Dressing for confidence and joy | Stasia Savasuk | TEDxPortsmouth

If you think style is superficial, then Stasia's personal story of how she redefined style might just change your mind... and your wardrobe! In this moving and highly personal talk, Stasia shares how she tried to protect her 5-year-old daughter - who had physical differences - from the pain of not fitting in by dressing her in "the cutest little bootcut jeans and capped sleeves you've ever seen." But it was her daughter, and her request for a button down shirt and bowtie, that transformed Stasia's understanding of how crucial style is to our sense of self.
Stasia is a Style Coach and Body-Positivity Advocate who ushers women from feelings of insignificance, body shame and a perpetual state of “why-bother” into radically embracing who they are and who they want to be, and encouraging them to fully show up in the world. She is the founder and creator of Stasia’s Style School.
www.stasiasavasuk.com/
Stasia Savasuk is a body-positivity advocate who teaches about Inside-Out Congruency--who we are on the outside can--and should-- reflect who we are on the inside, a concept that has changed the lives of thousands of girls and women. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@SB-gq7fp]

This is why kids are literally the best thing ever. you never know who you're raising and how they'll change you and the world

[@karolinamackowiak6418]

It seems like her daughter taught her more about life, than she have tried to teach her daughter. And thank gods for that, if the daughter did not have her own mind about things, mother would unknowingly hurt her. Please trust your daughters from time to time. They might be little, but they are never small.

[@fleurishwisdom9544]

kids are sometimes like Angels..they send us signs and a beautiful wisdom.

[@dionysiapapadatou3996]

Totally agree!!!

[@carlafrancisco590]

"I can run faster and jump higher". I don't think I will ever look at cloths the same way. This message is so powerful as it touches self-esteem at it's deepest levels. Really a great talk and example for all of us. Thank you and your daughter xx

[@phyliciajoykloes]

Same for me. I love you took this saying from her speech. So good.

[@pabitranmohansahoo935]

Super

[@julieburke9278]

I cried like a baby when your beautiful daughter stood up at the end. Amazing TED talk, Stasia!

[@smallcatandtallcat5886]

I imagine many of us did

[@helenavuckovic5242]

Me toooo!!! ♡

[@dnd1007]

Girl, same!

[@Changeworld408]

so beautifull, yr daughter can be proud of you as you are proud of her. Yr daughter is so vibrant and authentic and beautifull. You rock

[@Thyluvaly]

Oh my goodness I got me crying ur daughter is an inspiration

[@svvvvaaa]

Hey, it is been some 4 months since I watched this Talk. Since then, I have developed a closer relation with myself than ever before. I used to be shy, and actually did not have the guts to dress up the way I felt like. Now days I can express myself so much more by dressing up the way I really want to and feel so relaxed also. Although it might not be 'socially accepted' to wear some of the clothes I do, whatever, if I feel like putting something on I will. Also my wardrobe is filled with only the clothes that I really love. It feels so good to have only clothes that you really love.. This talk had a big impact on my life in a positive way, and gave me the foundations to really get into touch with the inner me by dressing up the way I feel good to and not to feel shame about it. Such a great person and talk, thanks

[@cherishlove956]

I am so proud of you

[@prettyhamburger6462]

That's really awesome:)))

[@isabt4]

Your reaction is beautiful! Way to go! ❤️

[@nnylasoR]

(3 years later, but …) I wanted to tell you that I appreciate your comment so much. I hope you are well these days. ✊♥️

[@NatalieBass209]

This was so inspiring. I was clothes shopping with my boyfriend and had a passing thought while looking in the men’s department: “these clothes are so cool, I wish I was a man so I could wear them.” This talk made me realise that there is no reason for me NOT to wear them. Thank you for bringing this to light

[@naughtscrossstitches]

I just turned 30 ... my favourite pair of jeans I found this year are hot pink. I put them on and they make me feel happy! I just dyed my hair purple. I'm an accountant and I'm tired of being put into a style box and I want to be colourful. I want to be bright. When I am I'm happier.

[@videofan1010]

Turning 30 tomorrow!

[@marewaltwms1]

Way to go!!!!!!!!

[@kmom9070]

I can relate. Sometimes my hair is salt and pepper. sometimes it is shades of pink..sometimes it is blue! Sometimes it is shades of blues...no matter what it fits me!

[@alinaarkhipova5793]

Hope it is harmonized)

[@loldrinkacid]

So cute, live your best life!

[@sarahfinney8689]

One of the best TEDx Talks I've ever seen. So inspirational and moving and a much needed message in today's society where people are judged by how they look on the outside - paradigm shift to being congruent with what is on the inside! Love it!

[@velvetindigonight]

Absolutely. xx

[@17thUnicorn]

Yes!!

[@Krissy_K888]

Self-expression is so important. We need to look, talk and act according to our true nature. So sad how many parents try to destroy exactly that in their own kids.

[@rebeccahinson1511]

I'm a vegan, tree hugging, holistic health coach, artist, surfer and self proclaimed "refined hippie" who's always loved fashion. I don't dress how people think or expect me to dress. This was such an inspirational and wonderful talk!

[@MustardSeedish]

Thank you so much! I'm 50 and I was still in search for my style. Recently I received dresses. I normally don't wear dresses. I put them on and I never felt better. I felt pretty, flirty, and alive. As she was talking, I flashed back as a child spinning in a flowy dress, free and whimsical. Here I sit in jeans and a flannel, not that there anything wrong with that, but it's not me. Wow. Powerful talk.

[@eunice.happyyoga]

The lovely lady sitting beside her daughter is so genuinely happy and supportive. Very touching and wise talk.

[@TaraRoddenRobinson]

I had tears in my eyes all the way through your incredible talk. Get ready to be a celebrity, Stasia, because it’s coming for you! The world needs your message. God speed, sweetie!

[@Carriedabout]

This talk made me bawl my eyes out, turn around and laugh hysterically, and then pull the clothes out of my closet! Thank you!

[@kickitlikekirra]

I severed myself from the idea of style in a similar way, and am only now coming around to embrace clothing as a reflection of who and how I am - of course this "just so happens" to be aligning with my realization and understanding of who I am. Great speech. I am inspired! I'm digging back into my closet with a renewed intention and energy!

[@user-xw2zw5uy5k]

I love your daughter, her smile is so pure and makes me cry. Thank you for this great talk, it's definitely a gift.

[@chrisbudge4542]

Thank you for giving me permission to be myself and not feel that I have to dress down for others. More than that its the little part of me that feels that im not worthy. Life is too short to care what others think. Ill try to be present and mindful of my outer self now too. ❤️

[@kathy2888]

I’ve been doing the same! Dressing down to school, everyday, to work and I think it stems from the same feeling of not being worthy when I like to put on my pretty clothes..!!

[@pujajha1992]

i didn't thought that i would cry in a speech about dressing. The way she linked the feeling of dressing up with inner identity was awesome. we dress up and ask others for opinion , do we dress for others? this video made me realize that i shud dress up to be in congruence with the inner self , not to please others.thanx a lot .and i feel so proud for u for making ur daughter so confident and beautiful .xoxo

[@clockwatcher9009]

This is one of the best talks I've watched lately; I'm sharing it with all my family and friends who struggle, like I do, to feel good in the body they are in. Thank you for this.

[@glockgrandma2517]

Love love loved this talk! I made myself some floral skirts and wore them every day during the summer. I’ve always had my own style yet like the speaker I hid out for a couple decades. Since listening to Joe Dispenza I’ve learned I can create myself to be anyone I want and I’ve discovered I want to be the best me possible. I started Miracle Morning again, started Keto again and am developing my inside out congruency as Ms Savasuk spoke of. I love how life brings all these magical nuggets of beauty and truth together! ❤️🌸❤️🌸❤️

[@livingdiystyle]

She is such an amazing mom and speaker! I hope she has great success with her Style School.

[@musibatty]

What an inspiring message! I cried the whole way through. You and Raissa are two wise women that have come to open our eyes and hearts to what is true for all of us: we each are who we are and only we know what feels right to us. Thank you, Stasia for showing up as the brave bold sparkle that you are. Your brilliance has set us all on fire!

[@LittleDropsofWonderful]

One of the best TED talks I’ve ever seen! Thank you xx

[@jayjay1971100]

I appreciate that you were introspective enough to see your real child...a rather remarkable child. I m so glad you are able to enjoy the unique ride you have been given.

[@lorrainemarcketta489]

I watched this TED Talk over a year ago. I just watched it again and found myself tearing up, with a lump in my throat, filled with admiration for Stasia and Raisa. So inspirational!

[@Lygjugujkh9876]

She is so lucky to have a mother like you.

[@hasarawadumesthri5574]

Hat's off to this lady!!!!!This is the first TED talk that made me cry and that much emotional.

[@HeatherHandmade]

I just love this! Thanks for sharing your knowledge and light!

[@josephinekromer2827]

I'm a vegan, hippie, alternative healing, stay at home mama who wears full 50s fashion down to hair, makeup and heels 😊 makes me happy

[@lass1198]

I watched this and thought I'm a vegan, hippie, stay at home mum and runner but secretly dream of wearing a pretty summer dress, makeup and heels.

[@josephinekromer2827]

@@lass1198 do it ❤️😊

[@andanssas]

@@lass1198 "dance as if no one is watching" or better yet, dance as if you didn't care about if anyone is watching.

[@orsolyatoth7440]

Love this!

[@cashopa]

Sounds fun!

[@jovonrenee]

So powerful! Thank you for sharing your message with the world! ❤❤❤

[@2legit2Kwit]

Tears at the end.... what a wonderful mother for advocating for her daughter to be her best self!!!!! I love this!!!! Best ted talk ever

[@faithterwilliger5717]

Amazing, Stasia! Thank you for being you in the world and being so inspiring.

[@MariaMunoz-rz1nz]

I’ve watched this couple of times, it’s the most beautiful and inspiring message I’ve heard in a long time! The title doesn’t really convey how strong the message is. It’s about compassion and self love! Thanks you for sharing it!

[@Maggie-wz6ez]

im crying in a packed starbucks with happy tears for this mama

[@sanjayjogdand9102]

Yes ,there is stuff in your saying.i am 64 and on my own I realized this recently, and soon I am going to implement this,thanks ,you confirmed my realization is true !!

[@shelovesfrodo]

Stasia, you convey so much confidence and joy! Thank you for your encouragement!

[@papayamaya05]

Deeply insightful, powerful, and inspiring. You are trifecta of hope for all of us quizzically looking in the mirror and wondering how to transcend the noisy static of fashion and the disservice of its messages. Thank you.

[@GutsAndGall]

Hi Maya! So well said. I so remember you rocking the graphic tees and belts in Style School!

[@dawnfrederick3540]

Tell your daughter I wore an "artist's tie" on my job interview with a slick, cream colored wool pencil skirt suit. I still have the job 38 years later. I had leather artist ties, wool ties with chiffon blouses. I wore a wool tie on my 30th birthday at my party. I wore these ties for 10 years with my high heel pumps. "Nobody could tell me nothin'"

[@TxHoneyBee]

WoW! What industry do you work in?

[@theblessedlife2376]

Wow!! This one was breathtaking. It’s s must watch for everyone out there. Thank you for showing me who I truly am. Don’t have enough words to appreciate. Loved it. Thank you.

[@nicole-secondaryemail-mort9617]

@10:50 "I learned... that in order to see and celebrate your beauty you have to know who you are on the inside. You have to truly see yourself. I learned that style - how you show up in the world - isn't petty, trite or superficial. It's complex. It's dynamic. And it has to be congruent from the inside [to the outside]." @16:25 "Style isn't really about the clothes. It's about who you are on the inside and how you choose to show up in the world." (- the power of inside-outside congruence) Awesome. Thank you for sharing what you've learned.

[@ELA-nu1pe]

So Amazing!!! I found this so moving and powerful. Thank you so much for sharing this!

[@ConnieVeilleux]

XThis leaves me breathless and in tears. This is SO powerful!

[@MadebyMixy]

Stasia & Raisa: you are such an inspiration! I love how you're spreading your message and unraveling the old paradigm of what we're 'meant to' wear. It IS important. You're leading a revolution! Big love X

[@cintiacanpers]

Simply amazing!!!! One of the most inspiring TEDs I’ve ever seen!!! Congratulations and thank you!

[@magdalenakomorowska6964]

This is brilliant. Great woman with great daughter :)

[@rosj91]

Thank you very much for this. Very powerful message.

[@amandadudley2983]

Pulled on the ol' heart-strings! So inspiring, and reinforcing as well for me. Thank you :)

[@GrasshopperRDG]

I am a Ted Talk Fanatic and This, By Far, IS* one of the the most POWERFUL Conveys of SELF-ACCEPTANCE...{IMPACTFULLY} I've Ever Watched!!! I'll NEVER Forget It!

[@stelladonnelly2832]

I quite agree, I've watched a few talks but this gets to the basis of things - it's not really about the outer looks but the real you showing through. Love it.

[@anapaulagomes6567]

AMAZING! That's the only word I can use to describe this talk. Thanks Stasia for sharing your story! Much love to you and your brave daughter! ♥️

[@Soaringhawkvintage]

Oh you made me cry and smile ... I'm so glad I originally found you on instagram! BRAVO! Also, I agree with Sarah ... one of THE best Tedx Talks I've seen, and I have seen many.

[@elissamclean2407]

So inspiring! I love this talk! Thank you, Stasia!

[@charlottetemple8845]

This is an incredible talk! Thank you so much for this encouragement and inspiration!

[@DustFreeZone]

Stasia, you are an inspiration! Thank you for your beautiful spirit, family, and above all, your VERY IMPORTANT message! Thank you, thank you, thank you, and bless you for the work you do.

[@nanabellerud6399]

Wow, I was not expecting this! So glad I clicked and kept watching! Yes, one of the best TED talks, no doubt.

[@anewloveofficial9137]

I couldn't agree more to this! You should always do the things that makes you happy like dressing up the way that match your personality. I'm also the one who practice this and it's really effective because it helps me cope my depression.

[@SuperVictory2]

Wow! Powerful message. Inspirational. Thank you for sharing.

[@thandalashandumbatheni1157]

I sensed this intense energy among these family members, you guys are blessed with uniqueness and livelihood. Thank you Stasia & daughter, husband and granny.

[@andreaguidera1560]

Brilliant video!!! Very powerful message! Thank you!!! Your daughter is amazing! You and your husband are amazing!

[@thefaceyogacoach]

Not the usual type of talk I would be attracted to watch, but so glad I did. Stasia's words were profound, and touched me deeply. What an awesome child, truly beautiful.

[@meganspillarsart]

So beautiful!! Incredible message for all kids who struggle with self-doubt. Thank you!

[@keena0202]

My eyes are burning from holding back tears . Amazing talk

[@visnjapopovic3705]

don't hold them back : ) we release toxins and flow with our emotions when we cry.

[@prayda]

what a beautiful story, made me so emotional!

[@upasnasaurabh1805]

may this world find more people like u who can celebrate thier uniqueness

[@ettoilemagik]

This message is so deep and her talk emotional. That was really great! Her daughter is an example we all should follow.

[@annabrindley]

So grateful for this insight. Love Love Love it!

[@kaitlynclifford2799]

So much perspective! As a teacher, I find this incredibly inspirational and a great tool in how to support our students.

[@jasenkavukelic5047]

You are so precious! Thank you!

[@neerajagupta3470]

oh i am speechless and i cant stop my tears through my smile! easily one of my mostest favorite TEDx Talks!! Stasia, you've changed lives with this share x god bless you and your gorgeous daughter xxx much love xxxx

[@sallyrich2195]

OMG Stasia you rock!! Your family would be soooo proud of you watching that ... it is amazing! love you philosophy of life .... I think Raisa was given to you as a gift to share this amazing truth xoxox love Sally Jayne from Australia ;)

[@yayayachiru]

Beautiful story and message! Thank you so much for sharing with us all!!!!

[@akilav2981]

This was beautiful and inspiring. Thank you so much!

[@ruthclarke8943]

Fabulous message. Just awesome !!

[@chhayasuvarna3092]

such a beautiful TEDx talk!! im in tears.

[@moirosalina]

both you and your daughter look gorgeous. Beautiful speech, thank you for sharing your take on this.

[@babss2276]

Great! What a beautiful person inside and outside, what a Wunderful Mum to her cool daughter! Thanks for this speach!

[@k.l.8804]

I'm an academic & feel the pressure to dress very casually to be taken seriously. But what I want to wear is that precise pink dress!!! So much joy! :-D

[@carawolffm]

So beautiful and inspiring. You are a force!

[@nmawar2]

Perfect way to know ones inside to show outside... Breaking boundaries .at best

[@vasanthagona2785]

I thank you for giving an eye opener talk and i bless your daughter for letting us hear her story.

[@sharika3863]

So beautiful. Authentic. Thank you for this Stasia... The best TED talk

[@carriek333]

You are an inspiration!!! Style School changed my life and YOU were made to change lives!

[@staceykeeling5842]

What an awesome mom and speaker!

[@heididelatierra-yoga]

I love this tedX talk and Stasia very much!! Listening again to this amazing and inspirational message!

[@Chhabra_Shivani]

This is one of the most powerful Ted talks. I’m sure I’m going to come here again and again, sharing it with as many people as I can. :)

[@meeeromeeero5674]

Million thanks for sharing your beautiful story of your beautiful daughter 😍

[@teodoralilova-stoyanova9582]

What a touching story, Stasia! Thank you for sharing it with us and thank you for inspiration. Your daughter is beautiful and you are a great mom for recognizing and guiding her to express her true self.

[@kris061000]

Thank you for touching my soul!You are an inspiration! Sending blessings your way!

[@AlicyaSimmons]

love this talk - congruency of ourselves is what we are - getting there & staying there - our appearance is important - showing up in our own lives is what life is. Show up!

[@withthesehands1631]

How very powerful! Thank you for opening up and sharing! God Bless! (and Yes your daughter is Beautiful, Powerful, Strong, Holy and Wonderfully made in His Image! Hug her for me and tell her she is loved).

[@stephanievanornum3848]

Your message resonates deeply with my heart. Keep up the good work, we need your voice in the world.

[@meadowrae1491]

I love this! And your daughter is fantastic. My mom forced me to wear the lacey dresses and I hated it. I much preferred boys' jeans and a sturdy cotton shirt. To this day I prefer real cotton jeans and sturdy shirt with chucks. For professional wear nothing feels better than a well fitted suit, but I haven't had one of those in a while.

[@khulantsendauysh778]

Her speech touch my heart and feed my soul. So proud of your beautiful daughter and you.

[@joannajohnson5396]

That was lovely and inspiring. Thank you!

[@joannemullan8124]

Great Message, thank you Stasia

[@ReinaSanchez]

Wow! this sis amazing! I will start dressing with congruency from the inside out! Thank you!

[@souhailaseck5543]

My tears went down when her girl stand up what a cheerleader mom so much love and lessons thank u

[@jeanmichelo9800]

Not what I was expecting but that's just the point isn't it. A beautiful, real life, in practise reminder, to know our values and live them. You've given your daughter the head start in knowing and living her purpose. ~Thank you Stasia and your beautiful daughter Raissa.

[@gabriellesenza9205]

THIS! Thank you for sharing your daughter's powerful wisdom to know ~ and willfulness to express ~ Who. She. Is. Very powerful and moving. 🙏🏽

[@NINAMAVEN]

That was beautiful! As someone labeled a "Style Expert" This is exactly how I Approach My Style & my Clients Style Discovery. I may not use the exact same words, but this is my approach. I am soo excited about my channel & blog relaunch in November! This is just conformation for me. Thanks Tedx Talk & Stasia Savasuk for this amazing Speech!

[@carolinezina3543]

WOW!! THIS WAS AMAZING!!! Her and her kid are SO cute! Thanks for the talk!

[@alexandriagachuhi7718]

I'm in tears! What a beautiful and powerful message. Thank you for sharing ❤️ I feel both challenged and motivated. 🤗