How to Stop Overthinking: Master the ACT Skill of Cognitive Defusion 13/30

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Discovering how to stop overthinking begins with the realization that trying to force our thoughts to change only amplifies them. This video introduces the ACT technique of cognitive defusion, a pivotal concept for those seeking to learn how to stop overthinking. Instead of wrestling with our thoughts and overthinking potential outcomes, cognitive defusion teaches us to observe our thoughts without attachment. By labeling and noticing thoughts as just thoughts, we learn how to stop overthinking by distancing ourselves from these mental processes, thus reducing their impact. Knowing how to stop overthinking doesn't mean engaging in a struggle with our inner dialogue, but rather, shifting our attention to what truly aligns with our values, freeing us from the tiresome cycle of overthinking. This skill, central to understanding how to stop overthinking, requires practice to master, but can ultimately guide us to a more present and less anxiety-driven existence.
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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

[@ondesco1364]

I think you were born to do this. From your deep knowledge to your professional yet friendly voice to your authenticity.... You are a super star! You have obviously helped so many people, that's a gift 🎁. All my best wishes for you and your family Emma!!

[@mn9120]

She is giving from the place of abundance.

[@Taureanfitness]

Agreed she's amazing!

[@n.nicole11]

I completely agree! @therapy in a nutshell, Thank you so much

[@Struzzylive]

Beautifully created by God ❤

[@nemo5148]

Greetings from Cape Town South Africa Emma, a heartfelt thank you for sharing your extensive knowledge & all your efforts Mental health challenges are not fun, yet your presentation style is always so engaging , interesting & informative I can't afford long term private therapy so your pearls of wisdom are truly a blessing I've learnt so much life changing skills, coping mechanisms & a better understanding of mind body connection You're truly a miracle in so many of our lives❤ Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to you & your loved ones XXX

[@beautyamongashes8378]

In the book “Chatter” I also learned to yell my own name at myself when I’m ruminating and overthinking. I’m honestly surprised every time when it works!

[@jasmineleigh0328]

When I was meditating recently and kept getting too distracted by thoughts and stimuli to focus on a body scan, I just suddenly imagined another me, physically in front of me, firmly yelling my name to get my attention and keep me focused and go, “JASMINE. TOP OF THE HEAD. TOP OF THE HEAD. WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE. FEEL IT. THE TOP. OF YOUR HEAD. GOOD. NEXT.” 😂 and so forth.

[@Sk8Hound64]

Hmmm...thanks for mentioning the book. I'll have to check it out.

[@everydayangel]

i feel like this could genuinely work for me cause i'm someone who needs a bit of though love when i get stuck ruminating lol

[@Redheadedgemini]

I named my overthinking critic Karen and when I notice her taking over I say out loud "shut up Karen" 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

[@charlescrooks7891]

Cognitive defusion - separating from thoughts, is a core practice in Buddhism. It works.

[@serene1486]

what is the practice called?

[@Joseph_Greco]

@@serene1486 Detachment

[@janethansen9612]

I find that isolation and loneliness leads to ruminating thoughts, I have to get out of the house and move towards people to shift my focus. Easier said than done when you're a bit agoraphobic but I know this is what works for me.

[@kevinspano7315]

Hi Janet. I can relate You are not alone in your struggle. I know it takes “work” Determination, dedication, self love. You can do this! 👍 💪

[@shovelhead4558]

Keep up the good work isolation is a hard nut to crack but it can be done.

[@jeremyc2445]

100% my story

[@jeremyc2445]

We loners need to stick together

[@sheenalee7602]

Yes, I can relate. I try to get out of the house and do things with my son to take my mind off things.

[@theotherway1639]

I discovered that my chronic overthinking was a result of a trauma response to find and ensure continued safety and security. If I stopped thinking, then I was in trouble...at least I was conditioned to believe this. It's why there are so many addiction and distractions today, because so many of us are trying to turn off the overthinking reaction to preemptively manage our safety and security. Mindfulness was hard to do for me. Books like 30 Days to Reduce Depression by Harper Daniels and the Tao Te Ching and even Tolle's Power of Now helped me to slowly realize that I wasn't my thinking mind.

[@madsp2872]

This is exactly what I’m struggling with. How’s it going for you? And could you elaborate more on what helped? 🙏

[@shereeclinton8741]

Yassss

[@jayneelinor]

Cognitive defusion is a great tool. I would add to this that it's important to observe your thought WITHOUT judgement, otherwise we open another route to negativity and self disparaging thinking.

[@patricklapinski1526]

Yes, practicing non judgment or noticing your judgments and questioning them is a huge part of cognitive diffusion in my experience

[@amalksuresh2538]

That's called acceptance in ACT

[@Mouse_007]

Yes. I'm just recently learning that thoughts are not good or bad, however some are more useful than others.

[@whimsylore]

All of the ballerina's ruminations sounded like a way to take her power back in a situation she had no power over. What roles she did/didn't get weren't ultimately in her hands, but her cycle of ruminating was like trying to find a way to figure out what might happen anyway. Wondering what they thought of her was also her wondering what they'd do to her, if she'd lose what she had and they'd take it away at any moment. Maybe I'm projecting, but it sounds so familiar to me.

[@jeraldbaxter3532]

As my great-great- grandaddy used to say, "You see what you look for."

[@shawnadavis7356]

My anxiety/overthinking has affected my life more than I ever knew and caused me to make mistakes/lapses in judgment/2nd guess myself and and not be present. These simple techniques that can be so useful - I wish everyone would know about these. It’s so simple but when you’re in your own head you can’t see solutions on your own sometimes.

[@jeffdavidson5339]

Soooo easy and common to overthink. Guilty as charged! :) Ready to put in the work to be more mindful to do less of this!! Thank you!🙏

[@CesarSchrega]

omfg a Brazilian here, even though I have never been to a camp and we have no concept of camp counselor here, you really do totally look like the type of woman that is the camp counselor in every American movie I have ever watched in my whole life

[@tanu5401]

I have spiralled and lashed out the whole day today. The timing ❤

[@Acavinash]

Same here

[@staycool163]

I can't express enough how much your videos help me. I can easily understand what you're saying, and it's a tremendous help to me. THANK YOU! 💜

[@glofacekilluh]

These videos always land right when I need them. You've been guiding me for years now. I share your videos with struggling friends, My gratitude for you is so immense. Thank you.

[@quantafitness6088]

I get so calm as you speak. Thank you so much for this video 🙏🏼

[@JOSClaudess]

Just wanna say here how amazing it is what you're doing, this is SO helpful!

[@richardwilsonavena]

IT IS SO HARD to do this consistently. I have been trying to use defusion for years and always seem to forget to use it until I come across a video or article about it.

[@rowanstarling3816]

Same.

[@joanie1537]

Emma, these short videos are great! You are able to explain and give solutions in a very understandable and to the point way. Thank you!

[@jasmineleigh0328]

You have no idea how much this helped me, and so many of your other videos. When people can’t afford therapy they often go to the internet, and you are providing such amazingly helpful information. I appreciate everything that goes into these videos, all that you do and and all that you have done. Thank you so much. ❤

[@ktrmeadow]

Emma, your sharing of the talents has helped me in huge quantities. Thanks for the continued professionalism and production. So appreciated!

[@alizaghimire743]

I always look forward to your videos.Thank you for putting this out for free. You are a true healer.

[@parkin8595]

You’re such a nice and kind person, positively impacting the lives of so many. Thank you

[@1156Treecat]

You have been an immense help with my anxiety issues. This one was one of my favorites!! Thank you so much, Emma!!

[@HoneyWindbutton]

Best mental health person on KZbin. Thank you !

[@L_W748]

As an MFT student/trainee, I absolutely love your channel ❤ It has been super helpful and makes me look forward to getting into the field and helping people!

[@ianmontoya6869]

Thank you so much for all of your wonderful videos and sharing your knowledge. Watching your videos, along with one on one therapy has literally changed my life! The way that you break down these concepts, and explain it in a way that is so understandable is absolutely miraculous. You have literally changed my life for the better and I just want to thank you. What you’re doing is literally changing peoples lives. And I am living proof. Thank you so much.!🙏🏼

[@EricCosner]

I love this! Eckhart Tolle sometimes tells this story about the Beggar and the Gold which seems to relate to this concept of Cognitive Defusion. He refers to the thinking mind being a beggar, but the observer in his case was referred to as "I am" without any words after it, or said another way, the practice of mindfulness where you explore your thoughts as just thoughts instead of identifying with them. Great video! Thank you! I hope I can continue to practice this technique as sometimes I go down the rabbit hole of unnecessary processing, where I would be better served by adjusting my thinking and cancelling out these thoughts which aren't serving me.

[@elisabethclarke4633]

Thank you so, so much for these teaching videos❤ I came across this You Tube channel recently and this is incredible. I am a nurse and struggling with anxiety, finding your teaching style and enthusiasm and positivity very helpful. Truly appreciated😇

[@lovetobe30]

This video came at the right time!! I have been trying for years to stop overthinking. After seeing this video, I finally can have a little peace of mind! Thank you!❤❤❤

[@carolina6683]

Love your videos, Emma, thanks so much. I've noticed huge improvements in my mind activity since I started meditating - observing thoughts, rather than feeling pressure to clear the mind. Love from Spain ❤

[@AndrewJTCooper-ks1ng]

This is exactly what I dealt with on many different things for years. I never could understand what it was.

[@patrickgans2]

What a perfect lesson. This is EXACTLY how anxiety goes for me!

[@katherine_art05]

❤ thank you. I also realise that KZbin sometimes is not helping me! I have to have boundaries with it so much information about many topics, and sometimes I get more overwhelmed and overthink because they are always sending videos about why you have to heal and fix yourself.

[@petermuller4265]

Been watching on and off for over 2 years. You have helped a lot.

[@JohannaVeerenhuis]

Thank you Emma! It’s so funny, the humor part is what works/worked for me! I’m a caricature artist and exaggeration is of course a huge part of that. When I found myself afraid to walk through the cute little lane behind our farm once, I imagined myself crawling through it… that made me giggle and all went better!

[@johnwhite3493]

😅

[@jahkarl7376]

Thoughts and emotions pass like clouds in the sky. Or leaves on a stream.

[@christinechapman9764]

I'm having the thought that this was a pretty useful video.

[@peonypink9149]

This is so helpful and so simple. Being in the observer self is such a relief from being chased around by being inside thoughts. Especially while under pressure ……. Love your channel ❤

[@donnacostarella4241]

I’ll always love listening to you. Thank you for all you do.

[@micahclegg4569]

😊thank you! Been struggling with this for YEARS! Heavenly Father pointed me to this. ❤

[@Mem-antiquedealer]

Thank you for all the videos. I feel like first time l can able to listen , watch and move my thoughts around and have a breathing space and feel happy and confident. 🙏🏻💕

[@TheSjstokes]

Thank you so much, this has been so helpful ❤

[@paulamages2036]

Thank you so very much!! You have great ideas!!

[@phumezayamani3746]

I'm glad I came across this video...I can Totally relate....been suffering from overthinking for quite some time now

[@AudioTruyenLangQue]

I love how all of these medical mysteries have something to do with food! Thank you so much for sharing these with us

[@Sk8Hound64]

OMG this is me. It interferes with my ability to think logically and rationally especially in critical situations.

[@MyDave3000]

You are a breath of fresh air totally love you xxx

[@mikedecastro9806]

Love the sports commentary analogy. Perfectly accurate.

[@OneLegitBadAsh]

Thank goodness for you and all that you share, Emma. You have, honestly, contributed so much to my life. I went through an awful PPD with my second child back in 2021 & 2022, and with you, your knowledge, and generous heart... I survived. Again, thank you for taking so much time and energy and giving it to so many "strangers on the internet". You're wonderful. Bless and happy vibes your way!

[@antoninaumali1422]

I JUST ONE TO LET YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE BEST TEACHINGS ABOUT PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDER. THE MOMENT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH YOUR SYSTEM DURING ATTACKS, YOU WILL ACTUALLY STOP PANICKING. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW THANKFUL I AM MADAM. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH❤

[@tonyjono2148]

Many thanks ,I am going through a hard time at the moment but having you just a few clicks away helps a lot.😊

[@user-rw3qq5lm2t]

I love your videos, thank you, Emma❤

[@kayfjones23]

This was helpful, like immediately applicable helpful! Thank you - looking forward to watching more of your videos.

[@soundhealingbygene]

This is by far the only skill I've learned that alleviates all the overthinking. Getting a book about the act workbook. I bite my lip as a way to comfort my anxiety been doing that way too long.

[@elyssapiker2165]

Thank you so much your videos are always so insightful and helpful!

[@2736492821]

oh that's one of the mindfulness practice called "mental noting and labeling" so cool!

[@Lisa-mp7ig]

Thank you so much for this reminder.

[@TonyaA7]

Thank You Emma for this information.. Thoughts are just thoughts and they are not who we are..

[@gstlynx]

Thanks. Your relaxed and confident presentations, regardless of the content, are very reassuring.

[@duanereising3026]

Cognitive diffusion... WOW thank you so much ... I needed to hear that today...

[@elaineborn6135]

Thank you so much for this video.

[@potatoeggplant3535]

this is so immensely helpful. thank you so much.

[@yu-fujoe837]

Sometime i struggle with situation you mention at the beginning of video!! Thanks for sharing.

[@sugarwafflescaffeine]

Thank you for everything that you do ❤

[@jamesmurphy3219]

The biggest benefit that emerges from learning to notice your thoughts is the creation of space. This is huge and creates some breathing room in the mind.

[@joelyisdoingherbest]

I love these videos. Thank you so much!

[@rolandovillareal4385]

Thanks Emma!❤

[@doctoralisonjohnson]

The example you gave at the beginning of the ballerina patient sounds like she was suffering from OCD, which is, of course, an anxiety disorder. Having OCD myself, I just want to mention that much of the advice you give in the video is great, but OCD is a pretty complex disorder that requires the help of a therapist and different kinds of techniques. I just want to point out that the flavor of OCD anxiety is harder to manage by yourself and it sucks. A lot of the techniques my own therapist has given me mirror what you offer in the video. Sometimes they help, and oftentimes I feel like there's a part that's missing for me having OCD. I am looking into inference based CBT now. Thanks for all you do, I love your channel.

[@OLYsounds]

your videos are a gift! Thank you so much!

[@MisterFudan]

wow, this woman gets me !!

[@stellarfrosting]

This video was really helpful, Thank you very much for sharing this. It is appreciated! :)

[@barbarasparks3419]

Your therapy is so helpful

[@monio.9444]

I do this too. Especially when i buy something more costly, i obsess for it and research for days or weeks and even after i buy the thing i keep trying it and keep stressing and wondering if i made the right choice, if maybe I'll find a better one after i decide to keep this one etc. 😅 In the end I just get so exhausted from it, I don't even care anymore, I just want it to end.

[@meagan2828]

Thank you so much❤

[@patricklapinski1526]

ACT has literally changed my life. I went from doing cbt for about 2 years with no progress to practicing ACT and seeing an ACT therapist and having my life 180 in the span of 6 months

[@elflakeador09]

I dove Act for 3 and a half years and it really works

[@maza9575]

Thank you for this ❤

[@y4nn1ck33]

You are great!

[@droppedonmyhead3522]

It’s mental Judo. It’s Overcoming a larger stronger opponent without resisting by using the opponents own momentum against them. In this case the stronger opponent is our thoughts and anxiety. Since we mentally cannot match our own might against our own intrusive thoughts, the answer is to use our intrusive thoughts own might against it.

[@laurenl720]

Another great video. ❤

[@texasteatime]

Yes, this helps. Thank you.

[@jasonyoung8509]

Thanks!

[@yn5633]

i luv these videos sm, thank u❤😭

[@lindalevy396]

Would love more on this topic. And how do we know when to believe our thoughts and when not to?

[@naynays1206]

Thank you! ❤

[@RegularOlSammy]

Thank you!

[@rufoichonii6265]

Thanks for this it helps me a lot

[@TheHk4eva]

Wow you are Amazing!

[@klaus_poppe]

Thank you.

[@daphnekapsambelis8790]

Thanks

[@terryowens169]

down-to-earth, convincing, no BS. Thank you.

[@ars1968]

Congrats Emma, your videos are very insightful and have a impact on anyone who wants to make a change in their mental make-up. Keep up the good work 😊❤

[@otismeotisme7987]

Thanks for your Amazing Inspiring Lesson 🙏❤😊

[@urdude67]

I like the camp counselor schtick. I forgot what it was like to have a good one, and be in her merry band. Thank you.

[@louisefalconerfalconer9732]

Good point

[@user-kf1st7vg4q]

I wish you was around when i was younger..it would of saved me alot of years x

[@mushtiar_Engineer]

I can’t stop I’m all time overthinking 😢

[@hexboxx735]

You're not on your own. I understand the struggle it will get better

[@Michelina22]

I can so see you as a camp counselor !! ✝️

[@PaolaTourGuide]

Thank you❤

[@shadowstar3739]

When I heard her say "..the upcoming ___ we need to do" I instinctively, in my head, went "AH!!" out of fear. Upcoming things are terrifying.

[@cherylbarrel9966]

Pathological demand avoidance

[@cherylbarrel9966]

It's something to Google. It helped me understand some of my own fearful reactions.

[@ruzindajoel6233]

I wish I could like this video more than once my take home... if I ever find myself in a tag of war with my thoughts.."your aren't that smart, no am smart" pulling the rope back and forth the best choice is to let go of the rope, no one wins no one loses

[@shubpatil123]

I am really very thankful towards you mam❤ lots of love to you ❤