Why don’t men like 4C Hair? I ranked all hairstyles and who I attracted in each one.

[@hoosieraussis1]

This has also been my experience with men. I think of my natural hair as a filter to weed out problematic individuals with internalized anti-blackness.

[@hild-demongoddess7498]

deep...do you get more attention intraracially or interracially ?

[@hoosieraussis1]

Both, but I definitely get the platonic complements from black men when my hair is in a more kinky state vs. hit on by non-blacks. Platonic complements are nice too. Maybe with time, more black men will more deeply internalize that appreciation for natural hairstyles and go beyond platonic appreciation. In the meantime, I wear my hair the way I prefer it. Ultimately I want to appear attractive to those who find me attractive, not me only in a done-up state.

[@bunnyboo6295]

I stay natural to also weed shallow people out. Sadly, majority of people will dislike over hair texture alone because on the rare days I wear straight more people are polite.

[@lavellans]

Well said. Rejection can be a blessing

[@LG-universe]

See the hair will let you know. 😄

[@lboogi]

In high school, I once had a boy in one of my classes hit on me on the day after I got my hair silk pressed. Meaning my hair was now down my back. I said to him.. yesterday you wouldn’t even talk to me, what gives? He said, well yesterday you were ugly. Literally nothing had changed except that my naturally curly hair that I generally kept in a ponytail was now straight and long. So I told if I was ugly yesterday, then I can continue being ugly today; and sat in my seat.

[@CrystalRose1111]

Oh hell naw lmao

[@msrjjon]

That's right! Keep that same energy! He sounds like trash.

[@fruitsarelife7073]

Good response! Straight hair attracts Idiots.

[@lboogi]

@@fruitsarelife7073 totally does! Lol

[@TiarreaB.Naturally]

Wow! That's crazy. You handled that very well. You are beautiful, curly or straight hair.

[@PurpleBean-cm3pl]

"IM BLACK MIXED WITH BLACK...GOODBYE"🤣🤣🤣🤣 love it

[@Animaine7030]

This is the way

[@LG-universe]

That part!

[@Nerdylady]

I know, that’s some BS. Lame

[@robossthinking1056]

LMFAOOO FR 😂😂😂😂😂👏👏👏👏😂😂😂😂

[@MayMay-el4wg]

@Trinity M …l hear you and agree to an extent. I am Creole and proud of being Creole. I have done all l could to help darker colleagues in the sisterhood. I’m tired now. My kids are grown and my cape is ragged. I’m officially retired from work, as a parent, and as the optimist and encourager to other women. I’m on vacation with my man, loving and appreciating life. My hair is now long again and l wear it loose most of the time. I avoid the sun because l truly like my light skin color and l’m exercising more to retain the slimness l was born with. It’s time Black women everywhere got it together. The victim hood era is over! Love who you are or don’t. 💖💖💖✌🏽

[@sharskyes4557]

The same ones who hate 4c hair. Have the same hair texture growing out of their head. Make it make sense.

[@alexisf22]

It’s the internalized self- hate that we black people have been brainwashed with

[@ladybird491]

They cut it down to hide that they have it

[@sijayjay601]

Omg yes

[@Tay144-fb5qp]

Lol...youve weeded them out

[@jogreen7]

Self hate. They don’t feel comfortable in their own hair and cant stand to see someone else embrace it

[@Crawfordsfive]

Best decision I ever made was to embrace my kinky frizzy 4c hair texture. It weeds out so much nonsense. And yes, mostly NON black men were (and still are) the ones who hit on me the most. It really doesn’t bother me.. I say like my mom always told me “go where you’re celebrated” 💅🏾😂

[@flamboyant731]

I like that. I'm going to that myself. 🥰

[@-s-3508]

I noticed the same thing when I wear my hair.🤎

[@A2TRaNQuiLiiTy]

No one hits on you, no Elite nogga hits on you. Stop the cap and get off your high horse

[@kinglyduty]

If you have brothers then I hope your mom told them to "go where you're celebrated".

[@Tahiha]

THIS.

[@stickmove6842]

As a black man, this was kinda sad to here cuz it’s probably true. She ain’t got no reason to lie. We gotta do better

[@Lucky-uz6jk]

Yeah yaw do …. I’m 50 in a couple of weeks & even my son is involved in this stupidity club & I’m like wt*** !!!! Yaw going all the way backwards

[@ForbsieLaLa]

@@Lucky-uz6jk my nephew is 12 and half Chinese but he likes when I wear my hair natural and simple braids because for some reason he thinks persons won't be as drawn to me and try to come between. It is so strange because he isn't even at that stage of puberty.

[@fatudaniel7301]

Hear***

[@balad.9757]

This is fascinating. You really got something here. This would make a great social documentary.

[@WholeHeartily]

In the words of Drake *clears throat “MUH-FUGGAS NEVER LOVED US!!!”

[@ttdeity5869]

Ahhhh Texturism within the black community it’s definitely a thing

[@feliznavidad6958]

No such thing as texturism. It's just internalized racism.

[@ttdeity5869]

@@feliznavidad6958 i think texturism should be named in order to specify the aversion to kinky/coily hair and I do believe that it is a result of internalized racism within the black community

[@marie-francoiset9402]

@@feliznavidad6958 internalized oppression (not racism which engenders a power imbalance)

[@marie-francoiset9402]

@@ttdeity5869 internalized oppression (not racism which engenders a power imbalance)

[@iidentifyasaPSLGoddess]

There's no such thing as texturism, yall black in people in America just be calling anybody black. As a Nigerian everyone had 4c hair. Everyone. Highest is a tight 3c.

[@bkchic8824]

Let's be real here. Collectively BM do not like natural hair. I'm not saying all or every single individual BM in America. But a huge number of them do not like natural hair. I get the same treatment when I silk press my natural hair, all of a sudden BM notice me. Verses my natural hair, they act like I don't exist. Its just plain ol anti-blkness at the end of the day. On the other hand, I always get compliments from non-blk people with my natural hair. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@clerbie]

was coming here to say this basically. The more "exotic" you seem (blue contacts, straighter hair, lighter skin etc etc that everyone has been taught to revere but are not usually natural to BW?) the more interest BM seem to be? but non black ppl see us all as black (like only black peeps have ever called me an oreo but im just black to everyone else?) I currently have neon orange box braids, and i get a lot of comments, but only really get comments from women when i have my hair naturally curly? also im in NYC so its def not like ATL

[@UnaLatinaPelirrizada]

@@clerbie I've noticed this! For the Black community, perceived distance from Blackness (lighter skin, looser curls, etc) is deemed exotic. But for non-Blacks, it is the perceived "undiluted" Black features that are exotic to them... There's nuance to this of course because anti-Blackness is in all non-Black communities too, but this is enough of a trend that many of us notice. But if you talk about it, many Black people will just gaslight you

[@Sondersun]

I haven’t had this experience but I’m aware that it’s most likely that I have loose curls instead of tighter curls like ppl expect

[@smilealwaysnatasha3423]

Black men have a lot of deep rooted issues it seems…. Well some

[@CrystalRose1111]

@@UnaLatinaPelirrizada Of course they gaslight. It’s honestly a very difficult conversation for our people to have, no one wants to unpack internalized racism lol

[@aijouefranklin6273]

I remember a girl saying that natural hair is f**k boy repellent and I laughed because oh how true it was😂😂😂

[@toomuchinformation]

Brilliant.

[@lolab1917]

Girl it is definitely dust repellent as well.

[@D13vest]

Is that based on skin color?

[@charmeika14]

True! Cause my man LOVES my hair, especially when I don't big chops lol & he's a black man (i had to edit that part)

[@corichin2156]

@@charmeika14 For real. Shout out to fellow brothers that love everything about black women!

[@patrice6139]

I'm dating a guy who is Asian and tells me he loves how my natural hair feels and looks. He helps me take down my hair when it's time for wash day and admires it when I style it in an afro or even in a puffy ponytail. There are definitely men out there who appreciate our natural 4C hair. ❤

[@meisbf]

Yes but most of the time it’s people outside our race

[@chanmarr8118]

@@meisbf I think that comes down to be being attracted to people who are different to what we’re use to or grew up with. I like to date outside my race and often drawn to people who are into different things.

[@hiddengem4293]

​@@meisbfPerhaps this could be our blessing.

[@meisbf]

@@hiddengem4293 not for me I want to date inside my race respectfully

[@neamccree7953]

That's nice to hear

[@NotKekePalmer]

YES to all of these hair styles and the responses to each. It's actually insane. My fro attracts older black women, white people who remember the 80s and their wish to return to that era, and absolutely no black men except the ones who are trying to sell me some skewed history about being the "original jews."

[@msgigglesbaby]

This the one!!!

[@schoolwerk3744]

🤣 Are we the same person?? Because this is hella accurate!

[@tatianamahogany]

I'm gagggingggggggggg at the "original jews" part omg lmaooooooooooo

[@KilonovaBurst]

Lol dang we are the original jews now...just last year we were the original native Americans.....at this rate we are gonna be the original ppl of Mars .

[@karacee5481]

Lmaoooo! The accuracy 😂

[@colbinicole561]

So wild how we get treated differently by different people, depending on our hair styles

[@bunnyboo6295]

People always denied it, but I had to live through it. Perhaps it went ignored because I wear natural most the time. Maybe I need to bring up stuff while hair silky for people to hear.

[@lm2082]

So true

[@Laura-sg6ss]

It exposes the truth about texturism embedded in society. One could do a whole hypothesis and test it globally too. Lol.

[@teahgurl]

PRECISELY. I become very offended inside when a white coworker compliments me on my pressed hair

[@hayhaton]

you are right and also you have beautiful hair ❤️

[@kyleesmileyXD]

I love it when people show me who they really are. Makes it easy

[@arieljanee.18]

no fr

[@jesusisgodislove9912]

🤷🏽‍♀️ When I was in 8th grade I relaxed my hair suddenly overnight. I had type 4b/c hair. Boys that NEVER looked at me suddenly were flirtatious. Every girl was complimenting me saying "wow, you are pretty NOW." I was so shocked. My day felt ruined actually. I didn't know my natural bun was that much of a turn off. 🥴

[@sharonbalbina825]

Oh this comment was triggering😅 I totally forgot I had my own little princess diary moment I'm high school (4a hair but still)

[@elofton777]

We must learn to feel confident. Once you arrive here, you will know it because it will not matter. The right one will show up. Be happy the race doesn't matter.

[@stephaniec.1144]

I heard a woman say once "Go where you're appreciated." everyone is beautiful to someone, don't try to conform to someone else's beauty standards. Be beautiful to yourself first 🙂

[@ChocolateBabe_]

As a dark skinned woman who has similar experiences as you especially in Las Vegas in the land of the exoticals, my hair is a very lose texture it looks like a Spanish wave but I’m very dark skinned and look similar to you and black men would tell me I must be mixed with something because I look like a ‘foreign’ black girl. It’s not you it’s them and the social conditioning that has occurred due to colonialism

[@moethemoon]

That’s when It occurs to me that people need to get out more. Danielle is very beautiful but she has one of the common west African phenotypes. Not central, not east or south. It’s especially apparent when she smiles, and no amount of straight hair takes away the resemblance 😍

[@ChocolateBabe_]

@@moethemoon most black people have west African phenotypes… that’s where the ancestors are from but if you have a different curl pattern other than 4c that doesn’t take away from the phenotype but it will change how ppl treat you more so how black men will treat you

[@tsuyuasui7297]

Omg that happens to so many darkskinned black women who happen to have a looser curl of hair...it's so weird

[@tsuyuasui7297]

​@Moe The Moon to me Danielle just looks like a mixture of different west african ethnicities, like most Black Americans. But I don't really see the point in your comment since most Black people in america have that specific phenotype too😭?

[@ChocolateBabe_]

@@tsuyuasui7297 it is weird I get asked all the time “ where are you from” I’m from Atlanta myself nothing spectacular but because many black men lack any type of knowledge about black women being able to have ALL TYPES OF HAIR AND CURL PATTERNS and the colonialism that has their balls in a choice hold , they get shocked when they actually see a pretty black woman with a biracial looking curl pattern and find that more attractive than a pretty black woman with 4c hair it’s sickening really

[@soliderforthelord364]

We as black women are the ONLY women who have to constantly think about our hair. And not because we want to 🤦

[@annasolovyeva1013]

Not the only. In my culture, hair is a big cultural thing. So there are women who think the hair is the most beautiful thing a woman has, and if the hair is too thin, too thick or something, it's big problems for the person. School teachers telling everyone to braid up (every morning). Girls rebelling against the braiding. Shaving your hair or getting buzzcut as a woman is like a protest against the society as a whole. Wearing your hair long after a certain age is also considered inappropriate. A whole lot of hair controversy around. Hair and relationship status. Hair and aging. Hair and public transport. The hair of many of our women is naturally basically dirty grey coloured, so everyone dyes it. And me... My hair is like 2C 3A wavy curly fluffy mess going in any direction it wants, super thin hair in the amount worth for three people, it's hand-thick when grown out and braided. Part being locks, part being waves, on a humid day fluffs up to the point of being a cloud and not keeping any hairstyle shape. I'm constantly being told to brush, but it only makes it worse.

[@DJPoundPuppy]

We don't. I don't...

[@mooreholistic]

"What am i going to do with my hair?" I'm contemplating going to the grocery store. Ain't that sick.

[@why4654]

Why do you need to think about your hair? Do you have lice or what?

[@girlofanimation]

In Fiji (and other Melanesian countries), a lot of women also have 4C hair. But I get what you're saying. Most Black American women have to deal with constant discrimination and anti-Black sentiment from not only non-Black society, but also from our own communities' men. We're constantly being judged, so we are very aware of our hair.

[@dejamesola]

If any man doesn't like you in your natural state....STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM!! Don't allow their problem to become your problem. The only thing that saddens me about this issue is how a BW may become Insecure because of the opinion of someone else...especially the opinion on a few BM. What we as BW have that make us Unique, was given by our creator DO NOT insult the work of God's hands to satisfy the fragile mind of man! 👌

[@audreywright1101]

Amen! For Real! Later for Limped minds! SHINE Up! 🐾🦊😉

[@Misspattylove7]

Best compliment. God created hair.

[@hiddengem4293]

​@@Misspattylove7In Jesus Name, yes.

[@neldormiveglia1312]

As a white woman with naturally straight hair, I'll never understand the hate 4C hair gets. 4C hair is STUNNING and I find it so beautiful how much it can "shapeshift" depending on the hairstyle. It is very versatile (though I'm fully aware of how time consuming it can be as well!).

[@stephaniepierre11]

oh wow, thank you nel :)

[@HappyMomma412]

Thank you.

[@Kotoki07]

I feel the same way. I was surprised when i saw my black friends daughter with her natural fro the first time, i asked why she never lets her daughter wear it fluffy because it looks so beautiful. She said she didn't want other black people to judge her parenting. 😂 i was like "how and whyyyy hide this big and beautiful hair???" If i would have that hair texture i would wear it out and be proud!!! 😂😂😂 imagine having an afro and BOOM enter a room like HELLO look at me!!! The audacity!!! More black people should do it! 🫶🏻

[@hazeljust7001]

It’s the multi century subjugation of our hair

[@kwilson4125]

@neldormiveglia1312 and expensive!!! And it inhibits many career advancements.

[@anndeecosita3586]

I’m glad she mentioned a lot of older black women compliment her hair because there is a stereotype that all older black people hate natural hair. Growing up many of the older women in my extended family either didn’t get relaxers or didn’t always have relaxed hair the whole time I knew them. I remember seeing my mom in a fro as a child. When I decided to cut off my relaxed hair I asked her to cut it for me. No one in my family cared I stopped getting them.

[@fruitsarelife7073]

I was treated like a different human being when i went natural and colored my hair honey brown. From invisible to a lot of attention. Super weird. Nothing else about me changed. What a superficial world.

[@toomuchinformation]

I remember reading about a depressed white woman whose friend suggested that she dye her hair blonde to just shake things up a bit, maybe raise her mood. She did so and hey presto! she got a lot of male attention. However, this only depressed her even more.

[@fruitsarelife7073]

@@toomuchinformation yeah i can definitely relate to that. Some men care litteraly only about the hair color and nothing else about you. Because it looks exotic. I would not bleach my hair to keep somebody either. So it’s basically useless. I was young back then and i would never change anything about my natural beauty.✨And i met someone who ONLY wants my natural Beauty now😂❤️

[@toomuchinformation]

@@fruitsarelife7073 It's not just about the hair colour; it's what it represents. I've also read that for some men being Blonde means being seen as more approachable and more easy sexually. However, it is also the gold standard of beauty worldwide, so it's an interesting contradiction.

[@bunnyboo6295]

@@toomuchinformation Yep blondes gets more attention as due long or silky looking, another thing that makes a huge difference is weight body shape

[@amberpalmer3708]

@@fruitsarelife7073aww the end!! So cute, wishing you and your loved one the best ❤

[@nazikiwe8259]

My sister who lives in Baltimore where there are a lot of naturals, once said that natural hair is a way to weed out a b!#$&-a$$-n!&&@... I totally agree 😁 I prefer a black man like my hubby who does not have internalized racism.

[@yaadapaah887]

lol

[@mashona518]

Funny my brothers said the same thing! 🤣

[@libfuzzy4629]

Rejection is protection

[@Yougotthis1212]

👏 👏 👏

[@sunshineand]

Its facts

[@nightshade9754]

I recently big chopped. Going thru a separation. Realizing I'm not getting attention from bm. Just compliments from women. And that's ok. I'm tired of hiding under wigs and weaves. They complain when u wear fake hair. And complain when u don't. At the end of the day bm have never loved or treated me well. It's time i love me, embrace me, and find my own beauty. If they don't like it who cares.....probably means they got self hate issues anyways. I'm in a healing time in my life. I'm leaving the dysfunction of unrealistic European beauty standards behind. Gotta love self.

[@larabraver]

Yes, this !! Proud of you 👍

[@audreywright1101]

​​@@larabraveroney, people( other humans) with this type disposition, feel sorry for them! They're "not confident in their " own skin! " You don't Need People " of that sort " to be around you! Be Around Positive Humans that " Get it! " Based on your Character, not " colorism, European Beauty or Asian Beauty Standards! " " Erase Embrace Get It Face! " They Get It!" SHINE 🦊🐾😉

[@carlac9782]

I love this comment. My wishes for you....go your own way in peace and protection. I am doing the same.

[@NoRockinMansLand]

You should live yourself, and if may sound like bs but there are bm out there who see and acknowledge the beauty of your natural hair

[@vava8545]

Amen!

[@MsDanyelleM]

This texturism is real to the point that it was literally the end of a non relationship for me. This red bone fella actually said if I took care of my hair we could be a power couple. He'd seen pictures of my former permed self and that was the death of acceptance for my current natural chocolate self. I'd rather be a power single thanks! I thank every God that sent my current man into my life. I was complaining about shrinkage one day and that man asked if cutting it shorter would make it easier for me! Now it's halfway to my butt on the rare occasion I straighten it. He didn't give a hot damn about what the hair was doing. He cared about me. When I try to "control" it, he pulls it out of constraints like he is saving the curls from my efforts. Real grown man right there! He is so comfortable with my texture that when put that bonnet on for bed he says WHY and steals it off my head. Causes mad tangles but I'm madly in love with him for accepting how I was made.

[@suraangel6956]

This is so so sweet!!!!

[@LisePlansandJournals]

Let me guess, he isn’t black?

[@MsDanyelleM]

@@LisePlansandJournals wrong! He is darker than me. Lol, if I'm milk chocolate he is semi sweet. But I get where you are going with that. I unfortunately did find that I became a white boy fetish. A few key questions could usually weed out the wanna be slaver cosplayers but one slipped through the cracks years ago. When I contemplated intimacy a few weeks in he self weeded by saying he couldn't wait to see if the downstairs was as wild as the upstairs. Contemplation over.

[@karithewarlock]

i love that for yall! im in a similar situation as your man however my girl hates her natural 4a hair. i think its so pretty but she refuses to wear it out. she mainly wears wigs & faux locs or straightens her hair. how do i get her to appreciate her hair as much as i do?

[@saphire2214]

I’ve been using my natural locs as a filter to weed out anti black men for almost a decade and I love it. It makes dating so much easier and saves me from a lot of hurt… and that’s sad.

[@quickpstuts412]

It seems a lot of BM like locs, though....especially if they are long due to the way they "hang" and "flow". Maybe not the shorter or mid-length ones as much.

[@saphire2214]

@@quickpstuts412 A lot of black men SAY they like locs. There's a difference. I always say watch what men do, not what they say. The truth is, most black men are intimidated by black women with locs because they know they need to approach you differently; With reverence, with respect and with something to offer. It's a little known secret that only women with locs understand all to well. The men who don't want or can't meet you where you are, will simply not approach. They will pursue women with wigs, weaves, laid edges etc.. Of course i'm generalizing but this has been my experience and the experience of most women in the loc community that I've spoken to about this very topic.

[@quickpstuts412]

@@saphire2214 I definitely hear you! I hear mean all day talk about how they hate weave but if you look at most men, that's who they are with. And the same way with natural hair. I wear my hair in it's kinky state and I definitely get a different type of man approaching me. Less dusties...and I'm OK with that! LOL Also when a lot of men say they like "natural hair" they just mean straight without weave. They don't truly want it too natural if you know what I mean!

[@tikabell966]

I get the same treatment Danielle. When I permed my hair I got so many compliments. As an adult I decided I wanted to live out my childhood dream to wear my natural big fluffy hair so I did and was met with much criticism from family and the community that I needed to "do something with that" or "comb that nappy mess". Guys don't approach me much anymore and I asked my guy friends what gives and they said my hair looks great and nothings wrong but I can't help but feel there's something else to it. I silk pressed my hair and got so much attention and an abundance of compliments. I was sad and po'd. Now I have refused to wear my hair straight. My hair is beautiful and so is yours Starpuppy ❤

[@bunnyboo6295]

You know what's crazy a job I had a boy thought my hair was fake and complimented. When I told him it was natural, I got a disgusted look person avoided me after. It seems many people prefer fake. When you do yourself up or people believe you did you get respect when you roll out of bed show as you it seems to put people off. Not sure the psychology behind it. One idea is that doing something that is not your natural takes more work time so perhaps shows you invest in self. walk in like you purposely chose every detail of your look seems to gain respect over just being. Not bother to change maybe is seen as lazy or not caring.

[@libfuzzy4629]

Your natural hair is stunning

[@wake5307]

Oh lord. Can’t tell you how many times I heard the “do something with that nappy hair” or some straight up referring to it as “n**ger hair” and the people who all told me this were black.

[@bunnyboo6295]

@@wake5307 Social training past down. fitting in Stright hair could up your status. natural hair can cost you getting hired. Personally, heard a story a hiring manger didn't hire the better skilled candidate over frizzy nappy hair. People will deny racism, but it happens. More so in the past. So likely what happen elders past down shaming others to hide their natural hair due to their traumas. Social conditioning

[@Source_Singing_God_is_in_Us]

@Tika Bell, YAAAY! I love that you stayed true to you!

[@raylubin]

As a black guy (who loves fluff nugget!) I usually just keep it at "I love your hair" and choose to not go any further than that unless it's someone close to me/someone I know well

[@stickmove6842]

Facts

[@baconloverrpa]

@@stickmove6842will see attached I will see seeing al see all the I wil see a need t see a full goo goo goo I will see all I see all see a full see a full I left a good see a l see al see all see All see all I see all I L see all I see all I see a full week p.p

[@butterflyangel75]

“Fluff Nugget'I never heard of that but its cute 🥰

[@TuscanWonder]

@@butterflyangel75 Starpuppy has used the term for at least 5 years my friend

[@jdfofree5510]

I love that you know Fluff Nugget's name and addressed her as such! 💜

[@Positive_Vibez_Only]

I have 4c hair. When I wear a wig men love me, non stop compliments. When I have my 4c ☁️ out no compliments. Black men , my own people, won’t compliment me, but the women do 😊. The men would ask me when I’m getting my hair done or my next wig install smh. However white men and sometimes Latino men would approach me and compliment my ☁️. Having natural hair saves you like you said from certain type of men . Different hair attract different men and I’m all for a man that love my ☁️ as much as I do. Oh and natural loc black men loves natural hair, specially twist , loc and braids. You’ll hear hey queen 👸🏿 hey empress all day 😂

[@hild-demongoddess7498]

do you do twist outs or just a blown out fro? and how long is it?

[@whatsonhermindblog123]

love your comment

[@Positive_Vibez_Only]

@@hild-demongoddess7498 I do twists out and no I don’t do blown out fro. I’m trying to stay away from the heat. When I get those compliments I had my hair in a puff or a wash and go. My hair isn’t long when stretch it almost reach my collar bone so in the back . When I stretch it in the front it touch the tip of my nose .

[@hild-demongoddess7498]

@@Positive_Vibez_Only what tiwist out cream do you use? And who does your natural hair attract the most?

[@Noire.Soleil]

Must be a location thing, where I live black men with locs prefer straight hair, not natural hair. It was a mind fuck to me lol.

[@shex7873]

I had the same experience. I think it’s because men like exotic women within reach. You are not exotic to black men but you are exotic to other men. And because you are slim. You fit their standard of beauty. Embrace who embraces you. Your natural self. ❤

[@TitaT]

I have 4C hair. I cannot force people to prefer my hair same way I cannot change my preferences for a cause..it is what it is. live your life, stay with people that genuinely find you attractive. You will be much happier not caring

[@lesliewit]

It's a combination of self-hate and the tendency to objectify women. It's really common, most black women have experienced this. The overlying message for black women is that they should be respectable love themselves be natural be real, but our interactions with black men tell us the opposite.

[@feliznavidad6958]

Men have no idea what they want and are hypocrites. One man on youtubw called out the fact that men what women to be sexually available but also virginal at the same time.

[@pocahontas4583]

Because usually when they’re saying they want natural they’re talking about natural hair that looks like European, hispanic, etc hair.

[@SunseedStarchild]

Very well stated

[@paatee8831]

It's not self hate as such. It's what we've been condition to believe is a esthetically accepted. Even in west Africa, girls will looser textures are complimented. 4c is always seen as unkempt or untamed. Also to be fair looser curls are easier to manage.

[@lesliewit]

@@paatee8831 we've been taught to hate ourselves because of certain traits that are natural to us. All over the continent of Africa, white supremacy has left its mark through colonization. This is why we colorism and texturism exist within black communities. All of those things are a part of self-hate. Finding women that look like the woman that bore you unattractive is just a deeper version of finding yourself unattractive.

[@nightshade9754]

I think you're prettier with your natural hair. Your skin and features are beautiful. Your personality adds to your attractiveness. Rock your natural beauty with pride!!!!!!

[@floresamor4146]

Please go further into this topic I have a very similar experience. I thought I was going crazy 😭 I had a really natural looking loose textured curly 3a/3b wig and the way people would break their ankles to run and tell me how beautiful my hair is But with my own natural 4c hair the experience is completely the opposite. Unless it was blown out to show its length

[@fae3821]

For real! I noticed that when I use to wear ponytails & box braids, the compliments acting like it's so exotic & the curiosity, "are u mixed" "ohh some good hair" Like please, I though it was clearly synthetic.

[@marajones1828]

I second this! I’ve had a very interesting disparity from being a silk press natural to big chop. Society really do be treating us so differently based on follicles! 😭

[@ladydede88]

I’m 33 and was natural back in the early 2000. You’re not crazy. A lot of them don’t like natural 4c hair. I get more attention in wigs then I did with fro. It could also be a length thing because no one talk to me when my locs where short then when they starting hitting my back I got a lil more attention from men.

[@bunnyboo6295]

@@marajones1828 Yep and when I used to speck about it people told me I was stupid, I do feel more ignored avoided while wearing natural. Can go from invisible to being seen by changing nothing but the hair.

[@celesteadeanes4478]

have u seen that tik tok tall dark lady stopping traffick w a big cloud of afro? model

[@1love847]

A white coworker asked me to touch my hair at work. I had no problem with it since it's rare to see natural hair where I live and work since most poeple wear extensions when twisting and braiding. She was respectful asking questions and I enjoyed sharing about it. It's my crown and glory. ☺

[@janayalaude6355]

I did a big chop and wore my haircut short in an afro texture for a summer. Gurl it was ROUGH!! I got called “sir” by a cashier at Walmart. I went home and cried.

[@fififlowertot177]

Girl I was misgendered last week in a charity shop. I feel your pain.

[@ms.j661]

Omg I’m so sorry that happened😢 😂

[@LDXReal]

I feel you, I got a baby face so when I wear my hair long I get misgendered, it sucks tbh society just gotta let Black people be happy with their hair

[@darlingeuh3574]

Please baby know that you are BEAUTIFULL no matter the length of your hair and fuck that cashier duh

[@trishasurangana2278]

People perceive short haircuts as traditionally masculine and therein lies the problem 😢

[@ForbsieLaLa]

What you spoke to is why there is still a struggle for black women to embrace their hair in it's natural form and when I say natural I do not mean silk-pressed. We are still shunned for our kinks/coils and curls by our own and still see smooth as the desired and we need to own that denial. I mean whatever works for everyone that's okay but let's look at it for what it truly is.

[@CosmicEremite]

Umm...literally no one is shunning the curls. That's what is most wanted and preferred. Don't try to drag the curly girls into this mess, we're not having the same issues and experiences.

[@ForbsieLaLa]

@@CosmicEremite when I say curls I mean from loose to tight no one is dragging any one anywhere. There is no need to defend anything..or is there

[@MayMay-el4wg]

You have to start in your own homes with moms, grandmoms, aunts, nieces, girl cousins, black women inlaws, etc. If the majority of BW in the BC is walking around in wigs or relaxed hair, you are subconsciously training your sons to prefer that texture.

[@libfuzzy4629]

They are not your own if they hate themselves . All skin folk ain't kin folk

[@nobumsleftbehindprteam4830]

​@Cactus Flower it's hard to " love yourself" when the community is set out on hating you. Self love is taught it doesn't just come out nowhere.

[@colleeneyre6588]

"You woulda think I was the first sliced bread" pure gold

[@dreyaleigh]

☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾🤣🤣🤣🎯🎯☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾

[@maleelechoongo6531]

A STAR PUPPY AND DEEPER THAN HAIR COLLAB!???!?! (Sorry, I know you dropped a lot of insights in this video, but I NEED this!!!)

[@maleelechoongo6531]

*the people need this

[@EpicRealistTV]

That would be super awesome!

[@mewmew6158]

That would be such a great crossover!

[@Momo-cd5pw]

It honestly is depressing when I get q silk press..and everyone is all over me. Or when I wear my hair naturally..I get the weird compliments. The compliments as if I was brave and strong for wearing my hair. Felt backhanded. Like can I just wear my hair without the.. "Oooh wow..love your natural hair..I could never do it..but good for you."

[@telepups28]

Wtf.. that's actually so weird lmao

[@oldssierra]

😂

[@ladybird491]

Exactly! I get looks like I am brave.

[@spiffy197]

Dang… this video hit the nail on the head smh. I can’t even remember ever being complimented by a BM when I have my natural hair out. But the compliments from BW and women and men from other races are countless.

[@libfuzzy4629]

Go where your appreciated rejection is protection

[@wake5307]

They be the same ones online saying how muuuuuuch the love natural hair. Pleaseeeee. 😂

[@Purplegoddess777]

Whoo man. Relatable. I went natural in middle school, in a predominantly black school. I never straightened my hair, but I did get braids from time to time. I was single till college... My partner wasn't black...🤷🏾

[@ForbsieLaLa]

Sadly we scream black but still shun our true blackness. All I kept thinking was don't come this month talking black history when you still afraid to not lay your edges or have some fly-aways because our hair does that once we outside

[@Purplegoddess777]

@@ForbsieLaLa I dunno what you mean.

[@ForbsieLaLa]

@@Purplegoddess777 I was saying as this a black history month if within the last 6 months you have not gone outside t least twice with your natural coils and are not afraid of not having to lay your edge and talk about others edges needed some edge help then you are denying your blackness so don't talk about celebrating black history because you are denying your true black state

[@Purplegoddess777]

@@ForbsieLaLa There are a lot of assumptions in what you said. I do not have a problem with my hair in its coily state. I have been natural for over 16 years and I have flat ironed my hair 2 times during that time. I do not understand what you mean about denying blackness. I personally don't do styles where I lay edges but I do not see it as a problem if others do. Laying edges is a very popular hair styling technique in African American culture. I don't know how that is tied to anti-blackness. I don't deny my blackness. The few times that I have talked about edges is usually about a receding hairline due to high tension styling. I celebrate all intersections of black history all year round. I do not understand where this critique is coming from to be honest.

[@Punyjacketb00]

@@Purplegoddess777 in black culture not just african american 🙂

[@Dancing_on_Kitten_Heels]

We can’t win. We may as well stop playing with them. What are we even losing? Walking away is actually an upgrade. However, bw have been jumping through hoops and constantly transforming for decades trying to look like bm want us to look. The reality is…. they don’t “prefer” us. We need to accept that and move on. Anything less screams desperation and that ain’t cute. It feels so much better being with someone that “prefers” me….my personality, my skin and my hair. Guys with regular jobs don’t think they’re the prize. They still court you. There are more non blk men in this country that want to date blk women than there are blk women here to go around. Go where you’re celebrated.

[@libfuzzy4629]

I agree especially because black women are gorgeous

[@trishasurangana2278]

Exactly!

[@mskay9597]

Facts 💯

[@bwslayer926]

Blk men having standards upset blk females that don't qualify. More blk females interracial mingle than blk men but blk men have the highest IR marriages than blk females. Its almost like nonblk males aren't lining up to marry blk females. I guess many of y'all will have to propose to them like Jodie Turner Foster.

[@bwslayer926]

Stop hiding your self hate behind "n-words ain't ish" narrative. Your type always desired to be with whíte/nonblack males from the beginning. That's why y'all loathe whíte women so much because whíte women are the main preference for many nonblack males. Also, black females with your mindset need to drop the blk girl magic talk and start saying mixed girl magic instead. Oh and don't try to forbid y'all sons from dating interracially.

[@ToyaF82]

I've noticed white men love when I have box braids or faux locs. They are so intrigued. It's kinda aggravating 🤣

[@jola2694]

aggravating?

[@ToyaF82]

@@jola2694 yes, because they always want to touch it.

[@tammeramiller43]

Just curious, why is it aggravating?

[@jaxthewolf4572]

Well better to be aggravated by compliments than angered by insults.

[@chitlinjuice]

White men LOVE some box braids honey. Middle Eastern men too. Idk what it is but I get hit on by them the most when I have my hair braided.

[@prodigalflower1178]

My husband despises wigs and weaves on me and prefers my natural, curly hair, afro, or braids! And after 29 years of marriage, I'm finally embracing my natural curls! ❤❤❤❤

[@HeyThereFromDC]

Firstly. You are GORGEOUS. Your skin is glowing! Secondly, I love when you said, “I look best with my natural hair, it’s almost like it was made for me.” This is so simple but so true. Congrats on your amazing hair! 💙

[@harleyharris7346]

Nah this girl is as nuts as me. I feel at home here! I swear I love her personality. Can we get lives, please? 🙏

[@prislaem3838]

She does do lives occasionally! Make sure your notifications are on so you don't miss them!👍

[@harleyharris7346]

@@prislaem3838 Thank you sistah! Clicking that notification 🔔 right now 😁

[@Carpathianpixie]

Lol, welcome to the weirdness!

[@Crystlstarrlight]

When my white teacher kept harping on how good my hair looked flat ironed and that I should "keep it like that." As an adult , I really wanna go back and run her fade lol. I get more compliments when my hair is out and natural. I think men are intimidated by women in general. 🤣

[@fruitsarelife7073]

They really are 😂

[@olly7242]

Go back and beat her ass sis😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Carpathianpixie]

And here I am, intimidated by them and thinking I'm not desirable because they don't approach me.

[@Crystlstarrlight]

@Carpathianpixie195 girl they are afraid of us lol. Trust me there's men out there who decided against approaching you because you were intimidating to them. 😮‍💨

[@toade1583]

How are men intimadated by women? Why would I be intimidated by you if you expect to to protect, provide and make basic decisions like picking a restaurant, asking out and setting up a first date. Is a bodyguard intimadated by a person who hired them because they couldn't protect themselves? If anything, it's women who talk about how scared they are of men.

[@michellepreston9799]

I think hair stylist also hate 4c hair. They are extremely aggressive with our hair. They over apply heat and are more than happy to cut way more hair than needs to be cut.

[@ohgreys15]

I had a stylist scoff at me and ask my why I would choose to wear my hair natural. She didn't know how to do any afrocentric styles but offered to perm or straighten my hair. 🙄

[@whitneyc.3257]

Soooooooo true!

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

@@ohgreys15 its so pathetic. and even among african stylists too they don't know how you "deal with" 4c hair.

[@moneypro85]

The additional fees and constant complaints are all of the evidence that I need to know this is true.

[@LonnieBhi]

Yes wearing short afro hair was definitely brutal, people were often rude to me or would out right stare. It seems short hair on a woman in general will offend most. It wasn't until my hair got long & started to hang that people became sort of friendlier. We truly live in a messed up.

[@FelinaFairyphonic]

I´m an autistic white girl and hair is one of my special interests. 4c hair is one of my favourite hair textures! whenever I see it, it makes my day. A friend of mine with 4c hair once cut her hair and gave me some as a present.

[@chidimmaakwaja3008]

Thanks so much

[@FelinaFairyphonic]

@@chidimmaakwaja3008

[@gg-sv5ob]

It’s so sad that those of us who were enslaved and colonized all over the world have been so psychologically impacted that we try to remake ourselves in the image of those who chose to oppress us, while looking down on anyone with the desire to love the self they were born with.

[@doll.ov.poetrii4682]

Say that!💯💯

[@denise8881m]

I watched the NAACP Image Awards last night and pondered this same point. They were celebrating image and how many blond wigs did I see?

[@Noire.Soleil]

Love this comment.

[@simplyroyalty7458]

True. I came from an island surrounded by black people and I remember vividly one guy telling me when am I going to do something with that ? (Pointing at my hair). I asked what's wrong with my hair? He said it's not straight😮. I told him it's natural nothing wrong with it.smh. Then another guy telling me directly when I'm I going to straighten my hair? Make it long and straight?. So antiblackness from black men are all over and it's sad.

[@stevelawson1388]

All races were slaves. Black people were enslaving each other for thousands of years before any "Dwight" man turned up to trade. Gtfo of here with your American propaganda

[@_DaisyLight_]

I love how you responded to the whole "intimidating" thing....go find the confident ones sis

[@Griot-Guild]

Yeah I made whole ass comment about it and then deleted because she was 100% right, I get intimidated asf fr

[@ace.of.space.]

the description of "Richard" gave me a good laugh

[@yanique2011]

For me, white men love and will go out of their way to compliment my natural hair. My silk pressed hair gets attention from black men. My hair in either state gets love from all women (cuz women are amazing 💕).

[@bwslayer926]

Tell me if white guys prefer blk females natural hair how come y'all need laws to wear y'all natural hair at work or universities?

[@higherrealms5309]

As a black professional with natural hair, I get unlimited compliments related to my hair by non-black men. I have locs now, so to be fair, black men compliment me now too. But before my locs and my hair was just natural, black men were looking elsewhere.

[@stagnantfox3027]

As a professional hairdresser I will say this, since you have a small but oval face, you 100% pull off most silhouettes whether it's the one you had the entire time during filming or the mohawk. Whenever hairdressers say things like "face framing" they usually mean contrasting shapes between your face and hair silhuette. A very round face will look even more rounder if you have a hairstyle that is incredibly round such as specific types of bob cuts or an afro that is too similar in size to your head. Same thing with very long faces, a mohwak on a long almost cone line head will absolutely make your face look even longer.

[@ForbsieLaLa]

It always baffle me that people with long faces always want to wear their hair down, because it makes their face look longer. I always wish they would get something that would round out their features some more because it lifts the face

[@stagnantfox3027]

@@ForbsieLaLa sometimes it comes from unwillingness to put much effort into your hair. This is why I always consult with clients about specific haircuts that you can only pull off if you actually style your hair, which some people didnt know they had to and thought that the style they leave the salon with will also be the same every time they wake up. There is no such thing as an effortless hairstyle.

[@ForbsieLaLa]

@@stagnantfox3027 That is true but the current wig trend is doing a lot of women a great disservice. Yes the wigs look magnificent all long and flowing but that might not be the best fit for a longer face. A shorter wig and up-do might be a better fit and I guess such a style will indeed take more time

[@stagnantfox3027]

@@ForbsieLaLa True, very true. Not to mention the stigma against wigs or toupee's. People need to grow up and realize it's not for them but for the person wearing it.

[@GreenGorgeousness]

​@@ForbsieLaLa people love long hair, it's considered coveted and feminine.

[@MoniqueLMontague]

Yes! Yes and yes! When I first took my braids out, I was 100% natural, as in no mo' relaxed anything! The FIRST person to compliment me was my strength trainer at my gym who is a white guy. I am have 4C hair. The second person I ended up marrying. And no, he isn't black either, he's Mexican. Wild isn't it?

[@libfuzzy4629]

Good for you

[@bwslayer926]

Its hair. Most blk men got better thing to do than worry about a stranger's hair. Plus, you're married to a Mexican guy, so blk men shouldn't be on your mind.

[@rosieisrighteous]

I was looking through the comments to see if anyone would mention this...girl you are really pretty. Like gorgeous actually. Guys could be shy to approach you, especially if they have made up assumptions about your personality based on how you wear your hair. I wish our hair didn't have to have soo much of an impact on how we are perceived but I guess it just does :/ Trust that you look stunning with your natural hair and that's what is actually "intimidating". As someone else in the comments said, find someone confident enough to handle all that beauty lol

[@whatsonhermindblog123]

YES

[@shymecha]

THIS!!

[@chrise7122]

Your right shes is very beautiful... let me tell you a lot of ppl are so stunned by beauty they dont know what to say or how to act... so often times they say nothing at all even tho some beautiful ppl like her who arent arrogant actually need to hear it. N let me just say there is so many women who couldnt walk a mile in 4c shoes... so when its long, big , healthy and free and you got the audacity to make look good and your beautiful AND you dark skin ??!!! Oh it commands silence ... so yes the lack of complements are not all bad they are in awe and dumb founded. We black girls just have to factor that in

[@janerecluse4344]

Seriously, people said I was intimidating in my prime, and I was roughly 2/3s that pretty on a good day. 😂

[@heathers7265]

I was just thinking that too! She's very beautiful! I think a lot of guys are intimidated, or assume she's taken, etc. 🤷‍♀️

[@msjigglypuff91]

I have 4c hair and it’s at a stage a little above a TWA. I’m pretty much invisible to everyone. I started wearing a “Kiki’s delivery service” red bow on my hair everyday recently. Now people notice me and say how “cute/adorable” it looks on me. I’d compare it when newborns wear those big bows on their bald heads 😂. No hair compliments though, and I’m ok with that.

[@Tay144-fb5qp]

💛

[@HelloWorldGoodbye]

Reminds me of the time I was at a club, and a guy unsolicitedly whispered in my ear, “I like girls like you that don’t need wigs”……child! I was wearing a whole wig! 😭😭💀💀💀 what a creep 😂😂😂😂

[@gabisgymporium]

Danielle! Why are we living the same experience? Let’s be totally real, our dark skin and features is not desired amongst the men in our community. Actually, it’s more to the likes of a repellent. All other groups of men outside of blackness generally think we are the most unique beings on planet earth. It’s such an interesting phenomenon.

[@AdelTheForsaken]

Fact! Billy and Zackary love my hair 🤷‍♀️

[@deej5608]

But that's the thing she has Keener features then more on the robust side of voluptuous lips and a fuller nose which is why they would ask her she was mixed if she had a different textured wig on but I totally get everything that you're saying

[@libfuzzy4629]

I just wish more black women would stop caring about what black men thought lol

[@gabisgymporium]

@@libfuzzy4629 LITERALLY!

[@Smithl325749]

@@AdelTheForsaken ...yes! Gary, Paul, and Dale Love my natural kinks. Floyd and Leroy do not, LOL.

[@peachmilkshake_]

Richard has me screamin!!! I can't even with the accuracy of the description

[@VICTOIREBIMBOU]

Sorry I'm actually a french girl and my english isn't perfect ( by the way, I sometimes practise with your videos)... You said you don't wear a round afro because "it's too long" as if it was a problem! Girl this is the kind of problems I'm looking for!

[@candicerachel5247]

It's mostly because she blows out her hair first

[@georginaasante1671]

A little unrelated but your English is great! Keep going!

[@Lissanicole444]

That’s why she blinked and looked at the camera lol. She wasn’t complaining.

[@daniellamiller1476]

I want that problem too ❤😊

[@audreywright1101]

She reminds me of the beautiful blk actress off of Queen Sugar! Beautiful Melanin! Celebrate! And by the way,to the human that said about "blow out of hair," you don't Always "blow out the hair!" Clearly, you seem Not to be "educated on Melanin hair and the different types!" We as Melanin can Wear Our Hair Whatever is Desired for Our Hair Type! That's, Regardless! 😉🦊🐾SHINE UP!

[@lydiamoo16]

Intimidation is exacccly right. Some men do not like partners that they feel are “too confident”, and people are shocked to meet a self loving black woman/person. I got the MOST attention from black men when I had long blonde braids. iccck. That was the last time for me, afro all the way 🙌🏾

[@Ronldbx6]

I'm a black man and I absolutely love when a woman is able to embrace her authentic self!

[@marcgabriel5096]

They will just ignore your message, look, I give the 1st comment since 8 month 😂😂

[@yk-who-it-is]

@@marcgabriel5096 Because that is the bare minimum... Was he supposed to get invited to the BET Awards or something? with your entitled ass.

[@marcgabriel5096]

@@yk-who-it-is this is not the bare minimum, haven't you seen people complaining in the comments? 😂

[@yk-who-it-is]

@@marcgabriel5096 Just because something is happening and people are speaking out on it doesn't mean that it's not the bare minimum. People 'complain' about killing but not killing someone is still the bare minimum of human decency. Wanting your partner to be their TRUE authentic self IS the bare minimum of being a partner whether you are a man or a woman.

[@yk-who-it-is]

and I find it very sad that think that loving your partner for who they are is a flex or something that one should be praised for. It says a lot about how skewed your expectations are for yourself and a partner or future partner and possibly indicates certain life experiences that you've had.

[@Yajirobeboo]

I thought it was just me! When I was a loose natural, I’ve had people giving me kind compliments and was approached more. But with locs, it’s like a repellent. They see my hair first and quickly look away🤷🏾‍♀️

[@toomuchinformation]

Oh wow! I guess if you want to repel people it's fine. Are locs and afros seen as political statements do you think?

[@charrialane2301]

I use to get that when I had locs. I would get dissed by my own, but get compliments from non blacks. It was the norm till the culture changed in my town, and my own started to give me more love.

[@shenadarling50]

This is why i am afraid of locs most people consider it ugly and disgusting

[@toomuchinformation]

@@shenadarling50 I'm prejudiced against them too. I don't like them on men. They look better on women. But then again, I don't like long hair on men generally.

[@caramelle86]

It was the opposite for me. When i was a loose natural hardly any compliments on my hair. Now that I have locs I get tons of compliments from men and women of all ethnicities. ❤

[@queenbae6396]

Your hair is gorgeous period! We love fluff nugget. To me you do look like a dark skin Indian woman with the straight wig. I don’t know why but that probably why they keep asking what you’re mixed with

[@vannahloveforever]

I will never know the difference because I got locs but having had chunky locs then combing them out and having small locs I do see the contrast in how both black peoples and white peoples approach me and/or don’t 😅 Hair is powerful. Especially in us Black woman because we can have on WHOLE disguises with a change of hairstyle. 😂

[@lavellans]

@@trinitym5552 truth! they have extensions even for the unnatural colours like electric orange sorbet

[@librarianrose4472]

I always wondered about treatment between Loc sizes!!

[@juratory8876]

​@@lavellansNot the electric orange sorbet 😂🤣

[@poushalighosh4661]

Your naturally hair is SUPERIOR OMG. You look ethereal when you wear it out. I hope you never have to substitute it for a wig

[@its.nyashia]

A few days a ago, I got the "what are you mixed with? You're really pretty" backhanded compliment for the first time. My hair was in faux locs, and i had to check him. I was like "so just because I'm pretty I have to be mixed?" and he tried to save himself by asking if my parents were from different states... in the same country. I said "you're really trying to save yourself and it's not working" lol then I found out he's black and hispanic, kinda makes sense why he thinks that way Also for the bad wig thing, I think it attracts older men because that's all they saw growing up. It looks normal to them and it probably makes you seem older because older women aren't wearing these crazy laid and slayed wigs

[@cutiepiea3687]

Or if you have 3c hair and your fully Nigerian they wanna swear you’re mixed…weird like black people cant have curly hair . It’s sad that the world doesn’t realise the reason why biracials have curly hair is due to their black side.

[@candygirl20048]

I’m mid-30s and have been wearing my natural hair since I was a teenager. Everything you’ve said is the truth.

[@jamaylaxo]

10:41 similar experience! I was talking to this guy. he’s black and on social media he seemed aaaallllll about uplifting black women. so while getting to know each other thru text he says the following 👨🏿‍🦱: u have gorgeous hair💕 its so pretty and u do a great job styling it 👩🏾‍🦱: awe thank you so much💓 👨🏿‍🦱: are you mixed or something? 👩🏾‍🦱: uhhh…why? 👨🏿‍🦱: i was just wondering bc i never seen a black girl with pretty hair like yours😩 👩🏾‍🦱: so i gotta be mixed to have well kept hair? nothing but excuses and back tracking after that😂💀

[@strawberry-jq9fu]

Tffffff

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

typical

[@libfuzzy4629]

Mental illness

[@The_Real_Black_Jesus]

Sometimes you dig yourself into a hole... and then you just keep digging. 🤣

[@NoRockinMansLand]

​@@bunnywavyxx9524no

[@ladybug3380]

Natural hair is a dust repellent, take it as a compliment 😅

[@audreywright1101]

Keeping away the "dust bunnies?!" Lol🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lifeis2171]

Cynthia G.....GO FOLLOW.

[@abcdefu3198]

If hair is someone’s main concern when looking to date or have a partner…they are not to be taken seriously

[@Nerdylady]

I’m white and bi-sexual. I love 4c hair, but I would never say that to a stranger. If I’m going to say anything at all, it’s “you are beautiful”.

[@yuppy178]

It took me a while to like my 4c hair but I’m finally loving it!

[@Dr.GenXNaturalista]

Wow! I was just on a panel at Texas State University's first, "Naturally You" event talking about this VERY. THING!! OMG! YES! I asked the question why they think tightly curled hair is deemed less feminine. Why is tightly curled hair seen as strong and masculine? Is it because proximity to Whiteness and White feminity is so engrained in our colonized minds all around the world? It is all about proximity to Whiteness and even Asianess, in my opinion. White and Asian women are deemed meek and easy to control. Women with West African features are EXPECTED to apologize for our West African features by making our hair look like we are "mixed" with something else (i.e. Asian, Indian, White). Yup! I just unpacked this at Texas State U. yesterday. It's messed up man! Messed UP! And Black men with West AFrican features don't have the same pressure that we do to look like they are mixed with something else, and the Black male panelist agreed with me after I brought it up that point. Why WE gotta be "mixed looking" to be deemed desirable and feminine? What about afro-textured hair translates to strong and masculine? Chiiiiiileeee...I'm so glad I attracted a Black husband who loves my natural hair and prefers it that way, not silk pressed!

[@natashadickson4819]

Best wishes ❤️

[@blonsh3072]

I got to Texas State! I wanted to go to Naturally You, but missed it :( I hope they have another one

[@TinyyTinkerbell]

When i wear my fro i once got referred to having “soft carpet hair” by a group of bm. My Italian home boy and women only compliment my hair alot. I never straightened my hair since i went natural but if i wear box braids black guys seem to like that better idk

[@DORCASDIASRIESMAKINGMEMORIES]

Me too. They seem to like braids

[@eprahs1]

You know.

[@sakuralein1]

@@DORCASDIASRIESMAKINGMEMORIES because braids a down hair style like straight hair.

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

bm hate most black features, in fact all of them to a degree

[@libfuzzy4629]

Who cares about what black guys like lol

[@jaszlyyy]

GIRLLL you have NEVER lied 😂 Older men love a stiff wig on a black woman omg!! Honestly honestly i think that has more to do with what they’ve seen over what they “like”. So many Black women who marry into that world just do have bad wigs 😭 i hate to say it. and honestly i’ve come to associate kept women with stiff bad wigs so IDK maybe that’s what’s Richard likes but also maybe who he’s comfortable approaching because she looks “familiar” 😅

[@xo1762]

Lmaoooooooo

[@Alice-mv9pj]

I'm not a black woman, but I'll never understand why men have an issue 4C hair, it's beautiful! I'm from Southern Europe and have dark, wavy hair...where I am from this is considered ugly, we should all be blondes! F those men, seriously, your 4C hair rocks!!

[@jaxthewolf4572]

Wow dark wavy hair is considered ugly in Southern Europe? Those people are crazy.

[@audreywright1101]

Alice-mv9pj- Honey, "later for "those types of Ignorance!" "You don't Need that Negativity of "those types" in Your Life Anyway!" There Are "Other Types of Scrubs like them( that Mindset)!" SHINE UP, RAISE YOUR HEAD UP HIGH WOMEN( ALL THAT HAVE THAT TYPE OF HAIR AS WELL ALONG WITH THE NATURAL STATE!)"🦊🐾

[@dinarusso3320]

Me too, I'm Italian American and my natural color is black, but when I started dying it blonde, I got noticed way more by guys. Most white men want blondes!

[@Melancholy_Analog]

@@dinarusso3320 every culture and ethnicity leads by the aryan standards blonde hair and blue eyes. Every group tries to get farthest from their ethnic features. Indians and Asians bleach, black women are subjugated the darker they are, etc. It’s really sad.

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

seems the standards are the same everywhere 😬 dark hair is youthful and mature, but there's so much blond worship, it seems that men care about nothing else!

[@ta9ta937]

I have a similar experience where people treat you differently, not based on the hairstyle, but based on if I have makeup or not. I wear the hijab (a religious head scarf) whenever I am out, and because it covers my hair, I rarely get compliments and never get romantic interests. However, I started doing makeup a year or so ago and I started getting hit on for the first time, and it was truly bizarre. I always dismiss them because they are mostly men old enough to be my dad (can we talk about that? what's up with older men?) or men who think I am racially ambiguous (I am a light skin fully black woman). As far as compliments, I started receiving way more compliments after I started wearing makeup when I go out, from men and women. It's truly night and day how people treat you when you wear makeup or not.

[@shegoego2396]

Are you East African? I ask because I am also a light skin hijabi and have experienced the same. People really refuse to believe that fully black people can look different based on what region they com from.

[@strawberry-jq9fu]

@@shegoego2396 just bc someone is light skin, black and hijab doesn’t directly mean they are East African haha

[@jeshurundaniel794]

@@shegoego2396 there are light skinned hijabis too in Nigeria where I'm from

[@Tessy29k]

Yeah this is why I rarely wear makeup when I am outside and onlyfor like spdcial occasions. Luckily I still get treated pretty well even without wearing makeup

[@shegoego2396]

I yeah I realize that’s now, I guess I’m too used to my own people 😭.

[@melrivas3655]

Your skin is flawless and absolutely stunning

[@Passion84GodAlways]

(3:16) - I have NEVER understood this?!?!! 😩😫 Am I posta look raggedy to be approachable?! 🤷🏾‍♀️🙈🙃

[@Thehouseoffail]

Men may not like 4C hair, but I love it. I see a woman with 4C natural hair and I immediately think "Oh, she must be super confident in herself and down to earth."

[@JessAnonymous]

Which is crazy cause the natural hair girls in luxury exist and im one of em lmfaooo

[@t.c87]

Interesting my husband is white and my natural hair is his favorite thing. 😍 4c strong 💪

[@reneebrody5877]

I love your personality 😊 I like your natural hair! I have my hair naturally curly but also wear it blown out and flat ironed. I like my hair both ways.

[@DarkStrawbee]

Mah girl has just discovered sociology and made it even more entertaining. But yeah I've got the same experience, but people usually say I look so much more beautiful with straight hair when I hate it, I look like an entirely different race and its not sustainable ? God it hurts when they compliment the fake straigtheness, I wish people liked my hair like I do (4b). I'm mixed race and somehow I'm very light compared to my brothers and sisters, and I guess people dont accept that type 4 hair grows out of my freckled head as easily as they do for the rest of my family ? So people like to see unconventional mix of black and white features (blue eyes, straight hair with black skin) but somehow when you look predominantly white it bothers people when it's the other way around ? Why are people so picky, we are not playing the Sims

[@GreenGorgeousness]

The sims!!! Ha. They truly don't understand genetics..... They think if you mix, it's a perfect even distributed traits and always get non afro hair. As you know, that couldn't be further from the truth. Joy- el is a mixed KZbinr who has type 4 hair. You should watch her videos on this.

[@libfuzzy4629]

Ignore those people your 4c hair is beautiful

[@iidentifyasaPSLGoddess]

As a lightskinned light eyes woman w 4c hair I feel you, I look like an eurasian (half white, half Asian) with straight hair & boy the attention is very different! With my natural short hair it's crickets but ion give a fuck i personally prefer my hair

[@prettyrat.]

Blue eyes with straight hair and black skin to those people look like Blackness But Better™. New and Improved. She’s still a black woman, but they took away some of her defining features so she appears more palatable (in comparison to other *black women.* ) If you look predominantly white, as in you register that way as first glance, it’s instead as if someone took ‘whiteness’ to those people and ruined it. You didn’t make the black woman better, you made the white woman worse. Racists and people who are unknowingly prejudiced will immediately find it unattractive when a “white” woman is closer in proximity to blackness than usual, because black or black-“ish” features were already a problem.

[@lipstickandbooks.]

So many of us with 4c hair can relate to a lot if not all of these experiences around our hair. It’s VERY interesting watching it play out. Loved this video ❤

[@alysong5568]

Your comment at the beginning about a male friend saying that you looked "put together and that your hair was gorgeous" and that that intimidated some men made me put better into words something I've thought for awhile. I think for women in particular, when they embrace what God gave them; their hair texture, their roman nose, their body type, their whatever, and KNOW how to work with it to their best advantage, like truly KNOW how to showcase the best of their attributes, it can be intimidating. For men and for women. Because here is a person who lives in their body, is knowledgeable of their body and how to showcase it, and is comfortable in their body. It's not even necessarily confidence, it's a grounding in themselves and an acknowledgement of the flesh and blood home the universe gifted you with.

[@ThisCCLife]

The stiff yacky wig attracting Richard the divorced golfer (around 17 min) was hilarious

[@tashiesweet]

That “are you mixed” question used to get to mad af. Talm bout “You’re too pretty to just be black” LIKE HUH ?! That is not a compliment. Do not ever come to me putting down people to try to pick me up that means you’re a lame and a hater

[@doll.ov.poetrii4682]

💯

[@88g40]

I wouldn't exist without my 4c hair, so I love it always. 💛

[@EverElia]

It’s astounding how much I relate to this video but i know that it’s something we do notice and go through as black women with natural hair. The different ways of treatment when my hair is straight versus braided up versus braided out is evident and those who are close to me know about them because I’ve been vocal about it too! It is interesting how people will choose to treat us if they find us more attractive or more acceptable. Also: You are simply so uh-dorable!!

[@luname2356]

I used to feel insecure because my hair did not fit the standards, but the idea of hiding it, using chemicals to change the texture, silk pressing it, or adding extensions, and doing all of that to impress people that don't know better, I hated it 10 times more😩. So, I did the opposite, I stayed natural and went for locs. I've had my locs for 8 years now and I absolutely love them. If men dislike my hair or don't approach me romantically because of it, it's fine, but at least I feel good in my skin❤. Besides, there's always going to be that one man that loves our hair.

[@audreywright1101]

That's what I'm talking about! Do You, Beauty, Do You! Later for those Stupid Don't ID Self Stupid Demeaning Standards! " Ugh Bugs! 🙄 SHINE UP AND OVER THOSE TYPE HUMANS! 🤨

[@cristinacruz6493]

This young lady is gorgeous. Her skin is gorgeous smooth and glowing. She is a gorgeous bronzy brown color with a gorgeous smile and she wears her hair beautifully. Why cant she believe she is just so gorgeous she may intimating? A confident gorgeous woman of any race will attract less men because many men are afraid to approach such a woman and be rejected.

[@Magical_Trash]

I would love to see a whole interview about why different hairstyles attract certain people 😆

[@Sereens]

Thank you for talking about this, I feel so seen!! There’s so much to explore and unpack in this topic. I’m a life-long natural with 4a hair and in 2018 I wore a blonde straight wig and I attracted more men in those 3 weeks than I have in my entire life. It was weird and kinda made me feel fraudulent. Thank you for sharing your experiences, in sharing yours you validate ours 💛

[@libfuzzy4629]

I guarantee you the men you attracted with the long blonde wig weren't good quality men...

[@reirei9446]

It’s because a-lot of folks think 4C hair is ugly💀. I’ve come to accept it and embrace my hair. But it’s true I get more attention when I wear wigs or specially loose curly wigs.

[@hild-demongoddess7498]

from who though? you have to be race specific...because I already think its clear BM hate anything that reminds them of themselves.

[@reirei9446]

@@hild-demongoddess7498 Blck men. They suck. 💀

[@hild-demongoddess7498]

@@reirei9446they really do

[@kaytee789]

​@@hild-demongoddess7498 anything that reminds them of blackness that's why we keep on dealing with texturism, featurism and colorism.

[@missdesireindependance5194]

4a texture is more socially acceptable but I love 4c hair.

[@JG_SmileSOBright]

You are absolutely gorgeous to me! I have 3c hair and am mainly hit on by every race/nationality other than my own. Everyday a White, Middle Eastern, or Latino man hits on me. I have a tapered cut w a daily wash n go. I think there is a regalness that comes with being beautiful AND having natural hair that can be intimidating to Black men. It's almost like being well put together, and carrying yourself like the lady you are sends a signal that "your shit must be together to approach me," and that scares Black men away.

[@bwslayer926]

Wrong. Blk men just don't care cuz its just hair. Plus, a lot of blk females be confrontational with blk men, so most of us keep our distance.

[@Menehune3461]

Ughhhh YOU ARE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR!! Hair texture is something I’ve always dealt with and I’m a boy. Yes I am mixed. And I don’t have the curliest of hair (loose wavy is the texture of my hair ) But, the fact that is the only reason why people approach me is wild. But I have a theory to your question. Our people have unfortunately have been conditioned to hate how we look , what grows out of our head. And that has stuck with generations . Whilst to the others… it’s new , exciting a breath of fresh hair. Which I more recent times our people have celebrated our looks and beauty standards are changing. But we have a long way to go