Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine

[@franzhaas6889]

ALL JOKING ASIDE. THIS WAS A FINE PERFORMANCE.

[@ianrushsmoustache2282]

Franz Haas that just what i was thinking

[@Neo2266.]

What performance? The Onion is the one trustworthy news source

[@KingoftheJuice18]

Sure was!

[@noodlesoup5995]

Not really. Instead of just repeating certain words or phrases it would have been more realistic if it came out more of a stutter than a random fixation

[@ScrumpyD]

Lmao nice joke

[@colortracks1430]

How does the Onion find these unknown actors who have more talent than many of the people at Hollywood

[@anameyoucantremember]

John Cariani is a Tony award winning actor.

[@johndoeseph115]

we have the same profile picture and it startled me

[@BlisaBLisa]

@@johndoeseph115 garf gang

[@saintburnsy2468]

@@BlisaBLisa garf gang 4 lyfe yeeyee Oh shidd

[@jaffil4026]

Because they arent acting

[@SuperKonjac]

Man this interviewer is a good actor

[@VineFynn]

Suppose it depends what sort of autistic person they were going for, but yeah, he's pretty bloody good.

[@oO_ox_O]

+VineFynn Of course it's just an amalgamation of stereotypes but what's amazing is how natural he seems to be at it.

[@gerunkwon2598]

because that's John Edward Cariani, an award-winning actor and an accomplished playwright.

[@yukanakochi1024]

The guy who he's interviewing is also terrific. It felt really natural.

[@ryandavis568]

How he is talking makes me think of will ferrells role in elf for some reason lol

[@alfyc6970]

Stimming, echolalalia, desire for routine, hyperfixition, rambling. This character is a better example of autism than some serious TV dramas. Fair play to the onion.

[@shilombaba]

If you're interested, and even tho it is not described as so, the movie "Punch Drunk Love" is also a formidable depiction of autism (trust me, I could almost entirely relate)

[@YRO.]

The good doctor looks a lot like this

[@johansmith4764]

True but one of the best examples is Sheldon Cooper in "The big bang theory!" When they wrote the character they did not think of autism but with pure chance it became spot on autism! Sheldon Cooper is the very definition of autism! He is autism personified. He IS autism!

[@shilombaba]

@@johansmith4764 I would disagree. Autism is nothing but a basket in which "a range" of symptoms are put into :) There is not ONE autist for me. For exemple, I'm asperger, and I can relate to Adam Sandler in PDL very easily, when Sheldon seems like a gross caricature of some of my "things".

[@n0denz]

More like echoLOLia.

[@crowmollymedia6480]

"Can you stack your family?" has occupied my mind for the last week.

[@stephenharrington1977]

Shakespeare don't have shit on these writers

[@SimBits]

I'm crying that part was so funny

[@jkta97]

@@stephenharrington1977 "How can we stacketh all our families?"

[@potatoboy6094]

It’s stupid, yet at the same time it’s genius, and if it’s genius it’s not stupid

[@leonro]

stacking them shouldn't be too hard if they're either dead or in a deep sleep, but stacking conscious people can be quite difficult if they're not willing to cooperate. But boxes are the easiest to stack.

[@EVILWWE]

The acting of the prisoner is also absolutely on point and I’d hate for anybody to miss that

[@robertnicholls9917]

He's actually good, even his uncomfortable, empathetic and confused reaction to the reporter.

[@WeeWeeJumbo]

So glad somebody mentioned this

[@TahtahmesDiary]

Him talking about his family so seriously and the other guy not getting it was perfection!

[@greggeverman5578]

I said the same.

[@jaredf6205]

I’d swear it’s a real interview, he’s that good.

[@seananderson5334]

He's counting the ceiling tiles before the interview begins lol.

[@JesusChrist-md3yu]

This was so well spotted. Your comment deserves way more likes.

[@benjaminwiner6220]

Lol

[@josephassiryani9174]

Lmfao nice attention to detail on your part and onions

[@Uhoh11111]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pJCpqGBjhrSpa68

[@billcutting1299]

Good God he is!

[@cymikgaming1266]

12 years after, this explains autism clearer than all the therapists i have seen

[@learningomorisoundtrack3979]

I mean autism can look like a lot of different things and this is a very extreme, kinda ableist depiction

[@mazarine_44]

@@learningomorisoundtrack3979 what’s really autistic is you complaining about a sardonic, fake interview featuring paid actors from 12 years ago, and then liking your own comment 😂

[@Cazu_Orddu_Medea]

​​@@learningomorisoundtrack3979 it is different for all, but there are also autistics like him too. This is still great to see all his stimming and excitement and realize you are living theough the same thing but milder. Is it sterotypical? Yes, in a way. Is it ableist? Hell no, this is genuine. Much better than Sheldon Cooper, Good Doctor or Rain Man

[@learningomorisoundtrack3979]

@@Cazu_Orddu_Medea Sheldon Cooper, Good Doctor, and Rainman suck. I'm not taking anything you say seriously because you just called us, "autistics," rather than autistic people. Fuck off.

[@MrMelonsz]

@@Cazu_Orddu_MedeaI didn’t even know Sheldon Cooper was meant to be autistic lol I always thought he was just odd

[@VazzyCow]

*I can not see you Brooke, I can only hear you*

[@LarryTL]

...right.

[@TheRojo387]

What an idiot!

[@ryann6230]

Words of a god

[@immortalsun]

I watched the video, too.

[@MyoticTesseract]

Dimentive I cannot see the video, I can only hear it.

[@Ironmaniacs7]

"There's barely any human contact, a-" *"How do I live here?"* Dead

[@yasmineghriss2247]

We have the same profile picture

[@michaelchilds7853]

Now kiss

[@rockpapercesar6841]

"Dead". Just like the cashier he's about to meet😂

[@Starmadien2019]

Stab a guy.

[@sterlingsilver5937]

💯

[@aleshaford2968]

It cracks me up how his eyes light up when the prisoner says every second of his day is accounted for.

[@sknnyd2676]

An incredibly nuanced performance. He must have done a lot of preparative research for this which is crazy for a 2 minute skit. But he knocked it out of the park.

[@quickstep2408]

that's when it gets really good haha. superb acting

[@jjava.bean5]

the part that warms my heart is when he says I LIKE STACK. and the prisoner smiles, "you do?"

[@knotshure8806]

Do you have to make the lines straight ?

[@SyzygyNoon]

@@knotshure8806 A 5% variability plus-or-minus center is within acceptable tolerances. Watch out for slivers and protruding nails - they’re usually rusty. Lift from the knees with ease, not with the back. Rinse and repeat in any given situation.

[@LootFragg]

Cashier: "Well, you're not allowed to kill me." M. Falk: "Why not?" Cashier: "Cause it's against the law. You'd be breaking the rules." M. Falk: "I don't want to break the rules." Cashier: "It would be really messy, too. Look how neatly everything is stacked here. Imagine that in disarray." M. Falk: "Oh no!" Cashier: "And think of the amount of eye contact the investigators would force you to make." M. Falk: _collapses_

[@gurrrn1102]

I read that in Ryan George’s voice

[@ShinySephiroth2]

​@@gurrrn1102And now I did, too 😂

[@abrianpeak95]

​@@gurrrn1102 "They're gonna put you in a room!"

[@angelinapalkovic1986]

​@@abrianpeak95it would be barely an inconvenience

[@MrWooaa]

Wow wow wow, wow. @@gurrrn1102

[@ChelBel17]

“I cannot see you, Brooke. I can only hear you.” This video had me at the first 10 seconds.

[@missundies]

A couple of seconds for me until I saw the onion logo, it was a great couple of seconds 😂

[@venahtmusic]

Even the heavy breath after her response was brilliant.

[@elvis316]

Closed strong with "make sure the cashier is dead'', too.

[@Opawesum]

"Right..."

[@initialcreation]

It had me at "Autistic reporter..."

[@held1599]

My favourite thing is how nice the prisoner is being to the reporter. It's quite endearing. Edit: I know it's satire. I still find it very sweet.

[@hazyanlazy123]

Helyati Mohamad I know, they always find the best, it’s almost to good like it’s acting but... that’s why I love the onion.😌😌😌

[@thenamedoesnotmatter]

Watch the After Prison Show, people in prison have their own unique culture.

[@hazyanlazy123]

thenamedoesnotmatter it’s fake. And Il check it out.

[@gezzapk]

Yeah he didn't even stack him

[@beauw9454]

I like this comment! It's now my favourite part of the video too :P

[@nikoskabbadias]

"-hardly any human contact... -HOW DO I GET TO LIVE HERE" ...I felt that

[@azalkathegunpowderdragon9439]

I feel attacked

[@jillvalentinefan77]

I felt that into the grave.

[@slyceth]

you didnt its a video tarsd

[@shadowartist8892]

Hell is other people....Sartre.

[@enklaev1933]

Wow edge

[@mnmlst1]

I love how he plays with the chair holding his excitement as much as he can. I'm autistic and everything about it is so relatable. I'd love to wear the same clothes everyday, have a strict routine, everything predictable.

[@marshall8787]

That is one of the few things I miss about the military....never have to decide what to wear.

[@gabevietor3685]

You know, I always find that stuff funny. I just grab whatever clothes I put at the top before and wear them for the day. I don't plan any part of my day, because I hate when things don't go perfectly, so if I don't plan, everything is perfect then, eh? But yeah, never caught the understanding that knowing what to wear was taxing or difficult.

[@enricobianchi4499]

​@@gabevietor3685 luxury of being a guy

[@gabevietor3685]

@@enricobianchi4499 Guess so.

[@theartofwanderlust]

@@enricobianchi4499 women can wear a uniform as well

[@dikeledimusi3871]

This dude deserves multiple Oscars... So he can stack them.

[@zgoosekeeper]

Hahaha 😆

[@forcesightknight]

Clutter, get rid of it.

[@Evan_Meyer]

Put them in straight lines

[@forcesightknight]

@@Evan_Meyer but they are Asymmetrical and therefore considered clutter by my standards. Autism manifests different for all of us.

[@Uhoh11111]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pJCpqGBjhrSpa68

[@da40128]

"Can you stack your family?" This is the question we should all ask ourselves.

[@wenchology]

If my family doesn’t stack I’m trading them in

[@benjireil4243]

no they dont stay still

[@da40128]

@@benjireil4243 easy choice then

[@LuizAlexPhoenix]

I ask myself that all day long.

[@yueshijoorya601]

Yes, it's called cheerleading.

[@fiveish77]

Rigid routine? What is the rigid routine? *autism intensifies*

[@johnny.V03]

“Make sure the cashier is dead.”

[@papajavaleri]

I think this is the only comment where "intensifies" was used as a meme and also correctly. It actually makes sense instead of being a dumb phrase. Good job :V

[@dasgermanskiguy6028]

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen today

[@kiranaun9593]

"Can you stack your family" continues to be the hardest line in reporting in the past 12 years

[@alsoknownas875]

For those curious, this actor's name is *John Cariani.*

[@goldengod5915]

Oh damn, this guy has actually acted in some pretty big things. I've done some research on other recurring Onion characters, and a lot of them have next to nothing when it comes to acting roles in higher caliber things.

[@deemueller6470]

I had to go look him up! I thought he looked familiar. Law and Order as the ME. This guy has has been on and off Broadway as well as writing award winning plays- very talented indeed. He apparently did this after he was well known. I saw Stiller was in an onion video the other day "shaken man child". It was after he became well known too. Maybe the onion pays well or the artist was up for off the wall fun?

[@jamie150741]

@@goldengod5915 have you looked up Brooke Alvarez actress Suzanne Sena ?

[@migg-e]

I thought it was Ben Shapiro

[@TheCJRhodes]

@@deemueller6470 I think for some comedians, because The Onion has been around so long as a publication and has had so much influence on modern American satire, they probably did it for fun. I'm sure the paychecks from The Onion are pretty damn small, but they garner a lot of great writers.

[@naimvelasquez6079]

Prompt: he spends years planning increasingly stupid heists in order to get sent to prison, fails to get caught everytime and now he's the most succesfull and frustrated gang leader worldwide

[@eidolor]

Holy shit that’s brilliant

[@naimvelasquez6079]

@@eidolor thank you i am quite dumb with some good days

[@eidolor]

My brain is also square, but if this was anything to go by then you must have a lot to be proud of

[@naimvelasquez6079]

@@eidolor oh my god for real? If this turns into a movie in a crazy timeline, i'm putting you in the credits lmao

[@eidolor]

@@naimvelasquez6079 if you make it a movie, I’ll be cheering for you so hard my skirt falls off

[@asajjy]

"Make sure the cashier is Dead" Truly words to live by

[@tonythetiger9839]

@Bigfoot that's someone's family man...

[@brownfire1]

im literally over here laughing at your comment, the murder is not funny at all just hearing that right as the video ends LMFAO

[@masterpuni7371]

@Bigfoot cashier in America maybe zombies but other countries it can be thot

[@ThumbsHunter]

yes, robbery only might get you nowhere, the cashier needs to die to make it into prison.

[@raprot7829]

@@masterpuni7371 lmao yeah Dio, *what is thot?*

[@FairyFacer]

My ten year old son is autistic and I love this so much. He is so funny and such a joy to be around, but so blunt and makes me question so much about what I know to be ‘the norm’ every day. This is such a great portrayal, I just love this actor so much ❤

[@dan-gy4vu]

I love how the prisoner is actually kind and understanding lmao.

[@oliverjohn5566]

That is Westchester values right there!

[@Kushufy]

Well, yeah, he is a normal person only in there for fraud and embezzlement.

[@parry3439]

most prisoners aren't there for violent crimes. they're normal people who may or may not have paid the government the mafia dues they want lmao

[@aboomination897]

@@Kushufy what's a normal person

[@Itzaric]

@@aboomination897 someone that (at least superficially) takes part of the common social and economic order of capitalism

[@moonsaer]

"There's no human contact here" "HOW DO I LIVE HERE? HOW DO I LIVE IN PRISON" Best part

[@Luckzo]

This is what people who work in retail think about

[@lockerbuddy2039]

"I wanna see my family" "WHY?"

[@imnotnotgameiacmaniac5327]

can you stack your family? is the best part

[@capncake8837]

“Make sure the cashier is dead!”

[@ob2kenobi388]

As a person with autism, I really see parts of myself in Michael. (Before reading, please keep in mind that every case of autism is different, and not all of us have all of these traits. These are just my personal thoughts and experiences) -His love of stacking is known as a "hyperfixation", which is when we completely focus on something and disregard everything else. It's difficult for us to switch between different topics, so if we find one thing that gives us joy, we find ourselves continuing to draw from that same well for what seems from the outside as an unusual amount of time. I'll often find myself searching for the slightest excuse to start gushing about mine, since it can be difficult for me to follow along with (or care about) conversations that have nothing to do with it. -His love of a rigid routine is another trait. We can find it hard to cope with unexpected changes, so knowing when change is coming in advance is advantageous. If my mom would tell me she was gonna cut my hair immediately, I'd be pretty distressed about that, but if she tells me that morning "I'm gonna cut your hair tonight", I'm perfectly calm. -The routine also helps us because we thrive on repetition and are terrible at managing time. If I don't have a preassigned task that I should be doing right now, I can find myself standing in a corner thinking of what I should do or waiting for someone to tell me what to do. If I have a preassigned task, I will immediately and efficiently perform it without issue because That's What's On The Schedule, and I'll enjoy it. The more scheduled my day, the better. -His emotional detachment comes from autistic people thinking more logically and less emotionally from neurotypicals. That's not to say that we don't or can't care about others or have emotions, but we tend to think of things from a "numerical" perspective. If I hear about someone doing a bad thing in service of a good thing, I will decide whether it was worth it by trying to quantify how much bad was done and how much good was done. -The language he uses when he speaks reflects our "poor" conversational skills. We can tend to be quite literal and direct with our word choice, and can become confused when someone else is not. -His inflection and speech patterns also come from this, as we often speak somewhat differently from others, and if we say the same phrase we will repeat it with the exact same delivery every time. -He wants to be separate from human contact because neurotypical people tend to find us annoying, and we tend to find neurotypicals loud and hard to talk with, so we don't really enjoy being in others' company all that much. Michael is honestly some of the best representation I've ever seen. I'm not saying I want to kill a cashier, but given the incomplete information Michael had on what prisons are like, I can't blame him for thinking it looked enticing.

[@bobwillneverdie]

As someone with Autism, this is not insulting.... Its pure genius.

[@deansbian5607]

I have autism and this is so fucking funny to me

[@Tryinghisbestyeah]

Same lol

[@CheezyPotatoez1]

Accurate too

[@sofiab.9129]

I would probably act like that if i didnt try soooo hard to be normal. But i have "acted" for so long that i dont really know who i am anymore :(

[@murraydyeronemillionyearsa3637]

@@sofiab.9129 i know exactly how you feel, we all try so hard to be "normal" we lose ourselves completly sometimes. Remember we are all beautiful

[@Raeljas]

I am autistic and today my husband said unironically “you know where you’d do great if you hate your routine getting disrupted? Prison.” He did not know about the sketch but now he does! Michael Falk asking the real questions “can you stack your family?”

[@Anstreki323]

Didn't ask cringe 💩🤡

[@fungustheclown666]

​@@Anstreki323 Who asked you? Cringe

[@369yew]

Shut up 😉

[@MisterPerson-fk1tx]

​@@Anstreki323there's a lot of shit clowns on KZbin comments, why did you have to accuse OP of being one, they didn't deserve that. Ever wonder if you're the shit clown?

[@GlazeonthewickeR]

@@Anstreki3232 months later and not a single like on that sad attempt at bringing someone down. Even shitheads can’t respect you.

[@capncake8837]

I love how the more the prisoner tries to discourage Michael from going to prison, the more he wants to.

[@coreyaruecker]

Real “you don’t want none of this Dewie” vibes

[@ryans6280]

Right 😂 "I don't think you understand"

[@saramcatee7133]

Pathological demand avoidance for the win!

[@graealex]

Plus him standing up and sitting down repeatedly...

[@dakota7397]

you dont get hungover! @@coreyaruecker

[@AhuizotlXiuh]

Michael went from stacking crates to stacking bodies real quick.

[@Nayhan123]

Ahuizotl Xiuhcoatl you got likes thought I'd tell you

[@lilwaterchris]

Ahuizotl Xiuhcoatl 😂😂😂

[@lukeneo3671]

😂😂😂😂

[@thomasglas3613]

Then he went back to stacking crates. Cause he got imprisoned.

[@Liminal-Galaxy-System6819]

LMAOOOOO 😂🤣😂🤣

[@annikaberg1350]

His figeting, stimming, and interrupting is really great attention to detail

[@rampageblizzard]

The echolalia too

[@juniperrodley9843]

Yeah this is shockingly realistic

[@cristianjuarez1086]

It just amazes me how accurate and detailed this character is, i love it

[@bananewane1402]

Wouldn’t surprise me if he’s actually autistic

[@trequor]

How is it that this actor in a 2min Onion joke is better at portraying autism than (almost) any bigshot Hollywood actor??

[@DKwiatkowski]

As an autistic person, I find these brilliant, especially his rocking with excitement about routine

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes😮😅

[@dylanholm9995]

@@EscapeApeit’s a fucking joke brother

[@forgotten893]

@@EscapeApe As someone who is autistic, empathy is a simple switch I can toggle on and off. Murdering someone wouldn't be too far off for someone who appears to (In this video) be a bit higher on the spectrum than myself. For an autistic person, empathy is a learned trait and not innately built into us like normal functioning human beings.

[@ShipperTrash]

​@forgotten893 I stopped eating animals at 5 or 6 years old after I learned about the concept of vegetarianism. No we're not sociopaths with switches, what kind of austism speaks speech is that? We have empathy levels that are either higher than "normal" or lower than "normal". Empathy doesn’t mean kindness or morality, either.

[@CYB3R2K]

​@@forgotten893do you stack your family?

[@dualexistence]

The actor playing the prisoner doesn't get enough credit. The way he looks at our beloved reporter like a child and is concerned about him while being in a very unfortunate position. Like how a father talks to a child.

[@lambybunny7173]

Honestly, yeah. While infantilization isn't that great, I don't think that's the intent since it's not done in a mocking tone, which I appreciate. It's just how the guy approaches someone like Michael Falk. In all honesty I'd rather have someone talk to me like the prisoner than have someone talk down to me like I'm 3 and don't know how to do anything.

[@dualexistence]

@@lambybunny7173 If you don't get it, you don't get it. That's alright.

[@user-yd4nk4lm6s]

@@lambybunny7173 he's just concerned that a nice young man wants to be in there with lunatics. It's more protective bc he's a good guy, not bc he's autistic.

[@Buutaro]

from the first line i thought he sounded so natural and real

[@AhtoRashied]

What kind of credit should we give him for doing his job well beyond pressing the like button? Fan mail? PayPal? Gofundme? Bitcoin?

[@laurenconrad1799]

I love this. They’re not just saying, “oh he’s autistic and therefore he’s dumb.” They take actual, realistic autistic traits and ruthlessly make fun of those.

[@cammykins5813]

Cant tell what you mean?

[@canavero4288]

@@cammykins5813 autistic people are known for needing a rigid schedule so it's funny that this reporter likes prison (this is satire btw, everything The Onion makes is satire)

[@cammykins5813]

@@canavero4288 Oh. I knew about their habit of patterns, but I didn't get the joke about ruthlessly making fun of the traits.

[@cammykins5813]

@Just a Human Oh ok, so showing their traits, not harassing them for being Autistic.

[@duranpredur1098]

On the other hand it could help raise awareness about autism.

[@khansahb-o4e]

"Can you stack your family?" The best critique of family I have ever heard.

[@milz7129]

Srithor No. Not enough correlation and no pun.

[@sunglassesemoji6052]

Traceable Logic I believe that Srithor's comment was an expression of their initial impression rather than a meditated upon interpretation.

[@milz7129]

Bassy boi Yeah

[@milz7129]

Srithor You got me. Nothing I can do about it.

[@milz7129]

Srithor "Their" can refer to a single person or a group. It is to attribute possession. But that's beside the point, I'm not trying to insult you and I don't think the other guy was either. Keep it lighthearted.

[@tamasmihaly1]

I love how he distills the entire conversation down to that final statement. Genius, the world was not ready for Mr. Falk.

[@KhoPhi]

"I cannot see you. I can only hear you" Spitting facts, and facts only!

[@KARENboomboomROXX]

Hahahaha I know. I CONSTANTLY say shit that's unnecessary. This was a funny piece

[@cclockwise_ll3]

Honestly as an aspie, I'd probably be a bit stunned at the word "see," try really hard to find a different word besides "see" in response that still makes sense to the viewers, creating several seconds of awkward silence, and end up going into the topic without saying hello back.

[@BigJoe2286]

This says a lot about our society.

[@matthewbrooder9414]

All bottle no cap

[@dillbill7152]

@@cclockwise_ll3 Yup

[@jonathanlamarre3579]

At 0:20 he is counting the tiles on the wall. Nice detail.

[@guytorie]

Oh fuck I didn't even notice that. Haha that's so accurate, I just count shapes and tiles when I'm talking to people

[@skillcheese]

Omg I do that too! I used to know exactly how many tiles were in the classroom in 1st grade and I loved how I could count up to that number over and over again lol, I don't remember how many it was now, but when I learned multiplication it made it so much easier to get to that number lol

[@beatrixwickson8477]

Hahaha, nice one. I missed this, thanks for highlighting it.

[@davidmayberry3190]

I'm not autistic but I actually did that myself in prison.

[@SerTempleton]

I count the tiles on the road and walk in patterns related to the tiles. Am I autistic? 🤔

[@Mario_1611]

*Perks of prison:* 1. Rigid Routines 2. Lining up 3. Counting 4. Stacking Crates 5. Same clothes every day 6. Hardly any human contact

[@u.v.s.5583]

1 is good, 2 is, well, meh, 3 is fine, 4 is ok, 5 is good, but 6 really sells!

[@fineichangeditagain5675]

I'm sold

[@Jacob-ABCXYZ]

I wouldn't say no human contact if you know what I mean

[@penjamin1479]

Choose this as your starting region? Y/N

[@TripleB87]

There's plenty of human contact in prison, if you mean being around people and talking. Inmates, COs, counselors, etc. Of course, you could also be a problem child and wind up in confinement all the time, so there's that too.

[@conorbowen3360]

11 years ago, The Onion understood autism better than most doctors and therapists

[@Angel-rm8vt]

where is Michael Falk today?

[@hectormugwump5530]

Too real, man. Too real.

[@panmigacz3121]

Yes!

[@thezeronelite]

​@@Angel-rm8vtPrison, I assume.

[@Angel-rm8vt]

@@thezeronelite for?

[@Notepad37]

This is legit, not joking at all, one of the best performances I've ever seen. He nailed that role.

[@AugustERaven]

Autistic ADHD here. I just sent this to my autistic friends, I'm loving it.

[@ijemand5672]

I wish he would nail me too

[@luke-sucks]

@@AugustERaven "I'm loving it" ba da ba ba ba

[@thesysop4998]

@@ijemand5672 wrong place buddy

[@-AAA-147]

@@ijemand5672 down bad on gah no cap fr fr

[@jmacc9876]

At least he was able to settle for 26 minutes after the interview to wait and talk to Brooke and didn't immediately go to find a Cashier instead.

[@jkta97]

We don't know what happened after the interview lol

[@bri1085]

​@@jkta97he says he stood there for 26 minutes waiting for Brooke

[@kMegalonyx]

It isnt stated that the 26 minutes started immediately after the interview, dont be blinded by having one fact!

[@bobsagget823]

@@kMegalonyx moron

[@storybook5199]

​@@kMegalonyxhe said he finished the interview 26 minutes ago and had been standing there waiting for his since then. There's no knowing what he did after the cameras turned off but we know he didn't do anything immediately after the interview.

[@Gotofy105]

"I can't see you I can only hear you," now that's a line from writers who understand autism.

[@nospoonfulofmayonnaiseforme]

i mean it depends. it's a stereotype for autistic people to never understand non-literal statements. I'm autistic and have no problem with that

[@indigo8592]

@@nospoonfulofmayonnaiseformeyeah autism is really hard to understand for some people because it affects everybody differently.

[@timlampers8610]

@@nospoonfulofmayonnaiseforme As somebody with mild autism, I can understand most phrases and sayings, but I have a very hard time interpreting if something is ment to be taken literally or not.

[@OfficialAshArcher]

Literally what I would say as an autistic person too

[@trueblueclue]

My autistic buddy has no problem with figurative phrases. But he struggles to read between the lines or whether some things are serious or not. I remember one time we were on VC with a couple we both knew. The were flirting with the woman mildly picking on the guy. He took that very personally and defended the guy. We tried to explain to him what was going on (all 3 of us knew about his autism and just accepted his quirks) They had a temporary fallout at the time and since have made up. This dude would also go on for hours about Pokémon and pagan/spiritual stuff. But when the subject changes you could feel his discomfort from voice chat. Sometimes he'd just excuse himself and leave VC even if nobody wanted him to. Dude just gets super nervous. The really funny thing though sometimes he was very perceptive about people and social situations. Able to call out BS and hypocrisy. It's like he lives in social extremes. I was also chatting up an autistic only fans girl once and she was kind of the same. A little more flexible with reading between the lines but sometimes she'd just wander the fuck off and be in her own head. I'd have to check in with her. She loved to talk about sex and what she did (probably why she got into OF) but did struggled with other things. She was surprisingly perceptive at times as well. Y'all are interesting tbh

[@MinecraftNerd1985]

It would have been perfect if the video starts with him in front of a convenience store. That's all I'm saying.

[@foxygrin]

"Hi, I'm Michael. You're probably wondering how I ended up here. Well,"

[@krpowerlifting3380]

Explain?

[@crdm82]

@@krpowerlifting3380 2:07

[@JustAnotherPandaBear]

@@krpowerlifting3380 It would imply that he was about to rob the convenience store so he could go to prison.

[@munbu8625]

people have explained this but it makes no sense because there’s no context at the start and even if they did shoot it outside a convenience store, there’s a lot of things to keep in mind like the time of day, people walking in the shot, etc. It’ll eventually be hard to even get the reference and it’ll just be a pointless easter egg.

[@PsychopathUltimate]

Sad thing is, if Michael Falk really existed, he'd be the only journalist you could trust.

[@IamBHM]

Unless you're a cashier at a convenience store.

[@cjones4518]

Bad Hair Man This reply is underliked.

[@jacencade4019]

Bad Hair Man we all have flaws

[@EamonBurke]

I have always thought that autistic people would make great journalists. They would just tell you wtf happened.

[@nonexistent-best-friend1693]

Eamon Burke we would

[@paulnash9851]

God I wish this was a series. I’d pay good money to watch him reporting different situations/events etc. The writing and acting in this is brilliant.

[@arthurbradley6139]

There are other Onion segments with him in them

[@1saac2saac]

there are 4-5 episodes of this guy

[@Person-lk1vs]

there is

[@eeek143]

There was gonna be a series, but then he robbed a convenience store

[@MickSkitz]

@@1saac2saac Can we stack those episodes?

[@LocalBroYT]

As an autistic person, I cracked up really hard at this, especially when he said “Can you stack ur family?”

[@westingtyler1]

"sure there are normal guys like me who are in here for embezzling and fraud.." underrated line.

[@fluffynator6222]

@Splitinfinity Well, they kina are. I mean, you wouldn't notice it if you met them on the street.

[@user-qb4on2qm7z]

What he means is non violent crime.

[@clashwithmoi8926]

Why wouldn’t they? Everyone in prison is innocent.

[@nicolaim4275]

@Mr Temporal I think there might be a bit more of an overlap between fraudsters and psycho murder rapists than you imply with that statement.

[@tomsawyer9403]

@John too

[@goldengod5915]

1:24 is kind of a wholesome moment. It's obvious that the "inmate" was aware that the reporter had some sort of condition, and went along with how the reporter was responding. He actually smiled when the reporter exclaimed that he likes to stack.

[@feedelstick4670]

You do know it's fake?

[@goldengod5915]

@@feedelstick4670 Yeah, that's why I had the word "inmate" in quotes like that because he's a paid actor. These Onion videos are absolutely amazing.

[@feedelstick4670]

@@goldengod5915 Haha just making sure, but you're right my bad! Yes Onion is really good in its thing!

[@goldengod5915]

@@feedelstick4670 Quite a few people fall for these videos thinking it's real content, it's funny

[@lennybodega]

@@goldengod5915 /r/AteTheOnion on reddit is great for that

[@Marauder1981]

"I like to stack" and stands up in excitement. Genius.

[@naterbaternaterbater]

I'm 6'2" and I will jump up or pound on myself when excited. 😂 I'm really surprised on how accurate the onion was on this

[@fernandotills]

@@luceromoreno9081 Could you imagine if they got us all together? The amount of work the boys could put out… Jesus.

[@fernandotills]

@@luceromoreno9081 Those who oppose us, or those who doubt our productivity shall suffer greatly.

[@janewick509]

I love your profile picture man, best one I have seen in 3 years I am surfing KZbin.

[@aawillma]

He immediately had to stack something so he stacked his body 🤯 Stack Master

[@ZeXiOn26]

Michael would love how the comments under the video are all neatly stacked on top of each other

[@normalhuman9878]

The fact that a satirical news source manages to represent Autism better than factual news sources is mind boggling

[@dalseides3742]

Is it? Satirical news sources aren't subject to the same pressures to regurgitate propoganda that mainstream news experiences. If no one takes them seriously, what's the harm in letting them represent reality?

[@LazyBuddyBan]

probably because they do some actual research beforehand lol

[@EclecticallyEccentric]

​@@LazyBuddyBan And/or have someone actually autistic working with them.

[@TheSCPStudio]

Ahh, yes, factual news sources typically have people pretending to be autistic. Bro what are you even saying lmao. I swear you can format any opinion similarly to mock big establishments and get likes from the NPCs on the internet lmao.

[@Sniperboy5551]

Not surprising, factual news doesn’t care about people, only their message

[@barrysteakfriessimp_real]

"Make sure the cashier is dead." "I cannot see you, Brooke. I can only hear you." most relatable representation of an austistic person i've seen.

[@XOChristianaNicole]

Man, if I am referring to something I wrote in a text/comment, I won’t type “I said..” - I’ll type, “I stated..” Because I didn’t, technically, verbally SAY anything. However, I did STATE a point. The second I hear that line, “I cannot see you, Brooke. I can only hear you” - all I could think was “Me.” Also, the excitement over wearing the same thing, everyday - also, me. I wear the same outfit, every damn day.” -‘or a variation of it. I have 6 of the same shirts, 5 of the same leggings, 7 of the same yoga pants, over a dozen layering tank tops and socks, 2 long-sleeve button up cover shirts, 3 of the same lounge dresses, 3 pairs of the same gloves, 3 pairs of the same aviator sunglasses - all black; as well as three variations of army green grunge-style rain jackets). I do enjoy spontaneity, though I, definitely like and require routine within such.

[@DarthGTB]

Sometimes I think that if I were a kid today, I would have been diagnosed with a light form of autism too. That second sentence is definitely something I would have said. I've always had trouble picturing things that aren't literal. It's much less of a problem today because now as an adult I can understand these. Just don't ask me to write any kind of fictional piece (I have language studies and text exercises are the worst)

[@AbdulBido]

I haven't been diagnosed with anything.. But this sure strikes a chord.

[@absolutezero6190]

@@lrsb1678 language is all mushy and contextual and relative; sometimes certain words convey a feeling better than the technically correct one

[@kyliemason2726]

This is my son in a nutshell. Everything is so literal.

[@driphearts8035]

As an autistic man, this is both an accurate and satirical representation of what my life is like. His stims are accurate and his hyper fixations are as well. I don't know if he's neurotypical, but this is still a very accurate and oddly respectful way of poking fun at our tendencies.

[@dontspikemydrink9382]

eh no, he isn't, he is "autistic"

[@TopOfAllWorlds]

@@dontspikemydrink9382 You completely misread the comment because your reply makes no sense

[@dontspikemydrink9382]

@@TopOfAllWorlds maybe it's you

[@dtrYeti]

TopOfAllWorlds I think his drink was spiked

[@asthecrowflies1201]

@@TopOfAllWorlds bro, you're bad at thinking...

[@Josehuds69420]

How is *this* the most accurate depiction of Autism I have seen in a while (coming from an autistic person)

[@SonniDez]

That moment when The Onion is more dedicated to accurate portrayals of autistic people than Sia is.

[@him1019]

Not every autistic person is the same. There isnt really a way to "accurately" portray autism. You just want to cancel people and find reasons to trigger yourself.

[@reshmakhan1302]

@@him1019 have you watched the damn movie? Not only did they use ‘restraint’ as a method the organisation behind the movie is actually autism speaks

[@him1019]

@@reshmakhan1302 you are so stupid. Putting restraint in the movie doesnt mean she supports it. Bad shit happens in movies all of the time. Should we cancel every producer who made a slavery movie because that means they support slavery? You just want to trigger yourself and cancel someone

[@reshmakhan1302]

@@him1019 fyi no, it wasn’t even portrayed as something that happens but is actually bad or anything(like most movies that tackle slavery and heavy subjects do and to that aim to show exactly what is wrong with it), his exact words were ‘I am crushing her with my love’ not to even get started with the movie’s use of sudden vibrant colours which would allow a big part of the autistic community that have hypersensation might be able to watch comfortably not to mention the movie was backed by autism speaks an organisation known to demean and dehumanise autistic children on many occasions.

[@TheJarlath9]

@@reshmakhan1302 honestly i went to a school with autistic kids and this is pretty spot on its spectrum but this dude's acting kinda spot on

[@shea7121]

I am honestly appalled to see the lack of sensitivity in this video. Issues like these need to be formally addressed and discussed. Stacking families is a big issue and I am very upset.

[@dmitriyr4095]

If families are not stacked in precisely straight lines then we have failed as a civilization.

[@Teudace]

I love someone non-stackable #warriormom :'(

[@trevorhouff1173]

Had me in the 1st half

[@euanstokes2828]

Had me in the first half not gonna lie

[@cherahsBroll]

Got me 😂😂😂

[@calvinhuddleston576]

"guys like me who are in here for embezzling and frau-" "That takes too long. I want to go to prison now"

[@kaushalsuvarna5156]

The best line in an amazing video 😂

[@Uhoh11111]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pJCpqGBjhrSpa68

[@darkaphelion9870]

Best line is "make sure the cashier is dead"

[@richardlooch2109]

@@Uhoh11111 nope.

[@YeviCoulson]

@@lednails that's a bit too true

[@nellurban7826]

1:20 why was the "you do?" so sweet though 😊

[@skyboundzoo7529]

How did the Onion go under the radar with these? I can't believe it tbh. Quality

[@Stormwern]

It's a shame they stopped as they were getting better and better each time.

[@Alacard0malley]

7 years ago being offended wasn't considered a hobby.

[@JiveDadson]

@@Stormwern They literally sold out. Under the new ownership, all the great parodies vanished overnight, to be replaced by woke powerpoint slides and bullshit.

[@JiveDadson]

@@Alacard0malley ... and Google had owned youtube for only three years. It can take time to crush souls on an industrial scale.

[@valerune192]

As an autistic person. I feel like theyre poking more fun at how the media portrays autistic people than how autistic people really are

[@nathanricketts2415]

"CAN YOU STACK YOUR FAMILY" he DO have his priorities straight and I DO be respecting that

[@bryceirvine856]

Nathan Ricketts I will tell you friend, the passion for stacking is real. I am on the spectrum, working for FedEx, and I cannot express the amount of joy I get from moving boxes around.

[@mitchelskulas870]

@@bryceirvine856 the dopamine box, coming to a store near you

[@ankitmahajan4036]

When you do be learn English??

[@zuludude2]

@@bryceirvine856 They call me the tetris guy because I make the boxes fit tight!

[@wsketchy]

@@ankitmahajan4036 You must have been off of the internet for a long, long time if you can't tell that's intentional.

[@nesnibila4888]

the sheer 'to-do-list' vibe of 'make sure the cashier is dead' has me in hysterics

[@geekswithfeet9137]

This is actually one of the best representations I’ve ever seen

[@interstellarlapisthecccp4946]

You wear the same clothes everyday... Yes! and you live in this tiny little box... YES! YES! and there's hardly any human contact... How do I get to live here?!

[@SurprisinglyDynamicAnimeSideC]

MichaelZu Asking the real questions here

[@anyu]

Well you have to make sure the grocery store clerk is dead.

[@jackiefreeborn2563]

It’s like Liz Lemons “I want to go to there”

[@filipedias7284]

These niggas will provide you lots of _human contact_

[@Sol_Invictus_]

Sounds like university

[@terreliv]

He's (the character's portrayal) stimming and dropping in functionality due to excitement. This is wonderful. Edit 1: His eye contact immediately "gets better" when he hears something he likes it's adorable. Edit 2: I am also autistic Edit 3: He's gonna kill Ryan at work to go to jail

[@somethingwithbungalows]

*_I L I K E S T A C K._*

[@ClipsofFury]

Terreliv it’s fake. Satire

[@BaronOfDaker]

@@ClipsofFury Why do you assume that they don't know that?

[@d4nny8]

@@ClipsofFury They know, they're just commending the actor.

[@AM-ry8i5]

a neuroaffective disorder isn't adorable.

[@InsidiousClouds]

"Well- you wear the same clothes every day," "Yes" "And you live in this tiny little box," "Yes! Yes-" "And there's hardly any human contact," "How do I get to live here?!" As someone on the spectrum, I can absolutely agree with Michael Falk.

[@unbannable7551]

*“Make sure the cashier is dead!..”*

[@ekatasatya2995]

seems like avoiding pain at any cost..

[@GameboyFanatic]

@@ekatasatya2995 Well, I mean, yeah

[@nickythehickey]

@@ekatasatya2995 see there’s this thing called being sensory avoidant

[@vecipheragain]

Hell yeah

[@jg-7780]

1:19 That little stand up he does is perfect, gets me every time.

[@starlily3219]

“Make sure the cashier is dead” I’m dead 💀

[@leocoelho12]

Were you a cashier??

[@Magpie_Media]

@@leocoelho12 I think they were!

[@femkevanwageningen6068]

No but are you? I'f you are a cashier you need to tell us so we can bring him the good news!

[@yourangelinfleshorsackclot1523]

youll do

[@HKdouche]

Hi Dead, I'm dad.

[@bray7934]

This is a better representation of autism than big bang theory

[@an8strengthkobold360]

That's a low bar

[@morganwalker4809]

Which character portrays autism in The Big Bang Theory?

[@dhltn8624]

Sheldon being autistic is actually not Canon. People have labeled him as autistic because he has some stereotypical traits. But you are right that it doesn't represent autism very well, I'm just pointing out that his character was not created with that intention.

[@dariocardajoli6831]

...sheldon is asperger's ... There's a HUGE difference between neurotypical and neurospecial

[@spinachsheik3701]

@@dariocardajoli6831 um, it's neurodivergent, and Sheldon's a pretty shit representation of asperger's

[@SirHolySword]

"Embezzling and fraud-" "That takes too long!" I can't breathe

[@chocolatecake4486]

EtherDimentionalist I need to go to prison NOW!

[@sidimightbe]

The first two lines form a pleasing curve

[@qu4980]

Dead

[@FeelMyBirdie]

Well i guess it wouldnt take very long now if you apply for PPP and use thr money to buy lambos

[@eleanordavies1467]

The funiest bit for me was at the begining where she introduced him as “autistic reporter”. Idk why imagineif new readers just introdeuced all the autistic news reporters as “autistic reporter” lol. Also im autistic myself and I love this, it’s done really well.

[@catortoisethoughts6152]

As an autistic person, this is a great example of how you can make a joke about autism without being offensive. Great work Onion! Edit: Since this comment is still receiving replies, some of which are asking why this is not offensive, I will clarify my opinion of it. After re-watching it there are some parts that are a bit iffy, but nothing that I see as too bad. The other videos with this character I found quite offensive as they seemed to be just making fun of the character's autism. However in this video (at least as far as it comes across to me) the video is making fun of the character's misjudgement of the situation that is being described to him in the interview, not his autism directly. Him being autistic is relevant to the joke because it determines how he acts due to the misunderstanding, where an allistic (not autistic) person would likely find the thought of a prison as boring and try to avoid it, he instead finds it exciting and so sets out to go commit crimes in order to get in. This serves to make the situation into one that's sort of tragically funny, rather than one that just doesn't really go anywhere. It's perfectly possible that I'm putting too much trust in The Onion's ability to make good jokes about minority groups, and that the stuff that I've attributed to his personal failings are meant to be attributed to his autism, but that's just how my brain took it at face value. It's obviously not a perfect or even good representation of the autistic experience and even if it was, autistic people are as unique and varied in their personalities and likes as allistic people are and most are not going to be like this, but the representation is relatable to me in many aspects and is much better than a Rain Man type character that pushes the 'autistic genius' stereotype.

[@zenorus3526]

I was actually wondering how an autistic person would see this. Thanks for your perspective.

[@catortoisethoughts6152]

@The ABC Jug Band everything will be found offensive by someone on someone else's behalf, that's just a fact of life.

[@kingofgrim4761]

@The ABC Jug Band the only time I’ve seen people genuinely mad or offended by the onion has been when they make a commentary on racism and the white racists in the comments are upset 💀

[@burgerchuffer491]

You can think?

[@starisma4215]

im autistic myself and i dont really find this offensive

[@BobGymlan]

I like to *stack*

[@cosfishin5616]

Oh shit you like the onion too that's bad ass

[@greatestever3479]

You do? :)

[@evansgate]

Hey, it’s Bob Gymlan

[@reterbid6215]

I too, enjoy the partaking of stacking stackable objects in stacks

[@thoughtfuldevil6069]

Seeing Bob Gymlan comment on a video feels as strange and exhilarating as seeing a Sasquatch glance at you over its shoulder during a pre-dawn hike.

[@Lazyguy22]

I love how he says "make sure the cashier is dead" even though Brian never mentioned murder. Michael's out for blood.

[@markwright3161]

Brian will be getting kicked out for not killing someone. Michael is just securing a longer stay :)

[@Hollyberrystreats]

It was a logical conclusion based on securing the maximum prison time?

[@RONLOT-f2k]

Well I think he mentioned it when he said that he robbed the cashier and then he shot her, what could you expect when you shot someone?

[@UreksatheJade]

​@@RONLOT-f2k You missed the joke 😂

[@vicwaju]

@@RONLOT-f2kidk bruh, they lose a leg or smthn? 😭

[@DirtyHairy1]

Brook's reaction at 0:06 is SPOT ON, resprect it's these gems that give me respect for the profession of actor

[@akarun45]

as an autistic person myself, I'm surprised how this is way more accurate than most Hollywood portrayals of autism.

[@soberrocks2158]

What they need to do next is portray somone with autism after they have taken acid. Shits a show to watch. They go full blown retard trying to be normal. Shits cringeworthy and funny as fuck. I’ve seen it happen to my little brother.

[@bendreary]

@@soberrocks2158 wtf r u on bro ... !

[@lemons1559]

@@bendreary autists on acid clearly.

[@cocraine]

@@soberrocks2158 ?? what is that supposed to mean

[@zacdredge3859]

Probably because Hollywood is so afraid of offending anyone to such an extent that they fail to truly represent them.

[@bellpebber63]

"Can you stack your family?" I'm dead just like the cashier

[@naterbaternaterbater]

Lol I understand the logic of the question 😂

[@TheAmazingAdventuresOfMiles]

of course you can.

[@gabi3742]

BRUH LMAOO

[@iwbmo]

@@TheAmazingAdventuresOfMiles why not

[@Sentientmatter8]

Make sure the cashier is dead

[@autonomousAcquaintances]

I am autistic and I approve this message. The amount of time as a kid I spent wishing I was in prison isnt even funny.

[@richpryor9650]

Did you try to kill the cashier?

[@soccermommyNPC]

I remember a line in a movie lamenting a prisoner who could “only eat bread and butter for years.” That was practically all I liked to eat, and was like, sounds great!

[@O.Reagano]

Lol your approval

[@spudlee1749]

My son is the same way. He loves talking about it, until i remind him there is no access to the internet 😄

[@nadMoZzzg]

I don't think you understand

[@overcomingjeff]

As someone who is an adult-diagnosed Autistic - and who has spent most of the past four decades working as a broadcast journalist - I consider this to be comedic GENIUS and I love it. Kudos to everyone involved in this production! If you’re Autistic and you’re offended by this? You have every right to feel how you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, especially if they’re not also Autistic. If you’re not Autistic and you’re offended by this? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@snorkyblundabus7063]

I’m really suprised and pleased at how many Autistic people have watched and enjoyed this and been supportive of its portrayal. The comedy of it breaks the barrier and stigma and has encouraged Autistic friends to speak out instead of locking in which better helps us all understand eachother better. That’s a real plus!

[@clmBerserker]

Well this is the closest thing we will get to representation and its close enough for us.

[@Melody_Raventress]

Thanks, it wasn't perfect portrayal but better than 99% of them, even while satirizing us. Comedy has always been a forerunner of opening dialogs and creating understanding. People get butthurt at being mocked, and don't take the opportunity presented.

[@lambertovitali3152]

Autism is simple to understand, they're robots with no common sense. They need an OS upgrade.

[@olivertjalve4868]

It's impossible to be offended when it really feels like how I think, just dialed up. And seeing it as a joke makes it easier to digest and think about.

[@johnwt7333]

We used to bully one in high school. Made their life a living hell every single day. Now I am starting to feel we may have done something wrong. On the other hand, he acted like this, can't put all the blame on us.

[@Chronicroc]

This is so how I'm feeling rn. My job at the moment has been almost 100% alphabetizing and organizing and my supervisor keeps apologizing for making me do "boring tasks". WRONG i am having the time of my life

[@jasondashney]

Be a bit of an asshole and you'll keep getting that work as "punishment"!

[@pennymikk]

same i study japanese and my favorite part is studying japanese characters because of how repetitive it is!!! i love it and end up forgetting to study grammar because of how much i love to just repeat and repeat japanese words over and over again

[@camokarzi8491]

You should tell them

[@michaelashbrook3195]

yeah but how good does it feel when you get on a mad roll and things are just going so hella smooth

[@LucasFernandez-fk8se]

Eww why tho? No offense but that does sound very tedious

[@DennisTeti]

I fell for this shit hook, line and sinker. I was researching autism and found this video. I thought the production was strange and the interview a little too much. but when I saw this was uploaded by the Onion I burst out laughing. I'm still laughing. I can't believe I fell for that.

[@benitotortellini4093]

Curtis Dodge I sympathise with you. I'm not on the spectrum, but I really really hate people who are overly autistic

[@msjkramey]

BenitoTortellini "I really hate disabled people"

[@benitotortellini4093]

J Girl that's the joke lol

[@msjkramey]

BenitoTortellini I thought jokes were supposed to be funny?

[@benitotortellini4093]

J Girl I was making fun of Curtis cause he basically said he doesn't like autistic people

[@charredolive]

It's great watching this every year, and realizing they portrayed a better autistic character all those years ago than anyone can today.

[@InsertName125]

I'm not autistic, but the "hardly any human contact" did sound pretty enticing.

[@spormlastname267]

I think the rape makes up for the rest of the time.

[@plasticuproject]

You can't stack your family, so fuck em. I'm in.

[@Myndir]

@@spormlastname267 Solitude AND sex with little talking? How can I get there?

[@ybuRnoipmahC]

Yeah im not autistic ethier but i mean. I dont have to account for my clothes since theyre the same every day, little human contact, getting to stack stuff none stop and make sure its perfect, a strict routine thats enforced I LOVE ALL OF THIS

[@NRG56]

It's not

[@sb2h]

The way he stands up and sits back down is *perfect*

[@jacockistitsworth9392]

As someone with autism, this is hilarious, but I've also been to jail, it's not as good lmao.

[@jonbalderh]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/q4fNg5huhr15frs

[@Shadowswolf9666]

But we are talking about prison

[@fischX]

Did you shoot the cashier? Does he stack?

[@democratictotalitariansoci1462]

Everything's fun and games, until you drop soap😁😁

[@nihilgeorge6009]

@@fischX did you make sure the cashier was dead

[@MikeSilv]

“There’s hardly any human contact-“ “HOW DO I GET TO LIVE HERE”

[@PRubin-rh4sr]

He should have told him the butt sex

[@qpol]

“why do you want to get out of here?” “for my family” “can you stack your family” man is asking the real questions

[@Greatj-Gil]

That part of the video made me laugh even though it probably shouldn't have lol

[@burnyizland]

OMG that made me laugh harder than anything!

[@Nocturnal_Mee]

Investigative journalism at its finest.

[@Somnicolossus]

The House that Jack Built answers this exhaustively

[@Greatj-Gil]

@@Somnicolossus *The House Built By Jack! That is dark tho I was thinking of it as A man standing, the grandfather on his shoulders, the cousin on the grandfather's shoulders and so on like the Yertle Turtle story by Dr. Suess

[@ddog042]

I think my favorite quote from this is “no that takes to long I need to go to prison now”

[@carthiefd]

Agreed. He immediately assesses the length of time required to commit embezzlement or fraud and realizes both are infeasible for his objective.

[@ddog042]

Eazy P Now you. You I like

[@fatman957]

mine too

[@dryboneskirby]

I like stacking boxes. How long does it take and how long would I get for stacking my family?

[@ImJustHeretoLurk]

As an autistic myself I have seen a lot of supposed "representation" How in the hell did the Onion get it the most accurate?!?!

[@alexfagnan7469]

There’s probably at least a few working for the onion. lol

[@naterbaternaterbater]

I'm autistic myself. I found this hilarious because I have really considered going to prison for all of things the clip makes fun of. Unfortunately, all the bad people in prison kinda ruins the fantasy for me. If only there were specific prison-like places for people like me! On a side note, I've considered mental institutions, but going to one would bankrupt me. 🤷‍♂️

[@non9886]

onion is on other level. they are best!

[@matthiasmartin1975]

It's up there with The Chosen.

[@thealkymyst]

Rob a bank. You'll be able to afford autism prison then.

[@kariale12678]

This cements my theory that monasteries and nunneries were historic safe spaces for neurodivergent men and women. See also Jane Eyre.

[@amaka6445]

This actor is incredible! The detailing in his blocking is damn near identical to the average body language of a person with autism. He's for sure done a lot of research and/or grown up with someone with autism cuz wow

[@amaka6445]

@CR six seasons! Good on him. I don't watch law and order unfortunately, but I just might have to now

[@TommyAngelo1337]

He's been in a couple of *Tony Award winning* musicals, nominated once himself, and wrote another famous play. The guy is a legit talent. His name is John Cariani.

[@chickenheadfaerie9731]

He could also just have autism, I’m pretty sure Robin Williams had it. Honestly it’s probably something that would make someone a better actor because so many people with autism have amazing memories and can hyper focus really easily

[@dogsdreamtoo8427]

@@chickenheadfaerie9731 how are you so sure that Robin Williams had it? Don't be jumping to conclusions like fucking Mario

[@kev_whatev]

@@dogsdreamtoo8427 Actually Mario had autism too

[@SF-zm2py]

I must say that this is the first autism-oriented joke that I've actually found funny, and it's hilarious at that. Kudos.

[@breeze5926]

I love it. It's funny because it's not actually making fun of the autistic person, rather the comical misunderstandings 😂

[@grantrichardet6250]

@@breeze5926 ik I’ve got friends with autism who love this they were dyin of laughter

[@juniperrodley9843]

@@grantrichardet6250 I've got autism myself and so am I :)

[@Uhoh11111]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pJCpqGBjhrSpa68

[@fracturedzone7225]

@@juniperrodley9843 your dying??

[@jrjubach]

I NEED TO GO TO PRISON NOW. You don’t understa- NOW.

[@stefaniaponitz5738]

Thank God, I've rejected so many videos that yt offered to me through the algorhythm, they had no choice then to offer me something good. I love this so much.

[@3pg4kd]

He would absolutely love bootcamp. He could be the happiest recruit or most terrifying drill instructor in the world.

[@audreyquentin9273]

MS haha I'm in a naval jrotc program in my school and this freshman with Aspergers has already been promoted to a PO3

[@SmackThePanda]

audrey quentin What does that mean in english?

[@superduperisaac]

SmackThePanda newbie with aspergers is doing really well in a school military program, he's ranking up quickly

[@mid1429]

It’s because we develop patterns and in that way militarywold be very easy in my case I love explaining things

[@mid1429]

audrey quentin my school did not have JROTC

[@wemuk5170]

This is amazingly accurate. My son (with autism & intellectual disability) is super well-behaved because he loves structure, routine & rules and he cannot have nothing to do. He can speak very little but he would behave like this reporter, yes, absolutely. Very accurate depiction of reality.

[@euphoricatheist6694]

Not accurate. Actual auts spend most of their time autistically screeching.

[@hummingbirdcake1902]

@@euphoricatheist6694 Are you ok?

[@euphoricatheist6694]

@@hummingbirdcake1902 REEEEEEEEEEEE!

[@hummingbirdcake1902]

I guess not.

[@wemuk5170]

Hummingbird Cake I hope he is all right because I speak from my heart. 💗 I am the parent carer of an autistic teen, have autistics as our own close relatives as well as co-founded & run a sports club with autistics as members so I am absolutely not joking. Hope he is OK. Some of my autistic friends will close their ears very tightly with the hands & howl or screech - only in the middle of meltdowns. Hope he is fine by now...

[@GrayAcre]

"I cannot see you Brooke, I can only hear you." The honest journalism we stan for.

[@bobbysweets746]

This is the only news source I trust

[@sparky6757]

As a person on the lower end of the autism spectrum I can almost agree. Would it actually be worth it? No. Does prison hold some appeal? Unironically, yes.

[@somethingwithbungalows]

When I was little I wanted to live in prison lmao

[@orchdork775]

In South Korea* there are actual pretend prisons that you can pay to stay at. Apparently, some people there are so overwhelmed by the high expectations and stress of their careers, that on the weekends they choose to de-stress at one of these facilities, so they can basically just turn their brain off. You don't have to worry about anything, since every possible decision is being made for you, so you can just relax and be. I can definitely understand the appeal of something like that. *I initially wrote that this was happening in Japan, but it turns out it is actually in South Korea.

[@somethingwithbungalows]

Jackie Johnson I wanna go!

[@ripnecco5477]

Unironically it absolutely does lol. Imagine an environment of perfect consistency. Absolute efficiency. Yes.

[@reggiestickleback7794]

An Average Pichu Just join a Catholic monastery