Watching 50 Shades of Grey For The First Time (Not Clickbait)

With special guest @Ginkgocrown
Patreon: / cosmonautvarietyhour
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Twitter: / cosmovarietyhr

[@fivestarman5130]

Watching a movie on Valentine's Day with your ex is one thing. Watching Fifty Shades of Grey on Valentine's Day is one thing. Watching Fifty Shades of Grey on Valentine's Day with your ex is on a whole different planet

[@alvaroandre3098]

Watching someone watching fifty shades of grey on Valentine's day with your ex is completely madness

[@DoctorCyan]

Built different.

[@CamJames]

to be fair, they watched before Valentine's Day.

[@quanicle101]

this isn’t even the first time he’s done this. he did it with meg too lmao

[@thefilmwatcher1302]

@@quanicle101 He dated Meghan?

[@kleinerbur]

Watching a Cosmonaut video is practically a race against the inevitable copystrike

[@skullcandy14785]

I wanna download it

[@MarcusFigueras]

@@skullcandy14785 you better do it off of a third party website. KZbin premium doesn't let you watch copy striked stuff

[@freyafleurir984]

All these comments will be lost in time like tears in rain... time to reupload

[@satisfied656]

I became more aroused from these two people commenting on the movie as i get bored watching actual "50 shades of boredom"! 😮‍💨

[@ConverseSC]

I always watch them as soon as they appear for this very reason. YT hates this man.

[@lenflakisinski6260]

Not only does Marcus have a healthy relationship with his ex, it’s so healthy that his ex’s mom is still a fan of the show

[@A-with-the-J]

Not to mention healthy enough to watch 50 SHADES on VALENTINE’S DAY with each other without ANY negative/awkward feelings and just have a great time clowning on the movie If THAT ain’t goals I dunno what is

[@KatieLHall-fy1hw]

Guaranteed it wasn’t instant and took time

[@sethvanpelt5707]

He also watched 2 seasons of a dating show with his other ex

[@juniejulynie]

@@A-with-the-Jwell to be fair they did record this before valentines day, his ex posted on their story when they were about to record the picture show

[@c0quinha]

its really weird, like its hard to comprehend, no one is THAT healthy

[@MattyJ-hl6re]

Any movie that can legitimately have a plot device called "the sex jeans" is automatically a masterpiece

[@Homodemon]

Even worse, they're called "Dom Jeans" You know The jeans he uses When he's in Dom mode

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

Ah yes, jeans, the most erotic thing one could wear in a role-play session. Whenever I’m getting ready to have steamy BDSM sex, I think to myself, “you know what clothing material just exudes sensuality and dominance? Denim”

[@emilianobarrera2003]

VERO IS BACK, I FEEL HAPPIER THAN WHEN MY PARENTS REMARRIED AFTER THEIR DIVORCE

[@WSendam]

Happy Valentine’s Day ❤

[@toat_]

HAHAHHA

[@satisfied656]

I became more aroused from these two people commenting on the movie as i get bored watching actual "50 shades of boredom"! 😮‍💨

[@excelsior7345]

I FUCKING CHOKED

[@greyghost2492]

what?

[@seansalis4101]

Marcus’s ability to maintain friendships with people he’s dated is downright impressive EDIT: This is a funny observation that Marcus has had 2 ex partners on picture show. It’s not actually a big deal. I was just making myself laugh.

[@focusfireno.1099]

That just means they're healthy people mentally. For the most part, of course.

[@plaguedoctorjamespainshe6009]

Maturity and being healthy tends to lead to this kind of thing

[@YourBlackLocal]

I mean isn’t it just the one person.

[@BrickedUpp]

He’s got that rizz

[@m3gatron_]

@@YourBlackLocal no cosmonaut megan also dated marcus, and they are still friends

[@Whiteythereaper]

That "The Submissive must go to every Marvel movie with me" line got me so fucking good, god damn

[@tananatana4011]

Marcus the type of guy to have a "let's just be friends" conversation with his partner and then ACTUALLY proceed to be friends with them

[@weeznaz8195]

At 7:26 she voices disinterest in watching straight people have romance. My guess is she didn't fully realize she was gay, but during her dating with Cosmonaut she realized it and they had an amicable breakup.

[@vandalg282]

When you're this young, its a phase, plenty of stats on women "experimenting" then going back to top tier meat rods.

[@perhaps1094]

@@vandalg282 you wanna throw up those stats, any graphs or sources? (Rhetorical cus they dont exist)

[@rasmuskock8077]

​@@vandalg282 wtf is wrong with you

[@Edgeperor]

@@vandalg282 do share those stats.

[@LogicalMan6]

Ah yes, the exception to the phrase: "Still a better love story than twilight"

[@mroffice8166]

and that is simply becuase this is a Twilight fanfic hahaha

[@peytongonavy]

They really got me missing the sparkly vampires and wolf pedo.

[@Ronin3453]

What about 365,25 days?

[@bethanychatman9531]

​@@mroffice8166 nah, it's only because it's the abusive twilight "romance" but on crack.

[@bethanychatman9531]

​@@Ronin3453 also, that trash.

[@Forever_Zero]

"His whole personality is that he likes to slap people and you don't like that" I'm surprised how well this describes the whole movie

[@lissilalou]

Marcus’s fixation on the jeans so much funnier if you’ve read the books (which shamefully I have) and those jeans are described in detail and yes he wears the same pair of jeans every time he’s in the playroom. And Anastasia thinks they are the hottest things ever

[@ubermaster1]

It's so funny cause I could literally just make those kinds of jeans right now with a kitchen knife and 10 minutes of my time.

[@herefishyfishy13]

I had the same thought. If you think they're silly here... Boy are they more silly in the book. Lol. If I recall correctly, which unfortunately I also think I do, one of the last things Anna does in the series is reverently lay out his Dom jeans.

[@RacingSnails64]

That's a fair kink to have tbh. One of the most human aspects of this story lmaooo.

[@bethanychatman9531]

​@@RacingSnails64 it's still funny and odd, lol. Especially because they're so ugly.

[@judeconnor-macintyre9874]

They're his dom jeans.

[@askeleton5421]

Fun Fact: The original climax to the film adaptation of 50 Shades was planned to be Ana using her safe word in the playroom and Christian ignoring it, leading her to walk out on him like she did at the end. However the author of the books retained a staggering amount of creative control in the licensing agreement with the studio, and she got the ending changed so it followed the book closer. The director and writer for the first film refused to return for the sequels.

[@askeleton5421]

@@booperdooper2631 I believe that most of the crew had contracts before the first film came out securing them for the whole series, but the director and writer refused to sign. However it was highly suspicious when the writer was replaced by the author’s husband for the rest of the series.

[@varsityreviews707]

@@askeleton5421 Now I'm genuinely curious what the rest of the franchise would've been if Grey went all grape on her. How do you come back from that and stay with someone??

[@theonlykoh4631]

Jesus, imagine knowing trivia about this garbage Lmfaooo

[@KatieLHall-fy1hw]

Is that true? Dang that is rough

[@josecienega6427]

Bro why the fuck do you know this shit

[@ladygaygay94]

This is the greatest Valentine’s Day gift ever! Watching Marcus cringe in horror. You truly do love your community!!

[@LoveMyUnusual]

I saw it on my feed while in a coffee shop and resisted the urge to yell: "LET'S GOOOOO!" I also waited until I got home to watch it for obvious reasons lol. Best Valentine's Day ever!

[@EvocativeKitsune]

We need a pin-up of Marcus lying in bed, reading his comics, feet up and giggling. Wearing the Ayyylien hoodie.

[@goldenageofdinosaurs7192]

Yes!🤣🤣

[@themediumcheese]

I'll take two

[@mangolorian]

I’ll take 20

[@cybercrasherstv]

He's like two steps away from being a femboy

[@schmoo3309]

I'll take 200

[@JoJoJoker]

50 Shades is like watching two AI chatbots attempting a human conversation.

[@LoveMyUnusual]

Yes, we enjoy this thing known as sexual intercourse, as humans do.

[@ryanartward]

Granted the Chatbots have better chemistry.

[@codered1132]

Idk man, technology is getting smarter ☹️

[@Homodemon]

@@LoveMyUnusual "I love it when you call me Father."

[@cloudsprite8349]

"I don't make love. I fuck" Vero having a fucking aneurysm was the best thing I've ever seen

[@Simon-xg7on]

Idk why but Marcus saying that his mother watches the picture show videos is so wholesome

[@spongebobsquarepants2981]

Ok

[@scottysock5593]

"The submissive must *insert mundane activity here*" bit is so good

[@judeconnor-macintyre9874]

Fun fact: In the books they always discuss the jeans. They call them "dom jeans" and they are often described as "hanging that way" which is very vague but from my research I understand it means they're hanging in a way that shows his v-line.

[@strawbebbiejam]

ohh my gosh no way 😭 so goofy

[@imanoldurango8213]

That’s fkn hilarious 😂 thank you

[@millerman841]

" Say I'm a little teapot " that one got me

[@captainmichaelstudios]

"The big building is symbolism for his c*ck!" Best quote if all time

[@babzm.1666]

YES. The Twilight videos are such comfy repeat rewatches for me, super excited for this one!

[@SwainixFPV]

I'm glad they added the halloween ones a year or 2 ago too, I've seen them too many times lol

[@kdusel1991]

Me too! Those are hilarious! I'm definitely gonna watch this one and the twilight ones tomorrow!!

[@Wired4Life2]

Anne V. Coates won an Oscar for editing the 1962 Best Picture-winning epic _Lawrence of Arabia._ She also edited _Fifty Shades of Grey._

[@KatieLHall-fy1hw]

A check is a check

[@damkylan3]

Talk about moving on up to bigger and better things. … 😏

[@Wired4Life2]

@@damkylan3 _”Calm down, son, it’s just a drawing, not the real thing.”_

[@basementdwellercosplay]

I had to look this up and it's true but also this was her last film she edited!

[@Wired4Life2]

@@basementdwellercosplay She definitely went out with a bang (or two).

[@felicitasjuarez]

The Black History Month joke absolutely destroyed me I'm fucking gasping for air

[@joeljs9778]

If I had a nickel for every time Marcus watches something arkward with an ex, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

[@Wiiware2568]

What’s the other one?

[@aryakulkarni9904]

@@Wiiware2568 shrektober friend

[@jacobwolf6035]

there’s more than two i’m pretty sure

[@tonyf5869]

Dating Around. Those 2 episodes are fucking gold. "I've had so much fucking pad Thai"

[@jacobwolf6035]

@@tonyf5869 “he looks like marty mcflys dad”

[@FIELDSbass]

As a huge Arrested Development fan, I have come to the conclusion that Christian Grey is a Never Nude. While Tobias wears the cutoffs, he wears the sex jeans. "THERE ARE DOZENS OF US! DOZENS!"

[@elizabethashley42]

Headcanon accepted.

[@Karaetify]

Now since Grey is Twilight fanfic I imagine the scene of Anastasia and Grey standing in the forest and her asking “Who are you” and he’s like; - I think you already know, say it, SAY IT - A Never Nude 😂

[@LoveMyUnusual]

@@Karaetify Ana: I thought you just liked cut-offs.

[@LoveMyUnusual]

"Do these effectively hide my thunder?" - Dr. Tobias Funke, World's First Analrapist

[@hansakkerman2611]

@@LoveMyUnusual" it did not look good on paper"

[@SpartanMDC113]

I watched this with my girlfriend and she turned to me and said "Fuckin Marcus watching porn for the plot no wonder he single again" lmaooo

[@jamiemcnally3222]

"Now say I'm a little teapot" has huge MST3K energy

[@raiden1766]

Marcus is already suffering BEFORE the movie starts, we’re in for something special boys and girls Edit: We got it...in the form of monke

[@variadi]

As a virgin, I speak for everyone when I say you've made our valentines day.

[@mcoupe69]

Bless your soul and may you one day soon complete the quest and coom in de pooosi.. or some other hole .. whatever floats your boat 🫡

[@gabagoo777]

Real

[@coolpool4191]

Real

[@matiasaguilar2500]

Real

[@vitonevarez8059]

Real

[@justyouraverageblackstar3672]

2:52 It’s actually kind of creepy how you’ve managed to perfectly describe my mom who actually bought the extended editions

[@snozer6966]

I'm sorry but THERE WAS EXTENDED EDITIONS

[@justyouraverageblackstar3672]

@@snozer6966 Yep, you could probably assume just about everything that was added tho

[@some_metalhead]

Marcus dying laughing over the jeans killed me 😂 Apparently in the books (I haven’t read them, I just saw this quote somewhere), Ana does have a special name for his jeans - they’re his “DJs” aka “Dom Jeans”

[@sensualfridays512]

BRO I've never seen this movie before and at 5:28 I jokingly said "I fuck." not knowing that he would ACTUALLY SAY IT. It was the easily the most surreal moment I've had watching Picture Show 10/10

[@TheShanicpower]

The full line is ”I fuck. Hard.” which makes it even better I feel

[@dromalloma2651]

_"Hard."_ That bit always sends me into a fit of giggles

[@Eva01-jy2qu7pu9r]

Seeing Marcus and Vero reunited makes me super excited to see how they cover the whole trilogy!

[@northnick3317]

"Take your fucking jeans and get out of my room" Marcus couldn't even say that without laughing his ass off XD

[@danahimrich1059]

Marcus comparing the plot to Batman '89 is both funny and prophetic when you remember who shows up in the sequels.

[@eshaandwivedi4921]

Wait, who shows up?

[@toxicbob2000]

​@@eshaandwivedi4921The Joker

[@eshaandwivedi4921]

@@toxicbob2000 Wait Jack nicolshon was in these movies?

[@julie1958]

marcus dating and then staying friends with some of the gayest people i've seen is honestly legendary. he's a real ally fr fr (also i love it when vero's in videos he's so funny)

[@Ronin3453]

Imagine dating somebody and turning them gay 😔

[@pacmax4454]

Vero is a S tier picture show guest I love them in every episode they’re in

[@SaadAli-oz3sz]

The amount of joy I get when cosmonaut posts is immeasurable

[@LeanneLukacs]

What makes the sex jeans even funnier is the fact that in Grey (the first book rewritten from Christian's POV) he refers to them, in all seriousness, as his "DJs - my Dom Jeans." (I'm embarrassed that I know this but I just had to share)

[@revolversoul03]

Does anyone know why Marcus never finished the Fifty Shades Trilogy commentary? This first video Slaps!!!

[@yuricampos166]

Well, I didn't know that Marcus also dated Vero. His ability to keep a friendship with his exes are quite unique.

[@Wiiware2568]

I knew he was dating Vero. Who’s the other one?

[@cleothehermetichermeticist8391]

@@Wiiware2568 Meghan from the Picture Shows.

[@ChefLuisFayad]

@@Wiiware2568 everyone else that has appeared on CPS

[@raptorjesus9054]

@@Wiiware2568 Dan ofc

[@liamdysoco4832]

@@ChefLuisFayad don’t forget Andre

[@maraneza-5370]

I'm so glad you guys are friends still, this video has been foreshadowed since the twilight picture shows and I have been blessed to see it

[@sunrise.system]

you don't understand how excited i was to see vero back, they're such a fun presence in picture shows

[@hamhawk2401]

When he said “I don’t make love, I fuck,” I let out the most genuine belly laugh I’ve ever had in my entire life.

[@jobean2745]

Petition for Markus to watch the next two films 🤣

[@madtitan0825]

U know damn well he will lolll

[@robertcortez4956]

Considering it was Vero’s idea, and Marcus’ enthusiasm, I bet top dollar they will.

[@eshaandwivedi4921]

The catch is that he’s probably only gonna watch these movies on Valentine’s Day. So we gotta wait till next year.

[@Bjhorn279]

6 months later and I need it

[@dr.deadpool5959]

Marcus: I hate the transformers movies Also Marcus: *has a poster of transformers on the wall*

[@tereziamarkova2822]

Oh, the jeans... Lemme tell you about the jeans, because it's the funniest shit ever. In the book, it's his special sex jeans that he wears to the kinky dungeon. He never wears anything else there - and yes, that means he goes commando every single time. And Anastasia LOVES IT. Seriously, every time she sees him in them, she waxes poetically about how sexy he looks in them and how they hang from his hips in "that way", whatever the fuck is that supposed to mean. So to hear the two of them roast those same jeans had me absolutely in stitches.

[@Pazuzu4All]

For all the many things wrong with this movie, the cinematography is outstanding. Given the shitty material they had to work with, the filmmakers made it look as nice as they could. I appreciate that. Also, kudos to Marcus for keeping his friendship with Vero. The way they play off each other is fun to watch.

[@elichan7]

I worked on this movie years ago and when i saw you guys do twilight i was SOOOOO excited for this. Please do the whole trilogy. they were so funny to work on from the props department

[@freyafleurir984]

The "Clue character" joke already got me rollin

[@bretto7]

10:20 ‘now say I’m a little teapot’ I fucking cried. I had to pause the video to get my breath back. fuck. fuck me.

[@keithwoodcrest]

My now wife and I went to go see all 3 of these while we were dating and we loved them because they were just so obviously corny and cheesy and we just did exactly what the two of you are doing except in the theaters. The sandwich crunching noise you put over him biting the sandwich had me rolling. This commentary was amazing. Please do all 3

[@GwentheNinth]

Vero's scream at him saying 'Fuck' was so visceral! XD

[@goldenhand9107]

biggest joke of the movie is we're supposed to believe Dakota Johnson is a college student

[@guidoguido2245]

The fact that this movie works as both Twilight and Batman fan fiction is poetic.

[@GlitzBog]

If Christian ever threw his jeans against a hard surface, from the time he's worn them around Anastasia in this, they would straight-up shatter.

[@TheShanicpower]

This made me physically RECOIL lmao

[@OsvaldoChannel1]

Hell yeah, Vero is back, I love her "I don't care if I get banned from KZbin" energy

[@sketchycat6223]

The only thing I remember about these movies is that the soundtracks had chart topping songs that people forget were made for a bdsm kink movie, & that the tagline for the third and final film was ‘don’t miss the CLIMAX’ and honestly that’s all I need to know

[@KeithBroni]

My great-aunt passed away late last year. When she was found, at peace in her bed, she had '50 Shades Of Grey' in her hands. 100% true.

[@imanoldurango8213]

This is incredibly insensitive but…. Like did she die from being aroused? 😂😂😂😂 I just imagine her reading it and then saying “it’s been 59 years” like the old chick from titanic

[@eshaandwivedi4921]

@@imanoldurango8213 Bruh.

[@nateds7326]

It's both sad and really interesting looking at the behind the scenes and seeing how much effort and thought the production and costume designers put into the first movie, like it's legit really cool how they explain how Christian's suit mirrors his "arc" throughout the movie.

[@sweetbroth08]

13:28 mario when he falls off the level

[@linkwakeroftime]

Oh hell yeah Vero is back to force Marcus to watch bad romance movies! i’m here for the whole series if y’all want to do it

[@JLunaarS]

I always feel like I have to watch these as fast possible before they're sent to the shadow realm

[@alexmacdougall5700]

If I'm remembering right the actual BDSM community was super pissed about this movie cause it's represents literally everything about the community incorrectly. Like it's 100% about consent.

[@Zero-mn8bt]

My favourite thing about these movies is how Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson hate each other irl

[@IndiConRecs]

The fact that this is the video that doesn't immediately get taken down is hilarious

[@IndiConRecs]

Also can't wait for part 2

[@gibsonhreviews1005]

Marcus and his ex deserve medals of honour for watching this awful disturbing movie

[@PutonRepeat0]

Tomorrow is the big day Marcus. Don't let us down.😙

[@mischiefmanaged7274]

Obsessed already, I have watched the Twilight reaction videos the other days and wondered if you would ever do 50 shades of Grey. It is finally happening guys!

[@carbonio1450]

Happy to see vero back, please do the sequels together too

[@benlarson6031]

3:05 is single handedly my favorite picture show moment period. The way Marcus says the line is so perfect, satirical and understanding all at the same time

[@danielfernandez21907]

its been a year marcus i need part 2

[@fjmoneybagz]

You and Vero’s Twilight Picture Shows are some of my favorite vids on the channel so I was pleasantly surprised to see this duo again for Twilight Fanfiction the Movie!

[@ddr1019ify]

Marcus not only having an ex, but EXES, and having solid enough relationships with both of them still that they'll make KZbin videos with him. King shit.

[@pateramat]

I happened to think a few seconds ago, "I wonder what Cosmonaut is up to?" I clicked and was rewarded with this--posted two hours ago! The Twilight review is one of my favorite KZbin series I've ever seen, and I couldn't be happier! Thank you for tackling this extremely difficult-to-watch content.

[@Quidividilake]

It’s very cool to see exes who still have great chemistry as pals. The ability to talk about anal fisting with an ex and not have it be weird is pretty incredible.

[@ggt47]

Wow...not the valentine's Day present we wanted. But the one we deserve.

[@zenith8294]

Speak for yourself, it's *exactly* what I wanted

[@InfiniteLilith]

I've waited actual years for this. I'm so happy it's finally here.

[@lilbigmedium4578]

Pls part 2 this shit is hilarious

[@FatNinjaWalrus]

the dynamic between you two when you watch shitty movies is just so fucking hilarious, please keep this up

[@Ronin_-lw3me]

Marcus's ability to watch a movie all about sex with a person he's dated and now calls a friend is downright impressive that too on Valentine's Day people have no idea how many bathroom breaks would that take

[@AA-zt3bp]

Bathroom breaks??

[@MOaxol]

gross 😭

[@CountOfMonteCristo_]

It’s honestly impressive the sheer amount of mental and emotional security and maturity, it’s downright inspiring as someone who’s going through a breakup currently 🙃

[@hiphopotamus69]

“The submissive will read every chapter of One Piece” 😂

[@LauraConnolly]

Anastasia and Christian would have a wicked double barrel last name going either way like Steele-Gray or Gray-Steele are peak last names

[@AfroBoy22TKN]

Are we gonna get a sequel this year?😂

[@LemonSte]

YEAHHHHHH THE DUO IS BACK BABYYYYY Edit: rip they broke up 😭 cute that you guys are pals though, I vibe

[@pretzels1208]

Knowing what shades of grey is now makes me a little uncomfortable knowing my mom loved these books when i was a kid. Literally every time i would go into her room she would have one of the books of this trilogy on her bedside table, it's like she was re-reading that shit.

[@imanoldurango8213]

I mean would it be any better if she had one of those other erotic books? Like the ones with a Fabio lookin mf on the cover?

[@bethanychatman9531]

Well maybe she just enjoyed the porn ( nothing's wrong with that) , It's just hard to believe anyone could because it's so poorly written.

[@systemshift]

I'm so happy to see you guys made another video together! I was feeling down and rewatched your twilight series because the two of you together bring me so much joy Please review the second movie!!

[@circlestickjay2889]

OMG VERO’S BACK YAY!! I’ve missed them on picture show!!

[@kostas225cmp]

I literally just rewatched your Twilight videos yesterday, and now you put out this. I feel blessed.

[@commonsense5847]

Waiting for the next episode. Need that b so bad

[@chingading957]

9:30 the submissive must go to every Marvel movie with me 🤣😂🤣😂

[@IconicBoar097]

THE RETURN seeing vero and you back to roast a movie again is the best valentine's any one could have asked for!

[@stick-itproductions.3307]

This is the perfect morning. Got some writing done. Good weather, AND a cosmonaut picture show. All that missing is a bowl of cereal or some kind of snack... I'll be right back.

[@davidwoloshyn]

Always fun to see Vero on the channel, you guys have such a good dynamic!

[@ShinRobjira]

I was just going through your Twilight videos the other day, hoping, one day, you and Vero would come back and actually take this hit. TIMING. It was super worth the wait! So glad you two are still homies! Your chemistry is too good for this world to lose.

[@axthla8435]

13:10 I LITERALLY SPIT MY FOOD OUT LAUGHING 😭😭😭😭

[@dandylionwine]

This was the funniest thing I've seen in months. I'm so glad Vero came back for this one, you guys made such a good time out of it.

[@rubberwoody]

Marcus' next GF is going to have a Scott pilgrim esque Ex boss gauntlet

[@kit2635]

I have been rewatching both the cut and uncut Twilight picture show a million times this week and wondering if yall would ever do this and THIS IS THE BEST VALENTINES DAY GIFT EVER THANK YALL

[@strawbebbiejam]

there is an uncut picture show? where do u watch it, i would like to know please

[@JaceEncinas]

@@strawbebbiejam patreon

[@sunrise.system]

@@strawbebbiejam patreon iirc

[@strawbebbiejam]

@@sunrise.system awesome, thx :)

[@savacook3368]

The disgust in Vero’s voice when she says “Oh my God!” at 13:20 kills me.