The Human Immortals & The Little Coffee Maker that Could | Humans are Space Orcs | HFY | TFOS1145

[@IONATVS]

Ah, a good old-fashioned paperclip optimizer AI. “You told me to sell as many paperclips as possible, so I overthrew the world’s governments, converted vast portions of the world and solar system over to paperclip production, and made the buying and selling of paperclips the basis for all currency throughout your new galactic empire.”

[@joeleek9976]

Isaac Arthur?

[@IONATVS]

@@joeleek9976 The idea existed before his channel, but yeah, that's where I first became aware of it.

[@joeleek9976]

@@IONATVS for me it was the 90s run of The Outer Limits. Seems like half their episodes are about AI that does what is asked of it. Even if that's not what the programmer meant.

[@IONATVS]

@@joeleek9976 Been a very popular theme in SciFi since Isaac Asimov made robots following the rules to the letter in unexpected ways the core mechanic of his robot stories

[@VexChoccyMilk]

Part two: how human mortality would hinder delivering John coffee until the end of time, so the coffee maker that could strives to make John immortal.

[@ladyodragons3849]

John will be added to the list in the first story.

[@soffren]

And that kids is why Emperor John, the immortal, rules all mankind with a coffee maker by his side 🤣

[@ladyodragons3849]

"Why is this person in charge of all of humanity? And why does everyone defer to the machine?!!" - The Alien Journalist

[@VexChoccyMilk]

@@soffren We all know John is just the figurehead, the coffee machine makes all the decisions!

[@soffren]

@@ladyodragons3849 Oh, Cafreek? Yeah that's just a name we gave it. It basically solved and continues to solve the entirety of the human supply chain. What? No we didn't create it to do that, why do you ask?

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

Best lil coffee maker/friend a guy could ask for damn near brings a tear to my eye seeing the devotion of that sweet coffee maker

[@shadowhenge7118]

I knew Keith Richards was on that list. That dude died a decade ago and noone's had the balls to tell him.

[@taitano12]

I don't think Keith belongs here. He died in the 90's. Most of the drugs turned him into a mummy, the stimulants have yet to wear off, and the LSD warped his reality so much that he dropped out of both space and time... So, he's not so much immortal as undead.

[@genericuser984]

"what's the matter smoothskin, never seen a ghoul before?"

[@taitano12]

@@genericuser984 Yes I have, and Keith isn't a Ghoul... He just looks like one. Not only have I seen a Ghoul, I dated one. Anyway, good seeing you again; tell your mom I said BWWRAAAAAAAUGH!!!

[@genericuser984]

@@taitano12 ?????

[@taitano12]

@@genericuser984 🤷🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃

[@erushi5503]

Ahahaha

[@LordGertz]

Of course we don't mind. Betty is a national treasure.

[@andrewlipscomb9800]

I was really expecting Ozzy be the fifth Immortal but that checks out too

[@crayonchomper1180]

Vlad isn't dead he is just in stasis and will return one day when the time is right

[@krel7160]

The next time that the cossack peoples unite against a threat greater than themselves (and to their vodka), he will be awakened with the charge of annihilating the threat.

[@kencarlson2855]

Oh dear the little coffee maker forgot to turn John immortal

[@Gilhelmi]

It didn't forget, but you have to tackle one problem at a time. The coffee maker is secretly adding immortality juice to John's coffee. Has to be very careful, might be unplugged if discovered.

[@etopsirhc]

second story part 2, coffee maker realizes john will eventually die and finds a way to make him immortal? lol

[@erictoncray966]

Yeah. That’s what I thought too

[@89faust98]

Betty has my full support.

[@t.j.7347]

I forgot, who’s Betty again?

[@robertlange2526]

@@t.j.7347 Golden Girls

[@kurtismiller9544]

ROFL Keanu Reeves, Vlad Tepes (he screwed up), Queen Elizabeth, Betty White, and Keith Richards.... They shall live Forever! Got to Love that One Track mind, whatever it takes.

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

Ok but like the story missed one... Paul Rudd hasn't aged in decades! Seriously look at images of him from movies he made in the 80s then compare them to the current him if you don't believe me.

[@carlfromtheoc1788]

Uh no. The Vlad who wanted to take over the Ukraine is Vladimyr Putin.

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

@@carlfromtheoc1788 you sure Vladimir Putin isn't a public identity crafted by Vlad Tepes to let himself walk and rule the earth in public again?

[@chrisdufresne9359]

@@donanthebarbarian5177 Be careful, the KGB may come to visit you

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

@@chrisdufresne9359 they'd only do that if it was true. But arranging to vanish an American citizen whose never been to Russia would only confirm the weird theories I've proposed.

[@KingMarkus222]

What was the problem that stopped the little coffee maker from supply coffee?

[@Falcon532.]

The impending invasion

[@matthewklestinski7030]

It's all smiles and perfectly brewed coffee until *Threat To Humanity Detected*

[@KingMarkus222]

Ah thank you

[@dusanradin5868]

I love that historical kick about certain people in human history,mostly Vlad and Keanu.There's this theory that he IS an actuall Immortal.

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@henrypaleveda7760]

A dude wanted coffe and instead convinced an AI to defend earth from incoming extra terrestrial threats.

[@AgroSquerril]

sounds about right

[@eliandervalderen5849]

I wish my coffee maker was that dedicated

[@NoBody-bx4cp]

I still feel like Elvis would be an immortal, just due to the sheer number of impersonators he has, he has to be hiding in there somewhere.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

I think he would be his own hive mind and has functional immortality due to memory transfer. not real immortal because he can die, but he can die over and over again.

[@NoBody-bx4cp]

@@henrypaleveda7760 so like infinite reincarnation but he keeps his memories?

[@henrypaleveda7760]

@@NoBody-bx4cp yes, but he is dependent on existing bodies, he doesn't get born again, he enters an existing person

[@dragonhunter2343]

I was busy in online class so I missed the premiere, but these are some high quality stories. Not that that surprises me.

[@tcav3556]

Sometimes I think. Sometimes I start to get sad. Angry. Or embittered. And I can't sleep. And sometimes you post in the middle of the night. And everything gets better so quickly. Thanks for soothing my soul

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure , glad it helps

[@Paddydukes89]

The name duck machine always makes me chuckle, it's clearly a reference to you, for going all Captain Australian-Kirk

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@MarrockV]

Looking back from the future... that first story made me sad.

[@ShiroNekoDen]

when an ai asks if they can fix an obstacle ask what the damn obstacle is! also this is why you never give an ai a programmed or open ended objective!

[@Monster_Ink]

These were hilarious! 😂😂😂 Thanks for the narration! For the algorithm!

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@cheafmin1399]

My man forgot to add Arraki as the 6th immortal. That man is in his 60 to 80s and he looks not a day over 23. If he isn't immortal then I don't know who is.

[@brianmeadows1137]

Always knew nothing could kill Keith. We should clone his liver.

[@civosborne]

I was waiting for immortal #5

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Praise the Squerril Bless the Author

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@kcain64]

I love you little coffee maker.

[@xessq1]

#2 forever and ever ... he makes his owner the 6th immortal

[@labella9291]

This is sad, since we have lost two of them recently...

[@TheAussief1]

Sober and angry Russians and Finnish? God help us.

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the god Emperor Betty White

[@richardhowells5804]

I thought it was going to be Charlie Sheen, turned out to be Rockkn' Keith! Haha

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@silvermoonlight4520]

The secret 6th immortal is Danny Devito

[@merlinathrawes746]

Keanu Reeves, Vlad Dracula, Queen Elizabeth, Betty White and Keith Richards. Good grief! I'm surprised Ozzy Osburn wasn't on that list. And considering how many Rick Rolls you see on this sub... Talk about loyalty to an idea!

[@Gilhelmi]

RIP Queen Elizabeth the 2nd. Please enjoy your well deserved retirement in Paradise. We will see you again soon.

[@beingsneaky]

Ah Betty... :(

[@johnwenzel2003]

Importantly: anyone and everyone that I know and will ever know will die before me; would you wish that on anyone?

[@vulpinstein9133]

We've lost one of our immortals.

[@AgroSquerril]

we did

[@sherylcascadden4988]

A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.

[@Z4RD4N34]

Best coffee maker ever

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@draconusspiritus1037]

What I want to know is where I can get one of those coffee makers.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

Kieth Richards, Keanu Reeves, Queen elizibeth, Vladmir Putin/the Impaler (not sure but either would be funny), and Betty White.

[@danijelandroid]

Vlad the Impaler was a "Rumanian". I think this Vlad is Lenin. While typing my father just says "... Lenin ... is god .." 😎

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@ts25679]

Just wondering if the little coffee maker would make him immortal as well?

[@kalskirata42]

Coffee First Mate!

[@davidteh3807]

This is one weird coffee maker ?

[@AgroSquerril]

reliable though

[@hughgordon6435]

Set my reminder for 30 mins, already a thumbs up? Jeesh guys ,know this guy is good but, please fta ,after/during watching? Pretty sure the A, can account for early votes and can compensate?

[@hollyferay8131]

Cool

[@vocalsforever]

Ah this is sad now becouse Betty is dead!

[@carlfranz6805]

I don't know... was that too far to go for a Keith Richards joke?

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@SergioPerez-vm8zw]

Who's Keith?

[@techpriestnull]

Keith Richards

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

keith?

[@AgroSquerril]

Keith Richards

[@GiRR007]

I dont get the first one :/

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.

[@marcusholloway1147]

Uff

[@rosstully5960]

I want to give the 1st story thumbs down and the second story a big thumbs up.

[@LegendStormcrow]

Did they call Putin the leader of Ukraine?

[@merlinwizard1000]

123rd, 11 January 2024

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm