Unexpected lessons learned reconnecting with my son in Iceland

Nathaniel Drew's KZbin channel → / nathanieldrewofficial
Get 15% off using the code BTS15 when you buy my new course Collaborative Trip Planning on BrightTrip: www.brighttrip.com/courses/co...
I took a big leap this past summer when I traveled to Iceland with my son. I wanted to connect with him and have an amazing time, and for that I had to challenge my usual ways of being.
By un-tightening the grip on my well-grooved habits, and mustering the courage to try something completely new, I was able to have the most incredible experience with him.
It was not easy but the results were tremendous...
Jump points:
0:00 - Intro
2:56 - Be A Dumbass
5:41 - Drop Expectations
9:07 - Take More Risks
13:16 - Final Message
(A huge thank you to @nathanieldrew for all shots from our Spanish trip, any footage of me in Iceland, and all of his amazing drone captures. And for being such an incredible travel buddy. Love you. ❤️)
If you like the content, please subscribe, like, and/or comment. Any and all of your support is huge in helping me grow this channel!
Find me on Instagram: / be.neaththesurface
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#iceland #icelandtravel #icelandtrip #travelingtoiceland #diggingwithin #internalwork #avoidingfriction #challenginghabits #selfwork #qualityoflife #travelingwithfamily #avoidconflict #bestwaytotravel #droppingexpectations #takingrisks #takingmorerisks #risktaking

[@nathanieldrew]

You did a fantastic job with this. There was a refreshing level of honesty here on how things went. What a trip. I'm glad to see this video is finally out in the world and I'm really looking forward to seeing what you make next.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so much. Your comments mean a lot. Really. :)

[@ladyrose3338]

Gonna subscribe to your channel too! After all, I saw your video first! 🤣

[@colletteoconnor6516]

Nathaniel I know I recognize you. I follow your channel congratulations on your new home. Just found your dad's chanel this morning love how he tells a story. So honest and can relate to his experience. Regards from Ireland

[@sharonk2949]

I love how much love is in your family and how you all work hard to make sure you stay close. Interesting and creative people!

[@cocomamadoula]

Oh, I love this video! I know the work Nathaniel is been doing and love I’ve to know your family. Love the way you communicate as a family with honesty, respect and love for each other!❤👍 keep it up!

[@sharonellulbonici9335]

Well done! I have 3 sons all in their late 20's my eldest will be 30 this year. 1 is now my guardian angel in heaven, and two on earth. I did individual trips with all 3 of them. Was preparing for a whole month in November with my youngest for his lucky birthday which we postponed bcz of covid. Back packing, hammocks, tracking spas, hot air balloons, horse carriage in Central Park etc ... prepared 5 countries to 5 birthdays I missed bcz of my demanding work in a male dominated environment where women where looked upon as not responsible if taking a day of for your child. Whilst men where looked upon with positive reinforcement. In September my 24yr old son passed away in a tragic accident and that trip was never taken. I will forever think of not having that one last trip we were taking together. Will have to live forever imaging it. To all reading this. Don't postpone, don't procrastinate with your children or loved ones. Don't fall apart with your sons and daughters. You're the parent suck up to it. No matter what always end your calls with I love you. Never part without a hug. Love them unconditionally and most of all be yourself around them. I wish I can not allow mothers and fathers pass thru the suffering and pain of loosing a child. I wish I can protect every parent as so not wish the experience on my worse enemy. Well done and do it with all your kids one by one. Blessing to all, plenty of love, and happiness to all

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you for your post and support, Sharon. I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to comprehend how that must feel. My sincere condolences to you.

[@rejaneroe9531]

I also experience loss as you, but I had the trip alone with him, in 2018, my 29 years old son died April 15th, 2022 , in a tragic car accident and like you I don’t wish this pain to any parent.

[@lifesunknown1023]

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take , go chase your dreams my friend

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Could not agree more. Thank you Sir!

[@jam20230]

I didn't just like the video, I had tears. The emotion I felt watching this video. You are a great dad, so much more awesome than you ever know. Your son is so lucky to have a dad like you. If only the dads of the world can learn something from you.

[@summertyme9046]

Every parent with grown kids needs to hear this. The ego is a real PITA at times. Great messages!

[@eugenejohnson1332]

Josh, I was completely shocked at not only the high quality of your first video but much more important by the clarity of the message it contained. Going through a similar circumstance with my daughter, I shall try to employ some of what I learned from your experience. I cannot thank you enough for making me aware of this endeavor. And by the way you are a wonderful narrator.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so so much, Eugene! I am so happy that I reached out to you about my video and that you got so much out of it. Means the world to me. Thank you for the wonderful compliments, and see you on Instagram!

[@ginahamlyn2569]

This really spoke to me. I cried my eyes out on Mother's Day this year because I set my bar too high. I was desperate to go to a certain restaurant which offers a unique outdoor eating experience. We woke up to heavy heavy rains on the said Sunday and the rest of the day simply went downhill. I was so committed to having this perfect day that when it didn't happen I was upset. I made my day sad because I was too hooked on the outcome. Thank you for reminding me to go with the flow because that's when true magic can happen.

[@srishtikote6741]

This was so much more soulful than I ever imagined... Especially because this topic of parental dynamics and perpetual growth are so close to my heart! Thank you so much Josh for sharing a very REAL story of how breaking down is THE most rewarding way forward to a breakthrough!✨

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you Srishti! Your words are so appreciated. It’s been a heck of a journey from the moment our boys were born… and we keep learning. Learning about ourselves really through this role as parents and being enriched by having them in our lives. It’s difficult to put into words but I think you understand. :)

[@chamberpaint]

You brought tears….seeing a man grow right in front of his son, learning to be mindful about NOT controlling everything, or playing it safe by quitting…all of this was so lovely to witness. Not being on top all the time & meeting your son half way…even as he sometimes surpasses you…gave him beautiful memories, too. Your insights into some of your habits gave you AND this viewer a richer experience. You even surprised yourself! I’m happy for you and hope some other men who think they know everything happen upon this & learn from it. Like, learning how to have FUN & being comfortable instead of competitive - with others & themselves.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Lovely comment, Lorraine. Thank you so much and so happy you found value in it. :)

[@inspiredthistle]

I really love your thoughts and perspective. I am a 54 year old mother/wife and I think your proactive plan to let go of your pride and expectations was amazing. It’s not easy to change ways at our age but it is so necessary to our happiness to reevaluate and adapt our behaviors to improve our life and increase our happiness. It’s never too late. I’m really happy for you, that you were able to repair your relationship with your son. I’ve been following him for many years and he’s a great guy. You should be very proud.

[@AdrianneZamandra]

Dear Josh, thank you for this beautiful and honestly inspiring video. I’m 23 and my dad passed away from cancer in 2019. This made me realise how precious life is and that I need to live in the present and stop worrying so much about the past or the future. Seeing you traveling with your son makes me smile so much and I hope this new KZbin journey you’ve started is going to make you and Nathan feel even closer. I wish you the best and am looking forward to watching your next videos. Greetings from France 🇫🇷

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you Adrianne, and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you can relish the memories you have of him and can also carve out some new memories with your own children. Much love to you.

[@janeYS]

I really appreciate your honesty, vulnerability and openness about your experience.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you, Jane! :)

[@kraekennedy]

I am assuming that besides the fact that 95+% of all the channels I subscribe to are international, plus the fact that I have watched several of your son Nathaniel's videos, may be the reason this channel came up on my recommeded list. Within less than 10 seconds of watching the "Why We are Leaving the US" video, I had 2 simultaneous thoughts... "this guy reminds me of Nathaniel Drew and I remember he mentioned his parents leaving were leaving the states." I just wanted to share, I am 54 yrs of age and have fallen instantly in love with this channel. So much so, that I am going to subscribe to Nathaniel's channel, just so I don't miss out on any "parents visiting" videos. Your channel is inspiring on a soul or cellular level! I wish you both all the happiness, peace and success that your new life can offer. Thank you for sharing your experiences in such a genuine and raw manner. I don't think there is anything in life, that can prepare someone for the realization that they are getting older. It hit me like a hurricane out of nowhere. Continuous self analysis and criticism became a daily, if not hourly event. It's great to see there is an alternative. Thanks again for your channel!

[@cassandragonzalez5660]

This was fantastic! I have 3 children with my eldest graduating HS. I would like to take a trip with just him and I...and wonder if I could get out of my own way. Thank you for sharing your conscious effort to do better...it's so hard as parents.

[@syzygy808]

I think I just found a fantastic channel. The visuals are just eye popping and the vibe is perfect. Like they say, ‘Balance, is everything in life’. If theres something I’ve set as a discipline in life, it’s this. Fighting to make harmony with myself. It turns out you see life in a better way and life works for you, not against. Takes guts to self-reflect. I’ll keep watching! 👍🏽

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so much... :)

[@DerekBearzi]

Wow! The greatest first video of all time! I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your words of wisdom, especially the part about lowering your expectations. Whenever I've taken a vacation or family trip in the past, I always had this preconceived idea in my mind that this "has to be the best trip no matter what." I never really considered the mindset I was in or how it effected me when things didn't go according to plan. I also loved the bond you and your son have. As a father myself (albeit my daughter is only 2). I hope to one day build a similar relationship with her and enjoy the beauty other countries have to offer. Iceland is definitely on my short list of places to go. Those drone shots you guys got of the volcano and lava were EPIC!

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so much, my friend. You are so right about how we set ourselves up, very often for failure. Why is it so hard to just let things be? Still wonder what it is about that tendency we possess as humans and the harm we oftentimes end up doing to ourselves. I wish for you some amazing adventures with your daughter. Just remember to be intentional about it! (Nathan gets all the credit for those insane drone shots. He has truly become a master of that, among many things. I still remember taking him to a park in downtown Portland to try out his first drone. Just a few years ago but so much has happened since!)

[@mickandtraceycope7826]

💙🙏Precious moments together.

[@fluencyonline1569]

Wow, Josh, for the powerful message on change, reframing, intentionality, and images about expectations...the stories we tell to and about ourselves and others and the world... the stories that can be blocks or pathways to freedom. Thanks for feeding the world, always, with your integrity, clarity, and compassion, and thanks for sharing this powerful film as an invitation to us all to reconnect with... ourselves, others, the world as it is.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

You always put it so well, Norah. Can't add much more to that. :) What I can say is: Thank you so much for always being such an incredible supporter!!

[@raythomas7744]

thank you for this. I have aspirations in the near future and it is nice to be in the moment.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Hoping you can create some amazing memories yourself!

[@me-lg1yw]

You had me at Dumbass! Great video. Can’t wait to see your next adventure.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Haha, thanks! 😂

[@joob40]

Love this. The authenticity and emotional intelligence. I think this is my new favorite channel. 💞

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you, Jennifer!! 😊❤️🙏

[@charliemontholon]

The feelings and experiences you unselfishly talked about, not only are experienced as the father and son relationships but in some others close to like uncles to nieces and nephews. Sadly, but that’s how they are. Growing older brings another set of dynamics and relationships we’re weren’t expecting,

[@seaofsolace]

Wow! What a beautifully honest and raw video! Very inspiring and moving. I think you touched many aspects of the human experience that we all go through and dont want to acknowledge. We put ourselves in a box for many different reasons. Your video is very touching for me because I dont have a relationship with both my parents: my mother is bordeline and we have been estranged for 18 years and my father is autistic so it is hard to connect with him on an emotional level. So for you to go to such length to cultivate a relationship with your son brought tears to my eyes. It must be amazing to have such caring parents. It must feel a lot less lonely.

[@girllovesbike5597]

Had a definite ah-ha moment related to something I’ve been navigating in my own life. Thank you for sharing your experience so beautifully.

[@billingram4317]

Thank you so much for such an amazing video. Please keep them coming. They are profoundly inspirational .

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Wow, such wonderful feedback. ❤️ Thank you! And will most definitely do. 😊

[@cozyvibes6178]

13:33 Finally found a channel I can totally resonate to and explore my internal self more with help and experience from someone else

[@Ram_M]

Perfect blend of storytelling, craft and humanity. Thank you.

[@arpaddesign]

I have a 7 year old. I’ll take these lessons to heart for the future. Thanks for sharing.

[@claudiademoss6040]

I can TOTALLY relate to most of what you expressed. Your need to control. Your need to be "cool" with your son. I get it and thank YOU for posting this insightful video!

[@JJRinSF]

Hey Josh, great video. I've watch all of your videos so far and they've all really resonated with me. My wife and I are also in our 50s, and while our boys are a little younger than yours, we too are thinking about how (and where) we want to spend the third act of our lives. Your honesty and openness about how you are reframing how you think and live your life is inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing your journey. I look forward to the next chapter-for both of us. Best, Jay.

[@But_WhatIf]

There is something really refreshing about listening to the life experience of someone almost double my age that seems wise and thoughtfull, that you dont find in KZbinrs of my age. I learned quite a bit and please keep going with the videos if that is what feels right! Drop me a message if you guys are ever in Germany, would love to have a chat :)

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so much, my friend. 🙏❤️😊

[@c.m.b.1676]

Im a SAHM and it has been so rough lately. This video made me cry. I could relate so much and Im going to try to implement the things you did. I watched it twice in a row because it was so wonderful. Thankyou for this!!

[@ILTOMBA]

I hear a wise man speaking! You'll get there

[@cecilia9364]

What a gift! Beautiful in every way possible!!!

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so much!! ❤️

[@MidaliaLebron]

You are great at this. Can't wait to see more! You are also a great human being and father.❤

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so much!! 🙏

[@tribuventura]

This felt pure, honest, and with a great deal of true vulnerability. I think it´s amazing we get to experience your side of this adventure and personal discovery as a man and as a father. Great job man, loved it.

[@narcissismrehabilitation]

I have to say, that as a therapist? You are seriously kicking ass by allowing for vulnerability and accepting that you're the "dumbass", lol. :) Your therapist is awesome and so are you! *high-five*

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you, April. :)

[@yash5814]

You're a warrior sir and great production quality! 👍

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so much Kshitij! You are the best! Makes me want to produce more videos. :)

[@MariaJMcMahon]

Josh, you seem like an introverted, intuitive, feeling man (in Myers Briggs terms) whereas your son definitely has an extroverted vibe, possibly a thinker too. I think you may be an INFJ, which would make you a rare personality type as a man. I mention this because I’ve noticed that introverted intuitive feeling men often feel that they ‘should’ be someone different to who they are. They’re rare, so not mentored to develop their abilities by society the way other types are. Introspection and shared insights are their superpower, as you are demonstrating in your videos, which are great by the way! Men like you are needed as mentors for other men like yourself. We need the emotionally intelligent men who are not afraid of their own vulnerability to step forward in the world right now. Thank you for doing this.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you 🙏😊

[@cathyo7393]

How did I miss this? As a parent of 2 young adult children in college, this made me cry unexpectedly and opened my heart wide. Thank you. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you for your lovely words, Cathy. :)

[@agyos]

Simply brilliant! Thank you!

[@briansilkworth5486]

So good. Thank you.

[@shericlunan3693]

Love this! Wow! You did it 😄

[@ExperienceSpanish]

What an excellent testimonial for your future family. I felt every word and every situation since after 30 days trip to Spain with my nephew really took us apart more than bring us together. Glad you have the opportunity to reconnect and to give us this gift of how to do it better. Love every word and every thought that you put into this documental.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

I am so sorry about you and your nephew, but as I show in this video, there is always a second chance! I hope you get the same opportunity to travel with him again. Thank you so much for your kind words. So happy that you enjoyed it so much!

[@arctic_skies]

Really nice video. Def enjoyed it !

[@daniellegraiser8606]

I can't tell you how emotional this video made me. My mother and I have a very VERY strained relationship and a lot of the things I feel would bring us closer you bring up in this video. I've sent it to her in the hopes that she watches it with an open mind and an open heart. Thank you for sharing this openly and having the courage to be this vulnerable.

[@KristaEliason]

Love your channel!

[@joh4647]

Loved this video ❤️❤️

[@ashaw6960]

Love this!,

[@rachbryant]

Such a wise and beautiful video. Thank you!

[@gloriamia7633]

showing vulnerability is a rare raw authentic thing in this world but so much learning, so much reconnecting, and wisdom , very inspirational many thanks!

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you, Gloria!

[@royworks28]

This video is awesome, Thankyou

[@DL-by8el]

Beautiful scenes and advice.

[@xiouco]

Excellent! Thank you 🌠

[@andreabalderstone4272]

I had one of those lightbulb moments watching this Vlog. All the pressure I put on myself to map out what I want to do and how those experiences are going to feel. Then when this does not materialise I feel a sense of the world crashing around me. Having taken on board your advice I will approach my life in a different way and see if I can live in the moment more. Thank you for sharing😊

[@wilsonmoreno787]

Wow. What a wonderful video. Father and son. No tengo palabras para exprexar lo que siento. Se me puso la Pier de gallina (goose bumps). I hope you make more videos together. Los felicito por compartir algo tan personal. I am looking forward to your next video.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Muchísimas gracias. 🙏

[@clupu2]

Fabulous- will be an understatement!

[@cslonginotti]

Great travel advice. great life advice. Thank you.

[@traciethomas3234]

Love your approach! Enlightened!

[@KDA593]

Thank you, Josh. This was truly inspiring!

[@CSNORG]

absolutely beautiful ...thank you ❤

[@robertohurtado3139]

Great storyteller. love it!!!!!

[@jh-cm7rx]

Love all your videos. There is a lesson to be learned with each of your videos. Thankyou!

[@julianajb]

That was amazing. It's so hard sometimes to allow us to be ourselves, even around our loved ones. I'm looking forward to more videos! :)

[@kimzeck9827]

Wonderful story!🌻

[@dvsls]

Breathtaking and inspiring video ❤

[@sterlmeister]

I appreciate this.

[@feelinguru-vywiththepaingu9808]

This is wonderful and so meaningful. Thanks for sharing and allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

[@Blopez383]

What great insight. It surely is something to ease the stress of a situation. Thank you

[@jenniferrice22]

Love how you put your heart into this experience. Blessings to you and your family.

[@LauraG1]

Absolutely subscribed!! More please!! Inspiring words and thoughtful content in all of the videography!! Can’t wait to watch more as you go through this journey with your wife and family!! Thank you for sharing!

[@jeanniep1003]

My husband always says, “if you want to minimize disappointment, you have to lower your expectations.” Needless to say, we’re both looking forward to future content. Thank you for sharing.

[@jeanniep1003]

And we can’t wait for future foodie takes.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

😊

[@SoulWhisperCreations]

This was so beautifully expressed, in every way... Thank you for sharing! 🙏

[@robelliot3511]

Thanks for sharing this story. I see a lot of parallels and have been enjoying your content all night.

[@evazee772]

Beautiful story of finally realizing what it takes and took with self growth on this chapter of dealing with adult children. Wise words for those who have adult children. This is exactly what I learned with my adult daughters. Thank you for putting this content out on KZbin!. Take care and safe travels

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you for your wonderful feedback!

[@kb9847]

I have now watched 2 of your 4 videos. I really enjoy your style and hope that you continue to make videos.

[@NurseyPooh]

Wonderful content!

[@andrewsema359]

Thanks for sharing your special moments with your son. Carry on the journey and enjoy the moments.

[@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger]

Your footage is just amazing! 🙉 omg…💕 love love love loooooove your introspection, your perspectives. ❤

[@handythinks2]

Your story telling is awesome! I’m inspired.

[@denisemankewitz8480]

WOW thank you ❤

[@melanieg6957]

Wonderful video. More please. Your insights are treasures.

[@ginam.8378]

What a great reminder to be flexible and open to change. Looks like an amazing trip...

[@sherroloff8610]

Boy you nailed this on so many levels.. kudos 👏👏being authentic always works.

[@SharonOnTheMove]

thank you, for just being in the imperfect moments, and enjoying Life. it does matter.

[@rikkibell7986]

Content and honesty were so refreshing, loved the ice beach!!!

[@he9524]

I loved this Josh. I am at a similar stage in my life and this really spoke to me. Please make more videos! 😊

[@SpectralightPhoto]

Thank you for taking us along on your journey to reconnect with your son. You gave some amazing life tips!

[@cindyrosen8170]

Beautiful video. I too share your mindset and this encourages me to make the same adjustments you did to live a more joyful life.❤️

[@donhazlett5991]

Great video! I congratulate you on your honesty and your courage. It's not easy to change old habit, but it sounds like you made some incredible discoveries.

[@psoneill813]

I love the honesty and openess. I am happy to have discovered your channel. In my 50's and trying to navigate the 2nd half of life.

[@Moongirl68]

This is so beautiful.

[@christelswift5461]

Thanks so much for sharing. This really spoke to me about opening up my mind to new ways of looking at things happening in my life, and rolling merrily along with “plot twists” with regard to plans and expectations.

[@LamaThubten]

Thank you for making and sharing this video, Josh! I look forward to future installments.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so much for watching, Thubten. Means a lot to me that you took the time. Definitely look forward to sharing more stories in the future!

[@Flowerhead247]

Wow... so much quality information in this video... brought me to tears, good tears though.

[@MariaCorrea-xi6lp]

Wonderful videos, I love the honesty and the depth of your presentations, a breath of fresh air. Thank you

[@elizabethmaloneorlando217]

A beautiful journey for both you & your son & of course your subscribers. TFS 📸🍷🌍🌎🌏

[@TheMikeyStory]

Please keep uploading videos and sharing your journey in life .

[@PowerAndBalance]

No wonder Nathaniel is such a great speaker. Wonderful video.

[@ShaunazTweet]

I watched all of your other videos before this one & yes, all great, but this one resonates in my heart. You gave lessons I can use everyday in all experiences. Congrats on your move & thanks for tips. Great videos!!💕