Skeleton Man is an Awful Movie for Unattractive People

[@AJ-rz1zw]

"If it hadn't been for Cotton Mouth Joe, I would've been sober a long time ago; why did the goblin turn on the stove, where did you get your costume Cotton Mouth Joe." This is comedic gold.

[@elizabeth5561]

8:16

[@burtemis1]

It always comes back to the goblin and the stove.

[@dumbass9116]

yes i also watched the video. good job noticing the video in the video

[@darlingditzypinkfloweremoji]

This made me laugh because of how absurd it is!

[@jamesburchill7522]

The long awaited return of the Goblin pun. Well done, sir.

[@ChallengeIdeas]

@@wickedwhispers595 Well, he's a possum. He finds garbage.

[@BrotherRed53]

More of a gag rather than a pun, Lad lol

[@Dr._Heinz_Doofenshmirtz]

@@wickedwhispers595 you clearly dont get the joke

[@mikeydubbs8565]

Pun?

[@JohnQ5]

And extra points for subtly slipping it into a catchy rhyme.

[@PossumReviews]

Shout out to new $10 Patron *Dalton Helms.* Your name didn't make it into the video because I uploaded it several days before it was published and you weren't a Patron yet. Support me on Patreon: www.patreon.com/DrShaym Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/ReviewsPossum Submit your fan art: facebook.com/DrShaym

[@GreasusGoldtooth]

"Hi I'm a possum and I find garbage." Words cannot express how happy hearing this phrase makes me.

[@MmaSmarty87]

yeah I forgot this channel existed for a few months

[@blue3094]

casually animates a skeleton to say he doesn't feel like animating it, fucking legend

[@DivingSuperDeep]

He draw it, he didn't animate it

[@Quickdrawingartist]

Hope he thrashed it for that stupid pun.

[@Nirmiti.]

The skeleton wasn't moving though. The other one was stock footage.

[@warcrimeconnoisseur5238]

@@Nirmiti. Wdym? The skeleton moved up and down

[@raymxslappedyall1891]

why'd skeleton have penny loafers?

[@BrotherRed53]

"If it hadn't been for Cotton Mouth Joe, I would've been sober long time ago. Why did the Goblin turn on the stove? Where'd ya get your costume, Cotton Mouth Joe?" Absolute perfection👌

[@SewerTapes]

It's easy to dismiss Skeleton Man's shortcomings as a matter of low budget. . . until you realize its budget was double that of The Raid.

[@613harbinger316]

Wow. Talk about a testament to the power of talent and motivation.

[@SewerTapes]

@@613harbinger316 Right? I wonder if maybe Skeleton Man was some kind of money laundering scheme or tax fraud.

[@Naidisbus]

I cannot help myself but laugh at the goblin and his stove based antics every time they're brought up.

[@Rogue.Rainbow]

If it hadn’t been for cotton mouth joe, i’d been sober long time ago, why did the goblin turn on the stove? where did you get your costume cotton mouth joe.

[@soggysoup2087]

I must have missed it. Whats everyone on about, regarding the goblin turning on the stove?

[@RTheren]

@@soggysoup2087 Check out Possum's review of Goblin movie, then you'll understand ;)

[@JordanKane97]

It’s from a movie Possum reviewed named Goblin. There’s a part where the goblin randomly turns on the stove and nothing else

[@metachrist723]

​@@JordanKane97It was to heat up the fire poker he shoved up the guys ass

[@ryan8913]

2 uploads in a month is amazing

[@wakybee]

we are truly blesses

[@CursedMusicMachine]

I know maybe he’s plotting something

[@bipolarpanda15]

Hes almost uploaded as frequently as jontron

[@brother_alan6480]

To this day possum wakes up at night with cold sweat on his forehead screaming "why did the goblin turn on the stove ? ".

[@elizabeth5561]

The backstory could've been a ritual that involved a human sacrifice to summon something, but that only cursed or possessed the guy by a demon. (Possibly an unwilling sacrifice) He could've been burned to death for the ritual, which would explain why he's a skeleton, and the demon could be fueled by the guys hatred, so he kills the tribe and anyone who goes into the woods. (Probably thinking anyone going in is another tribe member looking to sacrifice other people) I came up with this in under 5 minutes.

[@gamewizardthesecond]

Took me 5 seconds to think the same. Or just throw away the entire Indian ritual thing if your only costume is a guy that looks like a grim reaper wannabe

[@kimsleep4111]

There is a story to this???

[@AB-ln2py]

Well you know, the backstory could have been anything they put any effort in :D but they didnt...

[@ughughhguhguhughughgugh8521]

DONT WORK HARDER THAN THE WRITERS NOW

[@ughughhguhguhughughgugh8521]

SRY CAPS

[@darkage5]

I was all about to talk about how broke Michael Rooker must have been to do this movie. But, you just had to throw in "why did the Goblin turn on the stove?" In the Cotton Mouth Joe song!!! I am at work laughing my ass off!!!

[@Austroid]

"Was it an excuse for the movie to do racism? Because you don't need an excuse for tha--" BRUH 😂😭

[@DrDolan2000]

You don't? I didn't know that

[@Quickdrawingartist]

You actually don't. Doesn't mean you could.

[@feralcyborggaming1531]

​@@Quickdrawingartist what's stopping you?

[@AmazingKevinWClark]

The reason why that flare scene doesn't work is because it's shot all wrong. It has no anticipation in it. You could have either had a noise in the background and the worker goes of to investigate in the pitch dark using just the light of the flare to look around, this would be shot close up to the worker limiting the field of view. When you do that it's far more effective because the camera is playing on two things, clasaphobia and not being able to see danger until its right upon you. Or you could have still have the worker throw it into the darkness and still doesn't see anything. He goes to take a step in order to investigate further and the women pleads him not to go, not to leave her alone there but he heads over to where the flair fell. He heads to the edge of the point where the light of the flare is barely illuminating the room and jump scare or you have him turn his back and out of the darkness we see a hint of the murderer. He makes it back to the women explaining he didn't find anything and we save his death for another time in the next few minutes. I would say they never tested that scene properly and the lighting isn't effective enough for starters.

[@CabezasDePescado]

I love how you put more effort in writing this that the director in thinking the scene

[@ArgonYouTube]

Bruh Michael Rooker is in this “movie”. No wonder Merle is so experienced in slaughtering walkers, he’s dealt with this kind of thing before.

[@NefariousKoel]

Rooker was really slumming it in this one. Hope a lot of that 2 million budget ended up in his pocket.

[@MisterMelange]

@@NefariousKoel "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer" was a long time ago and "Guardians of the Galaxy" was still 12 years away. It happens to a lot of actors, sadly.

[@vicvega3614]

@@MisterMelange dam havent heard Henry portrait of a serial killer in years, Fuck the Bears

[@Rebrn-bk5em]

the stuff a working actor must do to make rent 😮‍💨

[@r.j.penfold]

The Cottonmouth Joe song actually made me laugh, thanks

[@KypForPresident]

Fun Fact: Casper sounds exactly like the german Word Kasper, wich means Clown or Fool.

[@sarlaccstapeworm990]

"The woods are free to film in..." That $hit got me man!!😂🤣🤣😭

[@jeffgray7922]

This was probably the funniest video I've seen from you. The "Cotton-eye Joe" song parody killed me.

[@FischerFilmStudio]

Who wrote the name “Cotton Mouth Joe” and thought: “Aw yes! That’s a scary name!”?!?

[@VelkanAngels]

@Dr. Bizarre - Undoubtedly, but adding the name of something dangerous doesn't make something else scary-sounding xP. As you said, it's a silly name regardless. Might as well have called him Black Mamba Greg, Dart Frog Fred or Hippo Humphrey (I know hippos don't typically inspire fear in people who don't live near any but they should!)

[@CommanderViviax]

It's from a song of the same name.. It goes, Were did you come from, were did you go! Were did you come from Cotton Mouth Joe. They probably thought it was funny.

[@VelkanAngels]

@@CommanderViviax - It's Cotton Eye Joe, lol

[@PongoXBongo]

IDK man, you ever had a case of cotton mouth? That shit is scary(ily unpleasant).

[@williek08472]

To be fair, cottonmouths are venomous vipers, so it would be kinda scary without the Joe at the end

[@Notworthy85]

Possum is really spoiling us for halloween. 🎃

[@LemonsRfun]

A treat for sure !

[@Adamant_Consternation]

God I hope he does Skinned Deep!

[@arnoldschwarzenschnitzel6248]

Fun game to play when watching any Possum review: take a shot every time he mentions the characters “walking around some more”

[@AnimateDave]

You'd be dead of alcohol poisoning within 20 minutes. Then again, considering the quality of these "movies", that might be for the best.

[@ieatpeopleand]

I don't feel like drowning. lol

[@burtemis1]

Or every time he says “averyone”

[@cedricosborne442]

16:41 "I'm in so much PAIN" ...not as much pain as I'm in from hearing that line delivery

[@rhettmaxwell4860]

You and me both 😂

[@bluelynxworld4748]

In our time of need. . . He has returned.

[@Odious_One]

The Oral Shakespeare joke was great. I'm sure even after your explanation there A LOT of people who had to google themselves to get it. Of course they're the same ones who are still trying to figure out why the goblin turned on the stove.

[@igodreamer7096]

I never laughed so much with a "horror movie". What true classic of cinema! HAHAHAHA

[@SkorpTS]

I'm so glad there's more Possum reviews coming out this month! The guy who plays Leary in this movie looked really familiar to me, so I looked it up. It's Michael Rooker, who played Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy. Judging by the information I can find online, he hadn't really been in many, if any good movies at this point in his career...

[@DavidsSanity]

True

[@JAWS_2K]

Walking dead was his best imo

[@LordAini]

He really had though, he was in Tombstone, Mississippi Burning, and he was amazing in Henry: Portrait of a serial killer.

[@sHuRuLuNi]

He was in TV Shows (Stargate).

[@jerrymcsendee]

Mallrats! He got e coli from being stink palmed by "My Name is Earl" and his daughter, Shannon Doherty, was anally raped by Ben Affleck in his pre-Daredevil, pre-Batman comic book character Buttman.

[@karanaher5030]

I love how this channel always introduce me to movies I've never heard about.

[@snakeeater3458]

I'm watching "garbage" while on my way to class. just love this channel sm. Keep up the wonderful work possum 🖤

[@pretikewl76]

Oh dear God, ANOTHER possum vid!! (seriously, never stop doing this. these vids make me beyond happy)

[@spectator3220]

Fun fact: This movie has the same budget as Sharknado How does Sharknado look better then this movie?

[@TheRedneckPreppy]

I'm surprised you didn't mention that the captain was played by Michael Rooker!

[@ZeroTheHunter]

I love that the possum is willing to sacrifice his braincells in order to make us laugh and make money of it but i shall ask: why the goblin turned on the stove?

[@ergbudster3333]

Easy. To get to the other side.

[@user-zq9qx2ny8o]

Possum- love the reviews and I'm glad you did Skeleton Man- a friend and I watched it last year and died of laughter. One thing you missed which makes me think they messed up the ending and couldn't reshoot- the main character (Michael Rooker) runs out of the exit of the building at the end. But when they show the explosion of the chemical plant you see a guy jump from the roof to a hanging ladder of a helicopter. You can barely see it at the end of your video but look closely and you'll see the guy hanging on the rope ladder of the helicopter. A few seconds prior you actually see him jump off the building and grab the ladder as the helicopter hovers above the chemical plant - I assume this was the original ending - not him running out the side door.

[@stephaniejenkins7822]

I love how the skeleton is just like "trick or treat" and the possum is just like "no 😤" then slams the door in the skeletons face 😂 What a wonderful video.

[@fellipedasilva99]

“Skeleton Man” seems like they haphazardly chose the name of the movie after they finished production and just before publication.

[@ASaltyGhost]

I am shocked a movie called Skeleton Man is taking itself seriously.

[@gunnerroo6514]

It's good to see you making content more often because I need your nihilistic movie reviews. 😂

[@ironicugandan5826]

I like to imagine every time these people gor royalties they do spit takes cause they can't believe people bought it.

[@juliaturk7054]

Possum's comedy has always been pretty spot on, how has he improved so much still? You're really talented man, keep it up!

[@EdwardENigma-cg3kt]

You should interview the person who made goblin. Make up a bunch of questions to feign interest. Yet, the secret purpose of the interview will be to find out why the goblin turned on the stove.

[@gooseegg617]

Is the director even still alive?

[@rotterdammer5243]

That Cotton-Eye Joe song was fucking hilarious! ...why did the Goblin turn on the stove, HAHAHA!

[@sirloin869]

"Where did you come from? Where did you go!" Best. Tagline. EVAR! ...

[@TheWarmotor]

New Possum video! Awesome. It always kills me when you've got a supposed military force with a bunch of random weapons. I saw an HK G3A4, an FN FAL, a couple of AR15s, two types of MP5, and two AKMs. I know that Delta can take whatever loadout they want, but why would you have 60 year old russian hardware on the chopper and give your designated marksman cold war era european rifles? It makes NO sense.

[@jackalope3374]

It feels like the filmmakers wanted to make a "Predator" ripoff, but blew most of their budget on hookers and cocaine, and only had enough money left for a cheap costume from Party City.

[@dombom2578]

Damn possum got a new phone just to not use it

[@elliottblackburn4331]

Cottonmouth joe’s horse: 👴🏾👴🏿 👴🏾👴🏿 👴🏾👴🏿 👴🏾👴🏿 👴🏾👴🏿 👴🏾👴🏿 👴🏾👴🏿

[@mugen9335]

So Cottonmouth Joe was really Neil Breen all along. What a plot twist!

[@trevormouse6422]

Lol "Why'd the goblin turn on the stove?"returns briefly

[@thatguywholikesspoders1333]

0:03 Possum house reveal. Add that to the lore

[@mikeymike8705]

Genius way to inject the good Ol goblin joke lol. Well done, possum. Well done. Always a good day when we are blessed with a review.

[@tjyork7928]

I love the continuing why did the goblin turn on the stove bit. Also, the cottonmouth joe song was great!

[@XmortoxX1990]

babe wake up, Possum uploaded 2 videos in the same month

[@samuelherrera2318]

4:29 "guess they fucked up...kinda like my dad when he didn't pull out lol😂

[@13JackDiamond]

I must be super attractive because I've never even heard of this movie despite watching so many of those syfy original movies. Also could I recommend Project Viper? Pretty good (or really bad) childhood classic for me. Also you got me good with the cotton mouth joe song bit. You get better with your comedy each video.

[@SheolAbaddonus666]

I looked up other movies that came out in 2004, and they all had a budget of around $40-80 million. But this is a "horror" movie. Halloween had a budget of nearly $400,000, and Friday the 13th Part 1 was around $600,000. Even with inflation 'Skeleton Man' probably spent nearly twice as much but it underperformed, despite having 21st century technology.

[@ThieflyChap]

I can only imagine what that skeleton is going to experience after that terrible joke at the end.

[@rockbottom2822]

The plot sounds like the Predator came to Sleepy Hollow and someone got raped.

[@LookingGlass69]

As child broke his arm and then was exposed to X rays. The x rays revealed he was part man, part skeleton.

[@frogman9989]

Best part of this movie was Possums "why did the Goblin turn on the stove" insert song. By far!

[@reygonzalez4719]

man possum is working extra hard there's two uploads in one month

[@TheRagnarokknight]

Been playing the skeleton bit on a loop for the past 30 minutes. Dammit, I can't stop laughing. Its hilarious.

[@Mr.BusterHighman]

14:29 They literally just used the Nazgul sound from Lord of the Rings. 😂

[@Predator20357]

The best thing I can say is that some the kills seem nice But that’s like saying a robber that robbed you, at least gave you a root beer to enjoy.

[@o_ver2.094]

Another video already? Thank you possum 🙏

[@JH-uh9zc]

Michael Rooker cares not about the quality of movies he's in. You can tell he just loves being in them, most likely at low pay. The man is a legend.

[@Rebrn-bk5em]

do what you love and you will never work a day in your life as the saying goes

[@WolfHreda]

I'd be willing to bet that the majority of that $2 million went to paying Casper Van Dien and Michael Rooker. They absolutely had to get someone with any sort of name recognition to have any hope of breaking even on this turd.

[@soggysoup2087]

2 movies in a row with starship trooper guy. It's alright Possum. We like you for who you are.

[@joebiologyuni]

It sounded like Cottonmouth Joe was imitating Neal Breen's voice. 😅

[@chrisbg99]

I always wonder how name actors end up in this low budget junk films. Van Diem wasn't much of a name at that point but still a name and Michael Rooker (Leary) had a really good career up to this point and still does.

[@ProfessorHubertFarnsworth]

So I definitely know I saw this, and I had blocked it out of my memory for years....and now it's back thanks to good old Possum! Much obliged.

[@fsfs555]

The $2M budget probably went mostly to the helicopter, because it clearly didn't go to production, writing, or casting. I mean, they could get What's-her-face and So-and-so, but apparently didn't have enough to get Cheerleader or The Ugly One onboard so had to settle for Starship Troopers guy and Yondu instead.

[@saneadam3512]

Thank you Mister Doctor Possum. Your reviews bring joy to many!

[@BigAlGamingOne]

Your videos always brings a smile to my face, they're great! When (if ever) will you be uploading on your other channel? Miss seeing your day to day, I remember the possum that was in your home lol, actually was that why you picked a possum as your character for this channel?

[@jonbourgoin182]

Can you please link me to his other channel? I didn't know he had one and he doesn't link to it.

[@Scrinwaipwr]

The Skeleton Man looks like Ghostface from Scream mixed with Skeletor from the live action He-Man movie.

[@LookAtEachOther]

2 vids in one week... That's a treat.

[@Glory2Snowstar]

I like skeletons, I even have one myself One day I will have another

[@ElClaudioBasado]

Plebian of skeletons, I have 30 and another one today.

[@killereye]

15:06 Mood Ring Horse...I legit spat my coffee out on that joke! Good one! XD

[@manwithnoname3024]

Michael Rooker too? Holy shit.

[@nightmarefanatic1819]

I actually watched this movie last year and remember literally nothing, not a damn thing about it. It was so boring, I only know I wanted to watch it because it had Michael Rooker in it.

[@AspiringDevil]

So glad to see your uploading again. I love your humor & this probably the hardest I've laughed all week. I know it's unlikely but I hope one day we can force the Director of Goblin to tell us why did the Goblin turn on the stove?

[@sirclueless199]

The review has a better ending then the actual movie

[@kerri-lynndell5084]

i wanna see those other snakeman, sharkman and mosquito man

[@BillytheTeslaGod]

I remember seeing a bit of this movie when I was very young, and I vaguely remembered it. That is until you brought it up, and now the memories are flooding back in.

[@simonsimons1252]

Multiple spooky Possum reviews? The best Halloween.

[@PureSniperWolf]

The sass about cobbling together a nuclear reactor with old smoke detectors was both funny and factual. Look up The Atomic Boy Scout some time. Real spooky treat. Happy Halloween.

[@PatrickReichelReptileCynrik]

I'm absolutely certain that almost all the money went to Casper van Dien (aka Rico), Michael Rooker (aka Yondu) and the other actors such as Robert Miano or Nils Allen Stewart. It's amazing that so many well known actors can be found in ONE huge garbage movie... well, I suppose money is still money! ^^

[@secondcoming9789]

Anyone else hoping he’ll review the other movies in that DVD collection?

[@BasedToastnt]

So glad we got 2 possum reviews videos in a month. Been gone for months

[@PS-hv7on]

I thought I was the only person to ever see this movie. So glad to find out I didn't suffer alone.

[@sowder]

Scary Mambo is now the name of my band. Thanks.

[@Phantomlaxus1]

8:15 in case anyone forgot the funny cotton mouth joe song lol 😂😂

[@CertifiedNEETClassic]

"Undercover Search & Rescue" Translation: "The entire budget went to Casper Van Dien and horse rentals, sort it out yourselves."

[@tvbnine793]

Of course Possum uploads when I can't get any sleep

[@othertalk3313]

That skeleton just did a MeToo at the end. Deadass.

[@judsongaiden9878]

How'd they get Michael Rooker in this?! Did they blackmail him into it like Uwe Boll would? Casper Van Dien has a cool Doomguy-esque look to him. He could have been in higher-quality movies. Maybe he needed a better agent. 12:23 / 17:50 Calling it right now. The villain is philosophically like some sort of Captain Planet extreme environmentalist or whatnot. 14:47 Doesn't he have a knife? And why is he wearing a beanie in the summertime? 15:01 The gun in that random insert looks like an MP5K. Did they expect us to not notice that none of them was using that? Way to in insult the audience, jerkweeds. Guess they figured an MP5K was close enough to an MP5A3 (or HK94 playing the role of an MP5A3). 18:57 Calling right now. He leaves the stock folded. 19:00 Called it.

[@snakehandler87]

"Oh if hadn't been for Cotton Mouth Joe, I'd been sober long time ago, why did the goblin turn on the stove? Where'd you get your costume Cotton Mouth Joe?"

[@Kroggnagch]

Holy fuck that’s Yondu! My my, he sure was low down there in the B movies before The Walking Dead and The Guardians of The Galaxy. That’s cool.

[@andregon4366]

That's very nice an all but: Why did the goblin turn on the stove? 8:16 Holy shit, it's as if I'm a psychic!

[@donvaeth4462]

Two possum reviews in 1 month 👀