When To Lie To Your Wife. Marty Simpson - Full Special

When to lie to your wife according to Marty Simpson is when she asks how she looks in a dress, but that might be difficult if you have a lot of trouble lying. In this full Dry Bar Comedy special form Marty Simpson, Marty breaks down his son's hilarious problem with lying. Whether you have bats in your attic or you're just at home minding your own business, this full Dry Bar Comedy special from Marty Simpson is sure to keep you laughing from start to finish.
If you enjoyed this full Dry Bar Comedy special from Marty Simpson, be sure to check out the links below for even more Dry bar Comedians you might enjoy!
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• Funniest joke you’ve e...
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Bengt Washburn
• Dry Bar Double Feature...
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[@ruthgar6860]

“A Pentecostal mouse” 😂😂😂 And that crowd comment “smack em” I died 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks Ruth!!!!

[@moxifoxi7710]

Bug man was brutal 😂😂 I lost it when he said the bats have shoulder blades 🤣😂

[@NatandGeorge]

Google images of upside down bats dancing

[@arturogarcia9946]

Bateman seen some crazy stuff 😜

[@MartySimpson]

It’s so funny to me how folks mention this like to me. It’s so true though. They have tiny little shoulder blades!!!! Hahhahaha.

[@katherinesemple8989]

1🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂​@@NatandGeorge

[@RalfSiwiti]

‘Lost my keys’😂🤣🤣I am from Zambia and I really couldn’t stop laughing at the Lusungu and Thandizo story. We do swallow some of our words when we speak english!

[@joscelynpease6656]

That was so funny!!

[@arturogarcia9946]

That house whith the pool😄

[@MartySimpson]

You spelled their names correctly!!! Thanks so much for the support. My new drybar special is out this week!

[@charlesford157]

I don't say this often but this guy is a natural. Looking forward to more of his stuff 👍

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks Charles!! My second Drybar dropped this week check it out!!

[@alessandrogambino420]

Yup. The worst thing about working as a teacher/coach ARE DEALING WITH PARENTS.

[@csjrogerson2377]

The worst thing about working as a teacher/coach IS dealing with parents. I'm not sending my kids to your school.

[@samuelwilliams6505]

I got to attend this show as a live audience member and he was the best comedian of the night.

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks Samuel!! My second drybar droppped this week. Check it out.

[@godofthebiblespeaks3188]

“There was a clear window where you could have proved that you have a soul.” Too funny! 😂😂😂

[@MartySimpson]

Thank you for noticing my favorite line!

[@martymcmannis6581]

This guy is great. Story telling, timeing, he's got it all . He can see the humor in everyday life, so he will probably go far.

[@lbwise1177]

This guy is just great. Had me crying I was laughing so hard. First couple jokes not the best but stay with him. He gets better and better!

[@cmclem1959]

I agree, especially after that woman yelled. "smack 'em". GOLD.

[@anastasiaderevo6126]

Thank you for that! I was about to leave, but saw your comment and by the end i was almost crying laughing, so thanks

[@stuffwithjasmine1025]

My faveeeeee

[@YTpkieren37]

7⅞

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks y’all!!!! It means a lot you’d stick with me! My second drybar dropped this week check it out. Curios for your thoughts! I think I started stringer on the second one. 😊

[@cherylhayes3105]

😄😄😄😄😄😄 .... the joke about the keys /kids ... HILARIOUS

[@angiemac130]

Marty I feel for you and your family. Our daughter had to have that surgery too. It was just heartbreaking to get thru! I'm so glad yah'll can have a little fun with it. Our daughter is 34 years old now and is doing great. Enjoyed your comedy very much! Best wishes and prayers and appreciation for your clean comedy success.

[@stephanieh.777]

I had that surgery 40 years ago - I have steel rods and wore that 9-month body cast. It's amazing how far medical technology has advanced since then!

[@MartySimpson]

This is amazing!! Savannah is 24 now so we are almost ten years into the rods!!!! She’s doing great too!! My new drybar dropped this week if you want more!

[@beatleme2]

bug man wasn't bonded but bonded recently ..Lol

[@cmclem1959]

The timing when that lady yelled, "smack 'em" was too much for me, I'm still in tears.🤣🤣🤣

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks!!!❤

[@ramelreed8482]

They "keys" joke was epic! I love how it builds

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks!!

[@lindablue7494]

The bat story was hilarious. The key story tore that one up. lol!

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks Linda!

[@vahidm6119]

I never leave comments… But this guy is hilarious! I love him I love him I love him 😍 amazing!!!

[@MartySimpson]

I feel honored to have your comment!!

[@davidjamison2127]

It's been awhile since I laughed this hard at a Dry Bar comedy show 😂

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks David!!

[@davidjamison2127]

It's been 2 years, and when I saw your response I had to listen to it again. Laughed hard again!

[@cliffords.8341]

This guy is truly hilarious! 😂🤣👏

[@ackimnsangwe9732]

Really hilarious especially with the southern accent. Cant wait for more from him...

[@fuzzyarmadillo1320]

@RogerWilco99 My brother lived in Savannah, Ga. and went by his middle name Alan but would never tell his friends what the L. in his first name stood for so when my parents and I drove down to see him they noticed Dad called him by his first and middle name (as parents due when a child is in trouble and growing up he apparently was often in trouble) and his friends noticed that however they heard it as Lord Alan not what Dad was saying which was Lloyd Alan. And "Lord" Alan never told them any differently.

[@MartySimpson]

I have an accent? 😮😂😂😂

[@EverywhereAndNowhere]

"...they'll probably go to that house right there..."😂

[@patriciacleary9146]

Hilarious! He would be a fun neighbor. My mom had bats, she called the sheriff's department. I told her she should have called me...my sons would have gotten them. I live in SC too. They will fly over the pool, dip down and get water...they don't bother you.

[@krissykrissy6878]

I agree, just make sure if you have long hair, wear it in a bun when swimming at night 😉 I think they're very cute

[@jesussaves7973]

Good for you!! Me too!! SC

[@VortexMagus]

Most importantly, bats keep the mosquito population waaaaaaaaaaay way down.

[@leeroy4208]

Are they not federally protected ?

[@MartySimpson]

@@VortexMaguswhen we got rid of them We immediately had a mosquito problem. Hahah.

[@ashleywilliams9732]

The speaking in tongues bat made me laugh so hard 🦇

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks Ashley!! My new drybar special is out this week!! ❤

[@LadyShyye]

The key/ kids joke and cell phone joke were hilarious!!😂😂😂😅🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks!!

[@remyllebeau77]

I think the "smack'em" is much less emotionally damaging.

[@svenkonig453]

context counts. lolol

[@timo4938]

Props to that lady!

[@ilsagalvin7195]

Oh my... I haven't laughed... This much!!! In some time... Thank you!!!

[@MartySimpson]

Thank you!!! ❤❤ my new drybar dropped this week if you want more!

[@schadowolf]

Laughed so hard at 5am woke up my wife and dogs! Absolutely hilarious!

[@MartySimpson]

This is such a great comment. Thanks so much!!

[@DoctorQuackenbush]

As a retired OR nurse, I teared up when you described you daughter hopping out of bed. Good for her!!

[@MartySimpson]

Let’s go!!! Loved reading this comment. Thanks so much. ❤

[@CoachShaunie]

The bit about the keys 🔑. Hilarious!!!

[@JakeSmith-ux1xk]

Thanks Marty for your expertise in comedy

[@MartySimpson]

Jake you clearly know your stuff. 😅

[@genxis6097]

I've wondered my entire adult life why people use the expression, "blind as a bat". Now I know. Thank you, Drybar. ;)

[@InnannasRainbow]

Some types of bats have excellent eye sight.

[@JustinMacMMA]

@@InnannasRainbow that's deep

[@dw1617]

Heeeeheee!!! 🤣

[@jonathanrendza6059]

That Zambia woman part was amazing lol

[@21DRANKZ]

I was wondering when that part was but when it did, it was hilarious 1🤣

[@StephAnie-bw2ov]

Laughing out loud ...from Zambia!❤😅

[@ackimnsangwe9732]

@ 18:06

[@ackimnsangwe9732]

Really funny. I like how he gets the names correct. Kikikiki 🤣😂. Make another set and it will take 5 min to make them....

[@lucyk8829]

Loving it from Zambia. 😁

[@janesekillebrew8774]

Hash tag hubba hubba 😂🤣 funniest dad ever 🤩 I had to pause to breathe from laughing so hard 🤣🤣.

[@dakaliajohnson5831]

Between "bug man" & helping the mom look for her "keys" I couldn't breathe!! Seriously hilarious.

[@jodirenaud7917]

Bug man was so funny ahahaha!

[@laydeeTeaAurora]

Same! 🤣 🤣 🤣

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks y’all!! My new special is on drybar this week!! ❤

[@nicholasfrancis8381]

It sucks that today's world is so messed up that the comedians have to explain jokes to the crowd, so they don't get upset if it's not politically correct etc. Sad times. Not to mention that they tell jokes for a living and that's why they paid to see them. They didn't pay to see a political activist and join a support group. Laugh people, laugh. A black comedian Alonza Boden said it best "a joke is either funny or not funny, you don't go out and form a focus group to see who got offended by the joke". Awesome comedian and rational thinker.

[@janetlocsos5384]

Yeah, he is one of the Best on Dry Bar!

[@squachsquad]

Absolutely

[@DarknoorX]

You can thank feminists and the LGBT greatly for that. Oh wait, I must explain that what I meant was... No it is exactly how it sounds.

[@timo4938]

@@DarknoorX And BLM, Obama and former Vice President Biden!

[@DarknoorX]

@@timo4938 I'm not American to know if you're sarcastic or not.

[@ultimatehomestead1466]

Irreplaceable " Keys : Kids " bit ... Patent worthy indeed.

[@MarleneHen]

I was hysterical on that one. Brilliant.

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks y’all!!

[@janesekillebrew8774]

I've watched almost all the Drybar videos and this one with bats is my favorite. I've rewarched it 6x now. 🥰🤣😂 This guy still makes me laugh so much 🥰🤣

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks so much for the support!! My new special is out this week on drybar !! Let me know if it’s as good?

[@janesekillebrew8774]

@@MartySimpson I got an 8 minute clip 🥰✨😂😄🤣😁 Looking forward to more ✨🥰

[@janesekillebrew8774]

I made my brother watch it. Then my Momma. Both times listening to them laugh 😂🤣✨ was the best. 2 years later & we still giggle over the bat & pool fiasco 🥰😊😄😁😂🤣

[@Racingirl911]

I absolutely LOVE this guy!!! And, I hope that people who are just getting comedy take a lesson from him that cursing incessantly is NOT funny.

[@MartySimpson]

Racing girl you rock!! Thx!! ❤

[@Racingirl911]

@@MartySimpson LOL!!! You’re welcome! Thank you!!

[@dyslstudio8889]

A Pentecostal bat is hilarious 😂😂😂

[@captaingti]

Bravo Bravo this is great. love the set man. the hair thing and the Keys/kids thing had me laughing so hard.

[@MartySimpson]

Oh Captain, my Captain! ❤

[@rogersledz6793]

Thank you so much for uploading this video. It is helping me get through the pandemic!

[@ekdaufin1485]

I saw this a couple years ago. It’s incredibly funny again!!!

[@madamejb4057]

Hunched over laughing!!!

[@kendrav.2088]

OMG I have bats too and guess what... No one does bat removal here either 😄

[@petehenry7878]

Better to have bats in the belfry or attic than to have bugs in your tea while you're trying to relax on the porch in the evening. BTW, Bats do not attack people. When/If they get caught in your hair, it's because they were going for the bugs flying around your head.

[@asintonic]

@@petehenry7878 lmao

[@karatzification]

sounds like a job for The Bugman

[@asintonic]

@@karatzification lol

[@kendrav.2088]

@@petehenry7878 yes I know..but they do carry rabies 😬..

[@nicholasfrancis8381]

If you put a pair of thin metal framed glasses on him, he could pass a director Skinner from the X Files 😂

[@BetSeeBoo]

Hilarious!! Should have way more views!!

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks!!!!❤

[@USSResolute]

Something oddly satisfying about someone from the South telling Utahans that "God knows your heart" haha

[@MartySimpson]

Hilarious.

[@kristophersingleton7483]

Great laugh brother !

[@rustysimon2510]

😆😆😆 OUTSTANDING

[@gogoscorner1111]

You guys... I'm gonna get fired! 😂😂😂.. I work at a spa and can't be laughing this loud, but I can't stop listening 😭😭😭

[@arturogarcia9946]

The pools 😄

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks so much for this comment!!

[@Sheerkat7]

Southern humor works in Provo. The Zambian mama story was hilarious.

[@bronwynsmith4653]

Mouse talking in tongues ? Lol

[@JoshPhoenix11]

That is exactly what bats look like when they climb, they're the most awkward looking things when not flying and trying to anything thats not upside down.

[@MartySimpson]

Preach!

[@aaronsandquist3122]

I like him, hope he gets big!

[@MartySimpson]

My second drybar dropped this week. If you want more!

[@annadoyle2947]

This is one of the best!! Love him!!

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks Anna! ❤

[@gutzycowardbme]

You looked just like a bat crawling up the wall! LOL!!

[@maryseguevara8131]

One of the best! My sides hurt!

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks! Special two on drybar this week!! ❤

[@whittmckinney3824]

Great fun! Hat is well employed--wonderful kid discipline advice--all very smart & FUNNY.

[@MartySimpson]

HAHAHHAHHA. ❤

[@susechanda23]

I loved the Zambian kids joke...am Zambian too🇿🇲😅😅😅

[@MartySimpson]

Shout out to Zambia!!

[@smallmovezmusic]

You're hilarious 😂 I needed this

[@edwardyue1615]

Funny as heck

[@luciafuruta4075]

First time I've seen him. He's great!

[@jessicaevans2564]

He was so good, I wanted to hit the like button twice.

[@MartySimpson]

Thank you so much Jessica!! ❤

[@ihatepoetryandmyself9456]

My mannerism as a kid was smiling lmao, they always knew I was lying or faking something. I thankfully grew out of that as a teenager.

[@keetopuffs]

I STILL smile in the worse situations 😆

[@BlueberryFundip]

@@ihatepoetryandmyself9456 You dont turn into one...its not something you can switch off 🤫

[@ihatepoetryandmyself9456]

@@BlueberryFundip I've noticed

[@hansamstel]

Very entertaining and fun!

[@adrienneweis]

Seriously. Thank you. Seriously. G-d bless you.

[@angelat.8997]

Hilarious!! 🤣

[@user-kp1ei7mn3x]

Awesome!

[@joshualuntsford]

2:53. That bat sound.

[@adrienneweis]

Thank you

[@marygrace3904]

Love the bat story!

[@bitteranjel6782]

Lmao sounds like my cousin 🤣 with his Bobcat he lives in South Carolina with Mr.Critter me n my coworkers used to take turns pranking him lmao 🤣

[@summerd7668]

I'm pretty sure The Bugman is Dale from King of the Hill.

[@adrienneweis]

You are fantastic. Thank you. Again.

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks so much!! ❤❤

[@deborahedelman2659]

Too funny!!!

[@Reman1975]

How to punish modern kids? A friend of mine has the perfect method. After buying his current house he had it fully renovated before they even moved in. For reasons not worth getting into here, during that renovation he had the electrician wire the power sockets so that any room that he may eventually want to use as a home office was on it's own circuit, with it's own breaker. This meant that he had a fuse box high up in a cupboard in his hallway where he could individually shut off the power to any of the kids rooms. If they'd just done something bad out of stupidity they'd get sent to their room. If they'd done something quite bad he'd take their phone off them first. But if they'd INTENTIONALLY done something that he felt was so bad that they needed to go to their room and think about their actions (Rather than sit and watch their TV, or play on their games console, or PC,) he'd tell them to do this, then wait until he heard a PC POST beep, PlayStation start up sound or muffled TV audio. If he heard any of these he'd pop the circuit breaker and cut all power to the sockets in their room. Moaning when this happened just got them in more trouble, because they'd obviously not been spending the time in solemn introspection like they'd been told to. Some people have said that this could be seen as excessively cruel to the kids, but how he see's it (and me for that matter) is that sending a kid to his or her room isn't really a punishment these days as they want to spend their every waking moment there anyway. Shutting off everything but lights brings the space in line with what OUR generation had for entertainment when we went to our bedrooms. The fact that this makes it a punishment means the kids are already spoilt by constant access to external stimulus that gets in the way of them being able to be happy just having some time to think. Kids now are so used to being perpetually spoon fed entertainment that they don't seem to be able to think for themselves.

[@leonessity]

I couldn't take my daughter's phone away, as her dad had purchased it for her, so i made my point clear another way... I took the battery to her phone, seeing as how I paid the hydro to keep it charged. Then i told her what my dad had done to me, at her age. As a punishment, I was expected to pay for each and every luxury that I took for granted. Dinner was priced at $3.50 -$2.50 for the food, $0.50 for power to cook dinner and $0.50 for dish soap and hot water. A bath might have cost me $4.00 for the soap and hot water... I didn't get an allowance, so I had to work extra hard around home, to bank up enough to cover my basics. It was the hardest two weeks of my life, as I learned the true value of a dollar earned. I had been caught stealing money from my dad and instead of the usual fists of fury to punish me, he opted for a more imaginative way to reform my behavior. Ultimately, it worked and thanks to my dad's creative parenting techniques, I've NEVER even been tempted to take anything that wasn't rightfully mine, since. It's called PARENTING... Tough love... Respect for the pecking order, respect for the rules and respecting one's self all come as a result of parenting challenges. Participation awards and the recent 'everyone is a winner' mentality contribute nothing to one's character. I don't believe in beatings nor violence, but I have seen many great benefits to creative parenting and mindgames... I bet your friend's kids are not only housebroken, but well adjusted, socially accepted and happy people BECAUSE your friend is their parent; not their friend.

[@beaupierrebondurant5651]

Filarious.

[@de4man780]

Marty, you are funnier than when I knew you at BLS!! Best wishes. Karen

[@AGENTRITEN]

Omg I cried my stomach hurts🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks so much!!

[@jiliangoslin7616]

I want a longer set!

[@MartySimpson]

Jillian my second drybar came out this week if you want more!!! ❤

[@libertywalker3473]

Smack them lol 😆 🤣

[@DavidSmith-sw5kg]

Great set. 👍

[@rwegimont]

Hashtag hubba hubba This guy’s easily one of the best on dry bar

[@MartySimpson]

Well you clearly know your stuff. I vote for you for head of the internet.

[@theknifeman7097]

Dude is funny as hell!

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks!

[@tylertownes9461]

I knew I was going to laugh before I clicked

[@MartySimpson]

What does that say about my face?

[@StephAnie-bw2ov]

Man this is hilarious!

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks!!!❤

[@enkido1619]

Good stuff I swear.

[@judemorales4U]

Loved him!

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks Jude.

[@alex16cole]

Genius

[@steventicknor8059]

Oh the Carolina bat song!!! They have scared the mess out so many of my friends!!!!

[@Cajungypsy682]

"It was a spiritual experience" 🤣

[@MartySimpson]

😂😂

[@johnsmith8981]

There was no transitions between a lot of the jokes. Don't cut the laughs guys!

[@MartySimpson]

I appreciate the advice! But I don’t do the editing. 😂

[@johnsmith8981]

@@MartySimpson That was at dry bar not you the set was great!

[@lilinsulatorchick9665]

The camera shot of the lady who said 'smack em!' Has her husband in the shot with a flat face lmao he's like 'dammit Emily'

[@MartySimpson]

Hahahahahhahaha ❤

[@manifest2963]

Pentecostal bats😂

[@victoriathorne8252]

Not having bats

[@hansamstel]

Thanks

[@cortniemoseley479]

So so clever truly enjoyable

[@MartySimpson]

Thanks Courtnie!

[@matthewrossilini5808]

Don't kill BATS! Bats are awesome and essential

[@MartySimpson]

We immediately had an insect problem when they were gone.

[@ceciliaseiber5507]

My favorite was where you the only one in this room. Yes. Well who broke the vase? I don’t know 🤷‍♀️

[@OldTimerGarden]

Did this guy remind anyone else of Billy Bob Thornton?

[@dcastleb69]

My son has/had scoliosis and had that same surgery. Definitely NO joke there!