Bill Burr - Advice: Facebook Messages

billburr.com/ and www.allthingscomedy.com/

[@lessthanthreemetal]

Done. It's over. Walk away.

[@worldchampionshions]

+Scott Krasman Best part

[@clay7182]

Count your money. Keep it simple. You blew it.

[@MRJTD99]

@@clay7182 This isn't even about money. This is about self-respect. No one should just be the person someone "settles for".

[@MrNathanasher]

"Done. Its over. Walk away" I love that - immediately lol. Keep it really real, *Billiam!*

[@joeshab123]

"You got instinct and you can't teach that!" Hahaha

[@GiantSandles]

"Like De Niro in Heat" why did I enjoy that line so much lol

[@sidjtd]

GiantSandles Because it’s a great actor In a great movie?

[@V3rnSqwd5611]

Don’t get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat when you feel the heat coming around the corner

[@LlibertarianGalt]

'Never, and I mean never, get involved with something you can't walk away from in 30 seconds or less'

[@AntonSlavik]

Bill Burr provides the best relationship advice _ever_. I don't even know any trained psychologists who can be so down to earth, direct, and noble.

[@Svilly12]

It's actually crazy how awesome his advice is. He's one of the few who's actually fighting for men's rights with as much vigor as many females do for their own, and his advice is sensible... it's fucking strange for me to hear, as I know him mostly just for his early standup!

[@AntonSlavik]

Hot Dogs some of us have genius and just need the green light to let it flow. You're absolutely correct describing his advice. It helps he's not selling a fixed idea. Totally genuine

[@Danielbboylight]

Silver Pill its cause he hung around patrice Oneil the best at relationships

[@JulianBollerhoff]

I m being totally honest. I m actually a trained psychologist and Bill Burr really inspires me. For some people this is exactly the right advice and the way to tell it.

[@noahkelchner276]

always listen to your gut. ALWAYS.

[@verticalhorizon4633]

He'll answer: I miss your face, too. At belt level.

[@m.a.4949]

Yep.

[@InnerDness]

Hey ohhhh

[@_jadori_175]

"everytime you're not looking at her, she is going to staring at the back of your head..looking at your dumb shoulders" lol

[@wolfymma]

wow I felt like he was almost personally talking to me. very inspirational stuff

[@_jadori_175]

"chasing down sabertooth tigers with sharpened sticks" hahahaha

[@ToGetToTerrapin]

I love how upset Bill gets sometimes, how personally he takes it as a member of the male gender...heh heh heh

[@FoardenotFord]

Bill's dead on here. Wish I'd had the balls/smarts to walk away immediately when I was in a similar situation. Thankfully that's over and I'm smarter for it - I don't care if you're a man or a woman, gay, straight, or bi, you can't let people walk all over you

[@MRJTD99]

Well said, my friend. Well said.

[@peteranon8455]

If a person is settling for you, leave 'em.

[@Devilya85]

Bill always sums it all up in last 10 seconds, that's all they need to hear.

[@mightymoeish]

That whole "why did you snoop on my stuff, I thought you trusted me," doesn't make sense, man or woman. Trust must be EARNED.

[@fistoffries]

What's funny, if he follows through and dumps her, within a year she will be sending him facebook messages about missing his face.

[@chilloutlawolf8622]

😂

[@donavanweaver4503]

Love the “like De Niro in Heat” line... noticed that he says it a lot but it’s hilarious😂

[@brettlee5227]

i love it when he talks away from the mic. amazing

[@trevorrr4]

Everyone talks about how Bill's #1 advice is rub one out and then make your decision. But, really, his #1 piece of advice is "don't get mad".

[@Scorch428]

One thing Ive learned in life is: Don't ask a question that you don't want the answer to.

[@calvinq8714]

Scorch428 those are the answers you need to hear

[@as-qs2ct]

Scorch428 y

[@MRJTD99]

That's a coward' s phrase.

[@weathersytv3572]

Thank you bill.

[@tonywords6713]

"shes busy buying her own house". I knew that stood out to me at first. shes just using the guy for a place to stay in town.

[@99names16]

Oh shit great catch

[@garymaccagnone3669]

It's over.

[@johnsterne178]

You got instinct and you cant teach that! hahahahaha the no warrant thing is ridiculous Bill is the best

[@alexanderkelly7819]

Love you bill. Funny af. I'm conservative and thanks for actually being funny

[@wingnutmcspazatron3957]

like deniro in heat dahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[@Jabeckham94]

This Ironic idea. That if a Women snoops is perfectly fine and the guy should get over it. But if the table is flipped all of a sudden it's a major trust issue. Double standard broads.

[@truthteller4442]

Yup. Most women will play masterful psychological games with you. Remember, most want it all their way. So, if she wants to do something unreasonable -- that she knows is unreasonable -- and you catch her, she will always throw it back at you and play upon your "insecurities," as if you're the problem. Like I always say, if you ever find yourself constantly snooping, there's a reason for this. Your intuition has informed you that something is off with her, and your intuition is never to be ignored.

[@Graemedico]

relationships have always been double standards......relationships nowa days are a joke.!!

[@sumeahsking8019]

Surth I don’t let them get away with that double standard. It’s not perfectly fine and they know you’re right.

[@bluesteel8376]

umm what? That double standard doesn't exist, or at least it shouldn't. I have caught ex's snooping through my shit and I make them feel terrible about it. It is absolutely unacceptable. They do it with the sole intention of finding something to get angry about. It's fucked.

[@luizero26]

"it's fucking over"

[@Nastypsychoboy]

Makes me laugh when he talks off the mic, its like his brain thinking

[@Br0ns0n]

Spot on.

[@_jadori_175]

*moves back from microphone* Done. Its over. Walk away!

[@thecoxlong4316]

The Green Acres joke killed me

[@johnmccoy2380]

GAME OVER

[@marzwoody]

Like de niro in heat, walk away. ahahaha

[@73THUNDERDOME73]

Guaranteed she cried and yelled.

[@whochairs]

Yup, had something similar to this and got called every name in the book. Funny thing is, I wasn't even snooping, we were both looking at her phone setting an alarm for the next day and the dude just texted then. Whenever you get a reaction like that, and they're trying to push things so far over the top instead of putting themselves in your shoes, that's a verrrrry bad sign.

[@cipriantapu3558]

Yup, run while you can

[@isaiahjames93]

[@gustavofring8765]

Run run

[@cky1088]

words of wisdom.

[@Denmark_1974]

Yes Bill, we know.

[@kingdaniel0000000]

I'm really surprised he didn't take the route of, why didn't the other guy message her back. He saw his opportunity and ran for the damn hills.

[@99names16]

That would devastate me man.. but I wouldn’t stay. I would leave for sure

[@web]

1:05 is the moment for those who are on mobile

[@Scorch428]

DONE! Walk away!

[@Lamozinda]

quite honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if she left that fb page up on purpose. I know there's always the possibility that she did in fact forget, but it still makes me wonder a lil.....

[@johnnonamegibbon3580]

True, true.

[@Lamozinda]

I have to completely disagree with you on this. I haven't been in many relationships, but in every instance, I was the one to end it. However, I have been told that I am not a typical female

[@johnnonamegibbon3580]

Women are a mixed bag. When they want out they often but not always hope to paint the man as the villain so that they don't feel like the bad guy when leaving. Patrice used to joke about that.

[@FuckGoogle2]

Did you tell them you had to find yourself?

[@sumeahsking8019]

Lamozinda The female brain at work..

[@66ott7]

wow! thats pretty fuckin good man. brilliant!

[@SonoTom]

that right, Bill. and when he's done saying his piece, then the tricks will really ramp up. guy had better get steely.

[@manbearpig738]

what kind of sane man even needs to ask this question lol

[@KRAPYBARA84]

You know, I am a girl and this advice applys all around. Never settle. Never. Go Bill. Also, reading the slight misogynist (ish!) Comments urm...come in dudes, not all women are assholes. But then again I've been called a feminazi so what do I know lolz

[@KRAPYBARA84]

Wowza! Uh sorry honey ...im just gonna go Make that sandwich for you. #ruhroh

[@zeldagoblin]

+WARBORN EXPERIENCE "Why is everything with women a collective response?" You're kinda thinking of us as a collective right there, dude. Every single shit thing a woman can do, a man can do, and yet people, guys AND girls can't seem to help yelling, "Typical selfish guy/girl!" Human beings are fucking horrible, on the whole. Good people are rare, of either gender.

[@xrays7065]

+Alison DiLaurentis Hate is a strong word. Gotta love sluts, its just the gold digging whores that give women a bad name.

[@warbornexperience9796]

zeldagoblin What are you talking about? My response is stating women are a collective. I ask why is when you criticize one woman, it becomes a criticism of all women?

[@adriansalsahot7367]

+Xavier Ramirez yeee

[@UnderseaCaveman]

you got instinct....you can't teach that

[@jeffmiller3499]

She's gonna turn her fuckin cap on backwards

[@RDX1981]

just great this guy , who needs a Psychologist , when you got "the great" bill burr

[@chagoriver7159]

this is phd level advice.

[@ihussain1011]

lol

[@madafaka_madafaka]

Bill.is fakin smart

[@jc.1191]

Being calm with someone your angry at isn't healthy. I'd let her have it, and she'd listen while I told her what was seen and dump her. Or she'd walk out and I'd never contact her. Either way, on my terms and I put my anger where it belonged.

[@privateprivate2268]

👍

[@999predators]

Like De Niro in Heat

[@tobymcgroby8967]

This social media shit has given people a way to flirt & get attention from other people while in a relationship, which has been eroding relationships since social media started. This sucks!

[@NeverButNothing]

He doesn’t have to tell her all that. Because he’s going to make himself look bad if he says he creeped onto her fb page. Then she’ll turn that right back at him like he’s the piece of shit. Just tell her you need time apart and need to focus on yourself and you’re not sure if you’re ready to make any commitment. Walk away, move forward.

[@956crazyman19]

@TherealDevonte no not really

[@TherealDevonte]

People don't use Facebook that often anymore. Twitter & Instagram have taken over.

[@phillytheflyerable]

DONE! walk away.

[@danielbrown1724]

How much do you want to bet this sucker is still with this chick? I bet you anything she convinced him to stay. As soon as she finds something better, she’s out the door. I still miss your face “DONE!!!! WALK AWAY......DONE!!”

[@howard0howard0]

FUCK ALL OF THAT~

[@thelilembryo]

we know man you better have left her.

[@Dustincooley39]

he always says some hardcore shit then laughs and says he's just kidding about being a psycho and its just sort of an act. I hope not because I fucking agree with 99% of what he has to say.

[@JohnnyRipper70]

Bill Burr, Keeping it fucking real.

[@patrickmassey418]

pull the shoot. no details.

[@clappic]

I disagree dont confront her and leave , or stay physically and leave emotionally until you get rid of her . Hustle other girls while livin the emotinal detachment let her leave when she wants or do it when you want ok ? My two cents Thank you for reading