The Weird Relationships of Reddit

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Today we're talking about the weirdest couples on the r/relationships and r/relationship_advice subreddits.
Shout out to / redditships on twitter for being a good source of ridiculous ones
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[@jarvis]

use promo code KEVIN if you wanna get BURNED 😡(but also receive 10% off)

[@isolofvtion]

*_K E V I N_*

[@ang3l878]

WHATS HIS NAME? (Edit) JARVIS WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME

[@AbdulRahman-or7og]

why is there no size Xs for your merch

[@kayla-yy4sq]

Ok boomer

[@nuggetyo1316]

I am a candle

[@MadeleineSwannSurreal]

I don't know if I could ever trust a person who refuses to share their yawns

[@QueerAndHunger]

Me neither. What're they trying to hide? Are they... are they giving their yawns to someone else...?

[@prachisaini1]

@Just Another Nobody yikess dont know may be . But yikes!!.

[@LulusYoutubeChannel]

Yawning is actually a myth sooo....

[@cherryixing4372]

Didn't come here for someone to tell me i might be a psychopath because i don't yawn when others do, lol.

[@luvarrowz]

one of my friends coughs out their lungs when people yawn, it’s like a psychological trigger or something, so i try to hold in when i have to yawn

[@clareboland6131]

“My husband wants to start a restaurant for magicians, and it is tearing our family apart” Actually Happened

[@Schemingzy]

Lmao

[@virginiavanni8061]

The husband's name? Gob bluth

[@riciso]

OMG Im 555th like! :D

[@moffin5692]

the way jarvis said it too

[@kyokoswiife]

😂😂😂

[@lilith1992]

The reddit relationship stories are always stuff like "the relationship between me (26, f) and my fiance (28, m) is perfect. Except whenever we have an argument he just straight up sh*ts on the floor and makes me clean it up while I have to wear a maid costume and apologize to him. What do you think about that? Btw we are getting married tomorrow."

[@uhnothing5345]

Unrealistic. They are usually getting married much earlier.

[@ms.dr3amer]

Then in the comment sections a bunch of people spamming the red flag emoji and demanding they break up immediately

[@krabiat]

u stole this lol

[@marzipan2555]

@@ms.dr3amer and then the contrarians come in all like 'why does everyone on reddit automatically jumping to breaking upppp no one wants to work on relationships anymore ' . Some relationships arent worth saving buddy lol

[@kellynanea9948]

“EMBERLY. What, you’re just taking a shit on the floor? What did you eat?”

[@jacob.loesch]

"Relationships. We've all had them." probably the least relatable quote I've ever heard.

[@horse_stan6007]

Allow me... Money. We've all had it

[@doodledevore4374]

@@horse_stan6007 Nah, doesn't work either, ALLOW ME! Life.. We've all had those.

[@idkwhatnametochoose8335]

@@doodledevore4374 no more like mustache we all have it

[@Jjtheestallion]

@@doodledevore4374 Nah doesnt work for me

[@TheAviationGuyID]

@@doodledevore4374 nah, allow me! ......a soul with happiness................ oh wait i dont have one

[@sovietbot6708]

"she's a native German speaker who speaks German natively" -Jarvis 2019

[@paigecannon9660]

The Gaytheist Oh my god, 123 Go! has taken over Jarvis

[@shruh7174]

I really like the clarification because I always see native Germans who don't speak German natively and it's so confusing, finally someone explains.

[@choc795]

Does your user name mean you are a gay theist ( someone who believes in god ) or a gay atheist ( someone who does not believe in god ).

[@sovietbot6708]

@@choc795 gay Atheist. Everyone wanted me to change it to Gaytheist. I said if it confuses too many people like I feared, I will change it back.

[@JumpiiB]

The Gaytheist Omgggg (Also I freaking love your username like I freaking was like "HHHHHHHH-----" when I read it it so funny XD)

[@lyndsey8088]

“She’s a native German speaker who speaks German natively.” Oh right, the poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen specially to kill Kuzco. Kuzco’s poison. That poison?

[@stanstanstan2597]

Yes Kronk

[@untitledmessgaming8242]

YES, THAT POISON!

[@kirin1230]

Underrated comment and underrated movie

[@rachelleredd8803]

Y E S T H A T P O I S O N

[@MegaraTheUnwise]

Pull the lever!

[@zeenat8338]

My favorite reddit relationship story was about a couple that was perfectly happy except that, every time they went to Waffle House, the boyfriend would physically fight one of the waiters. He would insist on going to that Waffle House specifically so he could become enraged and fight that one waiter. I honestly don't care if it's a true story or not, I just love envisioning it.

[@Dgero]

Did the girlfriend care in this story, cause I find the idea a bit more humorous if the girl is just completely fine with the dude going to Waffle House with the sole intent of fighting a single waiter

[@sawyernorthrop4078]

Average waffle house patron

[@kayla_mallen]

can i get a waffle?....can i PLEASE get a waffle??

[@ayyylmao101]

An admirable shounen rivalry right there

[@geeniel4462]

🤣

[@erin8765]

All the women posting on r/relationshipadvice are like "my husband wants to sell our children on the blackmarket for money to fund his addiction to garfield memorabilia" and all the men posting are "my gf is mad at me for taking her life savings and going on a trip to Vegas with the boys tell me I'm right and she's being unreasonable"

[@wittyusernamesareacryforva4748]

Just want to let you know that I exhaled out loud at this comment

[@aonairskies]

i can't stop laughing

[@SlavaZone]

AITA is always like this too!!

[@kongspeaks4778]

Lmao

[@k_rose2k]

*Jarvis getting stressed over other people’s relationships for 18 minutes straight*

[@TheOnlyHollywood1]

Because he is alone just like the rest of us

[@thegreensunsetgroup2501]

@@TheOnlyHollywood1 I know... candle... I mean Kennith... yeah....

[@teen17]

@@TheOnlyHollywood1 he's not a ugly person if he put his self out there he can get a girlfriend unless I'm wrong and he already has one

[@Desiree917us]

Highly recommend it!!!

[@Tina-wl2fc]

Anand R. Misir so true

[@charlx8979]

Jarvis has a girlfriend, but shes from canada and he met her at camp and he cant show pics because it was wilderness camp and his phone fell in niagra falls

[@wriggleby]

YES

[@dejavukassian2kt303]

charl X what?

[@Ocer.]

@@dejavukassian2kt303 ok

[@audreyxx8311]

@@Sushmyt hope you're well bud seem like you have a lot of anger to get out. try boxing lol

[@coolperson8272]

@Isabella Steller Lmao, looks like they deleted their comments. What did they even say?

[@cipritine]

Good news: Chris is a real magician Bad news: Chris is using his powers to manipulate your husband

[@michaelpopup]

Good thing I'm stupid and a neanderthal man

[@michaelpopup]

Uga buga

[@dottyContrarian]

@@michaelpopup

[@michaelpopup]

@@dottyContrarian uggga bugggggga 😣😖😩😫🤢🤮

[@michaelpopup]

@Peters Eniola uuuuga? boooga uga bu

[@chunkyunicorn3996]

If my husband randomly started “stealing my yawns”, even if we had been married 47 years with 6 kids and 14 grandkids, I would 100% divorce him on the spot

[@sarahgooey]

yeah im gonna save my soul lmao

[@auntbill8166]

Purchase

[@n646n]

Sure

[@lavenderriver6256]

"how about u amber u've been pretty quiet. how's the new bf?" "h e t a k e m y y a w n"

[@existingboiexistingboi4769]

*H E T A K E Y A W N*

[@cecilofchristmaspast4186]

4/20/20 666th like

[@sasakiharuzi5477]

@@cecilofchristmaspast4186 Devil!

[@cecilofchristmaspast4186]

@@sasakiharuzi5477 *Hiss!*

[@sasakiharuzi5477]

@@cecilofchristmaspast4186 **Starts praying**

[@bailey4032]

My favorite r/relationships post was from a girl who absolutely adored her perfect, loving boyfriend but was slightly concerned that he might be a necrophiliac

[@coleabrahams9331]

Holy smokes

[@coldjolteon5799]

Yeah, this became slightly elevated at a moderately slow pace

[@ShibuNub3305]

Slightly?!

[@OfAxisAndAllies]

I need to find that post, I wanna know how it turnt out

[@Moocow2003]

wait, wasn't it that he was fantasizing about killing her? Couldn't even have the decency to wait for her to die on her own. Smh. Chivalry is dead.

[@sageale]

I majored in philosophy in college so I know my fair share of philosophers. If you meet someone who's favorite philosopher is Hegel, RUN. Run as far away as you can as fast as you can

[@Window4503]

Why? I thought the black sheep was Derrida.

[@Rainbowthewindsage]

I'm curious what about Hegel should prompt me to run?

[@sallywagner188]

I get why this guy would like Hegel so much though. Hegel’s whole schtick was that he was just soooooo much smarter than everyone else.

[@rubyxaruby]

I agree, that person will never make any sense but keep insisting that you're the stupid one.

[@bundevsawhney7578]

@@Rainbowthewindsage he was a Nazi sympathizer among other things...that combined with the husband speaking random German is a little bit sus imo

[@sangria-margarita]

*tune of Taylor Swift’s “Wildest Dreams” No one has to know what we do His hands are in my hair His cards are in my soup

[@iipshabhaduri]

I laughed out loud and my parents might think I'm crazy. 10/10

[@frosty_teacup]

LOL

[@thedisablednoobgaming3365]

Pozi Poza, HAHAHA 😂

[@lunalovegood-it2mt]

And the men are in on in the scheme Magic lasts forever And it’s just getting good nowwww

[@leahjk97]

I just laughed out loud this is beautiful

[@elisyasinea1727]

“My husband wants to start a ‘restaurant for magicians’, and it’s tearing our family apart” sounds like an actually happened video title.

[@dustinmalpass]

I was thinking he same thing.

[@sasakiharuzi5477]

Sounds dramatic to me

[@robinsea]

That or a McElroy brothers pitch

[@Romanticoutlaw]

sucks for him, that already exists. Abra Kadabra, it’s in the mountain west and does breakfast and brunch exclusively

[@totlicker]

Even when growing up at the peak of the internet, I'm still weirded out and flabbergasted on how weird people are in our world. Like, these posts are so strange. Funny, but strange.

[@johnnyboy2247]

Jarvis does have a girlfriend, she just goes to another school

[@simonj6801]

You mean preschool

[@johnnyboy2247]

Ohhh, my mistake

[@Sharcys]

She lives in *Canada* and she's too busy to visit cause of her *hockey practice* guys!!!!

[@JadeDimech]

In Canada

[@22_fates]

She is in a different preschool so it’s true

[@BriAngel476]

the majority of r/relationships is "my (20f) husband (55m) got mad at me for existing and destroyed my passion project that i love while having a toddler-esque tantrum about me having a life. what do i do?"

[@thegarbagegamer6925]

Thought the person was 20 feet tall and their husband was 55 meters tall. SMH

[@insertherealotofeyeemojis2185]

divorce

[@Someone-kg8cc]

"hegel can only be understood in the original german" bruh. hegel cannot be understood period

[@nunyabiz6532]

Hegel can only be understood on a very specific frequency of LSD lol

[@blaiklees.9751]

Me trying to reach the word count on an essay “She’s a native German speaker that speaks German natively”

[@heroinharald2640]

In Germany we call it:"DEUTSCH"!!

[@Lucifer-do7mf]

@@heroinharald2640 STIMMT!!

[@atriyakoller136]

@@heroinharald2640I'm an English teacher here in Russia, and you can't imagine how many times I've heard "I speak Deutsch/I don't speak Deutsch" from different students 😂

[@atriyakoller136]

@@heroinharald2640 aber wir nennen es "немецкий" in Russland :)

[@heroinharald2640]

@@atriyakoller136 I think it's super hilarious when you say it with a angry voice xD

[@dinabooysen2899]

"My boyfriend keeps stealing my yawns" - Actually Happened

[@his_purpose3]

My Boyfriend Keeps Stealing My Yawns and I'm Not Happy

[@sadnessofwildgoats]

200th like

[@paulrudd4559]

My boyfriend abandoned me for my yawns, so I died

[@MEDSZ13.08]

@@paulrudd4559 then i came back to life and as i was dead i heared him say I VANT YOUR YAWNS

[@KuLaydMahn]

I can believe that. Know whats fun? When your partner goes to yawn amd blow in their mouth (like youre blowing out a candle). Instant laughs! But like the girl said about "taking yawns," its only funny in small, spontaneous doses. I mean, any joke told over and over gets old pretty fast

[@georgiabrown2037]

The sweet lesbian couples he talked about gives me hope that I’ll have a nice girlfriend one day.

[@applef1uffy]

I know I have a crush on this girl but she hardly k who’s I exist 😔👊

[@georgiabrown2037]

@@applef1uffy pog

[@applef1uffy]

@@georgiabrown2037 e

[@georgiabrown2037]

@@applef1uffy Sorry, thats really hard is what I meant

[@AAAAAA-nw1tx]

@@applef1uffy Is it Georgia Brown? Is she the one you have a crush on?

[@jevilcore]

Love that 2 of the 3 cute ones you mentioned were lesbians... Jarvis said lesbian rights.

[@moth5096]

fr fr

[@itsarali]

HELL YEAH

[@MicrowaveableMatt]

@@itsarali 10000/10 pfp

[@itsarali]

@@MicrowaveableMatt haha thanks!

[@Memer9456]

enough about gay rights lets talk about gay lefts

[@comrade1158]

When his wife called him Phil, she was thinking about Dr. Phil (and honestly, who isn’t).

[@kaiaspiesz5635]

Ist dr.phil 69 years old...isnt 69 the fUnNy NuMbEr

[@hanjisungsknees47]

Dr phill is a sexy man

[@hierstehtkeinname7092]

Dr Phil is hot

[@Nezumi99]

If u think about Dr. Phil during sex, You have a problem

[@MEDSZ13.08]

Nahhh she was like PHIL ME UP

[@linkholder]

New merch "He take my yawn"

[@linkholder]

Welp. Time to spend 30$ on the new shirt

[@drinkbleech8572]

**Hiding my yawn** would be a good one to

[@stamatinap4092]

@@drinkbleech8572 I yawned by reading your comment

[@drinkbleech8572]

@@stamatinap4092 haha let's together yawn

[@stamatinap4092]

@@drinkbleech8572 we need to hide it though

[@charliedawson6318]

_Restaurant for Magicians_ sounds like a Todd scheme from Bojack Horseman.

[@alishiamitchell1396]

I was thinking the same thing

[@d.tsukuyomi1869]

"Okay, okay, hear me out on this one, Bojack... It's a restaurant... for magicians!" "Todd, for God's sake, didn't I tell you to finish with those stupid schemes of yours that end up endagering all of us?" "But this one is failproof! I even got a blueprint of the edifice we will use for the MagicDonalds!"

[@Amanda-ex4sr]

Subconsciously imagined the husband as Todd from Bojack Horseman

[@Bananachan289]

OMG yes lol

[@GlitterGal101]

Honestly, I was just imagining it was Todd the entire time. But it also sounded like Diane complaining about Mr. Peanutbutter getting roped up in a Todd scheme.

[@peanut_butter_wizard1213]

That yawn thing sounds like the type of weird shit I would put my parents through when I was a toddler

[@steven_heron]

“Whenever Kevin smiles... it just lights up the whole room.”

[@xlawxc]

“He’s the light of my life.”

[@pingnixon-hermansen5046]

@@xlawxc "whenever hes here, i can see things much more clearly!"

[@khadijahmuhammad4771]

He hot

[@___d311]

Steven Heron Kevin makes me so hot

[@HistoricaHungarica]

"He... has a good smell?"

[@aliciac1577]

These could be the stories that weren't accepted into My Story Animated.

[@okinawadreaming]

They couldn't deceive 8 year olds, so they're used to deceive Reddit users instead.

[@chrisding1976]

What The.. how do you not deceive 8 year olds and expect it to deceive full on adults lol

[@mica8701]

earth is filled to brim with weird ass people

[@sasakiharuzi5477]

@@mica8701 Something i can relate to

[@happyburgerman9724]

@@chrisding1976 but reddit users aren't adults

[@RGBCoco]

"My husband wants to start a restaurant for magicians and it's tearing our family apart" sounds like an Actually Happened video

[@eszterszabo3577]

My candle's name is Freddie, uses the pronoun it, and likes listening to jazz music and watching me paint

[@catie5403]

Relationship goals

[@EarlyOwOwl]

"I've read the classics of philosophy to engage with my husband's work, but he still thinks I need to do more even though he's never read a book on physics." I... I don't know what to say that's just downright sad.

[@puck9741]

I see Italy

[@raidenslade]

Ayyyy

[@EF-kk3vh]

So true Franziska von Karma

[@elisecode2212]

for me it's the fact that he's trying to mansplain physics and german to a german physicist. idk how/why people put up with this stuff

[@Vontyak]

I was thinking about why a “restaurant for magicians” sounded so familiar, then I remembered there was an episode of the Disney channel comedy “Austin and Ally” where they go on a date to a restaurant run by magicians that featured a good amount of the things described in that reddit post.

[@kayrose6670]

the mystery is solved and op is just an Austin and ally fan

[@mikeybud3501]

I thought the exact same thing. It's been a vivid memory in my mind for a while

[@caylalynn5340]

@@mikeybud3501 or "Chris" could have watched the episode and gone, "That's a great idea! Now to find a chef!"

[@urthestargirl]

@@kayrose6670 i wanna like your comment but it's at 69 likes and i don't wanna ruin it

[@cappycontrolledfludd2196]

Austin and Ally are part of the Jarvis Cinematic Universe

[@scepticalhyenas5750]

Best move for magician one would be for the wife to just.. put cards in every meal she makes for the husband. Mac and cheese? Card. Roast beef? Card. Burger? Many cards for each player. Throw him off his rhythm. Soup? Card. Maybe a cut up card so theres pieces of card floating around that he has to fish out. Speaking of fish! Card. Tuna salad? Cut up card. Desserts? Find a way. Sneak it in under the whipped cream. Hide it in frosting. Sneak it into cake layers. Playing cards in food... it's not appetizing.

[@pulsarcubes]

my husband wants a divorce and it’s tearing our family apart

[@TheLuxkywalker]

The restaurant owner should partner with the philosopher and make a business called Hegel's Bagels

[@ChillerCrow]

The 7 of ❤ baked into every bagel

[@alexanderticonuwu7591]

And everyone that eats there gets to be in on the scheme.

[@EF-kk3vh]

I should not have laughed as hard as I did

[@VickySidler]

Underrated 🤣

[@maya-bx3vq]

I have a feeling her husband is cheating on her with Chris

[@dejavukassian2kt303]

Maya F ya

[@psychott6]

Yeah, his obsession with his interests, that's a common sign of trying to relate to your loved one.........

[@arealisticbeautystandard8920]

F

[@liluthealmighty]

“Relationships. We’ve all had them!” Ok. Call me out.

[@sasakiharuzi5477]

that makes 2 of us

[@3daniku]

@@sasakiharuzi5477 3

[@sasakiharuzi5477]

@@3daniku sure 3 of us

[@satan9487]

@@sasakiharuzi5477 4 of us now

[@sasakiharuzi5477]

@@satan9487 ok then...That makes 4 of us

[@gildedpeahen876]

"becoming *encapsulated* by the idea" I'm picturing the husband inside a gelcap vitamin with floating top hats and magic wands and playing cards instead of the little balls)

[@RyanTosh]

With cards inside being *sEcReTeD*

[@ilikecurry2345]

Or maybe trapped in a small cage.

[@MetalQueerSolidTwinQueers]

Most of these titles sound like they would go to either _Actually Happened_ or *My Story Animated*

[@zetjet9901]

Oddy-KUUN-Moose, Same thing

[@etherealsky7078]

Oddy-KUUN-Moose Or the best of them all: They Actually Animated My Story

[@shivronmanickam7917]

Also dory story

[@Mucblaster24]

Especially the last one

[@lilstinker4776]

I was gonna comment this too!!!

[@jomoony0611]

calling your demon bf "my perfect little angel" probably isn't the smartest thing to do 🥴

[@xlawxc]

Ok how about perfect little fallen angel.

[@prachisaini1]

He needs to be thrown in a church lol bring the daggers 😂😂😂 i see the omen rising.

[@Soul_Twister]

Pfp checks out

[@jomoony0611]

@@Soul_Twister LUL

[@roseofhybrids]

5:20 at first I thought by giving yawns they meant like when you yawn and that makes someone else yawn as a result and it's said that when that happens it's a sign that the people are close, so it kinda had some sort of weird nonsensical logic to it like catching yawns means two people are close and if I'm not then does that mean we aren't close? like, no it doesn't mean that, but being on the internet as long as I have I could believe someone would think that

[@jessmtnz]

I thought the same. Not yawning after someone else is a sign of sociopathy...

[@darkdudironaji]

"I've read Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle but everyone's done that." Well Jarvis, Socrates doesn't have anything written down so I seriously doubt anybody's read that.

[@emilylike-the-soup2502]

Well, we have sources like “The Apology.” I know those were written by Plato, but they’re supposed to be Socrates’ ideas, right?

[@leaallo4781]

Lowkey Socrates didnt exist he was just Plato’s imagination dude that’s the only thing I learned on my one philosophy lesson i took in high school

[@wburchell3468]

He knows something we don't.

[@CJ-iz3mp]

Jarvis saying gay rights at every opportunity is extremely chefs kiss

[@lqu]

gay rights? i wanna see some gay fights!!!

[@CJ-iz3mp]

@@lqu I'm down lets go fight me

[@lqu]

@@CJ-iz3mp I ain't gay.

[@CJ-iz3mp]

@@lqu ewww lameee :( whatever, find another gay to fight me then

[@alexanderpumpkin3423]

Emma gay fight!!

[@ceci9933]

your german was so funny omfg (im a native german who lives in Germany and speaks german natively)

[@leanderm4325]

same lmao

[@etoileslanuit]

Me too! I’m just like you a native German who speaks German natively while living in Germany where we speak German (natively). That was me trying to be funny. Verdammt.

[@yannick6927]

Video: *Contains german words* Germans: DAS IST JETZT UNSER EIGENTUM

[@ceci9933]

@@yannick6927 ABER NATÜRLICH DOCH!! ksks

[@random_boi_5006]

Idk are you SURE you can speak german

[@biggmole]

6:18 *he take my yawn*

[@blainehancock]

You should find the one where this husband just got his degree and had told his wife once he got a job she could start a business she always wanted then she finally told him she wanted to start a company that made heelys for dogs.

[@skalty9868]

He never once talked to her about the business beforehand?

[@kiyote437]

"When I ask him to explain Hegel, he just gives more jargon!" That's the problem. Nobody can explain Hegel, not even Hegel.

[@svenkobus4356]

tbh it kinda sounds like she married an post-modernist.

[@bloggerblogg5878]

Exactly. Former philosopher student here. I found out during those years: the philosophers can't understand themselves either.

[@kafkafication3449]

@@svenkobus4356 Ladies is he rude, skinny, and condescending? That's not your man that's.....Michel Foucault.

[@nekofrau]

Jarvis: His name is Kevin, the candle Candle: Callmekevin

[@Acydable]

Praise the Leader.

[@aaronmolloy6934]

Jim Pickens has been summoned.

[@htutkhantko2902]

ALL HAIL JIM PICKENS

[@prophetofwatersheep8100]

Candle? More like bore Ragnarok

[@gothamcowboy]

official candle of our dear leader...

[@anikachaturvedii]

Bet the magic husband is actually Phil Dunphy and that’s who the other wife was cheating with

[@cathulu7975]

"My husband is starting a 'resteraunt for magicians' and it's tearing our family apart" sounds like the name of an Actually Happened or My Story episode

[@sasakiharuzi5477]

yeah i know right

[@pheov.5619]

"my boyfriend wont sneeze on me!!! 😡😡😡"

[@et3791]

Dang it Kevin!

[@madelineburill5006]

"My boyfriend won't acknowledge my existence!!!"😡😡😡

[@theshevanel]

Madeline Burill how do you even know you exist? 🤔

[@madelineburill5006]

@@theshevanel :0

[@aliveslice]

@@madelineburill5006 every one of my boyfriends and girlfriends I've never met Time to hit r/relationships

[@bird__man]

"Philosophy majors get a bad rap for being annoying" and the people who say that are 100% correct.

[@satan9487]

my exact reaction

[@lqu]

What is annoying?

[@no-sc7yw]

@@lqu oh god please no

[@maxwellli7057]

@@lquand how much does it weigh?

[@screwtapee]

Like Chidi

[@Lord10thKazeKage]

I cannot be the only person who thought he was gonna say “Kevin smells good” as a trait 😂😂😂😂😂

[@danielholtzman2582]

There's something so beautiful about that kid honestly worrying and putting effort into trying to figure out what to do about his 'short arms' situation.

[@melaniemezker7561]

when you spoke german it actually wasn't that bad lmao i am a native speaker, speaking natively

[@inferno8115]

I mean Germany did start 2 world wars...i don’t think that the harsh accents helped it lmao

[@ultimatebro5719]

Du sprichst gut Deutsch?

[@Max-nk9xg]

@@aribantala not the full picture, the german sovereign of back then was absolutely stupid and germany was very keen on going to war, they unconditionally promised austria to join them in armed conflict if such arose. the serbian austrian incident was just a good reason for them to try their luck. it has indeed nothing to do with the german language or this video though.

[@elysahatestostudy9364]

Yeah I was surprised as well when he just started speaking platt?deutsch and he wasn't half bad either

[@kendallsilver2607]

but do you speak the _original german_

[@yokoidkcovers925]

Nobody: Jarvis’s re-enactment of kissing: *MUWAMUWAMUWAMUWAMUWAMUWA*

[@darbyseymour8233]

Karma!

[@OGimouse1]

"He take my yawn" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@RuinedSnowyDay]

The whole senpai thing is I suppose a bit weird, but why the hell would you make a post about it? Like ether you’re okay with his kink or turn on or whatever you call it, or you’re uncomfortable and just tell him no which is totally okay.

[@synlynx3583]

When a 19th century german philosopher is your waifu.

[@pluto3194]

I mean he kinda thicc tho

[@GlassesnMouthplates]

*Husbando

[@trialerrorsharer9398]

@@GlassesnMouthplates Prove he's not a waifu.

[@cloverdeityhearted8729]

The Good Place specifically warned us about philosophy professors, she should've listened.

[@adontaewilson4536]

Chidi

[@glenk.4124]

“I’ve had a relationship with Jesus”

[@siennasamuel]

I love reddit. I heard it once described as “the social media for people who think they’re too good for social media” and I think that’s accurate and really funny

[@jojeli1316]

*My boyfriend: Give me your yawns!* Me: *ctrl alt delete*

[@lqu]

Your boyfriend: W h a t ? Why did you just say "ctrl alt delete"?

[@maxwellli7057]

Win x u u

[@charityspov]

“Relationships... we’ve all had them.” *single & triggered* Thanks Jarvis!

[@ultimatebro5719]

Not all of us. But still not sadly to be honest.

[@adidoesstuff5999]

Yes you have! With your parents ;)

[@simonj6801]

@doge _ well um...

[@trialerrorsharer9398]

Have you met the nice orphanage lady.

[@SnakeEnthusiast]

Therapist: Don’t worry, hipster demon Jarvis isn’t real. Hipster demon Jarvis: 6:50

[@alastorbutwithagun]

"My husband wants to start a 'restaurant for magicians' and it's tearing out family apart" i'm sorry, but you're against this? i am *_very_* with this, if there can be maid cafes than you can make a magician restaurant, i *love* chris

[@annalisanorman9013]

Chris, we know that‘s you.

[@alastorbutwithagun]

@@annalisanorman9013 fuck they're caught me, but like, is this your card?

[@EF-kk3vh]

@@alastorbutwithagun the SEVEN OF HEARTS??? CHRIS HOW DID YOU DO THAT

[@alastorbutwithagun]

@@EF-kk3vh heh

[@htxmateo]

Jarvis has made more videos in a week than he has in the last year Edit: He has a second channel guys.

[@nicholasjacobs385]

true

[@kingchicken8232]

It’s great

[@htxmateo]

Chimdiie 101 Jarvis & Johnson

[@coconutshrimp7919]

Gotta push that limited edition merch

[@blueberrybookoriginal2370]

@rozbx LOL

[@jasonsillygoober]

*“gasp so i can have your yawnies!”* -demon boy 2019

[@mariamimi11297]

As a German, I was confused at first as he spoke German but after hearing it again, I must say that it was pretty good for someone who can't speak German!

[@tiredzei]

not me discovering jarvis while in quarantine, bingewatching his videos and hearing about the champion merch drop, being super excited then he says it's limited to a week and this was uploaded months ago i'm :(

[@supercool1312]

>good advice literally every post has people jn the comments shouting “BREAK UP”

[@clarathecat1233]

:')

[@quirkyblackenby]

Sometimes that’s the best advice

[@athenajaxon2397]

Most of the people on there seem to be at their wits ends and are probably just looking for encouragement from strangers

[@lguffee4930]

It’s not an inherently bad thing to break up with someone.

[@supercool1312]

@@lguffee4930 yes but they say that for literally every scenario. oh, they accidentally dropped a plate and broke it? break up. oh, they made eye contact with someone else for a second? break up

[@quinnmerritt3858]

Imagine if Jarvis’ coming out was the fact that he liked a male candle

[@thermon6945]

hmmmm

[@ejw2354]

That'd be a bit anticlimactic.

[@quinnmerritt3858]

E J W well coming out doesn’t have to be a huge deal. It’s just an expression of who you’re attracted to.

[@cumbucket1017]

@@evilandmaliciouswarwick Wdym?

[@portxr]

is that noora

[@insertcommaname1388]

5:30 He takes her breath away

[@GraveRobbertt]

Start of video: "relationships" Not ten seconds have passed and I can't relate already. 😊

[@sasakiharuzi5477]

yeah so that makes 2 of us

[@clarathecat1233]

:'D

[@clarathecat1233]

@@sasakiharuzi5477 hey it's you again XD

[@aH00man]

Hey Jarvis, I can tell you one thing about kevin; he's lit. Unfortunately, he's feeling a little burnt out right now.

[@ariaeapen8580]

slick

[@pinkdoesstuff]

Kevin is hot

[@odyssey_12]

He's also pine scented

[@pinkdoesstuff]

@@odyssey_12 with a hint of exotic rose

[@odyssey_12]

@@pinkdoesstuff of course

[@aidensplanet]

jarvis: "like you're eating a sandwich, oh, what's this? jAcK oF cLuBs?" me: "guess you could call it a club sandwich now"

[@seretonindealer9440]

Turn on your location, please

[@___d311]

mєlιssα Elon Musk would like to know your location

[@bin6549]

ba dum tss

[@aidensplanet]

thank you, thank you, i’ll be here my whole life

[@___d311]

mєlιssα r/technicallythetruth

[@salmay.2186]

I knew it was about Hegel when you said "insane"

[@abathtub1411]

the one-two punch of "he has never read a book on the subject" and the 'bad at math' at 8:54 ALWAYS gets me

[@maddiemetcalf8193]

Conspiracy theory: Jarvis just made all the scenarios in his actually happened title generator, then wrote some parts to post to Reddit under multiple usernames.

[@giovannieich7487]

Jarvis: tries his best to speak German Germans: You speak German with an Indian accent lol

[@jeffersonwright4286]

it was very soothing, ha!

[@elysahatestostudy9364]

Who

[@Kane_the_Newschool_DM]

The final one just sounds straight out of Mbmbam, absolutely wild energy there

[@funkybanjos2366]

jarvis talking affectionately + positively abt the wlw relationships was so cute

[@allison9392]

Theory: Chris took her husband's yawn, therefore, taking the husband's soul into his own

[@lenl8004]

Holy crap a smile precure fan in the wild!!!!

[@jaymixo607]

chris is actually hegel in disguise

[@deadaccount2212]

-GLITTER FORCE-

[@deadaccount2212]

dang it now I have the Glitter Force intro stuck in my head.

[@BirdSeedForSpeed]

The weirdest relationship ive ever seen was an ex-friend of mine who was bulimic and was dating a guy with a vomit fetish. You can just imagine how that worked

[@galaxysilver69]

What did I just read

[@corundumkrabble5035]

That doesn't sound very stable at all

[@alextorres5467]

Bownie Tomazini I miss 10 seconds ago when I didn’t read that

[@sidh1135]

I hate this mental image

[@h4xsama]

You mean ur exfriend was abused by a perv

[@MarloesvandenBosch]

I have shcizoaffective disorder (bipolar+schizophrenia) and I'm in a support group for it. I've heard a lot of crazy things people have done when they were manic and the magician restaurant story totally sounds like a manic thing to me. Chris probably just encourages it because he loves the idea. Just saying, could totally be real but not entirely sane ;D

[@SushiTea7]

Don't you just hate it when your s/o sucks out your soul when you yawn

[@mjr_schneider]

The academic philosopher one really hit close to home for me. I too have lost many friends to Hegel.

[@willkovach4255]

You missed the chance to say that Kevin was lit

[@kurbii5216]

I havent gotten to that part but i gave the comment a like because of Vector

[@AlbertFingernoodle959]

@@kurbii5216 it’s literally at the very beginning of the episode

[@kurbii5216]

@@AlbertFingernoodle959 oh i wasnt paying attention.

[@mlem1042]

I'll be honest, I'd love to go to a magical restaurant... Is that weird? It would have to be done right though. Imagine going to a restaurant and you have stuff levitating and a magician doing tricks on stage. That'd be fun af🤣❤️

[@-chanye-]

The light on your hair at 8:25 had me tripping out.

[@mollysteels9918]

"He take my yawn" genuinely made me laugh out loud. Thanks for making such a funny and entertaining video Jarvis! You are great at what you do and have a very likeable personality!

[@couchpotato4928]

do r/entitledparents next, the stories there are so fake it's ridiculous

[@bolt7047]

Most subreddits story's are fake there just the most obvious

[@bbyalienprincess5334]

It's definitely a r/childfree roleplaying sub lmfao

[@luanadebora1]

Couch Potato I hate when a good subredit gets popular, when it was just starting it was enjoyable, it was not hard to believe a mom getting angry at a poor employee for not wanting to do something for her children for free, but now It's so obvious the stories are not even entertaining anymore

[@ihatedmyoldnamesoheresanew7204]

*ahem* r/thathappened

[@three-bark1928]

All of the story are the same: I hAvE a BaBy sO I dEsErVe YoUr IpAd

[@Just_in_case_i_die..._]

I can think of one thing Kevin does. Kevin lights up the room. Wherever he is, we always shines the way to happiness :)

[@drewclarke560]

0:30 he’s *lit*

[@lopaneyovideos]

"Secreted" is used correctly. Pronounced "secret" -ed not "secrete" -d.

[@AnodyneJS]

Correct. Secreted is a somewhat more flowery alternative to hidden. Most commonly used like the Redditor used it, secreted away. Even knowing that, Secreted Away sounds like the knock-off version of the Miyazaki film Spirited Away.

[@elloello4236]

I read the last one as say cra tay..de

[@elloello4236]

@@AnodyneJS no it's the sequel ha

[@pattykrabbies]

Jarvis Johnson, our gay icon that dates candles

[@violetfenwick9580]

Yessssssssssss

[@shadowfallenssj]

Real Communism no

[@shadowfallenssj]

This shit is just jokes

[@deeznuts-rp2ms]

@Donthave Aname no

[@snomvish]

0:35 You could say... HE LIGHTENS UP YOUR LIFE!

[@alastorbutwithagun]

Oh god, it’s so bad it’s good