SELFIE MAN - A Horror Movie So Bad It Hurts

[@barbarahamilton9090]

“She has an infection.” “What kind of infection?” “Yes.”

[@_V.Va_]

"Dear God..."

[@alinavaysfligel7249]

LOL also, how's she supposed to take the antibiotics if she's in a coma? surely a hospital would be a more appropriate response in this situation.. FURTHERMORE, people in comas still need to be fed and hydrated and pee and poop, sooo....whatchu doing about that hannah? where's her catheter? where's her feeding tube/TPN? where's her fluids? drives me fecking crazy

[@TR-qf2gt]

there wasn't even a blood test conducted!!! how could he be sure it was only an infection?? god this movie

[@DrCandyStriper]

@@alinavaysfligel7249 I didn't realize she was in a proper coma. I thought she was just really poorly. Like bring soup and water and help to the toilet but still conscious save lots of sleep

[@khosrow]

@@alinavaysfligel7249 This was clearly written by a 13 year old.

[@Josh-sx1el]

Fear Eater sounds like a 7 year old would name himself on club pengiun

[@ThomasinaJefferson-ke7xs]

Joshua Devanney sounds like the Dollar Tree version of a Death Eater.

[@BebopBun]

It's a worse version of weed eater

[@RebelKitty19]

Nerve Cruncher

[@mistasfavouritememory2966]

Digitally Dude lmfaoooo

[@marisastoletheprecioussara118]

Club Ping Pang is gay

[@demonalivefornow9680]

I think the absolute stupidest thing in all of this is that her darkest desire is "steal makeup." I can't even...get past that.

[@BaeCat872]

Hey man depends what kind of makeup she likes, my primer is like 70$- never seeing that shit ever again

[@papayadoodlez9994]

Lol

[@alessandrajackson3768]

Demon Alive for now ikr 😂

[@tommyhayes511]

Come again?

[@Xenomnipotent]

There is not a single person who would not go to prison for life for having their darkest desire come true

[@DeadEndScreamer]

Remember when a horror film villain's names weren't literal, if Candyman was invented today he'd be running around killing people with candy bars.

[@killerzombie2171]

Nah he be The human beehive or something

[@somerandom12yearoldinhismu76]

@@killerzombie2171 you missed the point

[@whymustyoulookhere7112]

Congrats! you predicted the next "big" horror movie!1111!!!!11!!1

[@starkillersneed]

Leatherface just has a fucking leather jacket for a face

[@starkillersneed]

Bye Bye Man is literally just Justin Timberlake

[@MichellaneousMe]

Selfie man sounds like Slender mans annoying relative that nobody wants to deal with when thanksgiving comes around

[@orlandoalessandrini2505]

The creepy cousin?

[@JADESUKI-i3b]

Pretty ssure somebody just saw that one really old Smosh video and thought 'Why don't we make a whole movie out of that?'

[@imwatchin8807]

And none of them are actually scary

[@Meepersthecat]

the Bye bye man is the gay cousin

[@AmaryInkawult]

@@Meepersthecat no, you're thinking of Splenderman

[@tehmememan8621]

Selfie man sounds like if slender man was trying to be hip with the kids but was 5 years late

[@IbadGrammarX]

or bye bye man

[@makotoplush9776]

Slender Man doing boomer humor

[@corporalbifi589]

its boomer slender man

[@megasauce9388]

R/Fellowkids

[@DimoB8]

So...basically the Slender movie

[@dri2m]

that julia girl looks 14 and 40 at the same time

[@JODRecaps]

hello dri. btw diesel patches is daddy

[@noyes8882]

Lorryn SilverSpike His channel is dead so he posts videos of commenting random words

[@swandivemedia9249]

@@JODRecaps reported

[@capralmarines4043]

@Lorryn SilverSpike He's just spamming other ppl's comment section. Ignore him.

[@lili_peachy7315]

@@JODRecaps shut the fuck up

[@artemisguides]

“If you take 13 selfies, you die” Rip to everyone who uses burst mode to take photos

[@Nomit00NN]

that is amazingly possible, depends on how long the burst is

[@-The_Jester-]

Yo I took 13 selfies I'm not dead let's go

[@Iドーナツ]

Bro- I literally saw this comment when that part came...

[@theenclave5332]

RIP 🪦

[@andysalter7192]

BREAKING NEWS !... Every social media influencer was found dead today , police suspect Narcissistic personality disorder to be the main suspect.

[@Nnyandmmy]

The only time “it’s cause you be on that damn phone” is valid

[@shishi1103]

lmao I love you

[@wildcatkhaya5675]

Hey, do you post anime pictures on insta? because i follow someone that goes by the same name

[@Nnyandmmy]

Waver nah I don’t have an insta but they sound cool if you’ve remembered them ❤️❤️

[@wildcatkhaya5675]

@@Nnyandmmy Well you're pretty cool yourself! ;) Thanks for clearing that up for me.

[@Nnyandmmy]

Waver no problem have a great day/night!

[@donny30dirty]

Julia is literally in coma Doctor: She has an infection

[@Koricica]

Not sure if it was just because of writing off Julia early on, a jab at modern doctors that became over-reliant on experimental prescriptions/drugs more than the actual profession they supposed to be practicing, or just plain bad writing.

[@yoinkers7266]

@@Koricica alright calm down buddy it was just supposed to be a joke

[@umwho5789]

@@Koricica woah there buddy ✋

[@kudasaioni1029]

Koricica whoah there buddy🤚🏾

[@asingleclap3452]

@Yoinkers yeah I think Koricica knows that, based off of her response to the comment.

[@poweroffriendship2.0]

*_Legend has it, Pee Pee Poo Poo Man is one of the best horror movies in this decade that everyone has to offer._*

[@JODRecaps]

hi friendship. btw diesel patches

[@chairman3427]

@@JODRecaps Diesel Patches what?

[@nickyblue4866]

@@chairman3427 this guy streams for 10hours str8 making comments on every video of one of his weird sayings for "fun." Btw he didnt ever use my suggestion:(

[@nickyblue4866]

@@JODRecaps petroleum gum

[@chairman3427]

@@nickyblue4866 Ok

[@d3viltube6]

Doc: "your friend has a very bad infection" Me: "what kind of infection?" Doc: "a spooky one"

[@liahamilton8931]

The worst kind of infection 😱

[@truemom4120]

a spooooooooky one

[@Nuskybeach]

If someone was killing me and told me "remember my name... FEAR EATER" I'd burst out laughing and probably get killed faster

[@trashboat2687]

No you wouldn’t if they were killing you you’d be near death

[@Roman-fo7to]

@@trashboat2687 its a joke buddy

[@trashboat2687]

Alpha Male69 I know lol. Just trolling buddy

[@ashton6946]

@@trashboat2687 i bet you are

[@trashboat2687]

Ashtõn I know I am, why tf would I make a smart ass comment? When I knew wtf this person meant. Another way I could troll would be saying Jesus was not real and God wasn’t either. But I know they did. Atheists would disagree though.

[@michaelauberry1564]

“Selfie man” sounds like a horror movie you’d see in the simpsons or drake & Josh

[@ArturGlass.C]

I read "it sounds like a romance movie" and I was very intrigued. Now I can see Hallmark doing a holiday themed romance movie called "The Selfie Man"

[@naivenitara]

Accurate

[@kingmuizz708]

😂😂😂

[@squarebodyjesus6138]

The sequel: "THE SLOWFY MAN"

[@mr.eatyouup3398]

Funny Dank you just gave me chills

[@symbiotesoda1148]

“Her organs... they’re failing.” No shit. You haven’t fed her food or water for THREE DAYS.

[@goonerOZZ]

Also she never gave her the medicine the doctor gave.

[@Wheebzee]

thee

[@maliciouskevin]

im pretty sure someone can survive without food for 3 days

[@lizzyrank5405]

@@maliciouskevin I mean she was still alive. But either way that's so bad that it took her 3 days to get her cousin to the hospital. Especially since she laid in bed without food and water. At least the hospital would have given her a I've drip.

[@AC-hj9tv]

You wouldn't go onto multi organ failure from that. Smh everyone a doctor

[@crowMilatonin]

“Her organs, they’re failing” is genuinely the funniest delivery I’ve ever heard

[@majorghoul9017]

Oh no!.. Her organs!.... They're failing!

[@manhathaway]

In so glad I read this first bc it sounded exactly like I thought it would

[@DiamondThing]

My blind ass thought that said FALLING This is why I wear glasses

[@Pirateking536]

She was attacked while recording herself hmmm? Sounds like we're in for a sequel, Vloggerman!

[@TheRealNeoThe]

*Vlog from hell

[@giovannialoisio4523]

Jake Paul time

[@nogodcansaveyou]

Oh shit. A sequel.

[@charityscraftanddesigns4327]

Vloggerguy*

[@ravencg7709]

Darklink536 they kill people when they take selfies

[@cherrypie7ilms]

When Hanna touches Julia's face and her hand gets bloody, they could make an alright movie where someone goes insane thinking someone is alive but they're actually dead. I think that would be better then this movie in so many ways.

[@christophermoore6110]

Cherry Pie it’s all about execution, I think this movie could have been good

[@andras3665]

There’s a short Stephen king novel about this, and it was pretty good. I don’t remember the title, but it begins as the story of a man whose wife is ill (she has a bad cold or something), he goes out with his dog, buys things etc. Than he goes back into his flat and a man that lives near to him talks about how he hasn’t seen the main character’s wife in a long time then complains about a terrible smell in the flats, like some animals has died there. So in the endings it’s clear that the wife is dead and the main character is hiding the corpse in her room, and he convinced himself the she is just asleep and ill.

[@megumiseyelashes6706]

I remember reading a creepypasta quite similar. It was called "my wife thinks she's a mermaid"

[@Username-1289]

Cherry Pie *than

[@mushtobecontinued]

I wrote a book on a man seeing things because he was in a car crash and seeing things because he didn't remember he was a drug dealer and just tries the drugs. Then he killed himself. Butttt then I just gave up.

[@trufflegoat]

"sometimes he kills you in hours, other times days. but all i know is that he will kill you IMMEDIATLY." -- Fe4rE4t3r 2018

[@wyn9693]

I think it's about how once you watch the video you're fucked but if you take 13 selfies afterwards you die immediately

[@lin7079]

i read that as feeteater 💀💀💀

[@ralvolvi7668]

rxbnbk vdka same

[@trufflegoat]

Everyone who liked this should subscribe to meeeeeee

[@tuftymonkey1077]

666 likes lol

[@addicted2mako]

Could’ve been worse: instead of “Selfie from Hell”, they could’ve gone with...Hellfie!

[@ZimothydaAlien]

Yeah...missed opportunity

[@technne-gu1yu]

I'ma name my kid that

[@-OneofManyNames]

That's a better title than the one they chose for the movie.

[@JonCom3dy]

Omg 😆

[@sewochoi]

imagine that would be amazing

[@bananasplitlady3045]

Let's just appreciate the incredible writing of the "Julia's dead" articles. "She bled to death in cold blood" "Explanation is literally impossible"

[@Username-1289]

Banana Split Lady “She was born at an exceptionally young age.”

[@thecrazedpotatoman]

@@Username-1289 "she turned 16 on the 16th year of her life."

[@chrisbtw6896]

"one minute in Africa is 60 seconds"

[@davidashton3671]

@@thecrazedpotatoman Hmm.. Yes, the floor here is made out of floor.

[@worlds_worst_tf2_player]

''She moves her feet to walk''

[@user-vk3uz3ml6t]

Unironically, the cinematographer did an ok job

[@insaniicandee8836]

Hey at least they got paid

[@ILoveHuskies1]

Yeah first thing I noticed. It looks pretty good visually.

[@lumpychips0769]

Yeah you know if the writers weren't drunk it could have been an good film 😂

[@nksdfsdbfkjbsajdfsdfugsakd99]

@@lumpychips0769 You theses types of movies are redeemable IF they had a good lore, CGI and photos. Now you take all the good horror movies, poorly glue them all togheter and throw in something that _was_ trending and make it into a movie. If you ever expect to become the new "Avengers: Endgame", (i chose that movie because of the money it got, not because of it's quality) so i'm sad to break your optisism.

[@highadmiraljt5853]

He tries his best Like the smart kid in a group protect where nobody else did anything

[@LiamBlanshan]

This is something my sister would make on iMovie when she was 7

[@M0therrrr]

I’m dead lmfaooooq😭🤣

[@georgiana1147]

)))

[@surejan.8472]

lol!! and it sounds like it was written by a 7 y/o... somebody should tell the person who wrote the script that a confusing and nonsensical plot does not equal dEeP and CoMpLeX

[@SFET171]

nah your sis probably made movies 10x better than this using MsPaint (I get that MsPaint is a painting software but its comparing how bad it is)

[@Perchance24]

Wow I can't believe you would insult your sister like this smh

[@fernandoantoniomusic8712]

I love how Julia is supposed to be like a bubbly 20-something year old, but the actress they got appears like she’s in her late 30s early 40s.

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

I tried to find out how old she is but instead I found that she started off in German movies. So I got nothing

[@GachaTheGraceful]

@@sydneyslaughter7163 shes 34

[@calamazomcdonald3688]

@@GachaTheGraceful Shes not even that attractive too

[@enotsnavdier6867]

@@calamazomcdonald3688 That's completely unrelated to the fact that she's 34

[@calamazomcdonald3688]

@@enotsnavdier6867 true, my bad dude

[@Haastuur]

The best actor in this film is the bed

[@seducedintokyo]

agreed

[@doctordeath2551]

Sad how a bed can actually carry an actress the whole movie. And have more screen time than a main character

[@lily_rose54]

Personally, I thought the floor was also great

[@tmtannjr]

I donno the doctor was pretty convincing

[@FeralMisfit]

You guys are seriously overlooking the doors and windows.

[@SpockLover27]

This would have been a lot more interesting if the 'selfie man' was just made up and it was actually a group of people orchestrating things. The doctor could have been one of them, and the 'antibiotics' could have been a drug to keep her under and less aware. Just the concept of a group of people targeting them because one of the cousins went on the dark web is far more interesting. She could have seen something she shouldn't have beyond the stupid 'selfie from hell'. Trevor could have also been in on it for an extra bit of fun at the end, with her thinking she's being rescued but he just takes over. It could be based around the red room concept and at the end the video could be of her being tortured. But really anything is better than what they actually did.

[@btaylerpackard2475]

Yo I'd watch the movie you just laid out vs this crapfest

[@SpockLover27]

@@btaylerpackard2475 Aw thanks~ Though to be fair almost anything is better than this trash.

[@SpockLover27]

@UnderWayy _ Why thank you kind person, writing horror happens to be my passion~

[@cedricfratus-nolen6520]

Theres a movie like that but I can't remember the name

[@cedricfratus-nolen6520]

It's called smiley

[@LeeAllanSpades]

Julia's tear went sideways... BECAUSE SHE WAS DEAD AND BURIED THE WHOLE TIME. WOW.

[@ThatOneJoJoDude]

@@1lillbluepikmin what-

[@katherinesmallbean3594]

Joe McBallz he’s saying that he thinks that detail is cool, but still thinks the movie as a whole is trash.

[@nou6206]

@@1lillbluepikmin lol your name

[@lilbeanbun]

oh lord

[@harpy5677]

That’s a cool detail

[@uhu7813]

I love the "well she's unconscious and unresponsive, your typical infection". Cool, doc. Shouldn't we take her to an hospital or something? "Nah, just some antibiotics". Nice, everybody knows the most common sign of an infection is falling into a bloody coma.

[@kingagrabowska9366]

And how is she supposed to give her ''some antibiotics'' if she's unconscious?! Maybe through syringes but I don't think doctors just let even family members do that. He didn't even ask! I guess it was just too boring to the filmmaker.

[@confederacyofindependentsy110]

Selfie Man sounds like Slenderman if he was ruined by Tik Tok.

[@otusboi3910]

and then music comes on then some 10 year old girls says THATS FROM TIK TOK

[@artmy3045]

Ouch, poor slenderman

[@DrPester847]

If he wasn't ruined enough by sony

[@lylathepiratefox]

Justin Case Oh dear god yes

[@jacquesblanco1792]

Tru

[@DeadlyDanDaMan]

This is like a creepypasta written by a 12 year old.

[@shammrock_sniper3172]

Im 13.....i could make something better than this

[@deadaccount8054]

So, a creepypasta.

[@seducedintokyo]

as a 12 year old, I'm offended

[@alxxa1111]

nah most likely a boomer

[@segadreams8952]

cj.rod.g3n nobody cares

[@unamandlaxulu5840]

This movie's biggest sin is having Julia become a big KZbin star while making 44 second videos after 2012

[@xbigbooshx4643]

UnamandlaS Xulu: Maybe she’s an ex-Viner...or maybe this movie went full Boomer.

[@Jessafur]

You're throwing some mad shade at my boy Berd

[@simmecat4150]

let me tell you about Gus Johnson

[@cosmic_rain9417]

They had 45 dollars to make this movie. They didnt have the budget to make longer videos

[@caleblewis8169]

Lel

[@CheeseYourself]

I appreciate that Hannah is so shallow that her deepest, darkest desire is to steal makeup

[@SolarisKane]

I laughed at that. Bitch you serious?

[@majorghoul9017]

Queen honestly for being so pure

[@ursidae97]

Imagine her being at your house and your makeup goes missing

[@HopePapernacky]

Wasn't she lying to the gatekeeper?

[@wizardkumaanimations9984]

​@@HopePapernacky She was so reckless with giving her information which would lead me to believe that she wasn't lying to that gatekeeper

[@lily_littleangel]

"...and apparently, Julia entered a black room by accident" URL literally contains the words "black room" *by accident*

[@jeltje50]

Well by accident means that she didn't know what it was. So she unintentionally enter one. Like clicking on all kind of links to just fucking do something.

[@nksdfsdbfkjbsajdfsdfugsakd99]

"Whoops! I submitted myself to torture because i'm a braindead and cannot research what is in the Dark Net."

[@lily_littleangel]

@@jeltje50 That's kinda lame actually, because... 1. How would you access the dark web if you don't even know what it is? It's not likely to stumble upon it on accident. 2. If you have a vague idea I feel like you should know to _stay away._

[@chaoz7370]

@@lily_littleangel Her entire channel is about going to or researching the Dark Web, so she knew that it was related to the Dark Web. She was stupid enough to try and traverse the Dark Web, but if your trying to enter something that's literally called a "Black Room" that's associated with the dark web without thinking something horrible is gonna happen, then you sorta deserve what's about to happen.

[@overhitss]

The owners of the black room must like onions

[@pstra2616]

6:14 “You have 1 new video message” *Clicks play* _Is a VOICE meessage_

[@donny30dirty]

Genesis 6:14 Noah get the boat!!

[@iamgod4174]

@Thicc Fork nice JoJo reference

[@mousumideka8758]

@@iamgod4174 what

[@minmoplaysgames]

TikTok Man is scarier, though, change my mind.

[@megazoid6573]

Oh no

[@minmoplaysgames]

cyberYoshi 660X, oh yeah

[@JODRecaps]

hello momo. btw diesel patches is daddy

[@Brother-Martell]

JODisHere I literally just watched you type this on stream and happened to end up on this video

[@poweroffriendship2.0]

Oh no. Maybe Emoji Man is the horror we deserve.

[@ManoftheHour1987]

Next movie: The Gif Girl, with the entire entourage of victims fighting o how her title is pronounced. Is it Jif? Is it Gif? And the final victim enrages the murderer even more by pronouncing it "yiff"

[@driftingmikecrew]

SOMEONE HIRE THIS MAN

[@Stoopid420]

I love this so much

[@TPNsBiggestFan]

ITS GIF😤

[@Stoopid420]

@Marav Reviews nah my guy it's hiff

[@epicdeadalus4345]

It name Jeff

[@cyyy07]

Imagine if when Hannah clicked on the link she was sent, she literally just got Rick Rolled. That would be the plot twist we needed.

[@MorkedUP1]

Yes

[@H.U.R.]

Yes (2)

[@chickennuggetchuck198]

yes (3)

[@uglyferalcat149]

I just wanted to say I love your name

[@cyyy07]

@@uglyferalcat149 why thank you fellow danganronpa trash nerd

[@vogonp4287]

I have noticed that all bad horror movies have similar elements. 1. Too many jumpscares 2. Plots involving strange leaps in the plot. 3. Bad logic 4. Strange usage of black and white footage Also, Fear Eater looks like a discount Voldemort.

[@joni1405]

5. At some point mentions the dark web

[@lilbeanziyt7753]

They last part had me dieinggggg

[@idrinkpicklejuice1590]

7. Thirsty men

[@idrinkpicklejuice1590]

7. Thirsty men

[@elroleplayermediocre4902]

8. Supernatural shit entities or, a cult who wears red or black and does sacrifices bc yes 9. For most recent movies (and a few old ones) uses a normal concept like this movie: the selfies, and tries to make it [S P O O K Y]

[@medueleaca]

"If you take 13 selfies, you die". Consecutive or 13 in total? If you take 12 selfies and a photo of your dog, does the curse reset?

[@dr.bright6272]

Does a dick pic count as a selfie? The lines are very blurred

[@eliwoodnguyen1505]

The curse will curse itself🤣😂🤣😂

[@Mike14264]

Reminds me when Smosh made the video about that creepy moon guy, where they had to send the moon emoji 3 times. They wondered if they had to be in the same message, 3 separate messages, if they had to be consecutive, etc.

[@alexisventura7191]

Exactly! It's pretty easy to take just 3 or 4 selfies at a time, instead of 12 in your entire life? Also, if I put a camera in a tripod and use it to take a photo of me, is that still a selfie?

[@Turiargov]

@@alexisventura7191 I think that's what we used to call a "self portrait" before the dawn of the second dark age.

[@LiftUpYourEyes]

Doctor: she has an infection Hannah: okay, where is it? Doctor: Oh, wait.. she's dead.. I think, I'm not even a doctor.

[@bruuuuuuuuhhhh]

I want to like so bad... But I don't want to ruin the funny number

[@anthonynixon3706]

@@bruuuuuuuuhhhh it’s already ruined

[@janix705]

"She sleeps for 3 days. Then she wakes up suddenly! ....then goes back to sleep." Same, Julia. Same.

[@poopsoup547]

Just like Jesus lol

[@sirtalkalotdoolittle]

She's not worried about personal safety online because she has NordVPN.

[@georgiana1147]

exactly😀

[@jessreinhardt4408]

But not even Nordvpn could protect her from selfie man.

[@matthewbowen5841]

It was SurfShark

[@f.c.laukhard3623]

@@jessreinhardt4408 It does if Selfie Man is searching for her in Togo. :D

[@yarddawgking5148]

Heck yeah 😂

[@daire1012]

The scariest part of this was Hannah's inability to use the Internet

[@rcarfang2]

Trevor should have told her Not to mess with the dark web.

[@rodneyhollis1858]

:❰҈▒҈░҈҈❙⃢▓❙⃢⚠⃢❙▓⃢❙░҈҈҈҈▒҈❱============> Ray's lightsaber

[@josh10722]

@@rodneyhollis1858

[@MrFuller876]

@@rodneyhollis1858 qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm.

[@ThawBerry]

I burst out laughing at this 💀

[@jupiterzombies]

this is like if someone made a movie out of a bad creepypasta, taking every sentence literally

[@fahrenheit2101]

No wonder Julia woke up pissed at Hannah and pulling a creepy face. Hannah legit abandoned her. Not to mention she forgot the pills.

[@radioactivian]

I'd be pissed too

[@ihaveanunoriginalprofilepi1744]

daddy pig (from peppa pig) is 14’2, and has been shown to be able to throw fully grown adults to the ceiling of his frontroom and TEAR DOWN ENTIRE WALLS of his house, and he is a qualified engineer and can easily lockpick your door, he could easily kill you by sitting on you, and could break into your house with ease. you know your horror movie is bad when DADDY PIG is scarier and stronger than your villain

[@maddiepaddy2608]

You fucking fool. Clifford is 25 feet

[@ihaveanunoriginalprofilepi1744]

“the bigger they stand, the harder they fall” -daddy pig

[@magicpigeon5578]

To be fair daddy pig is really powerful

[@MelodiesFromTheStars]

Daddy pig vs Clifford Jojo Style when

[@AS_SO]

SCP-2004: PigMan

[@j3llifhish]

This sounds like that one Goosebumps book called: Say Cheese and die! It basically is about a couple of kids that find an old camera and take pictures of people, but they die or disappear into the photo lol

[@nemopraatskonen8696]

But its actually good book and the story is really creepy

[@simonesingleton1836]

Crypt Tv on KZbin also made a short film/video with a similar plot, InstaWolf, it's silly but in a good way.

[@flufflewarrior]

That sounds much creepier and far more interesting then this "movie"

[@essie23la]

ohh that reminds me of a stephen king book (forgot the title) where this teen gets a polaroid camera for his birthday but every picture you take is of an aggressive dog-beast that gets closer and more ready to attack with every pic you take

[@loganwilliams9104]

@@essie23la I need the book name

[@FrauleinMoon]

The movie to me, is basically about a narsassistic, angry monster that photobombs everyone's pictures.

[@rimurutempest6170]

If you take 13 selfies you'll die Takes 14 selfies Selfie man: it's not how it works

[@SugarooLM]

Thanks, now I know how to say"hi!" To Satan

[@AA-kb6vx]

tHata iLLeGaL

[@IBagel2]

jokes on you I've never taken a selfie because I'm not a basic bitch

[@QuinnVoltsFortnite]

Do you know Skeppy or something?

[@centurion0-199]

tempest rimuru Good thing I took 12 selfies

[@heidimagkekse829]

Julia probably woke up because she wanted her antibiotics that hanna forgot all this time

[@moistisverydead9191]

Heidi mag Kekse Hannah: Calls Julia’s bf Julia: GIVE ME MY FUCKING PILLS DAMIT AND I WILL LOOK CREEPY NOW GUVE WRWDVCJSHE

[@joh_frm_garfield594]

Medic!!!

[@stacie7766]

Damn anti-vaxers... 🤣🤣🤣

[@tshupetsomonedi]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@heidimagkekse829]

@Clyde Eastwood ja safe 11/10

[@paigemcnamara7117]

This could MAYBE be salvaged if the twist at the end was that Hannah, Trevor, and Julia were all already dead and they were being tortured in hell for their sins. Or they were all on really nasty drugs. Anything that could negate the last 75 minutes, really.

[@thisisahumanlol8255]

69 likes NOICE

[@birdofprey3952]

269

[@thisisahumanlol8255]

@@birdofprey3952 Noice

[@cloud_bread3032]

Or in more simple terms the only thing that could salvage this movie would be scrapping the whole plot

[@Zeal-sf3tj]

@@thisisahumanlol8255 619

[@AstraVex]

21:00 This actor...I admire this actor. It takes a certain level of professionalism to say that line without turning into a laughing hysterical corpsing mess. 🤣

[@wizzem7890]

Slender man: I'm going out to make a movie mom! Selfie man: Can I come with you? Slender man: Of course not! Slender mom: bring your brother! Slender man: Oh god...

[@chickenwingsaredelicous7914]

Oh God, I just imagined it 😂😂

[@LadyOfTheEdits]

😂

[@sheepbow909]

In the film stage Selfie man What movie should we make Oh oh oh what about me Slander Wait what Selfie YASSSS Slender Well F

[@fieryinferno8573]

Slender man: so just stay out out and be my side kick that is useless... Flimers: oh i just realized this your brother can make the perfect movie Slender man: WHAT BUT THIS IS MY MOVIE Flimers: not anymore ur kicked out Slender man: this is your fault

[@exoticdachoo007]

666 likes nice

[@goldenapple1754]

She is dead but still alive Doctor: It’s an infection

[@eimantaskzl.8770]

omg stop its not funny skskskskskksksk save the girturtkes

[@yoinkers7266]

@@eimantaskzl.8770 I also really love girturtkes

[@stefanisaksson8704]

The thing that grabbed Julia when she Recorded herself was... THE RECORD MAN

[@mainalka]

Hehe 😄

[@bonerloaner]

Actually it was the KZbin censors

[@renegaderaines2189]

Dun dun dunnnn

[@UhhUmmmHmmmUhmmm]

THE VIDEO MAN

[@lyndislegion287]

Oh no! Not the Record Man!

[@M_Bamboozled]

"Did she have any symptoms, anything wrong?" "Yes Doctor, she did cry horizontally for a while" "OK, sounds like a bad infection in her inside bits" "Thanks Doc"

[@flickcentergaming680]

Underrated comment

[@taykiraro2318]

If the movie was focused more around the serial killer who took pictures with his victims I would have found it more interesting.

[@925263]

@Mr Krabs has ligma The Ring begs to differ. It can be done right. Most directors just aren't competent enough.

[@SharkCX]

Sounds like a budget version of SCP-1471

[@BaeCat872]

So does Julia not have any family? She’s in organ failure and nobody like, calls her parents? And if she’s dead, how does Hannah not know? WHERE ARE ANYONES PARENTS?! Doesn’t “cousins” kind imply there’s more family outside of these 2 people???

[@farrex0]

All of their parents were taken by the pager man

[@RpgBlasterRpg]

Plot Twist : The boyfriend was actually FEAREATER

[@shishi1103]

@@farrex0 no one is appreciating your joke as much as they should be

[@SunlessPeriwinkle]

Movie logic: say sike rn.

[@fastbreak333]

Aw, man, but hiring more actors costs money! Can’t we just... not let them have parents? I’m too lazy to fix it.

[@xbamfo8199]

It looks like this was a movie made by old people who think that they know how to computer real good.

[@xbigbooshx4643]

xBamfo: Hacker Man 2020.

[@SangriaDracul]

Actually the opposite. Older people would know how to write a better story considering horror movies have been getting worse with each year. This actually looks like it was made by a bunch of kids with no experience.

[@Flipindabird23]

@@SangriaDracul what a broad generalization. Young people bad, but old people good. Jordan Peele is pretty young. Dropped an award winning movie his first time around. Anyone can make a bad movie. Especially old, complacent, and formulaic directors.

[@shadowstep1375]

@@SangriaDracul we've had some decent horror movies recently. Split, get out, bird box, quiet place, my love life. All pretty good horror movies. Also as a note horror does not always equal scary. (i.e Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Hatchet, Halloween, ECT.)

[@SangriaDracul]

@@Flipindabird23 that's not what I said but you can take it anyway you want I guess... By that logic OP said the same thing. Also Jordan Peele isn't a kid and his second movie was really bad imo.

[@Mike14264]

Starcasm, just for that name and for the way they describe themselves, deserve to see the Selfie Man for the rest of their lives.

[@shiboo2k951]

Next predicted movie "The TikTok Man"

[@juniper6069]

It gets behind you and kills you while doing the renegade dance

[@mahogakko]

Juniper I hate you, therefore I’m gonna like your comment

[@brodyatkinson1960]

Juniper nah he actually just gives you cancer

[@sinw88]

No tik toks pretty new Has to be something like vine man We get tik tok man in like 4 years

[@coolerreviews6580]

Nah tik tok man would do

[@uchihaedgelord5589]

Man, I can't wait for most ambitious crossover in horror cinema history: The Bye Bye Man Vs The Selfie Man.

[@jerriustate9638]

With a surprise cameo from Candyman

[@AgarthianTrapstar]

The Bye Bye Selfie

[@chummyweevil3948]

@@AgarthianTrapstar 😮

[@captainshadowfox]

What about the Boogeyman

[@thedoomtrainer8292]

If the URL led to a rickroll, that would honestly be the funniest thing ever.

[@Blobfoot]

Haha

[@rottencandy2675]

Rick would never give up his prey.

[@justinmazyck5097]

No it wouldn't.

[@thelegionofpotatoes8385]

V8 crlfkj v

[@velkhanaoverlord5854]

Plus with malware that is made for the sole purpose of opening rick roll tabs at random

[@c0rn322]

"What's your darkest desire?" "Steal makeup"

[@somedummyonyoutube3362]

"wrong answer"

[@TheAutisticNinja08]

That a dumb desire

[@TheBlackBrickStudios]

Julia’s actress is what it looks like when you turn facial animations up to 500% in real life.

[@ThomasinaJefferson-ke7xs]

TheBlackBrickStudios she looks like that trick picture where one way it’s a young woman, then you flip it upside down and it’s an old hag.

[@lakalq11km]

Hey let's not shit on the actress just because we don't like the movie. Struggling actors can't complain about the roles they get, it's not her fault the movie is shit.

[@homestuck_official]

I thought that was Truth Or Dare?

[@poiuytrewq11422]

@@lakalq11km I mean it's true though. She looks like a real life Mister potato head.

[@ginak5802]

@@poiuytrewq11422 ikr. She looks like an old lady and a 12 year old at the same time depending on how you look at her and the lighting...

[@BendySnowball]

I swear, every "deep web horror" movie is so badly done. Like, did they do any research before _making_ the movie? The only horror on the real life deep web is how bad the HTML is done on these sites.

[@williamhuynh869]

I fear no one. But that thing *horrific HTML It scares me

[@highadmiraljt5853]

Atoraste this one included tor.... And that’s all

[@dracovoid2001]

Deep web is stuff that requires password dark web were the actual illegal stuff

[@mariuszpudzianowski1743]

@Mrs Tailz nah, it's just buying drugs and conspiracy theories

[@jabby6709]

Ikr. I bet I could make better looking websites, and I’ve only been learning HTML and CSS for a year

[@lordlammi1562]

If I ever encountered someone with the username "FearEater", I'd just assume they were an eleven year old edgelord.

[@SchrollShepard]

And you'd be 100% accurate in that assumption.

[@RugBug18]

Don't you mean F34R3473R?

[@michal252]

*yOu jUsT dOn'T gEt mY dArKnEsS*

[@cameronb7161]

Kinda sounds like a ridiculously oversized sword you'd get in a JRPG.

[@xbigbooshx4643]

Jude Lammirato: XxXFearEateeXxX Like a 2009 Xbox 360 gamer tag in Call of Duty with a potato Kinect mic that echos like crazy.

[@purplehaze2358]

“Like a female Shane Dawson” Hopefully without the kiddy diddling.

[@babyrose7830]

hahaha ur so funny 😐

[@mikeoxlong1395]

Or kitty diddling.

[@bumbabees]

@@mikeoxlong1395 stop fhjesgk 😭

[@j4xon855]

@@babyrose7830 why r u so pressed

[@bruceleroywayne]

@@babyrose7830 you like to defend kiddy diddlers?…weird

[@flip4flippyfan]

so Julia goes on the dark web, meets a guy named "fear eater", meets irl, and she comes back with an infection? sounds like a bad tinder date

[@NerdestGamaer]

the movie is actually about the real horrors of untreated syphilis

[@DrCandyStriper]

@@NerdestGamaer remember kids: have your blood tested regularly and seek treatment at once. I mean it's at least better than my health class in high school

[@alinavaysfligel7249]

NerestGamaer yessss! stages 3-4 of untreated syphilis are scarier than any selfie man could ever be.

[@NerdestGamaer]

@@alinavaysfligel7249 Yeah cause syphilis is actually mainly attacking the nervous system rather than the skin or hormonal glands, you just don't get severe neurological symptoms until later on.

[@kerrycooper707]

Like a STD

[@swisscheese6664]

There is always a computer geek in every horror movies

[@joh_frm_garfield594]

Especially when they have the green scrolling code

[@alix6xgorg839]

Computer geeks: "Chuckles, i am in danger"

[@tehanperera4]

Am I the only one who thought she died just because Hannah forgot to give her the pills?

[@legostarwarsindianajones3071]

No

[@tehanperera4]

@@legostarwarsindianajones3071 Yeah I thought so :)

[@bbgamingplay1511]

You are not alone friend!!

[@tehanperera4]

@We Have To Go Back lmao

[@aztekkat7337]

Your not the only one

[@JonahTV]

TBH, in a better movie with better set-up/explanation, that tear falling horizontally thing is actually a pretty cool and unique idea for a scare.

[@Symora]

I like that one part where the girl was watching KZbin and when she presses rewind it made a casette tape noise. epic Boomer productions

[@CrazyPangolinLady]

I like how the video apparently has crt lines too

[@cartooncritique6625]

It's always funny when Boomers try to make horror movies about how the internet is "so scary". XD

[@hanjisung5329]

phone bad book good wife dumb trump yay

[@xbigbooshx4643]

Cartoon Critique: Oh no! Not the deep web at 3:00 a.m. Jaystation told us it’s scary! 😱

[@bruhmieter5688]

@@hanjisung5329 phone good book bad good wife son hillary yay

[@bagair1]

The truly scary thing is the fact that Julia's KZbin video is only 44 seconds long, yet it's part 1 in a series...

[@amelienorbury7392]

The horror

[@davidthecommenter]

this comment has aged like milk

[@galatea742]

Well, welcome to KZbin shorts I guess.

[@monimoo88]

So it’s TikTok

[@mediaphantom3012]

I guess that this movie was so bad, he didn't want to show his face in the review.

[@The_Sandwich1984]

he didn't want to associate his face with this masterpiece

[@stn6408]

anal beaaads

[@seen9252]

he was crying too much during this recording. It may not sound like it, but his silent tears shall not be heard.

[@ThomasinaJefferson-ke7xs]

Olivia Bartelt Dude wtf is the story with that??? Edit - nm ... I kept reading. Now I’m just going through all the comments reporting his worthless ass.

[@winxclub6367]

FrozenSneak 12 lol

[@lizzyrank5405]

I'm surprised they didn't get the doctor involved. I was waiting for him to be somone kn the dark net impersonating a physician so that way Hannah would go to the hospital with julie.

[@duzziewuzzie4388]

"Selfie Man" is just one of those boomers that complains about kids taking selfies these days and how the youth is ruining society

[@SirDankleberry]

Oh god I’m selfie man.

[@grey46]

Haha boomer

[@Mikeanglo]

The guy who wrote "Selfie Man" is definitely one of those.

[@DresdenShuffle]

I'm selfie man then. Weird cause I'm a millennial lol

[@sleepdeprivationandregret733]

Ok boomer

[@arminc4658]

She got attacked while filming herself because she was taking 30 selfies a second.

[@marcatehamburgers5835]

g e n i u s

[@bigpots9142]

30 sps

[@Pikachu19972]

selfie man was doing the world a favor... hes the hero of this movie

[@Kaan-Yaprak]

In slo mo mode you can take 360 selfies per second!

[@ish650]

Omg

[@talentless1516]

this sounds like something boomers make to stop kids from taking selfies all the time edit: eat thy cereals

[@moved8575]

cereal cult ayy

[@KatKevaKelise]

So someone in their late 60s or 70s made this retarded movie? Nope, sounds like something the stupid fortnite generation made to be edgy.

[@radicalpineapple5382]

Eat your cereal

[@jeanx-]

eat your cereal

[@kylesul6433]

Eat your cereal

[@Barnesofthenorth]

It sounds like the way to get killed by Selfie man is similar to finding a super hidden easter egg in a Souls game, you need to follow a ton of very specific steps in the right order, and if you're super lucky you might manage it.

[@nocturne6320]

The movie is bad, but they did one this right that 90% of movies do wrong. The things on the computer were actually semi realistic (using .onion, Tor, etc.)

[@vladimirlenin4080]

Yeah. At least it wasn't like: "i'm gonna enter the dark web" and then random green text starts flowing on the screen

[@highadmiraljt5853]

They did one thing right

[@Humr666]

Except the 44 seconds long youtube video. The ads here are longer than that.

[@nocturne6320]

@The Frog King Well yeah, but at least it makes sense a bit, instead of opening 5 command prompts with green text scrolling really fast and bleeping sounds all over the place

[@chuckknight7025]

THIS MOVIE LOOKS GOOD

[@GamblingGator]

Don’t take 13 selfies: *takes selfie with front camera* Demon: listen here you little shit...

[@boizen]

😂😂😂

[@BMarks9709]

Underrated comment🤣

[@wiktoria2516]

lmao 😆

[@laisoma0077]

'Back/rear camera' or do i not get the joke?

[@GamblingGator]

@@laisoma0077 The camera that the faces opposite of the screen

[@JakeCuster]

Pros and Cons to this video Pros: •Another gem by Elvis •I don’t have to watch this terrible movie for myself Cons: •I now know this movie exists

[@s.s5933]

Lmao fr

[@xbigbooshx4643]

Jake Custer: What’s the message of this story? Don’t selfie too much, or Great Value Slender man will kill you?

[@ZaluLP]

Me: Takes 13 Selfies Selfie man: Your free trial of life has expired

[@nathanjohnson3113]

Lol

[@confusedwolfman3575]

Selfie man: Would you like to purchase the premium

[@knopytayyyyyy8506]

@@confusedwolfman3575 lmfao

[@sewochoi]

ohmygod free trial of life LOL

[@sewochoi]

@@confusedwolfman3575 If that line was in the movie i wouldnt by by selfies id die by laughing

[@BeansOnButter]

There are like 3 different stories happening at once: Thing kills you/gives you an infection for taking 13 selfies, whether they be pictures of yourself, recordings or somebody taking pictures of you The hallucinations that happen for no god damn reason And Trevor trying to get laid

[@somerandom12yearoldinhismu76]

Don’t forget ‘the infection’

[@BeansOnButter]

@@somerandom12yearoldinhismu76 Well maybe taking 13 selfies gives you the infection,l I don't know

[@somerandom12yearoldinhismu76]

@@BeansOnButter yeah I know was just adding onto this shit pile

[@lydianeedsalife]

poor trevor 😭

[@vocondus]

Do we need to talk about how it said “Julia’s boyfriend” for the caller ID?

[@budgiemommax2697]

Yes

[@randomguy51090]

No bcuz that's normal lol like if its Julia's boyfriend and they're not friends outside her it makes sense

[@vocondus]

cory mccolligan But... how many people do you know put their and boyfriend/girlfriend beside it? This generation, it’s usually emojis and pet names. Don’t argue she’s different, because they’re talking about taking selfies. They definitely bought in to social trends.

[@randomguy51090]

@@vocondus ik a lot of people who do that I just makes sense if I wasn't formally acquainted with my brothers girlfriend and I had her number it would be named like that

[@vocondus]

cory mccolligan Okay. I see what you mean. To me, I thought that was Julia’s phone that she was using to call Julia’s Boyfriend, because the first time i saw it, it looked like that she had picked Julia’s phone with Julia’s caller ID Falling in Reverse her boyfriend as “Julia’s Boyfriend.

[@davidbeeley127]

Plot twist: Julia's infection was the existence of this movie.

[@miguelsuaza4413]

It was her stand waking up.

[@ivanivan744]

Miguel Angel Suaza Sanchez Like cheap trick but if Araki wanted another Steely Dan

[@scanbbb]

@@ivanivan744 iS tHiS a JoJo ReFeReNcE??? bruh oraoraoraoraoraora mudamudamudamuda 👊👊👊👊😂😂😂😂 jotaro is so cool 😎😎😎😎😎 Kono DIO da wry🤣🤣🤣🤣👀 👄

[@hangyuI]

Leonard M cool

[@ZoZo-fh6tq]

@@scanbbb i want to commit die after seeing this

[@farlonmuentes6004]

i imagine the creators of these kind of movies have a meeting and the opening line is "should we put an effort?"

[@syrianadaich]

We're skipping over the fact that her darkest desire is "steal makeup"???

[@anthonymiller1352]

It is truly the worst thing to do

[@youarentyouwhenurhungry2379]

GIMME THE MAKEUP OLD LADY OR I'LL MESS UP UR PERFECT HAIR!

[@dr.bright6272]

Yes.

[@reganwolf4405]

😆😅

[@josiahharrison9843]

I literally did a spit take when she typed “steal makeup”

[@diykatgamerd9436]

I really like movies like this because it makes me more confident in my abilities as a writer. Like, if this director can make a movie, surely I can.

[@jamiematindi2005]

No gonna lie, this is the absolute truth, like it literally makes you feel like you just need to not do THIS😂😂😂

[@squishylemon2641]

Except they can't make a movie

[@somerandomcassfan7289]

I compared a fanfic I wrote when I was 6 to this. I literally asked people which was written better. 6yo me didn't win. :(

[@oliviadeuchler8230]

kid: *mom, can I have slender man?* mom: *no we have slender man at home* slender man at home:

[@skazzel]

Which one is worse tho

[@BlackCat-tg7th]

@@skazzel Slenderman probably Since if you don't take selfies you're good 🤷‍♀️

[@greetedfox06]

Would rather watched the Sony Slenderman movie than this

[@notlucas6859]

best comment ever

[@frankie334]

I’d rather see the Hunt getting laid scene from Final Destination 3D. On loop till I’m in my grave. :(

[@AREderp]

“She has a very bad infection” “What kind of infection?” “Jk lol she ded she has no infection”

[@scratchy9874]

not taking this movie seriously at all, but nobody should EVER go to deepweb sites on a mobile phone. Mobile phones are super easy to track and hack. Especially phones with specific screen resolutions.

[@dubstepilluminati1823]

Not mines apparently given the fact that I modded mutiple vpn apps together i think it works for the most part

[@traister101]

@@dubstepilluminati1823 OK boomer

[@dubstepilluminati1823]

@@traister101 OK zoomer

[@traister101]

@@dubstepilluminati1823 damn you got me there

[@scratchy9874]

@@dubstepilluminati1823 the problem is not your ip adress. It's your screen resolution. If they can get an idea of the model of your phone, they can work off of that. They use similar methods on pcs, using fullscreen modes on websites to pinpoint your monitor's resolution. Not sure where they go from there, as I'm not an expert, but they can easily track you by knowing simple information like that.

[@amphibiousgirly]

The best part to me, is that when Julia's taking her selfies, looking for the selfie man, she still takes the time to try and smile/pose, even though shes scared?? Like is she trying to make sure her discovery of ghosts picture is Instagram ready?

[@brainman67]

It's for the gram you gotta make it top quality

[@jonifed3676]

Selfie man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land that you understand...

[@budgiemommax2697]

Selfie man, the voyage to the corner of the globe is a real trip...

[@pudding7630]

Selfie man, the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand Soaking up the thirst of the land

[@un7t783]

Pudding what a true poet you are

[@ProfessionalPickler]

"She has an infection" "She's dead" "Infectionly"

[@J0hnzie]

She didn't call the police or anything when she got all those messages and that video of her asleep, with the door and windows open? SHE JUST WENT BACK TO BED?!

[@Anasumi]

Most horror movies don’t make sense at all. But this is also a bad movie overall so, that’s bonus points.

[@danospades]

If Julia was dead the whole time what was the doctor doing. Wouldn’t he know she’s dead or did the ghost simulate a real infection or what. Or did the doctor not get a pulse on ghost Julia and assume it was an.....infection?

[@DieKleineMimose]

Maybe he wasn't real either? 🤔

[@creaturristica7020]

@@DieKleineMimose Maybe none of this is real and it's only Hannah's subconscious mind playing out her fear of what may happen if Julia spends too much time on her phone?

[@diobrando2845]

Creaturristic A That could be a clever premise, but I don’t think the people who made the movie were very clever.

[@AbsoluteNothing56]

When you are so good that you don't know what deaths and infections are: *dOuCTeR*

[@dimitri_tsm]

Maybe he's not a real doctor, prob just wanted to finish his job right away

[@BenBen-bb7bb]

Selfie man: take 13 selfies you’re dead Teenage girls: *safety laws prepare to be ignored*

[@cameronplante4143]

What about 14 selfies???

[@arthurthekyogre9155]

My almost thot mom: "here i go taking 600 selfies again"

[@TheRealDayzohn]

@@arthurthekyogre9155 *BEGONE MOM*

[@arthurthekyogre9155]

Dayzohn CL1 funny thing is that i'm not making this up