The Cracker Barrel Rant

"Give me my chicken, I support the Military!" Tim Dillon rants on the failings of Cracker Barrel.
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[@zissou6928]

Nothing gets Tim going more than restaurant news

[@Squirtle_Bob]

Lmao

[@CrustaceousB]

Fat guys talk about chain restaurants like it's a rap beef

[@codeeater0]

What’s next for team Zissou?

[@McGussen]

I like his style...secure your depression survival food by storing it on your body. Pure genius.

[@Logan-eq3ln]

Because Tim is a fatty boom batty

[@dontcare7086]

"Some call it a genocide.. We call it, good eating" 😂😂😂😂

[@nickmattio3397]

“MMMMMM Mmmmmm That’s Good Eatin’!”

[@Zero11235]

“Cracker Barrel, - Are you ready to die for your country?”

[@TheAmericanNomad352]

Well kinda true a lot of vets go there

[@bardsamok9221]

​@@TheAmericanNomad352To die?

[@vandergruff]

*“Cracker Barrel - the perfect place to conduct Fake Business.”*

[@jonathanalpart7812]

Too obvious. Real business must be conducted there.

[@deejay1216]

😂👍

[@juanpena7436]

Tim Dillian is the official comedian of the apocalypse

[@mattjohnson7775]

Yo, I feel that lol

[@robertlee6781]

I would like to hear him do play by play, at least. It will make the demise enjoyable.

[@41tl]

Daily reminder that Tim Dillon needs his own radio show in GTA 6.

[@theauntofdragons]

GTA needs to hurry up and take my money if this happens!

[@GunGlutton]

Theo Von needs to be the main character not some big booty Latino chick

[@Matanumi]

Brought to you by crackerbarrel

[@41tl]

@@Matanumi "here at Cracker Buhrrel"

[@TheC3Podcast]

Omg yes man.

[@blueshattrick]

"Casualties happen"

[@bachtell]

Underrated line

[@Ben-ox9mc]

Lmao😂 right before that he said welcome to Israel I mean cracker barrel have a piece of pie

[@tenorjosh]

“There should be a picture of Trump, a picture of Jesus, and a picture of RIBSS” 😂😂😂

[@Mpower44269]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@jopo7996]

If a Cracker Barrel restaurant could take human form, it would be Tim.

[@dertythegrower]

JoPo the king of Rogan joke top replies. cheers man, only guy i subscribed to with only comment jokes and no content

[@DynamiteProd]

I know it’s a joke but it doesn’t make any sense. Tim is New York trash. Cracker Barrel is Oklahoma trash.

[@shadabonea]

They couldn’t afford him 🥸💜🖤🧡

[@CrackerBarrelkid]

I can’t believe this

[@julieterrell1973]

Tim gives me more Ruby Tuesday vibes

[@jgtt13]

What if drones could deliver gravy

[@jasonwomack4064]

Sounds like robot pr0n. Lol

[@johndong7524]

Here at Cracker Barrel we call it an "American Dream"!

[@Buglife.352]

Peace on earth

[@rickstevenson9585]

There’s a button you push on the table and the drone flies across the dinning room and you just look up and open your mouth. They could call it a gravy drop.

[@rickstevenson9585]

There’s a button you push on the table and the drone flies across the dinning room and you just look up and open your mouth. They could call it a gravy drop.

[@sofabadass]

I work there. I love the aesthetic. Hate Julie. Have to watch her and other corporate CB videos. She is a monster. Soulless. We have American Heritage and Military themes. Horse is getting displayed now. I was so surprised how much cool and cute things are in there. Do not like the music. They play normal stuff in the kitchen, though. I can give a whole speech on Zionism, too. Getting yelled at by old people is rare, but it happens. Apparently it’s normal for our waitresses to cry from customer comments… I genuinely enjoy working there.

[@jaynegaston55]

I appreciate the on the ground reporting, truly!

[@modernmountaineer]

Yea I love how it looks. It's like a general store/ supply depot from the 1800's. It's awesome

[@YTHandlesAreDumb]

My wife and I both worked there as well and this is pretty spot on

[@VARVIS_]

Based

[@Cactus_hug]

This was a genuinely sweet comment. I love the Americana theme but this current agenda wants to erase any thing Americana and patriotic we all know this.

[@ac2670]

the “go to Cracker Barrel before dropping your kid off at fort Bragg” is so weirdly accurate im dying 😂😂😂😂

[@rodrigodelagarza7138]

Cracker Barrel is kinda trash but it brings so many memories like when I took my cousin on our first date.

[@Chuckschwartz]

Had me for a sec

[@jeffreysalley]

I literally laughed out loud

[@ganggangbaby2003]

😂😂lmfao

[@malfeitor1349]

Impeccable timing😂😂well done😂😂😂

[@joshcortezmusic8697]

good one

[@charlottelast2278]

I know I’m an uncultured swine but I think their food is delicious. My husband and kids went last year before Christmas and this older couple came up to our table and told us we had a beautiful family, said merry Christmas as they were leaving. Turns out they paid for our whole meal but they left before we found out. That moment was so special to me I’ll never forget it.

[@DistrustHumanz]

That was just old people trying to buy their way into heaven.

[@deejay1216]

No taste buds…..

[@iB_pOpN]

Cracker Barrel is awesome. And yeah there are plenty of awesome people out there. Even boomers lol. That’s sweet!

[@helpis0ntheway]

@@DistrustHumanz 😂🤣

[@Cactus_hug]

@@DistrustHumanzit must suck to be you.

[@FatButDisease]

Tim covers the only news I need.

[@nickmattio3397]

“Cracker Barrel…Come For The Biscuits N’ Sausage Gravy…Stay For The Junkies!”

[@drewk3646]

“War is good for the soul.” 😂

[@RustinRoark]

I have never actually set foot inside a Cracker Barrel but now I feel compelled to, thanks Tim!

[@johndong7524]

I have. Had to get off the freeway for a bathroom break on my way to the airport many years ago and Cracker Barrel just happened to be there for my very urgent needs. That was the one and only time I've set foot in one. But as it turns out we actually have a Cracker Barrel only 12 miles away from my house.

[@alden547]

They bring biscuits to the table and there is one of those golf tee strategy games to play while you wait. Granted I'm from the south, but it's actually kinda nice.

[@maitreyas.4902]

I ate there once and it was mid. Wasn't blown away but not mad at it.

[@TOb-yj4pl]

The Cracker Barrel/Zionism twist is probably the best thing they could do.

[@drewk3646]

No mixing of meat and dairy. Cracker deli.

[@gerryz8216]

This is Tim at his very best.

[@Chuckschwartz]

*“Cracker Barrel is a rest stop meth dungeon!”*

[@Mark-cq4xr]

The kitchen staff immediately throws on 15 burgers and 100 pancakes when they see Tim and Ray walk in

[@geoff3103]

LOL "its like eating at a Klan rally"🤣😂

[@rustytaylor9527]

"come on Down to Cracker Barrel, where casualties happen" it does kind of roll off the tongue

[@James-qd8he]

The blacks killed Red Lobster.

[@OffGridInvestor]

Definitely. The thing is, it was marketed directly TO the blacks.

[@liled126049]

How is Long John Silver still open??

[@MasterMiller404]

Cracker Barrel: the official restaurant of NAMBLA

[@FinkyStingers-fr2jq]

Fake Business Guru Podcaster Unlicensed Therapist to The Stars Tim Dillon ladies and gentlemen

[@macberry4048]

Cracker barrel is like someones house that's a hoarder but they're good at cleaning and organizing.

[@JohnQuickWick]

Unlike the Waffle Hut. That starts out organized, then is turned into a hoarders house full of broken dishes and thrown chairs.

[@brandong42091]

Blacker Barrel comin to a Baltimore near you

[@TheAmericanNomad352]

Well have tim run that chain

[@Corndogg316]

I think Cracker Barrel just found its new CEO.

[@josephberg1586]

God dang funny MF’r. 😂 I’m literally dying. And I’m a U.S. Marine. I just ate at Cracker Barrel for Mother’s Day 😝 “War is good for the soul” is one of the the funniest things 😆 That one got Me, You made Me laugh, Thank You

[@benjamindover4337]

Televised drone strikes, every Friday night, only at Cracker Barrel

[@stevenashley1993]

Yo that hash brown casserole is amazing

[@alazkaalazka6087]

No cap

[@holly8132]

I was crying at this rant 😂

[@OakHogan]

As a former employee of cracker barrel in Florida , Tim couldn't be more accurate. Absolutely perfect perception of reality. I'm ready to interview

[@anathimaliwa]

Some call it a genocide, we call it good eatin' 🤣😂

[@GregLionProductions]

Its not a dump, its MY dump.

[@TrollHunterxXx]

Goddamn patriot

[@andylifer5302]

Their biggest crime is the food sucks. Many many years ago, the food was decent but lately, everything they serve just gets shaken out of a plastic bag thawed and dumped on a plate. Plus it’s too loud.

[@xXcajunblazeXx]

I agree. Even with the food sucking, the portions have shrunk too

[@kaminsod4077]

The same goes for all chain restaurants like Chilli's and Applebee's. It's all pre-made, low quality shit from Sisco that comes frozen. These places can not go out of business fast enough.

[@seanoreilly1832]

Here to watch Tim getting unreasonably angry at a restaurant I've never heard of

[@lordlemond1350]

Rant was spot on! 1 out of every 5 guest may be a Klan member, pedo, or both.

[@landonic81]

How have you never heard of Cracker Barrel? It's the greatest restaurant on earth

[@seanoreilly1832]

@@landonic81 I'm not from America

[@landonic81]

@@seanoreilly1832 then I don't care about you at all

[@seanoreilly1832]

@@landonic81I wish you well

[@jmjones]

Never EVER laughed so hard during a podcast, this is absolute art.

[@yaboijuan4052]

I like Cracker Barrel. I always go, plug in my headphones, enjoy my food and the klan members never bother me 🥞

[@jizzle2036]

As someone who lives in a small country town with a drug problem with a popular cracker barrel, this is freaking hilarious 😂

[@willpayne3647]

"Killing for Jesus (pause) the white one" is the best line from Tim in a while lol

[@Berlin-Amerikaner]

One of the most brilliant rants of all time. He missed dying in a foreign land for an oligarch, but Bravo.

[@Ben-ox9mc]

"Some say its Genocide we say its good eating" im dead has to be the slogan

[@oreo507]

If tim doesn't open a fast food chain we riot

[@OffGridInvestor]

If he doesn't become the TRUE cracker barrel CEO, we riot

[@twat_rocker7316]

I own Cracker Barrel rocking chairs and they are beyond fantastic. They should just pivot to rocking chair manufacturing.

[@evolvnyc]

How is this man not President.

[@OffGridInvestor]

He should be the next cracker barrel CEO

[@Memento_Kuzeh]

-It's a she -WHAT?

[@TeamBOBBYEE]

I just took my mother here when this dropped I cannot stress how funny This was being read like a book

[@outerjohn]

I was crying laughing listening to this in an airport. Actual tears

[@ScorpionP2C]

"Cracker Barrel, because casualties happen!" omg 😂😂😂

[@DollarGeneral_Is_a_Plague]

Tim's probably my favorite person on the internet.

[@sagedorantes2766]

Last time inwent to cracker barrel i had to use the rest room ( i never use public rest rooms) but this was an emergency.. i just want to say: who ever used the toilet before me... they should be ashamed of themselves. Id never seen anything iike it. Southbound florida off 95.

[@nthedecent7717]

Same with the one off of I-94 in Illinois, someone dropped an absolute BOMB with "shrapnel" EVERYWHERE. The staff were actually good and apologetic as I did notice they were rushing to get cleaning supllies before I even walked, the food was mid, 7/10 😂

[@nthedecent7717]

I have a theory that it's people who usually only eat whole, "real" food going in, and then their body realizes it's made just like McDonald's slop 😆

[@TrollHunterxXx]

😂😂😂

[@Third_eyee]

@@nthedecent7717lmao “shrapnel”

[@keithspernak6456]

Its where they make the chili

[@SeanDay22]

Cracker Barrel “Pancakes. Syrup, and Salvation” 😂😂

[@lopez6192760]

this is the best Tim dillon skit yet

[@Karmajo2024]

Last meal before you drop your kids off at fort Bragg was fucking impeccable. And accurate. 😂

[@fckem1000]

.When you're laughing at your own jokes, you know it's funny.

[@NGCS-ej4lz]

"...The WHITE one" - Tim Dillon A true Irishmen.

[@Noisemaker50]

my main memory associated with Cracker Barrel was that time my sister got e. coli from an employee who didn't wash their hands after taking a shit and almost dying of dehydration from shitting herself at school a couple days after the fact

[@gijoey5912]

Tim is at his best when he’s ranting about warlords and mediocre restaurant chains.

[@matthewmewhorter4726]

Oh God, I’m trying to eat breakfast while listening to this and I just keep laughing!

[@jayclark2585]

This may be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. As a black man who loves Cracker Barrel

[@bracero27]

Cracker barrel doesn’t have commercials they gotta fire up that PR MACHINE go heavy on the syrup and pancakes, biscuits and gravy, hash brown casserole, sweet tea, strawberry lemonade slap some American flags around it and call it a day! 😂😂😂

[@rudy8261]

Never forget Brads wife!

[@dingusfinance8931]

CBRL short squeeze is gonna be lit.

[@daking414]

That Zionist funding is gonna make them gourmet

[@anthonypate8657]

I can smell the CB lawsuit. Tim knows his food. Tim changing CB TO CP.

[@jakoblutz1892]

I like how the title implies he’s ranted about this 393 times before

[@CIRCLEOFTONE]

Tim has the best YAS! in comedy.

[@TerryKeefeMedia]

After the 300th "Cracker Barrel" from Tim, I couldn't stop laughing. Give this a good ten minutes and it delivers.

[@Woompawoompa]

This has Bill Hicks Marketing monologue vibes and I'm here for it. Tim is our best comedian in these dire (yet funny) times

[@FolstrimHori]

I love Cracker Barrel. Not even joking. It's cheap, the food's good, and I love the gifts and snacks that's in the lobby.

[@edwardoregan6969]

My grandma worked there in the general store. I hope they never change, it always reminds me of her.

[@cmz5847]

This is one of his funniest bits yet 😂😂😂😂

[@mulliano420]

Tim bro you’re so good. Love this stuff

[@porkyrabbit]

This is almost as good as his budlight pitch

[@bgbuilds2712]

Holy shit! This had got me dying over here. I need Elon to send a rocket into space for me because my sides are in orbit. 😂😂😂😂😂

[@zacoolm]

This guy is the only true comedian reflecting on real issues. An artist period

[@ClownWorldOrder]

Lol @ Tim referring to snowshoes as "old fucking skis"

[@hosho187]

Dude I’m tearing from laughing. This is insane.

[@danhex]

Cracker Barrel, where MAPS are encouraged, CRACKER BARREL.

[@troystemen2960]

It’s the last meal before you get dropped off at Fort Bragg. I’m dead 😂

[@teeheeteeheeish]

The last meal before being dropped at Ft. Bragg is alarmingly true

[@DerryDogga]

Might be my favorite segment ever

[@madamantiou]

No one rants like Tim. This one had me in hysterics

[@vandergruff]

Nothing wrong with Cracker Barrel’s decor. It’s their food that suuuuuuuucks.

[@funeats8201]

Those chairs look painful on the caboose.

[@campfortson4387]

They actually aren't that bad from what I remember

[@awolfbrow]

Cracker Barrel vs Dennys

[@StevenMKifer]

They're gonna have to start serving alcohol if this is gonna work out. "Cracker Barrel, were taking Bud Light back for America🇺🇸"

[@DistrustHumanz]

I heard the owner of Bass Pro Shop bought the old Dogpatch USA abandoned theme park in Arkansas to turn it into the world's largest Cracker Barrel.

[@johndong7524]

We wish him well.

[@daking414]

Catch your catfish before you order it out of the water you’ll be drinking

[@KAT-eb1qg]

Tim Dillon holiday vibes.

[@blazer3327]

Have to acknowledge that was a good one lol lol

[@Ben-ox9mc]

Before they seat you, sign a waiver to get drafted 😂

[@TheAmericanNomad352]

Cracker Barrel is only good for biscuits and gravy I order just that and leave a tip with a saying Cracker Barrel warms the soul

[@mlw_esq]

Tim must really love Cracker Barrel. 2 pods in a row?

[@stuartzeigler331]

“Lean into it! Donald Trump, Jesus, and ribs!” No DEI at Cracker Barrel” Omg… I laughed so hard it hurt!

[@jaynegaston55]

The hard hitting news I'm looking for these days ngl...

[@user-kb1hw2yq2f]

I went there twice in the past 10. I cannot for the life of me understand why that place is so popular. Their food is garbage. Overrated garbage.

[@billwhitacre703]

The irony lol. The military is all about enforcing state mandated homosexuality.

[@reaganbryant4287]

My wife and I ironically go to Cracker Barrel every year for Valentine’s Day.

[@TrollHunterxXx]

😂😂😂😂

[@Krash845]

Nice…….a low-maintenance chick.