Anakin’s Moral Dilemma

[@Nerdtendo6366]

I like how Anakin knows what the California Raisins are but not what a dog is

[@BeyondDaX]

There are no ordinary dogs in the Star Wars galaxy but y'know that's fairly obvious

[@elementmanexe8389]

​@@BeyondDaXyeah, space dogs at the space pound, it's in the same sector where space olive garden was

[@mikamo]

I mean there were E.T.s in the senate, I wouldn’t be shocked if there were some California Raisins somewhere in there too.

[@imveryangryitsnotbutter]

@@elementmanexe8389 "We get it, you're from space!"

[@draconis17]

that's because the California Raisins killed them all centuries ago

[@Prauwlet213]

I love solid JJ going into these "moral dilemma" scenes and applying common sense to see how it really wasn't a choice at all.

[@gammaf1365]

because it wasn't a moral dilemma, just plain manipulation

[@XXMatt0040XX]

@@gammaf1365 Mace legit beat Sidious. Just... just saying

[@bloodredhanded]

@@XXMatt0040XX yeah? i dont see how that's relevant to what gamma said

[@XXMatt0040XX]

@@bloodredhanded Because that was his last resort. Mace would have ended it then and there. Sidious was desperate. Afraid.

[@Ana_Ng]

@@XXMatt0040XX hence the manipulation

[@nezt50]

"What's a dog?" Favorite line ever.

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

Mine too 😂😂😂😭🤣💀

[@BraceDecades]

The New Hope novelization did the same gag with a duck.

[@Sgtvalentini]

The best😂

[@LorePlayingGame]

Yet, he knew who the California Raisins were.

[@GreaterGrievobeast55]

Since wolves get to be a thing in star wars I Just like to think anakin is in the dark about pet stuff

[@MatthewCSnow]

I love how pretty much every parody has the Jedi council know about padame like “bro, we knew, it pretty freakin obvious”

[@johnnygyro2295]

Mace: "Hell, you should hang with Quinlan Vos at some point. He apparently was dating Ventress before she died." Anakin: "What?!" Mace: "I know, right?!"

[@naamadossantossilva4736]

If they said that maybe Anakin wouldn't have fallen.

[@kylepessell1350]

The Jedi Order doesn't actually forbid marriages under the right circumstances. If Anakin had been straight with the Council then they might have been willing to make an exception for him. They only discouraged marriage since emotional attachments are a huge weakness for any Jedi being tempted by the dark side (which too be fair, Anakin is a classic example of why they don't normally allow it). Going behind their back to make the marriage happen and then allowing it to influence his decisions without seeking any advice when it starts to go wrong is definitely more on Anakin than the Jedi Order as a whole.

[@doctorakiba]

It seems like for the entire Jedi order, they have this weird unspoken rule about relationships: on paper it's not allowed, but the reality is that everyone is actually free to do it and everyone just turns a blind eye to it. And everyone just kind of automatically understands this subtle underlying thing within their first few days in the academy. Even the Sith lords get it. So without having to say anything to anyone, everyone just kind of "got it". Except for Anakin. And Palpatine's entire scheme relied on how monumentally oblivious Anakin was.

[@zeppelincraft1443]

@@kylepessell1350What Anakin should have said to Mace is to claim he is married to Padme Amidala, former queen of Naboo AND the leader of the only senator faction supporting the Jedi in the clone wars. If he wants to barge into Palpatine’s office he definitely needs Yoda too. Then say, “I had a prophetic vision that Padme will be in danger, which would definitely cause the Senate to 100% turn against the Jedi order.” Then propose if Mace can assign Anakin to guard her just like old times just to be on the safe side as a “final mission”. Would have definitely worked. Mace would probably even say “Congratulations Skywalker, invite me to the wedding once this is over”

[@alfalldoot6715]

Luke didn't redeem his father by appealing to the last vestiges of humanity within him, but rather by promising that he actually knew the Californian Raisins.

[@thespanishinquisition4078]

To be fair, he did know Yoda.

[@LADIES_MAN_DAN]

Yeah yoda does look like a raisin

[@dissonanceparadiddle]

​@@LADIES_MAN_DANyou ever seen raisins from green grapes?

[@nathanielarthurhardy419]

Sultanas?@@dissonanceparadiddle

[@LADIES_MAN_DAN]

@@dissonanceparadiddle lmao yeah

[@WerewolfGuyyy]

"And you believed him?!" How is it after all these years i never thought about how Anakin just takes palpatine at his word about everything 😂

[@elysiankentarchy1531]

"Anakin, I know I have lied to you for literally the entire time I have known you and I have inflicted untold suffering on your wife, your friends, your mentor, and the rest of the galaxy. But trust me, the Jedi are trying to take over and you should follow me so Padme will not die."

[@overlordpichu5577]

on the one hand it shows how successful papa palpatine is as a manipulator that preys on peoples insecurities, a man who could fool not just the jedi and the republic into thinking he was a respectable politician but who could deceive the force itself and hide his presence for years. on the other hand, it goes to show just how rock stupid anakin truly is. like, boy might have built his own podracer at 10 but man. is he dumb.

[@MultiSpeedMetal]

He's desperate enough to take the chance. He is the Sith lord and as far as Anakin is aware he could reasonably be telling the truth.

[@kindlingking]

I mean, beside Obi-Wan, Palpatine is pretty much his only friend. He's also the only onr who listens to him, encourages him and most importantly trusts him. Of course Anakin is going to believe Palpatine.

[@PaintingWinterMusic]

In Palpatine's defense, if you looked like a rotted raisin that's been ripped in half and left in a bag of water for a year, I can understand why you might welcome death.

[@PaintingWinterMusic]

At least if he was in a coffin, other people's eyes would be protected! Also--just going to shamelessly plug--I'm hoping some of you might like the music I make too :)

[@gregvs.theworld451]

@@PaintingWinterMusic You know he has it specifically requested his funeral be open casket. BECAUSE HE'S EVIL!

[@XXMatt0040XX]

There's debate between that being (closer) to what he's *actually* looked like the entire time. I don't think it's really explained, nor is it consistent in the Extended Universe, but Sidious is a black hole. The Shadow is genuinely the best name for the guy. (If you get it, you get it.) The entire time he was around the Jedi he wasn't using makeup, wasn't a (physical) mask, nah he was so powerful from being... A black hole, that he just made himself what I find hard to really describe. Now kids, I leave you with a quote. “And you rage and scream and reach through the Force to crush the shadow who has destroyed you, but you are so far less now than what you were, you are more than half machine, you are like a painter gone blind, a composer gone deaf, you can remember where the power was but the power you can touch is only a memory, and so with all your world-destroying fury it is only droids around you that implode, and equipment, and the table on which you were strapped shatters, and in the end, you cannot touch the shadow. In the end you don't even want to. In the end, you do not even want to. In the end, the shadow is all you have left. Because the shadow understands you, the shadow forgives you, the shadow gathers you unto itself-And within your furnace heart, you burn in your own flame.”

[@XXMatt0040XX]

@@PaintingWinterMusic I (personally) believe he *always* looked more or less like he does here. The Dark is generous... But it reaps it's toll.

[@wolfuii4171]

@@XXMatt0040XXwhere did the information that sidious is a black hole come from

[@Flotsome]

- "I deserve the rank of Master, I deserve the respect" - "YOUR THE CHOSEN ONE MOTHERF****R, HOW MUCH MORE RESPECT CAN YOU ASK FOR!!!" 🤣

[@talentedidiot2843]

YOU NEED TO SIT BETWEEN A MUPPET AND A CONEHEAD FOR THAT?

[@AvantelWulf]

the funny thing is that Palpatine actually did deliberately put Vader into a suit that made him constantly feel pain and that was weak to electricity, so that a) Vader would never be able to crawl back to the Light side, and b) so he could better control him

[@adams13245]

That and dying wouldn't be a very good way to keep Anakin on your side as Palpatine. He's experiencing a major emotional crises and Palps was probably using the Force to influence him. Dying might allow Mace Windu to talk him down. That and for all we know, Palp's may only have the power for one example of the resurrection ritual. Those things aren't cheap, especially with the price of space diamonds going up due to the war.

[@simplebutpowerful]

​@@adams13245The price of space diamonds really shot up in a post-space COVID world. . . . "Admiral Gimbo, you know that jeweler next to the crater that used to be Olive Garden? Gonna need you to commandeer that in the name of the Galactic Empire."

[@XXMatt0040XX]

It's more of a spite thing. Sidious was actually kinda mad that Vader never tried and take him out. (But you're right as well. You're ABSOLUTELY right.)

[@odinsrensen7460]

Nah, I'm pretty sure he just thought it was funny.

[@TheVincentKyle]

This entire thread threads the needle. 👍

[@AtariDad]

That last bit is actually canon. Palpatine could have used better tech to restore Anakin's body, he just wanted to keep him check because he feared his power.

[@kylepessell1350]

With all his resources, Darth Sidious could have not only completely restored Vader but also potentially enhanced him even further. Instead, he choose to cripple Vader and keep him easily controllable while still being able to make use of him (Classic Sith move).

[@AtariDad]

@kylepessell1350 I've always kind of wondered why Vader didn't just use his resources to try and do something similar by himself. Did the suit have some kind of kill switch on it in case he ever tried something like that?

[@kylepessell1350]

@@AtariDad Anakin was known for being fairly competent with technology. However, even he would likely struggle with trying to perform such an advanced surgery on himself while only barely being kept alive by faulty life support in the first place. It might be impossible for him to do anything about by himself and as a Sith he wouldn't trust anyone else to help. A kill switch is possible but would have likely been unnecessary.

[@davidhong1934]

​@@AtariDad In Disney canon, Doctor Cylo did in fact build an off switch into Vader's suit It didn't work because Vader used the Force to keep moving, but that's neither here nor there

[@XXMatt0040XX]

Inconsistently canon; and that goes for old and new canon. Each writer seems to have their own take. Which I kinda like, Sidious' word or reasons should never be trusted.

[@giacomoromano8842]

"YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE MOTHERF*CKER!" At that, i died.

[@XXMatt0040XX]

At that moment Mace should have pulled a Clone Wars Microseries and just crushed him like his did Greivous.

[@stevenadamsapple]

I was crying at this one, the emphasis is just way too good

[@XellosNi]

And totally in character. For Samuel Jackson.

[@tsyumamatsuthehavenofguard32]

Embracing that Samuel L Jackson right there

[@joshuakim5240]

Alternative ending: Mace: "You dumbass! The entire reason we didn't give you Master status is because that's a damn hippie monk position where you quote sh*t that a stoner says! Like when the hell has Yoda ever said anything comprehensible to a normal person?!" Sidious: "He is only trying to undermine your poten-" Mace: "You shut up! Anakin, think about this for five goddamn seconds. Do you really think you can pass our mastership exam, a freaking pen and paper written exam? Did you seriously have the time to remember all of our scriptures during this LITERAL GALACTIC WAR?! We didn't withhold the position because we don't believe in you: we withheld it because it would have been unfair as hell to test you on things that you've been too busy fighting a GALACTIC WAR to study up on!" Anakin: "Hey, i know plenty!" Mace: "What is the biology of a midichlorian?" Anakin: "...um...uh..." Mace: "This is literally one of the first things you learn as a jedi."

[@blankcanvas3358]

1:39 he really said what I was thinking there.

[@papa_squat]

Who ever guessed that Mace would meet his fate being thrown out of a Windu

[@TehCheezMan]

(insert poorly crafted Windu's Vista joke)

[@papa_squat]

@@TehCheezMan the more poorly crafted the better

[@chrisironland7050]

After all these years I've been on this planet, I never came up with this pun....*facepalm* Like, it was right there and everything, even filmatized, ffs... 5/5, would chuckle again :D

[@absolutechaos13]

"Mace, who's this?" "This is my cousin, Hammer Defenestrated" "OK, I'm sensing a theme here."

[@rdw1731]

Classic star wars joke

[@Gabriel-G.]

I CHEERED when Windu actually turned into Sam Jackson at 1:03

[@XXMatt0040XX]

For real! He gets more and more Sam Jackson by *the second.*

[@leojean1774]

Bro became nick fury for a second

[@CalamityMase]

Master Windu unknowingly saves hundreds of children in this simple action. UNTIL HE DID THE STUPID OPTION

[@alfalldoot6715]

Well Anakin was still burnt at the end, so I think the really late-term abortions still happened I think.

[@intotheverse3363]

Talk no Justu unironically defeating the Sith.

[@MA-XXXXXXX]

@@intotheverse3363I mean, that is how ROTJ ends, and since there was never any shitty comic book or crappy movie trilogy where Palpatine came back to life…

[@XXMatt0040XX]

For anyone who thinks "But this was for Anakin's fall" No. Mace made Sidious, *The Shadow,* a black hole in The Force... *Afraid.* Mace invented a modified form of combat, based off of form VII. Which is a *Sith* technique. This entire fight, Mace is *throwing back the Dark Side. But he isn't *falling* to it. I believe every other person who has learned this form, called "Vaapad," has fallen to the Dark Side. Even the guy who he *created it with.*

[@byronrush9802]

​@@MA-XXXXXXXyep I wonder how the next generation are going to handle their trilogy of Star wars adapted from the books maybe since they're still canon

[@rorschac009oo8]

I lost it picturing Mace Windu go "YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE MOFO, HOW MUCH MORE RESPECT DO YOU WANT?"

[@ThePa1riot]

This is ironically one of the best Star Wars parodies I've ever seen. For the simple reason it remembers that the Jedi aren't the villains and makes the obviously evil bad guy being obviously evil the joke.

[@giacomoromano8842]

The Jedi are not the villains, sure, but man if they weren't a whole organisation of stuffed up, hypocritical douchebags.

[@orangeinferno]

It’s the Sam Jackson voice for me. The insistence to say the word.

[@KyubiCloaks]

You dont know much about star wars if you think the jedi arent villains. Just because one side is bad doesnt make the other side good. But hey if you think commiting countless war crimes, taking children from their parents and raising them in your cult without ever allowing them to see their family again or fall in love, using sentient clones as troops where their only choices from birth is to spend their life training to serve and die for you or be killed for deserting doesnt make you a villain then hey...your opinion

[@Tdubs_23]

@@KyubiCloaksur a dummy

[@revolverocelot1380]

​@@KyubiCloaksIt doesn't actually. Everything you said is taken out of context or a lie. Jedi aren't perfect but my god they aren't evil either and almost every faction in the Star wars universe is a saint compared to the fucking sith lmao.

[@darrionj707]

Lol the stray "epstien didn't kill himself" fucking split my sides open

[@kennyhudson9201]

With the Raisins having the cheesiest grins, all quickly splashed onscreen. I don't know why but that was the funniest part. Had me cracking up. I specifically sought out a comment acknowledging that gold. Still laughing as I type this.

[@spacedoutwasteland9029]

As a star wars nerd this is 100% accurate to the lore

[@XXMatt0040XX]

“And you rage and scream and reach through the Force to crush the shadow who has destroyed you, but you are so far less now than what you were, you are more than half machine, you are like a painter gone blind, a composer gone deaf, you can remember where the power was but the power you can touch is only a memory, and so with all your world-destroying fury it is only droids around you that implode, and equipment, and the table on which you were strapped shatters, and in the end, you cannot touch the shadow. In the end you don't even want to. In the end, you do not even want to. In the end, the shadow is all you have left. Because the shadow understands you, the shadow forgives you, the shadow gathers you unto itself-And within your furnace heart, you burn in your own flame.”

[@jaketheberge1970]

It really sucks that Return Of The Raisens isn't cannon anymore thanks to Disney.

[@spiffygonzales5160]

​@@jaketheberge1970 Legends is the real canon friend. Dont let them stop your raisens

[@tr1n1ty501]

no its not, palpatine isnt a senator at this point

[@odairbonfim]

Wait until George Lucas changes his mind again.

[@deprivedfloozy]

The fact Anakin doesn't know what a dog is but then is fully aware of the concept of California is wild

[@rjamesyork]

This could double as an episode of How It Should Have Ended.

[@vicwolfrin]

“He has a skeletor laugh!” I burst out laughing at that point

[@jonsku6662]

"He's evil!" "In what way?" "In every conceivable way!" "Eyy made you say the line! Okay off the window you go."

[@thespanishinquisition4078]

You mean off the windu. *ba-dum-tsss* Seriously tho why are so many Star Wars names practically puns. Wat Tambor. Really. WAT TAMBOR OF THE TECHNO UNION!

[@CyanRooper]

🎶To the Winduuuuuuu To the wall🎶

[@Jedi-Dell]

This version of Mace is what would’ve happened if they told Samuel Jackson to just wing it

[@dannylopez5976]

Mace yelling at Anakin how fuckin evil Palpatine is, is absolutely hilarious.

[@mushmoor3804]

Anakin: "Master, Padme died! you promised that wouldn`t happen! I killed like a dozen children for you!" Palpatine: "There there, my young apprentice close your eyes.... good. Now turn around three times. Aaaaaaand somehow Padme returned." Anakin: " Amazing! Is that the legendary sith magic?" Palpatine: "Nah, just lazy writing"

[@smnio5619]

Lazy writing is sith magic

[@thesurvivorssanctuary6561]

You forgot that Vader clicking his heels three times, saying: "There's no place like home! There's no place like home! There's no cootchie as good as my wife's!" So I had to downvote you.

[@ralek592]

This got like 15 likes in the time between me starting to read it and then finishing it. I stake this reply here just so I naturally attract internet points just by being high on the chain.

[@baalfgames5318]

Anakin: Bring her back for real, you bastard! Palpatine: Well, the first thing we need to do is to get some sand from... Anakin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[@joshuakim5240]

@@smnio5619 Funnily enough, sith "magic" is just bullshitting about having powers they obviously don't, but seeing whose actually gullible enough to fall for their lazy writing.

[@1nva0er55]

1:02 "You're the CHOSEN ONE motherFUCKER!" That line screamed Sam L Jackson! Wish he said that himself 😂😂

[@elitely6748]

"your the chosen one, how much more respect can you ask for you need to sit between a Muppet and a conehead for that?!" This had me dying from laughter Marquiz did such a great job this collab is great! Been a while since we got a Star Wars parody from Solid, now we just need one where Anakin, Kenobi, Padme and Dooku argue for half a minute on Geonosis, *or Kenobi and Anakin have some banter on Mustafar*

[@simplebutpowerful]

Padme: *negotiates aggressively in lack of voice actress*

[@GodOfPlague]

​@@simplebutpowerfullol that would be great

[@rdw1731]

Or Anakin seeing Padme again after 10 years. And Obiwan standing there awkwardly

[@creeperplayz5742]

1:01 that delivery of that line makes me laugh every time and I love it

[@Aahil008]

jj really just said “fuck it” with this ending

[@ApetureTestSubject]

The strange irony is that apparently Palpatine does actually have some kind of immortality magic. Because, somehow Palpatine returned.

[@johnnygyro2295]

Palpatine learned essence transfer, aka body snatching. It's usually a risky technique as the person you try it on can resist and kick out your soul, which is how Darth Bane died. Palpatine found a workaround by transferring his soul into clones of himself. The difference is that in Legends/Dark Empire, the clones actually started younger and healthier, only degrading because his raw power was too much to handle and later due to sabotage. But in the Disney Timeline, the cloning tech either still had flaws, or the Force was actively sabatoging his cloning experiments, hence why he tried tricking Rey into letting him possess her.

[@XXMatt0040XX]

Yeah, but Dark Empire showed us that it... Was an echo of him. That is Sidious... But it also isn't. It's weird. Also he legit could have learned how to reanimate the dead... Not as zombies. But the idiot didn't...

[@XXMatt0040XX]

@@johnnygyro2295 Beautifully explained. I wanna say this though: They're kiinda just echos of Sidious, by all standards of measurement. At one point in Dark Empire Sidious is *begging* the prior Dark Lords for help. It's pretty fucking funny

[@johnnygyro2295]

@@XXMatt0040XX I remember that part. It was more or less: Palpatine: "Ancient Lords of the Sith! Reveal to me how to remain immortal and defeat the accursed Jedi once and for all!" Sith Ghosts: "If we knew that, we wouldn't be having this conversation." Palpatine: "...Shit you're right."

[@XXMatt0040XX]

​@@johnnygyro2295 "...Shit you're right" I busted out laughing.

[@Masupups]

"What's a dog?" Standout line 😂

[@TheUncivilizedNation]

It’s so genuine

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

Fr 😂💀 i guess if they had dogs in the Star Wars universe, it would unbalance the force.

[@Marvelfanatic3658]

Ok

[@Marvelfanatic3658]

​@@TheUncivilizedNationok

[@Marvelfanatic3658]

​@@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785ok

[@Klockwork13]

Laughing so much at 1:16. Seems like he slips into british accent

[@MSte21]

Man, Anakin's decision here always felt so freaking shallow. I like that it's subtly implied that part of the reason he still did is because he was curious about the California Raisins thing.

[@XXMatt0040XX]

Anakin's been using the Dark Side *the entire movie.* He bends The Force to his will. He *will* save everyone. *His will.* I realize how hard that is to understand. But you simply can't have a flashback to a child Anakin seeing a dead star and his trauma. "Everything dies Anakin Skywalker, even stars." Obi-Wan planted that seed of Vader unintentionally. Once Anakin finally realizes what he's done... Well... I can't write better than the man himself. “And you rage and scream and reach through the Force to crush the shadow who has destroyed you, but you are so far less now than what you were, you are more than half machine, you are like a painter gone blind, a composer gone deaf, you can remember where the power was but the power you can touch is only a memory, and so with all your world-destroying fury it is only droids around you that implode, and equipment, and the table on which you were strapped shatters, and in the end, you cannot touch the shadow. In the end you don't even want to. In the end, you do not even want to. In the end, the shadow is all you have left. Because the shadow understands you, the shadow forgives you, the shadow gathers you unto itself-And within your furnace heart, you burn in your own flame.”

[@nameredacted7622]

​@@XXMatt0040XXthat's nice but no well written paragraph can save the tragedy of bad storytelling that is Anakin Skywalker. Lucas screwed the characters story up so badly there is no redemption, to the point that it actually devalues the original trilogy and Vaders redemption. Anakin is portrayed not as a sympathetic man making hard choices, blinded by his emotions and desires but as a man child throwing a temper tantrum while being easily manipulated into betraying the people that saved him from slavery and cared for him most of his life. Anakin Skywalker is one of the worst written characters in the history of cinema.

[@MusicoftheDamned]

​@@nameredacted7622Yeah, movie Anakin is pretty terrible unfortunately, especially in that his "friendship" with Obi Wan that comes off even more shallow as the shallowness of most everything else in the prequel trilogy. This is because the prequel trilogy (and the Disney sequel trilogy) are plagued by "tell, don't show". Not saying that the originals were immune for that, especially as someone who doesn't even like _Star Wars_ outside of the two _Clone Wars_ animations, but they definitely had *far* less of that. Speaking of the (CGI) _Clone Wars_ animations, Anakin at least gets to be an actual character there who is still flawed but someone you could legitimately like even knowing his eventual downfall, which makes it worse than something that feels like just going through the motions in the dumbest way possible. That movie Anakin is so damned stilted and lifeless is pretty much all George Lucas's fault rather than Hayden Christensen's (or any of the other actors); ditto for the sequel trilogy's and J.J. Abrams's (and Rian Johnson's writing) than any of the actors, including Daisy Ridley (arguably *especially* her given how Rey is somehow even more poorly written but I digress).

[@danielkiran8174]

Mace Windu was a dick to Anakin before Anakin even became a padawan. On the other hand Palpatine was grooming Anakin for DECADES telling him about his great potential and inflating his ego. And at the end, Mace Windu didn't even follow the jedi code - which is not to kill a disarmed enemy. Even aside from saving Padme, Palpatine did way, way more to appeal to Anakin than Windu. It's like none of the people who say this shit even remember the movies.

[@PS1Fan1991]

​@danielkiran8174 People find it easy to criticise things that they don't like. I say this not to judge them, but I speak from experience.

[@SunlightGwyn]

2:12 You mean it was a pretty *esoteric* way to end it.

[@bricklingtonlego]

Anakin is like some emo kid who takes roleplays too seriously.

[@TheUncivilizedNation]

“What’s a dog?” - Anakin the Emo One

[@Two-Checks]

Yeah. What did he have for breakfast?

[@bricklingtonlego]

@@Two-Checks Padme.

[@XXMatt0040XX]

I realize, and agree, that it's kinda true here. But Hayden really did his best. This is Anakin's mindset, which we don't really get to hear. “The dark is generous and it is patient and it always wins - but in the heart of its strength lies its weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars.” His entire life, Anakin's been traumatized by a *dead star,* realizing that even stars can die. It's personified as The Dead Star Dragon in his mind. Throw all that together, and this quote makes sense. "And within your furnace heart, you burn in your own flame.”

[@Grivehn]

@@XXMatt0040XX The novelization is one of the best SW books out there for sure. Its just a shame almost none of whats concerning Anakin made it into the movie.

[@Maribro4]

This Palpatine has the same energy as the robot chicken Palpatine and I’ll for it

[@DarthRelkew]

Whoever you got for Anakin’s voice actor was pretty spot on

[@treykincy]

“What’s a dog?” and “Safety was off” absolutely took me out😂

[@HBpenman]

I love how Anakin knew the California raisins but was totally ignorant about dogs😂

[@Kayogin]

1:29 Why does this sound like something CalebCity would say

[@swagzagoon2596]

Fun fact: Palpatine intentionally made Vaders suit suck ass just to piss him off, so in this sense, not only is he getting back on Vader for the California Raisin bit, but he's also adding insult to injury by putting him in a suit of outdated life support tech.

[@ThomasTheThermonuclearBomb]

Well Vader is stronger when he's pissed off so that's why

[@charliefarmer4365]

@@ThomasTheThermonuclearBomband also to punish him for losing to Obi-Wan.

[@bitethewaxtadpole6371]

In Legends yes, in post-Disney canon no. In current canon Vader is free to tinker with and upgrade his suit as he wishes and even remove it completely, which wasn't possible in Legends. At one point he's even offered an entirely new improved suit designed from scratch, but turns it down due to being content enough with the one he has and the risk of the surgery it would take to change out his internal components.

[@theshlauf]

​@@bitethewaxtadpole6371 NGL I don't mind that change. Not that I have a problem with the Legends approach, but Anni was always a mechanically minded soul and I like the idea of him constantly tweaking his prosthetics.

[@joshuakim5240]

@@bitethewaxtadpole6371 I don't get why Disney didn't just state that Vader knows how shitty the suit is but chose to keep it that way as a form of self-inflicted penance and loathing that makes him stronger from the physical pain and self-inflicted spite, making the shittiness still his choice but also in line with old canon.

[@harrymillar4193]

I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if A). Mace just took him in alive B.) Mace took two seconds to talk to Anakin C). Mace stopped being a stubborn prick Everyone is quick to jump on Anakin for being gulable, but everyone forgets that the fatherless slave only had Obi-Wan and Palpatine as male role models; the rest of the council pawned him off.

[@theseven5359]

A. would turn ugly fast since the jedi had no evidente besides Palpatine told Anakin that he is a Sith lord and I dont think being a Sith is actualy a crime in the republic and on top of that he has most of the senate in his corner probably would result in a Jedi order with almost no friends in the gowerment or in the eye of the population a more justified order 66

[@harrymillar4193]

@@theseven5359 And killing the Chancellor of the Republic wouldn’t cause controversy? The testimony Anakin Skywalker, one of the most respected Jedi and the Chancellor’s personal representative on the Jedi Council, and Mace Windu, pretty much the second-in-command of the Jedi, would hold pretty substancial weight. As for evidence? 3 dead Jedi Masters and Palpatine’s lightsaber would be pretty damning.

[@Need_RnR]

​​@@theseven5359 I'm sure the security cameras were watching... and MACE was IN the whole damn thing while it was happening ... They'd pocket Palpy's SITH red lightsabre for questioning, and evidence ... and the fact that the **Chancellor** IS part of a Separatist *ENEMY* opposition and alliance ... ALSO KNOWN AS TREASON !!! LOL And the courts, are definitely going to take the side of A SITH lord ... who's allegiance is with an Enemy terrorist group ... that literally *EVERYONE* and their MOTHERS: were fighting ?!!!!???? ☠️☠️☠️ 👎👎👎

[@schwabmobwatches3405]

@@harrymillar4193 To be fair...Palpatine had full control of The Republic by that point. "He controls the Senate AND the Courts" and all. There would be no case that could get Palpatine imprisoned, executed or anything. Corruption at its finest, truly. But... assuming they could find an unbiased or least non-Palpy Judge, and a Jury who isn't in his pocket via bribery, intimidation, coercion, etc? Yeah it is damning evidence, and let's not forget, as its the *Chancellor's Office* there is *going to be cameras* of some sort. There is no part of his life that probably isn't documented 24/7 somehow. Granted, maybe he could have that camera evidence destroyed, or buried somewhere metaphorically/literally, but given Star Wars tech, it probably is more akin to Livestream Camera footage than tapes and such.

[@elysiankentarchy1531]

​@harrymillar4193 didn't Palpatine's lightsaber go out the window?

[@TheMC1102]

This is the prequel to "Darth Vader does an Oopsie" and you can't convince me otherwise. Also, I love how Anakin sounds like a stoned teenager for most of this skit.

[@StarkRaven59]

I mean, that is what Anakin sounded like for that part of the movie.

[@rogermwilcox]

0:14 : What's Anakin doing with a PURPLE light saber?!

[@siryoshi2004]

That's Windu holding his lightsaber out towards Anakin.

[@I_Dislike_YouTube_Handles]

Anakin just wanted to have access to those amazing raisins, truly didn’t deserve the fate he was dealt.

[@dylanoshea5065]

Massive props to Marquiz Moore for his killer Sam Jackson impression! Nails every f word.

[@kriminellerbusfahrer5991]

0:58 Mace windu is kinda spittin facts tho

[@XXMatt0040XX]

As big of a dick as he is... Mace *beat* Sidious, not enough people realize how OBSCENELY powerful he truly is. In reality, that awkward killing of the rest before Mace vs Sidious is *lightspeed.* A blur.

[@jessiehogue.]

@@XXMatt0040XX I don't know if this is 100% fact, though. Palpatine defeated Yoda, of all people, using the Force, which was Yoda's strong point. I think he was clearly the strongest when it comes to at least that, and likely close in terms of lightsaber combat skills (if not superior: he very much did kill three other skilled Jedi Masters WHILE fighting Mace too), because while he was more experienced, Mace did use a style specifically made to combat the Dark Side and use it against one's opponents. However, that's my point. If Sidious had a disadvantage against Windu in lightsaber combat at all (again, if he had any), why mostly use it during their fight until the very end when he was basically at his mercy, instead of using the Force the whole time to overpower him? Definitely not mercy, or a sense of fairness. My understanding is that Sidious knew that Anakin was on his way and he fully intended for his new apprentice to be the one dealing the killing blow, so he held back and choose to merely focus on lightsaber combat so that he would 'be defeated' before Anakin and manipulate him into killing one of his former masters, and get him to think there was no going back then. I think that yes, Windu is obscenely powerful, which is why he was able to keep up... but I think the Emperor is several steps beyond and just played him the whole time.

[@dondahighhh12]

@@jessiehogue. The confusion comes from George Lucas confirming Windu won and Sidious wasnt faking. Also they had to scrap alot of the fight because Sidious' actor didn't have enough time to train with lightsabers. On paper, your theory is better. Alot of the prequels could have used some improvement

[@jessiehogue.]

@@dondahighhh12 Yeah. If word of God says it, I guess Windu was more powerful and won, but... honestly, I don't like that, so in my unofficial "headcanon", I'll stick to my interpretation because it makes more sense to me than what was shown there. EDIT: I also think it lowers the value of the main villain if he can't even beat #2 of the old heroes organization who isn't even one of the Protagonists. In my little fabrication, if he was in control all along, he'd have played Mace as a puppet the whole time, making him even more in-........ SIDIOUS. Pun so much freaking intended.

[@buzzlightyearpfp7641]

0:28 im more upset that mace didnt respond like "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME" when anakin says palpatine straight up told him he was a sith and anakin did nothing

[@puncheanman]

He may be an evil wizard, but at least he understands the silly. I know who I would side with

[@XXMatt0040XX]

Dude does have a sick sense of humor. It's actually really fucking funny. Random Mandalorians: Who are yo-- *choking.* Sidious is just walking past them... And then goes on the RAGDOLL Maul.

[@JaharNarishma]

This one was great! There were jokes of varying kinds, the Windu accent was better than expected and all characters had very distinct personalities. Plain, good skit.

[@austinwakanda9310]

Anakin: "HE MUST STAND TRIAL!" Mace: "Just as Dooku did?" Anakin: "..."

[@smithblack5945]

​@thezman9522Ah-mazin

[@ShawndaPrawn]

Anakin: he must stand trial! Mace: like Dooku? Anakin: like Ashoka?! Mace: …touché.

[@lotusinn3]

@@ShawndaPrawnI mean, she did stand trial lol

[@prestonjones1653]

​@@lotusinn3 More of a sentencing hearing.

[@DrsJacksonn]

"The man is shooting *lighting* out of his hands! Is it really that hard to see how evil this man is?"

[@APAMVs]

2:19 The placement of the outro audio, and the raisins positions, with the tagline is just magnificent 😂

[@akhsanzadi8936]

The ad sounds like interdimensional TV cable from Rick n Morty

[@billiebrown4539]

The dog thing sent me back years to when I read the old novel version of a new hope, and they do actually mention a dog in there, and I was like..."There are dogs in star wars???"

[@Sanbi35]

In wookiepedia they have a page dedicated to breasts.

[@zappy2000]

​@@Sanbi35Do you mean "beasts"?😅

[@Sanbi35]

@@zappy2000 no. Breasts. With a picture of Aalya Secura’s breast as an example.

[@s.nifrum4580]

Reminds me of when obiwam was telling Luke that “even a duck needs to learn how to swim” and Luke was like “what’s a duck?”

[@Sanbi35]

@@s.nifrum4580 well I don’t expect many ducks on a desert planet.

[@roosebold8575]

"You're the mf chosen one what more can you ask for"😂😂😂 that line was a perfect delivery

[@ErisEntropy]

I love how meta you get now. "You can see the punchline coming a mile away" lol so true but now it's funnier

[@internationalfailure9997]

"YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE WHAT? LIVING?" is gold.

[@TemplarLux]

All that buildup for a f**king “Epstein didn’t kill himself” punchline. This is why I’m subscribed to solid jj.

[@DarthDuck404]

Gotta admit I busted out laughing at the shot of the Cali raisins with the epstein caption.

[@Grizz.EditzYT]

You need to sit between a muppet and a conehead has me wheezing

[@Sir_Al03]

So sad I don't see more people commenting on this 🥲

[@Uncle-Jay]

I remember the Californian Raisins. I was born in the late 80s, a magical time where you had one foot in the 80s and another in the 90s. I recall them being pretty popular for awhile, being in commercials, having their own weird Christmas special, a weird cartoon I never watched. My Sister had these stuffed Californian Raisins that had these weird flexible arms that were nothing more than wires with some fabric over them. It was weird because one moment they were popular and then the next they just vanished.

[@PelicanBay-b6y]

That end caught me off guard

[@BaldorfBreakdowns]

"What's a dog?" Holy shit, that caught me off guard... and the delivery was just gold!

[@robertsuarez8000]

Ok I wasn't expecting the Samuel L. Jackson impresionist to be so... *good* 10/10 would ask him to dub again.

[@b3ans4eva]

The Hayden Christensen was 11/10. Better than some of the animated takes.

[@XXMatt0040XX]

It gets better and better too. Idk if it's intentionally, but the more pissed and tired of Anakin he gets, the more Sam Jackson comes out

[@XXMatt0040XX]

@@b3ans4eva "Mind tricks? I don't need mind tricks..." That's Anakin's voice in my head.

[@maximilianobecerra3096]

Makes sense that he doesn't feel like living I mean somehow Palpatine returned

[@TheNautilusProject479]

0:23 that was a really good impression that came out of nowhere

[@Chaos_Vergil]

I love that Mace Windu actually talks like how Samuel L Jackson would if it wasn't for the OG script of the movie.

[@risel56]

_"What's a California?"_ - Darth Vader, probably

[@yadig.]

"You're the chosen one motherfucker" is prolly the best argument against Anakin's anger toward not being made Master

[@InSanic13]

Well, that and the fact that Anakin was an awful Jedi.

[@ttgb2990]

@@InSanic13I’m not a Star Wars guy, but wasn’t he meant to be like, one of the GOAT Jedis?

[@masternoob9673]

Yeah, except that the council never really treated him as important. Just another general among their ranks

[@InSanic13]

@@ttgb2990 He was very powerful and very skilled in combat; however, as Yoda says, "Wars not make one great!". Being a great Jedi is about following the philosophy of the Order, being in control of your emotions, wisdom, etc.: Anakin fell quite short on those metrics, and was thus a bad Jedi.

[@elysiankentarchy1531]

Personally, I think him getting angry over the council declining to make a 22-year-old, who they are being strong armed into accepting on the council, a master is just another piece of evidence on how unworthy he is of the rank. Especially when a precedent for knights joining the council as knights and not being auto given the rank of master (Ki-Adi Mundi) is in the room with him.

[@robertcortez4956]

“You wanna side with me… or the long lost member of the California Raisins?” That was hilarious.

[@dannylopez5976]

"He's Evil! He's fuckin Evil!"

[@RurouniiJay]

This whole thing is about as serious and believable as the actual scene. Also the epstein toss in was amazing lmao

[@leafsoto351]

I love the honesty in the "I don't know how to sell this to you"

[@swashhustler1326]

"What's a dog?" underrated joke I'm dying LMAO

[@silasgreaves6134]

Holy balls I actually did a legit spit take when palpatine cackled “who’s the raisin now?” I almost choked 😭🤣

[@BlkHat]

1:51 best plot twist since m night shyamalan

[@TheNemesis432]

0:37 I mean Palpatine came back in EU and Disney's sequels, so he wasn't bullshitting Anakin about that part. He was sinoly bullshiting about giving a flying fuck about Padme.

[@Swayam_improvement]

What sequels? There was no sequel.

[@noneofyourbuisness1679]

Windu be spittin' facts though. Like, how could you make the obviously evil guy and eviler? Framed photos of himself drowning kittens in his office?

[@DarthFhenix55]

The amount of punchlines in this video is amazing.

[@tomassmith1519]

I always imagined Windu aksing why he "needs him" lol

[@johnny718bravo]

This video was everything. Everything.

[@lordbuss]

1:34 And the reason most of his life was terrible.

[@PredatorH2O]

Forgot that little grey area of having him slaughter children(admitedly for the second time).

[@lisboah]

The real question is: How does Mace Windu, a guy from another galaxy, knows about the California Raisins?!

[@rykemapo]

He heard it through the grapevine.

[@gradyhazlett3778]

Whenever he does a ad my brain gets overstimulated with every voice he’s ever done and my brain shuts down from all the characters

[@ttgb2990]

Ikr? I can hear Fred, Flash, Superman, Spider-Man, and Hawkman at the same time at least

[@MegaDrain]

All jokes aside, that is a pretty good Hayden impression.

[@ghostchannel4766]

"Who am I kidding? You can see the punchline a mile away." 😂

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

I laughed so damn hard at "My B. Safety was off"

[@bradbowers4414]

The safety was off.......

[@ayanleman]

Anakins tired confusion asking what a dog is has made my entire life

[@bartudundar3193]

This is one of your better videos honestly. Great job.

[@mr.demonetization4682]

*Mace: Ever heard of Force healing?* *Anakin:Excuse me* *Palpatine: Hey no disney bullshit here*

[@acgeewhiz]

I mean, technically that’s been around in games and such since well before Disney.

[@CapnWatson]

Force healing is literally what Palpatine was talking about. How Vader lived when Padme died

[@procow2274]

That's been around a lot longer than Darth mickey

[@Lacucarachadefuego]

Force Healing has literally always been a Force Power

[@FinallyAlone]

Yeah I'm gonna have to side with the other comments here force healing was a thing before Disney got there grubby white gloved hands on star wars.

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

I have absolutely no idea what to make of this skit. I feel like I should have a stronger reaction given who I am but frankly, I am just completely lost.

[@DirtyBobBojangles]

"Your the chosen one, mf!"😂😂

[@HerbCoswellBornAgain]

Mace Windu acts more like Sam Jackson then the actual movie.

[@artoodiitoo]

2:04 Raisin Of Skywalker

[@Ljelearthre]

Anakin's mental health crumbling to where he kills a superior for his secret wife, does not say Palpatine is "evil", it means Anakin smoked too much drugs to believe the msytic bullshit Palpatine gave him before Anakin killed Mace Windu. I mean after Anakin went to the dark side after that murder Palpatine pretty much said, "Oops, only Plagieus had that secret, I don't have it. This was a recruitment tactic. But hey, since we are on the same side, nothing is impossible, eh? Now go kill children for me." Yeah, Anakin smoked a loooooot.

[@jotheunissen9274]

"What's a dog?" These are the real questions

[@runemanqwe]

"What's a dog" but also knows what the California raisins are lol

[@Vihh_is_Violent]

I love how Mace Windu is straight up knowing that the punchline is foreseeable and that makes me respect him so much more

[@kirbyofthestarsfan]

2:39 Interdimensional Cable bit