Bill Burr - Advice: Wife Left

/ themmpodcast and billburr.com/ and www.allthingscomedy.com/ . Email Bill at -- [e-mail]

[@bwc3821]

I love how half these videos is Bill trying to figure out just what the fuck these people are saying.

[@sanjeetsingh3854]

+bwc3821 That's half the comedy.

[@AmeenAhmed1105]

The other half are dumbasses like this dude not proofreading their emails before hitting "send."

[@arzee91]

Honestly, I've been through dozens of Bill's stuff.. and while some people really write horribly.. its hard not to notice that our awesome comedian does have some sort of reading problem. I do like his material.. but jesus.. if its that big of a deal, read it beforehand xD

[@GearsDemon]

He married her after she cheated on him 5 times? And then an additional 3 during the marrriage??? WHAT. Im pretty sure i would be gone after 1 time. At any point.

[@bananian]

Does that even count as cheating at that point? More like an open-book relationship.

[@63Baggies]

GearsDemon It may sound a little harsh; but you get exactly what you deserved when you do something like this; after all the woman was actually telling him that she was a habitual cheater and likes men too much to be monogamous.

[@aluapzurc2]

+GearsDemon 4:51 You can tell this dude is way too attached to her, he probably fell in love with the first hoe that gave him attention and now hes paying for it. Guys need to stop falling in love with bitches.

[@federicobejarano3043]

+GearsDemon I know, right? it never happened to me, but if a woman cheated on me, I would not even tell her I'm breaking up. I would simply disappear.

[@tetdgjk]

+Federico Bejarano You'd just Lord Lucan her ass? Dat's cold, brah.

[@rubbersole79]

The "pre-emptive move out" is good strategy. That way if she kills you, they'll have some clue as to why.

[@LolFishFail]

Here's a good policy for life that would avoid this shit, say these words. "If you ever cheat, we're over, no second chances." - No matter how harsh it sounds, you need to be firm and clear.

[@FuckGoogle2]

Do you have to even tell people this? It's understood, if they don't get it it's too stupid a person to keep around.

[@junior5146]

Well there are many women that I've dated who thinks its totally okay doing flakey shit like going on a vacation with a "guy friend" or some shit like that. Safe to say that ended pretty quickly.

[@rauliuxaa]

Don't do that, because when they do that they will try to hide that shit, don't talk about cheating at all, it's better if she believes you can forgives and opens up about that , so you can leave, rather than her trying to hide as much as possilbe

[@rjones6801]

He's so right in the end. You scare them away when you give a fuck. The best way to pick up girls is to not give a fuck. It took me 19 years to figure that out. Then once you're in the relationship you have to start giving a fuck or else they're out.

[@why-mope]

his poor grammar, word choice, and punctuation choice correlates his poor life choice. This is no coincidence

[@Brandon-vy6uw]

Or hes crying trying to write it lol

[@seano93]

+Įncognîto S Damn , that's cold breh..

[@nanayawberko3212]

Bro can you be a bigger asshole

[@Rkenichi]

nana yaw berko why is that a surprise? You think that after being cheated on EIGHT times, he doesn’t have a screw loose?

[@supersaiyanzero386]

Probably a drunk write. He's probably devastated and drinking like hell.

[@TheSteelStallion]

I love how this letter reads more like a suicide note that's trying way too hard to be poetic. Bill struggling to read it is hilarious.

[@danieldinh9911]

couldn't stop laughing at bill

[@ShadowCraft1195]

Bill struggles to read every 📃. I love it

[@ohthatsgengi1062]

@@danieldinh9911 I npn

[@mirellalastar]

Great advice! He keeps it real. It was my first experience with Bill Burr, now I am addicted.

[@theMondayMorningPodcastClips]

+Cantatrice Chauve Awesome!

[@mrpossibilities]

I fucking love whenever Bill is having a hard time reading a letter (whether because of him or because the letter is poorly written) I would kill for a compilation of all the moments Bill struggles to read a letter.

[@Michael.Virtus]

The thing is this guy have been 8-9 years with her, but she have not been with him. She have been with many other guys also. Like a female harem. There should be Zero Tolerance Policy for cheating. You cheat on me once - it's over right there. Because it's not about the sexual intercourse, but it's about the principle.

[@smidget5843]

its about trust. once that trust is gone then you couldn't trust her with anything.

[@kylecoucke943]

It’s about the sex too. U think I’m gonna wanna eat that nasty twat if other dudes have been fucking it? Nah

[@jurv10]

You patience is astounding. After reading “cheated on 8 times” i would just blow the hell up.

[@scottwave1131]

"go to the gym, hit it like a fuckin madman" lol

[@ConspiciousCultist]

This is why you pay attention in grammar school.

[@permazero]

Booksarefun666 right -interesting how many people don't/can't proof read their work.

[@warrennelsom4859]

I'm a grammar nazi, it kills me.

[@cne6032]

It’s prolly his second language, remember that he gets emails from everywhere

[@yoanhendriklimah1621]

Psycho One definitely not a second language problem. This kind of letter can only come from a native speaker who doesnt know how to write with punctuation. If english is the second language, they wont be saying all these andy dufresne and all those pop culture references just to make a point

[@3DReactor]

girl was even more mad cuz she couldnt tear his shits up

[@TV-Tony]

He says to get to the gym and eat better a lot. Not really his answer to everything, but it's good advice and a good start.

[@theinnersleeves3871]

TVfanatic342 bill’s hitting the gym is like Dr.Drew saying to every caller that he/she needs treatment

[@bingbashbosh1]

I find it so hard to feel bad for this guy..

[@joenichols3901]

Start making your bed in the morning. Then start organizing all the other chaos in your life; social circle, spirituality, religion, health, Financials, family, etc. Starts with making your bed. Ends with a life worth living

[@MrDlt123]

Left my wife wife after she pulled that BS once (that I kmow of). She said I'd regret it. Years later, her friends are telling me that she's the one with all the regret. She knows she f'd up. -Not saying you should leave someone when they do that. That's your choice. I'm saying life is too short for bullshit.

[@smokebreak3439]

Bill Burr could be a life coach, he's always fucking real

[@nonyabusiness5607]

In regards to Bills story about his friend. That’s such a pussy move. I had that happen to me and when you’re with someone and it’s serious and they just bail you get stuck with all your consolidated debt. She left and I almost lost my house because I wasn’t equipped to deal with the bills by myself. Thank goodness I have a great family that was willing to help me out until I got back on my feet. Coming home to an empty home. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone

[@AndyHoward]

5:12 BBur.exe stopped working.

[@markb7595]

Full Andy Dufresne...? She broke out of prison and helped you make a boat?

[@Tykkeable]

Lul

[@alexanderkelly7819]

Hahahaahah

[@andreavenaa]

I feel compelled to reply because i’ve had the same image forever and I hope this poor dude in the video is doing better now

[@riblets1968]

Tough love from Bill and he's absolutely right. And it's never too late to work on yourself; there's no age limit.

[@aKidNamedBeebee]

jesus christ it was hard to listen to him just struggle through this one

[@fractalspace1111]

The major thing is don't let people walk all over you. Don't hold stuff back. I used to hold things back and not say shit I felt. As I grow older the more I confront people and they never say shit to me because I only confront people when I know they are wronging me. A liar or a thief is the biggest coward you will ever face. Don't be afraid to tell them the truth. You want to set people like that straight because they have gotten away with too much shit to be to the point they are at.

[@fernanditonh5994]

Simon Keel it's a type of unfairness to both parties involved. You always, whether you admit or not, build some sort of resentment towards the other person. It's not like they can do anything about it because you're not telling them what you're upset about.

[@formusicplaylist1]

how the fuck does this guy do an hour podcast every week, do interviews, do stand up regularly, release specials on a steady basis and be funny 100% of the time? bill burr is a legend in the making.

[@8SLAiN8]

Bill's laugh reminds me of Chucky's laugh from Child's Play haha. So maniacal yet great at the same time.

[@irregularmana6216]

lol my ex did the same, signed a lease, packed some stuff, and just told me its over. 5 years down the drain it's funny now, but damn was I pisses 😂

[@theresabollman8061]

The guy's only mistake was coming back to tell her. He should have just saved himself the headache.

[@lauriejamesmackeson]

theresa bollman To a "capable man", it would have been "icing on the cake."

[@dcanaday]

I had to do something like this with my first wife. I moved all my stuff out while she was at work. I knew if I told her earlier, she would have harassed me while I tried to move my stuff out. It would have been impossible.

[@hardluck8732]

Chad Vader If you think about it why is it so bad to do it that way? I mean if it's over it's over. Why drag things along? I think they just hate it if you are leaving them. Women will leave you with a boyfriend already ready to go. What is the problem with just ending it. What the hell is "Closure" anyway? When they feel it's good for them to end it?

[@danielbrown1724]

I love that Bill gives such great advice by throwing out some tough love on this one. I’d like to find out what this bloke is doing now. Hopefully he gained some self-confidence and isn’t letting some other broad walk all over him 🤘🥰

[@thedavecorp]

"Bon Voyage babe."

[@tscottme]

You know how your woman accuses you of comparing her to any hottie you see. When you see the hottie your woman is the LAST thing on your mind. She makes that charge because SHE is constantly comparing you to other men. Women are always on the lookout for a bigger, better, deal. If she thinks she can do better, she will leave.

[@sunsty1e]

"he side-stepped all of that" Classic...

[@ramone2185]

Dude. This is what you do, cause I USED to have very low self-confidence, and it sounds like you do too. Start getting fit. Working out, and eating right. My confidence is through the roof now! I have to "lower myself" around certain people now, cause they're pretty much nothing.

[@drtyslzy]

Bill struggling on a new level with this one hahaha

[@tonyhern2647]

hahaha when i left my cheating wife i waiting till she was out at the store loaded my clothes one of the tvs and svd players and left.

[@raptorms773]

It's just the feeling of betrayal, and coming out of nowhere

[@samkerr1826]

Listening to him reading was amazing. Fucking love that he just snaps and brings the ol reliable, "get to the fucking gym"

[@Lordparable]

bill= life coach

[@ponder2006]

This is gold!

[@sno0p3r]

He is 26 and he said texting didn't exist the last time he was single wtf? ROFL

[@alabull860]

I guess the reason I like Bill Burr videos is they are the kind of videos where you hear the title read in the first line of the video, unlike a lot of KZbin

[@orlandogastelum1539]

I feel this guy but dude. U gotta cheer the fuck up

[@moflyboyblanquito541]

Good advice bro

[@thedavecorp]

Of Course she flipped, women don't have the practice getting rejected like we do.

[@Specizzle]

It's all about how you approach girls, little man. I'm 5'5 and JEWISH and I don't have a problem.

[@jesseolson5705]

Now you know what you don't want!! There's the icing on the cake!!

[@richardmiller3922]

Love the William H Macey bit!

[@FredDaImpaler]

Bill is the real PUA... no gimmicks just straight to the point

[@johnnyblazem5326]

I would be jumping for joy if my wife left

[@noodles41]

hahahaha!

[@nicholasalti3479]

then divorce her and quit bitching

[@P9rkour90]

Johnny Blazem MGTOW

[@annabellavetra]

then divorce her and quit bitching ²

[@martymcfly88mph35]

Cenk buffalo

[@sebring1960]

Sad, a 26 year old man who can't even write....

[@atrain132]

Or a man who stays with a filthy whore who has cheated on him 8 times.

[@TheSands83]

It’s bill can’t read

[@traviscoates6878]

"Texting didn't exist last time I was single." Did he get married when he was 3?

[@Blessed.2.Teach.4God]

Wondering why nobody else caught that mathematical error.

[@KingNirada]

He should be 34 now, so before this would have been 2003 and and that was just before the Internet and mobile phone boom.

[@heiveldboy]

Despite being a man I personally can't understand this mindset. Why stay with someone despite you knowing they're messing around with you? Is being alone so bad for you that you're willing to destroy your entire life? Last I checked more and more men AND women are living alone and most of them have no problem with it.

[@supersaiyanzero386]

"Go to the gym" lol it's kinda true

[@tarmachan1]

Bill, your friend did it the right way! My ex-wife promised to leave for years yet continued to scrounge off me doing only what she wanted. One day I just changed the locks and kept our daughter with me. Possession of child = 9/10ths of the law. Years later I won and raised my daughter better alone. Don't let false honour get in your way - stay in the house and ditch her - and you're in a better position in court. Good advice from you by the way!

[@ProblemOfficer3000]

"""""wine tasting""""""

[@zmotoalarm]

Buy her a fucking foldable shovel for her birthday get a bottle of wine with two glasses and go out to the woods, and the rest I'll leave it to you. Lol

[@yoyoyoletmehitdat]

This guy needs to take a writing class holy shit

[@shhhhhhQQ]

"Take a fucking cooking class"

[@arielshikoba1857]

DAMN YOU FOR REVEALING THE ENDING TO "Boogie Nights" 😒

[@aquious953]

its all goddamn true, Bill!

[@Montoya1991]

Love the old burr

[@lukemurphy6244]

Just watched boogie nights and then this haha

[@marzwoody]

lol nice

[@verticalhorizon4633]

Perfect; give her no option to react while you're still there.

[@63Baggies]

Sage advice.

[@SuperAndo64]

The gym advice is so fucking true, no such thing as depression when your in great shape and eating well. All the shit that sucks about being depressed, low-self esteem, low energy, spending too much time alone, over-thinking every decision etc. gets blasted away when you work out like a madman as he puts it. If you're feeling like this guy I recommend you get on it immediately and never look back.

[@tracystephens5014]

Burr is giving some sound advice here...to a fuckin MARY!! Whataya!?..a fuckin Maaaaary!!

[@merrychristmas1022]

thats the exact way.

[@MDizzle3282]

Sounds like a friend of mine. We were friends for 15 years. We were in a band, he was the drummer. He started going out with this chick that constantly cheated on him, then married her... None of us liked her , and we told him how we felt. "Love is blind man!" He would say. I said, " I don't doubt that you love her, but SHE does not love YOU!" I had to walk away because he kept taking her back and we wouldn't hear from him until she had left him again...I couldn't watch him live in despair and a filthy house that was rotting all around him (literally)...

[@christopherharvey5693]

Your friend that moved out is a genius lol

[@fionayamamoto]

Lmaooo

[@spiloFTW]

smart guy! he didnt give her a chance to brake his staff

[@ramone2185]

She cheated 8 f'n times?! Wooooooooooow. The fact that he always takes her back must've made her loose A LOT of respect for him. Pretty sure that's why she's leaving him.

[@robertclifton5795]

The Burrlylama has spoken .....

[@galindoof]

This should have been named Bill Burr - Has a Hard Time Reading

[@ishmael802]

The guy should not have tolerated a cheater

[@rey_nemaattori]

And what does he mean, 'last time i was single texting didn't exist'? We've been able to text each other since 1993 ffs, that's 20 years(at the point of uploading), what century is this guy from xD

[@Bubba2Guns]

Happened to me by a girlfriend. Man, was I relieved.

[@IDontTalkToCops]

No kids involved. When there are kids you're fucked. They hold all the cards.

[@1y9b9b]

3:43 ha

[@jmisc]

She was sorry for that guy, messianic complex but has her heart somewhere else.

[@Hammerite]

Bill has a point with the not giving a shit thing. I was single for 7 years and took rejection way to serious. After i got told i was trying to hard i stopped going out to find a girl and just went to have fun. In a year i had a relationship with a cunt of a woman but after that i met a great woman and we've been together for 10 years.

[@sloanmagnum5009]

This guy has deep rooted issues. Hes scared of being abandoned or left. His mom died and if they were close then this guy needs actual therapy from a licensed professional. I've seen this type. It's sad. I feel bad for them.

[@Fyrecide]

By the way this dude wrote that email, he sounds like he's a frequent submission on r/iamverysmart

[@TheSoldadoDan]

How do you get cheated on 7 times and be like "I'll give you ONE more chance cause i know you didn't mean to get fucked"

[@chessaudiobooks3079]

Join a Chess Club !

[@0INFERNO1]

My ex was a complete psycho and when I broke up with her, I did it through text message. If I had done it face to face, I would have ended up in the hospital or under arrest (Because she would have called the police and lied to them about me hitting her or some other such shit). I wanted to be as far away from her as possible when I broke up with her. I don't need the drama or false arrest.

[@insonh21]

that's not "one way to do it" that's the only way to do it......he should have left her the note "dear baby, welcome to dumpsville, population YOU"

[@Justen1980]

Burr has more echo than a Doors song

[@ConsoleWars]

cheated on him 8 times? dayum!

[@gustavofring8765]

Yah

[@YourBeingParanoid]

I remember the day I came home and told my wife I was gay.

[@stvia]

StripperTipper-405 He thought she was a man and didn't want to have Sex till marriage. So on the night after the marriage he realized "FUCK she doesn't have a DICK!? "

[@kevingatdula]

Poor Billy is having such a hard time reading this one.

[@RST_101]

Why is she still alive? After cheating 10 times!!!

[@thevelointhevale1132]

Yeah man ... 60 reps of dumb curls on each arm solves your issues!

[@natashagasper4740]

Back from the dead

[@littlehammerman]

I'm going to wade in for a second: only got to the gym and do that nutritionist stuff if you really really want to. Don't do it so you can tap slightly better girls, cause them you'll just feel trapped and rather than being a nice catharsis it'll be a chore, and your good body will seem like this sick thing that you're dependent on and could fade at any moment unless you do this chore. I'm 22, pretty skinny, and I'm not banging 8/9/10's, but there's nothing wrong with a little sprinkling of 6/7s, especially when I'm a lot happier. Do a bit of six a side instead if you want some exercise.

[@zeldagoblin]

I like your style, Joe

[@shyy87]

If this woman is a sociopathic narcissist like i suspect she is then she was already hammering away at his self-esteem from the beginning of the relationship. 8 years of that shit will leave you paralyzed with anxiety and fear of being alone. I hope he's gotten help since then....

[@computerblue1271]

Self loathing in a tin-can right here.