Why being a strong person is bad for you

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Do you also identify as a ~strong person who doesn't quit and who toughs out hard times~? One of the most important realizations I've had this year is how this identity has led me into so not-so-ideal situations. In this video, we talk more about this and how we can become better at deciding which tough situations are worth fighting for and which ones we are better off quitting.
Please note that this video and my channel is for educational purposes only and it is not a substitute for therapy nor does it establish a client-clinician relationship. For support that is specific for your unique case, please seek help directly from a licensed and registered therapist in your jurisdiction.
As always, thank you for watching and i hope you are staying well 💛
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[@idreamofmoney7199]

Thanks for putting this out there - it’s a perspective that I hadn’t thought about before. Its not so much fear of changing my identity but a fear of changing to something that could create different problems to endure. As you say, what’s worth it will ultimately come down to your values.

[@fromaudreykao]

Thank you for your thoughtful comment! It reminds me of Elizabeth Gilbert's concept of the "sh*t sandwich" - any situation we find ourselves in is going to come with its own sh*t sandwich, it's about choosing which sh*t sandwich we are most willing to eat 🤷🏻‍♀

[@linadiaz7101]

So true.. so true. Thank you

[@fromaudreykao]

thank YOU for watching, Lina! 💕

[@chicacheca]

Lol I also thought you have to be strong! I think it’s different for women and men, but I def think being strong can be toxic in some ways!

[@fromaudreykao]

it's definitely a hard balance to strike - aiming for "healthy strength" from now on 😅

[@fromtheotherlane369]

ONLY DISCOVERING YOUR CHANNEL AND YOU RE EMBRACING THE DIRECTIONS I CAN RELATE MENTALLY NOW

[@fromaudreykao]

aw thank you for being here! glad to hear we're on this journey together 🫠💕

[@keyboardwarria]

your volume is a bit low

[@kassimsantone419]

I think you're generalizing. Making "strength" a part of your identity is a tradeoff that some people are willing to make and others I suppose are not. Winston Churchill for example often denigrated foreign powers he deemed to be threats to humanity with the intention of pursuing a battle with them (which as you said, may possibly have just a flaunt of "strength" on some subconscious level I do not deny). He denigrated Mahatma Gandhi saying he was a threat to humanity and tried to convince his political colleagues of this, it was as you said, a waste of time as Gandhi was largely harmless. Shortly after this a man named Adolf Hitler started gaining power in Germany and Churchill was the one who was first to know what Hitler was up to and was in the end the one who stopped him. Yes, if you are always ready to "go into battle" to "prove your strength" you will waste your time on occasion (like Churchill did with Gandhi) but if you don't have a few false positives you will run into false negatives (which can be much more dire, ie Hitler). There is no way to predict which occasions you should apply your strengths to with certainty. If you make "strength" a part of your identity your imagination may see things which are not there and you may waste time in futile pursuits (eg Gandhi), but at the same time if you remove strength from your identity you may not see things which actually are there (eg Hitler). "Those people who are imaginative see many more dangers than perhaps exist, certainly many more than will happen; but then they must also pray to be given that extra courage to carry this far-reaching imagination."- Winston Churchill

[@fromaudreykao]

this is an interesting perspective, thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kassim! I think it's important to be discerning of when to apply our strengths vs. when it's better to just let it go. We may not be making decisions like a President, whose decisions have a global impact, but these little decisions in our personal lives about where to stay strong vs. let go matter in a different way

[@kassimsantone419]

@@fromaudreykao Hehe, yeah I wasn't trying to disparage therapy I was just saying there are some edge-cases (but I guess that goes without saying). For certain people you actually kind of need to be strong all the time, but if you're not a world leader I guess it's probably healthier to take breaks from that. I think I tend to lean closer to that category personally. :P

[@kassimsantone419]

@@fromaudreykao Do you have any opinions on therapy with AI? People could feel more comfortable sharing personal thoughts with a robot they know for sure can't judge them (could also reduce biases such as the ones we're discussing). Either way, I'm working on some health-informatics projects and I know you mentioned in another video that you are "entrepreneurial". We should chat about some projects we could collaborate on if you're interested! You can contact me at my email address included in my KZbin channel! :D

[@fromaudreykao]

@@kassimsantone419 sounds like a very interesting project! I can't see your email but feel free to message me on IG, my handle is in the video description :)

[@kassimsantone419]

@@fromaudreykao Sounds good! I'll contact you soon! :)