Twilight Breaking Dawn - Cosmonaut Picture Show

[@dacdan423]

"YOU NICKNAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!" Damn someone wrote that.

[@notkevindurant8814]

Its in the book (dont ask how I know) so blame the author

[@annamariejones2837]

I died when I read that line in the book 😭

[@adub92199]

They were serious when they wrote that too. “This will send emotion through the crowd”

[@midnighthope7752]

Idk about you but if my name was that bullshit I'd rather be the Loch Ness monster

[@MistahFox]

Best damn line in the movie.

[@jamesjamozo6964]

Charlie has surprisingly little screentime for being the main character.

[@PittsburghSonido]

THIS DAMN BEAR

[@brieucgalaxy6817]

lmao

[@omarkarim2280]

“These bear murders are really starting to mess with my mood.”

[@rasm0s]

As Marcus says: “less is more”

[@pepper_garcia8248]

It’s an anthology movie

[@LukePimentel]

I remember watching twilight in the theater back in the day and their was one guy cracking up two seats away from me and everyone was getting pissed off but now I realize this man was ahead of his time

[@immortaltoaistisascamdonot4938]

That.... Sounds wonderful

[@PictureGame]

The man saw the future

[@FEBRIZIOtv]

or he was just a 30 year old dude who had nothing better to do. this movie looks ridiculous to anyone over 21

[@garrettcooper8348]

FEBRIZIOtv this should look ridiculous to anyone below the age of 13 and above the age of 15

[@mowganashwey]

I saw the first film in high school, still loving the books, but laughed through the movie. A small part of me knew what was true lol

[@Elbaphomet71]

Before you ask: yes, brazillians can feel Demon's babies, we have a training about this in highschool. And no, we can't undestand Pattinson's portuguese.

[@VydaCrystal]

Hahahahaha, verdade! Faz parte do kit Brazil: Chinelo Havaianas, Samba, Feijoada e Sensor de bebês capetas, hahahaha!

[@Elbaphomet71]

@@VydaCrystal e lanterninha reserva, para dar pro ladrão e não levar porrada nem perder o celular.

[@flibbettyjibbetts6766]

I don’t speak Portuguese but I do speak Spanish and I can vaguely understand what you’re saying

[@flibbettyjibbetts6766]

@Cthulhu All-Spark Hey that’s illegal

[@jamiekamihachi3135]

Yes like all us Asians go to the special classes to teach us all martial arts and how to be a wise mystic guru.

[@berrypop33]

Michael Sheen is the only actor who realised what film he was in.

[@stefanniko6686]

lmao for real i swear 33:12 is just him reacting to the dialogue and they kept it in

[@sJonah1]

Best werewolf in underworld and vampire in these shitty movies

[@OptimusDelta]

@@sJonah1 yeah.he was really cool as lucian in Underworld.such a shame they killed him off so early in the movie series.it could have been so much better

[@aberrantcow]

Micheal Sheen is the best!

[@Sleeper800]

@@OptimusDelta At least he got his own prequel film. Even if it wasn't great.

[@GabrielV.]

The little kid being yeeted at the fire killed me, it really did.

[@Tarumarugan]

Man lmao 😂😂😂😂 28:34

[@Royal__Kitsune]

*Did you Die?* *Sadly, yes...but I lived*

[@virusoutbreak4989]

It killed him too..

[@liviousgameplay1755]

No Contest!

[@status-prune7202]

FINISH HIM

[@ImfernusRizen]

"She's not white, so she knows about witchcraft and magic-" The sad part about this is how accurate this is

[@Master10k2]

I know. I happens so often in Hollywood movies, but I haven't seen the reverse in Nollywood ones. Dunno about Bollywood though.

[@Xehanort10]

I think the trope for it is called Magical Negro or something. Where a non white character becomes a wise mentor figure who somehow knows everything about everything.

[@coatimundi69]

@@Xehanort10 that ones specifically for black characters (hence the negro)!! its magical [insert race] usually 😭

[@randallflagg3700]

@@coatimundi69 - There are so many of them in (my beloved) Stephen King books. Mother Abigail from "The Stand" (can't believe Ruby Dee passed away already 6 years ago...), John Coffey from "The Green Mile", Dick Halloran from "The Shining", Speedy Parker from "The Talisman" (an amazing book that ties directly to The Dark Tower, a tad underrated IMHO) ... in "Shawshanks redemption", they even race-lifted Red so he could asceng into the magical realm and be played by Morgan "God" Freeman. Oh shit, I just realized that in that terrible Dark Tower movie (I try to forget it so much), he again race-lifted Roland so Idris Elba, who looks pretty darn wise, could play him. Well thank God this shit movie tanked, because Roland being black would have had some serious consequences once Susannah and Odetta would have joined his ka-tet ^^

[@dias8726]

Are y’all talking about jibreezy magic? I’m done

[@Ssturns19]

"My son is so cringe" literally the funniest thing I've ever heard and i don't even know why

[@warspitehms5334]

@Booper DooperYeah. "your son is too cringe to live" is the best

[@goneforever949]

Lol

[@pl9nningforburial]

1:15

[@roylle6346]

I shat laughing 😭

[@edwarddorey4480]

Zoomers will be saying this regularly in the future on god.

[@martinwathen3807]

"You nicknamed my daughter after the loch ness monster?!" Is truly one of cinema's most thought provoking and beautiful pieces of dialogue.

[@Xehanort10]

Up there with "You are tearing me apart Lisa" from The Room.

[@SirLuxxa]

Xehanort10 and "I don't like sand" from Attack of the Clones

[@abramsullivan7764]

Yeah it's really is along with I don't like rain it's cold, wet, freezing and it's get everywhere.

[@fanofgodjimindiva2497]

Such intelligent line could fit perfectly on Suicide Squad.

[@movieblocks9164]

Xehanort10 “everybody betray me! I fed ap wid dis worl”

[@BrowncoatAllywang]

Skinny Bella literally looks like a Xenomorph, it's horrific.

[@janedoe2343]

You can see her start loosing weight for breaking dawn 2 in the 1 part

[@-Diop-]

Yesss get your face clossser robert pattison, i just wanna hug it...

[@judeannethecandorchannel2153]

@@janedoe2343 Oh that makes sense...

[@judeannethecandorchannel2153]

Browncoat Here's an earful... . This is actually a completely amateurish and yet intuitively brilliant I meant successful on many levels young adult novel yes I'm going to stay at Shen Channel Union subconscious as we try to figure out how to move forward after feminism stop doxxing male dominance and get our act together so that loving special vdsm can be an acceptable. That was the subtext all along as what's her name who has such a terrible pro-style and wrote those and then they successful Fifty Shades books which were Redeemed by the screenwriters when they put together the movies largely with France Hagen is the frost. Seuss typos don't even care yeah France fog and whatever I think my keyboard is on Spanish for all the f*** I know.

[@karuma.-7618]

idky but u can see her intestines like coming out in a scene, then they r just gone, like wtf did they just put em back inside XD

[@Kelly_C]

i love how everyone in these movies looks absolutely miserable 100% of the time except michael sheen who looks like he's having the time of his goddamn life

[@wandanemer2630]

Bless him.

[@Nixus237]

He knows they’re shit movies so he just doesn’t give a fuck

[@bargainbrandmilk9858]

he realized he could be his real self in these movies

[@emmavastenberg4862]

It’s Michael Sheen of course he’ll be having a great time

[@ChangedMyNameFinally69]

He was already in one vampire franchise, so he's relishing that they let him in another.

[@gwengrasso1887]

Breaking Dawn Part 1 is just that one Mean Girls quote: “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant, and die.”

[@wandanemer2630]

Oh my god YES!

[@PGO5490]

As a minor who has watched that movie, I’d rather watch it again than think about twilight

[@joaovitorfarinabraga690]

27:00 imagine if after seeing Jacob turning into a werewolf the first thing Charlie said was YOU ! YOU’RE THE KILLER BEAR

[@bellaancheta5407]

BRUH IM SCREAMING 🤣🤣🤣

[@willo90li]

I hope that one comment from the last episode uses this scene in their fan fic, 'cause that would be: COMEDY GOLD

[@charliehubbell7513]

I would kill for that to happen!

[@skaterzy13]

This was literally my first thought hahaha

[@masterjames2627]

Epic

[@KurtTijamoMusic]

I watched this in theaters with my ex-girlfriend. I was not a Twilight fan. Let me tell you, watching an entire theater lose their minds during that final battle scene was the sight of a lifetime. Literal tears and screams and people jumping out of their seats. I was confused by the outrage, because I assumed the entire theater had read the books. Leaning over to my girlfriend I said, "Babe why are you so upset if you read the book-" "THIS WASN'T IN THE BOOK WHAT ARE THEY DOING THEY'RE RUINING IT" I leaned back in wonder thinking, "Oh god. Are they really doing this?" Fascination quickly turned to fear however, as flashes of riots started to flicker before my eyes. A girl standing on her seat here, some popcorn flung skyward there, my girlfriend growing steadily agitated in her seat beside me. I began scanning the exit signs, devising an escape plan for when things went south. And then, the fake-out reveal. The collective sigh of relief drowned out all sound for the next 10 seconds. Nervous laughter filled the room as everyone came to their senses. It was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life.

[@pastorTracy911]

Mikasa Ackerman he said it was years ago

[@leprechaunluck24]

Damn that’s a story

[@aishandste1964]

This same thing happened to me except I was the girlfriend screaming THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS. The cinema was insane hahaha

[@Xehanort10]

If the fight had been real instead of a vision that would have improved it not ruined it because in the book the Cullens and the Volturi just talk and walk away then comes the sappy "happily ever after" ending.

[@voidheart8696]

Hellava story

[@GV888-k2l]

as a brazilian i assure you we can all sense demon child by touching stomachs

[@lemonadebunker6183]

It's a brazilian thing

[@carolinacm5930]

It is what unites us, our magical sensual exotic capoeira demon-sensing powers.... ahahahaha

[@dantassantos269]

The one true gender: demon

[@axelz7]

We are also attracted by the energy of our samba. Something like stand users

[@funnysonicman]

arthur gvargas *CONFIRMED*

[@AvaTheJellyfish]

If it was a boy, she should have named it Charlie (after the only valid man in her life). A girl? Still Charlie.

[@hannahmerlino2462]

or if you wanted to continue the cursed mashing theme... Charlisle

[@LoveMyUnusual]

@@hannahmerlino2462 Thanks, I hate it.

[@katherinesanderson8990]

I mean, I think her middle name in the book is Carlie

[@takitaki202]

@@hannahmerlino2462 the way I had to pause and sit with my thought on this for a moment...

[@morganqorishchi8181]

Imagine Bella making unbroken eye contact with her mom while saying, "I'm naming this baby Charlie, after the only respectable member of my family."

[@danielshore1457]

Just realised Jacob is the literal definition of my wife's boyfriend

[@Jwilhoftstg]

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

[@hujan1744]

Like YOUR wife's boyfriend, or he's a literal definition of "My wife's boyfriend"?

[@Pazuzu4All]

In the military, they're called "Jodies." When the Edwards are out fighting the wars, the Jodies/Jacobs are keeping the wives entertained.

[@fanofgodjimindiva2497]

@@Pazuzu4All Spartans invented those. Men were training or fighting almost the entire year, so it was accepted that women would have lovers to keep them entertained. It was also accepted that soldiers would be bisexual and have their own soldier bfs. But you couldn't be 100% gay as Spartan govt demanded that soldiers would have offspring.

[@PocketMonsterNOT]

Wait

[@Harmonica821]

Now I want a charlie sequel where he hunts magical creatures in his retirement.

[@GumshoeClassic]

"Fantastic Bears and where to shoot them"

[@williammarick3541]

The finale is him facing off against the serial killer bear

[@ckzszs0019]

And he joins Sam and Dean🙃

[@bigstunna2049]

@@GumshoeClassic haha

[@bigstunna2049]

It sounds more interesting than the whole series

[@WaketheFallen131]

Hearing the line “Ejay, for EdwardJacob” gave me bloodborne insight

[@brosephnoonan223]

_"So the cringelord is a cringelord... even in a dream..."_

[@danielshore1457]

"ahh ej or ad some say Edwardjacob"

[@androidinblack5291]

@@danielshore1457 "Gouge out our eyes, as you did for the people who watched Twilight."

[@faultyistired2556]

Thx for reminding me about that wonderful game ima go play that. Elden ring hype 👁👅👁

[@victoryarn4381]

Yeah, I also started seeing weird testicle head monster dry humping local voltage tower

[@joshbarron8363]

Everyone: Why did you use a cgi child? Twilight: Cuz the animatronic looked too weird Everyone:...have you ever heard of a real kid?

[@johngreen8921]

American Sniper apparently took notes with the freaking toy baby

[@aguywithalotofopinions412]

Well real babies are super hard to work with

[@aa-to6ws]

@@aguywithalotofopinions412 lol just made them drunk for the scene and in exchange you pay for their chronic young alcoholism. It's Hollywood cast 101.

[@smart507532nd]

I still think they should have just used a real baby. I know working with kids is harder but it's a baby, they dont do much other than cry, eat and sleep when they're young.

[@madamefluffy4788]

The issue was that - almost straight out of the womb, the baby was expressive and observant of her surroundings. You can't get that effect with a real baby.

[@issahumps]

"We're werewolves not swear-wolves !" That's all that goes through my head when the werewolves show up

[@Vexmybeloved_]

I love what we do in the shadows HAHAHA

[@sofie4172]

that movie is the best thing that happened to me in 2020

[@DarthRue17]

That movie and tv show are eons better then Twilight

[@edabakb]

The tv show is brilliant too!

[@agletdontforgetit]

“we don’t sniff our own crotches, we sniff each other’s crotches as a form of greeting” “you’re on camera, dude...”

[@melodiousramblings8470]

A lot of this is made even better when you remember that jasper literally has the ability to change people moods, and he just doesnt... at all.

[@SantosAl]

He could basically solve almost all of their issues; since most problems in Twilight are people being overly emotional.

[@athenajaxon2397]

I forgot about that

[@kimjongun5613]

I genuinely forgot about that

[@ladievengeance1577]

oop! don't forget he used it that one time.. to make bella want to go to her birthday party... where she almost gets eaten by him! also, how did he even manage to use it on bella when uhm yk..... her whole purpose was that she was a shield from vampiric ability? LOL what a hot mess but still my favourite hot mess

[@WingerEdison]

@@karlijns4816 how is that not a mental ability?

[@imtm]

I love how Stephen Mayer realized nobody cared about a 109 yo guy falling in love with a 17/18 yo, so she decided to push boundaries even further and made a 20 something yo fall in love with a literal 2 weeks yo.

[@michaellovegrove9467]

Jacob’s character in the book would’ve still been a teenager so it’s ok

[@thatoneguy5343]

@@michaellovegrove9467 …

[@CoffeePhrawg]

RIGHT!?

[@mischr13]

@@michaellovegrove9467 that's...not how that works 😭

[@GrizzLee30]

2 week year old? NOT EVEN 2 HOURS

[@nobodyimportant7135]

Everybody says Kristen Stewart is a bad actress but since she managed to pull of the "you nicknamed my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster" line she deserved an Oscar

[@wandanemer2630]

True

[@roylle6346]

Cringe

[@Shank039]

Did she pull it off?!?!?!!?

[@keeva117]

"I conveniently stopped aging when I was hot." EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS, THANK YOU

[@HerohammerStudios]

To be fair, in the books it's explained that vampires become unbelievably hot once they're turned, as it makes it easier for them to lure in humans

[@Maxisamo1]

@@HerohammerStudios Not to mention the idea of immortality stops the living decay (aging after your prime) so you'll always look in your 20s-30s.

[@AbelDuviant]

@@Maxisamo1 No, you'll always look the same age you were when you were *turned*. It doesn't *undo* aging.

[@entertain7us148]

i just love how this whole movie is about their sex life yet i've never seen a pairing with less sexual chemistry. even when they're kissing they look like they hate each other.

[@moredetonation3755]

It's not like these people don't know how to be sensual. They dated for months!

[@AvaTheJellyfish]

Oh honey, have you seen fifty shades? I thought it wasn't possible but it is.

[@entertain7us148]

Ava Quigley oh it’s bad for sure, but it never looked like Ana and Christian HATED each other in supposedly romantic scenes

[@ximenavalerdi1840]

the whole movie barely talks about sex like what...

[@entertain7us148]

ximena valerdi uhh, what? Isn’t the whole idea of Bella having sex while still human a major plot point? Isn’t there a major plot point about how Edward is scared he’ll kill her if he has sex with her? Isn’t the majority of this movie just them on their honeymoon having sex 24/7?? Isn’t it the entire plot of the last movie that their sex created a vampire baby?????

[@damnryn_]

The interview when Robert says “Demon baby” is the only positive thing to come out of the whole series.

[@gabeflannery9750]

what interview is that?

[@naanvv7559]

hahhaa tell what its name is I'm curious

[@bergonath8851]

Doesn't he say "vampire baby"?

[@status-prune7202]

Gotta love Robert

[@samapple5390]

I watched this whole video and couldn’t find it. Could u show the timestamp? Update: I find vampire baby kzbin.info/www/bejne/aH6lmHqKftBlo9k

[@lepie6843]

Imagine naming your child after your husband and the man you cheated on your husband with

[@Xehanort10]

"Yeah Bella I'll definitely be OK with you giving our child your rebound's name as a middle name."

[@godemperorofmankind3.091]

what was so wrong with just "Edward Jr"

[@wandanemer2630]

Right? Only for then your child to get with the man you cheated on your husband with.

[@RageTyrannosaurus]

I deleted my response after the scene in question came up, and I understood.

[@senhorkorracha]

Adam Levine wants to know your location

[@CHIEFCSWAN]

“I’d be a freak of nature like this guy.” - Cosmonaut 2020

[@uncleiroh9134]

comment

[@samapple5390]

Marcus is lyin to himself he ain’t no freak. His girl on the other hand, would def roleplay as Bella if marcus let her.

[@samapple5390]

Marcus this is for you: “You are going through a metamorphosis, my nephew. It will not be a pleasant experience, but when you come out of it, you will be the beautiful prince you were always meant to be.” ~uncle iroh season 3

[@beyblademoses5379]

@@uncleiroh9134 is that a proverb?

[@ramenfriend2573]

The Cullens: Pro-Lifers The Volturi: FETUS DELETUS

[@lucalinadreemur9448]

The Volturi all about that LATE late term abortion

[@Plasmacat1]

Lmao

[@awesomegaymer5786]

@@lucalinadreemur9448 no they like 4th trimester abortion

[@l_rob420]

Yeetus yeetus, thine fetus is deletus

[@jamiedavies3032]

*F* *E* *T* *U* *S* *D* *E* *L* *E* *T* *U* *S*

[@theepoopydoodoo]

The kid who plays Seth is named Boo Boo Stewart. He's been in Twilight, X-Men and Descendants... a very interesting career tbh

[@zerdaloo]

You've gotta be shitting me on that name

[@Ladygothii12]

@@zerdaloo ....so....clever

[@treytoncorral3260]

Booboo is actually a nickname, his real name is Nils Allen Stewart Jr

[@roman.nose.enjoyer]

Treyton Corral hot

[@komi-sanmustbeprotected5665]

I hope he does well in acting everyone in these movies deserves better than this being what they’re known for, I’m rooting for new Batman to be good

[@TheMrelvisvicious]

The “YEET” when they threw the baby in the fire fucking killed me.

[@reginaldvandobowl1341]

Same here lmao

[@jesusgadea3589]

I feel the smash animation was the cherry on top

[@Vergil3421]

I never thought I'd say "Yes another Twilight video!" But 2020 is a mad year apparently

[@oscartrevino461]

Took the words out of my mouth

[@alexandrahunt1383]

Anything is possible... and they delivered.

[@GiulianaBruna]

I love that she had two vampires with super speed and reflexes, and they just let her fall and broke her knees. One of them can see the future! Worse nurses ever.

[@tbuckley2031]

Edward has 2 medical degrees

[@jasontoddsleftthigh5378]

they just didn't care, they probably just acted like they cared because edward was there

[@lugoorstar]

Sorry for being late but. Alice in the book explains that she can't see pregnant Bella's future and Bella appears blurry to her all the time (giving her headaches). But dam the other bitch just wanted her dead, she had no excuse.

[@lister5851]

This trilogy of videos was better than the whole saga. period

[@funnysonicman]

👏🏽

[@shanez1215]

Every time I feel down I give this series a watch lmao

[@angelined9814]

LMAO..no.

[@pathetic2399]

@@angelined9814 LMAO..yes.

[@LaineyKismet]

Facts

[@darrishawks6033]

I have heard that the actor who plays Aro did that weird laugh when Renesmee touched him because he thought: here's a guy who has seen every memory of every person he has ever touched, he hasn't found anything truly interesting for a thousand years, so when he sees this little girl flip the script, he giggles like a little kid And I hope that's true because I really appreciate that dedication

[@Whiteythereaper]

Michael Sheen is just excellent

[@Roseforthethorns]

Michael Sheen read Good Omens fan fiction before he was cast as Aziraphale in that show. I wouldn’t be surprised if the above logic is what he used for that scene with Renesmee. Just iconic.

[@LoveMyUnusual]

@@Whiteythereaper He does a good job being annoying as hell in 30 Rock. Gotta love him anyway in that role lmao.

[@madzerincognito9732]

But that laugh was before she touched him

[@darrishawks6033]

@@madzerincognito9732 but not before he knew she was going to touch him

[@quickdraw9648]

when Edward yells YOU'RE GIVING ME NO CHOICE or whatever all i could think was "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA"

[@elizabethmaraj530]

Same energy

[@brosephnoonan223]

inb4 that was the actor's insperation too

[@sj4763]

I really want a spin off with Charlie hunting the Bear Human

[@johngreen8921]

No, the creators know they would make too much money from that

[@tenkenroo]

That has too much potential to be good bad idea

[@mikirin3349]

Emmett could join him since he was mauled by a bear and was gonna die before Rosalie found him

[@SergioLeRoux]

The twist: Bear Human had the right to Bear Arms.

[@WhiteScorpio2]

Do they fall in love?

[@dylan9025]

*sadly* “I miss the cinema,” me too, Marcus, me too...

[@robmagar1771]

i had a hard time reading that, am i dyslexia

[@robmagar1771]

i am dyslexia 😞

[@curascristi106]

tenet is coming in july so it's not all that sad

[@upg5147]

@Õ_Õ Shy Guy "You know Tina makes that Velvet Cake during the holidays, we should go over Charlie." "Oh the one with cream cheese icing? Oh Gladys, you know I can't say no to that"

[@SIRLagalot007]

If hayden christinsen can deliver a monolouge about sand i believe hes the only other person to be able to deliver the loch ness monster line, and vice versa

[@robertcortez4956]

I’d say that he’s a better actor than the girl who plays as Bella

[@NinjaPickle]

You saying that, it fits so well. I need this movie series but with Hayden Christensen voicing Bella the entire time

[@geetadhumane5793]

Come on guys Hayden Christensen is way better than this shit

[@s.l.thecoffeeaddict1657]

??

[@cantthinkofaname5046]

@@s.l.thecoffeeaddict1657 people called both actors bad, but the fact that they can deliver these lines with it sounding even more egregious is proof that they’re actually pretty good

[@braydenpayne8617]

Marcus' laugh is a national treasure and must be praised

[@Geywilliamjohnson432]

19:42 "Uh, Spiderman! HuHAHAHAHAAWUHAHEHAHUHAA"

[@OptimusDelta]

Yeah man.that laugh at 28:34 was awesome. YEET 😂😂😂😂😂

[@Fung43]

“Seth is soo cute!!!” *immediately insults Seth three times in rapid succession*

[@briana88]

"EJ... Edward Jacob" I just slapped my own damn forehead 3 times

[@caffeinatedkatie4696]

Srsly it's like you are just the worst! You got married,had a child and become immortal(for Edward) and you're STILL thinking about the other dude???

[@LoveMyUnusual]

I will bless my potential son...with the name of my husband and boyfriend.

[@R3GARnator]

"Honey, I'd like a divorce" (cue laugh-track)

[@LoveMyUnusual]

@@R3GARnator (followed by the Seinfeld bass slaps)

[@shanez1215]

Jacob's like "Why the fuck am I the middle name???"

[@Amy-se8vq]

This Cosmonaut trilogy is honestly my comfort series now.

[@theRagingGlory]

I come back and rewatch it every month lol

[@LightYagami-ik1cg]

Been playing them at work for a few years now. The time just flies by. Honestly most of the ‘picture show’ vids slap for background ambiance 😂

[@chibilaryla]

Jacob: "I'll be like a dad to her, and in about six or seven years I'll be her Daddy *wink*"

[@CrimsonCharan]

I was waiting for one of them to make that joke. *Very disappointed in both of 'em*

[@VlazeSkylax]

This is actually more like "don't worry honey, I know you can't have me, but you can have my daughter instead“ Friend zoned and beyond

[@pizzzasteed5175]

FBI OPEN UP!!!!!

[@brosephnoonan223]

*I

[@vibez2806]

@@pizzzasteed5175 if anything they should have went for edward and her

[@Sylegacy]

"I WANT YOU TO [BLEEP], I WANT YOU TO HIT [BLEEP], [BLEEP]" I'm dying Lol

[@nattzoids]

@ 7:44

[@jefflz72]

You left oh the best part "I want you to [Bleep] between my toes"

[@robertcortez4956]

I wanna hear what she uncenscord so badly! Is it on his Patreon?

[@wywrd_mtnt]

I literally dropped everything the moment I got the notif to watch this

[@carsonfailor398]

Same I clicked off the middle of a cinema sins video just to watch this

[@ghostlyreina2966]

Bro sameee

[@davidedema7641]

I second his notion lol

[@i.l.y.6485]

I smiled so hard when I saw the notification

[@Iserlohn.Republican.Government]

Same

[@SakuraJade23]

THE TOM HOLLAND OF WEREWOLVES I SCREAMED

[@sauldogeman2816]

He legit has Tom Holland and Peter Parker's appearance and mannerisms.

[@holup4990]

^ they're saying Tom Holland _and_ Peter Parker, implying that it's an amalgamation of both

[@oliverabdon6243]

from someone who lives in brazil, i would like to say how completely impossible it would be to come to rio de janeiro and ignore the sun. a terrible choice

[@papillione22]

In the book they only travelled by night and on the island it didn't matter.

[@Thetruthiscosmic]

@@papillione22 Yup

[@oliverabdon6243]

@@papillione22 it remains a very worthy place to avoid for a vampire.

[@Medievalannie]

I'm Brazilian, and I honestly laugh so much every time that lady just walks up to Bella and says "death" in the thickest accent possible. The portrayal of Brazilian people in the twilight saga is so stereotypical, it becomes comical.

[@heatth1474]

Yes! Came to the comments just to see someone else mention it, it is hilarious.

[@saulo4302]

yup lol

[@LDungeon]

MÓRRTCHE

[@uglyguy2519]

And this isn't even one of those movies that thinks we speak Spanish. I guess they could only pick one stereotype.

[@apolinario5579]

velho eu perdi tudo com ela falando "MORTE" KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[@looparal1765]

Vampires: *speed blur* Werewolves: *stock dog sound effect*

[@trapattack9661]

Humans (aka just Bella): *terrible acting*

[@JustBrandon-i]

@@trapattack9661 beat me to it

[@redhood4131]

I want entire dub of this movie, but it’s Marcus’s voices. Especially the one of the creepy Vampire leader 😂

[@somerandomgeezer7316]

Yeeeeeesssssss

[@Smallfrogs]

the cosmonaut - jenny nicholson cross over was everything i needed

[@doctorprofessor182]

She would be the one to know about an animatronic.

[@s.l.thecoffeeaddict1657]

Endgame whooooooo?

[@artbysarf]

S.L. The Coffee Addict she’s the one at 24:45 who explains the animatronic baby to Marcus. She’s also a very funny youtuber! I highly recommend.

[@Synnamon27]

Sarf He meant “Endgame who” like “Endgame doesn’t even compare to this”

[@grumpyman2]

What was that from? Looks like a charity stream?

[@Zeerotohero]

“Why does she still have a cgi face?” Because they decided to cast the child version and then just edit her face to a fake baby and a real teen actress rather than... you know.... just finding a baby, child, and teen that look alike

[@amberwingtundrawing776]

Honestly they couldve just found any random white baby. The baby isn't even in it for that long so no one would care

[@Zeerotohero]

Amberwing Tundrawing EXACTLY

[@OnionKnightRises]

@@amberwingtundrawing776 Right, I have seen people who looked so completely different as a baby. Just find a baby of the same race, gender, and with the same hair color and boom.

[@elizabethhull3611]

Finally, Aro is appreciated for being the absolute king freak he is.

[@-JaggedGrace-]

I remember hearing the actor explaining his odd reaction to Renesmee. He said that if he were hundreds of years old, he would have stopped being surprised by things because he's seen everything, so seeing something genuinely surprising would put an unusual thrill in him.

[@makotocarolin]

Either the screenwriter or Stephanie Meyer wrote the line “YOU NICKNAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER????!!!!!!!” And the director looked at the line, and went “yup, that works”

[@theultimateusukfan]

it's in the books....word for word (unfortunately lmao)

[@SoyBoyZoot]

"You can turn into a horse!?" Was the most underappreciated joke in this video

[@kevintaylor5264]

"You, there, at home. Kevin." My name is Kevin and that actually startled me. lol

[@vfmc77]

Same. Stoned too. Very trippy lol

[@baba_treesh]

LMFAOOOOO I was literally thinking anyone with that name must be super uncomfortable 🤣🤣🤣

[@kevinrios1949]

BROOOO!!! NOOOOO WHYYYY?!?!?! I felt called out.

[@Mikey-lw9fl]

Saaame. It caught me off guard 😂

[@kevingb6778]

same

[@Ilanuil]

I genuinely want him to redub the movie. Those parts he mimiced Aro´s voice were too funny XD

[@saulo4302]

Also: 30:03 - 30:09 And... 33:03 - 33:09

[@paperbackwriter1111]

The pregnancy body horror was actually pretty fucked in the books too, so the movie is kinda doing it justice.

[@Malu1303]

Yes, hi, hello, Brazilian here. We have a specific mythology for werewolves around here - The seventh son of a seventh son is inherently a werewolf - not so much for vampires. The closest would be a spoof creature who’s name somewhat translates to “Ass sucker from Goianinha”.

[@lemonadebunker6183]

Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk chupa cu Nakssjosjwlsbdkxhssosbosabs

[@aaronmelgar7116]

Cool. Now, tell me more about this "ass sucker".

[@mateussousa6606]

@@aaronmelgar7116 you don't wanna know man. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[@reyavispa1472]

You mean EL LOBIZÓN

[@beatricem.6125]

Hahahaha true! 🤣🤣🤣

[@coatimundi69]

why did she decide to fuse their moms names but not their dads... carlie is a cute name

[@necro926]

Funny you should say. According to the book that is her middle name.

[@lucalinadreemur9448]

Well, if you fuse Charlie and Carlisle.... it's Charlisle. Or Carlie. Both of which are unbelievably cursed

[@pastorTracy911]

Lucalina Dreemur Carlie is adorable

[@levitator45]

In the book, her name is Renesme Carlie

[@someidiot420]

necro926 *that doesnt sound right but i really dont know enough about twilight to dispute it*

[@krusnik94]

Michael Sheen's character was the Emperor Palpatine of these movies

[@BoyMadeOfCardBoard]

The likes

[@athenajaxon2397]

YES

[@bella-tt9hk]

OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT

[@tokyotea2381]

that feeling when you’ve seen pigeons have more sexual tension than jacob, Edward and Bella

[@kuro-kuromi32]

i have literally seen two pigeons fuck and even then it wasn’t as awkward or funny as bella and edwards weird romps

[@jorgy7958]

@@kuro-kuromi32 Why we’re you watching two pigeons doing that?

[@thek2despot426]

@@jorgy7958 You wouldn't if given the chance? 🤨

[@Danny-eb9kb]

@Mister Majestic you herd him

[@LoveMyUnusual]

Wtf is this thread 🤣

[@217awesome]

I’ve been waiting for this, fifty shades next. Just like watching Marcus rip up movies

[@BenSmith-xr7kf]

Bruh the tall girl and air bender one was fucking funny as shit

[@PittsburghSonido]

Marcus is a kink shamer 😂

[@saulo4302]

@Maanas Mallela YEET

[@megambam]

That Pete Davidson reference had me in tears. Kristen Stewart is basically like a female version of his Chad character in this series...but with less personality.

[@greenEntertainer.]

26:56 Wait a minute... Charlie has been investigating the deaths of the townsfolk, assuming that some sort of large animal killed them, yet he doesn't immediately assume that Jacob the Werewolf or any of his family are actually responsible?

[@hiero-green]

Wait shit dude you actually bring up an insanely good point what the hell

[@Xehanort10]

Yeah. Wouldn't he think Jacob had killed them and realise it wasn't a bear?

[@papillione22]

He told him about the vampires and to proof that supernatural things exist he changed in front of him. I guess he can put together that it was vampires and not sombody who he knows and trusts.

[@ExhaustedWombat]

Papillione E he specifically doesn’t tell him about vampires because it would break their dumb code or whatever. So, yeah, all Charlie knows for sure is people can turn into huge monsters.

[@GoddoDoggo]

@@ExhaustedWombat I mean, if my daughter's fiance had 400 graduation caps in his house, my daughter was now weirdly pale with red eyes, and my daughter's friend who reveals himself to be a werewolf told me "Your daughter is 'different' now," I think I'd pretty quickly connect the dots to, "Okay so she's a vampire," even without anyone explicitly saying that.

[@awandererfromys1680]

Kristen Stewart's emaciated appearance was probably the best vfx/make-up combo of the entire movie series to be honest. It's legit unsettling.

[@sheromovavasilisa7692]

They created an actual human size puppet too.

[@edb4ll165]

I love how in theatres everyone who was a Twilight fan lost their shit at the final battle scene, and then everyone else was like ‘Aw fuck yeah a cool battle scene, you didn’t tell me this was in the movie, babe’

[@PFSVenom]

The mother looks like Tall Girl's father, every shot she's in she just looks miserable

[@Xehanort10]

I'd have been miserable if I was in Tall Girl too.

[@theextrawoman]

She reminds me of Skipper from the Madagascar movies.

[@PFSVenom]

@@Xehanort10 shit man if i was an actor, i'd rather be the father in that movie than the other characters, just gimme my paycheck

[@brosephnoonan223]

Same energy

[@MeBeCreepy]

*Veronica’s eyes every other cheesy ass line* ⬆️↘️➡️↩️↗️⬇️⤵️

[@rikititi1848]

Jacob imprinting on the baby is the ultimate harry-snape fanfiction prove me wrong

[@wandanemer2630]

Oh my god.

[@JNDReacts]

Shit, you’re right!

[@chubchubpotatoes4983]

The reasons these suck are because Charlie’s barely in them

[@GoddoDoggo]

I know you meant "Charlie's barely in them," but now my brain won't stop saying "Charlie's Barley."

[@chubchubpotatoes4983]

Dog God I got you fam

[@adamocoin4678]

I really wish the ending battle had Charlie coming out of the woods with a shotgun and just blasting all the vampires

[@damkylan3]

ALL of them. Like, Bella is screaming "dad, wtf, you're killing our friends!" and Charlie's like, "the only good vamp is a dead vamp."

[@GoddoDoggo]

@@damkylan3 Sign me up for the spinoff series, Charlie Swan: Vampire Hunter

[@benjaminhollis1221]

Man that Evangelion ‘congratulations’ reference triggered my PTSD

[@mr.moviemafia]

Marcus’ journey from “I’m team Jacob all the way” to “yeah, beat the fuck out of him” at 25:25 is beautiful to behold

[@jayspencer4033]

Ok I’ve been holding off on saying anything until you finished these, and now that you have I can say without a doubt this particular set of videos are some of the funniest you’ve ever produced. Please make more saga videos together of other odd franchises because this was A quality shit right here !!! 10/10

[@jaysworld8055]

please bring back veronica ☠️ her inputs are hilarious

[@AndreNitroX]

Agreed these are his best videos I’m rolling and laughing.

[@awfulwoman]

Giant agree- kindaa wanna become a patron so i can see the full commentary tbh

[@marcocares4141]

@@jaysworld8055 *their

[@AirQuotes]

Right

[@JazzyNym]

Ok I can't be the only one who once finding out Bella was pregnant was like...give her blood. Give her blood. She needs blood. Her baby is a demon vampire hybrid, give her blood THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE PREGNANCY and when they were like...omg, blood helps? I rolled my eyes SO HARD.

[@SayaCeline]

Having her drink it drove me nuts though! Infuse that shit yo! I'm sure one of the nurses at the hospital could give him a quick tutorial on how to start an IV and a pump!

[@stuffwithsoph8264]

@@SayaCeline Carlisle is a doctor too 💀

[@olived8218]

Me too 😂😂 It’s like, ummm Carlisle is a 400 year old vampire doctor, and sees that Bella is pregnant with a vampire baby that is “draining the life out of her” yet he doesn’t think maybe she should drink blood, or at least have a blood IV? Lol seriously? Maybe they didn’t say anything because they wanted her to die , that’s the only explanation for that stupidity lol 😂

[@SayaCeline]

@@olived8218 My new headcannon is that Carlisle doesn't know how to start an IV and work a pump to run blood but doesn't want to admit it because he's an ancient doctor.

[@toyosibee.mp3]

Sophia Kotsariadis well not a Very Good One, now is he

[@existenceisrelative]

New Trope: The hipster girl no one really likes is the one who knows all the mystical stuff. Except she never _really_ thought that stuff was real until she helps the protagonist.

[@Master10k2]

Sounds more interesting than what we get.

[@kuribro443]

the thought of Christian vampires arguing over abortions makes me laugh every time.

[@Sercil00]

Jacward: "Mum, why'd you call me Jacward?" Bella: "At the time, I couldn't decide between your father and my ex bf. He felt bad, so I named you halfway after him." Jacward: "That's... weird. Why did I never meet him in 10 years?" Bella: "Your dad couldn't help reading his mind. It got uncomfortable... we got a restraining order against him..."

[@villainessy]

BEST COMMENT

[@MiguelHerrera-nh9qw]

TIME FOR 50 SHADES OF GREY PICTURE SHOW NOW

[@R3GARnator]

Marcus forehead would be so red.

[@kaepiper]

YEP LETS GOOOOO

[@jaimohighv3783]

No

[@KizaruB]

Cant wait for a picture show where he can barely show any clips

[@elliegd]

“imagine spending $12.50 to sit in a theater and watch this” me: *looks at ticket stub, looks at blue ray of both parts* yeah, who would do that?

[@LAFC_Lalo]

When he said “we’re supposed to be partners” he sounded like he was acting in a 90s cop movie

[@ThatNoobartist]

“The Tom Holland of werewolves”

[@CPUAlexis]

Werewolves*

[@jacquiemorataya248]

I read this as he said it!

[@kaepiper]

i hate that it’s true

[@aimeewilson4505]

Seth and Charlie were the only good characters in this franchise, I said it.

[@SaraSG1]

I dunno Leah and Carlyle were pretty alright too.

[@jthememeking]

Jasper, Rose were pretty awesome. I would love a prequel story of jasper. That guy is fucking gangsta

[@DarthMeteos]

Benjamin is really cool, though

[@caitlynluciano]

Carlisle as well don't forget

[@EvelynnEleonore]

this is blatant alice erasure

[@allanjones5658]

"I made a few mistakes... I'm in brazil right now" me, a brazilian: yes

[@_-_sinexus_-_]

Come on it can't be that bad... right?

[@gustavoaraujopenha8463]

@@_-_sinexus_-_ oh boy. It is.

[@_-_sinexus_-_]

@@gustavoaraujopenha8463 explain

[@ianbailey4213]

Plot of the next Twilight movie is that Bolsanaro sends a magical mercenary hit squad on Bella.

[@mariah6395]

nossa nem fala cara

[@BellaHRayne]

GOING TO FIND THE CLITORIS IN THE WOODS!! That's the best thing I have ever heard in my entire life.

[@Kat-qe1vk]

"EDWARD DOESN'T BELIEVE IN THE DEATH PENALTYYY!" *disappointed tone* "...but he's still pro-life."

[@Smellbringer]

At least they're consistent.

[@Wired4Life2]

FYI, you can be pro-life (i.e., from conception to natural death) and support the death penalty (for those few criminals who can no longer resist bringing lethal and menacing harm to the public).

[@boshwa20]

"This is the beginning of the movie" needs to be a shirt

[@R3GARnator]

It's a quote from Who Killed Captain Alex, the Ugandan action film!

[@WhyOhWhyPhi]

but it has to be written as "disdabeginunofdamoovey" :D

[@dawnmayflower4422]

iamphillip Haha!

[@Shuru10]

17:32 Can you imagine that? Your wife just naming your future child after you and the guy she almost hooked up with?

[@sleepy-peepy]

And ultimately, the guy who’ll try to hook up with your future child too.

[@WhaleManMan]

"If I didnt know, I would think she wasn't into him." Kristen Stewart and her girlfriend: _>

[@Hollowfication96]

they were dating at the time

[@androidsenpai1462]

@@jasontoddsleftthigh5378 She is _openly_ bi, and I respect her for that. (Basically, she said you aren’t confused if you’re bi, and it’s the exact opposite of confusion for her)

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

"This is finally Couple Goals". THAT'S when he should've figured out it was a fantasy dream.

[@admin.slayerenryu]

How the...? What the....? Why are you here?!

[@kelapearse4132]

Me: "hello there" 😀

[@deadshot1995]

@@admin.slayerenryu he is everywhere and nowhere. An anomaly on the KZbin comment threads, seen by all yet known by none. How does he not only view so many KZbin videos, but manage to leave a funny/insightful comment on all of them? Can he truly be just one man? Are multiple individuals sharing this account, all dedicated to the cause? Whatever the case, Just Some Guy with a Mustache has pushed the boundaries of being a KZbin commenter further than anyone thought was possible.

[@ronypaul7720]

@@deadshot1995 Why are you so formal

[@KaregoAt]

Yeaaaaah the Michael Sheen vampire is the best character, he's hilarious and also exactly how I would act as a million years old immortal being, just kooky and unhinged as shit.

[@nyxayde]

the fact he plays a super serious werewolf leader in the Underworld series, then gets cast in this role, its no wonder why he just plays it as kooky and insane as possible

[@funnysonicman]

“I know, I look hot.” *Its official, Charlie is iconic*

[@TheHorrorDevotee]

When they're both kissing for an uncomfortably long time at the wedding, I always hear that Juno quote in my head. The one where she's kissing the guy and her best friend shouts 'You know, you can go into early labour sucking face like that!'

[@lukesguywalker]

THAT SCENE WHERE BELLA'S BACK BREAKS (17:56) MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD WHEN I FIRST SAW IT AND IT THREW ME OFF GUARD TO SEE IT AGAIN THE SOUND MIXING IS SO HILARIOUS

[@caffeinatedkatie4696]

Whenever my back hurts now I quote Mike Tyson

[@valkyrie9646]

Coreofthestar, JC, WHY TF ARE YOU USING ALL CAPS?!! ARE YOU YELLING OR JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO WORK YOUR PHONE?!!!!!!!

[@giulia1603]

Sounds like they’re breaking a handful of celery

[@ayarriba9093]

My stomach REALLY hurts I laughed too hard and for too long 🤣🤣🤣

[@rotten-waffles]

I can’t stop replaying it hoooooooooly shit

[@mjsgoose123]

"imagine paying 12.50 to sit in a movie theatre for 2 hours to watch this" *Mad flash backs to when 12 year old me did*

[@zoedamle4401]

I watched the midnight premiere and cried, so.

[@sengiko]

Yeah...I remember

[@hilosky]

Rami Malek is a waterbender here and in the Legend of Korra.

[@Alassandros]

He's not just a waterbender, he's the avatar here. Lol

[@quintus920]

20:08 "Your son is too cringe to live" remains one of my favorite lines from a KZbin video 2+ years on.