp No, he picked the symbolic father of both peoples. A common ground to start from. A reminder that, fundamentally, they are the same.

[@frilink]

@ChaseKittens idk about unicorn but fairies does exist in the teaching of Christianity and Judaism, it is called "cherub"

[@BelipeF]

@kiddhitta Did you purposefully missed the point that in that particular case, geogrpahy, culture and yes Religiuos belief is what unites them? It about negotiation and finding common ground. If you go to that region to preach them about how their religion is wrong you might as well just stay home. It's about NEGOTIATION, not religion! it just HAPPENS to be the common ground in that particular case.