Humans are an Invasive Species? | 2343 | Short Sci-Fi Story

Original Story:
/ invasive_species_a_one...
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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:28 Invasive Species by slightlyassholic
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #SciFi
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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[@dbensdrawinvids8390]

Humans: the interstellar version of that crackhead stealing copper wire.

[@BushWookie666]

"You wouldn't happen to have the enemy's communicator?" Humans: "Already sent it"

[@ArgonianSkaleel]

wait until aliens see Lord Of War. Or MacGyver.

[@dalemorgan8263]

Humans: "I see where you're going with this and I love it. No charge."

[@larrythompson8630]

Hope they decontaminate it before bringing it aboard.

[@williamcastro3017]

You are friends we like You! 😁

[@jgkitarel]

Also Humans: "They still haven't figured out how we compromised their network a decade ago, and we are still spamming them with porn, memes, Rick Rolls, and the occasional malware."

[@Ackalan]

I love this story, it's a sweet tale of two beings repulsed by each other on an instinctual level, united by their common goal of murdering someone else.

[@RyanWilliams-sq8fg]

And the MUFF,! can't forget the MUFF!......

[@Ackalan]

@@RyanWilliams-sq8fg By the fluffy bean, I almost forgot!

[@kennetth1389]

Love it. Deathworld has been used to death. But now we have VERMINWORLD!

[@moteroargentino7944]

As they said, there are fates worse than death. A deathworld will kill you. A verminworld will make you wish you were dead...

[@Naymy]

If we are not a Class 12 Deathworld, or Class 2 Ghost World or now, a Verminworld, then, something is very wrong in the Universe.

[@lolHyperactive]

beware of the vermintide xD

[@stradorious4467]

Yes-yes

[@torg2126]

They're not mutually exclusive, I mean, look at what happens when you introduce Australian predators anywhere else.

[@ServantOfOdin]

To quote from DBZA: "What do you call a group of humans?" "An infestation"

[@theamiralgarner]

Mister popo pecking order :)

[@Vorcupine]

Dragonball Mentioned, like earned.

[@andrewcastro9758]

This man needs to do voice acting for Audiobooks.

[@TheMjollnir67]

Absolutely!

[@Inufan2005]

I was of the opinion that when Dungeon Life got published they should've just used Agro's recordings.

[@johnnycampbell3422]

I honestly thought that is what he is doing. But aggred, I wish Agro the best and as much voice acting work as he wants.

[@Toxked]

He is very good, engaging, easy to follow. There are other channels that do this. But they aren't as interesting to listen to. Some even have the same stories.

[@johnnycampbell3422]

@Inufan2005 agreed. I haven't heard the commercial version, but I don't see how it could be any better than what Agro did.

[@0neTwo3]

LOVED the colorful language of this story!! An AI “reader” would have completely muffed this one up. Good on ya for keeping it literally real !

[@theshadyprotector8412]

Humanity is like a fungus. We grow on you.

[@rhoydplaz2853]

Literally

[@Luredreier]

Yes, we do indeed.

[@derekdrake8706]

It actually makes sense that expressions like smiling would be incredibly disturbing to aliens, just as theirs would be to us.

[@waldo2543]

Even dogs dont like our smiles initially but they do learn to tolerate them as they get to know their humans, showing teeth = aggression and all that.

[@dantupper1784]

If this was a novel, pretty sure humans and dralurians are going to end up getting along just fine....

[@overlordmagnatron]

Last summer I asked my neighbor if he had bathed recently and it immediately started a fist fight. I have to admit I only asked that question because the stench coming off him was even making my eye's water.

[@mystikmind2005]

well, the type of unbathed person who easily starts a fist fight will typically be of both limited means and limited intelligence, not a star ship captain.

[@overlordmagnatron]

@@mystikmind2005 My neighbor is indeed not a star ship captain. He captains a larger salvage vessel, and every fiber of my being wishes I was lying to you here. As limited as his intellect and means may be, he makes up for it by who he knows. And somehow he has managed to not sink the ship for over a decade now.

[@mystikmind2005]

@@overlordmagnatron Your saying he has a tow truck?? well that explains being quick to get in a punch up,,, i mean, being aggressive is practically a requirement of the job if you want to be successful at it. You might want to think about moving house, or buying a bullet proof vest!

[@overlordmagnatron]

@@mystikmind2005 Not a tow truck, a real ship its nearly 150 feet (45 meters) in length and is used mostly for recovering and salvaging sunk boats and ships. I think they are out decommissioning an old oil rig at the moment.

[@staticbuilds7613]

His punches come with poison damage

[@gretholondeporey8527]

May the moist sweet Muff be praised!

[@Ryvaken]

Someone had fun writing that.

[@homoerectus6953]

"themselves and there scabby planet" - Classic Earth

[@urbypilot2136]

Proof is the fact that the Rock practicqlly has an entire menagerie in its bridge

[@syvajarvi2289]

That was hilarious😂😂😂. For the writer, for the squirrel, and for the algorithm.

[@keithmays8076]

And For The Great Muff!😂

[@aaronerror6819]

I do believe this is a fresh take on human expansion Human's being humans for sure, infesting the cosmos!

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

oh jeez there is even a spacehulk this is absolutely hilarious

[@IRMentat]

I am shocked, SHOCKED. Well, not that shocked.

[@danielleriley2796]

I like it. The busted ship captain was smart enough to put two and two together when the humans had one of their transmitters to ask for one from their enemy…

[@jamesogden7756]

Must have this author on more. This humorous disrespectful banter is glorious! I am quite entertained.

[@MyrdinAnnoth]

The author of this story has a talent for funny dialogues and well delivered humor. Would not mind to see more from them, hell even from this exact setting!

[@MidnightSmoke]

Yes I have bathed recently. Here is a like and comment for the story, for scaring me, to help your channel grow, and get you the recognition you deserve.

[@DisIzDaName]

Absolutely love the mock cussing, lmao!

[@johnnycampbell3422]

Jupiter's cock, some of the muff stuff was grin inducing.

[@tabithachastain6999]

I LOVE the alien cussing

[@markfergerson2145]

There’s more than one way to conduct diplomacy, it seems. Was it Keith Laumer who had an alien species that took offense if you failed to insult them adequately? Good to see that trope revived. I hope there’s a sequel or at least more tales set in this universe.

[@JohnJBrowne11209]

Retief of the CDC!

[@jamesha175]

"son of a worm!"

[@mattbrown5511]

My mother was a caterpillar, thank you very much. :)

[@DavidWilliams-uj2rb]

This was like Red Dwarf mixed with Hitchhiker's guide. Very well done and cudos to the reader.

[@mariokajin]

Holly muff this was almost hysterical.

[@portmoneul]

This just cracked me up. For the algo. For the upvotes. For the computer. The lack of bathing insult was spot on. 😂😂😂

[@bradwolf07]

I can't tell you all just how much I enjoyed this story. Humans being humans, we terrorize the Galaxy without even trying (or meaning to really). It's just so charming. And despite my aversion to spiders, I like these weirdos

[@mikehenthorn1778]

Im reminded of a book series where there are spider like critters. Their name is not important. The humans all thought when they saw them " Get it off! Get it off! " We can work with you just no touching.

[@Shadow.Dragon]

Great story; Excellent narration! This story had me smiling from the start. But when the captain said "Pecker Warts!", I lost it! LOL!!!

[@klasandersson7522]

Oh my, I´m having to wipe coffee from all over after this one! 😂 Damn good reading Agro, but how the heck could you read this with a straight face? 😆

[@orrismckay7269]

This had to be one of the greatest intro,s of anything of all time

[@TCFamas]

500 more and the beard gets his well deserved fecking play button!!!

[@monty9456]

From what i can tell, "Muff" is the hfy equivalent of "squanch" Was not expecting muff to be so blatantly stated 😂

[@denifnaf5874]

This needs to be a series

[@mogarth3866]

I love the idea of humans just being considered the rats/cockroaches of the universe and I I don’t know why but it fills me with pride

[@dragoniceful]

I love the spiders’ way with words.

[@TheMonkey747]

"You wouldn't happen to have any... Would you?" 😂😂😂

[@klackon1]

That was one of your best: I really enjoyed it. The author has a great sense of humour and it was well written, so thanks a lot for choosing to read it on your excellent channel.

[@smaragdwolf1]

I like these Spiders^^ Casually swearing, joking with themself, no strict hierachy. Humans with a spider phobia surely will be shocked, but i can see them as future Friends.

[@leonievanheerden7090]

Compliments to the author, this story was pure deliciousness, wrapped in perfect humour 💐⭐⭐💐

[@tlo_m1t917]

*To the tune of "O' Holy Night"* "OH HOLY MUFF. WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS FUUUUUUUUUUCK US?"

[@Sum-kj8jo]

Contact the voice for Christmas special

[@sgtrock68]

OH, damn! Outstanding! I don't remember ever laughing all the way through any of the stories before this one. Humans can still be the scourge of the galaxy AND it can all be 'milk out the nose funny' at the same time...cuz sometimes life is so muffed up all you can do is laugh hysterically.

[@LuciferVonCarstein]

Absolutely love the writing on this one.

[@darkhorse13golfgaming]

This one was loads of fun bro lol. I liked the alien perspective and the story actually made me laugh.

[@ArronRatliff]

This is my fourth watching of this video. I love the swear words the author decided on for the spider people.

[@Maeshalanadae]

Sounds like they never tried communicating with us.

[@weirdredpanda]

How do you insult a human? Maybe imply that they bathed recently?😂

[@Renegadebane]

I think we humans could be good friends with the muff loving spiders if they weren't so up their own grundle, trading partners maybe. At least they're unintentionally funny but i feel like it would get old.

[@jasperzanovich2504]

I love this setting. I can already see the shanty towns inside of the ship, traveling markets where you can buy everything. It's like the spacers from The Expanse but a lot more gypsy. And the spider people are a lot of fun as well.

[@billcook7285]

😂😂😂😂 this story may be the first thing I've ever shared! My son's going to love it! 😂😂😂

[@jrsydvl7218]

Between the quality delivery and top notch stories. I can see these as twisted twilight zone episodes.

[@notcherbane3218]

This is hilarious I wish we could hear more stories like this

[@wepntech]

This one feels like a fun novel series to get into for a month or 2. Love the cheeky little millitary asset exchange.

[@AchievementDenied]

Humans, AKA "The Galactic Loot Goblins"

[@parastitch]

I absolutely love creative swearing

[@UmaROMC]

Now I pushed a buncha buttons

[@SilverMKI]

Wait, too many buttons to choose from!

[@westernbody]

I always press the big red shiny one

[@JRRodriguez-nu7po]

I love his coat. It has a military air wo being there and fits his look well.

[@whunt5533]

Best Star Trek episode ever.

[@billewilde1]

I have officially adopted my new curse word. "Crinkle".

[@bow-tiedengineer4453]

Honestly, it felt more like technical slang. To crinkle something it to make it be covered in wrinkles, like if you crumpled paper into a ball, so "reduced to crinkle" sounds like slang for something being irreparably crushed or bent out of shape.

[@TheJasonBorn]

That last bit, lol. For the Agro-rtyhm!

[@michaelcandello8678]

I snerked right when the admiral snerked😂😂

[@dyxifltline]

The smart assed aliens are too much. You are killing me.

[@stevemiller8032]

99.5k keep it going He deserves it.

[@grantcox4764]

That was one of the most enjoyable stories ive heard lately. Good story and great narration...

[@codywilson2629]

You know i had always pictured you as a slightly excentric english aristocrat based on your voice. Cant twll you how cool it is that you have a face that matches. Love when that happens. Thanks for all your hard work

[@vanishl.2693]

That three button deal was undeniable

[@KarlF45]

Well done to the writer, and thank you for your work too :)

[@achimdemus-holzhaeuser1233]

For the Author For the Rythm For the Muff.

[@kdmbigpig]

This has now been added to the Saturday session playlist to share with an aquatence

[@pheonixblue01]

This two button plan is genius.

[@robertunderwood4262]

I wish there were more stories like this. Super funny.😂😂😂

[@jeffreyleimkiller8547]

Congratulations on 100k subs bro

[@Vonbek32]

omfgs lol great story but spit soda on my monitor laughing

[@danielleriley2796]

You’re really good at this. The different voices are fitting the characters and don’t sound silly or unfitting.

[@dwightehowell8179]

I listened to this one twice!

[@craigf6277]

Glad I had my headphones on for that one😅

[@richardhowells5804]

This reminds me of Yahtzee's books, especially the "Will Save the Galaxy for Food" and the "Will Destroy the Galaxy for Cash" books. The swearing is based on mathematical nomenclature 😂.

[@maciek_k.cichon]

O, that was one of the good ones in a while. I'll definitely check out the author for more. Thanks for a great read!

[@maxwellwelch3717]

99.5k! Almost there, brother man!

[@quietlistener7054]

This story made my day, thanks for the great read!

[@dollarbill6102]

That first part was some good Terry Pratchett shit gonna have to save this so I can look up the author later

[@antonfowler6582]

Loved the cursing 😂

[@EeBee51]

Thanks Squirrel. Apart from your excellent narrations, by following the links back to Reddit I've found so many wonderful stories.....

[@sonjavoorhees4759]

Second group of spider aliens I like from your stories the one where they save to little girl was great too

[@Vhailor_Mithras]

*Reads Title.* "Hell yeah we are!" 😎

[@bananabreadguy7960]

Ain't that Charlie from hazbin hotel

[@AgroSquerril]

an AI interpretation of her

[@osmacar5331]

careful varbalase my show up.

[@denifnaf5874]

50 sporebux ain't worth it ​@@osmacar5331

[@denifnaf5874]

​@@osmacar5331 50 sporebux ain't worth it

[@sheldonbuchanan9484]

thisnstory is less "humans are space Orcs" and more "humans are feral space goblins"

[@jasonswearingin1009]

Damn I thought I had good wet sloppy stories for fishing and beer times! Mother Muffer is going in my vocabulary!

[@riprapter6322]

I always listen S2F {START TO FINISH) I always like also- love your narrations.

[@yomogami4561]

i rather enjoyed the interplay between the humans and dralurians thanks for the story and narration

[@OldG-regUpTo-11]

This was executed so well. I couldn't remember what 'muff' meant at first. So I translated it in my mind as 'sex organ' and thought they were insulting their own god. Then the captain of the human ship said the line about 'aren't they the ones who worship...?' and I lost it! All previous statements came together in one big joke for me. This should be converted to script and released as modern day Space Balls. It was great!

[@nigredoooalgown6245]

I miss watching the little fishy cleaning the floating rock. :/

[@mheermance]

This was a riot.

[@WattsonorSomething]

Busted up laughing more than once at work lol

[@dracula3811]

I had to go to the ER for since stuff recently and had a lot of waiting time. I came across your channel and it is by far the best one in this genre. I subscribed while listening to the first one.

[@janelandin9356]

That was brilliant- best in ages!

[@andrewgiancola4928]

This one had me rolling! Loved it so much!!!