Bill Burr - Advice: Is This A Trap

/ themmpodcast and billburr.com/ and www.allthingscomedy.com/ . Email Bill at -- [e-mail]

[@jasondyrkacz8270]

When it comes to the laydees, if you must ask if it's a trap, it is a trap.

[@RetardedBatman]

Pretty solid advice

[@jasondyrkacz8270]

phillytheflyerable Venus fly traps.

[@Kitties_are_pretty]

Penis fly traps.

[@miamiheatbaby87]

Amen brother

[@jonnym4670]

pretty sure she already fucked another dude wants to feel less guilty about it but doesn't want to come clean

[@kennethshiro9500]

"You can't be walking around in the goddamn gimp suit when your kids could walk in any minute." is one of my favorite Bill quotes.

[@jackrockwell6698]

Kenneth Shiro I thought it was hilarious when he mentioned how herpes “paratroops down on your ball bag.”

[@lukec410]

@@jackrockwell6698 I cant breathe

[@cwhoff290]

Solid gold

[@crashfrog3051]

"Don't look sideways at your wife as you're eating a bowl of corn Chex" LOL

[@sermilion_audio]

The best advice Bill gives is "rub one out" before doing something xD

[@redfather5342]

Or smoke a bowl

[@bobbyjohnson5118]

@@redfather5342 smoking a bowl is nice but nowhere near post nut clarity

[@jamesofteamrocket3810]

"Rub one out and hit the gym." Is two of his best peices of advice.

[@internziko]

"BAWSTIN MAWKIT!"

[@doshinall]

Bill you're absolutely correct on this. I think this is a prelude for bringing another guy into the picture. Hell, we all have fantasies, and they should remain just that. This isn't a girlfriend from college. We're talking married with kids...iffy.

[@donpatterson4829]

Either that or she already did screw another guy

[@TheFiveHKAAV]

as has been said, I think she already cheated.My ex turned up the heat out of guilt and even suggested another chick... text book HO

[@ibrahimy7307]

+Thomas Robinson makes sense, never thought about that

[@BAWAkulkarni]

I feel stupid. I tried to think of the full form of HO. "Head office? wtf?"

[@sole__doubt]

" A lil' Boston Mocket! "

[@djtone66]

LOL!!!

[@dillonperna864]

A lil rotisserie

[@cesarherrera1926]

Beautiful

[@thetrimreaper1019]

Boston Maaahket not Mocket!! Come'on now!!

[@supermetroid009]

🤣🤣🤣

[@cadetcollins]

"It fuckin' paratroops down on your BALLBAG" I could be in the absolute worst mood in my life and that line would still make me burst out laughing.

[@yoyoyoletmehitdat]

"Love of my life Look at me Im OVVA HERE BANGIN!"

[@garymaccagnone3669]

I believe she's already had an affair and feels guilty. She is giving him this idea in order to make up for what she's done.

[@PrettiBOIPryor]

Yup

[@dennomuli]

spot on Gary Maccagnone

[@garymaccagnone3669]

Something wicked this way comes. They'll do anything to cover up their guilt.

[@bananian]

Omg, you think those children are all his?! Poor guy thinks he hit the jackpot with his wife. D:

[@garymaccagnone3669]

bananian Yes, she's a cheater.

[@djtone66]

7:02 Made me laugh out out at the office with tears in my eyes. My coworkers are looking at me like I'm crazy. That was some funny shit!!

[@Technoirz]

I have experienced this scenario with my own eyes, it’s a trap she cheated and feels guilty because you are probably a great men, and she feels so guilty for what’s she’s done, i wish the men in this email could give us feed back.

[@jonnym4670]

100%

[@maniac50ae14]

I've heard out of the mouth women who were cheating claim that it makes them a better wife and that it improved their enthusiasm towards sex with their husbands

[@maniac50ae14]

Did it happen to you or a friend?

[@Blessed.2.Teach.4God]

As a comic connoisseur, I'm compelled to say that Bill is w/o a doubt the most *naturally hilarious* person I've known!

[@oq17]

I find it amazing that of all the “experts” with their MDs and PhDS that I had spoken to and been treated by in my life, Bill burr - a comedian still gives me the best advice .

[@waddee30]

My ex suggested that I have sex with another woman. Something I never wanted. I think she wanted me to do that because there would be a legitimate reason to leave me. Ultimateley, she did the same thing she suggested. That's why she is my ex.

[@paudical]

"heeey, love of my life! look at me over heeeeere, i'm fucking BANGing!"

[@dtyd0194]

paudical I’m crying lol

[@dylankane9709]

“She wants a little Boston Maaaaaaarket”.

[@Sethrod8]

All I could think about was Admiral Akbar

[@Jokes_on_D]

Lol yes!!

[@thetrimreaper1019]

Duuuude!! Same here!!! "It's a TRAP!!"

[@michealwatts7469]

LOL Rotisserie action! A little Boston Market! Blasted me to the floor man.. dead

[@angellacanfora]

What doesn't make sense to me here, speaking as a woman, is that if she was into the idea of outside parties participating in sex w/them, he'd have known by now. I mean, they're married w/kids. So that leads me to believe she's either testing him, to see how into the idea he is, or, she has her foot out the door of the relationship and is using this as a way to wiggle out of it.

[@mr7wi]

I think the wife is having an affair and is engaging hubby with more/'adventurous' sex to compensate for her infidelity. It's kinda like hubby coming home with diamond earrings out of the blue...

[@letsgobrandon136]

DON'T DO IT! It's definitely a trap. She'll either want another dude later on and she'll guilt you into it OR she's already got the guy on the side and trying to relieve herself of guilt

[@joelcassin7486]

That's a 1000 years of therapy for the kids right there.

[@The_Gallowglass]

Fuckin' hell Bill. I fuckin' lost it. "She want's a little rotisserie action from Boston Market." I'm dying, crying and laughing all at once. Fuck you Bill. lol "It paratroops down on your ball bag" XD

[@zeldagoblin]

It was the image of herpes paratroopers jumping down onto a ball bag with little parachutes that did me

[@aikalabe7719]

"she wants to be the sexual equivalent of the guy going to the game with his face painted."

[@JohnDoe-fv9yd]

"Basically doing the same thing sexually as the guy who paints his face and goes to the game" LOLLLL i can't stop laughing

[@paulpincemin1242]

"You can't be walking around in the gimp costume and then your kids walk in" hahaha

[@someonesaidstfu]

"Your blood has to be pumped all the way down to the TIPPPPPPPY TOOOEEESSSSS." I lost it!

[@christianquintero5695]

“A little BOSTON MARKET”!! Lmao Bill Burr is the best comedian ever!

[@badazzmaro]

Don't agree to it unless you are ok watching another man take control of your wife's body. Because she will be asking for more guys. plain and simple.

[@Poxymonkeypox]

Patrice O'Neill etiquette right there.

[@7jc1rr9]

That's why I'll never have a threesome or bang another girl in front of my girl because I'm really sure that i couldn't take the reverse situation.

[@RetardedBatman]

This is one of my faves. the situation is really interesting, and bills answer is so logical. its as if nia came with an instruction manual and hes read it and knows exactly what women will do when certain buttons are pressed

[@pigeonoverlord9433]

Bill's insight into the follow-up situations to making such a bad decision is truly admirable.

[@mikeyneggs6873]

rotisserie action

[@tiffanyisingly9562]

Love your podcasts. Great instincts and insight into human nature.

[@thezingozman]

"Gator's bitches better be wearin jimmies!" priceless

[@wingnutmcspazatron3957]

if it's the love of your life you're dealing with, leave any and all other people out of your sex life. Man or Woman.

[@naturesociety817]

Laughed as all hell at "wear a different cologne", fuck you Bill!

[@BeeBumper]

Bringing another into the relationship, even in this way is a sure fire way to bring on future animosity. Hiring someone well that is off the table, and bringing in another, again you can't control her and what she may want in the next few months, so there are just too many variables. Tell this dude if he can juggle a half dozen objects literally at one time, then go for it, if not then leave it be.

[@MrROTD]

Bill is right I was in a similar situation and shit went south as soon as we brought another woman into the mix,.

[@chriscampbell8037]

Please ellaborate sir!?

[@johnkelly5156]

+chris campbell ditto

[@youssefrochdi1994]

duuude.. spill the beans

[@mysjackson88]

Who dafaq say things like this and leave us all hanging.

[@deezlesteezle]

The other "woman" turned out to BE a trap and he is too ashamed to elaborate.

[@aseempat3988]

this guy is so fucking smart.

[@Harregarre]

Choked on my food when he suggested and played out the blow-up doll option. _O-

[@verticalhorizon4633]

Sure, guy. And when she wants to reciprocate by having you watch her with another man (and the suggestion will come), you wouldn't have a leg to stand on against it.

[@seanmatthewking]

Sure you would. You talk about it all before hand. If she still wants to have you fuck another woman, even though you made it clear you wouldn’t be okay with her fucking other men, that’s on her. If she tries to guilt you into it anyway, you’ve married an extremely manipulative person.

[@RoyArrowood]

@@seanmatthewking That's a good plan. Also if she is trying to use it to downplay her own past cheating you may as well do the other broad then move on with your life

[@philorgneopolotin8762]

Sean Matthew King you’re waaaay too naive to see how manipulative people work. Only a moron would be like “yeah you see that thing?yeah I want it can I have it?”, anyone decently intelligent would play the old “you scratch my back I scratch yours”. No matter what she, or anyone else tells you, you have no idea what their true feelings or intentions are. Most likely this woman is either looking to hookup with another dude and wants a way in that isn’t cheating, OR she already cheated and she thinks this will help with the guilt if he ever finds out. Unless she’s in the like 1% of women that actually want to get off on watching her husband fuck another woman in front of her, she’s looking for something else. This isn’t some threesome where they hookup with someone together, it’s the husband solely having sex with a random woman, and there’s almost certainly an ulterior motive

[@rauliuxaa]

you could have an easy reason, she suggested to sleep with a girl, so that way it's was her wish, and you did that, i don't wish you to sleep with another man, so if she did that, that's cheating. Simple as that. Sure she might try and twist shit, but it is what it is.

[@ChickenPizza]

@@philorgneopolotin8762 100% agree with everything you said. There is absolutely an ulterior motive here, and it can't possibly be a good one no matter which way you look at it. These are waters best left uncharted.

[@pmiskovic]

On point and brilliant. Bill Burr is fucking tuned in.

[@johndoe-vo6wl]

"a little Boston market" epic!

[@GSDKXV]

What if she cheated already and her guilt is telling her to watch the same crime she committed

[@seanmatthewking]

If that’s the logic your wife is using, you’ve married the wrong person.

[@donpatterson4829]

@@seanmatthewking that's why 50% of marriages end in divorced. Half of married people married the wrong person and most of them didn't know its. So yeah, it's very possible she cheated and is balancing the scales or she wants to fuck another guy. It's also possible that she did something bad that had nothing to do with sex and is try to even the score. It's also very possible it's just one of her fantasies. I had a friend that used to like to watch other guys fuck his girlfriend and he didn't cheat first

[@Bobman-ml5qf]

This situation reminds me of "The Switch" on Seinfeld, "I can't do it. I'm not am orgy guy."

[@djuraster]

its a trap!

[@loganmaddocks4703]

"I show up to the gym, people know what I do." 😂😂😂

[@Rivracost3]

my parents knew this couple that were swingers after the kids left the house. They got divorced not two years after becoming swingers. Could be that it was over and that was just a failed attempt to save the marriage but yeah relationships are already so complex why make it harder?

[@maniac50ae14]

Yeah, swinging isn't something that you just get into, most who "try it" will wreck their relationships. It's something couples have to go into a relationship already with. And ploy types seem to be unstable individuals

[@jdx4174]

I want to hear the aftermath as well. That's almost more interesting then the starting point

[@mmb2211]

i'm dyiiiing here...laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Almost having a heart attack!! Genius!

[@swamp9136]

"It paratroops down onto your ball bag." LOLOLZ

[@danielbrown1724]

She wants a little rotisserie action 🤣🤣

[@EMAN-tx7lp]

2:27 I like how he says that

[@JavonAnonimni]

To find the lawyer willing to do such acts you just write up a formal letter of inquiry and send it to every law firm in radius of 30 miles along with your name.

[@RashtaEinthisB]

7:05 YOURE KILLIN ME BILL HAHA

[@loppylopy]

DO IT, DO IT, FUCKING DO IT

[@Scummydickdouglas]

“He put it in the table!” 😂😂 at the end, that’s one of his bits

[@EvanFilm]

what if the women films it as proof of adultery

[@briankelly8697]

she probably will

[@JRettMTX]

She would have to reveal she filmed it under the pretense of her being cool w it

[@DrummermanRoque007]

The first thing I heard in my head was Gen. Akkbarr from "Return of the Jedi" saying "IT'S A TRAP !!!!."

[@rashadginn8768]

Rub one out. It's the champagne of victory

[@crs092]

“I show up to the gym, people know what I do. I got one mid range jumper”

[@MetalBacon64]

"Neat-o" LMFAO!

[@ashleymenzies6650]

This is the best podcast I have ever heard XD great advice though top man

[@peteranon8455]

That's a good wife right there. If a good wife slips up, or wants to, she'll go you to do something like this to be even.

[@IrishAndroid]

Very eye-opening story. Thank you for sharing. This makes a lot of sense.

[@roycearandolph]

It paratroops down onto ya ball baaag 😂😂😂

[@skottyo]

Admiral Ackbar : "IT'S A TRAP"!!!

[@bigh7972]

She wants a little Boston Market. Billy bag of doughnuts that line is one for the ages.

[@dre857]

lol at the blow up doll and the paper sound effect

[@ShadowAkatora]

You can't un-bang. Some things can't be undone, and you have to live with that decision for a long time, you know.

[@solidkingcobra]

ROTISSERIE ACTION!

[@solidkingcobra]

BOSTON MAAAHKET!

[@tiffanyisingly9562]

She probably has a man in mind already to invite. Also, your laugh reminds me of Chuckie! It's great!

[@thedavecorp]

"[Gasp] You CHEATED on me!"

[@mehbobotorp2373]

I love how the capillary bit later became part of his stand up act :D

[@ews0330]

"a little boston mahhhket!" could that have been any more perfect?

[@sarahlauren5643]

The Boston Market gets me every time 🤣

[@breebennet897]

Love ya Billy

[@musicaccount3340]

Even if she doesn't want to have sex with another guy, and this is just a phantasy, you can't predict her reaction. I can easily imagine her going silent for a week and then suggesting a divorce because she can't look at you anymore.

[@ReBeccaRosebud9]

Brilliant!

[@duberdurm]

That sounds like some Gone Girl shit.

[@deanedwards198]

It paratroops down to your ballbag! 😂

[@kazuhira_miller]

I can't stop laughing

[@roo7227]

Yeah, I had a glorious 3some many years ago, that broke up a very promising relationship.. lol.. It was kinda dreamlike, cause I was asleep and awoken by my girl and her friend.. I have often wondered, over the years how the conversation got started while I was passed out, and they were having fun in the living room (it was during the holidays, between Christmas and New Year's).. How far did they go without me???.. I'll never know, but it's fun to wonder.. ;) Ahh, good times, but definitely a trap.. Bill's right, it's better to leave some doors unopened..

[@fooster101]

3 minutes in and this is the funniest shit ever !!!

[@litterbox2836]

At 7mins though about the blow up doll hahaha

[@rnempson1]

Good advise

[@thewalrus12]

Bill is spot on here

[@ChillAssTurtle]

dude is living the fucking dream

[@OutdatedLeon]

Rule of Thumb: Always trust your gut. So yeah. This is a trap.

[@hadescerberus8633]

most defo a trap

[@dboll208]

Congrats Billy boy

[@raptorms773]

You should take calls, during these podcast

[@randomvideoproductionco.9146]

“That was real neato”

[@ryanboscoe9670]

I'm drunk and I know. DONT FUCKING DO IT!

[@AndyHoward]

the pipes are calling.....

[@jaybootidawg5167]

he's the new howard stern!

[@groundbreaktv6935]

minus Robin, so even better!

[@michaelstrickland8012]

Boston MAHKET!

[@forrestthroughdatrees]

Rotisserie action 😂

[@SuperWeedPower]

12:26 oh god this scence

[@danielmiller1401]

Boston Market, LMAO!!