TMI TALK: Birth Q&A...Baby's Name, How Painful Is Labor *REALLY*, & More

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[@oliviawikstrom2317]

Totally get why you aren’t sharing your baby’s name. I applaud you for being so intentional and thoughtful about your child’s safety/privacy!

[@abbypollock]

Doing my best and going with my gut 💛

[@ginax8307]

Me too!! She’s such a good mommy (and has such a great daddy!!!)

[@nessapie23]

completely agree. I didn't even think about what her name is until she said this lol. I was like oh yeah we don't know little lady's name, but I wasn't worried about it because it's a baby and it's private. I just care to know Abby's name and her experience with birth and post partum, and raising a baby.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

I LOVE that you plan on sharing motherhood through your own lens while keeping your child’s privacy! My boundaries ended up being - no name/no face/no unnecessary info on my son, so he’s unGoogleable! If anyone searches his name when he’s older they’ll never be brought to pictures or info about him. That’s so important to me but I also really love sharing life as a mother! About to give birth again soon and LOVING these videos … I loved labour last time but was pressured into intervention right at the end for no good reason whatsoever! So this time I’m really hoping to advocate for myself a bit more ❤️

[@nclnmp4]

You have single handedly made so many young women like myself WAY less apprehensive about child birth. Thank you, truly, and best of luck

[@Heyitspayt]

While I too am dying to know, baby girls name, I, as a mother completely understand and respect you wanting to keep her name private. I really liked that you shared that name tag story because that’s not something. A lot of people think about in that way, but it’s soooo true. I also really look up to the way you talk about keeping her life private and her identity private. You’re a great mama💕

[@abbypollock]

💛🥰 I appreciate you understanding. Navigating the internet with her will be an ongoing learning process, but I’m doing my best and going with my gut.

[@hopeard3512]

Mine was a 10. My pregnancy and birth were traumatic. I hated every second lol. I was so relieved when it was over and I finally got to see the results of my torture lol

[@lekasa1508]

If you ever do get pregnant again I highly highly recommend the book Ina May’s guide to childbirth. I read it during my pregnancy and helped so so much 😊

[@yennifery]

I was worried about my V too and I thought it would look different and “ugly” and I was happy to realize everything looked exactly as before I was pregnant 😂 I was like “did I even have a child”.

[@MiVidaBellisima]

I can picture myself and other women who are determined to have the most positive birth they can remembering your words: -birth doesn’t have to feel like medieval torture -stay fearless and focus on the good -trust your body, your body will KNOW, your body is built for this -average pain is a 6 overall Everyone’s experience varies but for me, I know this will be very empowering. Love you so much Abby you’re such an icon!

[@MiVidaBellisima]

For those that are curious, your body will push the baby out when it’s time. It’s called the fetal ejection REFLEX- it happens automatically 😊

[@courtneysokal6590]

@@MiVidaBellisima Also remember that sometimes bodies can’t push baby out for whatever reason and that’s okay. C sections are life saving and can be beautiful. To-be moms need to be aware of the potential things that can, and likely will, go wrong and mentally prepare for anything to happen. Guilt and trauma can be mitigated if we accept that an unmedicated birth is only one outcome of many.

[@arielfonseca7148]

@@courtneysokal6590 When we start educating women on true physiological birth apart from epidural, pitocin, arom, etc, we won't be telling women that birth will be traumatic and that something WILL go wrong. The number 1 reason for c section is a failed or stalled induced labor, when neither the mothers body nor the baby is ready for labor, therefore making the body successfully keep what it registers as pre term labor from happening. The babies heart rate then drops making it an emergent issue. In a natural birth, if a baby is having trouble making their way down into the pelvis, the fix is quite simple. A change of position, squatting, one leg up, etc is often all you need to help baby get in the ideal position for birth. In natural birth, c section is not the norm and neither are interventions and emergent situations.

[@bethanyortlip5946]

Haven’t watched this one yet but just want to say thank you for sharing so openly about your pregnancy and birth experience in your channel - I’m learning so much from you in what to anticipate in future. Hope you and baby are well :)

[@abbypollock]

This makes me so happy to hear 💛 while I know it’s not everyone’s experience, I’m so glad I’ve been able to share the positive bits of mine!

[@sophia.caroline13]

I love how open about your pregnancy and birth story you have been (even when you found out so late). Not making anything seem awkward at all! I really look up to you as a person 💙💙💙

[@abbypollock]

This made me smile 💛 I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to share this journey

[@ThaliaIrwin]

Love referring to your baby as Bean. We call our dog Beans even though it's not her name as well. Such a cute nickname!!

[@abbypollock]

At this point, it’s starting to feel more natural than her “real” name 😂💛

[@theveganlifestyle1827]

I love that you are actually respecting your baby's privacy. It's such a refreshing approach to see when sooo many families seem to think it's totally fine to plaster their children all over social media when they're unable to have any say in the matter.

[@beaurogan3121]

This video (and your birth vlog) is probably the most informative and detailed video I have seen on how birth feels, which is JUST what I’ve been searching for! Thank you for giving me an idea about what to expect, it gives me so much more courage and confidence going into motherhood for the first time. I have been considering a home birth lately. Love your channel and thanks for sharing ❤

[@dsirbu5225]

I love how depending on who you have as a support team (the medical professionals), they actually gave you the option for cervical checks. I had a doctor deliver my baby (no midwife options at the time where I live) and I was literally told that if they didn't do a cervical check, they wouldn't let me check into a room at the hospital. So they would have literally let me labour and deliver in the triage area of labour and delivery if I had refused a cervical check. It made me feel like going home and having a home birth to spite them. Even with all that said, I had a doula and she was the game changer for me! My labour and delivery would have been a difference story if she hadn't been there and it had just been the doctor forcing more "protocols" on me. Yes to fully educated decisions the whole way through pregnancy, labour and the delivery process! It also helped me have a fully unmedicated delivery that I am proud of, instead of traumatized by.

[@nessapie23]

I just really enjoy the sense of take charge in your body and experience. Child birth always seems very out of your control which there is a lot that is out of your control, but I like how you took control over what you could: your care team, having a home birth, making sure your wishes were known by everyone and on your chart, and even the prep of things to help you during birth like snacks and the stress ball thing. It just felt very empowering.

[@andienoya]

Found your channel recently and love your content! Particularly, I found your BIIT video fun, because that level of engagement is perfect for my chronically ill/disabled body 😅 I’d love to see more as you continue to heal and ramp back up!!

[@Kstuart92]

I have loved following your journey. I'm so appreciative of everything you've shared. I'm 20 weeks pregnant and I'm going into the second half of my pregnancy with far less worry and fear than I had before. Especially as someone who also suffers with tummy problems learning how you have coped with that during the journey is super helpful. So thank you

[@AKpickleMonster]

Abby, I have been following your pregnancy journey and have been learning so much from you. I just got my very positive test this week, and feel like I am ready after watching some of your videos. I am so excited! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

[@LisaDaHulke]

So much respect for how you are dealing with your daughter's (lack of) online presence. I'm having a daughter in a couple months and I feel the same way, although I have been and will keep sharing her name with family and friends. Outside of that circle, it's no one else's business 🤷‍♀️ Happy to see your birth went well. I found out I was pregnant with my first shortly before you, and I'm so thankful you put so much thought and research into pregnancy and birth right when I need it! Thank you!

[@carlyrowland1640]

Thank you for being so honest and raw but still positive. I really appreciate this.

[@hootiemcboob4603]

Yes!! We need another part 2! I'm due any day now and your videos make me feel so much better!

[@stormeyhine7291]

Thank you for being one of very few KZbinrs who understand that it's their child's choice if and what they want online. I have an 8 week old and have only shared one image on social media announcing her birth (she didn't have a name at this point, so most people don't know it if they're not in my immediate circle). My friends and family don't understand why I don't post and ask them to not post her either. Big ups to you!

[@katharinemahon2108]

I want to say thank you for sharing your personal experience. Listening to your journey is a tool of empowerment for me as I am just starting this journey of a first pregnancy. I hope you know that your work and effort to share your perspective and information is not only useful but very much appreciated! THANK YOU!

[@mh-h7479]

Love that you are keeping your baby safe by setting boundaries and respecting her privacy ! Love love love

[@courtneyalexandra7418]

YES!! I cannot commend you enough for keeping your baby's name private. Also, as she gets older, hopefully her face, where you live, all of it!! Kids ABSOLUTELY deserve privacy. Influencers can so easily exploit their children in this space and while that is not their intention in sharing their children's EVERYTHING, it happens and it can be really harmful. Children are humans too, except they have no power or control and as parents we need to do our best to have theory of mind/mindsight for our children and from their perspective. We have 3 main jobs as parents, teach (guide mentally and spiritually) protect (meet basic physical safety needs, feed, AND keep from harm in all aspects to the very best of our abilities) and love (this one is easy, they're so damn cute and wonderful!). So many parents drop the ball in one if not all of these categories but you are already nailing it! Being intentional is key to raising people into adults and I am just blown away by how determined, motivated, intentional and mindful you continue to be. She is a lucky kid!

[@Erica-cp8lb]

Thank you for being so open and honest and detailed. There’s so many things i’ve wondered about that you covered and i while I’m still really scared and get weak thinking about pain and stitches and things like that, I feel a little more calm about the whole thing. I love the way you explain everything, thank you 🙏🏻

[@candacecovic631]

You were smart to minimize who you told about home birth. The reality is that most people have uninformed opinions about it!

[@RantingMagpie]

I have nothing but respect for this woman. ❤️

[@bonniegomez5333]

Most women don't have as active of a life style as you, which probably skews the way you experience birth and pain. there is no set "pain scale" but I'm glad you had a fairly easier experience

[@yogawithsam5488]

Love your TMI videos and channel!!! Keep ‘em comin 😍

[@beachgirl6305]

At first, I didn't understand why you wouldn't give out the baby name. I'm so glad you expanded on that! I realize you don't have to explain it. It's totally up to you! It's your body, your channel. Your why, makes total sense!

[@marieJennell]

Part 2 please. I love the "tmi" videos❤ congratulations on new baby I was surprised the whole time thru ur pregnancy how awesome u where handling everything. Very inspirational 👏 🙌 and thank u for sharing ur experiences..

[@taghreedalsalmi9638]

Abby . I love how you are always so informative , I get scared from anything new to me and my only way to face that fear is by getting as much information about it as i can ..

[@melancholia1989]

100% recognize, support and respect your choice not to share baby’s name. I love your energy and story and I truly value your social media presence. You are the type of influencer people need to follow!

[@hannahfuqua2346]

So happy for you!! I’ve always wanted a home birth and it’s just so cool to listen to you talk about the positive experience you had. Congratulation🎉

[@chinacetacean]

Everyone's experience is different. I am happy to hear that there are such positive stories as well. Taking into account who Abby is, being over average athletic and being able to continue to train all throughout pregnancy, has a huge impact on pain levels.

[@claribelworkman891]

I fully understand your reasoning of keeping her name secret, and I love it. I’m takings notes from you for my future children.

[@TryThis89]

Thanks for that Q&A! It gave me a bit of perspective on what to expect, Im due around second half of January. Keep your fingers crossed 🤞

[@michellefrazier1329]

I loved watching your part one to this and your part two. I am due 12/23 and starting to get really nervous, listening to you talk about your labor and delivery helps calm the nerves a little. My goal is to have an unmediated delivery also but I fear it may be something I won’t be able to achieve once in the moment. Anyway thanks for these videos I truly appreciate them.

[@cassandraweatherwax3679]

Thank you so much for sharing this! I think I'm ready to start to a family but I'm terrified of pregnancy and delivery. Watching this and your other videos definitely helps me to feel better about it.

[@jacquelinereyna5206]

I love the idea of calling baby Bean! I would love to see a part 2 and more details about your home birth

[@courtneysokal6590]

I’m very glad and relieved that your birth worked out for you. I think it’s very important to let people know that anything can and will happen. I had two very normal, super active, healthy pregnancies and BOTH babies were rushed to the NICU when they were born. I now advocate for hospital births as nothing is as important as baby’s health and access to lifesaving medical care.

[@dr.emilyhawken6347]

I had three normal, super fit/active pregnancies as well. I was young and too confident. With midwives, too. However, I had two shoulder dystocias and a sunny side up baby. First, ended in a c-section, second was a normal 15/10 pain level back labour for hours (posterior presentation), and the third, almost a catastrophe (badly stuck behind the pubic bone baby) but quick (manageable) birth. It was truamatizing at the very final minutes. I learned that a normally presenting baby is WAAAYYYYY less painful than one that is not. Everyone is okay. But you have less control of the birthing process than you think. And please do not beat yourself up if you do not share this person’s experience. She is lucky. Good for her. Now comes the harder part: motherhood. I know plenty of women who had breezy births but ended up as shitty parents. Not saying that Abby will be shitty but her high horse vibe is off putting. Couldn’t finish this video. I think I’m done.

[@carolynforte]

This is such great info; thank you for sharing your experience! I would love to hear more about your postpartum recovery process as well.

[@katiepatterson2313]

Thank you for sharing! I am more encouraged and not as scared after hearing your story. I’m 33 weeks and am slowly preparing mentally and physically for baby. I would love to hear more about labor an delivery but especially hear about your postpartum experience, that’s what really has me nervous. TIA!

[@conniehopkins6105]

I'm so glad you are sharing positivity about natural childbirth. I was a Labor and Delivery nurse for years but failed miserably at natural. I took some Nubain when I was about 4cm because I don't have a high pain tolerance, and had hallucinations that the monster from Alien was trying to eat its way out of my belly. My labor was exactly 24hrs from 3 minutes apart until birth. I was exhausted so took the epidural at 7cm. This resulted in all the interventions of pitocin drip and not being able to push it out. Suction cup and forceps later, I had a completely torn up bottom and bowel and bladder problems that never resolved. I'm 66 years old now. Sure which I had just toughed it out and not allowed them make me stay in the bed on the monitor. Maybe I would have less issues today.

[@brittanydavenport8702]

Honestly, good for you for having a home birth. It sounds like such a nightmare for me (I have high risk pregnancies so birth is a struggle for me) but I LOVE hearing from people who do this and like it and have successful births. I find it to be super cool.

[@HaygiSinDorei]

As a mom, I applaud you! Keeping baby safe should be priority #1. Thank you for all the information, love your videos!

[@AmberinTrees]

Seriously, so inspirational and helpful ❤

[@katyacunnington6464]

I also had a home birth this past week and couldn't agree more with your thoughts and actions on creating a respected and hesrd environment!! My midwife was so encouraging and telling me to listen to my own body and reacting how I felt natural. Congrats on your little lady! Would love to chat more about postpartum

[@laurie896]

Much respect for keeping your baby girl's personal information private.

[@ms.arlette32]

Yes please! Talk about both !!

[@SavannahRose1597]

Congratulations to you all ❤

[@qMermaidq]

Thank you so much for these informative vids!!!

[@sylviareimers7075]

This may sound so creepy but I'm 17 and you're literally my idol. I love your videos and it really make me excited for fitness and eventually having kids, thank you 💗🤗

[@phnification]

I loved this video! I would be interested in an in-depth video about how you trained for labor ... everything you shared on your IG was so interesting. I'm a former marathoner myself so really resonate with this idea of training for birth as preparation for the ultimate endurance event.

[@shaylenelson474]

I second this! As someone who would one day like to have a minimal intervention un medicated birth i would love to know how you trained!

[@isabelle4632]

I’d love a part 2! 😊

[@missnicki3723]

I love that you did this video.

[@breelarose8057]

Love these and appreciate you so much talking about the things most people don't maybe you could make a PostPartum series! with it's own playlist

[@Marieb2899]

You go mama! Protect that baby’s privacy. ❤

[@mkultrasurvivor99]

You’re such a great mom!

[@thelittleway]

keep up the great work🎉

[@christinab8634]

Love these! Please do one on postpartum as well!

[@malielou17]

I think what she’s saying is like a single instance of labor pain isn’t really a ten. It’s not the worst pain in the book, I think what makes it so unbearable is just that it’s a really drawn out process that progresses in intensity. There are definitely single instances of pain that top a single contraction or the sensation of pushing the baby out but typically they aren’t happening repeatedly over hours or days which is why I think people surmise labor to be so hard. For example slamming a finger in the door and breaking your nail off or a sharp toothache are terrible pains… but typically we have some sort of pain management and the climax of that pain doesn’t persist over hours. So it’s like a quality over quantity type of deal

[@kyrar.j.4856]

I love and appreciate how much detail you are willing to go into about your birthing experience. The prospect of an unmedicated birth is intriguing to me and I would love to be able to do that when the time comes, but it terrifies me simultaneously! I think my biggest concern is that something might go wrong during the birthing process and for as important as it is to keep the mothers stress low, I know my husband will be a mess and if he is stressed I will be too. So, having access to immediate care if something does go wrong would be high on my list of priorities I think.

[@alwaysnunya5036]

This is totally my own two cents/personal experience: I also had a home birth 7 months ago and had a wonderful experience. I had a midwife, doula, and my husband assisting me. My husband and I took Bradley Method classes so in the event that my birth plan had to change, my husband could act as my informed advocate. There is a lot of trust involved with your team, so plan and prepare well. Emergencies can happen anywhere, even at a hospital, but the disadvantage of a hospital is that the hospital staff really don’t know you or what YOU are capable of as well as your husband or your birth team. I was laboring for a very long time (24 hours) with my baby and I never once thought about giving up even when I was physically tired. This is where your marathon mentality comes in. I would say that birth for me was 20% physical and 80% mental. It’s a huge mental game. Your birth team is there for YOU. I leaned into their judgement and support when I needed them. I’m forever grateful for that. Don’t hire someone you don’t trust. My midwife would have sent me to the hospital right away if she had any indication that me or baby were in trouble, and my husband would have made it happen. As a side note: out of the 6 women in my Bradley class who had a hospital birth, 4 had c-sections. More than half (67%). Idk about you but even within my small sample size that number seems pretty high for emergencies….

[@Addison737]

Abby, I admire your respect for your child’s online privacy and it’s apparent that you’ve thought through the possible consequences of offering her personal info online. It’s clear you will be an incredible mother. Also, thank you for speaking about your experience with home birth. It’s something a lot of people in today’s age think is putting your baby in extreme danger and is almost immediately dismissed as an option

[@doortovalue]

This is soooo helpful, thank you 🥰 I agree on privacy. If you did create a part 2, I was curious on the poo part. Did you mean that you would poo while pushing or that you had to poo (or thought you needed too) when it was actually just you starting labor?

[@cleosworld9096]

Oh I’m first been waiting for this

[@abbypollock]

Yeeesss!!

[@li34y]

LOVED what you shared. Would LOVE a post partum video. I'm in my last trimester and have been more worried about post partum than the labor itself. Would love to hear your experience!

[@ctuero]

TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE 6 pain scale. i totally underestimated the pushing/ring of fire and overestimated contractions. i was laughing and joking between contractions, and even pretty okay during the peak of the surge; but the pushing out of my 9lb 4oz 22 in long baby.... thaaaaat hurt. a.lot. i was screaming but it was the SHORTEST part, a few minutes total.

[@CharLovesGS]

Thank you for the video it's really interesting to hear your story. I totally understand that you don't want to share her name (yet). I was just wondering if you are happy with the name you gave her. Did you always have a name in mind, or was it a last minute thing?

[@Chrisplainjane]

There is nothing wrong with boundaries, especially with kids. I am keen to see your recovery. Having a baby in 3 weeks & I need to fix my ab separation & want to get fit again. I’ve had some health issues so I’ve lost my contact consistent small workouts & I know I’m unfit lol 😂

[@Dead_girll]

I vote Bean!!!❤

[@comicgirl267]

I enjoy these videos as I want to have a baby someday. I’m very curious about home births now. I’d love a video going into more detail about it. You could do a video about home births and a video about what to do post-partum, as that’s important too. Thanks for all the videos, Abby. 🤗😘

[@lilxpadd_]

Hi Abby, I have a question. When you decide to use the breast pump to help get things started with you labor. Did you produce any colostrum? And if you did, how did you save it ?

[@Angel-ms7sf]

SO CUTE. My parents call me bean too, but in german lol. Love watching these TMI talks, i am currently 28 weeks pregnant. I get cramps in my belly when i walk for too long, it goes away when i relax and rest again. I wonder if that’s what you were feeling in your last week before your labor, i remember you sharing that you felt contractions but then it would go away.. Another question would be: was milk coming out when you tried to pump to induce labor the day before giving birth?

[@bunnybangz]

Thank you for not sharing baby girls name 😘 ❤️ Already respected your prior journey can't wait to be on this one with you, thank you for sharing what YOU want, not what you think WE want 🙏🏼🧡

[@YoMama9021]

Thank god someone with a brain when it comes to posting their children online who are underage. My twin girls are not online at all. They’ve asked to be on KZbin (at age seven currently) and we still believe they’re still too young to understand the dangers.

[@ferpoire3233]

Kudos for not revealing the name and being so on spot about her right to privacy. ❤❤ You are being really respectful and wise.

[@teresaforever101]

“If you’re nosey, you’re probably watching this”… yes, yes i am😂

[@selfcaresis9961]

Love how healthy u are and so strong even with a baby

[@evalozano2942]

Omg I call my daughter baby bean or little bean too ❤ so cute 🥰 my dad always had a nickname for me growing up and I loved it.

[@kaitlincrane_]

We feel the exact same way about our baby when it comes to her privacy. We chose to share her name, but we don’t share pictures of her. And it’s so awkward because we have to double check family members aren’t sharing pictures of her online, but we just want to keep her private.

[@samanthad7601]

This is super smart RE baby's name. We cannot un-internet it!

[@lauraleslie4954]

What a G. Unmedicated labor is intense. As someone who experienced it, I would rate it way higher than a 6.

[@selfcaresis9961]

So looking forward to more gym shorts with baby

[@jovannagarcia1924]

I called my little one bean throughout my pregnancy and a few months after! It evolved to bubbies 🥰

[@anneliharalson314]

Love that you’re not sharing her name! Do what feels right for you ❤

[@jennavanvolkswagen2822]

THANK you for not sharing! Love this!

[@Inglis55]

PART 2

[@sarabohn5417]

My first pregnancy wasn't that painful until.the very end, 2nd one was a little bit more painful, just had my 3rd 4 months ago...I needed an epidermal for this one, he was much bigger though, 9lb baby versus my two girls around 7 lbs

[@peglegbabydoll]

I found pushing so difficult too, 2 1/2 hrs of pushing. My daughter had a short cord and hand up by face which delayed her descent. Overall the pain wasn't bad for me either

[@whitney3585]

How did you learn about labor and delivery?! Books, videos?

[@ChamaSass]

My contractions hurt like a b****🤣 I'd have to give it around an 8 lol, the epidural saved my life

[@forever_seeking]

Unmedicated births are less painful. I think doctors push pitocin on women for their convenience. I remember being really scared of delivering my first and then thinking it was easier than what I initially thought. I was pressured into doing pitocin with my last two and I could not stop myself from shaking from the pain.... Of course I couldn't handle without an epidural at that point. I hate that I let people talk me into pitocin it's now confirmed that pitocin can make childbirth more painful

[@caseycollins4886]

JEALOUS of your pain rating. I was 30 hrs of active labor and shaking by hr 15 - plus was on pitocin the whole time. So it was epidural for me so I didn’t pass out lololol. 🙃 I still felt it after that and I was much better able to push. But good for you, seriously!

[@DurangosMama]

I had my first baby last summer (also unmedicated) and also found it not that bad. I have it on video as soon as he came out me saying “that wasn’t even that awful!” and it wasn’t for me. I mean, it didn’t feel good, but it was totally tolerable and not that awful.

[@miladylaughalot]

I started labor at home all three times. First one my water broke and then contractions started. 5 hours. Second was contractions first and then hospital pitocin, baby being posterior, 10 hours overnight. Third was contractions first, water broke 7.5 hours.

[@queneshiarena]

Yep, I forgot I had to have a csection EVERYTIME, until the day of🤣🤣🤣

[@thehuney56]

I know another family on KZbin who uses animals as the kids names to protect their privacy. Like lion, cow, bear, etc. The kids picked their own online code name and they know to respond to that. Maybe something like that could be an option for baby girl 🥰

[@negracaribena]

My husband and I decided just last week not to share our children’s names on social media when they’re born! Trust yourself if that’s what you want to do

[@Sophiasisi]

I'm 36 weeks, having a home birth too. Love hearing your experience 🥰